A/N: Another chapter will be up soon, either tonight or tomorrow.

Chapter Twenty-five

~O~

"Hey Hawke!"

Isabela waved her over as soon as she stepped into the Hanged Man. Walking over to the pirate, Marian leaned against the bar, her gaze sweeping the pub, taking in all the familiar faces she knew, and some she didn't. "Do you have plans for the evening, sweet, or are you just killing time?"

Hawke turned, resting her back against the bar. "I have some private business with Varric to attend. What are you up to?"

Isabela downed a shot, and shuddered. "I have a little business of my own to take care of, down at the Docks. After, I'm going to stop by the Alienage and check on Merrill." She slanted a look at Hawke, reaching out and sliding a long lock of her dark hair through her fingers. "I didn't think I would like your hair this long, but it's a good look for you. It's nice you let it free when you aren't fighting. That's Anders preference, I assume?"

"You know it," Hawke murmured with a small, secret smile, making Isabela laugh.

"Oh, I do so love seeing that look of satisfaction on your pretty face. I never would have thought Anders would have exactly what you needed, but I'm happy to be wrong." Isabela smirked. "Have you heard the latest juicy tidbit of gossip?"

Hawke bit the inside of her cheek and shrugged. "Do I even want to know?"

"Well, it's entertaining if nothing else. And if you're really having the bastard love child of some prince, I hope you invite me to the birth, I have a real soft spot for bastards. I'll even be a doting aunt to your little one."

Hawke rolled her eyes, laughing. "I dance with the Starkhaven heir a few times, and suddenly I'm carrying his child? I suppose Sebastian's little plan to give Hightown some new gossip worked only too well." She lowered her chin and smiled teasingly at Isabela. "There will be no bastards from him, not with anyone, his cock is on ice, dedicated to the Maker through a vow of chastity. Not that I have interest in any man that isn't Anders."

The pirate looked disturbed, then shook her head, downing another shot. "That's….unnatural for a man, or anyone, really. Probably for the best that someone like that not reproduce." Turning serious, Isabela leaned closer, searching the other woman's eyes.

"I'm actually glad I have you alone, because there's something I wanted to say. I think you were really hard on Merrill, Hawke. That whole mirror thing means a lot to her. I don't know why you couldn't just indulge her a bit and give her that tool, it's probably harmless."

Her blue eyes growing cold, Hawke held Isabela's gaze. "I can't, I'm sorry, and it's not harmless. You aren't a mage, so I can't expect you to fully understand, but blood magic is very serious, not something to be encouraged or indulged. I was wary of befriending Merrill when I first met her, as she is an unapologetic practitioner of blood magic. It isn't that Anders or Fenris or I dislike Merrill, far from it, it's that we have all seen the death and destruction that comes from dealing with demons. If I encourage that and enable her, I am partially responsible for what she does after. No spirit should have control of a person's body, it never ends well, and that's the danger of blood magic."

Isabela crossed her arms, her brows furrowed. "That doesn't strike you as a little hypocritical, considering Anders?"

"It would be," Hawke agreed, "if I hadn't changed things with him. Justice is contained by my magic, my bond with Anders, so he can't ever take over and cause havoc again. It isn't uncommon for a spirit healer to have the assistance of a benevolent spirit to aid them in helping others, it's just that Anders now has that help, permanently. If a demon possessed Merrill, it would be her death, that's what happens when a mage becomes an abomination, and demons never play nice, no matter what they claim." She sighed, her eyes softening.

"When you speak to her, try to discourage any interest in the mirror, it's her blood magic and obsession with it that turned her clan against her, and that worries Keeper Marethari. And...tell Merrill I'll come see her soon. I have a gift I would like to bring her. I'm not going to give up on her or abandon her, Isabela, that isn't the kind of friend I am."

After a moment of silence, the pirate rested a hand on her shoulder with a rare look of sincerity. "Thanks, Hawke. I'm glad we spoke about this. I've been wondering about a few things with you, lately, and you've eased my concerns. You're a good friend." Isabela threw a few coins onto the bar, and winked, stepping past her. "I'm off, sweet, see you later!"

"Bye, Bela." Hawke smiled and watched her leave, then started for the stairs. Looking at Varric's door ahead of her, she squared her shoulders and walked on.

~O~

Hawke tapped softly on the closed door, slowly pushing it open when Varric yelled it was unlocked. Closing it behind her, she walked to where Varric sat at the long table, his feet propped up before him, a mostly full bottle of whiskey standing between two shot glasses, one full and one empty. He waved toward them.

"Have a seat. I figured you'd stop by. We can toast my poor bastard of a brother together." Varric filled the other shot glass while Hawke sat down. He lifted his full glass and waited for her to pick hers up too, clearing his throat. "To Bartrand, may he annoy the absolute shit out of the Stone and the Ancestors, as much as he did everyone else. And to you, Hawke, the woman who put him out of his misery."

"To Bartrand," she echoed quietly. They downed their shots, Varric immediately refilling their glasses. When he set the bottle down, Hawke captured his hand in hers, her eyes focused on the whiskey in her glass.

"I would rather you hate me, Varric, than yourself. If I had let you do it, I know it would have eaten away at you, from the inside out. He was your brother, no matter what he may have done." She looked up and met his gaze, his brown eyes hard, while hers swam with tears. "I care for you too much to let that happen. I won't ask for your forgiveness, but I hope you can come to see that it was my love and concern for you that drove my actions, and nothing else. It certainly wasn't for revenge or any other reason, on my part. He was suffering greatly and we granted him release. It was a kindness, even if it doesn't feel like it now."

He tilted his head up to the ceiling and blew out a loud breath, squeezing her fingers before he drew his hand away. "I know why you did it, Hawke." He met her gaze again, more honesty and emotion there than what he usually showed. "I don't hate you for it. I never could hate you, our friendship is deeper and more real than any bullshit that could come between us. I'm just no good with emotions, you know that, and all this is forcing me to feel things I don't want to feel. Look, I try not to ask too much from you, but will you stay with me for a few hours tonight, just me and you? Get drunk with me, I think that's all I need to help me get past this. I'll even clean slate everything you still owe me from Wicked Grace, as incentive."

She slid from her chair onto her knees by Varric's chair, enveloping him in a hug, laying her head on his shoulder when he returned it. "I love you, Varric," she murmured against his neck, breathing in the comforting scents of leather and citrus that were so much a part of her dwarf friend.

"Of course you do, not even the mighty Hawke is immune to all my charm." There was more of his usual humor in his voice, making her smile with a hint of mischief.

"Can I, please? I really want to, Varric, it's been so long. Won't you indulge me?" She pleaded softly, against his ear.

He sighed, sounding very put upon. "Go on. I knew this was gonna turn into a habit when I said yes that first time. One day, Blondie is going to figure out I'm his only real competition, not Curly. I hope you're ready to defend me from his fireballs if that ever happens."

Hawke laughed. "Don't worry, I'll never divulge a word of this to anyone. If I did, I would be forced to explain myself, and I can't really explain this obsession." She hummed appreciatively, running her fingers across his chest, trailing them up and down before dipping her head down to lie against his chest, closing her eyes and smiling. "It's the softness that always surprises me. I don't know how chest hair can be therapeutic, but it definitely is. You could charge for fifteen minute sessions and make a fortune." His voice rumbled against her ear when he spoke again.

"Dwarves may not have the showy kind of magic, but never underestimate the power of our beards and chest hair, they have a magic all their own. I hope you left Blondie at home, I don't really want to chance him catching us like this." He ran his fingers through her long, dark hair, musingly, indulging his own curiosity, always keeping descriptions in mind for his future stories.

"He went to the clinic for a little while, but I didn't tell him I was coming to see you. He probably won't wonder where I am for a few more hours, at least. We can carry on with our clandestine activities without concern." She finally lifted her head and grinned, still sliding her hand against his chest before cutting her eyes toward him teasingly. "You know, this obsession can probably go both ways. My touch can be therapeutic too, giving, not only taking." She ran her magic down his torso, skimming his nipples in a way that felt like a tongue, causing his brows to rise in surprise.

"Shit, that's nice. Is that like the electricity thing I've heard Rivaini mention a few times?"

With a naughty smile, Hawke hit him with a full dose of her pleasure electricity, tilting her head questioningly after it faded.

He let out a low whistle, clearly impressed. "Andraste's flaming ass, I think I can understand now, why someone would be eager to fuck a mage. It's a wonder Blondie doesn't keep you chained to the bed. You better keep these skills of yours a secret, Hawke, or I'll have to hire you a full time bodyguard."

She shrugged, moving back into her chair. "Anders already fills the role of guardian, and I learned that little trick from him, so he deserves any credit." Lifting her shot, she pursed her lips. "What should we drink to?"

Varric settled more comfortably in his seat, lifting his drink and winking. "To friends you would never fuck, but maybe secretly want to."

Hawke snorted. "I'll drink to that." They both threw back their shots and she grinned. "Even though I know you're totally full of shit. You're more attracted to your crossbow than me or any of your other friends."

Refilling their glasses again, he shook his head with an enigmatic smile. "I'll never tell. Your turn to toast."

She frowned in thought before smiling again, lifting her glass. "To our secret obsessions, chest hair magic, and many more therapeutic sessions in our future."

Chuckling, Varric threw back his shot and poured two more before he stood and walked over to his bedroom space, returning with a folder full of loose papers. He cracked his knuckles and sat down again, opening the folder.

"To all the stories still waiting to be written." After they both drank, he lifted a sheet and smirked. "Alright, I wrote some more on that little romance you liked so much. I'll read it to you, and you can tell me what you think."

Hawke ran her tongue along the edge of her glass, catching the last drop of whiskey, well and truly on her way to being totally drunk. "What were the character's names again?"

"Aiden and Mayra. They're star-crossed lovers whose families are mortal enemies, so their tale ends in tragedy. But the path they take to get there is filled with touching romance, angst and steamy passion."

"Why don't you ever write romances with a happy ending, Varric? I don't care for doom, or star-crossed lovers who are too weak to fight for each other," Hawke sighed.

"Too unrealistic," Varric shrugged, arranging the papers into the correct order before he felt Hawke's eyes on him, and looked up. Her regard was piercing, and far too perceptive for his comfort.

"It's really because that's how your own romance went, isn't it? I wonder if she knew how lucky she was to have the love and loyalty of a man like you… Your...Bianca?" She tilted her head and gasped with sudden realization. "No, she still has your heart, doesn't she? Which means she isn't dead. Do you need my help to track down your lady love, Varric? You know I would do anything for you."

He pressed his lips together and looked away. "Leave it alone, Hawke. There's a reason I don't talk about that part of my life, not even with you." He picked up the bottle and poured two more shots.

She gave him a pouty look and picked up her glass, then smirked. "To Bianca, wherever she is tonight."

Varric gave her a warm smile, almost tempted to tell her that story, but not quite. "To Bianca."

~O~

An hour later, they both laid on his bed together, Varric having just finished reading her the end of his story, and Hawke wiping away her affected tears, and sniffing.

"I wish you wouldn't make me cry by reading me your sad tales, it's cruel. It's bad enough you get me so drunk and horny I'm almost desperate enough to hump my own hand, but you had to go and make me all weepy too? Some friend you are." She wiggled out of her coat and flung it away to join her boots and stockings, sighing and stretching out more comfortably in just her light undershirt and pants.

"I'm a great friend, Hawke, your best friend, in fact, and you're always horny, the booze just makes you more aware of it." Sitting upright, he ran his eyes over her face appraisingly. "You do look pretty bad off though. Maybe you better go home to Anders so he can help you out. And don't take off any more of your clothes, or Blondie will have my ass. He's the irrational mage with jealousy issues, remember?"

She laughed and burrowed deeper into Varric's pillow. "Sorry, can't go home without being carried, and you know it. This level of drunk is...is… Hmm. What was I saying? Maker's cock, I could really use the Maker's cock right now." She started giggling, making Varric grin with a calculating look.

"You know, Hawke, I've started working on a new serial for the Hard in Hightown series, and I was hoping you could help me brainstorm a bit about some of the characters. You're pretty good at describing sex scenes. The story is about one woman and two men, both in love with her. She's married to one guy, but still sees the other, and her husband doesn't mind. It's a true love triangle. What do you think?"

She made an interested noise and flipped over to face him, her blue eyes bright from her giggles. "You want me to help you describe them fucking? You should really ask Anders, he's the absolute king of all fucking that has ever existed, and he can make anyone come just by using his magic, alone. Oh! Let me tell you about what he did to me the other day, and you can change it for your book."

Varric dipped his quill into the ink pot beside him, poised it over the blank paper and nodded. "Go ahead, Hawke, I'm listening." She started talking immediately, giving him incredibly detailed descriptions for someone so drunk, with liberal laughter sprinkled among her words. He wrote it all down with a wide grin on his face. He always loved her like this, uninhibited, unfiltered, he could ask her anything, and she would give him all her honest thoughts and opinions. Of course, some would think him a bastard for taking advantage of her when she was drunk, but he would never do anything that would actually hurt her, and the world really deserved to know about the life and exploits of someone as remarkable as Marian Hawke.

He set aside his writing materials and crossed his ankles, leaning back against one of his pillows. "I got it all down, thanks for your help, Hawke. I'll be sure to remember you in the dedication when I publish."

"Varric," she whined, smacking him lightly on the arm. "Talking about all that was a really bad idea. I'm more, more horny now… ANNNNDERS! I NEEEED YOUUUU!" She yelled at the top of her voice, making Varric wince from the volume right next to him.

"Maybe I better go send a message for Blondie to come get you." The dwarf rolled off the bed and took a step toward the door, stopping when it opened and the man in question stepped in. Taking in the situation at a glance, Anders sighed and gave the dwarf a disappointed look.

"I wish you wouldn't give her so much to drink, Varric. You know she doesn't have the tolerance you do, and it makes her sick the next day, which is no fun for anyone."

Varric gave the healer an apologetic smile. "You're right, Blondie, I'm sorry. We started out toasting Bartrand and kinda got carried away from there. I'll make sure I don't overindulge Hawke in the future. She's really ready for you to take care of her, though, so you might want to hurry."

Hawke pushed up on her elbows, her eyes seeking Anders, giving him an alluring smile. "Let's shag on Varric's bed, love. It would serve him right for getting me so sloppy drunk and reading me his sad, sexy stories, making me cry and making me want to come. I'm so aroused I'm ready to explode. Come make me come." She started giggling again, letting her head fall back against the pillow.

Anders shot a thoughtful, suspicious look at Varric. "Really? Crying and coming doesn't sound like the best combination, to me." He picked up her discarded clothing and shoes and approached her, shaking his head at her pouting face. "I'm not going to fuck you on Varric's bed, Marian, it's far too small for the two of us, and Varric needs his bed to sleep. You're going to get dressed and I'll carry you home, then I'll take care of you on our bed."

When her boots were back on, she pushed to her feet, wobbly and swaying until Anders steadied her and helped her put on her coat. She looked up at him with disgruntlement. "But that's boring, we always do that." She gestured across the room. "What about on the table over there? That's more than big enough for us, and we've never had sex in Varric's room. It's new!" Marian said, in a fresh burst of giggles.

Giving Varric an unamused stare, Anders scooped Hawke up and started for the door. "Good night, Varric."

"Night, Blondie, night Hawke, be careful on the streets."

Hawke waved and smiled at her dwarf friend, pushing her nose against Anders' neck and breathing in his musky sandalwood scent that made her blood crackle with arousal, while he carried her down the stairs and out the door of the pub. She tugged his earlobe playfully with her teeth, then laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, smiling.

"I like it when you carry me in your strong arms, it makes me feel small and delicate. Some people think mages are soft and weak and can't have muscles, but you do. I want to lick them, especially your chest. Hmm, maybe I'll lick your arm muscles too, since they're the ones carrying me. They deserve proper appreciation." She sucked on the skin of his neck, running her tongue over the little scar she had made there.

He stifled his quiet groan. "You know you can lick me anywhere you want, I'm only too happy to accommodate you, and I'm very glad you like my muscles. They're useful for carrying my drunk lover, especially when she can't manage to walk on her own."

Marian lifted her head with an offended frown. "I can so too walk, all by myself. Put me down, I'll show you I can walk."

Tightening his hold, Anders gave her a quelling look. "Be still." He turned into a narrow alley behind a closed shop, just below the arched entryway into Hightown, drawing a confused look from her. "If you can be very quiet, I'll try to be less boring and fuck you right here. But if you can't be quiet, you'll just have to settle for a boring home shag. Which is it to be?"

Humming with half closed eyes, Marian's lust spiked sharply at the prospect of sex in a public place, just the sort of adventure she was in the mood for. She smiled and answered in a low whisper. "I can be as silent as the grave if it gets you to take me right here. How shall we manage it?"

He lowered her to her feet, his naughty smirk in place while he opened the closure on her pants. "Just like this," he murmured, spinning her around and pushing her over an empty barrel, while sliding her trousers and smalls down, baring her ass. "Are you wet for me, Marian?"

She glanced back at him with a sultry smile. "Aren't I always?" She whispered, clenching her jaw to contain her moan when his fingers slid over her sex, teasing and confirming her readiness. Freeing himself, he pushed his cock through her wet folds before giving a hard thrust, his muscles clenching and jaw tightening to hold back his groan at the feel of being so deep in her tight, wet heat. She clenched around him, shuddering quietly.

Fuck me, Anders, I won't make a sound.

He smiled, starting a slow rhythm. You can scream if you like, so long as it's in here, and not out there.

She laughed in his mind. Are you going to make me scream tonight?

He cupped her breast, squeezing, then reached for her hair, winding it around his fist and pulling her head back sharply, making her gasp in pleasure.

Yes, if you want me to. But not this time. If I'm going to make you scream, I'll do it with my tongue inside you.

You mean I have more to look forward to when we get home? Her breath sawed in and out, her heart raced with an urgent beat when he sped his thrusts, driving them ever closer to their crisis.

A lot more, if you can stay awake for it. I've been starving for you for hours. If you think you can match me, I'll fuck you all night. He slid his free hand over her clit, let it just rest there, smiling at her very quiet whimper.

I...I can. Maker, Anders, please, please, please? Finally, his magic-filled fingers slid back and forth over her clitoris, holding her suspended for an endless moment, hovering on the brink.

Mhh, such a good girl to beg me so nicely. Come for me, gorgeous. Suck my cock with your pretty cunt and make me come inside you.

With her eyes closed, she trembled through her climax, releasing a soft moan of pleasure when he spurted his hot cum deep inside. Warm satisfaction rose in her chest when he made his own little noise of pleasure, leaning more of his weight against her when the aftershocks faded. Smiling, Marian wondered where they were, exactly.

Standing upright, Anders withdrew from her, then pulled her up and turned her around a moment later. He slid her smalls back into place, then refastened her pants and his own. Leaning down, he kissed her, slow, thorough, mind-drugging kisses that made her forget who she was and where she was. When he lifted his head, she stared up at him in a kiss induced haze, making him smirk in satisfaction.

"Enjoy your public shag, Marian? Less boring for you than the usual?"

She sighed and gave him an adoring smile. "I loved it all, I always do, and I wasn't saying you were boring, only the location was, just a tiny bit. Variety is the spice of life, yes?"

He lifted her up into his arms again, walking back out of the alley and into Hightown proper. "One of the spices, anyway. I can certainly add more variety to our lovemaking, if that's something you want."

"I want you, any way and every way I can get you." She nuzzled against his neck again, grazing her teeth over the little scar. "I want to bite you, Anders, so badly. Can I bite you?"

He groaned. "Fuck. No, not until we're in our room. Just a few more minutes, love, alright? Then I'll gladly let you bite me. Shit, I might even beg. Do you want me to?"

She rolled the skin of his neck between her teeth, teasing him, teasing herself with what she wanted to do, but couldn't yet. "Yes, beg," she whispered. "I'll beg you right back. I want you to bite me, Anders. Oh, gods, please bite me. I want to taste you. I want you to taste me. Pleeeeease."

He entered the estate and ran to their room, shoving the door closed with his hip and walking at a quick pace to their bed, setting her down. They were both naked in less than a minute, then he was sitting on the bed, pulling her face to his neck. He released a long, loud moan when she bit into him, sucking his life essence into herself. Her own cry shattered the silence when he bit her soon after, gulping greedily at her throat.

"Oh, Andraste, that is so erotic, Anders. I can feel me becoming part of you, If you barely touched me anywhere right now, it would make me come."

Taking it as a challenge, he pushed two fingers inside her while his thumb stroked her clit, and she came immediately, spasming around his fingers and drawing a deep groan from him, before he released her throat. He kissed her hungrily, sucking her tongue while he rolled her to her back beneath him and buried his cock deep inside her again. Anders sucked at her throat the entire time he fucked her, save for briefs seconds when he let her take from him. It had never been so much before, but neither of them seemed willing or able to stop.

"Marian," he groaned, sucking her throat again. "You taste so good, sweetheart, I could drink from you forever. But maybe we should stop."

She sucked him hard again, her scream muffled against his throat when they both came again from the extreme pleasure of the blood share. He flipped over, onto his back beside her, both of them panting and out of breath from it, letting their hearts slow to a normal beat. Licking her lips for another drop of him, she touched her magic to the coursing blood in his veins, almost able to taste him through her magic. Anders cried out and spun her around, diving between her legs, tonguing her sex, licking and sucking her clitoris with such hungry fervor, he made her come twice, very quickly. She tried to twist away from him, the intensity more than she could bear.

"I can't," she gasped. "Please, I can't, not again. Anders!"

Yes, you can, and you're going to, he commanded her silently. You're going to take everything I give you, until you're too weak and spent to come anymore.

She let out a desperate whine, another peak overtaking her.

Fuck me, fuck me! I need your cock inside me. Please! Now!

Rising to his knees, he met her gaze with a fierce one of his own, lifting her up and driving his hard length into her, pistoning his hips, laying out over the top, bracing his arms on either side of her while he drove into her, over and over, pushing her into the bed. He bit her lush bottom lip softly, his tongue gliding lightly over hers, his thrusts slowing, gentling. Like he flipped a switch, he went from vigorous fucking to leisurely, tender lovemaking. The open adoration and vulnerability in his warm brown eyes making her heart twist painfully in her chest, tears rising in her eyes at the sight of his.

"I love you." I love you so much, Marian. More than anything, more than life. He whispered it against her ear, in her mind, again and again.

She gave the love right back to him, expressing it through her magic, lightly kissing the blood in his veins through her magical touch. They lay staring into each other's eyes when they were both too weak and spent for anything more. His words came back to her from years before, the night their relationship changed in the deep roads, becoming so much more than she could have imagined. With a tremulous smile, she repeated them aloud.

"'I want to make love to you until your heart beats only for me, until our souls are so entwined we won't know where you end and I begin, until you need me as desperately as I need you.' Do you remember when you said that to me?"

He caressed her cheek with a soft smile. "Of course I remember, and I got my wish. You made all those dreams come true for me, precious lover of my heart."

She kissed him and answered him in his mind. You're my every secret wish fulfilled, my perfect man.

Laying her head against his chest, she closed her eyes, drifting into sleep to the familiar beat of his heart.

~O~