Author's Note: And we're back! Coming at you in 2024 with a fresh batch of chapters for Lone Wolf: A Marauder's Story! To any new readers, welcome! I hope you're enjoying the fic thus far. To those who are returning after my long hiatus, welcome back! And thanks for your patience. I look forward to sharing this next year of Remus's tale with you. Happy reading!
The crowded platform did not send Remus into a spiral of dread as it had a year ago. He supposed that meant he was making progress. In truth, though he had enjoyed two blissful months of respite from the worry and stress of school, Remus would not miss spending his monthly transformations huddled in the cellar of his parents' home. He actually found himself looking forward to visiting the old shack where he could endure the full moon free of chains.
This, he told himself stubbornly, was all he was looking forward to during his second year at Hogwarts. He still needed to protect his secret, and this could only be accomplished if he kept the other students at a distance. And yet, despite what he told himself, he couldn't suppress a feeling of nervous excitement as he stood on Platform 9 ¾ again. He wondered if any of the teachers would be pleased to see him. Had any of his classmates spared a thought for him over the summer, as he so often thought of them?
His mother must have had similar thoughts on her mind. Remus knew she had grown suspicious when, despite all his made-up stories about the friendships he had cultivated at school, he had not received a single letter. He had grown to regret not keeping Lily Evan's address. If he had written to her, just once, it might have given some satisfaction to his mother to believe that at least one person at Hogwarts cared about him.
As it stood, Hope Lupin was too polite to embarrass her son with any pointed questions. And yet, as she fussed over his hair and new school robes, he noticed the way her eyes darted over the other children, as though wondering why none of them came to greet Remus.
As the idea crossed his mind, Remus's eyes scanned the platform. He felt a jolt of panic. Evans was standing a few yards away. She was chatting animatedly with Severus Snape, who was standing by her side, as usual. She didn't seem to notice him, but what if she turned her head and saw Remus standing with his parents? What if she demanded to know why he hadn't written to her? Or worse, what if she didn't acknowledge him at all?
Remus wasn't sure which outcome he feared the most. He made some excuse about meeting his friends on the train, and with a hurried hug for his mother, and a firm handshake for his father, he quickly said his goodbyes.
He was careful to select a carriage toward the back of the train, far from where Evans and Snape were boarding. In doing so, he smiled to himself. Though his actions were entirely self-serving, he couldn't help but feel that if Snape knew his intentions, he would thank him. With Remus out of the way, Snape stood a better chance of securing a compartment with Evans alone. Very likely, this was Snape's sole desire for the ride back to school, though he would never know the kindness Remus had done for him.
Still smiling at the idea that his avoidance was working to Snape's advantage, Remus settled into his own private compartment. He wanted nothing so much as an uneventful, silent journey, left alone with a copy of Jane Austen's Emma. He was destined to be disappointed.
Moments after the train began to roll forward, his precious solitude was interrupted as the door to his compartment slid open, and an excited voice called out, "Hey, Sirius! I found him!"
Remus glanced up from the pages of his book into the face of James Potter, careful to keep his expression neutral. Despite his pointed exclamation, Remus did not believe that Potter and his friends had been seeking him on purpose. It was far more likely that they had stumbled upon him in their search for an empty compartment, and recognized his appearance as an opportunity for mischief.
Remus had no intention of making himself a source of amusement for Potter and his cronies. He was on the point of rising from his seat when Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black sidled in behind Potter. Remus was forced back onto the cushioned seat as they jostled for position, each struggling to load their trunks into the overhead compartments, chattering away as they settled into place.
"Good summer, Lupin?" asked Potter with a smile. He did not give Remus a chance to respond, even if he had wanted to, for he quickly added, "I went on holiday with my parents! Ever been to Greece?"
"I still say you should have kidnapped me," Black commented in a half-joking, half-jealous sort of way. "Not that my parents would have minded having me out of the house. They'd've probably paid your parents a ransom just to get rid of me."
"You could've stayed with me!" chirped Pettigrew. "I was so bored! We didn't go anywhere interesting this summer. But if you'd've come, Sirius, I bet we could've found something to pass the time…"
"Without me?" James interrupted. Though it seemed he'd had the most exciting summer holiday of them all, he still managed to look insulted that their hypothetical plans had left him out.
They were so absorbed with one another, Remus seemed entirely forgotten already. Silently, he closed his book, rose from his seat, and prepared to fetch his own trunk from overhead.
Potter must have sensed his intent, for he immediately pressed his hands over Remus's luggage, while Black, with faster reflexes than Remus had given him credit for, moved to block his escape.
"What's your hurry, Lupin?" asked Potter with a cheeky grin. "Don't you want to sit with us?"
"No, not really," said Remus with perfect honesty. Evans and Snape would have been preferable to this.
Black let out a barking laugh. "See what I mean?" he said to Potter before looking Remus in the eye. "This is what I've missed about you, Lupin. That rude indifference of yours. You really aren't scared of us at all, are you?"
Remus quirked a brow at him and asked, "Scared? Of you? Shouldn't that be the other way around?"
"How's your mum?" Potter interrupted before Black could respond. Remus stared at him, unsure of what to say. Potter quickly clarified, "She was sick last year, wasn't she? That's why you kept missing class?"
"O-Oh…" Remus stammered. He wished he had thought of a better cover story for his many absences. He had spent a blissful summer attempting to repress any thought of his roommates, and it was embarrassing to be reminded of the lie now.
"She's fine," he finally managed to say, "That was just… Just a one-off thing…"
"If you're going to miss class again, I can take notes for you," Pettigrew offered with a friendly smile.
"Your handwriting's so bad he'd be better off without," Black quipped before turning to look at Remus again, "What made her so sick, anyway? Was it contagious? Did she pass it to you? Can you give it to my mum?"
"I said it was just a one-time thing!" Remus insisted. "She's fine, really…"
He wasn't sure how it happened, but he had been baited into having an actual conversation with the trio. He had even retaken his seat without attempting to flee. It was odd. No matter how short he was to them, they carried on in the same friendly manner, either laughing at his comments as if he were joking, or proceeding as if they didn't notice when he was particularly rude.
Remus didn't like it. They were too casual, too comfortable. He suspected every word and glance they directed at him of hiding a double meaning. They could not seriously be pleased to see him again. Not after his behavior toward them last year. No, it had to be a game they were playing. Remus kept his guard up, even as he submitted to their company for the duration of the ride to Hogwarts.
He hoped to make his escape as the train arrived in the small village of Hogsmeade. But while the first-years gathered around the towering form of Hagrid, prepared to make their voyage across the Black Lake, Remus found himself wedged between Black and Pettigrew, while Potter led them toward a line of carriages, seemingly drawn by nothing at all.
"That's strange," remarked Potter as he forced Remus into their coach. "What enchantment d'you think they've used to make them drive themselves?"
"Who cares?" Black replied lazily, already seated against the cushions and looking bored.
"Thestrals, I imagine," Remus replied in spite of himself. "Hagrid was training a herd last year."
"What's a thestral?" asked Pettigrew.
He had their attention now, and could not refrain from answering, "I'm… Not really sure how to describe it, myself. They're invisible to most people, but Hagrid said they're sort of horse-like…"
Black looked dubious, but Potter, his eyes wide with curiosity, stretched out a hand to the empty air in front of the carriage. In a moment, his hand snapped back, and he exclaimed, "Merlin's beard! You're right! There's something there!"
"No way!" said Pettigrew, eagerly leaning forward in his seat, as though to follow Potter's example. But Potter had already leapt into the carriage beside Remus, and soon they were rolling forward toward the glittering lights of the castle in the distance.
"Why'd Hagrid tell you so much about thestrals?" asked Potter. "I thought he was just the groundskeeper."
"He is," said Remus, "He tends to the forest, as well. I… I sort of helped him out with his work a bit last year."
"Like an assistant?" asked Pettigrew, while Black added, "Why?"
Remus could feel heat rising to his face, and prayed the darkness of the carriage would prevent them from noticing. He couldn't tell them that he had wandered into the forbidden forest during one of his transformations last year, or that Hagrid has covered for him. Instead, he replied softly, "Because it was fun."
"Was it?" Black asked, sounding doubtful.
"I think it sounds cool!" declared Potter, with a pointed glance at his friend. "Did Hagrid ever take you into the forest?"
"No," said Remus quickly. "That would be against the rules!"
"As if that's ever stopped us before," muttered Pettigrew.
Potter and Black smirked. The trio's glances were becoming more conspiratorial, and their questions to Remus more probing. He was grateful when they pulled up in front of the castle at last. Though Potter and Pettigrew prevented him from springing out of his seat, the change of venue brought about a change in conversation. Remus was spared the pain of inventing new excuses for his strange absences and fraternization with the school groundskeeper as Potter began musing over the incoming group of first-years.
Remus had only a passing interest in the new students, since he viewed it as his responsibility to keep them as distant as he did the students in his own year. In spite of his resolution, however, one name attracted his attention soon after the Sorting Hat completed its annual welcoming song.
"Black, Regulus!" called out Professor McGonagall.
Remus looked with curiosity at the short boy who made his way calmly toward the stool at the front of the line of first-years. Regulus more pale, and a little on the thinner side, but the family resemblance could not be mistaken. As Professor McGonagall dropped the hat over the boy's head, Remus's gaze sought his older brother. Sirius watched the proceedings with feigned disinterest, as though the fate of his sibling mattered very little to him, either way. Still, when the Sorting Hat cried out, "SLYTHERIN!" he could not conceal a shadow of disappointment from stealing across his expression.
"Ah, well," Remus heard him remark to Potter and Pettigrew, "He was always mother's favorite."
"Cheer up, Sirius," said Potter bracingly, "At least now it'll be easy to avoid him!"
Black smiled, but the expression did not quite reach his eyes. Remus did not presume to understand what Black was thinking. Perhaps he had been hoping to be a sort of role model to his younger brother, to free him from whatever influence their parents had over him. Then again, Black was quick to recover from his disappointment, and had resumed cracking jokes with his two friends as though careless of what became of his only sibling.
Soon, Dumbledore had risen from his seat to give the start-of-term announcements. The notices were fairly standard. Filch had added a number of items to the school's banned list, and a gentle reminder was given to new students that the Forbidden Forest was strictly off-limits. Finally, he announced, "This year I have the pleasure of introducing you all to our newest faculty member, Professor Squabs, who has agreed to instruct Defense Against the Dark Arts."
Professor Squabs was a short, round woman. She had a smooth face which made it impossible to determine her age, though her long, straight black hair gave her a somewhat youthful appearance. She smiled in response to the polite applause following Dumbledore's introduction, and gave a slight incline of her head. Remus eyed her with considerably more interest than he had taken in any of his peers. She was replacing his favorite professor from the previous year, and as a member of the faculty, Dumbledore had no doubt advised her of Remus's condition. He looked for some sign that Professor Squabs would be as welcoming as Professor Corvus had been, but as Dumbledore concluded his announcements and sent them off to bed, there was little time for observation. Remus would simply have to wait until class to evaluate the new professor.