Chapter 25

Rebecca had urgency in her need to see Phileas. Nothing else mattered. She was not sure what she would say, but she might start by thanking him for rejoining the service to be with her in this. Despite the implied insult against her abilities, she had always hoped Phileas would return. She had sought his help in missions since his resignation to remind him how good it felt to work for the country's benefit. But to have him forced into it made the return hollow.

Now, feeling the same sort of anger over the mechanisms of the service that he felt when he resigned, Rebecca reassessed her earlier notions. Perhaps his take on what had happened to him, and Erasmus, held more truth than she had allowed. Perhaps he had been right about everything.

Perhaps I should leave once this is over.

Rebecca walked on through the night-blackened park. She knew where he would be. She knew this park like her own face. Rebecca made the turn toward the oaks that separated the park into sections, flanked by a pond where the boys had spent most of their time. Phileas, as expected, was sitting on a bench under the trees that faced it.

He heard her steps and stood to meet her, removing his hat.

When Rebecca was close enough to see his face clearly, it told her all she needed to know. He was in as much pain as she was. Had this been done to him, Phileas would have been livid. Actually, he had been livid when I did it to him. But I only volunteered him for the use the Aurora, which was after all government property, was it not?

No, I backdoored him into that mission in this same fashion.

Rebecca pushed that admission out of her mind. She could deal with only so much in one night.

Phileas's face as she had been rocketed out of the cave in Canada accused her next. Phileas had been devastated. And when they had found her later, she had tried to be cavalier, but he wouldn't have it. He ordered Passepartout to take the Aurora to the nearest clearing to land while he lowered himself to her. Once on the ground, he had taken her in his arms for so long and had held her so tightly she couldn't breathe. Then, when his fears had been eased, and he was convinced that she was whole, he promised to, "break your bloody neck if you ever put me through such hell again."

He expects me to react to this in the same way.

No Phileas, I will hold none of this against you.

They had been in this position before, on another mission. After the rescue of the Peruvian diplomat from Count Gregory, she had been hurt and pushed too far by his insistence that she kill him to cause his similar to disappear, and thus alert the palace to the danger to the queen. They had sat together, stewing in emotional turmoil for hours. She had been so livid with him for pushing her into actually put her hand to his throat and…

Not this time.

Rebecca gave up all pretense of control and pride by acting first. He did not deserve any of her anger. He had acted honorably, as he always did. Jordan had lied and Chatsworth had manipulated, but Phileas was only guilty of wanting to help her.

Rebecca practically jumped into her cousin's arms. Phileas, in response, held her so tightly she couldn't breathe. She did not need to worry about standing; he was holding her off the ground in his embrace.

When he did finally loosen his hold, she turned up her head to him, shifted in his arms, got her hands on either side of his face, and pulled him down into a kiss that pulled the world out from under both their feet.

Phileas did not react. And then, instincts took over.

When Rebecca had come into his arms, Phileas had given a heartfelt prayer of thanksgiving. She had not blamed him for the lies told to her. He had worried whether Chatsworth could get past her rage. He pulled back to ask forgiveness for all the charges he had tallied against himself, but wasn't given the chance.

Much later, Phileas found himself under the oaks in the park, coming out of a blinding fog of emotion. Rebecca was lying on the ground beside him on his cape. Her hair flowing around her face, her lips soft and swollen.

How did we get into this position?

Her unrepentant abandon would have made anyone lose sight of such incidentals. Phileas willed himself to stand, lifting Rebecca to her feet. He gathered his cape, hat, and cane and led her back to the house.

Once inside, he saw three choices: his old rooms, hers…or for me to find some self-control and leave. The third choice seemed the wiser course. Rebecca had been through hell and needed time to get back to normal. Once done, she might regret their momentary weakness.

Fogg stopped himself from following her further into the house. He needed to leave.

Rebecca turned to Phileas to see why he had stopped. She saw the emerald fire in his eyes cooling. He was going to leave. For a moment, she looked past him to the door, then to the stairs leading to their rooms.

"Umm, Phileas?"

Always the gentleman, Phileas is giving me a chance to change her mind.

"Phileas, could you stay? I don't want to be alone. I, I don't want us falling into each other's arms again either. We let that ship sail years ago. Do you really want to revisit it?"

Phileas just looked at her.

Rebecca didn't think Phileas had ever seen her as anything but a sister, but now and then, since they grew up, some odd mischief nudged them in this direction. Rebecca knew why she had kissed him. She didn't know why it turned into what it had.

Phileas looked down, not sure what to say. Protective instincts and familial love were all he had ever felt for Rebecca, except for blinding moments like this that he didn't understand. One such moment had me proposing to her years back. Being half-drunk on brandy to control my nerves, she rightly refused me.

Yes, I'm attracted to her, but do I really want her? That means forever, Phileas, something you've been avoiding for years. If we go upstairs, there would be no going back. And she has already said she doesn't want that.

He stood there, looking at the floorboards, not sure what to do.

Rebecca glanced away into the parlor. She saw the files Chatsworth left. "Sir Jonathan left me some mission files. I don't think I will get any sleep tonight. Would you go through them with me?"

It was a deflection, nothing more. Nothing would be settled by it except their nerves.

Phileas bit his lip and nodded. "Yes, I don't think I'm going to sleep tonight, either."

He followed her into the parlor.