Author's Note: Wow! I am BOWLED OVER by the number of comments I received this week! Thank you all so much for being so supportive! I want to be sure to reply to everybody, but I'm not sure how long that will actually take me, so rather than potentially be super late posting, I've decided to post the next chapter now, and I will reply to everyone's comments as soon as I can!
Thank you to Wikked, SeraphineWhist, 3399bexs, WindSongEnchantment (fifteen times!), and GraceMonroe for reviewing! (Glad I don't have to say that out loud because I would be out of breath, lol.)
Before we get started, I wanted to be sure to include a TRIGGER WARNING that this chapter contains demeaning, insulting dialogue directed at a person about her disability.
I also wanted to note that this chapter contains dialogue taken directly from Chapter 31 of Order of the Phoenix. More importantly, I wanted to note that trans rights are human rights. 3
Finally, I hope this chapter makes up for the last one!
Chapter Forty-One: Workarounds
Remus's revenge scheme cost Mairead two weeks' pay. While she wasn't exactly thrilled to lose the money, she was pleasantly surprised she still had a job at all. She had assumed that an unexcused absence - particularly an unexcused absence with absolutely no explanation as to where she was - would be the perfect excuse Umbridge was looking for to dismiss her, and indeed, Umbridge had notified her of the loss of income with a sing-song, "Be grateful you didn't lose more, Miss O'Keefe." But shortly after she returned, Professor Sprout pulled her aside and explained to her just how she had skated by with so few consequences.
It turned out that the other Order members on the faculty had done some quick thinking to cover for Mairead's anticipated absence. Arthur had taken a little trip to his sons' new joke shop, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, where Fred and George had loaded him down with as many Puking Pastilles as he could carry. Meanwhile, Sirius had dipped into the Polyjuice Potion supply in Mairead's lab, while Professor McGonagall stopped by Mairead's quarters and cleaned out her hairbrush. Mundungus had then spent all of Sunday and Monday in the Hospital Wing, disguised as Mairead and filling up bucket after bucket with vomit.
It had been a bit of a challenge to time things so that Mundungus did not immediately regurgitate the Polyjuice Potion, but he assured Mairead it had all been worth it. As he recounted at the Order meeting the following weekend, Umbridge had stormed into the Hospital Wing on Monday morning and demanded that "Miss O'Keefe" pull herself together and "see to her responsibilities." Mundungus then described in great detail the way he had thrown up all over Umbridge's pink cardigan.
"It got all over 'er li'le bow thingie, too!" he cried as nearly everyone around the table howled with laughter.
Everyone, that was, except Mairead and Remus, who studiously avoided looking at one another and did not quite see the hilarity that everyone else did. Mairead had barely been able to bring herself to go to the Order meeting that night, knowing that Remus would be there. As it was, she sat as far away from him as she possibly could, and did not allow herself so much as a peek at him, not even when McGonagall told everyone about the way Umbridge had docked Mairead's pay.
Every stray thought of Remus caused Mairead pain. She still had nightmares about his death, and still awoke crying and unspeakably afraid for him, but even in the sluggish moments of returning to reality, she was filled with such anger and resentment that she thought she would tear his eyes out if she ever had to speak to him again.
She could not believe how wrong she had been about him. Even in their bitterest moments in the past, Remus had never shown the slightest indication that he had such a cruel streak that he would purposely hurt himself just to get back at Mairead. Leaving completely alone how vindictive this was, it showed a disregard for Sirius's feelings that astounded Mairead. She did not understand why Sirius had been so quick to forgive Remus, but when she had arrived for the meeting, there he was, sitting by Remus's side, a little subdued, perhaps, but otherwise talking with him as though nothing had happened.
April turned into May, bringing bright sunshine, fair weather, and the loamy smell of new things growing. May was normally Mairead's favorite month. She loved being outside, feeling the earth softening beneath her feet, enjoying the gentle breeze kissing her face, eyes feasting on the explosion of color that springtime brought. But she was so wrapped up in her own unhappiness that the month was over before she even had time to acknowledge it.
She was desperately lonely. She told herself she was not allowed to miss Remus, but that only resulted in her getting angry at herself every time she yearned for him. She had taken to carrying one of his handkerchiefs around in her pocket, hating herself for how pathetic this was, but not able to bring herself to get rid of it. More and more, she volunteered to hang back from Order meetings so that other faculty members could go. Seeing Remus only brought her pain, but avoiding Grimmauld Place meant that she did not get to see Sirius, either, whom she also missed terribly.
Umbridge was now attending nearly all of Mairead's classes. The headmistress frequently interrupted her, speaking to her as though she were a toddler who barely understood English, and sought every opportunity to undermine her in front of her students. Hogwarts had always been a place of unhappiness and loneliness for Mairead. She had been rejected by so many of her peers when she had been a student that she had become accustomed to spending great swaths of time by herself. But she had not known until now just how much she had relied on the few friends that she had managed to make here. Ansel, Edgar, Sophie, and Cedric were all gone. Remus was gone and did not want her back. She could not even seek out Hermione, Ginny, Harry, or Ron for company, since teachers were not allowed to talk with students outside of classes. And the more time she spent feeling lonely and depressed, the more she withdrew, taking her meals alone, avoiding conversation at the Order meetings she did attend, and spending her spare time wandering the Hogwarts grounds by herself or sitting in her office staring listlessly out the window.
The Quidditch final took place the last weekend in May. Gryffindor won, thanks in large part to Ron's Keeping skills. At least, this was what Mairead overheard, not having attended the match herself, but having opted instead to mope around all day. Rather, she got a blow-by-blow at the Order meeting that night. McGonagall took advantage of Flitwick's absence (Ravenclaw having been the other House in the final) to recount the match in great detail. Bill and Charlie both particularly seemed to enjoy McGonagall's report of the match, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley looked as though they were bursting with pride every time their youngest son's name came up. Mairead picked at the jagged edges of her fingernails and listened with half an ear, feeling loneliness and heartbreak lance through her every time she heard Remus or Sirius exclaim at something the Head of Gryffindor said.
Back at Hogwarts, the jubilant mood that had been brought about by the Quidditch final only lasted a few short days, as the arrival of June brought a new frenzy to the castle. Everyone began frantically revising for finals, though none so much as the Fifth and Seventh Years. Mairead did her best to help her Fifth Year students feel as confident as they could walking into their O.W.L.s. She had dedicated the last two weeks before exams to revising as many methods of divination as possible, and had also taken advantage of her lighter teaching load to schedule one-hour, individual meetings with each of her Fifth Year students, so that she could answer questions and give them one-on-one attention. In spite of her best efforts, she feared that, with the choppy education they had received on the subject for the past three years, they were doomed not to do well on their Divination O.W.L.
Mairead avoided the Great Hall on the evening when the examiners from the Wizarding Examinations Authority arrived. She had no desire to run into Professor Marchbanks, who harbored a definite dislike for Mairead. Mairead could not imagine that the wizened witch's opinion of Mairead could have improved, given the recent jailbreak of her father, and so did her best to steer clear as the first of the two exam weeks began.
The day of the Divination O.W.L. arrived, and Mairead found herself nearly as nervous as her students. At the end of the day, she broke her self-imposed isolation and decided she wanted to eat in the Great Hall, not least of all because she hoped to catch sight of one of her students and ask how things had gone. Her stomach gave a leap when she saw a head of messy black hair accompanied by a tall, lanky ginger walking ahead of her.
She quickened her pace to try to catch up to them, and came up behind Harry and Ron just as she heard Harry say, "No more pretending we care what happens when Jupiter and Uranus get too friendly..."
Ron readily added, "And from now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell die, Ron, die - I'm just chucking them in the bin where they belong."
Harry laughed, but broke off abruptly when Hermione ran up behind them.
"Well, I think I've done all right in Arithmancy," she said, then added, "Oh, hello, Mairead!"
Ron and Harry whipped around, identical looks of surprise and guilt on their faces. "Oh. Hi," said Ron, the tips of his ears turning red. "You didn't - I don't suppose -"
Mairead couldn't help but snort with laughter at the sight of their comical expressions. "I mean, honestly, fair," she said with a shrug.
Hermione shuffled her feet impatiently. "Well, we'd love to stay and chat," she said with a pointed glance at the boys. "But we only have a few minutes to look over our star charts before dinner. Our Astronomy O.W.L. is tonight at eleven."
Mairead nodded, not realizing how happy she had been to see friendly, familiar faces until she felt disappointment seep into her bones at Hermione's words. "Oh, yes! Right. Don't let me stop you. Best of luck," she said, trying for a hearty tone.
Harry gave her a regretful smile, seeming to sense her loneliness. Mairead forced a bright smile onto her face and waved while Hermione steered the two boys away towards Gryffindor Tower.
All at once, Mairead did not much feel like eating in the Great Hall anymore. She decided to go for a walk. It had been a while since she had gone outside, and she could use the fresh air. She wandered the grounds aimlessly, watching the sun paint streaks of red and orange in the sky. She heard the shouts of laughter of students chasing one another and letting off steam, and smiled at the carefree sound. She remembered how good it had felt to have exams over and done with. She looked over at the running students, her mind bringing her back in time, back to when things had at least been simpler, and Cedric had never been far away.
The next thing she knew, she was crying.
Mairead stopped in her tracks, horrified that she was crying in public, in plain view of anyone who could walk by. Wiping her face hastily with both hands, she took off for the willow tree down by the lake. It had always been her favorite hiding spot. No other students ever hung out under this tree, preferring a nearby beech tree, or a sunny spot closer to the water. The boughs hid her from view from the outside, and it was for this reason that this tree had always been her preferred spot for crying.
She ducked and weaved her way towards the middle of the tree, then fell to her knees, her vision obscured by tears. Wondering just how many of her tears this tree had absorbed over the years, she leaned against the tree trunk like it was an old friend, and gave herself over to the pain she was feeling.
She had not intended to fall asleep, but when she awoke, night had fallen. Judging from the moon's position in the sky, she had been asleep for hours. Chalking it up to the months of poor sleep she had been getting, Mairead rubbed her eyes vigorously and stiffly rose to her feet, using the tree trunk for support.
One of Mairead's feet had fallen asleep, and it was slow going back up to the castle. She limped along, and had stopped to give her tingling foot a vigorous shake to try to rid it of the pins and needles sensation when something caught her eye.
The doors to the castle had opened, and from what Mairead could see, a small contingent of people were making their way down the lawn. Turning her head in the direction of their footsteps, Mairead judged they were heading to Hagrid's cabin. Frowning now, Mairead changed directions so that she could bring herself closer while staying out of sight. The others beat her to Hagrid's cabin, and Mairead watched the person in front raise a hand and knock on the door. Once she had drawn nearer, Mairead saw that Umbridge was leading the group, and there were five others behind her, all dressed in the scarlet robes of Aurors. "Open up, in the name of the Hogwarts High Inquisitor and the Ministry of Magic!" came Umbridge's voice, no trace of false sweetness now.
Mairead saw lights flare through the windows in Hagrid's cabin, and she quickly ducked behind some thick shrubbery to hide herself from view when Hagrid came to the door.
"Wha-" Hagrid began, taking in the sight of the six people standing at his door.
"Let us in at once, Hagrid," Umbridge ordered imperiously.
Looking sleepy and dumbfounded, Hagrid stepped back, letting the six figures into his cabin and closing the door.
Mairead hesitated. She strained her ears to hear what was going on inside the cabin, wishing she had Remus's sharp hearing. It was no good. She inched closer to the cabin, careful to stay in shadow and walking doubled over so that she could not be seen through the windows. She noticed that several windows had been propped open with thick sticks, and she made a mad, hunched dash until she came to crouch beneath them.
Getting closer turned out not to be strictly necessary, however, as just when she caught the tail end of Umbridge saying, "... under arrest for the deliberate, repeated, and premeditated attacks on the Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and a Ministry official -" Hagrid let out a roar that Mairead was certain could have been heard from the castle itself, let alone over by the shrubs she had been hiding behind.
"I warn you, Hagrid," Umbridge said, her voice rising shrilly in what sounded like fear. "If you do not come quietly -"
There was an explosion of noise then. The door to Hagrid's house burst open, causing Mairead to jump so high she cracked her head on the sill of the window she was crouching beneath. Mairead watched, mouth open in shock and dismay, as Hagrid came thundering out of his cabin, flanked on all sides by the Aurors, who were now shooting jets of red light straight at him.
Mairead shouted, "Stop!" but her voice was lost amidst the chaos playing out before her.
"I won' go back ter Azkaban!" Hagrid roared, angry like Mairead had never seen from the gentle-natured man before.
The Aurors continued to shoot Stunners at Hagrid, but they ricocheted off him and went bouncing in all directions. Mairead gasped and threw herself to one side just in time to avoid being hit by one of the spells that had gone askance.
One of the Aurors shouted, "Be reasonable, Hagrid!"
"Reasonable be damned!" Hagrid retorted, his voice thunderous over the shouts and cries of the other Aurors. "Ye won' take me like this, Dawlish!"
Just then, Mairead saw Fang emerge from Hagrid's cabin and jump into the fray. His teeth were bared and he snarled viciously, leaping to Hagrid's defense. Mairead screamed when one of the Stunners hit the dog and he fell to the ground, unconscious. Something had to be done. Mairead leapt to her feet, wand in hand, and starting shooting every spell she could think of at the Aurors, but it immediately became apparent that Hagrid was not the one who needed help.
Whipped into a fury by the attack on his dog, Hagrid grabbed hold of the Auror whose spell had hit Fang, lifted him up as if he weighed nothing, and launched him across the lawn.
Umbridge and the four remaining Aurors redoubled their attacks on Hagrid, and Mairead drew closer now. "Liberare!" she cried, pointing her wand at the nearest Auror. His fingers went limp and his wand dropped to the ground. The man's head whipped around in search of the voice who had disarmed him, but both he and Mairead were soon distracted.
"How dare you!" came a woman's stern voice. "How dare you!"
Mairead's heart gave a hopeful leap. It was McGonagall. Surely she would quickly get this situation under control.
"Leave him alone!" McGonagall cried. "Alone, I say! On what grounds are you attacking him? He has done nothing, nothing to warrant such -"
McGonagall's voice was cut off as Umbridge and three of the Aurors all fired on her simultaneously. Four Stunners hit McGonagall, giving her the appearance of being lit from within by an ominous red light. Then she was blown backwards, crashed to the ground, and was still.
Mairead was temporarily frozen with shock. She stared, eyes wide and horrified, at the Deputy Headmistress, lying crumpled on the ground. She might not have been a trained Healer, but she knew that even a single Stunning spell was quite a shock to a person's system. Multiple Stunners had the potential to be lethal.
Her need for secrecy forgotten, Mairead threw herself towards McGonagall. She dropped to the ground and groped for the witch's wrist. She felt for a pulse as all around her, shouts and screams filled the air. She did not look away from McGonagall long enough to see what was going on, but she could hear Hagrid bellowing, could hear the sounds of heavy blows landing.
Mairead was unable to detect a pulse in McGonagall's wrist, and reached for her throat instead. There, she found a faint but alarmingly fast pulse thrumming beneath her fingers.
"Get him, get him!" she could hear Umbridge scream from somewhere behind her. Mairead shot a look over her shoulder and saw that everyone was down except for Umbridge, one Auror, and Hagrid, who had thrown his dog over his shoulder and was haring for the gates. Now was as good a chance as she was likely to get.
"Mobilicorpus!" she whispered, watching McGonagall rise off the ground and hover in the air. Mairead pushed herself to standing and took off running for the castle, McGonagall's unconscious form keeping pace with her.
She found the Entrance Hall packed with people, drawn, no doubt, by the commotion. Several people gasped and one student screamed at the sight of McGonagall.
"What have you done to her, O'Keefe?" one male student demanded, eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"Don't be daft, Michael, you saw yourself what happened!" snapped Ginny Weasley. "Is she going to be okay, Mairead?"
"I need to get her to the Hospital Wing," said Mairead, panting and trying to shove her way through the throng of students. "Excuse me. Pardon me, could you please -"
"OI! EVERYONE NEEDS TO CLEAR A PATH NOW!"
In the brief silence that fell over the crowd, a path parted for Mairead.
"Thanks, Ginny," she said, hastily but carefully directing McGonagall's form through the opening in the students.
Mairead ran into Professor Flitwick on the way to the Hospital Wing. Flitwick, who was wearing a blue and bronze dressing gown, quickly turned on his heel and ran several paces ahead of Mairead, waving his arms and shouting for any students who were late to the spectacle to move out of the way.
"I'll go wake Madam Pomfrey!" Flitwick said when they entered the corridor where the Hospital Wing was located. He took off, running impressively quickly for how short his legs were.
Mairead delicately guided McGonagall through the doors to the Hospital Wing, taking care not to let the witch bump into the door frame.
"Oh, my goodness - what's happened?" Madam Pomfrey gasped, emerging from her office with a hand over her mouth.
"She was hit by four Stunners," Mairead said. "She's tachycardic and she's got an arrhythmia. Pulse is two hundred ten beats per minute."
"Four Stunners?!" repeated Madam Pomfrey. "We must get her into a bed immediately!"
Mairead maneuvered McGonagall's body into the bed indicated by Madam Pomfrey. The nurse hurried over. Using the knuckle of one finger, she vigorously rubbed McGonagall's sternum. The witch did not stir. "What can I do?" Mairead asked, rolling up her sleeves.
"Fetch me a Draught of Peace," the nurse responded, already waving her wand over McGonagall, a look of intense concentration on her face. "We've got to slow her heart rate down. Rennervate."
Mairead hurried over to the supply cabinet and returned with the potion in question. McGonagall had not awoken at Madam Pomfrey's spell.
"What happened, Mairead?" Flitwick asked in a concerned voice. "Did you see?"
Mairead nodded and recounted what she had witnessed at Hagrid's cabin. When she had finished, Madam Pomfrey was even more outraged.
"Disgusting!" she spat. "What absolutely, completely reprehensible, disgusting behavior! What kind of cowardice does it take to go four-to-one against a woman without even a warning?"
"Is she going to be okay?" Mairead asked anxiously.
Madam Pomfrey clicked her tongue and regarded McGonagall grimly. "I am afraid this may be beyond my abilities," she said. "This level of spell damage at her age... she needs to go to St. Mungo's."
"What can I do to help?" Mairead asked again, her stomach in knots. "I can take her there, or -"
"Mairead," Professor Flitwick intervened. "I think it would be best if you went back to your quarters. Umbridge is clearly on a tear. If she finds out that you were involved the way you were - if she even finds out that you helped Minerva -"
"But I can help," Mairead argued, looking to Madam Pomfrey for support. "I'm not trained, but I know some stuff. I can help."
Madam Pomfrey shook her head sadly. "Filius is right, Mairead," she said. "You should go. I can get her stable enough to travel. You've done enough."
Mairead bit her lip uncertainly. Professor Flitwick spoke again. "The best thing you can do to help is not to give Poppy another patient to look after. You can't take the risk of staying here, or it could be you in the next bed over before long. Go back to your quarters. If anyone asks, tell them you slept through the whole thing."
Mairead sighed fretfully, but nodded. "Okay," she mumbled. "Good luck, Madam Pomfrey."
She did her best to avoid being seen as she made her way back to the East Wing. If Flitwick's plan was to be followed, she had to have as few witnesses as possible who could report having seen her out tonight. Not that this would be an easy task, given the number of students who had seen her transporting McGonagall to the Hospital Wing in the first place. She was wondering just what Umbridge would do to her if she found out that Mairead had disarmed one of the Aurors when she rounded the corner into the corridor where her quarters were located and saw something that made her skid to a stop.
Umbridge was standing outside Mairead's office door, flanked by two Aurors, one of whom was nursing a bloodied nose.
"Miss O'Keefe!" she called imperiously, knocking on the door. "Come out at once!" Mairead stood stock still, wishing for all the world that she was invisible. When there was no answer from within, Umbridge pounded on the door. "Come out right now, O'Keefe!" she shouted angrily. "By order of the Ministry of Magic, you are ordered to surrender your wand and come out with your hands in the air!"
Mairead slowly began backing up, holding her breath. She tried to keep her movements small and silent, but just as she was about to duck back around the corner, one of the Aurors glanced over and saw her.
"There she is!" he cried, reaching for his wand.
Mairead threw herself around the corner, fumbling for her own wand.
"Surrender yourself now, Miss O'Keefe!" Umbridge called, her voice positively dripping with triumph. "You are wanted for questioning in the disappearance of Albus Dumbledore, as well as in the matter of stolen magical techniques."
Mairead acted without thinking. Reaching into her pocket, she withdrew the handkerchief she had never been able to convince herself to get rid of. She touched the tip of her wand to the cloth and focused on transfiguring it. There was no solid plan in her head; just a half-formed thought based on a stressful memory. She watched the white fabric turn rigid and shiny. Inching closer to the corner, Mairead adjusted the angle of the small mirror that was now in her hand. She could clearly see the two Aurors. They were spreading out into a formation, wands in hand. As she watched, one was counting down on his fingers. Mairead carefully aimed her wand at the mirror.
"Depulso!"
The Banishing Charm hit the mirror, bounced off its surface, and went zinging around the corner, hitting the Auror with the nosebleed right in the face. Like a hurricane-force wind had hit him, the Auror was blasted off his feet and into the stone wall of the corridor. Mairead heard his head hit the stone with a crack! and then he crumpled to the ground, unconscious.
"AFTER HER!" Umbridge screeched.
Mairead turned tail and ran, but the corridor was long. She knew she wouldn't get away without a fight. Aiming her wand backwards over her shoulder, she shouted, "Fumos!"
She heard exclamations of surprise, the corridor filling with smoke. All this allowed her was to gain some distance on her two pursuers, though. Mairead dashed down the stairs, hoping against hope that she would be able to get out of the castle and under the cover of darkness before they caught up to her.
"Locomotor Mortis!" she heard the Auror shout just before the Leg-Locker Curse hit her. She felt her legs snap together and went crashing down the rest of the stairs and onto the stone floor below.
She managed to twist herself around and saw that the Auror was already halfway down the stairs, and Umbridge had begun her descent. "Spongify!" she shouted, aiming her wand at the stairs. The stones turned soft and mushy. Umbridge gave a scream of fury as she sank down to her waist, and the Auror's momentum led him to overbalance and fall flat on his face.
Mairead would have loved to stick around and laugh, but instead, she aimed her wand at her legs, gasped, "Finite Incantatum!" and got her badly scraped and bloodied but still functional legs under her.
She had made it to the first floor by the time the Auror caught up to her. She heard the sound of pounding footsteps approaching her and turned just as he shouted, "Incarcerus!"
Ropes shot out the end of his wand and towards Mairead. "Repello!" she cried, swishing her wand to one side. The ropes veered off course, following the direction of her wand and falling, useless, out an open window.
The Auror's mouth fell open in surprise at the unexpected bit of spellwork, and Mairead saw her opening. "Depulso, magicum!" she shouted, and watched in triumph as the Auror's wand whipped out of his hand and followed the ropes out the window.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Umbridge's voice rang through the corridor. "DON'T JUST STAND THERE - GRAB HER!"
The Auror looked back over his shoulder at Umbridge, who was hurrying towards them as fast as her squat legs could carry her. Turning back to Mairead, the Auror rushed at her.
Mairead easily sidestepped him and watched him run right past her. The Auror skidded to a halt, but before he could turn around, Mairead stepped up behind him and jumped him, locking her right elbow around his throat. Feeling her forearm notch into place beneath his jaw, Mairead formed a triangle with her left arm to brace the position and help her hold steady while the Auror bucked and struggled.
Mairead gritted her teeth and held on for all she was worth. I just have to last eight more seconds...
It was the longest eight seconds of Mairead's life, but then, just as Coach Omer had always promised his students would happen, the Auror went limp in Mairead's arms. She released her grip and let him collapse to the ground.
Umbridge stopped in her tracks, face white with shock. "What have you done to him?" she demanded. "You've strangled him!"
"No, I just temporarily cut off the blood supply to his brain," said Mairead. "Strangling takes much longer, but the brain can only maintain consciousness for about ten seconds when blood flow is cut off."
Umbridge's eyes flashed with victory. "You've attacked an Auror! That's Azkaban for you now, O'Keefe!"
"We'll see about that," said Mairead, walking backwards while she spoke. She was almost to the doors. If she could just make it a few more feet -
Umbridge pulled out her stubby wand and aimed it at Mairead's chest. "Stupefy!" she cried.
Mairead blocked the spell nonverbally, using the same Repelling Charm she had used on the ropes.
Umbridge's bug eyes grew somehow even wider. "Petrificus Totalus!"
Mairead blocked the spell and sent her own spell Umbridge's way in a quick riposte. She watched with no small amount of satisfaction as the bow on Umbridge's head came alive and started chewing on her iron-grey curls.
Umbridge screamed and began tearing at the hair accessory. Mairead took advantage of the High Inquisitor's distraction and took several large leaps backwards towards the doors, getting ever closer but not foolish enough to turn her back.
Umbridge sent a Knockback Jinx Mairead's way. Mairead's mouth twitched into a smile as she deftly avoided it; the Knockback Jinx had always been one of Remus's top choices when dueling her. With a flick of her wand, Mairead directed a Shrinking Charm at Umbridge's cardigan. It began tightening around Umbridge's girth until the buttons pinged off and went flying across the corridor.
With a yell of frustration, Umbridge tore the cardigan off her body before it could restrict her ability to use her arms. "How are you doing this?!" she shrieked, green sparks flying out of the tip of her wand in her rage.
"Because I'm a witch, arsehole," said Mairead, flicking her wand and blocking another of Umbridge's weak spells.
"You're a Squib!" Umbridge shouted, sending a volley of spells that were so disjointed by her anger that several of them didn't even travel the full distance to where Mairead was standing before they fell to the ground with small fizzles. "Who taught you to duel?!"
Mairead twitched an eyebrow. "I think you know him," she said. "Remus Lupin?"
Umbridge's face twisted with fury. "The half-breed?!" she said, looking for all the world as though the word was acid in her mouth.
Umbridge's discarded cardigan rose off the floor as though a ghost had donned it, wound up its sleeve, and slapped Umbridge hard across the mouth with a satisfying snap. Umbridge yelped in pain.
"I told you not to call him that," Mairead said coldly.
Umbridge screamed in anger again. "You are disgusting!" she cried. "You are nothing but a filthy little thief! A freak who conspires with werewolves to steal magic you have no right to possess!"
"Accio, wand!"
Umbridge's wand slipped from between her fingers and flew gracefully into Mairead's outstretched hand. Mairead considered it for a moment, then tossed it carelessly out the window. "Think what you like," she said with a shrug, backing up. "But chew on this as you're trying to get to sleep tonight: if what you say is true, then you get to go back to the Ministry and explain to Fudge how you lost a duel to a Squib."
She was at the entrance now. She gave one of the doors a shove with her free hand and watched it swing open. She started out the door, but turned back at the last second. "Oh, and by the way," she said in a careless, offhand manner. "That werewolf and me? We're lovers."
With that, she took one more look at Umbridge's white, furious face, then turned and walked out the door.
Sirius was awoken by a flash of blinding white light. Groaning and shielding his eyes with his forearm, he sat up in bed. Squinting, he could just make out the form of Flitwick's eagle Patronus.
"You may be receiving company soon," the Patronus said in Flitwick's squeaky voice. "Around midnight tonight, Umbridge and a contingent of five Aurors attempted to arrest Hagrid. Hagrid escaped with his dog, but Minerva was injured in her attempts to come to his aid. Mairead and I brought Minerva to the Hospital Wing. Once she is stable, she will be transferred to St. Mungo's for treatment. I advised Mairead to return to her quarters and to remain there for her safety."
The Patronus faded into the air. Sirius scrambled out of bed and snatched his wand from the bedside table. He headed for the third floor to wake Remus, but encountered the man in question already on his way up the stairs to find Sirius.
"Did it wake you?" Sirius asked. Remus shook his head.
"I was still awake," he replied. How he was getting by on so little sleep was a mystery to Sirius. "Have you had any further word? Do you know if Mair-" Remus stopped himself before finishing his sentence.
"Let's get downstairs," Sirius suggested. "Hagrid could be here any minute."
Remus followed Sirius down to the ground level. The two men shuffled their feet nervously, waiting by the door. Eventually, Remus said, "Hagrid could probably use some tea when he gets here."
"Or something stronger, if he's gone up against Umbridge," Sirius agreed. In the kitchen, he sat at the table and let Remus brew the tea, knowing that his friend needed something to do with his body to keep his fears for Mairead under control. And, if Sirius was being totally honest with himself, he was pretty afraid for the girl, too.
"Mairead knows how to take care of herself," he said gruffly, not entirely sure if he was saying this to comfort Moony or to comfort himself. "She'll be fine."
Remus nodded and flashed him a tight smile, but Sirius saw a muscle jumping in the werewolf's jaw.
Sirius tried again. "Flitwick would have said something if -"
He broke off at the sight of Flitwick's Patronus, appearing again in the middle of the kitchen. "This is an update to my previous message," it began. "It would appear that Umbridge is cleaning house. Mairead has fled Hogwarts. It appears as though, after her unsuccessful attempt to arrest Hagrid, Umbridge went after Mairead. According to several portraits in the Entrance Hall, Mairead escaped, but her whereabouts are currently unknown."
The chair Sirius was sitting on fell over backwards as he stood up. Instead of bothering to set down the teacups in his hands, Remus simply let them fall to the ground and headed for the door.
"We'll check Hogsmeade first, do you think?" Sirius asked, not bothering to be quiet as he and Remus took the stairs three at a time.
"No," Remus said over his shoulder, nearing the stop of the staircase. "She would put as much distance between herself and Umbridge as possible. She wouldn't linger in Hogsmeade."
"Well, then where - oof!"
Remus had come to an abrupt halt at the top of the stairs and Sirius had crashed right into his back. Looking past his friend's shoulder, he saw what had stopped him in his tracks.
Mairead had just walked in the door. She looked windblown and distinctly shaken, but whole and solid and uninjured. She took in the sight of the two of them, wands in hand and looking ready for battle, and said, "You've heard?"
Remus was still standing stock still, clearly frozen in indecision, but Sirius felt no such qualms. He shoved his way past Remus, strode across the foyer, and pulled the redhead into his arms. "You had us worried for a minute, there," he said, his throat uncomfortably tight.
"I'm sorry," she said. Her voice was muffled and Sirius became aware that he was smothering her. He loosened his grip and eyed her.
"What's happened?" he asked urgently. "Flitwick sent a Patronus. We were all ready to storm the castle."
"It's Umbridge," she said, pulling away and looking agitated. "She tried to have Hagrid arrested."
"On what grounds?" Remus spoke up at last.
"Attacking a Ministry of Magic official."
"Hagrid attacked her?" asked Sirius. "That doesn't sound like him."
Mairead shook her head. "Someone's been putting nifflers in Umbridge's office," she said, rubbing a hand unsteadily across her forehead.
Sirius scoffed. "Nifflers?" he said scathingly. "They're practically harmless!"
"Not when you wear as many fecking rings as that crusty old toad does," Mairead spat bitterly.
Sirius laughed and ruffled Mairead's hair affectionately. "Too bad she's not one for necklaces. It could've gone for the throat and all our problems would be over."
Mairead laughed, but it was a breathy, shrill sound that made Sirius suspect she was barely holding herself together. "Let's go downstairs and have some tea and you can explain everything to us," he suggested.
Mairead obediently followed Sirius and Remus down to the basement kitchen. Sirius saw her eyes take in the shattered porcelain on the ground, but Remus waved a hand and the teacups repaired themselves instantly. She was silent while Remus prepared tea. When all three had seated themselves around the table, Sirius said, "Tell us what happened."
He and Remus listened in disgust and amazement to Mairead's account of what had occurred earlier that night. Sirius had never met Umbridge - indeed, before she took up her post at Hogwarts he had never even heard of her - but by the time Mairead finished he decided he would very much enjoy watching a niffler gnaw off each and every one of her fingers. But even in his outrage over the actions of Umbridge and her Ministry minions, Sirius could not help but swell with pride at how Mairead had handled herself.
"Let me get this straight," he said when Mairead had fallen silent, staring unhappily into her untouched cup of tea. "You took on three people all at once? And won?"
Mairead shook her head. "No," she said. "It wasn't like that."
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "It sure sounds like it was like that."
Mairead got to her feet and began to pace. "That's not what's important," she said. She sighed fretfully. "Dumbledore is gone. Hagrid's gone. And McGonagall... Madam Pomfrey said she's transferring her to St. Mungo's. She said she needs more help than she can give her."
"What state was she in when you left?"
Mairead's mouth trembled. "S-she was unconscious, unresponsive to painful stimuli. Unresponsive to the Reviving Spell. She was tachycardic and she had an arrhythmia."
Sirius blinked. "I don't know what that last means."
"Her heart was beating too fast," she said. "More than twice what it should've been. And an arrhythmia is, like, an irregular heartbeat? Like a murmur?"
"Did Madam Pomfrey say what her prognosis was?" asked Sirius.
Mairead bit her lip and shook her head. She turned away from the two men then, arms hugging herself. She had gone quite quiet, but Sirius heard a very soft sniffle.
He looked over at Remus. Moony looked like he was being torn to pieces at the sight of her distress. His hands twitched, like he was longing to reach for her. But he did not move.
"Let's - let's just go to bed," Sirius suggested. "Things will look better in the morning."
Mairead nodded and turned back around, forcing a smile.
Sirius stood up. "I'll go wake Kreacher up. He'll get your room in order."
Mairead opened her mouth and began to argue but Sirius ignored her, striding over to the boiler room door and pulling it open. But the disgusting, filthy, wadded-up mess that was Kreacher's nest was empty. Sirius sighed in aggravation. "Where the - when's the last time you saw Kreacher?" he shot over his shoulder to Remus.
"I'm... not sure," said Remus slowly.
Sirius growled. His frustration with the house-elf collided with his restless energy. He was so sick of being pent up, of standing by doing nothing while his friends - hell, even his enemies - were out fighting the good fight. He needed something to do or he would burst. "That's it. I'm searching this house from top to bottom until I find that little cretin."
"No, don't!" said Mairead. "I'm fine. I'm not tired. I can -"
Sirius turned and faced off against her. "I'm searching for Kreacher. You can help me, or you can stay here and hang out with Remus. Your choice."
Mairead's eyes widened at the prospect of being left alone with the man who had sat in brooding silence the entire time they had been talking. "I'll help look," she said meekly, avoiding looking over at Remus.
Sirius, Remus, and Mairead agreed to split up. They would start at the bottom of the house and work their way up to the very top.
Remus stayed behind to do a more thorough search of the boiler room and pantry, while Mairead and Sirius went to the upper levels. He left Mairead to search the ground floor and went upstairs to search the first level. He headed first for the drawing room, sure Kreacher would be there, no doubt doing a rosary before the Black family tree, or something. No such luck. Sirius checked the couches and chairs, as well as inside the closet, but the room was empty.
He next went to the room Ginny and Hermione had shared over the summer. The room was dark, so he lit his wand to have a look around. The beds had been neatly made before the girls had left at the end of the Christmas holidays. Sirius smirked as he imagined the state Harry's and Ron's room would be in. He supposed he probably should have had them cleaned after they left.
He checked under the beds. Nothing. He checked inside the closet. Empty. He even pushed aside the drapes covering the windows, in case Kreacher was lurking behind them. But no. Closing the door behind him, Sirius made for the next room.
It took him longer than he had expected to search the entire first floor. There were multiple bedrooms, not to mention water closets, broom cupboards, and a window seat in the corridor that Sirius knew opened up into a storage chest.
With any luck, he'll have crawled in there and died, he mused darkly.
He had not.
More than half an hour had passed before Sirius deemed the first floor thoroughly Kreacher-less. He had not heard from Mairead or Remus, and so assumed they were still searching, too. Their plan had been for each of them to check every third floor, so Sirius headed for the fourth floor, where his own bedroom was located.
Sirius was thoroughly sick of searching the house for Kreacher by the time he finished scouring the fourth floor for the pest. Why had he thought it was such a good idea to perform a thorough search?
Oh, right, because Mairead and Remus are impossible to be in the same room with.
"Come out, Kreacher," he grumbled in a sing-song voice while he closed the door to his bedroom and headed for the next. "Or I'll wring your skinny little neck when I find you."
Dumbledore had warned Sirius that he needed to be kinder to Kreacher, as had Hermione constantly over the summer and Christmas holidays. It was just impossible to Sirius. Kreacher was devoted to everything Sirius hated. His unflagging loyalty - to this house, to the beliefs in pureblood supremacy and everything that it encompassed, to his mother, and, to a lesser extent, his father - filled Sirius with derision and scorn. He hated everything about this house. Everything that Kreacher loved and worshiped was absolutely detestable to Sirius. As far as he was concerned, the minute the war was over, he was torching the place. And Kreacher could burn alive in it, if he cared that much about it.
It had been more than an hour now, and there was still no sign of Kreacher. Then again, there was no sign of Mairead or Remus, either. The house felt eerily still and empty, like it was watching his every move, judging and breathing hot, moist, mildewy air down the back of his neck. Even after all the work they had done to clean the place up, Grimmauld Place still had the ability to raise the hairs on the back of Sirius's neck.
At the end of the fifth floor corridor Sirius met up with Mairead, who by now had finished her levels. He wrinkled his nose in distaste when they made their way up the rickety stairs to the dusty, moldy attic, the last of his floors. He wished he had left this level to Moony.
After cracking his head for the third time he looked enviously over at Mairead. At least she was able to walk upright, instead of doubled over as he was. She went outside to check for Kreacher in the garden. Inside, Sirius kicked at piles of junk, in case Kreacher had burrowed inside one of the them. He threw back the first of the mildewy sheets covering various pieces of furniture, only to cause a giant plume of dust and who-knew-what-manner-of-spores to billow into the air. After recovering from the resulting coughing fit, he checked more delicately under the remaining sheets. When Mairead came back inside and pronounced the garden empty, the two of them shone their wands into every darkened corner of the space, but Kreacher was nowhere to be found.
"Ugh, my parents really didn't get rid of anything, did they?" he remarked disgustedly to Mairead as he lifted up yet another sheet and found his baby crib beneath it.
Mairead smiled teasingly. "Aww, widdle baby Siwius swumberwing in his cwadle," she said, reaching for his cheek as if to pinch it.
"Anything you touch me with right now you're going to lose," he warned her.
Mairead retracted her arm, but a smile still played around her lips.
Sirius sighed and tipped his head from side to side. "Well, shall we -" He stopped then, his ears pricking up at something that sounded almost like a shout. "Did you hear that?" he asked Mairead. She shook her head. "I thought I heard something..." He made for the staircase. "I think it was coming from the floor below."
He heard it again. It was Remus's voice. He could tell that Mairead heard it that time, too.
"Maybe he's found Kreacher!" said Sirius, hurrying down the stairs.
He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and offered a hand to Mairead, who was clambering awkwardly down the steep and uneven wooden slats. He heard Remus's voice again, and cocked his head to one side to try to determine what room it was coming from.
"No! Nooo!"
Sirius locked eyes with Mairead. She looked as alarmed as he felt. As one, they took off at full-tilt.
"REMUS!" Sirius shouted as he ran. "WHERE ARE YOU?!"
"Mairead! MAIREAD!" came Remus's voice.
In a spurt of speed that would have surprised Sirius had he not been so afraid, Mairead shot ahead of Sirius in the direction of her old bedroom. The door was ajar. She shoved it the rest of the way open and hurtled into the room, only to grind to a halt just inside. When Sirius cleared the doorway and came up behind her, he saw why she had frozen.
Remus was kneeling on the floor in front of Mairead's open closet door. Sirius didn't even need an entire hand to count the number of times he had ever seen Remus cry. And he had never seen him cry like this before in his life. Sirius looked down and saw that Remus was cradling the body of a woman in his arms. His mouth fell open.
It was Mairead.
The Mairead on the floor's eyes were staring and unseeing. Her face was deathly white, and her lips were blue.
She was dead.
"Please, Mairead!" Remus begged, holding her body to his chest and rocking back and forth. "Please don't leave me."
Sirius looked at the woman standing just in front of him. She stared back at him, looking shocked beyond words. Suspicion gripped Sirius's heart.
He seized the woman by the shoulder with one hand and wrenched her around to face him. He took hold of his wand in the other hand and jabbed it into her throat. "What's my nickname for Mairead O'Keefe?" he demanded, teeth bared.
"Gryffindor," she answered at once.
"Why?"
"Because you said I should have been in Gryffindor when I wouldn't give you my wand when you broke into Hogwarts," she said.
Sirius stared at her hard for a few moments. When he was satisfied, he released Mairead and turned back to the scene in front of them. "Remus."
Remus startled and looked up, evidently unaware that anyone else was in the room. His bloodshot eyes flicked over the Mairead standing next to Sirius, then back to the corpse in his arms. "What -?" he said weakly.
All at once, Sirius knew what was happening, understood just how much had changed for Remus since the last time they had encountered one of these. Sirius pointed his wand at the dead body on the ground and said, "Riddikulus."
The Boggart burst into thousands of wisps and disintegrated. Remus lurched forward at the sudden emptiness in his hands. His chest heaved as it dawned on him.
Sirius looked over at Mairead. She was staring at Remus, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Just as she made a move to go to him, though, Remus stood up, pushed his way between Mairead and Sirius, and strode out of the room without a word.
Mairead looked at Sirius. "I -" she said faintly. She looked back at the spot where Remus had been kneeling next to the Boggart.
Sirius sighed. He had told himself he was done getting involved with the seemingly star-crossed relationship between Moony and his girl, but this was different. Mairead needed to understand. "Listen," he began gravely. "I know that things are... not good... between you and Remus. I know you feel betrayed. I know your trust in his character and motivations has been shaken. And, by all accounts, he seems to be uniquely gifted at pissing you off. But there is something you have got to understand about Remus."
He paused and glanced back at the ground in front of the closet. Then, he took Mairead by both shoulders and stared her straight in the eye. "I have known Remus for twenty-five years. The first time I saw his Boggart was when we were twelve years old, and the last time I saw his Boggart - before tonight - was last summer. Remus has changed a lot since he was a kid. He's learned and grown and gotten stronger in places and weaker in others. But one thing has been consistent across those decades. And that's his Boggart. Remus's Boggart has always been the same: the full moon. It was the full moon when he was twelve and it was the full moon last summer when he rescued Molly downstairs in the drawing room. I have never, not once, ever seen a Boggart take on any shape other than the full moon when faced with Remus. Until now."
Mairead's breath hitched. She tried to look away but Sirius gave her shoulders a little shake and went on. "I know he's not perfect. I know he lied to you. I know he went behind your back. And I know what you think was behind that decision. But here's the truth of the matter: for the first time in his entire fucking life, Remus has something he's more afraid of than himself. Did he lie to you? Yeah, he did. But did he do it out of some abusive urge to control and manipulate you? No. He did it because he was trying to stop his very worst fear from coming true. And his worst fear is no longer the wolf. It's losing you."
Sirius released her and stepped back. "That's all I have to say."
Mairead took a deep breath, blinking away tears. Then, so softly he almost could not hear her, she said, "I have to go."
Mairead raised her fist and knocked on the bedroom door. "Remus?" she called softly. "May I come in?"
There was no response. Mairead hesitated, then tried the doorknob. The door swung open, revealing the darkened bedroom that used to be theirs. Light from the fattening moon cast a faint glow on the desk, the bookcase, the gramophone. And standing by the window, leaning heavily on the sill with his back to her, was Remus.
She said his name again. There was a long silence. And then -
"I'm sorry."
Mairead paused uncertainly.
"I'm sorry, Mairead," Remus repeated, his voice heavy with pain and defeat. "I'm sorry for what I did. I know it was wrong. I know it was deceitful. I know it was... controlling. I know that I hurt you, and that I can't ever make it right."
His hands slid off the windowsill, and he slowly turned around and faced Mairead. She inhaled sharply at the sight of him.
He was bare before her. All of his walls, all of his guards, everything he used to protect himself, that stood between the two of them, that prevented anyone from getting too close to him, were all down. The look in his eyes told her that he was being completely vulnerable, something she had thought that he would never, ever, allow her to see.
"I know I've stood by my poor choices," he said bleakly. "I know I've been stubborn, as though digging my heels in somehow justified my actions. I'm sorry. Truly, I am. I have no excuse..." He looked down at the ground for a moment, and then his dark grey eyes looked directly into hers. "Only that I love you."
Mairead made a soft sound of surprise, but was otherwise unable to speak.
"I love you," Remus repeated. "I love you, Mairead. I love you like I have never loved anyone else in my life. I love you as I will never love anyone else ever again. I love you. I love you. I have nothing else to say for myself, only that I love you."
It took Mairead a few tries to remember how to speak, but when she did, she said, "I love y-"
"Don't," Remus cut her off. "Please don't."
She faltered. "Why?" she asked.
Remus looked like he was hovering on the edge of telling her, but then merely pleaded, "Just please. Please don't say it, May."
"But it's true," she argued softly.
"Please," he repeated. "Please just do this for me. Please don't say it."
Mairead nibbled on her lip thoughtfully. After a few moments, she asked, "Can I show you, instead?"
A spark of hope flared in Remus's eyes. "God, yes," he breathed.
Mairead crossed the room, seized him by the shirt, and crushed her mouth to his. Remus returned the kiss passionately. Mairead stood up on her toes, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and ran her fingers through his soft hair, but something was wrong. Remus's hands remained at his sides. After only a few moments, he broke the kiss and pulled away.
"Please, may I touch you?" he begged.
Mairead winced and suddenly recalled how she had told him months ago that he no longer had permission to touch her. With a drop in her stomach, she realized that he had followed her directive this entire time.
"Yes," she breathed. "Please, yes!"
Remus's hands came up then and wrapped around her back, and Mairead sobbed with relief. He pulled her back into the kiss, tightening his arms around her and holding her close. "I love you," he whispered against her lips. "I love you."
Mairead wanted to say it back. She wanted to protest this ridiculous request of his. But he had respected her boundary. He hadn't once touched her since she had told him not to, even in moments when she imagined it must have been difficult. He had even dropped his handkerchief onto the table in front of her when he had come upon her crying in the library, rather than hand it to her, a gesture which, at the time, she had thought was carelessness on his part, but which she now saw was just the opposite. She decided that she needed to show him the same respect. She owed him that much.
So when he pulled away to look deep into her eyes, cupped her face in his hands, and said, "I love you," she responded with, "I've wished for you to say that since Hogwarts."
And when he guided her over to the bed, pressed her back into the pillows, and breathed, "I love you," she said, "You're the most important person in the entire world to me."
And when he slowly, carefully sank into her, eliciting gasps and moans from both of them, and established a gentle, slow, deep rhythm, and groaned into her throat, "I love you," she answered, "I never want to be parted from you again."
And when they both went tumbling over the edge, one right after the other, and Remus cried, "I love you, Mairead!" she panted, "I promise there will never be anyone else."
And when he held her in his arms, heart racing, stroking her face and her hair and gazing at her with such open devotion it brought tears to her eyes, and murmured, "I love you, May," she whispered, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
They lay awake in each other's arms, caressing and kissing and whispering to one another until the sky began to lighten outside the window. Mairead was just starting to drop off when she felt Remus's chest rumble and heard him chuckle quietly. "What is it?" she mumbled. Remus smiled, turned his head, and kissed her hair.
"You have always been good at coming up with workarounds."
Author's Note: Do you forgive me for last chapter now? I know many of you were waiting for two of the things that happened in this chapter - for Umbridge to get her comeuppance and for Remus to finally stop Remus-ing for two seconds. Did they live up to your expectations?
Songs for this chapter: "Fuck You," Lily Allen (Mairead - the first part of the chapter, obviously!), and "Surrender," by WALK THE MOON (Remus)