Disclaimer: We don't own any recognizable characters, places, or products.
Author's Note: Okay, this is the remainder of part 6, so I'm sorry for that, first off. This is, however, the elusive part 3. Within the week, I will move it to its correct place, and post the second part of part 6. Second, thanks to KyCanary, JackFan7, K9 the First, Karen Rhine, Jade Skywalker, Doreen, and mikigm31 for reviewing.You all rock!
Part 3: DDR
"So you see Masters, Jedi robes are too revealing." Qui-Gon Jinn said, "I am afraid that if I allow young Obi-Wan to leave our quarters dressed like that, he will be…well…"
"Raped?" Mace filled in the blank.
"Yes." Qui-Gon replied, "I've seen the way those female padawans look at him. It makes me nervous."
"They won't hurt him…too badly." Shaak said.
"You masters do not care about Obi-Wan's wellbeing!" Qui-Gon shouted.
"We do. You don't. You're always sending him to the detention center with scary people who WILL rape him." Ki-Adi-Mundi retorted.
"Fine. I shall start forcing Obi-Wan to dress more conservatively." Qui-Gon replied.
"How can it get more conservative than a Jedi robe?" Plo asked.
"I'm going to make him wear a ski mask so no one will know who he is." Qui-Gon explained.
"Well now we know who is. He's the Jedi with a ski mask on!" Adi yelled.
"I'll think of something. I just wish you masters would help me." Qui-Gon said.
He bowed and left.
"I hate Qui-Gon." Depa said, evilly.
"Depa's a Sith! Depa's a Sith!" Shaak teased.
"Hate Qui-Gon you can and not be a Sith." Yoda explained.
"Poor Obi-Wan." Adi sighed, "We really do need to get him a new master."
"Whatever." Mace said, "Now the next order of business, getting the mail."
The master all stood up and started dancing.
"Here's the mail it never fails it makes me want to wag my tail when it comes I wanna wail MAIL!" They all sang, prancing out of the chamber.
Hey these people spend all day sitting in a room listening to Jedi masters (mostly Qui-Gon) gripe. The mail is their only joy in the universe. They all made their way out to the mailbox. There was a large box sitting beside it.
"What?" Yoda asked, "What is this?"
"It's from some company called…Konami." Yarael read off the box.
"Hmm. Never heard of it." Adi said, "I wonder if it's near Komino."
"Let's see what it is." Yaddle suggested.
Mace attempted to lift the box. But it was really heavy. It took the efforts of Mace, Plo, and Ki-Adi-Mundi to lift the box.
"Weaklings." Shaak muttered.
They took the box inside of the temple and placed it in the council chamber. Plo took a box cutter out of his robe and cut the box open. Inside was a square board with four arrows on it. Two pink ones and two blue ones.
"What is it?" Depa wondered.
"Here are the instructions." Mace picked up a piece of paper, "It says we need to plug it into a TV."
Shaak ran down to the temple library and checked out a big screen TV. She stuffed it in her robe and ran back to the chamber. They plugged the board into the TV.
A little man appeared on the screen, "Hello. This is Dance Dance Revolution. Enjoy."
"What do we do?" Mace asked the TV.
"Dance." It replied, "Follow the arrows."
"But they're all pointing in different directions." Adi looked at the board.
The TV sighed, "Just look at the screen and arrows will appear and when the arrows appear, you step on the appropriate arrow. Do you understand?"
"Why do we step on the arrows?" Plo wanted to know.
"To dance." The TV replied, getting very frustrated.
"What does it do if we dance well?" Eeth wondered.
"It gives you a good score." The TV rolled its eyes.
"You mean it doesn't give us a cookie?" Yarael asked.
"No." The TV sighed, angrily.
"What does it do if we dance poorly?" Yaddle wanted to know.
"It self destructs!" The TV snorted.
"Oh no!" Mace said, "Maybe we shouldn't play it."
"Let's get rid of it." Shaak said, "It's evil."
The Jedi walked towards the board and were about to pick it up when suddenly, Eeth Koth accidentally stepped on a pink arrow. The TV started playing music and arrows started appearing on it.
"What did I do?" Eeth wanted to know.
"You stepped on it you idiot! You better dance well or we're all gonna blow up!" Adi yelled.
Eeth jumped on the board and did his best to step on the appropriate arrows. Slowly the music sped up as did the arrows and Eeth was forced to dance faster and faster.
"I can't dance much longer…" He said.
"I'll take over." Mace said.
"On three we'll switch places, one, two three." As Mace said three Eeth leapt off the board and he jumped on.
Mace did very well keeping up with the arrows. He's got rhythm you know…
"I used to break dance." Mace replied, "I once won a break dancing contest."
"I did ballet." Shaak said, "I'll take over when you get tired."
"Thanks. But I never get tired of dancing." Mace replied.
Three hours later…"This is the song that doesn't end…" Mace sang, slowly, "Gonna collapse from exhaustion…gonna die…gonna blow up…"
"Mace I said I'd take over." Shaak reminded him.
"Yes…take over…please…" Mace begged.
"No. I don't want to anymore." Shaak folded her arms.
"Dance I will." Yoda said.
"Thanks…" Mace and Yoda switched places in the blink of an eye.
Yoda got his groove on. Yoda busted a move. Yoda can boogie! Yoda rocks the face!
"Master Yoda. I never knew you were such a gifted dancer." Adi said.
"My master made me take dance lessons when I was learning how to use my lightsaber." Yoda explained.
Five hours later…"Dance more I cannot…" Yoda stammered.
"We're gonna die. Let's just accept it." Plo suggested.
"Yeah." The others agreed.
"Okay." Yoda jumped off the board.
The members of the council stood there waiting for the TV to self destruct and for them to die in a fiery explosion. The TV made a happy little sound. It did not blow up. The words "High Score!" appeared on the screen.
"We're alive…" Depa stammered.
"Crap." Yarael sighed, "If we were dead we wouldn't have to listen to Qui-Gon."
"A fun game this is." Yoda said.
"We could use this as a training tool. Jedi could keep their eyes closed and try to sense what the screen is showing." Mace suggested.
An hour later, the board and the TV were set up in the temple lobby. Jedi were lined up everywhere, waiting for their turns.
"A big success this is." Yoda said.
"Yeah. We should charge money." Mace suggested.
The Jedi were all dancing very well…until…Qui-Gon forced Obi-Wan to try it. Obi-Wan's new clothes cover everything, head, hands, face, hair, eyes, and of course the rest of his body. No skin on Obi-Wan's wonderful body was visible. How very sad.
"Now, try it Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon said.
"Master, these robes are so thick, I can't move." Obi-Wan said.
"Nonsense." Qui-Gon said, "Try it."
Qui-Gon shoved Obi-Wan onto the board. Obi-Wan could barely move in his new clothes and that caused him to step on the wrong arrows. The TV suddenly started making an alarm sound.
"This TV will self-destruct in twenty seconds." The TV said. There was a booing crowd noise in the background.
Panic erupted. Jedi were running everywhere.
"Everyone evacuate! Little green guys first!" Yoda yelled.
"And little green girls too!" Yaddle added.
All of the Jedi made it outside…except poor Obi-Wan. He couldn't see therefore he didn't know what was going on.
"Five, four, three, two, one." The TV said.
All the Jedi outside stood there, waiting for the temple to explode.
"Just kidding." The TV laughed.
The only problem was, Obi-Wan was the only Jedi in the temple and was the only person who could hear the TV.
"Oh. The building isn't going to explode. That's good." Obi-Wan said, "I better go outside and tell everyone."
Obi-Wan attempted to walk outside but since he couldn't see where he was going, he accidentally walked into a broom closet and somehow managed to lock himself inside. So all of the Jedi were standing outside of the temple waiting for it to blow up. Finally, a bomb squad showed up and after telling the Jedi they were idiots, informed everyone that the temple was NOT going to blow up. However they failed to let Obi-Wan out of the broom closet.
The council sent the DDR board back to where it came from. It turns out the only reason they got it in the first place was because a drunken mailman delivered it to the wrong place. If he had had any idea how much trouble he was going to cause I'm sure he would have never gotten drunk.
So the moral of this story is: Don't drink and deliver mail.
THE END
Tune in next week for
Part 4: Ki-Adi-Mundi's Dark Deeds