They reached a city just before sunset. Everyone was so tired. Shang recommended Soldiers eat dinner and go to sleep because they'll continue walking early in the morning.
They didn't have enough tents so he decided to divide them into pairs.
- Ping, it looks like you'll have your own tent - Shang said. - You don't have a partner.
- What! - Chi Fu screamed. - He has his own tent but I'll have to share with you?! I want my tent!- Shang grimaced as he heard the man complaining like he was a spoiled three-year-old.
- Okay, fine - he said. - I'll share tent with Ping. You'll have your own.
- What? - Mulan looked at Shang terrified.
He gave her a pointed look.
- It means of course I will share tent with you – she corrected herself.
- Come on, soldiers. Hurry up. It's already late.
Men started to put up their tents. It didn't take long time. Then they lit a fire and ate dinner. They dispersed among their tents.
Mulan walked to her and Shang's tent. She was stressed. She has never sleep in the same place with other soldiers. It wasn't save. What if he found out?
- I'll check the horses - Shang infromed. - I'll come back in ten minutes.
Mulan nodded, trying to stop her hands from shaking.
- You okay? You look pale - he asked.
- Yes, I'm just tired.
- Rest. You'll need that - Shang said and left a tent.
Mulan let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. She decided to use these little time to dress up before Shang came back. She let her hair down and replaced her combat clothes with loose cloth pants. She was in the process of putting on her blouse when the entrance to the tent slid open and Shang entered.
- I forgot… - he was talking but stopped. - Ping?
He looked at her body wrapped in bandages in the dim moonlight.
- Why do you have does bandages? Did you get hurt? Why didn't you tell me?
- No, I… - she forgot to turned her voice into men's voice. - I…
He looked at her face. Loose hair and delicate cheekbones. A slim figure and muscular, but still small arms. Suddenly everything became clear. How could he not have noticed this before? High-pitched voice, fluid movements, physical weakness?
- You're a woman - he said, more to himself than to her.
- Shang, wait, please - she begged. - I can explain.
- I hope you have good arguments. You know I should kill you?
- I knew that. I did that to protect my father. He's old and sick. He was a soldier long time ago and got hurt. I couldn't let him go to the army. He would die. I didn't have a brother. It's only me. I had to do it.
Shang sighned. He knew how it feels like to be worried about dad. His father was soldier since he can remember. His mother died when he was born. Shang was living with his aunt but she was very strict. He was just a child who needed love. That's why she became so strong. He turned all of these loneliness and pain into power. All of these things made him the man he is.
- I said you to come back. You had a choice.
- I couldn't come back. How could I look into my parents' eyes after all of these matters? And… I also wanted to show them. Show them that woman's fate isn't only about being a quiet, modest woman who agreed for everything.
- You're the most powerful woman I've ever met - Shang said. - That's why I can't kill you. How could I live with that murder?
- I'm sorry, Shang. It's all my fault.
He looked at her. On her shoulder-length black hair. small but visible despite the bandages brast.
She was a woman. How could he not notice it? Strange behavior, high-pitched voice, lack of physical strength? He attributed it to his young age and mutation. How could he be so stupid?
- What are you thinking about? - Mulan asked scared. She was afraid he would pull out a knife and kill her. How could he?
- What should I do, Mulan?
- Kill me I guess - her voice was shaking. It wasn't just because of fear. The temperature dropped significantly and the cold was felt.
- Lie down and cover yourself. You'll get cold.
- It's fine.
Shang raised his eyebrows, but instead of persuading her, he walked over to the mattress on the ground and lay down himself. He knew that eventually she would do it too. He wasn't wrong. However, despite the blanket, the cold was still felt. Mulan was silently barking her teeth.
- I remembered a trick my father taught me, but you might not like it.
- What does it mean?
- 'When it is extremely cold in the camp, soldiers should sleep close to each other to keep each other warm'
- Och…
- We'll do it - Shang ordered. - I know you're a woman and it's immoral, but I can't let you or me get sick.
- O-okay – Mulan said. She would do anything to stop feeling cold
They moved the mattresses closer to each other in silence. Shang grabbed her blanket and his own, creating a double layer. Then he moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around hers.
- I'm sorry - he whispered.
- I-It's fine - she said still shaking. As the minutes passed, her body gradually warmed up.
- Better? - he asked.
- Yes, thank you - she said. - Shang… Will you kill me?
Shang grimaced at the thought that she thought he would kill her in her sleep.
- I won't do it. Don't worry. You're safe. I won't tell anyone but sooner or later everybody found out.
- I know - she sighned. - I'm so sorry that I'm a problem again. I… I just wanted to be needed. I've already brought disgrace to the family. My conversation with the matchmaker didn't go well. I just can't understand why women are worse than men. Like actually why we have to be house wives, always cooking and taking care of children? I love beeing a soldier.
- You haven't experienced the pain of being a soldier yet.
- But I love trainings. I love adrenaline. I love being needed.
- Women are also needed. They're giving birth and…
- But people always respect men more. They're strength, they have rights. I don't have anything when I'm Mulan. You'll always respect me only when I'm Ping. Why the rules said that women can't be soldiers? Maybe I wasn't good at first but I became better.
- I think men just want their wife to be safe.
- But did you think about them? Women wait for their husbands for years and some of them never come back. They had to handle everything; kids, house, money. They had to always look good, behave kind and help everyone, They had to get married, have kids. But why if they don't want it? Nobody cares. I'm this kind of girl who never behave good, don't like makeup and wanna ride a horse or shoot a bow. My family hate me for this. Because I'm a girl. I need to act like one. Why couldn't I have been born a boy? And now you have to kill me so I'll never see my family again, I'll never fight in real, I'll never be respectful. I'll just die because I was stubborn.
Silent tears began to flow down Mulan's cheeks.
- I'm sorry, I shouldn't…
- It's okay - Shang hugged her tighter and she burst into tears. He felt sad at the thought of this woman dying. He couldn't believe how amazing she was. he had never heard of a girl who managed to survive in the army. her courage, strength, bravery amazed him. she didn't need a man to protect her, but in that moment shang promised himself that he would do everything to not let her die. Even though he didn't want to admit it, he already fell in love with her.
- They won't kill you I promise – he said.
- I just want to see my family again. Apologize them for everything…
- You won't apologize to them. They will apologize to you for not believing in you. Soon everyone will see how strong you are. you are my best soldier, Mulan.
Her name when he said it sounded so perfect. The girl enjoyed the sound, yawning.
- Go to sleep – man said. - You need rest.
- Shang, don't treat me like a sensitive girl. I hate that.
- Captain for you. It was an order, soldier.
Mulan rolled her eyes but snuggled closer to his shoulder and fell asleep. Shang stared at her calm face for a long time, wondering what he should do.