Chapter 04
*DING! DONG!*
That's the sound of the bells, signaling the end of class session and start of next. The next session for his class is Rescue Training led by Thirteen. His students are bustling around, getting up from their tables and getting ready to head out to Ground Alpha where the training will take place.
*KNOCK KNOCK!*
The knock on the classroom door gains his attention. If it were his colleagues, the other teachers, they would just enter without knocking. Seeing that they knock, this is a formal visit.
"Come in."
The door slides open, revealing none other than Present Mic and all his leathery and banana hair glory.
"Yo Eraserhead!" The Voice Hero greets flashily, complete with finger guns. He nods in reply, not bothered by his antics at the moment. If Mic wants to mess with him, he would've just barged in unannounced. So for him to knock means business. Seeing his flashy greeting, it is nothing serious or urgent.
Mic doesn't enter. Instead, he steps aside, while looking to the side and gesturing inside.
"Yo Eraserhead!" Miruko greets as she appears at the doorway. His eyebrows shoot up his forehead while his students all shouts in surprise and awe, especially the female students.
"Miruko," he greets back before giving a nod to Mic, silently thanking him. The Voice Hero flashes him a wide smile before he closes the door. The shouts from the students pull Miruko's attention. She quickly gives them her attention with a giant smile on her face.
He wonders why she is here. In fact, this is the first time she is here. What reason for her to be here? Does it involve his class? If it's that then it must be something to do with the internship that is coming up soon. That would be the logical conclusion.
"If you're looking for an intern you're a little too early," he says to her. The students quieten and Miruko turns towards him.
Her smile changes when her eyes land on him, one that he grows to familiar with.
…One that he begins to realize he gets exclusively.
"Their internship will not begin until the end of next month," he continues as the students head out of the classroom. The last student closes the door behind her, leaving him and Miruko alone.
"I'll take note of that but I'm not here for the brats," Miruko replies.
He blinks, surprised. So she's not here for the internship? Why is she at UA then?
"Why are you here then?" He voices out his thoughts.
Her smile turns warmer.
"I'm here for you, actually."
He is so surprised by her answer he doesn't even blink this time. He can only stare at her, eyes grow wide in bafflement but her expression doesn't change even a single bit.
"Why?" He can only ask in a quieter voice than usual.
"I just want to," she nonchalantly answers with a light shrug. That doesn't ease his confusion the slightest bit. "Can I call you Aizawa?" she suddenly asks out of nowhere, as if the previous conversation didn't occur.
This time, he does blink. She has an expected look on her face, waiting for his answer.
Well, he's not really up for formality.
"I don't mind."
Her eyes light up and a wide smile, the smile, blooms on her lips.
"You can call me Usagiyama then."
"Hm."
"Can I move up to Shouta instead?"
"Too soon, Usagiyama."
The smile stays.
"Of course, Aizawa."
She stops speaking and opts to stare up at him. He maintains eye contact with her. Her smile widens just a tad, enough that the creases at the corners of her eyes become more pronounced.
"Anything else for you to be here?" He breaks the short silence.
"No, and I guess you have a bunch of brats to supervise. See ya, Eraserhead. Or… Aizawa."
Her smile widens even more when she says his name. Then, she turns around and heads for the door. He watches her walk away, frowning, until she disappears.
He thinks back of her smiles. He thinks back to when she smiled around other Heroes. He thinks back to when she smiled at him. He thinks back to her reaction when she first saw. He thinks back to how lively she was with him. He thinks back to how happy she looked just by a doll.
There is something about the way she looks at him that doesn't feel good in his chest.
It's very foreign.
So he takes out his phone and texts to the only person he can honestly open up to without hesitation.
.
The room is quiet, intentionally so.
Neither of them are talking.
He is just delaying.
The other person is patiently waiting.
He stares down at the cup of tea in his hands, slowly cooling down from the passing time. It was served to him more than ten minutes ago and he has yet to take a sip out of it.
He has yet to drink it.
He doesn't drink tea often. In fact, it's only at this time where he does consume such beverages.
"For you to contact me first is a rare occurrence," the other person finally speaks up after the stretched silence. He doesn't look up at being addressed. "When it does happen, it is not a light matter."
"Hm."
He's correct; he doesn't reach out often. He could be bleeding profusely in an alleyway at midnight but he would rather walk himself home rather than calling someone to take him to the hospital. Hizashi told him that he is going gray, stressing over him.
So he reached out, this time.
"Does it involve Miruko?"
He hears the sound of china clinking, on the opposite side of the low table in front of him. He continues to look at the tea at hand.
"…Yeah."
Of course he knows. He always knows.
"What did she mention that was enough to send you here?"
He releases a deep sigh before finally taking a small sip of the tea after arriving here.
"It's not just what she said," he starts unsurely, hesitantly, slowly. "It's everything that she has said and done since the very first time we met at the Gala not too long ago."
The memories of the Gala floods into his mind. Initially about how he was pretty much deserted by everyone he trusts, now the memories are all about Miruko, her red eyes, and her smile.
Should he start calling her Usagiyama now?
"She… listened to me, paid all of her attention to me, when I spoke. She never looked away, not even once. She even ignored everyone. And she had a smile, one I have never seen she wore on the big screen, or anywhere in general. It's only when I'm with her when she has that smile."
He takes another sip of his tea because his throat is getting dry just talking about it. It just shows how uncomfortable he is.
"We ran into each other last Sunday. She was happy to see me, even if it was a coincidence. We only walked around the store buying our own stuff yet she looked like she had the best time of her life. And she looked distraught that we had to part."
He can still remember hearing her telling him how she had fun that day.
"I did the barest thing yet she looks at me like I am a crowned prince."
Her smile, radiant, illuminated by the sunset, is still clear in his mind.
"Even today, she came here… for me."
Every time he closes his eyes for more than ten seconds, her red eyes, glittered, curved, happy, excited, appear in his mind.
He shifts in his seat.
Saying it all out loud, acknowledging them instead of pretending to be confused by her actions, by her, makes his skin crawl uncomfortably.
"It seems she is attracted to you, Shouta."
His head snaps up, frowning, almost glaring at the only other occupant in the office.
"What is there to be attracted to?" he asks challengingly.
"Shouta."
"Don't use that tone on me."
"Shouta, please."
"I'm not a child anymore."
Da- Nedzu releases a deep sigh.
"Yet you cling to such a childish thought," Nedzu expertly retorts as the cup and saucer lower to his lap. "You are deserving of affection, Shouta."
"Not to a flawed man like me," he mutters dryly, looking away from his boss. His appetite has disappeared and puts his cup back on the table. The liquid sloshes around in the cup from his a little rough handling. This gives him reason to lean forward, putting his elbows on his knees.
"Everyone has flaws, Shouta," Nedzu starts again. He puts his own tea on the table, its content mostly empty compared to his almost full. "And more often than not, it is their flaws that make them deserving of love. We love you, Shouta. Hizashi, Nemuri and I, we love you deeply. Perhaps add Fatgum into the mix as well. So why couldn't she?"
"Because she's different."
He looks back up at Nedzu, giving him a hard look.
Nedzu doesn't change his expression, never has since he first entered his office. He sits completely still on his couch, waiting patiently, always listening for him.
He is always eternally thankful at Nedzu's patience when it comes to him.
"Hizashi is my best friend, one I can comfortably call my brother. Nemuri is my half-sister. You're my-" he chokes up and his cheeks reddens, abruptly breaking eye contact.
He is still too embarrassed to admit it out loud.
He takes a few deep breaths to regain his confidence to look back up and into Nedzu's eyes.
"All of you are familial love," he starts again, but he can feel his voice grow hesitant again. "But her… the way she looks at me is completely different from the way anyone looks at me, ever."
"What makes you unbothered by that?"
What makes him unbothered by that?
His mind wanders back to their first time meeting in person, how she looked so stunned at seeing him, before a smile, a smile only meant for him, bloomed on her face.
His mind wanders back to their departure back on Sunday last week, how she expressed she really enjoyed being with him, how she wanted to be with him longer, and how saddened she looked when they parted.
His mind wanders back to this morning, how she came to UA just to see him.
He shifts in his seat again.
He finds it a little unsettling how easily he can remember those moments.
" …When she looks at me, she looks at me and nothing else. It makes me feel like… like… I don't know…"
He's lost for words.
He doesn't know.
He just doesn't know his feelings, what he should feel, how he should react.
"I just… don't like how she zeroes in on me and never looks at anything else. I am bothered by that. I am not worthy of such attention."
His voice gets quieter and quieter. His posture hunches even more so, head lowers further. He runs his fingers through his hair and grips it.
"For an attention like hers, I need to have something to give or else the one-sided is wrong. I have nothing to give. Yet she gave me hers."
"This is your first experience in romantic love."
He finds himself snorting mirthlessly at the sentence.
"Yeah, it seems so."
Love…
What the fuck is that thing?
"Such a childish thing to work up over for," he whispers to himself.
He suddenly feels something soft on top of his head.
"It is no childish thing, Shouta," Nedzu says in a soft tone, voice much closer, right in front of him. "It is never too late to learn and discover."
"I know," he can only whisper now, no need to project his voice out loud now. "It's just that… she is a completely unknown adversary, one that makes me question my understanding on… anything, everything… myself."
"I can assure it is a benign change."
"I guess I haven't grown up, huh? Still a fucking kid who knows jackshit, who still needs his… teacher to guide him."
"You are always my child, no matter how old you are, Son. And I will always be here with you."
Remember the extra tissues from Christmas?
Now's the best time to use them, yes?