Disclaimer: Not ours.

Author's Note: We finally have another chapter for you...But we're not allowed to post it here...for silly reasons. There's a link to the real chapter at the bottom of the page. The format is the council is watching the Star Wars Holiday Special and inserting sarcastic comments. So, go check it out...and go poke the pineapple!

The Jedi Council

Preparing for Jedi Theater 3000

Mace Windu sat down with a heaping bowl of popcorn.

"Hey! Are you people ready for this?" He asked the other council members.

"I sure am!" Adi cheered, "The Star Wars Holiday Special! This is going to be great!"

"Adi, are you high?" Eeth asked, "The movie got horrible reviews."

"Yeah. All of the actors in it deny that it even exists." Depa added.

"Prepared my favorite movie time treat I have." Yoda enter the room with a bucket full of Jell-O.

"Dang! That's a lot of Jell-O." Mace observed, "Why do you need all that Jell-O?"

"To cover the fish heads of course." Yoda replied.

Everyone gagged.

"What?" Yoda asked, "Fish heads covered in Jell-O are a tradition on my home planet."

"Yoda where exactly is your home planet?" Shaak wanted to know.

"I'd tell you but then have to kill you I would." Yoda replied.

"So what exactly is the plot of this movie?" Plo inquired, desperately wanting to change the subject.

Adi picked up the movie box and read the back of it, "Han Solo and Chewie rush home so Chewie can spend Life Day with his family. Aww. Chewie's family. I bet they're cute!"

"Life Day? What is that?" Eeth asked.

"Some Wookiee holiday." Mace shrugged.

"Who is Han Solo?" Depa wanted to know.

"Well, this movie takes place like forty years in the future. So I'm assuming Han Solo is a guy who hasn't even been born yet." Oppo explained.

"Woah! We're watching a movie starring people who don't even exist yet. That's creepy." Mace said.

"I don't know about you guys, but I think this movie should become a holiday tradition!" Adi cheered.

"Don't say that until we've watched it." Plo warned, "It might be painfully bad."
"I heard some padawans once dared each other to watch it. They were all completely speechless for like six months." Shaak recalled, "They wouldn't eat. They wouldn't sleep. They just sat there like statues."

"Freaky." Depa said.

"Oh come on guys!" Adi exclaimed, "I'm sure it's not that bad."

"We'll just have to watch it and find out." Yoda concluded, "Press play, Mace."

Mace was about to push the play button on the remote control, but suddenly his cellphone rang.

"Aww crap." Mace groaned, "Who could that be. As if I don't already know." He pushed a button on his cellphone, "What do you want, Jinn?"

"Masters, I think it is a little bit too early for there to be a Christmas tree in the temple lobby. It is only November 30th. I don't think the tree should be put up until December 23." Qui-Gon said on the other line.

"What's the point of having a tree up for three days?" Mace asked.

"Christmas is just too exciting for padawans. Obi-Wan wanted a Play Station last year and the second after you all put that tree up he started buttering me up." Qui-Gon complained, "Offering to do the dishes, mop the floors, and do extra homework."

"...So did you get him the Play Station?" Mace asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"Of course not! Video games are so violent these days. And I wanted to show him that a month of good behavior would not make up for the whole year of bad behavior."

"Bad behavior?" Mace smirked, "Does Obi-Wan rob banks in his spare time?"

"He would if I turned my back on him." Qui-Gon said.

"Obi-Wan is a great kid. You need to get him something special this Christmas." Mace said.

"I got him something special last year. Volume 73 of Jedi Master Guidelines." Qui-Gon replied.

"Oh dear marshmallow Lucky Charms!" Mace moaned, "Jedi Master Guidelines?"

"Yes. I'm sure he has put it to good use." Qui-Gon said.

"As a door stop? Or perhaps a paper weight?" Mace chuckled.

"If you must know, he used it to balance a desk in his room with uneven legs." Qui-Gon informed.

"Jinn, will you leave me alone? We're trying to watch a movie." Mace was growing sick of this conversation.

"Promise you will take down that tree and I will hang up." Qui-Gon said.

"Okay. I'll get right on that." Mace lied and hung up.

"Who was that?" Depa wanted to know.

"You know who it was." Mace replied, "And someone buy Obi-Wan Kenobi a Play Station for Christmas. I'm pretty sure the only thing his master is going to get him is Jedi Master Guidelines Volume 74."

All the Jedi groaned.

"Can we start the movie now?" Plo asked.

"Sure. Let's go!" Mace pressed play on the remote control.

...Meanwhile, in the lobby of the temple, Qui-Gon and a very unhappy Obi-Wan started taking apart the giant Christmas tree.

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