Disclaimer: We don't own any recognizable names, products, or ideas. We do own Duck Duck Yoda.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed to tell us that they've enjoyed the story, or to offer ideas. You have no idea how much those mean to us. smiles I hope you enjoy reading the coming chapters as much as we enjoy writing them.

Part 7: When Good Blenders Go Bad

Four months after part 6…

"So you see Masters, that squeaky floorboard in the temple library is most distracting when I try to read." Qui-Gon Jinn complained.

"Qui-Gon, you just got back from Hoth yesterday and you're already complaining!" Adi pointed out.

"Nice observation Master Gallia." Mace rolled his eyes.

"Complain so much you should not Master Jinn. Send you back to Hoth we can." Yoda said.

"Hoth wasn't that bad. There was little to complain about. Except for the cold of course. But there certainly weren't any squeaky floorboards!" Qui-Gon snipped.

"Alright, Jinn. We'll get on that right away." Mace said, "Now leave."

"I hope you get on it right away! A library is supposed to be a quiet place where one can sit and read in peace." Qui-Gon said.

Shaak Ti sighed, "Qui-Gon. Will you do us all a favor and…"

"Um…stay out of the library until we get the board fixed?" Depa interrupted Shaak. She knew all too well that Shaak was going to ask Qui-Gon to shoot himself.

"Thank you Masters. I shall do my best to keep out of the library. But I cannot survive very long without reading "Jedi Master Guidelines"." Qui-Gon explained.

"You read "Jedi Master Guidelines"?" Ki-Adi-Mundi asked, "That five hundred volume series of rules written by thousands of Jedi over the last nine hundred years? Those books are SOO boring!"

"Each one of them is like fifty thousand pages long! And every time you think you've read all of them, they release a new edition!" Plo screamed.

"Yes. Those books. I am currently on the third volume." Qui-Gon announced, "And I must say they are very informative."

"Yeah right." Adi sighed, "The third volume was written eight hundred years ago. Half the stuff in there is totally outdated. They didn't even have lightsabers back then!"

"Discuss boring literature later we will. For now, leave Qui-Gon." Yoda commanded.

"Thank you. Goodbye." Qui-Gon turned to leave but then turned back to the council, "Have any of you seen Obi-Wan lately? I thought you all said he was staying with Master Hazza."

"He is." Adi said.

"No he is not! I went to Master Hazza's quarters this morning to collect my apprentice. But Hazza said he hasn't seen Obi-Wan in four months." Qui-Gon said, "What if he's been kidnapped!"

"We'll find him. If he's half as smart as I think he is, he's left the planet in order to escape you. Now leave." Mace ordered.

Qui-Gon stormed out.

"I wonder where Obi-Wan is." Saesee wondered.

"Like I said, he left the planet." Mace said, not telling everyone he was the one who bought Obi-Wan a ticket on a shuttle to Xorex.

"Now for the next order of business, who wants a smoothie!" Yaddle shouted.

All hands went up. Except for Oppo Ransis.

"Something wrong, Oppo?" Yarael asked.

"I do not want a smoothie. They bring back bad memories." Oppo explained.

"Like what?" Shaak wanted to know.

"Well a few years ago, I worked out everyday. And every morning I would make an energy drink in my blender." Oppo said, "And one day, one day, one sunny day…"

"Is this going to go anywhere anytime soon?" Eeth wanted to know.

"One day, I got my beard caught in the blade of the blender." Oppo said.

Everyone stared at him.

"How in the name of all that stays crunchy even in milk did you manage to do that?" Mace wanted to know. (Mace loves his cereal! Honey Bunches Of Oats!)

"Well I was leaning over the blender reaching for a banana and my beard got caught. Well I thought maybe if I turned on the blender, the blades would release my hair." Oppo explained.

"And why in the name of all the silly rabbits who cannot have Trix because they are for kids did you think that?" Mace wanted to know. (Mace loves cereal! Honey Bunches Of Oats With PEACHES!)

"I don't know. I was young and foolish at the time." Oppo sighed, "It was over one hundred years ago."

"You should try to drink a smoothie. The only way to get over your fear of blenders is to face a blender." Shaak explained.

"That's very wise Shaak. I'll hafta submit that one to "Jedi Master Guidelines"." Plo rolled his eyes.

"Alright. I'll try a smoothie. But leave out the bananas I do not want you to get hurt." Oppo said.

"Who said I was making the smoothies?" Shaak demanded, "You need to face the blender. Go one on one with the blender. Become the blender!"

"You want me to make loud noises and grind up fruits?" Oppo asked.

"That's exactly what you need to do! If you think like a blender, the blender cannot hurt you." Shaak said.

"Okay…" Yarael said, "Shaak why don't you go lie down for a while. I think that six hundred pound crate falling on your head in the storage closet may have done some damage after all."

"Yeah. Maybe you're right. Or maybe I just wanted to see if Oppo would actually start acting like a blender." Shaak walked out of the chamber.

"Come on Oppo, I'll make the smoothies and you can help." Depa said.

"Alright." Oppo followed Depa into the kitchen.

"What in the name of snap crackle and pop do they expect us to do while we wait?" Mace asked.

"Play duck, duck, Yoda!" Plo shouted.

"I'm it!" Yoda said.

The Jedi all sat down in a circle and Yoda walked around, hitting them all in the head with his Gimmer stick.

"Duck, duck, duck you are, duck, duck yes mmm, duck." Yoda said.

Mace quickly grew bored so he left the chamber to go to the library to checkout the squeaky floorboard.

In the kitchen, Depa and Oppo had gathered up all the necessary stuff they needed to make smoothies. Strawberries, raspberries, orange juice, etc.

"Okay. All we have to do is toss them in a blender with some ice and blend them up and then we have smoothies!" Depa explained, "Yay!"

"Alright…" Just being in the same room as the blender made Oppo feel uncomfortable.

"Do you want to push the button?" Depa asked in her best kindergarten teacher voice.

"Sure." Oppo looked at the blender. There were at least thirty different buttons, "Which one should a push?"

"The one that says "mix"." Depa replied.

"Alright." Oppo reached out to press the button when all of the sudden the phone rang! Oppo was so startled his finger missed the "mix" button and hit the "attack" button!

The blender turned its blades really fast until it lifted off of the counter like a helicopter! It's motor made a loud, ear-shattering grinding noise as is floated in the air.

"Look what you did!" Depa yelled.

"It wasn't my fault, the phone rang!" Oppo shouted.

Back in the chamber, Yoda answered the ringing phone. (There's a phone in the chamber and the kitchen. Yeah. In case you couldn't tell that. Honey Bunches Of Oats With Bananas!)

"Hello. Yoda this is." Yoda said, "Yes Qui-Gon we're looking for Obi-Wan." Yoda looked over at the other members of the council who were now playing an intense game of Red Rover, "Yes. Looking very hard we are. Find him we will. Goodbye."

Back in the kitchen, the blender was now flying towards Oppo and Depa.

"Prepare to die." A robotical voice came from the possessed appliance.

The blender released its pitcher and sent it sailing towards the two terrified Jedi. The glass pitcher shattered all over the wall. Depa and Oppo used their robes to shield themselves from the flying shards of glass.

"Come on." Oppo grabbed Depa by the arm and dragged her over to another side of the kitchen.

The two of them dove inside a large cabinet and closed the door. The blender floated around the room.

"Darn it. Where did they go?" The blender asked itself.

Slowly it flew around the kitchen checking under every table and inside every closet and cabinet. Soon, it was only three cabinets away from the one Depa and Oppo were in. The two Jedi could hear the sound the blender knocking various piece of cookware out of cabinets as it searched for them.

"This is scarier that that scene in Jurassic Park." Oppo whispered.

Suddenly, the lights went out. The blender was using so much power to fly around, that it blew the fuse that gave electricity to over half of the temple.

"Oh great." Depa whispered, "Now it's dark. Either that or my eyes are closed and I don't know it."

"No, it's really dark." Oppo said, "Now's our chance to get out of here."

Carefully he opened the door of the cabinet and crawled out, Depa not too far behind him. Suddenly, he saw a light in front of him. He stopped crawling.

"Oppo, is something wrong?" Depa wanted to know.

"I see a light." Oppo replied.

"Are you dying?" Depa asked, "Come on, it's a blender. There's no reason to be scared to death of it."

Suddenly, they both heard the horrific grinding of the blender's motor. Oppo realized that the light was moving towards them! He had forgotten that the blender had a battery back up system as well as an internal flashlight in case of power outages. (Cause you know, electricity or not, you can't live without your smoothies.)

Oppo and Depa stood up and ran out of the kitchen, slamming the door behind them. They could hear the sound of the blender on the other side, trying to ram the door down.

Back in the chamber, the phone was ringing once again. Plo answered it.

"Yes, Qui-Gon we know the power is off. Yoda and Yarael went down to fix it. It should be on very soon. Leave us alone. Have a nice life." Plo hung up and went back to where he and the other Jedi were playing flashlight tag.

Depa and Oppo were using all of their strength to keep the door closed. The emergency backup lights were on in the hallway. Depa spotted something.

"Oppo, can you hold the door closed by yourself for just three seconds?" Depa asked.

"Yes. Just hurry." Oppo said.

Depa moved away from the door and grabbed a mop from a nearby janitor's closet someone had left open. She slide the mop inside the handle of the door so there was no way it could be opened from the inside. Once sure that the mop would hold, Oppo moved away from the door. The two Jedi stood there for a moment, catching their breath.

Just when they thought they were safe, the heard the sound of wood being sawed through. The next thing they knew, the blender had used its blades to slice through the kitchen door and it was flying right at them. They both ran down the hall and smack into a hall monitor.

"No running in the halls!" The monitor yelled. He looked at Depa, "Hey, don't I know from somewhere. Aren't you that woman who I caught streaking?"

"No time to chat! Evil blender!" Depa shouted.

She and Oppo ran off.

"Hey! No running!" The monitor screamed.

Suddenly he heard the grinding sound of a motor. He looked around the corner Oppo and Depa had ran out of and saw a blender flying towards his face. He whipped out his lightsaber. As soon as the blender was close enough, he swung away and sliced it in half.

"I said no running!" The monitor shouted at the blender's corpse, "And I meant it!"

Oppo and Depa heard him yelling and hurried back over to him. They saw the blender carnage.

"You…you killed it." Depa said.

"It was running." The monitor replied.

"Well technically it was flying." Oppo pointed out, "But the point is you killed the evil blender and we are very grateful."

"Ding dong the blender's dead!" Depa sang and skipped around.

"Ma'am you're coming to the detention center." The monitor said.

"What for?" Depa asked.

The monitor pointed to a list of hallway rules hanging on the wall, "No skipping."

Oppo laughed as the monitor marched Depa down the detention center. Soon Yoda and Yarael fixed the lights.

The council returned to the chamber to discuss what had happened. After Oppo had explained everything, Yoda called Qui-Gon into the chamber.

"Master Jinn, you're going to Mustafar." He said.

"Whatever for!" Qui-Gon demanded.

"You called us to ask about Obi-Wan, causing Oppo to press the wrong button on the blender, causing the blender to attack and wreck havoc." Yoda explained, "It's all your fault the lights went out and it's all your fault that Depa and Oppo will need weeks of therapy as soon as Depa is released from the detention center. So pack your summer clothes, Mustafar is a bit on the warm side. See you in another four months."

Qui-Gon snorted and stormed out of the chamber.

But wait! What happened to Mace? He left the chamber, but where did he go?

Well he went to the library to check out the squeaky floorboard. Well the library is on the other side of the temple, so when the fuse blew, the power was still on in the library. And Mace decided that since he would get lost if he tried to go back to the chamber in the dark, he surfed the Internet for a while. Soon he stumbled upon a terrific video.

Two college-aged guys were lip-syncing to a song that went like this, "Milk and cereal. Milk and cereal. Milk and cereal. Cereal and milk."

Mace thought the video was so great he watched it over and over and over and over and over again. He spent three weeks in the library watching the video over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. (Maces LOVES cereal 4-Eva!)

You too can watch the Milk and Cereal video at

http / www . albinoblacksheep . com / flash /milk

(Just make sure you take out all the spaces!)

If this doesn't work, go to Google and type in "Milk and Cereal" and click on either the first or second option that comes up.

We highly recommend this video! It's fun!

Tune in next time for

Part 8:

Saesee Tiin: Matchmaker