Chapter 8:

POV: Jenny

Date: October 24, 2022

I blinked at the sight before me. Where there was once a pastel blue coat and a rainbow top there was now long dark wool and a brown suit across broad shoulders. Where there was once soft blonde hair, there was now spiky brown overtop a face I knew almost as well as my own. One I'd never thought I would see again.

Tears pricked at my eyes, and I let out a laugh that sounded just shy of manic, even to my ears. "Has this ever happened before? You going back to an old face."

Dad stared down at his hands in wonder. "Not like this—not in my memory." His eyes locked on Mum then. "I wonder if you all being back inspired me." He swallowed down an obvious lump in his throat.

Mum's eyes were filled with tears despite her smile. "Doctor, you know I can't stay."

He nodded. "Yeah."

Mara and I turned more fully to look at her. "You're leaving?" Mara's voice broke over the words. She sounded every bit the sad little girl that I felt I was in this moment.

"You know I have to, girls." Mum walked forward to take a hand from each of us. "I'm sure you know why I've been traveling back through the vortex. I have to save your dad, or we may never get to have this moment."

I shivered over her choice of words, and swallowed down the grief that was clawing at my hearts. "We wanted more time. I wanted…" I let out a shaky breath, and closed my eyes. I felt Mum's hand gently come up to cup my cheek. "I wanted more time with you."

She pulled me into a hug. "My sweet girl. No amount of time would ever be enough with you. Any of you." She stepped back just enough to look at me and swipe away the tears from my cheeks. "At least this time, I get to know that you're all together. And safe." She kissed my cheek.

Memories of the last time I'd had to say goodbye to her bubbled to the surface, and I closed my eyes as tears once again pricked at my eyelids. She'd physically been weak, but her eyes had been so fierce when she'd looked at me and made me promise to take care of Mara and myself. "You're my daughters," she had said to me. "That means you take care of each other. No matter what." She had chuckled. "Being Tylers, you'll have to. You both inherited the trouble magnet gene."

I opened my eyes as she stepped over to Mara then. "C'mere love." She pulled my little sister into a hug, and my hearts broke once again when I saw the tears on Mara's cheeks. I couldn't recall the last time I had seen my sister cry.

She clung to our mum tightly. "Please don't go," she whispered. "I can't lose you again."

Another memory came to the surface, and I lowered my eyes. Mara had missed saying goodbye to our mum the last time by minutes. I had called her when Mum was going into her final days, but Mara hadn't gotten the call in time. She'd been too busy running across the stars. She had shown up on my doorstep just moments after Mum had taken her last breath. She hadn't cried, even then.

At least, not when I could see her.

"Oh, my girls," Mum murmured as she stepped back to look at Mara and wipe the tears from her cheeks. "Remember the number one rule? Never say never ever. We're a time traveling family. I have a feeling we'll see each other again."

Mara nodded, and Mum kissed her cheek before turning to our dad.

They stared at each other for a long moment, and I saw the guilt in Dad's eyes just as clearly as I could feel it coming from him in waves. "It's my fault," he choked out. "It's because of me that I lost all of you. You were all torn away from me for 346 years and eleven days, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I'm the reason you died without me being there to hold you."

"Shh, Doctor…" Mum took both of his hands and rubbed them with her thumbs. She reached up with one to cup his cheek and he leaned into her touch with closed eyes. "I don't know what happened," she whispered. "But whatever it was, I have a feeling you let us go to keep us safe. I know you. You would never let us go if there was any other choice."

His face pinched, and when he opened his eyes there were tears there. "I love you," he rasped. "All of you."

Mum stood up on her toes to give him a kiss. It was soft and chaste, and she followed it up with kisses on his cheeks to take his tears, too. "And we love you. So much. I know you've felt it every day we've been with you."

"I don't want you to go," he whispered so quietly I almost couldn't hear him. He sounded just as broken as I felt.

"I know," Mum answered. "But, Doctor, I promised I would never leave you, and look." She looked back at us. "Now I never will." She grinned, but looked back at Dad with somber eyes as she caressed his cheek again. "No one lives forever, Doctor. Not even me. At least this way I know what I'm about to do isn't all for nothing."

I stepped closer to wrap an arm around my sister as Dad nodded and gave Mum another kiss. "Come here, girls," he said, and waved us over.

We walked toward them until all four of us were huddled together. "My family," Mum said, and squeezed us even closer together. "Never forget how much I love you. Even now—wherever and whenever I am. I will always love you."

Behind us we heard the scraping sound of the vortex opening, and I swallowed down more tears. "Love you too, Mum."

She gave us all one last squeeze and a kiss before walking toward the vortex. "Take care of each other," she said, and looked back once she'd stopped in front of the tear. "And…live fantastic lives. For me." She grinned and stepped back into the tear.

My knees buckled as the tear to the vortex closed around her, and I felt dad wrap one strong arm around first me, and then Mara. She and I both let out a sob, and he pulled us closer to him, so our faces were turned into his chest.

He dropped a kiss on the top of each of our heads and held us as we yet again mourned the loss of our mother.

POV: Mara

Date: November 1, 2022

The TARDIS had been quiet for the week that we had been floating in the vortex.

Both Jenny and Dad had spent most of that time in the console room tinkering and sharing memories of Mum. I had tried to join in and catch Dad up on the last 364 years of our lives, but it had been too hard, and eventually I instead began to wander deep in the halls of the TARDIS. There was part of me screaming that I should run—get out and rush across the stars so far and so fast that I would leave all this grief and anger and resentment behind until it had no hope of catching up. But there was another part of me that was just too tired to try.

Dad had tried to follow me one day as I wandered through the storage rooms of our home but had given up when I refused to talk to him. He no doubt could feel the small amount of anger I had that was directed at him. That one part of me that couldn't let go of how he'd abandoned me over and over again through my life starting with my birth. That part of me that blamed him—at least partially—for Mum's death. If she had never gone back to Gallifrey in answer to his call she might still be alive. She would never have become the Moment, she would have never had to spend so many years trapped in a box away from us, and she may have never needed to become human again to retake her corporeal form. She might still be Quo—like me—the last two of our kind.

I let out a slow breath as I forced myself from my bed and into my ensuite. I squinted against the lights that turned on as I entered the space and lifted up my shirt to examine my blaster wound. It had healed nicely, and all that was left was a faint bruise at this point.

I quickly washed my face and brushed my teeth before stuffing myself into some clothing and opening my bedroom door.

I came face-to-face with Jenny.

"I was just coming to check on you," she said. "You haven't eaten anything substantial in days and the TARDIS has conjured up the ingredients for banana pancakes. I have a fresh batch made up in the kitchen for you."

My shoulders slumped. "I'm not hungry," I muttered.

My sister huffed. "Mara, please. Have something to eat. If nothing else, it'll make me feel better."

I glared at her for the blatant attempt to guilt-trip me. "You're not my mum."

She shrugged and turned toward the galley. "Doesn't make my statement any less true." She started to walk back the way she'd come, and I only hesitated a moment before giving up and following her. She always knew what strings to tug to get me to do what she wanted.

I froze in the door when I saw Dad sitting there with a plate full of pancakes. His dark eyes landed on me, and he attempted a smile, though I could feel the anxiety he was covering up. "Good morning, Cricket. Your sister has made us a lovely spread."

I sat down in front of the already full plate and accepted the syrup that Jenny handed me. "I see that."

She glanced between the two of us as she sat in front of her own plate. "It's been a while since we had a family meal together."

I chuckled darkly. "364 years and thirty-four days by my internal clock."

Jenny flashed a glare at me, and I could feel her taking an internal deep breath to calm herself. "Dad and I were considering taking the TARDIS somewhere today. Is there anywhere you want to visit, little sister?"

I grimaced at her use of that title and shook my head as I stabbed at my pancakes. "Thought I'd just go wandering again today."

"Mara—"

"Jenny." I mocked her tone. "Back off. You and Dad can still go off and have your bonding time without me." I knew I wasn't being fair, but neither was she. Jenny knew my grieving process just as well as I knew hers, and she knew better than to push me out of isolation before I was ready.

Dad leaned back suddenly from his pancakes and pulled in a deep breath. "Right, Jenny, why don't you start getting the TARDIS ready for our trip. Mara, come with me." He stood and offered me his hand.

I looked up at him defiantly but stood up and marched passed him out of the galley without taking his hand. He sighed heavily and followed me out.

I waited in the hallway until he'd caught up. He passed me and headed deeper into the TARDIS. "There's something I want to show you."

I silently followed him until we came up to a very faded pink door. I crossed my arms and huffed. "Alright then, why'd you bring me here?"

He leveled me with a steady stare. "I know you're angry with me. For a lot of things, and you have every right to be. I've failed you many times in your life. I failed to keep you close when you were born. I failed to keep the Angels from taking you after forcing you to live your whole childhood away from your mum and I to prevent that very thing. I failed to protect you from losing your mum when she left us to save me from losing myself on Gallifrey, and I failed to protect all of you from the Time Lords after abandoning you in Pete's world to keep them from harming you."

I shifted from foot to foot under his gaze. Each sentence sent another stab of pain and anger through my hearts. Each admission caused another wave of grief.

He tentatively reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "My beautiful, brave, loyal, amazing Cricket. I'm so sorry that I failed you in all these ways. And I'm sorry I can't bring your mother back to you."

I flinched.

"But," he continued, "I can at least give you this." Dad turned then and placed a hand on the knob of the door. He sucked in a breath that went all the way down to his toes, and I sensed him steel himself before he opened it.

I followed him a few steps into the room and looked around. The pink bedspread was balled up in the middle of the bed. There were clothes and cosmetics mixed in with the alien knick-knacks and mementos strewn all around the room. On the open closet door hung a dress that looked appropriate for the 1800's on Earth.

I felt a lump in my throat as tears pricked at my eyes. I looked back at Dad. "This was Mum's room?"

He nodded. "Before I lost her at Canary Wharf. When she traveled with me the first time. This was where she stayed. Sometimes…when I missed all of you, I would come into your rooms. Including this one, and I would just sit."

I felt one of my tears slip down my cheek and wiped it away furiously. "Yeah, well…" I turned to leave, but he stopped me.

"It's okay to grieve her, Mara. To be angry with her, and with me."

Guilt bubbled to the surface, and I blinked back my tears, but it was no use. They came anyway. I let out a sob that came up from somewhere deep within my chest and slid down the wall until I was on the floor.

He slowly came around to sit beside me and pulled me up under his arm. I squeezed my eyes shut as I allowed him to pull me close until my head was against his shoulder. "I didn't get to say goodbye," I gasped out once I had calmed myself enough to speak. "When she died. I was out running across the stars and I didn't get Jenny's message in time. I rushed back to her—I even timed my landing around the same time she'd left her call—but I was too late. She died just before I got there. I failed her, Dad."

"Oh, Mara," he murmured, and kissed the top of my head. "No you didn't."

"But I did," I whimpered. "When it mattered. I failed her, and I didn't get to tell her any of the things I wanted to. That I forgave her—and you—for abandoning me. That I loved her."

Dad gave me a squeeze. "She knew all of that."

I sniffed and wiped my eyes as my tears slowed. "I hope so."

He filled me with love through our bond as he rubbed my arm. "Trust me, she did."

I nodded and leaned my head back against his shoulder. "How did you know to bring me here?" I asked.

He chuckled. "I know my girls."

I laughed with him, and the sensation felt good in my chest. The weight I had been carrying for the last week suddenly didn't seem as heavy, and I breathed in what felt like my first full breath in days. I wasn't healed by any means, but I'd taken a step in the right direction.

I kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Dad."

"Anytime, Cricket."