Chapter 10

It was finally the day of Kaori's parents' funeral, and she wanted to leave already. The mood was solemn, and the new black clothes Kaori had to buy were too itchy around her neck. Aizawa and Yamada were by her side at the very least, offering the smallest amount of comfort; she was just glad she wasn't alone.

Aside from the three of them, there were a decent amount of people at the funeral, much to her surprise. She hadn't expected anyone to come, given how secluded her family had been, but apparently, their extended family was more numerous than she had thought. However, they were all strangers to her eyes, and she wasn't too sure what to make of it.

Kaori had to stand by the entrance and greet everyone on their way in. Yamada had told her it was mandatory for her to do. So, she stood, and listened to people she had never met give out condolences. Kaori had never actually seen something like this in real life, and her only reference was from movies she had seen. How was it that she had avoided dealing with loss for so long in her past life, only to have to deal with it at the age of four here?

Kaori tried her best to respond appropriately to the funeral-goers, but her limited Japanese vocabulary made it difficult. There were so many strangers, and she felt overwhelmed. She wanted to run and hide.

After giving Yamada several imploring looks, he reluctantly allowed her to go in and avoid further interactions. She hoped people wouldn't think she was being rude. Sitting down somewhere in the front rows, she tried not to look awkward and out of place.

A while later, the funeral started. Kaori had no idea what to do; she had no idea how Japanese funerals worked. Yamada coached her through it quietly, letting her know how to use the incense to pay her respects while a priest started to chant near the coffin. She couldn't help but feel immense guilt at not having looked into this earlier.

The funeral lasted a good while, but numb as she was, she lost track of the passage of time. It all felt like a blur, leaving her lost and disoriented.

Throughout the entire event, her tears refused to come, and her eyes felt drier than ever. The stares lingering on her felt judgmental, as if everyone thought she was a monster for not shedding a tear at her own parent's funeral. No matter what she did she couldn't will the tears to come, and that by itself, was sadder to her than everything else.

"Kaori-chan, do you know that person?" Yamada asked once the priest stopped chanting and the crowd had dispersed. Kaori followed Yamada's gaze to a small group of people at the side. Squinting, Kaori's eyes sifted through more people she didn't recognize until she saw someone familiar, too much so. It was her dad, somehow, or what could pass as a clone of him. It almost knocked the breath out of her to see her dad alive and breathing. Kaori staggered backward, her eyes glazing over and her heart racing, her previous blankness disappearing in an instant. How could this be?

"Kaori-chan?" Yamada shook her gently, a hint of concern in his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I-" She opened her mouth to respond, still utterly flabbergasted. Her heart fluttered with hope, which persisted despite her disbelief. Had her dad somehow survived? "W-who the fuck is that?"

Yamada shot her a look of surprise before frowning in disapproval. "Language! Where'd you learn to swear like that? You really shouldn't swear at a funeral, it's horribly impolite."

"I think I'm allowed to swear when I see this … doppelganger of my dad." Kaori crossed her arms and glared at Yamada. Despite logically knowing better, she couldn't help but hope; hope that her dad had a second quirk that let him come back to life. "Who is he?"

"He's your uncle Kaori-chan. We've been trying to get in contact with him, but he ignored all our calls. I thought maybe it was just a communication problem, but if you don't know him at all…"

Kaori felt the bitter swell of disappointment before red hot anger replaced it. She clenched her fists and glared hard at the man, furious that he would dare masquerade as her father. "Never seen him in my life," she spat bitterly. She had an uncle, and he didn't want her, huh? And neither did Yamada if they were trying to contact her family. "How come even you know who he is and I don't."

"Woah, sorry, I won't bring it up again," Yamada said, his eyebrows raised. "And we saw some pictures of him on your file."

Kaori sighed, her anger deflating like a balloon. "Never mind. Didn't mean to snap, sorry."

"We're good, no worries," Yamada said with a small smile. "I can see why it would be such a shock to you."

"I can't believe it," she said faintly. "My dad's never talked about him before. This is insane. What else do you know about him? Was there anything else in his file?"

"Nothing of note, sorry kiddo. Just that he's a few years older than you dad," he said.

Kaori nodded. "It's okay. I'm just confused I guess."

Briefly, she considered going up to him to give her a piece of her mind for coming to her dad's funeral when he wasn't even part of their lives, but talked herself out of it. She didn't want to make a scene.

The more she thought about the existence of her uncle, the more disbelieving she was. Surely, there was something major wrong with him. Her dad was a good person with nothing to hide. He would've told Kaori about her uncle if he was a normal person.

With one last scowl in the man's direction, Kaori stalked off to the side to be alone. The funeral was mostly over, and they were now putting flowers in the coffin before it was set to be cremated. Yamada didn't want Kaori to participate, and she was fine with it. She didn't want to see inside at all, even if it was the only chance she would have. It might be cowardly on her part, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. Instead, she watched from a distance, giving her final farewells silently.

And with that, the funeral was over. Kaori had been expected to feel closure of sorts, yet she only felt hollower than before. A note of finality hung in the air, and even though she had harbored no illusions before, something felt different. Kaori buried her face in her hands, wishing for the hollow feeling to go away.

Aizawa went over to talk with her uncle while Yamada stayed by her side. Kaori looked from afar as the conversation seemed to go awry. Aizawa looked annoyed, while her uncle looked calm. She wondered what they were talking about. Trying to convince him to take her, no doubt , she thought bitterly.

At one point, her uncle turned toward Kaori's direction, his dark eyes seemingly piercing through Kaori's very soul, almost hatefully. Despite the distance between them, Kaori stumbled backward. Then he smiled, his strange expression fading into an affable one, and he turned his gaze away from Kaori. Unconsciously, Kaori relaxed. Her overstressed mind must've been imagining it.

Turning away from him so that she didn't have to look at him anymore, she tried to erase him from her mind. She decided that it was better to not have any family members left if they were like him.

"You okay Kaori-chan?" Yamada asked.

Kaori only looked at him wordlessly, conveying through her expression that she was not okay, at all.

"Here," he said, clearly getting the message. Crouching down, he wrapped her in a hug. If it were any other day, she'd push him away, but she made an exception. The hug was warm and she leaned into it. It was now that her absent tears finally made an appearance, and she sobbed unrepentantly into his shoulder. It was cathartic to finally get it out; she wasn't a monster after all.

"It's going to be okay," he murmured. "It's gonna be okay." He didn't seem to mind the wet spot that was slowly increasing in radius on his fancy suit. Kaori didn't respond,

After a while, she pulled away. She wiped at her eyes.

"Better now?" Yamada asked.

"S-sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to cry for so long."

"You don't ever have to apologize for that," he said, placing his hand on her shoulder. "It has been a tough day for you, for all of us. But you'll pull through. I'm sure of it."

He looked so convinced that Kaori nodded. "Thank you," she said quietly.

They waited a while before Aizawa was ready to go. On the way home, they stopped for ice cream, which did little to cheer her up.

On the night of the funeral, Kaori couldn't sleep. She tried every technique in the book, from counting slowly backward from one hundred to doing some light stretches, but nothing helped. Giving up, she stared at the ceiling in defeat. There wasn't even the tiniest sliver of drowsiness in her wide-open eyes.

Despite lying in her bed for most of her days, tonight felt especially suffocating; as if the walls themselves were closing in on her, draining every bit of oxygen in the room. She could feel the events of the funeral weighing heavily on her mind, and she couldn't help but dwell on it endlessly.

Some fresh air might give her the change in perspective she needed, or simply take the edge off a little. For a second, she briefly considered raiding the pantry for some alcohol — her combined age was certainly over the legal drinking age — but refrained. She could only imagine how angry Aizawa would be if he found out.

Foiled again by her age , she thought resentfully. She felt like she deserved a drink.

Trying not to make too much noise as to wake the others in the house, Kaori carefully stepped outside the apartment. It was way too late to go outside — she didn't want to be caught up in yet another villain attack — so she decided to go check out the roof, a place she had been wanting to visit ever since Yamada mentioned it in passing.

The elevator was old and creaky, but she waited patiently for it to take her up to level fifteen. There was a set of stairs on floor fifteen waiting for her, which she climbed with some effort. Pushing open the heavy set of doors at the top of the stairs, she stepped out onto the roof.

Despite all the negativity in her life, Kaori still smiled up at the stars in greeting. They seemed to blink down at her, instilling a sense of peace and tranquility amidst all the chaos. She had always loved the openness of the night sky - like a blanket, enveloping the entire world and everyone in its cold embrace; a constant in everyone's lives.

Kaori pressed her forehead against the cool chain link fence, letting her eyes roam freely over the scene of the night. The lights of the city were memorizing, and she wondered about the story of each and every one of them. The lives of everyone were so detached and uninvolved with hers; yet from her point of view, so close. They looked so small in her eyes, so inconsequential, as if they could be extinguished at any moment and nobody would notice.

Kaori wondered if anyone else noticed her parents' lights going out. Or her own for that matter. She sat down and closed her eyes briefly. The wind blew across her face gently, tussling her hair and no doubt creating all sorts of knots in its wake. She couldn't care less at the moment. For now, she just wanted to forget everything; to start anew, leaving behind all the burdens on her shoulders. She scoffed slightly at the thought. If only.

It was easy to lose track of time under the sheer openness of the view; it was as if she had left the whole world behind, along with all her worries for the future. She wished she could freeze time and stay here forever. It was tranquil. The silence was comforting, a reprieve from the endlessly loud world and her mind.

She felt a light weight being flung over her — a large jacket. Glancing up with surprise, she found Aizawa looking down on her, the moonlight illuminating his pale face eerily. Kaori felt her heart skip a beat; was he going to get angry?

"Aizawa-san?" she said timidly.

"It's cold up here," he said gruffly. "It'd be annoying if you caught a cold."

"Well, I'm sorry for being such an inconvenience," she grumbled. "Thanks, but you didn't have to." She had to admit it was a bit cold up here. Ignoring her slightly wounded pride, she wrapped the jacket tightly around her. It was fluffy, and she could pick up a faint scent of cinnamon.

"What are you doing up here?" he asked, completely ignoring her remark.

"I'm just getting a breather," she said, feeling a little defensive. "It was getting a little stuffy."

"How did you know about the roof? I don't think we've ever brought you up here before.

"Yamada-san mentioned it before." Kaori shrugged. "How'd you know I was up here anyway?" she asked, crossing her arms. She was getting annoyed at the line of questioning.

"I was in the living room, watching you leave the apartment. You should work on your sneaking skills, by the way. I followed to make sure you don't accidentally get yourself killed." The dryness of his tone made Kaori wonder if he was being sarcastic - he almost always sounded mocking.

"You've been here the whole time?"

"Yes." He sat crossed-legged next to Kaori. She grumbled internally. There went her alone time, though she supposed she wasn't truly alone earlier. She hoped she hadn't done anything weird during the time she thought she was alone. She tended to do that a lot.

"Oh." Kaori wasn't sure how to respond. They stewed in silence for a little bit.

"Next time, please tell Hizashi or me if you're coming up here." There was a note of resignation in his tone as if he expected her to not listen. She wondered what kind of impression she had been impressing upon him thus far. She thought she had been pretty well behaved for the most part. "I can only imagine his panic if he found your room to be empty at dead of night. It's our only rule, remember?"

"You guys were sleeping though," she said. "Or at least, I thought you were," she added.

"We'd rather be woken up than waking up to you gone. We're responsible for you while you are living at our house, so you can't just do what you want. I'm sure he wouldn't mind bring you up here even if he was tired."

Kaori sighed. He was right, loath as she was to admit. "Fine. I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

Aizawa eyed her suspiciously but didn't push any further. They sat in silence once more. Kaori was glad for once he wasn't afraid of letting silence lapse in a conversation; she preferred silence over awkward small talk right now.

"How are you doing? With all that's been going on, I can't imagine it's been pleasant," he asked, sounding awkward. Kaori glanced at him in surprise, not expecting him to broach the topic at all. He looked extremely uncomfortable, like he wanted to be anywhere but here. Kaori didn't blame him. She didn't want to have this conversation either.

"Fine," she said automatically. "I mean, I just saw my parents being lowered into the ground today and I'm not bawling my eyes out, so I think I'm doing great." She winced slightly at her own words; was she being too flippant about this?

Aizawa looked even more uncomfortable than before, his expression looked almost comical under the serious pretense. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Kaori looked at him with surprise. "Do you? I didn't peg you for someone who likes to talk about … emotional stuff."

"No, but neither do you," he said. "But I'm willing to listen. Or we can go back right now, it's getting a bit too late anyway."

"I— " she faltered, unable to meet his eyes. "There's nothing to be said."

Aizawa merely watched her expectantly, and she felt the urge to finally give in, to confide in someone the worries she'd been having. Even if that someone was Aizawa, who had been rather cold about the entire thing since day one.

"Fine, I just…" She felt a lump in her throat, and she swallowed hard. "It's too much. All this stuff that's been happening to me." Her voice had grown louder, and she felt her pushed-down emotions rising turbulently. "My parents hadn't even wanted to go to that event. It was my fault that they died. Mine, alone. I'll have to deal with that for the rest of my life. That I was the only one to leave that place alive that day, even though they might deserve to live more than me." She paused, struggling to regain her breath. Aizawa merely looked on expressionlessly, silently encouraging her to continue. "A-and… and… I'm all alone now, unwanted, unneeded, I should've died back there, with them." She knew she didn't mean that last part — life wasn't something she was willing to give up ever — but right now, it felt like the right thing to say somehow. Her visions blurred with tears, and she took a moment to wipe them. She hesitantly looked at Aizawa, daring him to judge her for crying for the second time this week.

"It wasn't your fault. I saw the details of the case and there was nothing you could've done. There's no point in dwelling in what-ifs. By that logic, we can't go anywhere because there's a small chance we might die." This time, the lack of emotions in his voice calmed her instead of enraging her. She found solace in his calmness, like a rock in the middle of the storm. Unyielding. "You can't blame yourself for this. It'll eat you alive. You're just a kid. Not a hero."

"No, but my mom jumped on me to protect me," she said, feeling miserable. "It's all my fault."

"She would've died regardless," came the cold reply.

Kaori glared at him, but there was no venom in it. "You don't know that," she said weakly.

"I do. She saved your life. Are you going to waste it by blaming yourself for everything?"

"No," she mumbled. "But it doesn't change the fact that they're gone. I'm all alone now. Not even my stupid uncle wants me." Her chin wobbled, and she blinked back tears, feeling pathetic and very small.

"There's nothing wrong with being alone. And you aren't. You have Hizashi … and me," he finished awkwardly.

"Sure, but how long will it last? I'll have to leave soon anyway, to god knows where." She stared in front of her blankly. The thought was giving her more anxiety than she'd like to admit. She didn't want to live with strangers. Aizawa and Yamada were hard enough to get used to, and she already knew them from the show. She couldn't imagine having to go through the entire foster care system.

"For the record, it's not that we don't want you around. There are just more qualified people to take you in. Hizashi and I aren't the most stable, as you can probably tell. You'll have an easier time with some other family."

"Yeah, whatever. Let's just go back." Kaori stood suddenly, she wasn't going to sit here and be rejected like this.

"If that's what you want." He sighed and stood as well. He looked like he wanted to say more, but Kaori didn't want to hear it.

Perhaps there was something about the night that made her more candid than usual, and she regretted it. Safety and security — things she had never been without — were painfully absent now and after the short conversation, felt even more obvious.

She liked Yamada and Aizawa; as much as she wanted to deny it, their company had been invaluable in her time of need. Their inevitable parting will be painful at the rate they were going. Kaori needed to untangle herself from their emotional grasp if she wanted their separation to be clean, though she wasn't sure how she was going to go about it.

A/N: So this took a little longer than I thought it would D: I had to rewrite a ton of sections a bunch of times and there were some irl stuff I had to take care of unfortunately. We'll see if I can get the next chapter out in a timely manner. (Not too hopeful tbh XD)

But yea, chapter ten. Lots more angst in this one D: When will things start to get better for her, I wonder.

Anyway, thanks for reading! Hope you guys liked this chapter as much as I liked writing it lol. Their interactions are honestly such a blast to write.

Also, to that commenter who was curious about what her quirk was, I'll be revealing it next chapter :) I'll be uploading that one once my flight lands. Maybe.