Prompt #63: You Are In Love (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

You Are In Love

~oOo~

Time moved too fast on her, and Olivia had lost track until she ripped the 'January' page off her calendar and saw Wednesday – 14 printed in red to mark the holiday. Valentine's Day was in two weeks, and she might have plans, or have to make plans, this year.

The last few years all she'd needed to think about was picking up some chocolates for Noah and some little cards for him to pass out to his classmates – all of which could be grabbed on the 13th at 8 pm at Duane Reade if she were really in a bind for time. It might not be the best selection, but she'd yet to totally strike out.

~oOo~

Elliot had been home for just over a year. It had taken no time at all for them to get back into their rhythm. To her initial annoyance, even a decade of his absence had not erased their synchronization. Even with so much left unsaid, there had been a connection between them that defied explanation.

When they worked together, they moved in unison, acted as a single force. They didn't need to discuss who would drive – he would. For 12 years in shitty oversized sedans that handled like boats, and now for four more in comfortable oversized SUVs that handled like tanks. (She didn't mind driving the SUVs as much, but her preference was still for sleek and sporty cars, so she'd happily acquiesced the driving duties.) They didn't need to tell each other when to move, or what they wanted to do next. One look was enough. One look could direct. One look could explain. One look could acknowledge. They walked shoulder to shoulder, in flawlessly synchronized steps, through hallways and down streets.

'Holy shit, that's Captain Benson and Detective Stabler!' she'd once heard a young officer say under his breath to his partner.

'I guess we've still got it,' she'd smiled to herself, only to glance over and see Elliot's shit-eating grin as he kept his eyes forward pretending not to have heard it too.

They'd been talking, and texting, since he'd gotten home last winter. Which led to occasional coffees together in her office, in the late mornings on slow days for OCCB, and at midnight on a couple of days they'd rather forget about. Then there were dinners with Noah at her apartment and sometimes pizza nights with Kathleen. And without realizing when it happened, being 'back' had shifted into something completely new.

She closed her eyes and tried to play it back, to figure out when back had become 'better'.

~oOo~

It couldn't have been as early as the night he'd gotten back. The night he was back in the city, in his own clothes, with his own name. He'd called her to let her know. A week or so later, he had texted her and asked if he could stop by. She was 'still at the 1-6', she'd told him.

'Good', he'd replied, and then knocked softly on the office door. She'd stood up slowly, stunned. And he'd smiled at her in a way that was tired but unburdened. He'd reached out with his left hand to indicate the gold chain and pendant around her neck, and he'd said something. Something she was sure was a self-satisfied remark about her wearing it, but that she hadn't quite heard because she'd noticed that his left hand no longer bore a gold ring.

It wasn't the night they laughed until they cried over a faded and threadbare old zip-up sweatshirt hanging over a stool at the kitchen counter. The one they'd traded back and forth for years until she rescued it from his abandoned locker when making room for a new detective. It was already funny how Noah had looked at them when they explained that it was twice his age. But then Elliot pointed out that while it had been in her closet for the last 13 years, they had joint custody of it, and he was invoking his visitation rights. He'd started toward it, and she'd raced him for it, reaching it at the same time and each trying to shove an arm into a sleeve. He'd stretched his huge arm up over her shoulder and through the sleeve nearest her, before donning his own side. He wore it the rest of the night but after he'd left, she noticed it folded up on the arm of the couch, smelling of him.

~oOo~

She definitely didn't think it was when they had a knock-down, drag-out screaming match in the middle of OCCB. She'd been so messy and conflicted that day. She'd stopped in to see him on a whim, which was so unlike her, and while she was waiting for him at his desk, she'd noticed the picture. In a small non-descript silver frame, he had a printed copy of a selfie they had taken a few weeks before. And then he'd walked in with dried blood under his nose and a bruise blooming over his orbital.

"Reckless," "Impulsive," "stubborn," she'd spat at him amongst chides of, "You're not in your 30s, Elliot," "You're supposed to be careful," and "Won't be happy until you end up dead."

She'd stormed out to her car, flushed with anger and embarrassment that most of his team had heard their spat. Nothing she'd said was any less true in the professional sense, but she was not his commanding officer, and it was doubtful anyone thought he was being reprimanded by a superior. She'd texted Ayanna an apology and hastily called Fin to ask him to hold down the fort for the afternoon. She hadn't even bothered to make up an excuse, just told him that she would see him tomorrow.

She'd stood in the shower as long as she could stand the steam and hot water. She'd made tea that sat untouched until it got cold while she stared at her phone trying to think of what to say or do next. He'd made the choice for her, texting simply, "When you're ready, I want to talk."

Ready. To this day she didn't think she understood the word.

But that night after Noah had settled into his room, she'd called Elliot back. He'd answered on the first ring. She tried more calmly to explain, and he said she didn't have to. He said it wasn't as bad as it looked, he'd taken an elbow to the face while making an arrest, but that she'd been right to take him down a peg. "It might be you're the only one who can at this point" he'd tried to joke. But she'd been in a serious mood. "I'm not kidding. El, I can't lose you again."

"I'm not kidding either. Liv, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

And he didn't.

~oOo~

It might have been the first night they spent together. That had certainly changed a number of things, but not the way she expected. No boundary they ever imposed on themselves had actually quelled their want for one another, nor had it kept them from forming an attachment that went beyond partners, friends, or companions of any other definition. It may have been the first time they could refer to themselves as lovers, but rather than change their dynamic, it felt like permission to stay the same. Noah had been upstate for the weekend, and they'd planned to go on what Elliot insisted was 'a proper date'. But as they knew, their lives didn't always lend themselves to luxuries like that. An autopsy came back with highly unusual results, and a CI ended up in Mercy. So, their reservations went unclaimed while she was at the morgue, and he paced a hospital hallway. It was Saturday night by the time they'd met back at his place with enough takeout to feed a small army, but neither of them felt like eating.

They'd talked for a bit, before turning on the TV and communicating in ways more familiar to them. A look from her, his gentle squeeze at her upper arm. They'd let their bodies soak in the ease that only proximity to the other would generate. And without any catalyst, with no open acknowledgment, she knew that ease was no longer enough. She'd stood and held out her hand to him. He'd searched her eyes, and when he found the answer he wanted there, he'd taken it, and let her lead him into his bedroom.

She'd long assumed that physical intimacy between them would be a furious ravaging, as though they could make up 25 years of unrequited passion in one night, if only they tried hard enough. She was surprised to find it was intense in an entirely different way. They took their time, took care in exploring each other. Not because they were hesitant (subsequent nights to themselves proved they could be anything but), but because they now had the time to take. They spent hours looking at each other and touching each other simply because they could. The way he alternated between dirty talk and sweet nothings had intoxicated her. As they lay in the afterglow, one of them anyway, he'd popped himself on his elbow, tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, and told her, "Liv, you mean the world to me. You're my best friend." And the remark which would have felt like a dismissal, the ultimate rejection, from any other man, was a love song from the lips of Elliott Stabler.

In the morning, she'd woken up beside him and didn't feel any need to run home. She slid out of bed with her phone to check her email and send a text to Noah. She took one look at his coffee maker and decided she'd let him deal with it when he got up. She'd found grapes in the fridge that still looked fresh and made herself some toast. It was hardly toasted after the first pass, so she put it in for a second, which left it a bit darker than she preferred it. 'But perfectly serviceable with a bit of butter on it,' she'd thought. She'd no sooner popped back into the fridge than she felt him enter the kitchen. He came up behind her and laid kisses across her shoulder while sliding an arm around her waist.

"You stayed," he'd murmured.

"I stayed. I even helped myself to breakfast." She'd waved her hand vaguely in the direction of her plate before resuming her mission for butter.

"Let me take you to brunch," he offered, tugging her back to him and nuzzling into the back of her neck. "'S bad enough I didn't even take you on a proper date first, I can't send you home from our first night together with nothin' but burnt toast and week-old grapes."

Luckily, they had plenty more nights and even a couple of dates.

~oOo~

If it wasn't then, it was probably a couple weeks ago. Eli was still home between semesters, and the Stabler clan had descended upon them for dinner and games. They weren't technically living together, but she and Noah spent more nights than not at Elliot's. Since he was more likely to get home at a reasonable hour, Elliot had even taken over picking up Noah from school or relieving the sitter.

There had been a long discussion about whether Noah was old enough to invest money in card games.

"We can play for nickels!" Eli had insisted. "Pennies?" he'd pleaded.

Olivia's cop face and mom face blurred into a look of resolve which brought everyone to the conclusion that they would play for M&Ms.

"At least until you're good enough to kick Eli's ass," Kathleen had whispered to Noah.

After an hour or so, she'd felt Elliot's hand on her elbow and when she'd looked to his face, he'd hooked his head toward the garden door. They rose together, and besides a sidelong glance and smirk from Kathleen, the boisterous brood hardly seemed to notice them.

"You okay?" she'd asked, as they exited to the garden.

"Better than." He smiled, drawing her close. "I love this. Them, all together, getting along."

She beamed back at him. "It's nice." She hummed, pressing into him in the night, which was crisp, but almost too warm for January. He leaned his cheek against her hair as they stood, watching a bit wistfully through the window as their brood of kids and grandkids laughed.

Her anxiety about blending their families had been unfounded from the moment they'd all met. Elliot's kids mostly felt like family to Olivia anyway, and in some ways, she was unsurprised about how seamlessly they accepted him. But his attachment had still worried her at times. Until the first time Eli had found him on PlayStation from his college dorm and invited him to play. And when Maureen asked him if he'd like to join her, Karl, and their boys at a baseball game. The efforts outside of her changing relationship with Elliot had warmed her to the idea that they could be a family; no matter what the future looked like, maybe they could be part of it.

"Oh, hey, look up" he suddenly said, nudging her. A light snow was beginning to fall. Small flakes, like pieces of glitter, fell from the upper atmosphere lasting just long enough to catch the light before melting as they landed. He held her to his chest and started to sway gently.

"Dance with me," he'd said. His voice was so low-pitched and gravelly it was nearly a growl, but so tender in tone.

"Since when are you such a romantic, Stabler?" she'd teased even as she reached an arm up around his neck to grant his request.

"Since I got the chance to make up for 25 years of not being romantic." He smiled softly.

"Uh, guys?" Dickie's voice cut into their private world. "It's Liv's turn to pick a game… as much as I hate to interrupt this – whatever it is,"

"Gross is what it is," Kieran said, eliciting laughter from Eli, Seamus, Noah, and Liz.

"You pronounced 'adorable' wrong," Maureen chided her son with a gentle poke, as Olivia and Elliot had rejoined the family. Their family.

~oOo~

She was shaken from her reverie by her phone ringing.

"Good, I caught you before you left!" McGrath. 'Left?' she thought, glancing at the clock and realizing to her horror that it was already 5:20. 'Damn this man,' ran through her mind like a mantra, as her chief continued to talk at her for 15 full minutes, after acknowledging that she very well should have been out the door. When she was finally, finally free, she headed for home. She fired off a text to Elliot and Noah, "Gonna be late, guys. Start dinner without me, I'm on my way."

She stopped at a Hallmark shop before heading out of Manhattan. Used to a spartan last-minute selection she was overwhelmed by the sea of greeting cards there. There was a card for just about every relationship. She read a few 'funny', a few 'love', and even two specifically for a 'new relationship'. She couldn't even bring herself to pick up the ones categorized as 'boyfriend' because they made her feel about 15 years old.

Eventually, she decided that nothing preordained was going to work for her, which was fitting. There was nothing typical about the path they'd taken to each other, so expecting it to fit into a commercial greeting card was too great an ask. She looked finally at the blank cards, then, and her eyes were drawn to a simple black and white image of a couple's hands, fingers intertwined. She bought it, and wrote inside:

El,

I am so in love with you.

Always,

Liv.

The author of this SVU - Love Lead You Home story will be revealed in March