"You had my son," Rick said, the pronouncement soft as a whisper. "I…We – we have a son. A son."

"We do. Our wonderful, amazing little RJ." Michonne watched Rick closely. He had the most expressive eyes. The striking blue orbs seemed to lighten and darken with the intensity of his moods. As he peered into her eyes, she saw so many emotions staring back. Happiness, curiosity, sadness, and more. "Rick?" she prompted.

"You gave me the greatest gift of my life when you gave me your heart, and then you gave me even more, a son, and I wasn't there. Damn it!" He pounced from the sofa and swiped at his tears. "I missed it. I missed all of it. I wasn't there for you or him and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

His pained whimper broke her heart. She joined him in the middle of the small room. "Hey, no." She clasped his hand to her chest and cupped his cheek. "It's okay."

"No, it's not okay, Michonne. I wanted us to have a baby. I couldn't wait to see you pregnant and feel our baby moving inside of you." He pressed his hand to her stomach. "I would've waited on you hand and foot. I could imagine myself running around trying to find all the crazy foods you'd be craving and massaging your swollen feet. Then, that moment of finally holding our baby in my arms." He folded his arms as if cradling an infant. "Seeing a little of you and me in our tiny person." He shrugged and lowered his arms. "I didn't get any of that. You had to raise him by yourself."

"That's not your fault." She smoothed away his tears. "I know that and RJ knows that. He loves you. He knows all about the brave man and how he sacrificed himself to protect his loved ones. You are his hero."

"His hero? No, he's mine." Rick brought her into his arms. "Thank you, Michonne. Thank you for my son. My son." He smacked a loud kiss to her cheek. "Tell me about RJ, our little Rick Grimes, Jr. Rick Grimes, Jr.?" He smiled proudly. "I can't…I can't get over that name." Rick sat on the couch, bringing her next to him. "You said he looks like me. How? Was he a good baby? What does he like to do? What are his favorite foods? What is …?"

Michonne chuckled, pressing her hand to his lips, ending his litany of questions. "Okay, I get it," she said, humored at seeing Rick Grimes tickled pink. "RJ is the best of us, but when I say he looks like you, I mean it. Blend our complexions, more yours than mine, with a younger version of you, and that's RJ." Rick's bright grin brightened the more she spoke. "The structure of his face, the set of his eyes, his cheeks and chin, his nose and lips, and those dark brown curls are all you. I see a little of me in him, hidden behind your strong features, he has my brown eyes, but he is every bit his father's son. He was a wonderful baby, very congenial. RJ loves to read. He started when he was three."

"What?" Rick eyes widened in amazement. "Three?"

"Yes. He's a very smart little boy. Inquisitive. He loves vegetables. Tomatoes are his favorite. He loves riding his bike, running and exploring, playing with trucks, drawing and coloring, and hanging out with Judith. At least when she thinks he's not being an annoying little brother."

"They get along?"

"They do. She's a wonderful big sister, and very protective of him."

"And what about Judith?"

Michonne smiled. "She's masterful with her sword."

"I bet," Rick said with a little laugh. "Just like her mom. What else?"

"She's determined, compassionate, and wise beyond her years." Michonne's heart swelled with pride. It didn't matter that Judith didn't share any DNA with her or Rick, she was as much theirs as RJ, and Michonne couldn't love her more if she'd given birth to her. "She's really incredible."

"She is just like you."

Michonne couldn't disagree with that. "Like us," she said. "Because she has a lot of you in her, too."

"Nah, I think – I think you're being kind. Judith was four when I disappeared from her life. Our daughter is the young woman you raised. It's the same reason RJ is so smart. You raised our children to be the phenomenal individuals they are, and you did it alone. I wish I could take some credit, but…"

"No buts." Michonne shook her head. "Uh-uh. Judith has done things I have vehemently disagreed with, and you know what she'd say, 'Mom, it's what Dad would've done.' And RJ, RJ is a doer, observant and reflective. He doesn't talk unless he has something to say, and it serves him very well. That's why he's smart, and that's what he got from you. Rick, you are a huge part of why our children are the way they are. You guided the first years of Judith's life and she's passed on that guidance to your namesake. You've been a part of their lives and my life every…single...day," she said, punctuating each word with a finger to his chest. "Every day. Do you hear me?"

Rick took the finger and kissed it. "Yes, ma'am."

"When I gave you my heart, I gave it to you forever." She pressed her hand to his cheek, and lovingly held his gaze. "That's why I told you about RJ the way I did. After your beautiful words, I couldn't just say ditto when telling you about who came into my life."

"Oh, so, you decided to use choice doublespeak to give me a heart attack instead, okay," he quipped.

"That little green-eyed monster in you is cute," she said with a little laugh, scratching her fingers through his beard. "but those words, every one true, were to show you how much I love you and what your love has given me: the gift of our son. RJ is the one and only love that's come into my life since you've been gone, and he's been such a gift. He looks like you, but there'll be a smile or a look in his eyes that will remind me of his brothers. You and I, we would see Carl in Judith all the time, and it was comforting, but to see him and Andre in their little brother..." She sighed, her heart overflowing with those memories. "That's special."

"Sounds like it." Rick smiled, his gorgeous eyes beaming. "Carl would've loved him."

"He would have."

"I can't wait to me, RJ."

"I can't wait for you to meet him, too."

Michonne stroked Rick's cheek, drowning in a beautiful sea of blue as she settled into his arms on the couch. She knew they still had so many more things to talk about, they'd barely even scratched the surface, but she felt so calm and happy, because they were together. Together in this odd, secretive-militarized place with a helicopter strong enough to hoist and carry a horse and six adults. A strange upside down world where nothing was what it seemed to be. This apartment, a no-frills studio, was essentially a prison cell that she and Rick were stuck in – for now. Even without specifics, she knew they were getting home. She knew it, because they were together and unstoppable, and because she had some more details to share.

Rick twined his fingers in her locs. "When you were telling me about RJ's existence in your special, loving way, I was feeling all kinds of things." He tapped her nose. "You got me good."

"I had the best intentions."

"The sentiment was beautiful, and it worked perfectly because you know me so well. I was blindsided in the best way, because I know how lucky I am to have you. You're a beautiful, smart, amazing woman, and you love me. I was gone eight years. You saw me disappear in a ball of –"

Michonne winced. "Don't remind me." She brought her head to his chest, hearing the rhythmic beat of his heart, and getting solace that chased away haunting memories of that horrible day.

"You had every reason to believe I was gone forever, and in all that time there was no one else in your life. Weeks after Lori thought I had died, she was with Shane."

She looked up at him. "Lori was Lori. I am nothing like her."

"I'm well aware of that," Rick said, pressing a long kiss to her forehead. "It's just, after hearing everything, there's a little part of me that wishes there had been someone. Some help with the children, some support for you. Someone to tell you how wonderful and special you are. I hate that you did this all alone."

"I wasn't involved with anyone, Rick, but I wasn't alone. Alexandria is a community and everyone rallied around me. News of the pregnancy threw support into overdrive. Aaron, Rosita, and Gabriel were always around to look after me and the children, but Daryl was the true lifesaver for me and our children in so many ways that I ca -" Rick's sharp intake of breath and the sudden vibrant shade of beet red on his face took Michonne aback. "What's wrong?"

"You say Daryl was a lifesaver for you?"

"Why do you sound surprised? Daryl's your best friend, you're like brothers."

"Cane and Abel," Rick grumbled, the rumbly timbre in his voice an unsettling complement to the stormy blue of his eyes. "I can't believe he didn't tell you." Rick rubbed his face and started pacing the small room. "No, I can believe it. He never takes responsibility."

"Hey." Michonne stood in Rick's path, ending his pacing. "Didn't tell me what? What am I missing?"

Rick rubbed the back of his neck, trying to stave off the tension settling there and in his shoulders. Thinking of Daryl always brought him to a dark place, but after learning about his son, his little RJ, he went somewhere beyond the darkness. Rick's gaze fell upon Michonne. Questions and confusion swirled in her brown eyes, erasing the happiness that shone there moments before. He didn't want to tell her about this. Daryl had been good to her, they'd always been good friends, but Rick knew the support offered during her most needy times was spurred by guilt. He knew it like he knew his name.

"I'm sorry, Michonne." Rick took her hand and led her to the couch. He sighed deeply, not knowing where to start.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"Because me answering your question is going to hurt you. I thought it was something you already knew, but I guess I should've known better."

"Don't speak in riddles, Rick, just tell me what it is."

"It's about how Negan was killed. It was a plot."

"How Negan was killed? Michonne replied. "Negan, isn't dead. At least he wasn't when I left."

"Wh – What are you talking about? Of course he's dead, Maggie killed him the day I disappeared," Rick insisted, unwilling to believe anything else. He'd lost eight years, no way could this all have been for nothing. "Michonne, tell me. Just say it. Maggie killed him."

"Maggie came to Alexandria. She was already inside the gates when Scott told me. I met her outside the cell and she had a crowbar, determined to do Negan in. She'd blamed us for robbing her of the chance to see Negan die. Said if Negan had done to you what he'd done to Glenn, and I had to raise a child alone, I would've already killed him. I couldn't talk her down, so I gave her the keys. When she came out, the crowbar was clean. She hadn't done it. How did you know Maggie was at Alexandria?"

"Because Daryl told me. Jerry got a message from Jesus that Maggie was on her way there. I sent a relay to have her stopped at the gates and to inform you of what was happening. Daryl offered a ride to get me there faster, but instead he rode me pass the turn to Alexandria. I stopped him, we got into a tussle, and fell into a wide hole about twenty-five feet deep. We heard gunshots coming from camp, and pretty soon, walkers started falling in."

"What?"

"Yeah. When we got out, I knew that big herd would be pulled in from the shots, and I wanted to lead it away from the bridge, 'cause I didn't want to lose it. It was already hard to keep things going, to make Carl's wish possible, when so many were unhappy with the Negan decision. I couldn't lose the bridge, the connection for everyone. I got on a horse and tried to lead the walkers away. As I was riding, more walkers circled, and my horse got spooked and threw me. I landed on a block and got impaled by a piece of rebar."

"Oh, God." Tears streamed down Michonne's cheeks. "That's how you got hurt," she murmured, sniffling. "The blood. It looked so bad."

"It was bad, and I was surrounded by walkers, so I had to get free. I managed to pull myself off and get back on the horse, but I kept passing out from blood loss, and eventually fell completely off. Walkers were heading into camp and toward the bridge, and I couldn't stop them. I'd hoped it would collapse under the weight, but it didn't, and if I didn't stop them, every community would've been at risk. When they knocked over the sticks of dynamite, I knew I had to…"

"Don't." Michonne broke down in his arms. "That moment has tormented me," she said through sobs. "I knew why you were going to do it, I know who you are, but my God, when I saw you aim your gun, I didn't care about anyone else. I just wanted to help you, to get to you and stop you, because you were already hurting and bleeding. I screamed your name, the gun went off, and you were gone in a massive ball of fire. Just like that, you were just gone, gone, just gone, and I was destroyed." Clinging to him, she burst into anguished guttural wails. "I was destroyed."

"Shh, shh." Rick her close. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, to see that, but I'm here. I'm here." Rick continued to soother her, his heart breaking at her visceral reaction to remembering what had happened to him. The fact she had endured this in real time while pregnant gutted him most of all. His face burned hot. That thin line between love and hate was even thinner and obscured by dirt when it came to Maggie and Daryl, but Daryl most of all. Eight years had given him a lot of time to think and his anger a lot of time to grow. While his current situation involved a few sets of hands, Daryl's was the first. Rick kept soothing Michonne, and soon her sobs quieted and her shuddering body calmed. She peeled her face from his chest. "Are you better?" he asked, rubbing her back.

"I'm with you, that makes everything better. It's just hearing your details and remembering brought it all back. It was like I was there again. Reliving it. I knew Maggie and Daryl didn't agree with the decision, but I thought they were trying."

"The idea had to be Maggie's. Daryl was still carrying the guilt of his part of what happened to Glenn, especially since Maggie didn't blame him, and after being Negan's captive, he went along with it. Others were involved, because Daryl admitted that the relay didn't go through. It wasn't the Kingdom."

"Oceanside?"

"They had been killing those missing Saviors, and it started after Gregory's hanging. I hate Maggie was too weak to come to me with this and that Daryl is a punk ass son of a bitch. Maggie lost nothing from me jailing Negan. Nothing. She couldn't even kill him. I hated that bastard, but I did what I did because Carl saw a better way." Rick scoffed. "Actions and consequences. If Daryl hadn't reacted to Abraham's murder, Glenn would still be alive. And if he and Maggie hadn't plotted this kill Negan scheme, one they didn't even see through, I wouldn't have been pulled from the camp and lost eight years with you and RJ's birth. I don't care that it was an unintentional circumstance; I missed my son's birth and the first seven years of his life. Daryl robbed me of that, he and Maggie did, and I will never forgive them for this."

"Knowing what I know now, I don't think they've forgiven themselves. Soon after you were gone, Maggie left with Hershel to join Georgie and the twins, and she hasn't been back since. Daryl went looking for your body, we both did, but as the pregnancy progressed, I couldn't, but he kept at it. He was determined and he was pained. He was never around for long before leaving again, and he'd be gone for long stretches. It was guilt, wasn't it?"

Rick nodded, wiping away the remnants of her tears. "Daryl can be extremely reactionary and it can be a danger for others. I'm glad he could be of some help to you and our children when you needed it, but I am done with him, and I honestly don't know what I'll do when I see him again."

"You will do what your heart leads you to do, and whatever it is will be right." Michonne shook her head, sighing. "He never said a word, never even hinted at being with you right before everything happened, and we'd been through so much together. Some really tough times. Maggie said if our roles were reversed, Negan would've been dead. If Daryl had told me this, I think – I think I would've killed him. I'm angry knowing this truth, but my anger is tamed because you're telling me all this." She caressed his cheek. "I have you."

"Always will."

"It's sad and disappointing to hear, but I deserved to know his part in you being taken from me for all these years."

"That's why I told you. When you said Daryl was a lifesaver, when I feel like he stole my life, something ran through me." Rick clenched his fists. "He was there with you, he got to hold my son and be uncle to him and Judith, while I was stuck here and other places like this for years trying to stay alive and get back to you. You look around here, everything looks so normal, but it's far from that." Rick's heart raced and eyes burned with tears. He was angry, hurt, and afraid for how Michonne would look at him, feel about him, when he told her all the rest she needed to hear. They needed to get home, to find a way together, but in order to do that, he had to tell her about these last eight years. He lowered his head, unable to bear witness to what he feared he would see as he spoke. "I have done things, Michonne. I have done…"

"Whatever you had to do." She lifted his chin, forcing their eyes to me. "That's what you did." She wiped away his tears. "How do I know? Because you're here. Because we're together. I have done things, too, Rick, horrible things, but they had to be done. I will never judge you and I will never not love you. There is nothing you can say to me that will lessen my love and respect for you. I love all of you, Rick Grimes. The man you are, the fighter you are, the survivor you are. That will never change."

"The same for me," Rick replied, kissing Michonne with all the love and gratitude he felt. She truly was his salvation. "Not ever."

"Okay now." She stroked his cheek. "Talk to me."

"It was Jadis who found me," he said. "That despicable bitch found me and took me away from you. I didn't remember how. I just remember waking up somewhere, in a world of pain, with her staring down at me. She got me stuck here, in this Civic Republic Military, and I almost beat her to death."

"Yeah, I know."

"You – you know?"

"I found your letter in the bottle, Rick. I found it, I found Jadis, and then I killed that bitch."

~Thanks for reading!~