A/N: "He who has overcome his fears will truly be free." –Aristotle

Part 6 of 10 of the episode "Living Nightmare."

References to "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" and DW episode "Deep Breath."

Chapter 29: He Who Has Overcome His Fears Will Truly Be Free

Why? Why did we have to agree to this? This is a terrible idea! I can't believe this is our plan! A plan that will surely all go up in flames!

I mostly can't believe what everyone's agreed for me to do. As much as I want to help these people, infiltrating an enemy base sounds way cooler. In fact, that's what everyone should have agreed to let me do instead of Dad.

So, here's the sitch:

Our main goal is to find the aliens' base, shut them down as well as save everyone they've kidnapped, and therefore save humanity. The problem is, the aliens are after my father, particularly his worst fear that will undoubtedly destroy the Earth. Another issue is, Dad is the only one out of the four of us that has had any experience with these sickos; therefore he is, allegedly, the only one who can defeat them.

However, I beg to differ. During our strategy session, I explained that Dad shouldn't go because that would give the aliens exactly what they want; therefore they would be expecting him to show up. I explained that if anyone was to go anywhere near these sickos, it was going to be me. If I go, I could trick the aliens into thinking I'm Dad by pretending to be him; and while they're preoccupied in enacting their revenge on me, Dad and the others could sneak in and rescue the people they've kidnapped, as well as shut down the field that makes the fears come to life, and therefore save humanity.

I was genuinely surprised when Vastra actually took my side, but Dad was having none of it, saying that I wasn't experienced enough, therefore I wasn't ready to face a danger that great. We had a slight argument over it until Vastra interrupted us by confessing that ever since Jenny's disappearance, she has been trying to find someone to help with her investigations, and she thought to appoint me as her temporary assistant. This was music to my ears, as—let's be real—who wouldn't want to be John Watson for a day?

Unfortunately, this would mean that I wouldn't be helping Dad in the way that I planned. By helping Vastra, I would be staying away from the danger by, instead, helping her aide the city into overcoming their fears until the field making the fears come to life is deactivated—a plan in which Stinx is going to help Dad accomplish instead of me.

Literally the most uncool sitch in the history of the universe.

Despite everything, needless to say, on the plus side, Vastra was able to clear Dad's and my name of any 'criminal offense' after we were falsely accused of murder last night.

"I still think this is a bad idea," I speak up after several minutes of silence as we ride through the still empty streets later that morning, not long after sunrise, "I still think that I should be the one to go, not you."

Dad sighs, shaking his head. "Nova, we've already discussed this. You're not ready."

"I know I don't have any experience," I say, trying not to sound like a whiny five-year-old, "but this'll help me get that experience. I'm gonna have to face danger at some point; in fact, I already have, several times before. I defeated that Sontaran at the arcade, no problem; and I took down several Vokanari members by myself. I think I can take down a few lizard-people." I then glance awkwardly to Vastra. "Uh…I mean other lizard-people. Not you, obviously."

"I understand, my dear," she nods. "No offense taken."

Dad sighs again, turning a full ninety degrees to me. "Nova, I don't think you understand. Your way of doing things—it's not how I do things. You think you can just go in, kick them in the groin, and expect it all to work out, but that doesn't always work; in fact, it never works like that. Those people you fought in the alley in Modern Day London—those weren't very well-trained members. In that aspect, you just got lucky. Had they actually been trained professionals, they would've overpowered you in a heartbeat, with or without your mother there to aide you. Very rarely have I encountered someone who lacks much experience, but these people—the Shada Dämo—they're highly trained in what they do. I wouldn't be surprised if they've advanced in their technology since I dealt with them last; it has been centuries since I saw them last. I'm sorry, Nova, but it's out of the question. You're not experienced enough; you're not ready. It's best that I handle this with Strax. You'll do better with Madame Vastra. She needs your help. You're good at calming people when they're under stress. Help them in overcoming their fears; or at the very least, help them to control their fears."

I sigh back, rolling my eyes. "No offense, but that's nowhere near as interesting as infiltrating an enemy base."

"I know," Dad says sadly, "but you'll be much safer this one time with Vastra than with me. I won't let them take advantage of you if they find you as well."

"And I don't want Earth to be destroyed because of your fear!" I shoot back at him. "Not to mention my life being rewritten along with it! I don't want to lose you again! Please, Dad, you've got to let me go with you!" If I don't go with him, there's a high chance he'll get himself killed—again. I don't want to be responsible for that happening again! I can't! I won't!

"It's not gonna happen, Nova," he shakes his head again. "As I've said many times now, you're not ready to face a danger that extensive. You need more experience, and helping Vastra will help you gain that experience." He then reaches up to caress my cheek. "These people need you, Nova. Help me by helping them."

After he finishes, there is a sudden shudder as the carriage comes to a complete stop, followed by Stinx's voice informing us, "Madam! We have arrived at the drop-off point!"

"Thank you, Strax," Vastra says as she prepares to exit the carriage. "We will dismount shortly." She then turns to me as she opens the door. "I believe this is our stop."

I nod but don't say anything, feeling disturbed about the idea of leaving my father's side, especially after he'd insisted on me never leaving his side for the rest of this adventure. I guess the plans have changed. That always happens at the worst possible times.

"It's gonna be alright, Nova," he assures me as he continues to caress my cheek. "Don't worry about me. I've got Strax; he'll watch my back for me."

"I still think I should take his place," I say seriously. "I don't trust him with you." I worry that Strax will get him killed by doing something stupid, especially since he's proven to be the dumbest person in all of creation.

"I'll be alright," he says again. "You'll be alright. You've got Madame Vastra. She'll take good care of you."

Then again, that is a plus. "Rather she be my babysitter than Stinx," I say with a slight chuckle. "Not that I need a babysitter."

"No, but you do need someone to protect you," Dad says honestly. "Unfortunately, that 'someone' can't be me this time."

"I wish it could be," I sigh sadly, placing my hand over his. Honestly, I'd feel much more comfortable with him than with Vastra (no offense to her), especially since I've known him much longer.

"I know," he says as he pulls his hand away from my cheek and wraps it around the back of my neck, pulling me in to connect foreheads with him. "You'll be fine. I'm proud of you, you know. I will always be proud of you."

"Yeah," I say with a forced smile as I struggle to swallow back a knot that had formed in my throat.

Unfortunately, the calm moment is short-lived when Vastra speaks up, saying, "Nova! I hate to interrupt, but we must go. These people need our help. We shan't let them suffer any longer."

"Alright, I'm coming!" I reluctantly call back. I then sigh to Dad, looking up at him sadly, "Well…see you later, I guess."

"You most certainly will," he says with much confidence in his deep voice. "Don't think this is goodbye. I hate goodbyes."

His words suddenly make the knot in my throat tighten, making me think of my guardians, and how I left them without saying goodbye, and how I wish I did. "Me too," I mumble, fighting myself not to cry, as my eyes begin to fog up with tears. Before the tears have a chance to spill, I squeeze my eyes shut and wrap my arms around Dad's neck in one last hug. "See ya."

"I love you," he says, hugging me back. After another few seconds, he pulls away. "I will always love you, Nova Susan Song. Never forget that." He kisses my forehead before I reluctantly exit the carriage. His words make me think of Mom saying those exact words before she left us. Back when she was still my mother before she fell under the Vokanari's control.

I push that thought to the back of my mind as I join Vastra at her side.

"If all goes well," she says to Stinx as she closes the carriage door, separating me from my father, "meet us back at Paternoster Row."

"Yes, madam!" the cloaked Sontaran says with a nod. He then says to the horse as he pulls on the reigns, "Onwards to battle, mighty beast!"

The carriage immediately begins pulling away, and I watch forlornly as Dad stares back at me through the window with equal sadness. He lifts a hand to the window as a way of encouraging me that everything is going to be okay, as he's said many times before, and I lift my own hand up to give a slight wave back. We stare at each other, neither of us blinking an eye, until the carriage veers around a corner and out of sight.

"Shall we?" Vastra says, gesturing down the road in the opposite direction.

"Yeah," I say as I reluctantly follow her.

As we walk, I can't stop thinking of Dad and what he's getting himself into. If it's true that the reptilian-eyed aliens have set a trap for him, I worry that it'll end up killing him exactly like the pirates killed him on our previous adventure. If he does end up dying, this would be the last time I would ever see him again—that ancient-but-young-looking face that stared back at me through the carriage window. Now more than ever, I wish I'd gone with him instead of Stinx.

"You are in great distress," Vastra suddenly speaks up, apparently sensing my nervousness. "You fear for your father's safety."

I sigh, feeling reluctant to tell her the truth. "I mean…the last time we separated…when I left him…he was killed. Murdered by a group of pirates that were after the TARDIS, though one of them was secretly a Vokanari member. I thought I'd never forgive myself. If things were different…if I wasn't born the way I was…" I immediately shake my head, not wanting to think about it further. "I don't want to make that same mistake again. That's why I should've gone with him instead of Strax. Better yet, I should've gone in Dad's place, so he doesn't have to. If he runs into that trap, and it kills him…"

"Don't fret, young one," Vastra says in a calming voice. "Your father is a very clever man. One of the cleverest people I've ever known…and the most stubborn." Her statement makes me laugh, knowing that to be all too true. I definitely get my stubbornness from both of my parents. "I don't disagree that he should have had someone else go in his place. But having you go in his place…I'm afraid I must disappoint you in agreeing with your father there."

"You don't trust me, do you?" I grunt, rolling my eyes. "You think I'm irresponsible, that I'm too young to be traveling with Dad." Why else would she also want me out of harm's way? All adults are the same, not allowing their kids—or anybody young in general—anywhere they shouldn't. Not giving them a chance to show how mature they really are, no matter what their elders might think. This has been something that's ticked me off my whole life, especially since I've started travelling with Dad. I mean, I get that he wants to keep me safe because I'm his daughter, but I don't get that he always has to treat me like a kid, even at eighteen; like my body is made of china that would easily break if dropped on the floor. Why can't he see that I'm not as delicate as I look; that I can take care of myself? That I don't always need protecting?

Vastra pauses, taken aback. "I never said such words, nor have I ever thought such thoughts."

I can't seem to stop the words from tumbling out of my mouth, to contain the anger boiling in my veins. "I know I'm only eighteen and lack experience in what Dad does for a living, but I want you guys to know that I do have what it takes! I can save the world just as easily as he can! I just wish you guys would give me a chance!"

Vastra sighs, keeping calm. "As much as he wants you to have that chance, as do I, he believes you are not yet ready. Besides which, it is not my place to decide what is best for you. That is for your father to decide, and he has decided that assisting me is the best and safest course of action for you. He has tasked me to keep you safe in his absence, and I must abide to his commands. I understand your frustration, Nova, but this is what is best for everyone, especially you. I suggest that you abide to your father's wishes, for he would not want any harm to come to you."

I sigh guiltily, knowing she is right about everything she said. "I'm sorry. I just…I hate not being normal, you know?" I then see Vastra's raised eyebrow, like she's unfamiliar with the word, and I explain, "I mean, I hate not being a regular teenager, to never be allowed to go anywhere that might be dangerous. But the thing is, there's danger literally around every corner. I'm bound to face danger at some point; hell, I already have, several times! I should be able to face and conquer the danger without the need for protection all the time. But because of what I am, I can't be normal; Dad actually admitted that. I wish I could prove him wrong, but I don't think I can. I've seen proof that as a Time Lord, nothing is ever going to be normal. In fact, nothing has ever been normal in my life. Not one thing!" I can feel my body shaking and my hearts-rate elevating out of frustration.

Vastra pauses for a minute before responding, "I understand. Because you are different, you think you don't belong, that you don't fit in. I, too, know what that feels like."

"You do?" I ask, feeling somewhat doubtful. How can she possibly know what I've been dealing with, when we've never met before this adventure?

She nods, gesturing to her veil over her face. "Of course. Why do you think I wear this veil in public?"

I shrug. "To hide your face. To hide the fact that you're not human." If that's not obvious, I don't know what is.

"Yes, that too," she nods again. "However, I wear this veil for another reason. The oldest reason there is for anything."

"Which is?" I ask, puzzled.

"To be accepted," she confirms. "I wear a veil to keep from view what many are pleased to call my 'disfigurement.' I do not wear it as a courtesy to such people but as a judgement on the quality of their hearts." Her words sound more angered as she speaks them, and I can't help feeling guiltier.

"I-I mean…I would never think of you that way," I say, feeling awkward.

"But you did, when we first met," she says pointedly, and it makes me think back to the time when I was sitting in a Victorian-style carriage with two aliens for company (Vastra and Dad), which I found highly amusing at the time; however, I didn't realize how much that seemed to anger Vastra until now. "I could see it in your eyes. You judged my appearance with much amusement…just as you judge yourself now."

"What?" I say with a frown, feeling slightly offended. How in the hell am I judging myself?

"You treat yourself like a burden because you do not see yourself as 'normal,'" she says in a judgmental tone. "You resent your 'powers,' despite them having saved your life many times, as well as your father's. He told me the story of how you saved his life during your previous adventure with him. He also told me that you seem to hate yourself for not being human, and that you don't seem to realize that your 'non-humanness,' as you call it, has benefited you in many ways. You wish for us to give you a chance to prove yourself, but you refuse to give yourself a chance. You refuse to remove your own veil. You refuse to be accepted as you are. Tell me I'm wrong."

Her words leave me totally speechless, as well as immensely guilty. I don't appreciate myself for judging Vastra's lizard-like appearance; however, I am astounded that everything she said about me, I realize, is actually true. I never realized until now that I have actually been judging myself my entire life. Apparently, even Dad has noticed this; though he, surprisingly, never said anything about it, at least not to me. Like Vastra said, I always thought my otherworldly powers were a burden, but they've actually benefited me since the beginning. If it weren't for my regenerative abilities, the aspirin would have killed me outright, same for when I used them to resurrect my father from permanent death. Without my otherworldly abilities, neither of us would still be alive today.

I also realize that Vastra and I have something in common: we both want to be accepted. Vastra wants to be accepted, despite her 'disfigurement' (not that I would call it 'disfigurement,' as she is actually very beautiful), and I want to be accepted as a normal person, despite being Time Lord. Of course Vastra knows what being different feels like; she's practically gone through the exact same thing as me her whole life.

"You're…not wrong," I admit uncomfortably, feeling immensely awkward.

"So now you understand," Vastra smiles under her veil. "You and I are very much alike."

"Yes, I see that now," I say, smiling back. "I'm sorry I judged you."

"No apology necessary," she says, shaking her head. "I just wanted to help you open your eyes."

"They're open now…" I nod. "Mostly." I know it's been a huge struggle to accept my non-humanness, but I hope I learn to accept it.

One day.

After a minute of awkward silence, I ask Vastra curiously, "So… How…uh…how is someone like you able to exist here in Victorian London? I mean, you're from the Prehistoric Period, right; like, back when the dinosaurs still existed? That was, like, billions of years ago. How is it that you're still here? Alive?" If she's been alive this whole time, she must be billions of years old, which would be even older than my father.

Vastra seems to perk up at this somewhat happier topic. "Yes, I was born in what you call the 'Prehistoric Period.' I saw the dinosaurs when I was a little girl; I was even able to identify their gender at that age. During that time, my people built a city under the surface of the Earth while the dinosaurs thrived up top. One day, after hearing an explosion from the surface, which had extinguished all living things up top, my people, including myself, went into stasis to protect ourselves. Millions of years later, in the year 1880, I was awakened by a group of human workers that were constructing the tunnel system that would be the London Underground. They ended up slaughtering my family by accident, but at the time I believed it was intentional. I avenged my sisters by slaughtering them back, and that was when I met your father. He convinced me not to give into my rage and to attempt to make peace with the humans instead. I reluctantly agreed, and I integrated myself into this 'Victorian' world as a private detective."

"And Jenny…" I ask with a raised eyebrow. "Is she… Are you guys…together?"

She nods. "Yes, we are 'together.' She is my maid and wife."

"Oh! She's your wife! That would explain why you've been so worried about her." I feel like an idiot for having not realized this sooner.

"Yes," she says in a seemingly worried tone. "I hope your father is able to find her and bring her home. She's been away from me for far too long."

"She's not dead; we know that now," I say with much confidence. "He'll find her. I know he will." I then say to myself in a soft murmur, "I just hope those creepers don't find him first." Needless to say, if that happens, we're massively screwed.

Suddenly, as if on cue, a bloodcurdling scream is heard from a nearby house.

Speaking of which, I think in my head as a response to the scream, it sounds like they may have found us first.

"Come!" Vastra calls to me, gesturing for me to follow her. "We must help!"

We run toward the house, and I attempt to open the door, but I find that it's locked. I pound on the door, yelling, "Please! Let us in! We want to help! Come on, open the door!" I continue pounding on the door, and it eventually opens. I don't think twice as I push myself past the homeowner, and once I enter the small living room within, I am met with a horrific sight. A massive tarantula the size of a bowling ball scuttles across the floor, and once it approaches one of the homeowners—a lady who appears to be in her late sixties—it leaps up and seemingly tackles the woman to the floor, stabbing her eyes through her skull with its spindly legs. The woman screams in pain and agony.

"Fudgeknuckle!" I scream in horror. I immediately grab the nearest blunt object I can find—the skinny neck of a lamp—and attempt to whack the spider. I manage to swat it off of the poor woman's body and flatten it against the floor, but I am unable to properly kill it, as it manages to dodge my attack. The spider then attempts to come after me, but I kick it away with my foot, sending it crashing behind the family's dining table.

"Whose fear is this?" I yell over the family's terrified screams. "Tell me! I can help!"

"My son!" a younger woman—presumably the daughter of the old woman—gestures to a small boy writhing on the family's couch, his eyes squeezed firmly shut. I realize that this boy is asleep and is having a nightmare—a nightmare of the giant spider attacking his own family in his own house.

I immediately run to the boy's side and attempt to wake him by shaking his shoulders. "Wake up! Come on! You need to wake up!" I lightly slap the boy on the cheek, but he doesn't respond; he doesn't even flinch. I grunt to the young woman, who I assume to be the boy's mother, "He won't wake! Quick! What's something that can wake him? Can you do something? Please! Tell me!"

"I-I tried singing to him, b-but it didn't work!" the mother says, growing more and more desperate.

"Did you try whispering to him?" I suggest. "Talking to him? What's something that makes him happy, or laugh? Come on, think of something!" That's something my guardians always taught me when I was scared.

"I-I don't know!" the mother says, seemingly losing all hope. "I don't know what to do! My poor boy!" She leans over and strokes the boy's hair in a fruitless attempt to wake him.

"Perhaps I could try something!" I suggest to the mother. "Will you let me near your son?" She pauses, unsure, and I say, "I can help him! Please, trust me!"

"Please, miss!" the mother says, stepping aside. "Do something!"

"What's your boy's name?" I ask as I kneel beside him.

"Henry!" the mother replies with tearful eyes.

"Right," I nod as I hand her the lamp neck. "Keep the spider away from us! I'll try to wake him!" I then lean over Henry, who continues writhing on the bed in his sleep. I begin whispering softly to him. "Henry? Can you hear me? My name is Nova. I'm here to help you. I don't like spiders either, but you know what, it's not real. What you're seeing is just an illusion. Please, you must wake up!" I pause, but Henry continues screaming, unable to wake. I try again. "Come on, Henry! You can do it! Wake up! Don't let it control you!"

It's no use. The boy continues screaming. Meanwhile, the spider continues to attack the family, who are unable to keep the creature at bay any longer.

I suddenly get an idea. An awesomely clever idea! There is a moment in the third Harry Potter book/film, when Ron Weasley faces a Boggart in the form of his worst fear—a spider—and he has to use magic to turn it into something funny. I wonder if I can use that same idea, and get the boy to picture the same thing. Perhaps that'll help him overcome his fear.

I realize that simply speaking to him isn't going to do much good, and I am left with only one other option.

Under normal circumstances, I would not attempt something like this on strangers, but I don't have any other choice. I place my hands on Henry's temples, and I bring the knowledge and skill that Dad had taught me to the forefront of my brain.

'Henry,' I whisper in his head, 'I know you can hear me now. I'm trying to help you. You're scared of spiders; I'm scared of them too. You're not alone. But there's a way to deal with them. If you can't take the first blunt object you can find and whack it into a pancake, picture this. Put roller-skates on the spider's legs. Or, if you don't know what roller-skates are—in fact, I'm not sure if they even exist yet—think of your favorite pair of shoes and picture them with wheels on the bottom. Then take those shoes with wheels and picture them on each of the spider's legs. That'll give the spider a few issues. It'll be funny, trust me. Picture the spider with roller-skates on. Do it. Now.'

I pause and wait for the boy to calm slightly.

Luckily, it seems to work. I suddenly hear the sound of wheels behind me, and I turn to see the funniest sight I've ever seen. I fail to hold back a snort as I watch the spider struggle to stay upright due to old-fashioned-looking 'roller-skates' on each leg. The moment is short-lived as the mother takes the opportunity to smash the spider several times with the lamp neck until it eventually stops moving altogether. Once the spider 'dies,' Henry immediately wakes up with a gasp.

I smile proudly at him. "You did it! Nice job!"

"Mum!" Henry cries, reaching out toward his mother, who immediately runs to him and hugs him tightly.

"Oh, Henry!" the mother sobs. "Oh, my boy! You're alright!"

Breathless, I smile at the mother and son before I turn to the spider's carcass to see it crumble to ashes, much like the Master did after Strax shot him between the eyes.

"Thank you, miss," the mother eventually acknowledges me.

"No problem," I say, smiling back. I then glance at the other family members. A man, presumably the father, comforts the older woman, whose eyes are bloody, and I feel guilty that I wasn't fast enough to stop the spider from tearing out her eyes, but at least the lady survived, despite having to be blind for the rest of her life. "I'm so sorry," I say with heavy hearts.

"Whoever you are, young lady," the man says kindly, "you saved us. You saved my son. I am eternally grateful."

I smile back at him, but then I suddenly pause. There is someone standing out the window…

Someone with reptilian eyes.

I immediately run outside to find the reptilian-eyed stranger, completely ignoring Vastra, who asks with a puzzled frown, "Nova! Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back!" I tell her. "There's something I have to check!"

Not very far away, I see the reptilian-eyed man round a corner and into an alley (great, here we go again!), and I rush to follow. I manage to follow very closely behind until I come across a large clearing filled with dumpsters. Unfortunately, once I reach this area, I end up losing sight of the mysterious man in the white hospital coat.

"Shit! Where did he go?" I grunt.

I peek around some of the dumpsters, and I suddenly come across the reptilian-eyed man in the white coat again, only this time he doesn't run off. Instead, he approaches me with a devious smirk, which sends creepy vibes up my spine.

"Who are you?" I demand as he approaches me, and I suddenly find myself backing cautiously away from him. "What are you doing here? What do you want?"

I gasp as I suddenly back into the chest of another reptilian-eyed man with a similar lab coat. I try getting out of the way, but they end up surrounding me. Something in the back of my mind suddenly tells me that I've made a huge mistake leaving Vastra, but it's too late. The men position themselves around me, preventing me from running away, and once I realize this, my hearts immediately go into overdrive, the sense of danger reaching peak point.

The reptilian-eyed man I stupidly followed into the alley continues smirking at me, speaking for the first time in a raspy voice, "We want your fear…Time Lord."

I have no time to react as something sharp—the needle of a syringe—enters the side of my neck, and I feel a warm liquid enter my bloodstream. Not even a second later, my vision goes blurry, and I feel myself fall into a dark oblivion.

A/N: TO BE CONTINUED!

Two things:

1) I thought it would be interesting for Nova to influence history at least once in her life, and I had the idea of her "inventing" roller-skates; rather, giving the original inventor the idea of roller-skates. In real life, roller-skates were invented in the early 1700s, but for the sake of this story, I changed it where roller-skates weren't invented until the early 1900s. I imagined the boy (whose name I will also change for the sake of the story) Nova helps overcome his fear of spiders would later become the original inventor of roller-skates, but he got the idea from Nova; though Nova got the idea from JK Rowling (who included the roller-skates in the Boggart scene in the third Harry Potter book/film). Ultimately, when Nova came up with this idea in order to help the boy overcome his fear, she created a paradox, as the original person who came up with the idea of roller-skates is unknown (between Nova, the boy, or JK Rowling). This idea will be referenced again and explained better in a later chapter.

2) During the scene in the episode "Deep Breath" when Vastra and Clara have that tense conversation about Vastra's belief that Clara is judging the Twelfth Doctor because he had changed bodies, I imagined Vastra thinking of her conversation with Nova in this chapter, and she and Clara basically have the same conversation. The only difference is that in this chapter, Nova is judging herself, and in "Deep Breath" Clara is judging the Doctor.