Disclaimer: We own nothing.

A/N : Yes, more OOCness. It is, after all, a parody.

Part Two: A Special Kitty

Note: Yes we know, there are no cats in Star Wars. But this is what would happen if there were. This story was inspired by a bag of kitty litter. -

"Yes Master Jinn, we will get that squeaky door looked into right away." Mace reassured Qui-Gon for the umpteenth time.

"Thank you very much." Qui-Gon bowed and left.

Obi-Wan had not been allowed to accompany Qui-Gon on his visit to the Jedi Council. After what had happened last time. Obi-Wan was grounded.

"That Qui-Gon." Shaak sighed, "Such a pain. I want to hurt him."

"Thinking like a Jedi you are not, Shaak Ti." Yoda said.

"Yeah. A Jedi would want to kill him." Mace added.

Yoda rolled his eyes.

"Meow." Came a sound from somewhere in the room.

Everyone turned to stare at Oppo Ransis.

"What?" Oppo asked.

"Did you meow?" Depa asked.

"No." Oppo replied.

"Meow."

The Jedi Masters drew their lightsabers and jumped up.

"What is that?" Adi wanted to know.

"And where did it come from?" Yarael questioned.

Everyone then noticed that Mace had not stood up or drawn his lightsaber.

"Master Windu know anything about this noise do you?" Yoda inquired.

"No." Mace blushed.

"MEOW!" It was louder now.

Depa's eyes widen with terror as she saw something moving under Mace's robe.

"Oh my word…" She stammered.

"What is it, Depa?" Plo asked.

Depa pointed at Mace. Sure enough some sort of creature was crawling around inside his robe. (My gosh this sounds wrong…)

"What are you hiding, Windu?" Oppo demanded.

"Nothing." Mace blushed again.

"MEEEOOOOOW!" At that minute the head of a white fluffy cat popped out of Mace's collar.

Pure chaos erupted. Lightsabers were flying and crashing was heard throughout the temple.

A young Padawan was walking by the council room.

"WTF?" He said.

A Jedi Master who was walking by slapped him in the back of the head, "Watch your mouth, kid."

The master walked on. The padawan listened in horror to sounds behind the door.

"Oh no." He said, "The temple is under attack. I have to sound the Dark Side alarm!" (The Dark Side alarm is only to be used if the temple is getting invaded by Sith. If only someone had thought to set off the alarm during Revenge of the Sith...)

He ran off.

"Kill it!" Shaak yelled as she attempted to slice the white cat in half.

Mace began squealing like a little girl, "Stop!"

Everyone stared, having never heard Mace make such a noise before.

"Master Windu? Ill are you?" Yoda demanded, "Swallow a Boga?"

"No! Don't kill my Moonbeam!" Mace shouted.

"Moonbeam?" Ki-Adi-Mundi asked.

"Yeah." Mace sighed, "My cat Moonbeam. My baby. My precious. My padawan."

"Training a cat you are?" Yoda asked.

"How good is he at building lightsabers?" Shaak asked.

Everyone laughed.

"Moonbeam is a very special kitty." Mace told them.

The laughter got louder. By now a large group of curious Jedi had gathered outside of the council chambers and were listening intently.

"What makes it so fabulous?" Ki-Adi-Mundi demanded.

"He's just special." Mace cuddled the white cat, "And I'm going to be leaving on a mission in a few days and you all are going to have to take care of my special kitty."

"Do you always carry that thing under your robe?" Yarael asked.

"Yes I do Poof." Mace snapped, "Now shut up before I slice your head off."

"I'll just grow a new one." Yarael snorted.

Yes. Yarael Poof had the ability to regenerate his head. He had to develop this ability. Why? Because an angry council member (usually female) chopped his head off every other day.

"What must we do to take care of this animal?" Adi asked.

"Moonbeam is not an animal!" Mace screamed, "Moonbeam is a very special kitty."

Adi sighed, "What do we have to do to take care of this special kitty."

"Feed him three times a day. Bathe him every other day. Make sure someone is with him at all times. Play womprat on a string with him every two hours. Hold him at least five hours each day. Groom him every three hours or so. Sing him to sleep each night. And tell him how special he is every five minutes or so." Mace replied.

"Sorry I asked." Adi muttered.

"How long will you be gone?" Plo wanted to know.

"A week." Mace said, "And I expect Moonbeam to be in tip top shape when I return."

Oh please, Mace. Look who you're leaving him with!

"Okay…" Ki-Adi-Mundi said, "Let's go home for the day."

The council members left the chambers. Upon exiting they noticed the large group of spectators they had attracted.

"Got a problem?" Mace demanded.

The group quickly dispersed. The council members headed for their quarters. Eeth Koth had been running late that day after getting a speeding ticket from the hall monitor in the lobby of the Jedi temple. There was a sign in the lobby with a picture of Yoda on it that said, "Run not, walk you must." Eeth had ran. And spent four hours in a detention center with naughty little younglings and Obi-Wan who Qui-Gon had dropped off there. Eeth was then forced to write a three page apology to the Jedi Council, in other words to himself. And write a six page paper explaining why he was running in the first place.

And now Eeth had finally made it to the council chamber.

"What's going on?" Eeth asked himself, "Where is everyone?"

The chairs in the chamber had been knocked over and there were lightsaber burns in the walls. At that minute a siren went off.

"The Dark Side alarm!" Eeth shouted, "We're under attack!"

He drew his lightsaber and heroically ran down the hall and got another speeding ticket from a different hall monitor.

Mace left two days later. He dropped Moonbeam off with Shaak before he left.

"Thanks Mace," said Shaak. "I'm deathly allergic to cat fur." She went into a sneezing fit.

The day went on normally with ten people taking care of Moonbeam. It really wasn't that much of a pain for awhile.

Yoda was actually getting attached to Moonbeam. "A very special kitty you are, yes… Loves you Yoda does, yes…"
"Yoda, you're scaring the younglings," Ki-Adi-Mundi muttered.

A group of younglings was putting on a circus for the council. They had stopped juggling their lightsabers and were staring at Yoda.

"Come on, children. Let's go bake some cupcakes," Adi led the children out of the chamber.

Moonbeam jumped out of Yoda's lap and followed Adi.

"No! No, no, no," said Yoda. "Stay with Uncle Yoda, you will."

Moonbeam continued to follow Adi.

"Poodoo," Yoda said.

After staring at Yoda for three hours, the council continued with their council business. Adi and the younglings went to the kitchen. "Okay," said Adi, "I'm not a very good cook, but you children needed to get out of there before you were scarred for life. So, you all can just do whatever you want."

The younglings proceeded to destroy the kitchen. A small group of younglings mixed red and blue food coloring in a bowl.

"Look! It makes purple!" one youngling cried. "Let's dunk the cat in it!"

"It will match Master Windu's lightsaber!" Another one shouted.

They grabbed the cat by the tail.

"MEEEEEOOOOWWWW!" Moonbeam objected.

They dipped the cat in the purple mixture.

"Children, what are you doing?" Adi demanded. She had been busy cleaning up broken glass from another mess another group of younglings had made.

"Look, Master Gallia! It matches Master Windu's lightsaber!" one of the younglings held up the soggy violet kitty.

"Yes, children, it does. Now go find your Masters, so I can give the kitty a bath," Adi said. And then under her breath, she muttered, "So it won't permenantly stain the kitty, and Master Windu will not slice my head off. Because, unlike Poof, I cannot grow another one."

"Okay, Master Gallia," the children all rushed off.

Adi bathed the cat five times, but the purple would not come out. She finally told the other members of the council what had happened.

"What?" Yoda said. "Let this happen to precious Moonboom, you did?" He accused, jabbing Adi with his gimmerstick.

"It was an accident. The younglings did it!" Adi whined.

"Well, we need to do something." Ki-Adi-Mundi said.

"Let's shave the cat," Plo suggested. "Perhaps his hair will grow back before Master Windu returns."

So they shaved the cat. But a week later, it was still bald.

"What do we do now?" Depa wondered.

"I don't know," Shaak Ti said, and sneezed.

"I have an idea." Said Ki-Adi-Mundi. "COFFEE BREAK!"

The council all ran out.

"Now what?" Depa asked.

"Watch this." Ki-Adi-Mundi pulled a sleeping pill out of his robe, crushed it up, and put in a cup of coffee. "Now we gave this to Oppo, and while he's unconscious we'll shave his fur and glue it on the cat."

"Okay. Here Oppo, thirsty?" Shaak asked.

"Yes, thank you." Clueless Oppo took the cup. He drank all the coffee, and three seconds later, fell to the floor.

Yoda pulled a razor out of his robe, and grinned. "Shaving time it is, yes." He then proceeded to shave off Oppo's fur.

Yarael pulled superglue out of his robe and squirted it all over Moonbeam. They then stuck the fur all over the cat. And it was soon hard to tell, that the cat had ever been purple. Or bald.

Mace finally returned. He was thrilled to see Moonbeam intact. "Oppo, why are you bald?"

"I wanted to look more like you," Oppo grumbled.

"Whatever," Mace picked up Moonbeam and cuddled it. "You're such a special kitty." Mace tried to put Moonbeam down, but was unable to because the cat was stuck to his face. "What happened? What's going on?"

"Meow," Moonbeam agreed.

The members turned red as Shaak Ti, she just stayed red though.

"Your cat's just very happy to see you," Plo said. "It doesn't want you to leave again."

"So, he glued himself to my face?" Mace questioned.

"Yes. Loves you, he does. Miss you, he did." Yoda said.

"Oh, okay," Mace grinned and left the chamber.

…But whatever happened to Eeth Koth?

Well after spending another five hours in detention, he took it upon himself to save the temple from its invaders. He went down to the boiler room and got in a lightsaber duel with what he thought was a Sith lord but turned out to be the water heater and it exploded (which Qui-Gon will complain about later). Aayla Secura found him and rushed him to the healers.

Tune in next week for

Part Three: DDR

and later

Part Four: Ki-Adi-Mundi's Dark Deeds!