It had been a wonderful night in the Morningstar household, yet dawn made itself known in a less than pleasant way. It started with a groan from the king of Hell, followed by attempts at tossing & turning, and a peculiar pain in the neck. A cold sweat made itself known, as fabric shifted to expose skin to air. Then came the kicking, and an irritated yelp of the mistress. In her jolted response, a muscle in her calf tightened, leading to a yelp of pain.
"Aaaahrgh! FffFUCK, my leg!" She winced in agony, yet some part of her attempted to stifle any noise, leading her to pant through her teeth. "Lucy...what the fuck...?" The dark lady looked to her husband, who was now in a twisted heap, with half of the bedspread coiled around him like he used to with his tail. Even through the pain, she could tell something wasn't quite right with her husband.
"Rrph! Nnot! So loud..." He was certainly awake, at least, clamping the pillow over his head. "Wh...what's wrong?"
"You woke me up too quickly, and I pulled my leg!"
"Yeah, well, I feel like I pulled my skull!"
"Your skull? Wh..." Pain was slowly replaced by puzzlement, "Let...let me see..."
"N-no, I think it'll be fine..." He weakly assured her. However, the fluttering of loose pillow feathers through the air hinted otherwise.
"Lucifer..." she grunted, pulling him up by the arm to get a good look at her husband. He gave a pained, embarrassed look to her, as they were brought face to face. The pillow then shortly slid over his face. "Come on, act your a..." She briefly thought he was deliberately hiding it, only to find horns extending through the other face of the pillow. "So, that's where the feather's came from..." With delicate, careful hands, she un-forked the cushion from his head, and got a better look at them.
"How... How bad does it look, Lil?"
"That's... new. You wouldn't bring out your horns for nothing..."
"I like these pillows, I've got no reason to skewer 'em."
She pinched between her eyes, "Well, just put them away, and we'll take a better look after breakfast..."
He sighed, and went through the motions to withdraw them. His head was pounding, and he made his way to get some medicine out of the cabinet. Upon closing it, he got a look of himself in the mirror, and the pill fell from his lips. Not only were his horns still out, but they'd become strangely bloated and fuzzy! He let out a shriek, spurring his wife to race to his aid.
"Lucifer!?"
"My horns... they won't go back in!" He attempted to get them back inside normally, then pushing at them, then pulling. He attempted to shapeshift into a snake form, and it only elongated his human form! He tried to turn into a goat, and it only twisted the shape of his legs!
"What is happening to you!?"
"I don't know!" He exclaimed, fear forming on his face. "I was just gonna...oh god...!" He hastily opened the toilet, and expelled a bizarre fluid, comprising many bright colors.
"R...rainbow puke?" Lilith covered her mouth in confused concern.
"I-I don't know." he gagged out some more. and slumped over the toilet. "I don't know what's come over me!"
"Well, one thing is clear: you're not going out, today."
"What? No!" He hastily stood back up before her, "I've got so much work to do! I can't let my work stagnate! What would the other sins think?"
"They'd probably think you're an idiot, going to work barfing a new paintjob all over the place."
"But I'm-" He swallowed another gag, "It's really nothing. Seems it's all worked itself out of my system."
"Lucifer, your horns are covered in velvet, you can't shapeshift right, and you're regurgitating more colors than your body naturally has. You are sick."
"I'm fiiii-RHMPPH!" He tried to assure her, and she quickly took his head to direct his next discharge to the toilet again. After the last of it, he tried to move his head out suddenly, and instead bumped it against the lid. "OUF!"
"Sorry, sweetie!" She pulled him up, wiping his lips clean. "You're sick, and you're not gonna get better without treatment" Her face was full of love and concern.
Through his namesake pride, Lucifer weakly smiled, and nodded. "I...okay, Lilith. I'll call in sick... I am feeling kind of a mess... And it's funny, that bumping my head seemed to relieve some of that..." he tried to walk to the shower, only for his leg to buckle, stumble, slip, and nearly fall.
Picking her man up off his feet, she lay him in the tub. "No shower today, Lucy. But maybe a regular bath could help." And she started the water.
"I'm not a baby, Lilith," Lucifer grunted indignantly, though eased by her smile. And without any words, accepted a rubber duck she handed to him. Drawing a sigh, he nodded. "I can at least handle the rest of this."
She nodded back, "I'm going to call Buer and have him take a look at you."
Lucifer's sigh drained into bubbles as he sank his lips under the water. He didn't dislike him, but the Goetia were always so fussy about nobility & birth, and many did not care for an elected president in hell-even a Great one. This whole thing was going to be a giant mess, if it got out. He mimed to himself, having to explain the whole thing, jerking his head about as he soaked in the water.
Suddenly, his shaky posture caused him to slip inside, and banged his head against the faucet. He groaned at the sharp pain, followed by...relief? "Wh..what?"
He blinked as he reoriented himself. Perhaps it was this affliction, or frustration, but he willing bumped his head against the faucet again. Minor pain...then more relief. It was like scratching a deep itch. He thumped his head a few more times.
"Lucifer?" Lilith called from the other room, "Everything alright?"
"I'm okay, darling!" He assured her, keeping a cool head, while still wanting to hit it harder.
Breakfast was one-sided, with Lucifer eating nothing for fear of bringing back the rainbow puke. He was slumped over the table, while Lilith rubbed his shoulder. "I know, sweetie. Buer is on his way. We'll keep this down-low."
"How? I was supposed to do three meetings, today, and a conference with the Goetia! They're gonna connect the dots, and then it's gonna bubble up to the other sins, and you KNOW Leviathan's gonna hang it over me for months! Maybe YEARS!" He slammed his head into the table.
"Lucifer! Get a hold of yourself!" Lilith sternly grabbed her husband.
"It makes me feel better! Really! It actually mitigates my headache!"
"Acting like a despondent child, you mean? How is that supposed to help your health?"
"I don't know, it just does! What did Buer say?"
"He said he was coming, now would you stop this? I'm going to get some medicine, and you're going to take it properly!" She stood and huffed up the stairs.
Lucifer groaned, and the headache panged fiercely. He was about to slam his head into the table again, but stopped himself. Too loud. Staggering up to the counters, cabinets, and drawers. He looked for a suitable blunt object to work this out.
Ladel? Too weak.
Pizza spatula? Too wide.
Frying pan? Too cartoony.
Eventually, his eyes happened upon a meat tenderizer, and he started bashing his forehead with the smooth end. Some sweet release. It seemed like the harder he hit, the longer the pain faded...at least the headache.
When Lilith retuned, she dropped the pills along with her jaw. "Lucifer! What are you doing to yourself!?"
"It's therapeutic!"
"But you... I've never even seen your face that color before!" She hurried over to take the mallet from him.
"Just a little more!" he struggled against it, "It's almost clear!"
"Clear!?" she barked, "You have a crack running through your forehead, Lucifer Morningstar!"
"It feels like something's trying to get out of my head!"
"Yes! And your brain is supposed to STAY in there! Now give me that...!"
The two struggled against each other, unaware of the spill left by his prior search. The two slipped off their feet, and fell to the floor! Lilith inadvertently grabbed one of his horns, with Lucifer landing forehead-first on the stony tile! A loud crack was heard by both, and light issued out from the top of his head!
"NO!" Lilith screamed in horror at her wounded husband. More of that wretched rainbow fluid seeped out of the gash, as the light was practically blinding! Cradling his body, she wept in despair and grief, fearing she had lost her love forever.
Then, she noticed the crying of another. Tears blurred her vision, but a weak hand wiped them away. The light had subsided.
Lucifer put his hand to her face, and the two looked to the sound of the new voice. On the floor, curled up and crying in this strange, colorful goop was a small, round, baby demon.
The breath left their lungs, and they simply looked to the child. With shaky, but careful hands, the two scooped up the infant.
Like Lucifer, her cheeks had red circles. Like Lilith, she had long, honey-colored hair. After a minute, her wailing trailed off, and she looked up at the two of them. The two turned to one another, and tears started to well in their eyes, as they slowly smiled.
Lucifer's jaw trembled, and one of the velvety horns seemed to fall off, like a snake's shed skin. "My...my headache is gone."
Lilith embraced the two, as tears joyfully ran down her face.
Moments later, the doors swung open, and a five-legged lion-demon trotted in, "I came as quick as I could, Majesty! What's the afflictio...?" The words fell off from his lips as he beheld the scene before them. Lucifer & Lilith Morningstar kneeling in their kitchen, cradling their newborn baby. A blessing. A miracle in Hell: Charlotte.