A/N: WARNING: Brief mentions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

Chapter 14: Together Again

I run.

I run, and I run, and I run, and I don't stop running until I am in the safety of my hotel room, but even once I return, I still feel trapped.

Trapped in a world that doesn't make sense.

Trapped in a life that I don't want to live anymore.

And there is no way out. No escape. Not even throwing myself over the edge of the balcony would end it, because I'll just regenerate and start all over again, but it won't be any different. It will be the exact same as it has always been, and nothing can change it. Not ever.

I wish it never happened. I wish I never regenerated; then my life wouldn't be like it is—a big, messy wad of complicated. My life made sense before I regenerated; more than that, it was normal…but ever since it happened, my life has been anything but normal, and it will never be normal again.

That has been confirmed. By him. My father.

No, I correct myself immediately, that monster. That monster who claimed to be my father but isn't. That monster who wears that tweed jacket and bow tie like a trophy he earned for doing something heroic. But he is no hero to me, and he never will be. I never want to see him again. He ruined my life, and I will never forgive him for it. Ever!

I am certainly never going back to that box—that impossible, freakish blue box with its vast interior. It was like being in another world, another dimension, and it was just too weird to be real. River claimed that it was my home, but I can't see how that can ever happen, especially when nothing like that should even exist. Something like that can only ever exist in Sci-Fi movies, but it was real, clear as day. I could touch it, I could walk all over it, I could breathe its air…everything about it was one hundred percent real, without a doubt. How all of that is possible, I have no idea, but I don't care, because I'm never going back. That freak-show of a box can fly away for all I care, and I wouldn't be disappointed if it never comes back. In fact, I'd prefer that. I'd be much happier if I never saw it, as well as those freaks that are my bio-parents, again. I feel ashamed to be a daughter to people like them.

In anger, I pull out the Doctor's necklace from under my shirt, yank it off from around my neck, and chuck it across the room. The necklace slides across the carpet and into a dark corner behind the massive armoire against the far wall, across from Hazel's bed.

Hazel… It's my fault that she's gone. It's my fault they're all gone, including my guardians, who have always been my real parents. My true parents. I should never have left them, especially without saying goodbye. I could've saved them if I stayed. I was a horrible daughter, as well as a horrible friend, for leaving them.

There is a saying that "love heals a broken heart," but there is no one I love anymore that can heal both of mine. All of the people I love are gone, taken from me without warning, and I may never see them again. By now, they could all be dead, and their deaths were because of me, because I failed to save them when I should have.

Oh, Haze, I sob uncontrollably in my pillow, Mom, Dad… I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Please come back to me. I can't live like this…not without you.

Suddenly, there is a light knock on my hotel room door, which is weird, because I know I put the 'do not disturb' sign up the second I returned. I ignore it, however, thinking it to be one of the cleaning ladies or a guest who mistook my room for theirs. In any case, they'll eventually leave if I don't answer, so I stay put on my bed as I wipe my eyes dry. My only concern is that the knocker is another eye-patched freak who is here to snatch me or kill me, but my senses tell me that is not the case, which gives me some relief.

Luckily, the voice of the knocker is one that I recognize; though a small part of me hoped that it wasn't her, as he may have accompanied her, no doubt to make my life even more miserable than it already is.

"Nova?" River calls through the door, knocking again. "It's me, River!" I ignore her, turning away from the door, hoping she will eventually leave, but she doesn't. After a short pause, she knocks a third time and says in a more insistent tone, "Nova, sweetie, I know you're in there. Please let me in."

"Go away!" I yell angrily, feeling more tears brimming in my eyes. "I don't want to talk to you! I don't want to talk to anyone! Especially him!" If she brought the Doctor with her, I am certainly not opening the door. He can go to Hell after what he said to me earlier. No one tells me how to live my life, certainly not him, whether he's blood or not. Besides all of that, how can she even be up here, especially without a keycard? I briefly ponder to myself.

"He's not with me," River says a little more calmly. "And no, I can't leave you. I'm sorry, Nova; you're not safe alone."

"I don't care!" I say, my anger growing hotter in my veins. "Please leave before I call the cops!" If a threat like that won't make her leave, I don't know what will. I mean, ninety percent of the time the threat does the trick to scare people off quite easily (even at times when the police aren't actually called); surely, it'll work the same on her, right?

There is a long pause, suggesting that she had possibly left. Feeling unsure, I glance back toward the door, expecting her to break it down, but nothing happens.

That is, until her voice startles me right out of my skin, making both hearts jump to my throat. "The police can't help you," she says, having materialized next to me out of nowhere. "I can."

"Geez!" I exclaim out of shock. "How did you get in here?" There is absolutely no way she could have entered without opening the door. How the freak did she do it?!

"Through the front door," River admits. "Literally." She then lifts her arm, revealing the strange device strapped around her wrist. "I used this to put myself a second out of sync with Time to walk through the door. It's called a Vortex Manipulator. I'll teach you how to use it sometime."

I shake my head, my anger increasing even more, especially over the fact that she had refused to leave and, instead, broke into my room without my permission. "Whatever gibberish you just said, I'm not interested!" I say firmly. "In fact, I'm not interested in anything to do with you, especially him! Whatever life he has planned for me, I don't want it, so just leave! Leave me alone!" Sobbing uncontrollably, I rise from my bed, move to the far side of the room by the window, and collapse on the floor by Hazel's bed, burying my face in my knees.

Instead of leaving (no surprise) River walks toward me and sits on the floor next to me. "Trust me, Nova, I know how you feel," she says, her voice filled with genuine sympathy.

Doubtful, I shake my head. "You don't know a thing about me! I'm a freak!"

"You're not a freak," she disagrees. "You're just…different."

"Same thing!" I snap back. I am nothing like everybody else on this planet; therefore, I am a freak.

"No!" River insists. "Nova, trust me when I say I know what you're going through. I've been watching you, protecting you, for many years. You've been struggling to fit into this world, just like everybody else."

"And yet you never once talked to me," I argue. "Helped me when I needed you, like a true mother should." If she was really my mother, she would've stuck up for me in a heartbeat, no questions asked.

"Believe me, sweetie, I wanted to," she sighs deeply, "but your father—"

"Don't call him that!" I demand, like the mere mention of the word, especially when it refers to him, leaves a bad taste in the air. "He's not my father, and he never will be!" Just the mere mention of him embarrasses me.

River sighs again. "Nova, I know this is hard for you. You're angry and confused, and I don't blame you. You were born from a race you know nothing about. You've lost the people you care about, and you want them back in your life."

Dear god, why is she doing this to me? I think, my voice sounding desperate. Why can't she take the hint that I want her gone; gone forever, especially that Doctor?

I can't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. "It's my fault they're gone. I should never have left them. I could've saved them…protected them. They could be dead, for all I know. Now I've got nothing…no one." I feel more alone now than ever, and I can't bear a second of it.

"That's not true," River shakes her head, placing her hand on my shoulder, but I don't acknowledge her. "You've got your fath—the Doctor and me. We can help you; in fact, we're the only ones who can help you."

"I'm not going back," I say seriously, meaning every word. "Whatever that…freak-show of a box is, I'm not going back there, especially if he is going to be there."

"I'm afraid you'll be disappointed to know that he owns that box," River says in a 'sorry, but not sorry' tone. "In fact, it's not really a box; it's just disguised like that."

"Well, whatever it is," I say carelessly, "I'm not going back, especially back to him. I never want to see him again." What is it in her head that's preventing her from understanding that?

"Sweetie, you must," River says insistently. "He's…" She pauses, knowing that the next thing she will say will disappoint me, but she feels obligated to say it anyway. "He's your father. Like he said before, he's been wanting to be a father again for centuries. Your father. Please, give him another chance."

"No!" I scream at her, my anger reaching its peak. "He said I could never have a normal life again. That's all I've ever wanted to be—normal. I'm not going to let him take that away from me! If he wants to take something from me, he can take my powers, because I don't want them! They're the reason why I'm like this, whatever I am." If it wasn't for my powers, what I was born as, I wouldn't be the freak that I am. And in no way am I going to give the Doctor a second chance. He doesn't deserve one after what he said.

"Sweetie, you don't understand," River shakes her head with her own tears brimming in her eyes. "Your powers are your greatest gifts. They allow you to be the amazing person you are…not to mention they also can save your life. If you hadn't been able to regenerate after you reacted badly to the aspirin, you would've died. Your regeneration was what saved your life that night."

"That may be so, but it's the reason why I'm not human," I say seriously. "My regeneration was what turned me non-human to begin with. It changed my entire life, and I can't go back to being who I once was, no matter how much I wish I could." I sigh, feeling more depressed than before. "I was normal before I regenerated. I wish I hadn't. Even if the aspirin had killed me, I would rather die than be like this." I truly mean it. Being normal is far better than being this, and there is nothing that can change my mind.

Near tears, River shakes her head and says, gripping my shoulder even more tightly, "No, Nova, don't talk like that. You don't mean that. I know being born different is hard for you, especially being born from a race you don't even know. Let us help you. We know what it's like, especially the Doctor. We can help you understand." She then reaches out and lifts my chin up so our eyes lock with one another. "Please, let us help you," she says as a single tear rolls down her cheek. "Let us be a family again."

Her last statement makes a thousand more tears roll down my own cheeks, and now I feel more ashamed than ever, but this time I am ashamed of myself. She is right about everything she said, especially about the Doctor wanting to be a father again, which is something he hasn't been in a very long time. When he made River pregnant, that, I imagine, was the first time he had felt the joy of being a parent again, but because of the Silence's obsession with wanting him dead, he felt that keeping me around after my birth was too dangerous, and he had his opportunity of parenthood taken away from him when he gave me up. Now that I am (seemingly) back in his life, he has another opportunity to raise me as his daughter; but because I ran, that opportunity got taken away from him again—one that I took away from him and am now refusing to give back because of my anger and hatred towards him. Like River said, all he wants—all they want—is to be a family again, to bring me back in their lives for good, and I am stubbornly refusing to give them that chance, a chance that they might never have again if I don't accept their help. Not to mention that they are the only ones who can save my guardians, which I am also refusing their help for. God, I must be a terrible person to them.

Feeling so ashamed of myself that I am suddenly overwhelmed with emotion, I instinctively wrap my arms around River. Despite her still being a stranger to me, but not completely at this point, I am in desperate need of a shoulder to cry on, and hers is the only one available to me. "I'm sorry," I sob, burying my face in her chest and soaking her blouse with tears.

She wraps her own arms around me and pulls me close. "Hush, my love," she says calmly, combing her fingers through my tangled hair. "There's nothing to be sorry for. You've been through a tough time. What you're feeling is absolutely normal. We will get your family back, I promise."

"I want us to be a family too," I say honestly, looking up at her. "I want to know who and what I am, and where my place is in the universe." My birth parents, the Doctor and River Song, are the only ones who can help me see that.

River's words from before she and he gave me up ring in my mind: We shall be together again… Someday. A day which may have finally come.

"We will do whatever it takes to make that happen," she promises me, drying my cheeks with her blouse sleeve.

"And I want to stop the Silence—Vokanari—from ever harming us again," I say seriously. "They've kept us apart for too long." Because of them, I was never able to meet my parents properly, grow up with them like I should have. Because of them, I have spent eighteen years not knowing of my true origins.

"You are absolutely right," River smiles before standing up. "Come," she says as she helps me to my own feet, "let's get back to your father."

You mean the Doctor; I think about saying but don't. I still don't feel comfortable with the idea of returning to him, but something in my gut tells me I don't have a choice. Considering that I've got nowhere else to go, seeing as I don't have a family to return home to, my only option is that sketchy blue box.

"Not yet," I say, suddenly realizing that I can't leave Hazel's and my belongings here at the hotel. "I want to pack first. Hazel and I were supposed to stay here until we started school, but since she's M.I.A., and I don't know if we're coming back, I need to cancel our stay here." Once she is safe, we might come back, but there are no guarantees of that happening, certainly not anytime soon.

"Of course," River nods understandingly. "Let me help."

"Thank you," I say appreciatively before we get to work on packing everything. As we work, I tell River not to worry if she combines Hazel's things with mine; she can just throw everything in bags, and I'd sort them out later.

"How're we going to get all this stuff back to the alley?" I ask breathlessly after we finish packing. It is going to be a major challenge for us to haul everything back there in one trip, especially in the rain, as it had started raining while we were packing.

"We don't have to," River assures me. "The Doctor parked the TARDIS just outside the hotel." She must have asked him to do that before she chased me back here.

"I'm still not sure I'm ready to go back," I say, still feeling highly reluctant after the events of earlier. "He really angered me."

"I know, sweetie," she says, squeezing my hand comfortingly. "He didn't mean to."

"Really?" I say somewhat doubtfully. "Because he sounded like he did mean it."

She shakes her head. "No, he…" She pauses with a heavy sigh. "He can be stupid sometimes; he doesn't always think before speaking. Those are the times when you just want to slap him."

I chuckle. "Did you?"

She smiles. "I did." She then sighs again with a shrug. "But he also wasn't wrong about what he said."

"What do you mean?" I ask, puzzled.

"There are many beings out there that hate us for what we are—Time Lords," she explains with a hint of contempt in her voice. "They want to expunge us from all creation."

"Why?" I ask with a frown. Admittedly, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

"Why, indeed," she says somewhat cryptically.

"You don't know?" I ask uncertainly.

"I do know, but that's a topic to ask the Doctor," she admits before shrugging. "Spoilers."

"Why do you say that?" I ask, feeling slightly annoyed. "Why does everyone say that word?" People have said that word around me all the time, but I never understood why.

"Because now is not the time to ask that question," River says apologetically. "That's a topic to be discussed behind closed doors. The TARDIS doors."

"Is that the reason why I can't have a normal life?" I ask curiously. "Simply because of what I am?" I still can't get over that fact. It's ridiculous!

"That's not the main reason why," River admits. "We'll discuss this once we get back to the TARDIS. The Doctor was going to explain it to you before you ran."

Those words suddenly leave me speechless as well as immensely guilty.

"Are you ready?" River asks after a few moments as she gathers an armful of Hazel's and my bags.

I look around the empty hotel room, the space now looking lonelier than ever. Then again, all hotel rooms are like that before guests occupy them, but this room feels especially lonely without Hazel's carefree laugh filling it. Who knows when her laugh will fill this room again, or it might fill another room, depending on if we return or not. In the meantime, someone else's laugh will have to take up the space without us.

Do I really have a choice? I say in my head as an answer, but instead, I answer out loud, "Yeah." With nothing more to say, I turn off the light and exit the room with River, dragging the remaining bags in tow. We take the lift down to the lobby in silence, and I cancel Hazel's and my reservation at the front desk while River stays with our bags. Shortly after I check out of the hotel, I nod to River as I lift the hood of my jacket over my head and step out into the pouring rain where the impossible blue box is waiting for us.

That familiar weird feeling of being in a place I shouldn't be, but also one of belonging at the same time, washes over me after I step over the threshold of the blue box and into the impossibly vast room beyond the doors, where an anxious-looking Doctor greets us.

"Nova!" he says after we enter, close the doors behind us, and set the bags down on the floor. "I'm so sorry." He rushes up to me and wraps his arms around me in a tight hug. I'm still not comfortable embracing someone I feel strong anger and hatred toward, but I instinctively wrap my own arms around him anyway, albeit awkwardly.

"Me too," I say, though I am not sure if it is an honest answer. "I mean for running."

"I didn't mean to say it like that," he says, his voice shaky, like he is having trouble fighting back tears. "You've been through so much, and it was all my fault. You must think I'm a terrible father."

"No, it's not that," I say, shaking my head. "I ran because I was scared; scared that I would never have a normal life again, like you said. I didn't want to believe you." As I said that, my own voice had started becoming slightly shaky, and I had started having trouble fighting back my own tears. Damn, I think to myself, there's been a lot of that lately; then again, this day has been a pretty sucky one, probably one of the suckiest days of my life.

He pulls away from me but still holds me in front of him. "I actually meant what I said," he says seriously but also shamefully, "but I didn't mean to say it like that." Upon closer inspection, I can see a pale-pink spot on his left cheek where River had undoubtedly slapped him. I can honestly say he deserved it, but I choose not to say it out loud. He has been through enough already.

"What did you mean to say?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. "River said I can't have a normal life because of what I am, but that wasn't the main reason why. So, what is the main reason why?"

"Let's sit down again," he suggests, wrapping an arm around me and leading me back to the steps in front of the control console on the elevated platform. This action makes me think that this will be a normal routine when serious topics are discussed. River follows us and seats herself in the chair where the Doctor sat last time, and the Doctor seats me back on the step next to him, where River sat last time. Still keeping his arm around me, much like River before, he explains with a heavy sigh, "For you in particular, it's much more complicated. Obviously, by now, you know you're not human; you're a Time Lord."

"Yeah," I nod. "What exactly is that? People have called me that, but I don't know what that is."

"It's what we are," the Doctor admits, "where we're from."

"Gallifrey, right?" I say, the name suddenly appearing in my memory. "That's your home-world?"

His expression changes in the blink of an eye from grim to sad. "It used to be," he murmurs with a slight hint of shamefulness in his voice.

"'Used to be?'" I ask with a puzzled frown. "What do you mean? Does it not exist anymore? Was there a war, or something?" This seemed to often happen in most Sci-Fi movies and TV shows, and I wouldn't be surprised if this sort of thing was true in real life as well.

The Doctor nods with tears brimming in his old eyes. "Yes, there was a war. The Last Great Time War. My people fought a malevolent race called the Daleks, giant squids that go around in battle tanks and exterminate everything in their path."

"And they won?" I ask hesitantly, a disturbed feeling clinging tightly to my heartstrings. "The Daleks?"

He nods again. "Yes. They destroyed everything. Everyone. Except for me." A single tear rolls down his cheek, but he wipes it away quickly with his jacket sleeve. This must be really hard for him, having to relive all those terrible memories of everything and everyone he lost. His sadness makes me feel more and more ashamed of myself for hating him.

I swallow hard, suddenly feeling a large knot lodge itself in my throat. "So…you were the last Time Lord ever? The only survivor of your people?" The school intruder's words suddenly pop into my head in that moment: There used to just be your daddy, but now there's your mother…and you.

"That's what I thought," he admits. "There were two others, but they died, not from the War but from other natural causes."

On instinct, I lay a gentle hand on his knee, exactly like I did when he cried when River told her story earlier. "I'm sorry," I say with genuine sympathy, feeling my bottom lip tremble. The Doctor places his hand over mine and squeezes it gently, showing his appreciation. After a few minutes of silence, I ask, "So, what does being a Time Lord have to do with me not being able to have a normal life? Is it to do with my energy?"

"Partially," he nods. "Certain beings want to use our energy for bad things, like taking over the universe, or they simply want to extinguish it entirely."

Suddenly feeling disturbed, I ask hesitantly, "By 'extinguish,' you mean…?" I awkwardly raise a finger and move it across my throat in a 'killing' gesture.

The Doctor nods, then continues, "Yes. However, the Silence want to use your energy for an even greater purpose."

"To kill you?" I say knowingly.

"More than that," he admits, and after a short pause, he continues, "When you were first born, the Silence used the energy from an exploding star to make your regeneration energy much more powerful. They mixed the star's energy with your regeneration energy as a way of turning you into a sort of bomb…a 'supernova,' if you will."

What the freak?! I scream in my head. Is he for real? I am a literal bomb waiting to go off and kill not just the Doctor but possibly the whole universe?!

"Whoa!" I say instead. "So that's why you named me 'Nova?' Because…well…I am one?" There is a freaking supernova inside me! What the actual hell?!

"Well, we mostly named you 'Nova' after the event that took place at the time of your birth," the Doctor says with a shrug, "but yes. When the Silence experimented on you, they did something to your regeneration energy. The added energy from the star prevents you from fully regenerating, that is, changing your physical body entirely. That's why you didn't change bodies the first time, but it still counted as a regeneration."

"Really?" I say with a raised eyebrow. "I always thought I didn't change simply because I didn't want to." Why would I? I think to myself. Why would anyone?

"No, that's not how regeneration works," the Doctor explains, shaking his head. "When it comes time for a Time Lord to regenerate, they must change bodies, or they simply die as they are. That's what happened to another Time Lord I once knew. He refused to regenerate, so he died like a regular mortal."

"'A regular mortal?'" I say incredulously, my head spinning. "Are you saying that we're immortal? We can never die properly while we're able to regenerate?" Also, can we backtrack a minute to talk about the fact that I am a freaking bomb that could kill us all at any moment?! I think but do not say.

"Well, there is a limit to how many times a Time Lord can regenerate," the Doctor says with a small shrug. "Twelve times, to be exact."

"Okay, well, I regenerated once, so that means I have, what, eleven left?" I ask to clarify what he is saying, which I am having a seriously hard time believing. A small part of me wants to run again, but I fight back that urge.

He shrugs again, this time uncertainly. "Supposedly, but who knows how many you have, Nova. Because of the Silence's experiments, they may have mucked up with your cycle so much that you may have endless regenerations now…or possibly none at all."

I raise a quizzical eyebrow. "Okay, so…it's unknown whether I can still regenerate or not?"

The Doctor nods. "Yes."

I shake my head, feeling highly confused. "But I can still conjure up the energy," I insist. "Check this out." I briefly make my hand glow gold for a few seconds before allowing it to disappear. "See? So, I must still have the ability."

"Yes, but there's no telling what can happen when you next regenerate…that is, if you still can," the Doctor says somewhat apologetically. "The intensity of the regeneration can vary. It could just be a quick change, or it can be a powerful burst of energy that might destroy the environment around you."

Holy crap, I exclaim in my head. That's pretty much what a bomb does. Who is to say all Time Lords are—were—'bombs' waiting to go off? "Dang!" I say out loud. "Has that happened to you before?" He must have; otherwise, he wouldn't have suggested it.

"Yes, many times," he admits with a small nod. "I've destroyed this very room on more than one occasion."

"'Many times?'" I frown again, that familiar disturbing feeling stabbing me in the chest. "That means you must be reaching the end now—the end of your cycle, I mean." 'Many times' would certainly mean 'more than five times;' that being said, depending on how many times he has truly regenerated, he must be at the end of the line by now, if not close to the end of the line.

"I am," he nods sadly, confirming my theory. "I'm already there."

My eyes widen in shock. "You mean…you're done? You can't ever regenerate again?"

He shakes his head, his sadness never faltering from his youthful face. "No. I can still conjure up the energy to heal minor injuries, like a broken wrist, but I can't change bodies again, no."

I then turn to River, who also looks on the verge of tears, not for me but for her husband. "And, River, you gave up all of yours," I say. "So…that means I'm the only one who can still regenerate. Maybe."

Holy cow, I think incredulously. To be the only Time Lord in existence to still have the ability to regenerate… I can't believe it!

After my parents nod, I am in so much shock, I suddenly feel as if the room has shrunk around me to the proper size of its exterior. I bury my face in my hands, suddenly feeling light-headed and my hearts pounding at an impossibly fast pace. "This is…" I say, shaking my head from the dizziness. "This is insane!" I then wince, the dizziness suddenly getting worse. "Ow! My head!" The pressure has increased so much that I feel as if my head is about to explode with insanity.

I feel the Doctor wrap his arms around me as if attempting to steady me, like I am about to faint at any moment. In all honesty, I am starting to feel that way. "Take it easy, Nova," he says calmly. "You've had a long day. You need to rest."

I immediately shake my head in disagreement. "No, I need to find my guardians and Hazel. Who knows what they're going through right now. I need to save them." The motion makes my vision go fuzzy, and I feel myself swooning into the Doctor's chest.

"Nova!" I hear my mother cry in alarm, but her voice sounds far away. I hear her rise from her seat and feel her place a concerned hand on my shoulder.

"You're not saving anyone in this condition," the Doctor says seriously, his voice also sounding somewhat far away. "You're too exhausted. You need to rest. Here, put your arms around me. I'll take you to your room."

I instinctively wrap my arms around his neck as he lifts me into his arms in a bridal-style position. "My…room?" I ask in a very weak tone, the pressure in my head growing slightly heavier.

"Yes," he says as he gets up from the step and starts walking up them. "Your mother and I have prepared a room for you a while back. I'll take you there."

"We both will," River insists as she follows us down a connecting hallway leading away from the Control Room, which I have decided to call the room we had just left. To ease the stress somewhat, I lay my head on the Doctor's shoulder and shut my eyes for a bit as he carries me through the hexagonal-shaped corridors, which helps to clear my vision as well. By the time I open my eyes again as we are entering a small dark room at the far end of the corridor, the pressure has declined a little, as well as the fuzziness in my vision.

"Here we are," the Doctor says as River flips the light switch on the wall, bathing a familiar room in a bright light.

I smile in awe. "It…looks like my room back home."

"It is," River says as she turns over the covers of my bed. "It's an exact copy of your room back home…or at least as exact as we could make it. We figured you'd want your room to be just like the one you grew up in."

"No," I say, shaking my head, as the Doctor gently places me on my bed. "It's perfect. Thank you."

"You rest now, Nova," he says calmly as he caresses my cheek. "Give yourself time to process. You need your strength if we're going to save your family…and so we can start your training." He then leaves shortly after, leaving me alone with my mother.

I turn to her, puzzled as to what her husband was talking about. "My training?"

"Yes," she nods as she begins untying my shoelaces. "Since your father is reaching the end of his life, he wants to start your training so you may take over for him one day."

"'Take over?'" I frown. "You mean, like, take up the family business when he retires?" Could that be where Trenzalore is, like in the prophecy? I ponder to myself. Could that be some kind of retirement spot, or something of the like?

River pauses for a moment, but the way she pauses is weird, like there is something disturbing about her husband's 'retirement plan'… Like it's not a retirement plan at all. "Something like that," she responds in a 'no big deal' manner, but I can't help but feel like she is lying. After she tucks me in, almost like a true mother would do for her child, she says, "Now, like your father said, you rest. You've had a tough day today." She prepares to leave, but I stop her by grabbing her wrist, the one containing the so-called 'Vortex Manipulator.'

"Wait!" I beg, pulling her down to sit beside me. "I want to ask you something, and I'm not going to sleep without knowing the answer."

She gives in and does what I suggested. "What is it, my love?" she asks gently, running her fingers through my hair again.

"Why didn't the Doctor let you talk to me while I was growing up?" I ask seriously. "Why wait until now to show yourself to me?" When I seemed to be about to die, I think but do not say.

She is silent for a minute before she finally answers. "After we gave you up, your father believed that you'd be safer away from him, especially with the Silence always hunting him. He believed that if you knew nothing about us or your origins, you'd have a shot at living a long life. But when you regenerated for the first time, we knew you'd figure out who and what you were quickly, but he still didn't want you knowing about us, so he had me watch over you and protect you from a distance while you were growing up. And only when your powers were at their peak were we going to finally reveal ourselves, knowing you'd no longer be safe at that point."

"And that was when I was cornered in the alley?" I ask to clarify what she is saying.

"Actually, your powers have been at their peak since your regeneration," River admits with a hint of worry in her voice. "Your regeneration was what first awakened your Time Lord powers; and since then, you've been a beacon of light to our enemies ever since, hence why several have tried coming after you, including the men in the alley."

"So instead, you waited until I was old enough to meet you and to understand everything you would tell me about my true origins?" I ask, the pressure in my head gradually starting to return.

River is silent for another minute before continuing with a sigh. "Actually, the truth is, the Doctor never planned to have you back in our lives; not until the Silence were defeated once and for all. He didn't want you involved in his conflict with them, knowing they'd target you and use you as their next weapon against him, like they did with me. He wasn't going to allow that to happen, especially to his own daughter, so that's why he gave you up. That, and we also didn't expect you to regenerate at such an early age."

I shrug, releasing my own sigh. "Well, he seemed to have changed his mind now, because I'm here; in fact, he said I'm safer in this place than anywhere else because of my abilities, especially now that my Time Lord powers have been 'awakened,' as you say."

"He's right," she nods. "Your 'beacon of light' doesn't exist while you're in the TARDIS; therefore, our enemies can't get to you here."

"Sounds like I'm a prisoner here," I say dismally, feeling highly disturbed at the idea, "especially since I can't leave this place. I can't ever go home again." I sigh again. The Doctor is ruining my life again, as per usual. So like him.

River shakes her head. "No, Nova, you're not a prisoner here. You can still leave the TARDIS; you just can't stay in one place for long, at least no longer than a few days. We'll protect you, no matter where you go." She then adds with tearful eyes while continuing to caress my cheek and hair. "And we'll always love you."

I nod. "I know you love me…" I then pause, suddenly feeling suspicious. "But does the Doctor? He gave me up and then never planned to come back." Again, what kind of a father does that to his child? A true father would never do that. Ever.

"No, he loves you," she says honestly. "He loves you very much. He felt that the only way to keep you safe was to keep you as far away from him as possible, but deep down he wants to be with you. He wanted to raise you since the moment you were born, and so did I."

A new wave of anger floods my hearts in that moment. All my life, my biological parents wanted to raise me, protect me, love me as their own, and the Silence haven't made it easy for them, nor my grandparents, whose baby—my mother—was forcefully taken from them and trained to kill the Doctor, exactly like they have been planning to do with me. For a long time, even long before I was born, the Silence have been tearing our family apart…and for what?

"Why do they do this to us?" I say, my anger increasing. "The Silence—Vokanari, whatever—why do they want to separate us? Turn us against each other? What could they possibly hope to gain from that?" After all, it is their fault that my life is the way that it is…their fault that the people who should be my true parents are total strangers to me…

Their fault that we have been separated for so long, hence why I have a strong hatred for my own father, the Doctor. Because of them, he was forced to separate me from himself so that I could be protected from them, so that I could have a long, but most importantly, safe, life; and only now did my father change his mind to have me back, knowing that at this point, nowhere is safe for me. Not anymore. No place except here in this impossible blue box—the TARDIS.

More than that, it is their fault that my regeneration ability is all wonky. They've turned me into a freakin' bomb, for crying out loud! They hope to use my regeneration energy to not only destroy the environment but my father along with it…especially my father, all because of some stupid paranoia of him letting loose his most dangerous secret that must never be told—his own name.

WHAT! THE! ACTUAL! FREAK!

"I have absolutely no idea," River sighs with a shrug. She then smiles. "That's something we can worry about another time. Right now, you need to rest."

"It seems wrong to rest while my family could be being tortured, or who knows what else, who-knows-where," I say, feeling seriously bummed out that I can't do anything to save them, especially not without knowing the location of where they have been sent to, which could be literally anywhere in Time and Space.

"I know, sweetie," River says sympathetically. "I'm sorry. We will find them soon." Before she gets up from my bedside, she reaches into her jeans pocket and pulls out a familiar-looking necklace—the Doctor's necklace that I had thrown across the hotel room floor in my rage. "Oh, by the way, you dropped this in the hotel room," she says, wrapping my fingers tightly around it. "You might want to hold onto it. It's one of the very few things your father has left of home." She then leans over and kisses me on the forehead, and I can honestly say it felt heartwarming. "Get some rest now. We'll talk more when you're well." She rises to her feet and walks to the bedroom door.

After she flips off the overhead light, I say before she walks away, "Mom?" Swiftly realizing my mistake, I correct myself, feeling embarrassed. "Sorry, River?"

"Yes, sweetie?" she pauses yet again, smiling at me like she is secretly making fun of me for keeping her from leaving so I can recover without further distractions. Either that, or she is secretly making fun of me for accidentally calling her 'Mom.'

"I promise, this is the last question for the night," I say, and I truly mean it. "Do you think, when I'm better, you can teach me some of your combat tricks? I've taken a lot of combat training at home, but your skills are way beyond my level." In all honesty, I am still trying to process the fact that she took down over ten men all at once in the alley, and I could barely take down half as many by myself, even after we've both been trained by the same person, which I'm still finding difficult to believe.

"Perhaps I could," she smiles again, considering my request. "And perhaps we could keep it a secret from your father. He doesn't approve for violence."

"Me neither, but I could use the extra combat training," I say honestly. "I don't want to risk regenerating again, if it's true I may explode the entire environment I'm in, and maybe even you guys along with it." The thought still sickens me to my core.

"I'll see what I can do," she says, and it sounds like a promise. "Sweet dreams, my Nova. I love you."

"I love you too," I say as she closes my bedroom door, plunging me in total darkness.

Shortly after my mother leaves, I briefly wonder why I said I loved her back, especially when she was still a stranger to me, though, admittedly, not as much of a stranger now as the Doctor is.

I still don't know what to think of my wannabe father. For all the things he has done for me, especially when he gave me up to protect me from the clutches of the Silence, he seems to genuinely care for me, like River said, but if I am being completely real, he hasn't physically proven that he still cares for me. He hasn't shown himself to me near as often as River has, but in actuality, he has done much for me while I've never paid him any attention. He gave up his parenthood for me, which, according to River, wasn't something he was willing to do; but if it meant saving his only daughter's life, he would do anything to make that happen. Knowing this, it brings a whole new perspective into my eyes, and it makes me feel more guilty for running away and refusing his help.

Oh, man, I sigh in my head, my guilt increasing, I take back everything I ever said and thought about you. You really are a good man, Dad—Doctor. I chastise myself for calling him by that other title, knowing that he is not my dad…yet.

After a while, I take my phone and sonic screwdriver out from my pockets, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with them digging firmly into my sides. After placing my otherworldly screwdriver on the nightstand beside my bed, I unlock my phone and scroll through my photos of my guardians, which increases my longing to see them again.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you," I say tearfully, like they can hear me even through the photos. "I should never have left, but I'll make it up to you. I'll find you. I'll find you and save you, and I will never ever stop until I do. The Silence will get what they deserve for hurting you. That's a promise."

A/N: TO BE CONTINUED!

To give some context to avoid confusion, the moment when the Doctor said that the Daleks destroyed Gallifrey, that was a lie (rule 1: the Doctor lies). In "Day of the Doctor," it was revealed that the Doctor was actually the one who destroyed (or rather **thought** he destroyed) Gallifrey. This truth will be revealed to Nova in a later chapter. For those who were confused when reading that scene, I apologize.