Youth.

We often talk about youth being nothing but a positive thing. Being young means being healthy and energetic, and it means having time to live your life however you want.

However, in serious situations, being young is nothing but a detriment; to be young is to be inexperienced, and to be inexperienced likely means death. By building yourself up and using all your youth, you will become exhausted, at the cost of your health, energy, and time.

Being old and being young are each more complicated than being a positive or negative thing.

But in a war, being young makes you nothing but a burden

Shirou's eyelids flickered, as he struggled to wake himself up, he was beaten, with cuts and bruised as physical proof of his pain, yet-

If only for a split second, he saw it—the Ever-Distant Utopia. Avalon, a grassy plain field, with a sky as blue as could be and no clouds in sight at all, was a beautiful paradise, something comparable to the very Garden of Eden, but as soon as Shirou reached for it,

He came back to his senses and realized he was reaching for Saber Lily's cheek.

"Oh...Lily...?"

He titled his head slightly, and as the fellow Lily Servant smiled at him, he began to fluster as he realized he was lying on her lap.

"Welcome back, Shirou."

She said it with a soft smile.

"Oh, did I lose?"

He said with a small groan that it was a rhetorical question, but considering his own condition, he felt like he had lost.

"No, you were amazing."

Saber Lily commented, her smile starting to falter as she recalled his battle with Mordred.

"It was nothing big; I got lucky."

"You don't get it!"

Someone's comment struck a nerve within Saber Lily; her smile completely faltered and turned into a jealous sneer.

"You were incredible! Brave! Smart! We're not supposed to

She seemed to struggle to find the right words.

"Lily..."

Shirou said lowly, as he felt tears roll down his face, not his own tears however, but the tears that were dripping from Saber Lily's face began to drip down Shirou's.

"We're not supposed to be strong! we're nothing but regrets personified! mistakes that haven't been made yet! we're just inferior lessar versions of our futures..."

As she recalled his impressive display against Mordred once more, her mind went to his suddenly adopted the same look Archer would whenever he got serious, if he was inferior, why'd he win? it was something Saber Lily simply couldn't understand.

Shirou on the other hand felt a sense of guilt, Saber Lily had been struggling with comparing herself to...Saber...Shirou wasn't too knowledgable on how Lily Servants worked, just that he was one, and that they were based on legends at the begining of their journey.

"Why..."

His full attention returned to the crying woman in front of her.

"Why are you so strong, but i'm still so weak...?"

She wept, as she felt her shame rise to the highest level, she was pathetic, pathetically weak, someone with no worth here in Chaldea.

Shirou, however, finally began to understand. He wasn't exactly aware of what his future self would look like, but he was sure that the true heroic spirit of Emiya Shirou was far stronger than his.

But...

"What makes you weak, Lily?"

His hand reached up to her face, looking her in the eyes from her thighs.

She struggled to reply.

"You're not weak because others are strong; you're only weak because you're limiting yourself to who you can be."

Her eyes seem to be confused, not truly understanding.

"I get it; you're trying to imitate the true Artoria Pendragon, aren't you?"

Her eyes now seemed to widen, as if in a state of self-realization.

"You're more than just a young version of her; your future is unknown. Instead of attempting to imitate something you aren't, you have to find your own path."

It was hypocritical, terribly so; an imitator was telling someone else not to imitate.

However, Emiya Shirou wasn't a stranger to being a hypocrite.

"Same goes for me; even if I want to become the true heroic spirit of Shirou Emiya, it doesn't mean it's going to happen."

Shirou begins to wipe the tears from Saber Lily's eyes.

"You can allow yourself to lose to anyone, Lily, just not yourself; the same goes for me."

He sits up next to her and smiles softly as Saber Lily weeps into his shoulder, finally feeling understood, finally feeling comforted, and finally feeling like she had found her second half.

It was a beautiful thing.

Mordred walked into the cafeteria with an annoyed expression. Several servants moved clear from her path, not attempting to anger the young lion that was Mordred Pendragon. A fierce aura seemed to scare anyone away.

She walked up the kitchen and knocked on the door, and by knock, I meant hit, and by hit, I meant completely destroy, to the point where the door's hinges fell off.

"Where's the Bastard Red Archer?!"

She said it angrily; however, the majority of servants in the area kept quiet. It seemed a woman was angry with Archer Emiya every day at this point.

"Foolish girl, The Red Archer will be feeding me! as he had promised."

Lalter Artoria spoke in a condensed tone. Mordred backed up, slightly intimated by this variant of her father. She calmed her nerves and barked back.

"He isn't even here!"

Boudica yelled out from the kitchen, garnering groans from both Mordred and Lalter Artoria.

Mordred sighed as she spoke.

"I'm not here for food! His stupid Lily Variant arrived today."

This information caused a majority of the Servants of Chaldea to gossip and theorize about his idenity. Despite being nameless outside of "Emiya," of which there were 3 different versions, he was oddly popular, likely due to his ability to cook and create dishes. He was a valued chef in Chaldea.

Now, apparently, a Lily variant of himself is here.

"Oho? How interesting; I've always wondered about his past."

Lalter Artoria started to fantasize about having Archer and her smaller counterpart as her personal chefs.

"Why do you even care?"

Mordred groaned.

"Why do you even care?"

Lalter Artoria barked back, causing Mordred to sweat slightly. In all honesty, with how Archer kept quiet about his past, she secretly hoped that he was simply embarrassed and would reveal some weaknesses his young self had for a potential rematch, but she knew damn well she couldn't openly say that.

... It also annoyed her that he used Caliburn.

"W-Well...uhm-"

"Mordred."

Mordred's head turned instantly, and he saw her, Artoria Pendragon, the original.

"What does this Emiya Lily look like?"

Her cold demeanor seemed to make Mordred shrink.

"He... has Amber eyes..."

Artoria's eyebrows rose.

"And..red hair..."

Artoria nodded before walking away.

"...Father..?"

Mordred tilted her head and watched her walk off. She ignored her, just as she always did. This was one of the few times she willingly talked to her, and it wasn't even about her; she felt angry. Who even cared? Why was she so interested in some random Lily Servant...?

Mordred then noticed, but Artoria began to walk faster and faster, and then she was jogging and then running.

Feeling curious, she began to trail his father.

Shirou had brought Saber Lily back to her room; she thanked him and gave him a hug, which Shirou reciprocated before leaving. It had only been the first day, and it already felt like he'd been there for multiple weeks. He knew he was unlucky, but it seemed more so that some god above was playing with him constantly.

His mind started to wonder as he thought about Saber. His Saber was here, and Shirou was nervous.

What would she think when she saw him? shock? joy? It felt like he was cheating on his vow to chase her forever, but this was a miracle, one that would allow for sword and sheath, blade and scabbard, to have an early meeting, and for that, he wanted to feel thankful, but he couldn't.

He simply felt unworthy, unworthy of being happy, unworthy of this miracle, but maybe this miracle wasn't for him; rather, it was for her.

He continued to wonder the halls of Chaldea, scared that with each turn around the corner he'd see her and freeze up. He missed her badly, but maybe she had gotten over it; maybe she'd tell him she gave up on him.

It might be a crude comparison, but it was akin to a high school kid struggling to confess his feelings towards his crush.

"Who am I kidding? There's no point in being scared; I just...have to."
Even with that, his heart ached with fear, but nevertheless, he moved forward; after all, he had to keep chasing her for as long as it took.

Eventually, he crossed paths with Rin.

"Oh, Hey Tohsaka."

He smiled at Rin; she seemed to be floating in some kind of heavenly armor or clothing; he wasn't sure, either way, it was still her.

"Hi Emiya-Kun."

She waved back at him as they walked past each other; however, almost a second later, they both turned around, shocked.

"I-I...why did I say that?"

The Rin lookalike felt confused, but whenever she looked at him, she felt a strange sense of joy but also guilt, saying his name came almost like second nature to her.

Shirou quickly realized what was going on, Demi-Servants, something that he was aware of. Due to the information given to him as a servant, certain Servants couldn't properly materialize due to things like divinity and such.

This servant wasn't Rin; it was just a vessel for her to use.

"I'm sorry, you just look like someone I once knew."

He quickly walked away before she could question him.

"Hey, no wait!"

Ishtar did not know why, but letting him go seemed like a mistake—a mistake she'd regret forever. The emotions from her vessel seemed to overwrite her own, something on the lines of fusing their existence.

"Please! come back!"

He didn't hear her.

Eventually, he made it to the end of another empty hall; he could either turn left or right. He was scared he'd this one and that Artoria would remain behind. As he turned to the left, he saw nothing and sighed, both out of annoyance and out of relief.

"Shirou?"

He heard behind him that familiar voice—it couldn't be, it really couldn't.

He turned around, waiting for his heart to be crushed, but

Shirou saw his Saber, smiling softly while approaching him.

Just as she approached him, he approached her. It seemed to take years, but eventually, they were in each other's arms.

"Am I dreaming, Saber?"

"Maybe so, but I refuse to wake up from this dream."

He didn't realize it, but he was crying. He hugged her tightly as he felt complete once more.

"I missed you, Shirou."

Artoria said with a soft smile, a small tear falling down her cheek.

"I'm sorry I took so long, Saber."

It was a beautiful thing to be reunited. As Mordred watched the two, she felt confused and split; this wasn't her father, the perfect king of camelot; this was a woman, just a woman who was severely in love.

Mordred a pang of jealousy; if King Arthur was always capable of love, it simply meant she wasn't worth loving.

This truth broke her like no other.

She pulled out Clarent and attempted to strike at Shirou, which was swiftly blocked by Artoria.

"Mordred!"

Artoria gritted her teeth.

"C'mon, King Arthur! Can't you realize that romance will never work out for a machine!?"

Artoria felt her rage intensify. An all-out battle between servants was happening in between the very halls of Chaldea. Artoria was aware of this and attempted her best to be aware of the surroundings.

Mordred, however, seemed to just wildly strike wherever she wanted, overwhelming The King of Knights and forcing her futher and futher back. Shirou himself recognized that he wouldn't be able to intervene against the two powerhouses.

SERVANT SABER: TRUE NAME MORDRED PENDRAGON, USE OF MANA IN RESTRICTED AREAS, PLEASE STAND DOWN.

SERVANT SABER: TRUE NAME ARTORIA PENDRAGON, USE OF MANA IN RESTRICTED AREAS, PLEASE STAND DOWN.

Alarms blared as a robotic voice commanded they'd stand down.

"It seems we're on a time limit! I'll take your queen before that."

Just as they charge at each other, the robotic voice chimes in once more.

SERVANT SABER: TRUE NAME, MORDRED PENDRAGON, HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED FROM CHALDEA'S MANA SOURCES.

SERVANT SABER: TRUE NAME, ARTORIA PENDRAGON, HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED FROM CHALDEA'S MANA SOURCES.

Suddenly, they were running on fumes, no longer being Heroic Spirits of Legend but rather just ironclad women, desprately swinging their swords against each other.

Artoria had the advantage; she had more skill, so she should likely win, and yet Mordred's attacks kept coming—unskilled, frantic strikes—but still, they were stronger than any other strike that came before. Artoria was struggling to guard, and Mordred's rage appeared to be stronger than any level of skill Artoria had.

Eventually, Artoria fell; her wrists were red, and her lungs were on the verge of collapsing. If she had attempted to stand, she might have disappeared from this world.

To Artoria, it was as if Mordred was attempting to ruin her perfect moment once more.

"Finally, I finally beat you."

Mordred tiredly walked past you; it wouldn't be long until Ritsuka showed up, so she had to finish this quickly. She slowly approached Shirou, who simply looked back at her with a guilty look; he didn't flinch when she brought her sword to his neck.

"Any last words, Your Majesty?"

Mordred said with an almost evil smirk, which was met by nothing but a sad look from Shirou.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize her love meant so much to you."

Just then, she froze.

"What..?"

She tilted her head as if that were the last thing she was expecting, considering that she was as weak as a human at the moment, there was no way she could keep up with Shirou, and she expected him to kill her where she stood.

Shirou, at that moment, desired nothing more than to save the girl in front of her.

"It was cruel; I wanted to get to know you. I had always thought you were just some rebel, but I realize now that you're just sick of being alone."

She suddenly hits him in the face.

"Shut up... You've just proven to me that my existence is nonsensical; I was made to do nothing but torture King Arthur, isn't it?"

He stays quiet.

"Exactly, it's time i do what i was made to do."

However-

"You Don't believe that, you have a desire right? to be King right?"

He focuses for a second, and recreates the Perfect Image of Caliburn, still fresh in his mind, and hands it too Mordred.

"It was wrong for Artoria to keep your birthright from you, and too...neglect you, i don't know much, but i'm aware you've been wronged a lot, so let me give you one right."

Mordred struggles to answer, Caliburn meant everything, to be the king, the perfect king-

She then stared at her father, Artoria was on the floor, crawling towards them, this wasn't the perfect king, and being that king, seemed to be nothing but a burden.

"...I..I don't want it, maybe i do deserve it, but maybe...it's not my destiny, i admired that perfect king, but now that i know it's an illusion, i don't...know, i wanted to be acknowledged by the person i looked up to with my heart and soul, so i thought that becoming King would allow that, and then i thought rebelling against him would do that."

She begins to rethink this entire situation, what did she truly want? to be King, or to be Acknowledged?

"...I just wish he'd look at me."

she said with a sad admittance, it hurt for Shirou to hear, and it filled Artoria with much shame.

"Mordred..."

Artoria said lowly, realizing her own folly, she was a coward, she refused to face her own son, and disallowed each other to heal.

Shirou embraced Mordred, it was strange, but it was the only personal affection she'd ever gotten ever, it felt almost...maternal.

"Oh...Thank you Mother."

.

.
.

"What?"

Yes, Shirou is the Mom in this relationship, Archer is also a Mom. just to every child in Chaldea, including Gudao.

Thank you all for reading, i love reading your reviews, and hearing what you think, i decided to bring a lot of different elements in this chapter, regret, cowardice, jealously, but my ideas run deep, i have plenty of plot points, cool moments, new abilities planned out, not exactly a clear path, but i know what i want to add, and i'll know when it's time to add them

So stick around, this could be a pretty cool thing, thanks again for reading.