Disclaimer: Not ours.

Author's Note: Yes, yes. It has been a long time since we last updated. I'm not going to make any excuses for that, so here's the story:

Part 15: You Can Never Have Too Many Yodas!

(Part 14 will be continued at a later date since the Star Wars Holiday Special is extremely painful to watch.)

Okay, here we go!

One morning Yoda was taking a brisk jog around the temple. Then again, can Yoda really jog? Hmm…let's just say he was waddling around the temple really fast. He somehow made his way to the basement of the temple. There he found a box that said "warning" on the side of it. Naturally he opened it.

"What?" He asked himself, "What is this?"

It was an ancient cloning machine from Kamino. Wow! There was a sign taped to it that read: "Caution! Do not use this machine! Even if you are a short, green, pointy-eared, Jedi master". Yoda of course used the machine. Right before his eyes, five more Yodas appeared!

"Wow!" Yoda said, "Handsome bunch we are."

"Yes, mmm." The other Yodas agreed.

So Yoda and his clones exited the basement.

"Well, I'm going back to the council chambers, you guys have fun!" Yoda left.

The Yoda clones scattered themselves all over the building. Little did Yoda know it, but every hour each Yoda clone would break into another five Yoda clones.

Qui-Gon Jinn was trotting down the hallway, heading for, you guessed, the council chambers to place a complaint. On his way there he ran into a Yoda.

"Oh, good morning Master Yoda." Qui-Gon said.

"Hi." The Yoda said.

"I just thought I'd let you masters know there is a toilet in the washroom that will not stop running. That could cause the temple water bill to go up drastically next month." Qui-Gon told him.

"So?" The Yoda replied, "Care I do not. Party I want to."

"What?" Qui-Gon asked, "But master! You can't…"

"Up shut." The Yoda shouted, "Party I will! You screw!" (for the record, the Yoda clones are even WORSE with backwards talking than the original and with each generation of new Yoda clones, the backwards talking gets even WORSE!)

"WHAT?" Qui-Gon gasped, "I'm going to go report you to the other masters! Right now!"

"Fine. Give a crap I do not." The Yoda said, "Later I may see you. But I hope I don't!"

The Yoda clone marched away, leaving a dumbfounded Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon started to walk to the council chambers. But he ran into another Yoda clone.

"Hello Master Yoda…wait! Didn't you just take off down the hall?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Nope. Just got here." The Yoda clone replied, "Want a hotdog I do! Find one I shall!"

"But I thought you wanted to party." Qui-Gon said.

"Nope. Hotdog I want. You want one too?" The Yoda asked.

"No thank you. Hotdogs are made from processed meat. I do not eat anything processed." Qui-Gon said, snootily.

"Yeah, well process this." The Yoda gave Qui-Gon the finger. (for the record, the Yodas are much more obscene than the original. And with each generation of Yoda clone, they get more and more obscene.)

Qui-Gon fainted for a few minutes. The Yoda clone rushed off to find a hotdog stand. When Qui-Gon woke up, he ran into the council chambers.

"Masters! You won't believe what I just saw Master Yoda do!" Qui-Gon panted.

"What did I do?" Yoda asked.

"AAH!" Qui-Gon screamed, "You…were…how did…in the hall…you…"

"Can you form sentences please?" Mace asked.

Qui-Gon cleared his throat, "I just saw Master Yoda in the hall. First he said he wanted to party. Then he said he wanted a hotdog. Then he…" Qui-Gon paused, "Made an obscene gesture at me."

"What kind of gesture?" Adi asked, already knowing the answer.

"You know…he held up one finger." Qui-Gon answered.

"Which finger?" Adi wanted to know, once again already knowing the answer.

"You know…the middle one." Qui-Gon replied.

"I don't understand. Can you show me?" Adi asked, still playing stupid.

"NO! I will not!" Qui-Gon shouted.

"Darn. I thought I almost made Qui-Gon do something bad." Adi sighed.

"While you're here, Jinn." Mace said, "A certain former padawan of yours is really starting to get on my nerves. You want him back?"

Obi-Wan took advantage of the new privileges Mace had given him. He went out on the town one evening and got drunk.

"Why, yes. I suppose I do." Qui-Gon said.

"Oh dear." Yoda said.

"What?" Oppo asked.

"I think I know why Qui-Gon saw me in the hallway even though I was here." Yoda said, "I walked through a cloning machine this morning."

The other masters gasped.

"You mean the one in the basement with the warning stickers all over it?" Shaak questioned.

"Yes." Yoda replied.

"Why?" Ki-Adi-Mundi wanted to know, "It clearly says "do not use this" all over it!"

"I thought it would be fun." Yoda shrugged.

"Well what do you plan to do about these clones?" Qui-Gon wanted to know, "They are very vulgar and I do not want Obi-Wan to see any of them."

Little did Qui-Gon know, Obi-Wan was out doing Jell-O shots with about ten or so Yodas.

"We have to get rid of the clones before they start multiplying!" Mace said.

"But how?" Plo asked, "We can't kill them, that would be inhumane."

"But they're not human." Shaak reached for her lightsaber.

"Wait! Let's send them off to a distant planet where no one will ever find them." Depa suggested.

"Like…Dagobah!" Yoda shouted, "No one lives there. I was thinking about building a vacation home there. If we send the clones there, then I can be amoung my own kind."

"But they are OBSCENE!" Qui-Gon objected.

"Qui-Gon, why don't you go find Obi-Wan and lock him in his room until all of this is over?" Plo said.

"Alright. I will." Qui-Gon opened the chamber doors.

There stood twenty naked Yodas singing "Don't Cha". Qui-Gon fainted again.

When he woke up he said, "Masters, I would like to file a complaint about the number of vulgar Yodas running around this building!"

"No time for that! Come on!" Mace cheered, "Grab as many Yodas as you can, stuff them into an escape pod and shoot them off to Dagobah!"

"I ain't touching the naked ones!" Shaak coughed.

Mace got a butterfly net out of a nearby closet and scooped up the twenty naked Yodas.

"No. No no." The Yodas objected.

So the Jedi set off to find all of the Yodas. Three hours since Yoda got into the cloning machine, there were 1080 Yodas. An hour later there were 6480 Yodas. And an hour after that there were 38,880 Yodas! (We can do math good!)

"We'll never be able to find all of them." Depa said.

"It would almost be easy to move all of the non-Yodas off of Courscant and onto Dagobad and then just switching the names of the two planets." Adi agreed.

"You know…that might just be crazy enough to work." Mace rubbed his chin, thoughtfully.

So the Jedi started rounding up every single resident of Courscant. They loaded them all onto a bunch of starships and sent them off to Dagobah.

"Is that everyone?" Mace asked, as he helped three old ladies onto the final ship.

"Yeah, except for this guy I found trying to sell death sticks. He refused to leave." Ki-Adi-Mundi said.

"Forget him!" Mace answered, quickly.

"Did we get the real Yoda?" Depa wanted to know.

"Right here I am." Yoda replied.

"Can't I stay here with all the sexy men?" Yaddle asked, "Worship me they do!"

"Nope! Everyone is going!" Mace closed the door on the ship and they took off.

As the final ship left Courscant, the clones watched and said, "On, on, on. Won ohw lliw ew rethob?" (for the record, now the Yodas talk completely backwards! That sentence actually meant: No, no, no. Now who will we bother?)

So everyone from Courscant landed on Dagobah and instantly started rebuilding all of their structures. There was a new Jedi temple and everything! Mace paid a visit to the place where the official map of all known planets was kept. He switched the names of Courscant and Dagobah. Everything was back to normal.

…

…

…

"Obi-Wan! How could you have gone off and gotten drunk with those hooligans?" Qui-Gon demanded.

"It was fun, ma'am." Obi-Wan belched.

"Oh! Why I should go back to the council and see if Master Windu will take you back! I don't know what to do with you anymore!" Qui-Gon said.

"You love me and you hiccup know it!" Obi-Wan replied and started singing, "Oh my my this here Anakin guy, maybe Vader someday later now he's just a small fry…"

"Who is Anakin? What are you talking about?" Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan just went on singing.

…

…

…

"Hey Yoda, how are you today?" Mace asked Yoda as he poured himself a cup of coffee in the temple lounge.

"Enif dna uoy?" Yoda replied. (Fine and you?)

"What did you just say?" Mace started backing away from "Yoda".

"Tahw? Did I rettuts?" (What? Did I stutter?)

Mace ran off screaming, "GUYS! WE GOT THE WRONG YODA!"

…

…

…(lots of dots in this story)

Meanwhile, on Dagobah, Yoda and his clones were having a limbo contest. Will the concil ever find the REAL Yoda? Who knows!

THE END

Tune in...some time for:

...who knows?