"Thousands dead. The Stock Market crashed…. The economy is in shambles… all because of one clown."
J. Jonah Jameson slammed his own newspaper on the desk and glared at the staff surrounding his table.
"I want a full feature on the Joker, stat." He barked. "I want to know who he is and where he came from… Everything there is to know about the guy."
"We don't know." Robbie said dully, rubbing his sweating face with a rag. "His background is a complete mystery."
"The guy has spent half his life in an insane asylum, start there."
"The most corrupt institution in the country, you mean." Robbie said dully. "We've requested records from them and they haven't responded. We spoke with Gotham PD on the phone and they explained to me all of the documentation has been lost."
Jameson threw his hands up into the air.
"Beautiful." He said. "Just beautiful. Everyone just decided to be incompetent all at once… this country is going to the dogs."
He set his hands back down and glared at his staffers.
"What about that other guy, the billionaire?"
"Bruce Wayne?" Robbie shook his head. "The official investigation is still ongoing, but he's what we do know. His parents were murdered when he was very young-"
Jameson lit a cigar, nodding along.
"He spent his entire youth traveling the world." Robbie continued. "The official story released to the public was that he was living it up as Gotham's richest playboy, but what actually seems to have happened is that he was dedicating himself to fighting crime."
"Like a bat flavored Spider-Man." Jameson said with disapproval. "With the same results, I take it?"
"Worse." Robbie answered. "When Bruce Wayne returned to Gotham as Batman, he went to war on crime. He violated civil liberties, hospitalized innocent people, and terrorized Gotham's night life."
"Like a bat flavored Spider-Man." James repeated, even more disgusted. "These vigilantes… all that money and he couldn't have come up with a better way to fight crime, eh?"
"Well all of his resources went to this crusade. He was neglecting his duties as Chariman of Wayne Enterprises to do this, and the company is going under now."
"Makes you wonder what Spider-Man's really like under that mask." Jameson growled.
"Yes, well, that's all that's been publicly released for now. The city of Gotham is trying to hush the entire thing up. Police Commissioner Gordon hedged all of his bets on him to deal with crime illegally. It's been a nightmare just getting into his mansion…. It still hasn't' been searched properly."
"This isn't going to sell papers." Jameson said suddenly. "This is yesterday's news… get me more information on Joker, pronto."
And he waved them out of his office.
…
Mary Jane placed a cold rag on Peter's hand and wrapped it around.
"That shock must have been something." She murmured. "To knock you out like that."
"I should have seen it coming." Peter said bitterly. The news had been blasting information about the Joker all day. A discarded edition of that day's Daily Bugle sat in front of him. He had been spending his free time reading everything he could on the Joker.
"It was your first time dealing with him." Mary Jane said soothingly. "If he comes back you'll see it coming a mile away."
"If he comes back…" Peter repeated. "He will be back."
The protests hadn't stopped after the Joker rampaged through Wall Street. A number of the city's upper crust had been killed or beaten. Many of them had fled to other areas of the country, but those who had not made it out in time had been victim to the mob.
"You're funnier than he is, you'll do fine." Mary Jane said encouragingly. Petre let out a dry chuckle.
The newscaster woman on the TV gave a small start.
"This just in! Joker has started streaming live from Arkham Asylum!"
Peter tried to sit up, but Mary Jane forced him back down.
"You can watch it from here." She said sternly, as the scene transitioned.
"Hello Gotham." Joker said warmly on the TV. "And welcome New York. We're well aware that all eyes are on us this fine evening-" He waved his hand behind him, and Harley Quinn started playing a kazoo. "My old friend Commissioner Gordon seems to be keeping the real state of Gotham under wraps, so I thought that I would fire up a stream and explain the gravity of the situation."
"All superchats and donations will be read after the stream." Harley Quinn said helpfully.
"Not." Joker said nastily, and then broke out into laughter. "The Batman is dead. Until just recently, Gotham was in mourning. We have all lost a valuable pillar of our community. Whenever Bruce Wayne wasn't banging expensive whores or sleeping off his partying, he was out on the street. Every night after midnight until the crack of dawn, keeping all of us safe at night."
Joker began laughing again.
"But all of that has changed now, I'm afraid. No one is safe in Gotham. And after what has happened this week… no one is safe in New York either. And if New York isn't safe… you aren't safe either."
Joker laughed again.
"I'm not satisfied with simply controlling this cesspool of a city! No, I want more! Not just this Asylum, not just Gotham! I want the entire world if I can take it! After all-"
He glowered at the camera.
"Who exactly is going to stop me?"
He raised a gun and fired at the camera. The screen was shattered, but they could still make out the sound of the Joker's laughter through the stream.
"He's insane." Mary Jane said immediately. "He can't- He can't really think that-"
"Last week you thought it would be insane for him to come here." Peter said grimly. "And look what happened."
She flushed.
"Peter, I-"
"He needs to be stopped." Peter said quietly. "By any means necessary."
"Peter-"
"I'm going to Gotham." Peter said. "I'll find a job there… or maybe I'll be Spider-Man full time. I can't let him get away with this."
Mary Jane gave him a look.
"You would leave me here?" She said, a little bit dispirited. "Alone?"
She placed a hand on her stomach.
"I have to." Peter said. 'If I don't-"
"I know." Mary Jane said heavily. "I- I know." She looked troubled, somewhat, as if she were about to say something. "There are a lot of other freaks in Gotham, I'm told." She said instead. "You won't just be fighting the Joker. Plant women and killer alligators and-"
"I know." Peter said quietly. "I know."
They sat in silence for a while.
"I'll explain everything to Aunt May." Mary Jane said quietly. "I'll take care of her, don't worry."
"Thank you." Peter said quietly. "I should leave tonight."
"Now?" She repeated, shocked. "But- it's dark. Wait until the morning at least-"
"Batman wouldn't wait until the morning, would he?"
She frowned at him. "You're not Batman." She said. "And I wouldn't want you to be." Her face fell. "Just look at what happened to him."
…
"Police? Police?"
There was a pause on the other side of the line.
"We cannot help you." The voice said. The line went dead. The girl let out a scream as she was yanked by the hair and dragged to the front of the store.
"This is a new Gotham, girlie." The man rasped, as he bent her over the table facing the street front window. The girl let out a whimper as he hacked at her outfit with a knife, cutting it to shreds. "There's no Bat coming to save you now."
The window burst open. A red and blue clad superhero shot through the glass like a missile, knocking him backward and away from her. The girl straightened herself and whirled as the man, in several quick fluid motions, wrapped her attacker in thick white gunk.
"Wha- who?"
The man straightened himself and looked at her.
"Just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man." He said. "Are you hurt?"
"N-no…" The woman said, keenly aware that her bra was showing through her top. She tried to cover herself, blushing wildly.
"You should get home.' Spider-man advised her. "Before more of them come."
"B-but… my shift… I have to pay rent!"
"Your safety is more important." Spider-man told her. "The owners will understand, I'm sure. Where do you live? I'll take you back."
In a matter of moments she was back at her apartment, waving good-bye to her new savior.
…
It was a Rumble. There was only enough space on the block for one gang, not two. It was no holds barred: Weapons were permitted. The only people who were coming out of this alive were the victors.
"They're waiting just up ahead." The leader warned them. "Chances are the instant we spot each other… we fight."
They came to the arranged place and looked around. They stared. Their enemies, the people they had been intending to fight and kill, had been strung up in thick white webbing over the street.
"What the-"
"I think you can negotiate out this little issue you two have been having."
They turned to see a figure staring down at them from above the building.
"Who're you? "The leader asked rudely.
"Just your friendly neighborhood Spider-man." The figure said warmly. "And I think the two of you need to be thinking about bigger things than petty gang violence. Both of you would have been squashed if you tried taking on the gangs that control the city."
"So we're small time, so what?" The man barked. "We got no choice."
"You always have a choice." Spider-man responded calmly. And in a matter of moments all of them were strung up as well.
"I want the two of you to hash this out." Spider-man said. "And come to a bit of an understanding as to who is really causing all the problems you've been having already."
He took off, swinging off into the sunset."
…
"Spider-Man, huh?"
Harvey Dent, now generally referred to as Two-Face, spat into a bowl. "Another one of those costumed freaks, huh? Where did he come from?"
"No one knows, boss." The man answered. "But he's been a big reason where our forays outside our territory aren't going so hot."
"Just like the Bat." Dent said. "One that comes out during the day." He rapped his fingers against the table. "I would love to deal with him, but with things the way they are now- he is far from our biggest threat."
"He's nobody." His voice shifted to the gravelly, darker tone he used when he was agitated.
"Yes boss."
Dent sat on his chair, flipping his coin, deep in thought. Spider-Man, huh? No doubt it was one of those kids that Batman always kept around… the ones that his people were saying he was sexually abusing. But his methods and abilities were way different than what the Bat had used…
The void that Batman had left behind had been filled.
…
The Joker clenched his fist. A copy of the Daily Bugle had been set right in front of him.
"Spider-Man and Joker in cahoots?" He repeated. He grabbed the paper and ripped it to shreds. "Next time we go to the city we should pay that paper a visit."
"On it, sweetie." Harley Quinn said brightly, as he reached for her note pad and jotted it down jovially.
The Joker's eyes glinted.
"Spider-Man is going to rue the day he came to my city." He rasped. "He's not very much fun to play with yet… but when we get to know each other a wee bit better… ohoho, it will be just like old times."
He sat back in his chair and smiled.
"Keep an eye on him, Harley. And let me know if anything about him catches your eye."
Harley Quinn nodded, and bounced up and down on her heels.
…