There was ringing around him. Chowder woke up from the sound of it. It took him seconds to realize it wasn't a direct result of his brain trauma. A telephone was ringing off the hook. He reached and answered.

"Ahoy?"

"Chowder? Is that you?"

"Gazpacho!?" Chowder bounced, "What's up, man?"

"Look... I have to come clean, kid! This lie will only come bite me in the ass once judgement day arrives"

"Lie? whatd'ya mean lie?"

"Weell... remember the cow I sold to you guys earlier? I kinda lied about it being fresh"

"No shit!"

Panic struck Gazpacho, "y-y-you mean it's already starting? the infestation!? Oh God, I'm sorry, man!" the vendor was hyperventilating, "Mother seriously needed the medication! She's a manic depressive! Hell, I'm a sick fuck too... I'm a pathological liar!"

"What the fuck are you talking about, Gazpacho!?"

"Otis the cow wasn't raised in some stupid barnyard, Chowder! I stole him from a top-secret government facility! He's a failed test subject! The Illuminati had this fucked up plan to solve world hunger by equally starving everyone using genetically-modified tapeworms. I was just informed about this hours ago. If I had known, I wouldn't have sold him to Mung! I doomed the world... Fuck, I'm gonna kill myself for this!"

"Enough! Stop whining and help me fix this mess, bro!" Chowder said.

"I already contacted the authorities! They're on their way now!"

"Ok! hang up, Gazpacho! I have to go meet them!" told Chowder and Gazpacho did so, literally hanging himself. Behind the line were sounds of a chair being pushed, a strained rope and lastly, the strangled breath of Gazpacho.

Just when Chowder was about to get up, he saw all four infected standing across him, ominously staring at him. They no longer resemble people; just bloated decaying masses of boils, pus and necrotic pores ever leaking with putrid infected bodily fluids.

Chowder formed two fingers into a cross, but deep inside he knew God wouldn't do jackshit, "Get back! Get back! Get back to where you once belonged!"

The monsters laughed at him before charging at the lone boy.

As the worm-people were on the verge of attacking Chowder, they were abruptly repelled by a sudden blast from outside! Emerging through the falling rubble and dust was Kurt Russell, armed with a flamethrower he was!

"You must be the authorities!?" rejoiced Chowder.

"Shit yeah! But you can call me, MacReady!"

Kurt Russell brought the 80s back and unleashed hell, eliciting collateral damage after collateral damage. But what mattered most was that they worked; his flames and pipe bombs scorched the last of the worms down to their cellular level. All evidence of the organism were erased from existence in an instant. "AHHHH! To hell with you, alien scums!" He pulled a mini-gun outta his ass and gunned down the blackened ashes, treating them to a fireworks display of glorious muzzle flares. Kurt Russell is unhinged. He's so committed to clearing the area that he took it so far as deliberately dousing himself in flames too. Chowder had to smother him with a fire extinguisher.

Once the extermination was complete, Kurt Russell and Chowder exited the destroyed building. Waiting for them outside were the army and dudes in hazmat suits.

"Any of you, ok?" One paramedic asked.

Kurt Russell gave the thumbs up.

"I'm fine as well..." said Chowder, "But all that jazz kinda made me very hungr-"

Kurt's revolver blew Chowder's head into a million pieces. He ain't taking any chances.

THE END