Prompt #31: Elliot tries to sweep Olivia off her feet and get her to finally let her guard down by making up something called the 12 Days of Valentine's — 12 days full of overly romantic and sweet gestures
Chasing Love
~oOo~
PROLOGUE
It had been nearly a month since Olivia and Elliot had slept together the first time. They were still sleeping together, often actually. However, Elliot still had absolutely no idea where they actually stood beyond that. He didn't want just a physical no-strings-attached relationship, not with Olivia. She meant so much more than that to him; and had for a long time. Longer than he was willing to admit.
He loved her. He had said that to her during the intervention after Kathy's death, in front of his children — definitely not his best moment. There actually hadn't been many best moments of his when it came to Olivia since May 2011, his own doing of course and through no fault of Olivia's. Elliot wanted to prove that he was not the same man who just up and vanished on her for a decade, and then tried to push her away for most of the time since he had been back. Olivia was right about one thing. It did seem like Elliot only reached out to her when he needed her help with something. He didn't want to be that guy, because Olivia deserved better.
He had been thinking about this for the last week or so. There had to be some way to really show Olivia how much she meant to him and to assure her that he wasn't going to disappear on her again. He had finally figured out what he was going to do. For each of the twelve days leading up to Valentine's Day, he was going to do something special for Olivia. Actions speak louder than words. When he told Olivia this, she had just rolled her eyes, saying he'd stop by the third day and he'd also probably be undercover again before Valentine's Day.
~oOo~
DAY ONE || FEBRUARY 3, 2023
Olivia arrived at the precinct later than the rest of the squad, mainly because the drive from Elliot's apartment in Long Island City was longer than the one from her apartment. Sleeping over at Elliot's after yet another night of them having sex with one another was something that Olivia had refused to truly analyze.
She wasn't comfortable with actually having to define their relationship, but she also was comfortable enough to stay at Elliot's, with both their sons and his mother in the same apartment. It was obvious that at a minimum, both Bernie and Eli were aware exactly what Elliot and Olivia were doing. She wasn't sure if it also meant that Noah did, but she kind of hoped her 9-year-old son didn't know much there. To Noah's credit, he never seemed to mind when Olivia brought him to Elliot's. She couldn't thank Elliot enough for having Noah stay with Maureen and Carl during the BX9 stuff, or Elliot for staying with her. Elliot not letting her go through that alone, really did something to Olivia.
Olivia had completely forgotten about Elliot's Twelve Days Of Valentine's thing until she walked into her entire squad just staring at her. The first thing that she noticed was the smirk on Fin's face. It didn't take her long to realize why he was smirking. The bouquet of flowers sitting on her desk in her office was the reason. She closed her office door, ignoring the various looks from her squad members. Picking up the card from inside the flowers, Olivia immediately noticed the handwriting was definitely Elliot's. She read the card to herself.
Liv
I was going to get you 25 roses since we met 25 years ago. But, the truth is, I don't deserve to have ten of those roses counted. We were partners for thirteen years and I've been back in your life for almost two years. That comes out to fifteen roses. The irony of that is that when someone gives a person fifteen roses, it is an apology and they are saying "I'm sorry."
Well, when I learned that, I definitely knew it had to be fifteen over twenty-five. The colors of the roses matter too. The reason they are all different colors is simple. You stir up various emotions in me, Olivia. I can't even put it into words.
But, know this — this is Day One. I WILL make it to Day Twelve. You think I'll give up a quarter of the way through, but the thing is, I can't give up on you, Benson. I'm not wired to do so. I've given up on myself various times in the last 25 years, but I've never given up on you. Won't stop proving that to you, so please just let me?
Semper Fi,
El.
Olivia softly smiled to herself, trying to suppress her desire to cry at how incredibly thoughtful this was. Wiping her eyes, she pulled out her phone, snapping a picture of the flowers and texted Elliot.
OB: I got your flowers. I didn't know that fact about sending fifteen roses. Did Google tell you that, Detective? Fin is probably out there smirking, and the rest of the squad probably has no idea why. Can I ask you a question, El?
Elliot had been sitting at his desk trying to listen to whatever Ayanna was talking about, but he was also staring at his phone, waiting to see if Olivia got his flowers. When his phone beeped, Ayanna looked over at him and he looked away from her. Whelan made some joke about how he seemed afraid that, "Mommy was going to take his phone away," causing both Ayanna and Elliot to feel slightly uncomfortable. Elliot excused himself, walking out into the hall, reading Olivia's text. A question? She wanted to ask him a question? Why did that scare him so much?
ES: Google is a reliable source, Captain! You can ask me anything, Liv.
Elliot was surprised at how fast Olivia responded to his text.
OB: The ten roses you don't take credit for, that decade — did you think about me at all?
Olivia was kicking herself for asking him that question. Things were going fine the way they were; did she just mess everything up now? Elliot probably was never going to respond to that question. Hell, he was probably going to pack up his apartment and move back to Rome with Eli without saying goodbye. Oh fuck, her paranoia was running strong here.
Elliot read her question, feeling like the worst partner and even worse best friend in the world. Olivia actually had to ask him if he had thought about her at all since 2011. That made him want to cry, but he didn't. Instead, he dialed her number. Olivia answered on the third ring. Once Elliot heard her voice, he answered her question immediately.
"Yes, Olivia. I thought about you all the time. The entire Atlantic Ocean wasn't enough for me to stop thinking about you. I said prayers for you all the time. Olivia, you have nothing but my word here — but I never forgot about you."
Olivia didn't know what to say to Elliot's words right now. She appreciated them, but she just wasn't ready to analyze what they meant. So she said the only thing that she could in the actual moment.
"I'll be over tonight. Same time as last night."
With that, she hung up before Elliot could respond. He wasn't sure how healthy for their long-term relationship nightly sex without actually dealing with their underlying issues was, but it wasn't like he was going to say no. Olivia was letting him spend time with her — and letting her son be around him. It was more than he initially ever believed would've been possible when he first saw her again after a decade. Who was he to judge how Olivia chose to do so?
~oOo~
DAY TWO || FEBRUARY 4, 2023
Elliot's plan for the second day had actually begun months before Elliot and Olivia had even kissed. Not long after his own birthday, he had called both Amanda and Fin, telling them he wanted to plan a birthday party for Olivia's 55th birthday. The guest list was simple until he tried to figure out anyone from the last decade. He shouldn't have had to call anyone to get help with the guest list — he was supposed to know her better than anyone. He told them to not tell Olivia that the party was his idea.
The party was set for the Saturday before her actual birthday, which happened to now be day two of Elliot's Twelve Days Of Valentine's. Elliot already had her birthday gift, but he decided he was going to make it even more special. He hoped that it wasn't too soon for this particular gesture though. Gifting a custom-designed compass to Olivia was one thing. Doing it in front of everyone at a birthday party which he had planned in secret? Well, that was another thing.
Olivia was impressed at how many people showed up at her birthday party this year. It was absolutely nice to see everyone again. The guests surprised her because Amanda had planned the party as far as she knew. Amanda had invited Alex, Casey, and even Monique? It took Olivia five minutes to realize that Amanda hadn't actually planned her party, the second she saw who had just arrived. She would know those eyes anywhere. As far as Olivia knew, Amanda didn't know too much about Calvin — this party was planned by Elliot. Olivia walked over to where Elliot was standing chatting with Munch.
"Munch, would you mind if I borrowed my partner for a second?"
Munch walked off, not before rubbing Olivia's shoulder and looking back at the two of them with a soft smile on his face. Elliot looked at Olivia.
"What's up, partner?"
Olivia pointed towards Calvin, who she would go to talk to in a minute.
"Is that Calvin Arliss? Elliot, you planned this party, didn't you? Amanda didn't know about Calvin, not enough to invite him to my birthday party. Are you going to stand there and deny that you at the very least invited Calvin? Which means, you chose to invite Rafael? Even after him representing Wheatley? Why, Elliot? Why did you plan this party, and then let Amanda take the credit?"
Elliot looked at Olivia, getting choked up. He didn't like that he was losing his emotions right now.
"Because I was a fucking idiot, Olivia. I missed all your birthdays after leaving in 2011. I didn't even know who to invite; I shouldn't have had to ask Amanda or Fin for help on knowing who mattered to you in over a decade. I'm supposed to know you better than anyone. After my birthday last year, I started planning this party. Only Amanda and Fin knew that it was my idea. I didn't want you to know, because I didn't want to hurt you by admitting that I didn't know things about you — things a partner and best friend should know. Granted, I'm probably not even who you consider your best friend anymore, which I absolutely wouldn't blame you for. But, I had to fix what I fucked up. I know this doesn't even begin to make up for everything I put you through after I left, but I really hope that I can start making amends. As for inviting Rafael, he's your friend, Liv. I can't very well ask for you to give me another chance and then in the same breath, expect you to completely cut off any connection to Rafael Barba right?"
Olivia shook her head at Elliot. She wasn't sure what to say here, but she reached for his hand, pulling him slightly closer to her.
"Elliot, stop hating yourself. Yeah, it sucks that we don't know things about each other for a decade. But, we can share those things with each other now. Oh, shove that crap, El. You're not my best friend anymore? You don't get to decide that, I decide who I do or don't consider my best friend! I'm not entertaining this pity party of yours. I'm going to talk to Calvin, which truly thank you for inviting him, El. I hope you're still here when I'm done. But, if you're not, I'll see you later, I guess. Just don't disappear on me, okay?"
As Olivia turned away, she heard Elliot whispering, possibly to her, but maybe more to himself.
"I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere, not this time."
Olivia's lips pursed into a small smile. She truly believed him, but hearing him say it out loud made her feel better. After spending time with Calvin and other guests, Olivia made her way back over to where Elliot was sitting.
"Glad you're still here, partner. Calvin is remarkable. I didn't know how much I needed to see him again. The last time I saw him was trick-or-treating with Amaro and his daughter. Speaking of Amaro, how did you get him to fly in from California for this tiny celebration?"
Elliot looked at Olivia.
"Your birthday is not a tiny celebration, Olivia. It didn't take much convincing — Amaro really wanted to meet me. He asked me how you were doing after Burton Lowe. Didn't know who that was. Still don't. He seemed surprised I didn't know. People that don't even know me just assume I know everything about things to do with you. I should know who he is, shouldn't I, Liv? Will you tell me who he is later? Not now, I don't want to ruin your party, especially before it's time for you to get your presents. You need to open mine first! Please?"
Olivia glared over at where Nick was talking to Fin and Rollins. He shouldn't have mentioned Burton Lowe to Elliot. When Elliot asked if she'd tell him who he was later, Olivia nodded.
"I'll tell you everything about Burton Lowe soon, I promise. Presents, El? I'm almost 55, not 15. Elliot, you threw this party, and bought me fifteen roses yesterday. There's more? I know, I know, there's ten more days of this Twelve Days Of Valentine's. I'll open yours first; I'll just say it's in the order of who I've known the longest, which makes you number one."
Elliot grinned at her, in a way he probably had only ever used on her. He couldn't wait to give her the compass. Would she wear it? Would she like it? Was it too much? Would it scare her away? Did he want to risk it? Looking at Olivia right now, sitting so close to him, that he could reach out and touch her. He wanted to do just that right now, but he also knew that pretty much none of the people in this room knew that he and Olivia were sleeping together, let alone that he was trying to turn that into more than just sleeping together. He wanted to kiss her right now, but he knew if he did that, he'd probably chase her away. He stood up walking up to the front of the party, with his eyes never leaving Olivia's. He turned off the music and started speaking.
"Okay, who has a present for Captain Benson here? I do, does anyone else? Wait, don't answer that. Because no matter what any of you give her, it won't top my present for her. Olivia, come up here and open your present from me."
Olivia laughed, walking up to where Elliot was. She took the present from him, squeezing his hand as he handed her the box. She ripped open the paper and saw that it was a jewelry box. Her eyes were still on Elliot's, and she could swear he was crying watching her open the box. When she opened it fully, she looked inside, seeing a compass necklace, which was clearly not cheap. It was at least 10K gold with eight diamonds encased inside. She turned it over and stopped dead in her tracks seeing the engraving. Semper Fi, with an infinity symbol underneath the engraving. She felt her eyes watering, as she was still looking at Elliot. Elliot was right; there was no other present that she could receive tonight that would top this. She held up the compass for everyone to see, but her eyes never left Elliot's. Everyone seemed to like it, but not as much as she did. She was overcome with emotion that Elliot had given her a necklace with the words Semper Fi, on them. She couldn't help but remember the last time she wore his Semper Fi medallion. Did he even know she wore it? Well no, of course not Olivia; he didn't have people who were reporting back to him about you.
As the party was winding down, Olivia walked over to Elliot. She held the compass out towards him, gesturing that she wanted him to put it on her. Elliot looked at her, almost asking her if she was sure, and she nodded her head. Elliot reached for the clasp and unclasped it, placing the compass necklace around Olivia's neck. Olivia and Elliot were once again in their own world, where they were the only two people in the room. Elliot looked at Olivia wearing the compass; it looked amazing on her. Olivia leaned in, whispering in his ear.
"I think when I come over tonight, I'll be wearing only a trench coat and this compass. I assume that's okay, Detective?"
Elliot groaned. She was trying to kill him; now he wasn't going to get that image out of his head. Good thing, tonight was only a few hours away. He smirked at her.
"Is that so, Captain? That's more than okay; you're not going to get a single complaint from me about that."
Olivia winked at him, before turning away to chat with guests, which were now few and far between. Elliot couldn't help the smile that spread across his face as he watched her. She had just winked at him, and that meant something right? He was glad she liked the compass, but now he wondered if giving it to her at the party, in front of everyone, was a bad idea. What if it had sent her running? What if she decided that being with him, or being seen with him in public, wasn't something she was interested in doing? Elliot hoped that wasn't the case, because he was enjoying spending time with her, and he knew she was enjoying his Twelve Days Of Valentine's. He had plans for the rest of the Twelve Days, and he truly hoped Olivia was along for the ride.
~oOo~
DAY THREE || FEBRUARY 5, 2023
Olivia woke up in Elliot's arms, something she was really used to doing too much lately. She remembered the compass and reached her hand up to touch it. As she turned, she saw that Elliot was literally staring at her.
"El, do you always have sex with a woman and then just stare at her as she sleeps?"
Elliot didn't like the way Olivia worded that question. Did she think there were other women he was sleeping with right now? Were there other men that she was? Okay, El. Breathe. Don't ask her that question. He smirked over at Olivia.
"Nope. Just one woman. The only woman that matters. Also maybe I was just standing guard over that expensive ass hunk of medal on your neck. You want to get some breakfast before we head into work, Liv? Let's go to Waverly. We can even take Eli and Noah, assuming they are awake."
Olivia looked away from Elliot for a second, and he could have sworn she looked like she was about to cry. He grabbed her by the arm gently, pulling her back onto the bed next to him.
"Liv, what's wrong? You love breakfast at Waverly. You used to order their orange juice by the gallon. And don't get me started on your love of their omelets. I swear anytime we had time to eat at Waverly, we did. So, tell me right now, why you look like you are about to cry."
She knew that her response, if she was honest, would probably break his heart in two. But, there was no reason for her to lie, right? Olivia sighed, looking over at Elliot.
"I haven't been to Waverly since 2011. I just couldn't go after you left. Waverly was ours. It felt like you had died when you left. It hurt to go there. I would just sit in our booth, staring into space, expecting you to walk into the diner at some point. The last time I went was your birthday in 2011. You didn't walk in, and I knew – if you missed a birthday breakfast at Waverly with me, you were really gone. I didn't have the heart to go back after that."
Elliot wasn't expecting her to say that. He really hurt her, hadn't he? He wanted to fix everything in one instance, and he was beginning to realize that he couldn't. Fixing things temporarily wasn't enough. He needed to get her to come to Waverly with him today, no matter how hard he had to try.
"Olivia, I'm so fucking sorry. I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, and I know we both said living in the past, regrets and all, wouldn't help anything. But, seriously, if you want to punch me ever? Go for it. Listen, I'm asking you to make a new tradition with me, from an old one. At least once a week, I want you and I to have breakfast together, at Waverly. It has to be Waverly; it has to be where we were so content and our partnership was so strong. Please, Olivia. Let me make it up to you; let me prove that I'm not going to vanish this time. Will you have breakfast with me and the boys at Waverly this morning?"
Olivia didn't know what to say to Elliot right now. Waverly had always been their place; it was where she once felt so damn safe. And then it was where she was waiting for him to come back to her, for months after he retired still. Sometimes, even years later, she drove by Waverly, looking for Elliot's car. Make it up to her? How the fuck did Elliot think he had a right to say that a simple breakfast would make anything up to her? And why did he have to look at her with those piercing blue eyes, that could make her say yes to everything?
"Yes, we can go to Waverly for breakfast this morning. As far as starting the new tradition of going once a week, don't make me promises you can't keep, Elliot. You'll go undercover again, and then there will be weeks or months at a time where I don't even know where you are. Though, I guess it tops a decade of wondering where you were, right? I'm not saying this to hurt you, El. I am just trying to prepare myself for the inevitable. It will be easier and it will hurt less when it happens."
Elliot felt like Olivia had just said more to him about her fears in that short statement, than in any conversation the two had shared since he returned to New York. She genuinely was just waiting for him to disappear again, and it wasn't a fear that he could erase immediately. He thought about trying to convince her that she was wrong, but realized he couldn't do it in one day. So, he just pulled Olivia into his arms holding her tightly.
"Olivia, if I ever go undercover again, I'll tell you. Always. Maybe you can't believe that right now, and that's okay – trusting me can't be easy when I've hurt you so much in the past. But, I'm just asking for you to be open to the idea of trusting me, in the future. That's all I'm asking. That's all I can ask; I don't want to pressure you into just assuming because I make a promise, it's true. I want your trust in me to be real; not something that I force. So, if you need to keep having the fear until I legitimately prove you wrong, that's fine. I am not going anywhere, Olivia. Not today, not tomorrow, and not six months from now. Even if work requires it, you will always be the first person I tell before I take any assignments."
Olivia wanted to believe him; more than anything, she wanted to. She never once had a reason to doubt Elliot was telling her the truth. And then, he left her for a decade, without so much as a word. He'd been her one constant for nearly thirteen years, and all of a sudden, he was just gone. It was like a death – sometimes, it was easier believing Elliot had died – letting herself rewrite that precinct shooting. That Elliot had been shot there; that Jenna had killed him. It was easier, because at least if he had died, even in her arms? There might have been an actual goodbye. She would probably never say these words to Elliot though, because she really didn't want to be the person who held him leaving against him. He made a choice, for himself and his family – she wasn't his family, no matter what he had always said to her in the past. She really wasn't. He was never really hers. She just nodded her head at his words, not really knowing how to address them.
Day three was a bust, Elliot realized. He felt like if he had just made her breakfast in bed, instead of reminding her of Waverly, it might have gone better. It was ironic that the day where his surprise seemed to hurt Olivia, happened to be the one where she expected him to give up.
~oOo~
DAY FOUR || FEBRUARY 6, 2023
Olivia had just had one of the worst days at work in a long time. She couldn't figure out what was going on in this one case, and it was frustrating her. McGrath had spent most of the day yelling at her about god knows what – because she stopped listening halfway into their conversation. While on lunch, she sent Elliot a text bitching about McGrath.
OB: I swear, sometimes I hate being Captain. McGrath blames me for everything.
ES: Want me to punch him?
OB: If I said yes, would you?
ES: Probably. I'm supposed to prove my loyalty to you, right?
OB: By punching my boss?
ES: By defending my partner.
OB: El, please don't actually punch McGrath.
ES You're always ruining my fun, Benson. It's a good thing you're gorgeous and really great in bed.
OB: -types and deletes-
ES: Too much?
OB: No… I just wasn't prepared for that. That's all.
ES: Want to do something tonight?
OB: Something like what?
ES: I don't know. Maybe…a movie night, at my place. And then…you can stay over again, if you wanted.
OB: What are we supposed to do with our sons and your mother?
ES: Eli can take Noah to the Nickel Mania; he's obsessed with that place. He honestly could spend hours there playing arcade games. It's cute!
OB: That actually does sound cute. I think Noah would like that. He calls Eli his best friend. So, the boys and Bernie would know this is a date?
ES: I didn't say this was a date, Olivia. You did. Besides, Liv, you and your son have slept at my apartment nearly every night for a month. I'm pretty sure that Eli and my mother think you have moved in by now.
OB: -types and deletes-
OB: -types and deletes-
ES: Liv, are you still with me? Was that too much?
OB: I'm here. What movie?
ES: Obviously, Gone With The Wind. We are not doing a Benson/Stabler movie night for the first time since 2011, and not watching your favorite movie, Benson.
OB: You're spoiling me, El...
ES: That's the point of these twelve days, Liv...
OB: -types and deletes-
ES: You gonna tell me what those deleted messages are at some point?
OB: Probably not.
ES: Didn't think so. See you later, Liv. Gotta go organize crime now!
OB: "Organize crime" is not a verb, Detective.
ES: It is now, Captain. Have a good day, and ignore McGrath!
Olivia's day had gotten a thousand times better, simply once she talked to Elliot even over just text messages. She hadn't realized just how much she had missed talking to him in the decade he was gone until they had begun talking daily once more. He calmed her down in the way that nobody else had ever been able to. He also infuriated her in a way that nobody else could, but that was a completely different story altogether. When they arrived at Elliot's, Noah immediately went into Eli's room, excited to spend time with his 'best friend.' Olivia loved how much her son loved Elliot's son. She couldn't gauge much of a reaction on how Noah felt about Elliot though. She had been trying to figure that out for weeks now, but Eli was the only one Noah ever really wanted to talk about. Eli and Noah walked out of his room, and Olivia was impressed that Eli had buttoned up Noah's coat and made sure he had his gloves on.
"Enjoy the movie guys, or ya know, enjoy whatever else happens instead of the movie. Just know, Noah and I will be back no later than 9 PM. So, if you guys are busy… try and finish by then, or at least be in the bedroom."
Eli smirked at the two of them as he and Noah left. Olivia was mortified and blushing, while Elliot was laughing hysterically. He had actually been worried about how Eli was going to react to finding out about him and Olivia being together. It seemed he had nothing to worry about; his son was just going to tease them for it.
Contrary to what Eli thought was going to happen, Olivia and Elliot actually did watch the entire movie. Olivia had always been a sucker for Rhett and Scarlett. Her love for Gone With The Wind knew no limits. After the boys came back from Nickel Mania, the four of them sat down and ate dessert together. Olivia felt like they were a real family, and it was honestly the best feeling in the world. Elliot could tell she was happy; and considering when they talked earlier in the day, she was miserable, he'd call this day a win.
Once both Eli and Noah were asleep, Elliot led Olivia to his bedroom, and they immediately fell into each other's arms, where they both felt they had always belonged. Olivia wouldn't admit this out loud, but she had never felt this with anyone – not Cassidy, not Tucker, nobody. Elliot had a hold on her heart that made no sense, considering they hadn't even kissed until this year, in twenty-five years of knowing each other.
~oOo~
DAY FIVE || FEBRUARY 7, 2023
Olivia and the squad were in the middle of discussing a case when Elliot walked in carrying a box. Fin, being the smartass he is, cracked a joke immediately.
"Stabler, if there is a bomb in that box, please take it to your precinct."
Elliot visibly tensed, and Fin realized how incredibly stupid it was for him to make a joke about a bomb with a man whose wife had died from injuries sustained in a car bombing. Fin could absolutely feel Olivia glaring at him. Instinctively, Olivia reached for Elliot's hand, pulling him closer to her. The tension he had felt earlier dissipated almost as soon as he felt that Olivia was holding his hand. Bruno, noticing all the tension in the room, broke the silence.
"It might not be a bomb, but whatever is in that box, is dripping all over the floor right now."
Dropping his hand once she was sure he was okay, Olivia took the box from Elliot, placing it on an empty desk. Opening the box in front of her squad, she was hoping that Elliot wasn't about to be having her open something completely embarrassing. Looking down, she saw it was a cake. It wasn't just any cake. It was the same ice cream cake Elliot had gotten for her birthday every year since February 2001, her first birthday since Serena died. Her eyes met Elliot's. In a soft whisper, Olivia spoke first.
"You remembered?"
Elliot spoke in a tone, which came out very seductively, keeping his eyes on Olivia.
"There's not much I don't remember when it comes to you, Benson."
Olivia blushed, not even realizing that it was not just her and Elliot in the squad room. Her entire squad was just staring at the two of them, feeling as if they were intruding on a private couple's moment. Amanda was just staring at them like this was some episode of a soap opera. Elliot, realizing everyone was watching them, looked at the squad
"The bottom corner pieces are Olivia's — nobody touches them. I'm going to borrow your Captain now. Enjoy the cake."
He pulled Olivia into her office, shutting and locking the door behind them. As he began closing the blinds, she raised an eyebrow at Elliot.
"Why'd you lock the door, Detective? And why are you closing the blinds?"
Elliot, without saying a word, walked towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist, his hands sliding up her back. He leaned his head down, pressing his lips to hers, kissing her softly.
"Happy Birthday, Liv."
Elliot whispered, smiling. Olivia kissed him again, smiling as well.
"Thank you, El."
~oOo~
DAY SIX || FEBRUARY 8, 2023
Not long after he had left the precinct after their kiss and giving her the ice cream cake, Elliot and the OCCB had begun working on a case that lasted all night on Olivia's birthday and most of the next day. He wasn't going to get to see Olivia on day six at all. So, he needed help with his plan for the day. He called Kathleen, because of all of his children minus Eli, Kathleen was probably the one who wouldn't have a visceral reaction to finding out that Elliot was doing Valentine's surprises for Olivia. Once he got Kathleen on the phone, he told her everything he wanted her to do. She asked him if his I love you at the intervention was directed at Olivia, and he told her yes. He explained that him loving Olivia didn't mean that he didn't love Kathy. Kathleen didn't seem to take it too badly. After all, she agreed to help with his surprise for Olivia.
Olivia hadn't talked to Elliot at all that day, and it was bothering her. The last time they talked, he was kissing her – and now it was radio silence. There was a knock at her office door, and Olivia was surprised to see Kathleen Stabler standing in front of her. Her surprise immediately turned to fear and it was written all over her face, when she asked Kathleen her next question.
"Is he alive? What happened? Lee, where is he? I need to see him! Take me to him!"
Kathleen stood there in silence, listening to Olivia freaking out, realizing that she had assumed that she was there because something had happened to Elliot. Kathleen was glad Olivia's entire squad seemed to be somewhere else and hadn't witnessed her meltdown. Kathleen grabbed Olivia by the arm and walked her into her office. She sat Olivia into her chair, spotting two different pictures of Olivia and her father on Olivia's desk. She wondered if they were always there, or if Olivia had put them up recently. Kathleen looked at Olivia.
"He's not hurt. He's fine. He's been working a big case all night and all day. He called me and said he needed help with a surprise for you. Something about not missing a day of the twelve days or something. So, I'm supposed to take you to your surprise. Your surprise from my dad, because friends surprise each other all the time, I guess. Olivia, can I ask you a question first?"
Olivia felt like she was going crazy; why was Kathleen not telling her where Elliot was? Once Kathleen spoke, Olivia felt like an idiot. Also, she was going to kill Elliot Stabler. He told his daughter about his surprises for her? Eli didn't even know; well okay, Eli knew more than Kathleen did. At least she hoped Elliot hadn't told Kathleen about them having sex or about Olivia basically living with him pretty much for a month. The way Kathleen was trying not to sound judgmental and was keeping her voice soft was nice. Oh god, what question was she going to ask? The last kid of Elliot's that had asked her a question at the precinct was Dickie asking her how many times she had ever slept with her partner. Olivia couldn't handle another question like that, from one of Elliot's children, especially the one who she had always been the closest to.
"You can ask me anything, Lee. I will be completely honest with you, I promise."
Kathleen didn't doubt Olivia; she had no reason to. Olivia had always been wonderful with her. It was partly thanks to Olivia that Kathleen hadn't gone down the wrong path after her bipolar diagnosis. Unlike her brother, Kathleen never believed that anything physical had ever happened between her father and Olivia. Emotional? Oh absolutely. But, she wasn't going to ask Olivia about that; honestly, it wasn't her business. Sure it involved her parents' marriage, but Kathleen didn't believe Olivia had ever done anything to hurt their marriage.
"Are you living with my dad? Eli says you and your son practically have spent most nights in the last month there. It's okay if you are, Liv. You don't have to hide it from me. She's been gone for almost two years. And he was different without you; not different bad. But, not different good either. There was like a part of him…that stayed in New York, even when they moved to Italy. I think that's why he rarely visited. Mom visited a lot; but dad…dad never really wanted to. He'd always either convince us to come to Italy for holidays, or we'd just not see him. If you make my dad happy, Liv; that's all that matters to me."
She looked away from Kathleen for a second, intent on saying that she wasn't living with Elliot. Because, that wasn't a lie – she didn't live there really. She just slept there, woke up there, and sometimes hung out there. Which sounded a lot like – she was living there. Oh god, was she living with Elliot? Why did that make her want to smile? She couldn't live with Elliot. Things weren't going to last; they never lasted for her. He was a married man that she had fallen in love with over two decades ago; a man she never really could have. A man she had no real claim to.
"We're not exactly living together. I was attacked outside my apartment building a month ago. Your dad let me stay and I guess, I got comfortable. Noah and Eli adore each other, and I like spending time with your dad. I guess, I just missed him, ya know? Lee, nothing ever happened between us when he was with your mother. No matter what I felt for him at that time, I never would have done that to her or you kids. I never would have let him do it, not that I'm saying he would have if I had let him. I am going to stop talking now."
Kathleen was glad Olivia didn't lie to her. She would have questioned so many more things about Olivia and her father if Olivia had flat-out denied staying with Elliot for the last month.
"Thanks for telling me the truth, Olivia. It means more to me than you could ever understand. Okay, so your surprise from my dad – are you ready to go or do you need a minute?"
Olivia said that she was ready and headed out with Kathleen. She was hoping that Kathleen was taking her TO Elliot, because right now, Elliot was who Olivia needed to see. She had scared herself too much assuming Kathleen being there meant that something had happened to Elliot. When Kathleen stopped the car, she opened the door and Olivia realized that they were at the subway. When she looked up, she saw Elliot standing in front of her. She turned to look at Kathleen, who was about to drive away, leaving the two of them alone.
"Thank you, Lee."
Elliot looked at Olivia with a smile on his face.
"You have no idea how happy I am to see you right now, Olivia. I thought I wouldn't be able to see you tonight, and you'd think you were right about me giving up. I literally had to get Bell to drive me here. And Kathleen to drive you here. It's almost 8 PM, and walking the Brooklyn Bridge at night is supposed to be one of the most beautiful things ever, or so I'm told. So, what do you say, Benson, will you go on a walk with me? I only have a few hours, and then I have to get back to the precinct, sadly. But, I just want to spend time with you, no matter how short that time is."
Olivia walked over towards Elliot, touching his face, and nodded at him. She wanted nothing more than to spend time with him.
"El, when I said you'd give up, I was just projecting fears onto things. You have absolutely proven that you aren't giving up. Of course, I'll walk the Brooklyn Bridge with you. This is honestly one of the sweetest things ever, Stabler. Thank you for today. For making me feel loved."
They held hands and walked the bridge, not worrying about work, or the rest of the world. They were both so wrapped up in each other and the moment. Elliot told Olivia about the case he was working on, and she told him about a case she was working on. Neither of them had ever felt happier. When they got back to the other side of the bridge, Olivia leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. Elliot was so in love with her. He had no idea how he was going to go back to work without her.
"I have to go. It sucks, but I have to."
Olivia looked at him.
"I know. Go solve your case, Stabler. Let me know when you can come home."
Olivia had no idea why she had just said home. She meant his place. That wasn't her home, and she shouldn't be making assumptions like that. She couldn't take the words back and didn't want to. It was a word she liked, a word that made her feel safe. Home. It was a word she hadn't ever thought of in regards to her, until she met Elliot Stabler. Home wasn't an apartment; home was Elliot Stabler. Elliot had noticed her use of the word too.
~oOo~
DAY SEVEN || FEBRUARY 9, 2023
Olivia was sitting in the middle of a meeting at 1PP with McGrath and even people above McGrath. Why were these meetings always so damn boring? She felt her phone vibrate, but couldn't check it right away. Finally, after nearly an hour more of listening to McGrath bitching about everything and also about nothing that actually mattered, Olivia was back at the 1-6 and able to check her phone. She saw that she had an email from Elliot in her personal email. Sitting at her desk, Olivia opened Elliot's message.
Liv,
I missed you last night. I guess I've gotten used to waking up to you sleeping next to me. I woke up thinking about you this morning. It dawned on me that you don't know how much I think about you or which songs make me think of you. So here's my top 25. Feel free to send me any if you have any.
A Matter Of Trust—Billy Joel
All For You—Sister Hazel
Break On Me—Keith Urban
Call You Mine—Daughtry
Crawling Back To You—Daughtry
Demons—Imagine Dragons
Far Away—Nickelback
Jealous—Labrinth
Keeping Score—Dan & Shay, Kelly Clarkson
Mirrors—Justin Timberlake
Night Changes—One Direction
Only One—Yellowcard
Open Your Eyes—Snow Patrol
Rewrite The Stars—Zac Efron, Zendaya
Shallow—Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper
Shattered (Turn The Car Around)—O.A.R
She's Every Woman—Garth Brooks
She's Got A Way—Billy Joel
Single At The Same Time—Ashley McBryde
Somebody To Die For—Hurts
Strangers—Maddie & Tae
Tangled Up In You—Staind
The Great War—Taylor Swift
The Only Exception—Paramore
You're All I Have—Snow Patrol
Olivia was in the process of listening to Elliot's list when her phone rang. She smiled when she saw Elliot's name on the caller ID. She answered with The Great War still playing in the background. Elliot grinned the second he heard one of his songs from his email playing.
"Well, judging from the background music, I'm guessing you got my email?"
Olivia laughed and didn't even care if anyone had heard her laughing on the phone with Elliot Stabler.
"That I did, that I did. You want to explain Zac Efron and Zendaya, Detective? Also, are you a Swiftie, El?"
Elliot laughed at her question, though that's not the one he expected her to tease him about. Nah, that one would be the one still playing in the background.
"Eli had an obsession with The Greatest Showman. The song was always playing, and from the moment I heard it, all I pictured was all those parallel universes we could have lived in. See, Liv, I never stopped thinking about you. I just need to make sure that you know that. As far as if I'm a Swiftie or not, I'll neither confirm nor deny, at this time."
Olivia leaned her head back in her desk chair, listening to both Elliot and the current song playing in the background. She believed everything that he was saying to her right now.
"I believe you. One day, maybe you can tell me about those parallel universes. By the way, listen to Turbulence by P!nk when you get a chance. It was literally released last month. Sadly, I gotta go—we will talk later though. Semper Fi, El."
Fin had quietly walked into Olivia's office, noticing her on the phone with Elliot. When he heard her ending the call with Semper Fi. El, he figured he'd tease his friend, but he waited for her to hang up. He looked at Olivia with a smirk on his face.
"So, when is the wedding? Will you be wearing a dress with that giant necklace?"
Olivia rolled her eyes, muting the music coming from her laptop. She walked out of her office with Fin, looking over at him.
"Don't start with me, Sarge, unless you want to work weekends for the next three weeks."
~oOo~
DAY EIGHT || FEBRUARY 10, 2023
Elliot had invited Olivia to Ayanna's birthday party at a Karaoke Bar. He honestly didn't expect that people from both of their squads would be there. He was sure Olivia was going to find some excuse to leave not long after getting there. To her credit, she didn't and the two squads seemed to get along well. After she had a few drinks, Fin dared Olivia to sing. Elliot didn't expect her to agree, and he definitely didn't expect her to pull him on stage with her. She pointed to the song she wanted for them to sing — and definitely shook his head at her. They couldn't sing Shallow in front of nearly everyone that they worked with on a daily basis. These people didn't even know that they were doing anything; okay, well maybe Fin and Ayanna knew. Once Olivia pouted, Elliot knew he'd sing the song with her.
"Fine, but if you regret this in the morning, don't say I didn't warn you, Olivia."
When the music started, pretty much everyone from each of their squads had begun recording it on their phones. Neither Elliot nor Olivia noticed this. Ayanna and Fin both even moved closer to the stage to get a better view. Elliot started singing, keeping his eyes on Olivia.
Tell me somethin', girl
Are you happy in this modern world?
Or do you need more?
Is there somethin' else you're searchin' for?
Olivia smiled when Elliot began singing, and she moved closer to him.
I'm falling
In all the good times I find myself longing
For change
And in the bad times I fear myself
The two sang the chorus together, their eyes never leaving the other.
Tell me something, boy
Aren't you tired tryin' to fill that void?
Or do you need more?
Ain't it hard keepin' it so hardcore?
Olivia's hands rested on Elliot's chest and she could feel his heart beating quickly. She could tell he was nervous and she could also tell that he was feeling the same feelings she was.
I'm falling
In all the good times, I find myself longing
For change
And in the bad times, I fear myself
They sang the second verse together, Elliot's hands holding Olivia's face.
I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in
I'll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface, where they can't hurt us
We're far from the shallow now
As the chorus started again, Elliot and Olivia began getting lost in each other.
In the sha-ha-llow
In the sha-la-sha-ha-llow
Ohh
In the sha-ha-low
Ohh
Ayanna and Fin were grinning, while the rest of the group looked shocked. Fin knew that there was something going on between them. Ayanna didn't know what exactly was happening, but she knew they were more than partners.
In the sha-ha-llohhh
Shallow, shallow
Ohh
Shallow, shallow,
Ahh
When the music stopped, everyone cheered for the duo, but they were oblivious. Elliot had his arms wrapped around Olivia's waist, pulling her close to him. Olivia had her arms around his neck. They leaned forward and kissed.
The first reaction came from Amanda, who looked at Carisi and Fin.
"Oh. My. God!"
Fin spoke first.
"Told you. Those two have always been in love. It was only a matter of time before they finally gave in."
Ayanna was the next to speak.
"You have no idea how long we've waited for this. We all saw how these two looked at each other. It's like a damn romance novel or movie."
Jet was the last one to react.
"This was bound to happen. The way they've always looked at each other, the way they've always acted around each other, it was just a matter of time before they gave in."
Elliot and Olivia, on the other hand, were oblivious to what was being said by everyone else. All they were focused on was each other.
~oOo~
DAY NINE || FEBRUARY 11, 2023
Olivia couldn't believe that she and Elliot had not only sung a love ballad together but also kissed on stage in front of people from both of their squads. The kiss in her office on her birthday was one thing, but after last night's very public kiss, she knew that they were reaching uncharted territory here. The truth was as much as this definitely scared her, it also excited her immensely. Most of her relationships started out shrouded in secret in the beginning, starting with Burton and now, with Elliot. She wondered if maybe there was some psychological reason for why she always seemed to be afraid to share her relationships, for fear of losing them once she did. She just always seemed to think any intimate relationship she was in would only ever be temporary.
Olivia and Elliot had decided to go back to her place since it was closer to the Karaoke Bar. Luckily, Kathleen had taken both Eli and Noah the night before so they didn't have to worry about picking up the boys after a long night out. Olivia woke up first and smiled down at a sleeping Elliot. She felt so damn safe with him, even if he was fast asleep. It wasn't that she needed him, in order to feel safe — she was Olivia Benson. She could make herself feel safe with or without a man. It was more that she wanted him, she wanted to build a life with Elliot. Truth was, she had always wanted to build a life with him, but he was already building one with Kathy. And, contrary to every rumor in the NYPD rumor mill, Olivia wasn't a homewrecker, nor would she have ever let Elliot make that decision to be one with her. She walked into the kitchen and froze when she saw an envelope addressed to her on the island. A letter? Another letter, after how disastrous the first one was? Bracing herself for the goodbye that was inevitable, Olivia's eyes began to water and she felt the tears falling. Dammit it, Elliot!
Liv,
I know we don't have the greatest track record when it comes to letters, but I wanted a chance to remedy that stupid decision on my part. I never should have given you that letter. But more importantly, I never should have let Kathy write that letter.
As I sit down to write this letter, my heart is overflowing with love and adoration for you. With each passing day, my infatuation for you only grows stronger. I am enamored by your beauty, both inside and out, and every moment spent with you feels like a fairytale romance.
From the moment I met you, I have been enchanted by your presence. Your smile, your laughter, and your touch have the power to light up my world and make everything else fade away. I am in awe of the way you make me feel, and I am grateful for every moment we share together.
I cherish every memory we have created together, and I cannot wait to make many more in the future. You have become my everything, and I will always be your partner, through the good times and the bad. I promise to stand by your side for better or worse, and I will never abandon you again.
I know that I have made mistakes in the past, but I am determined to make it up to you. I will stop at nothing to make up for the last decade and to show you just how much you mean to me. You are the light that guides me, the love that fills my heart, and the person I will always treasure the most.
I guess you could say that you, Olivia, are my very own compass.
Semper Fi,
El.
Olivia was still crying, but for a very different reason. She hugged the letter to her chest. When she turned around, she saw Elliot standing there in front of her. She looked at him with tears in her eyes.
"I was scared when I saw that letter. I thought it was a goodbye, and I didn't want it to be. Logically, it wouldn't make sense for you to write me a goodbye letter and still be asleep in my bed. But, I wasn't thinking logically. I just saw a letter, and I panicked. And in that moment of panic, I realized that I do not want this to end. I don't even know what this is, but I know what it feels like to me. It feels real. We feel real. And then, you say things like this in this letter. You make it seem more real.
"And, last night—last night we kissed in front of both of our squads. Is this real? Or is it just because of the closeness to Valentine's Day? I guess what I'm really asking is what happens on February 15th?"
Elliot walked over to where Olivia was standing and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her tightly into his arms. He looked into her eyes.
"My feelings for you aren't based on the fact that it's close to Valentine's Day. Olivia, I've loved you for years — more than I probably can bring myself to openly admit. My love for you doesn't have an expiration date, Olivia Margaret Benson. We are real, Olivia. What we have is real. I'm really fucking sorry I let her write that letter. I'm more sorry that I gave it to you even after she died. I was trying to push you away, to protect you, but that letter — just ended up hurting you. There's a reason you're using the word 'real' right now, Olivia. It's because of what Kathy wrote in that letter."
Nodding her head, Olivia interrupted him, reciting the worst part of Kathy's letter from memory, with tears in her eyes.
What we were to each other was never real and that we got in the way of each other being who and where we needed to be.
Elliot hated her thinking he could ever say that to her or that he could ever believe that.
"Liv, that's not true. It was never true. I cannot undo giving you that letter, no matter how much I want to. But what I can do is keep proving that every damn word that Kathy wrote was bullshit. We've always been real, Benson. And we will be real until the end of time, if I have anything to say about it."
He pulled her in for a deep and passionate kiss, and whispered in her ear.
"This is real, Olivia. This has always been real."
~oOo~
DAY TEN || FEBRUARY 12, 2023
Olivia hadn't gotten much of a chance to talk to Elliot that day, despite him leaving her cute text messages throughout the day. The case the squad had been working on had really gotten to her. She had just left the hospital after visiting Pence Humphrey. His entire story had made her really want to see Elliot. She had made sure Noah was with Lucy, and headed to Elliot's apartment. As she pulled up to Elliot's place, she realized that she was crying hysterically. The tears were streaming down her face as she knocked on his door.
Elliot immediately opened the door, and when he saw Olivia standing there crying, he pulled her inside his apartment. He looked at her, to make sure that she was physically okay. When he didn't see any sign of bruises or anything like that, he waited for Olivia to say something. Instead of saying anything, Olivia touched his face and stared at him for five minutes in silence, like she was trying to silently remember his face.
"Liv, what's wrong? Are you okay? Did something happen? Oh God, Noah isn't with you. Is Noah okay?"
Olivia immediately responded to Elliot's concern for her son, which absolutely touched her.
"Noah's fine. Lucy is staying with him tonight. This Pence Humphrey case I've been working on just really got to me. It made me think of you, and how if Bernie has dementia like Pence did, there's a chance that one day, you could eventually also have it. I just needed to see you after this case. I guess I just want you to tell me I'm crazy and there's no way you'd ever just forget me. Sure, Pence and Winnie had a forty-year marriage, and that's more you and Kathy than me, but we have twenty-five years of something. I don't know what to call it, but Pence and Winnie were extensions of one another — until they weren't. They even had their desks pushed together like we used to when we worked together. His dementia — he's going to forget her, forget all that love. All their memories together will be gone once he truly succumbs to his dementia. What if you forget me one day? You lived without me for a decade already, but if you forgot me entirely? I don't know what that would truly do to me. I think it would destroy me."
Elliot stared at Olivia as she talked, and the moment she stopped, he pulled her in and kissed her. When he finally released her lips from his, he told her:
"Liv, listen to me. That's not gonna happen. Not now, not ever. We've already spent a decade apart. You are not going to lose me again. I can promise you that. I'll never forget you. Even if I did get dementia, there is no way that I could ever forget you. You are too much of a force, too strong of a woman. There is no way that I could ever truly forget you. And I'd fight to the death to keep it from happening."
Olivia just stared at him, and she knew that he meant every word he was saying. She smiled at him, and he pulled her back into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him, and she could feel the tears start to slowly stream down her face. Elliot kissed the top of her head and held her tight, knowing that she needed him right then.
As she held onto him, she felt all the feelings from the Pence Humphrey case disappear. She no longer felt worried about him forgetting her. She was certain that he would never forget her. She had no idea how he would fight his battle against dementia if it happened, but she knew that he wouldn't give up, no matter how bad it got. And even if he did forget her, she would spend the rest of her life doing whatever she could to help him remember her.
She felt him move, and she realized that she must have been holding onto him for quite some time. She started to pull away, and Elliot grabbed her hand, pulling her toward his bedroom. She smiled at him, realizing where his thoughts were heading. They walked into his bedroom and closed the door. Elliot just held Olivia in his arms all night, remembering every single moment, good or bad, that the two had ever shared together. No, he'd absolutely never forget her. Olivia Benson was imprinted onto his heart, like a permanent tattoo, and she would be until the day that he took his final breath.
~oOo~
DAY ELEVEN || FEBRUARY 13, 2023
When Olivia woke up that morning, Elliot had already left for work, because he had to be in much earlier than usual. Olivia walked into the kitchen and saw an envelope on the counter which had her name written in purple ink. She didn't even know that Elliot owned a purple pen. Opening the envelope, Olivia saw a note inside and two concert tickets. She glanced at the tickets, her eyes widening when she realized that they were for Taylor Swift's Era's Tour. They were pretty fucking good seats too, which meant Elliot once again, was spending way too much money on her. She picked up the note, reading it.
You once asked me if I was a Swiftie. I would absolutely not use that word, although I do listen to her music, probably more than most men my age. The woman has talent. There are so many of her songs that just make me feel things.
I must confess before I got these tickets, I asked Noah if you liked her. He said you loved her; that you had an entire Spotify playlist of just Taylor songs.
The concert is on May 13, 2023. Do you remember May 13, 1998? It's the day we met – the day my life changed for the better. Spending the 25th Anniversary of our meeting at this concert, just makes sense Olivia. Benson and Stabler deserve their own eras tour if you ask me.
Please say you'll go.
Olivia reached for her phone, dialing Elliot's number. To his credit, he answered immediately.
"Good morning, beautiful."
He knew that she was blushing, even though he couldn't see her. And that made him really want to see her right now. Her blushing was utterly sexy.
"Morning. I got your present and you're insane, Elliot. Why are you spending so much money on me?"
Elliot rolled his eyes, completely as if Olivia could see him doing so over the phone. Olivia's next sentence almost made him laugh — damn they really did know each other better than anyone huh?
"Quit rolling your eyes, Detective? Elliot, I'm serious. After this, stop spending your entire paycheck on me, especially when I make more money than you do."
Elliot gasped
"You wound me, Captain Benson! How are you planning to make that up to me?"
Olivia bit her lip, her eyes darkening as she imagined all the different ways she could make it up to him.
"Well, I suppose you'll just have to come home tonight and let me show you."
Elliot groaned, shifting in his seat. She was not going to make the rest of the day easy for him.
"I'll be home, Liv. I'll see you tonight."
He was about to end the call, but Olivia's voice stopped him.
"I love you, El."
He was in shock that she had just said that over the phone, for the first time. By the time he was able to form a sentence, Olivia had already hung up. But, those four words absolutely made his entire day so much that he honestly couldn't remember who was the one who was supposed to be doing the Twelve Days Of Valentine's – him or her. Olivia had definitely won day eleven.
~oOo~
DAY TWELVE || FEBRUARY 14, 2023
When Elliot opened his eyes, and remembered that it was actually Valentine's Day, and that he had actually proven Olivia wrong—he had not given up by day three and he was not undercover again by Valentine's Day, he grinned.
He grinned even more when he looked down and saw a sleeping Olivia next to him. God, he loved her. And he was terrified he was going to scare her away tonight. It had only been a month since they had gotten involved. At the same time, however, it had been nearly twenty-five years in the making. He gently nudged Olivia, waking her.
"Hey, I have an errand to run. Didn't want you to get worried if you woke up and found me gone. It should only be a few hours. It's only 5 AM, go back to sleep, beautiful."
Olivia had no goddamn idea what kind of errand anyone would be running at 5 AM, but she was honestly too tired to care. It was sweet as fuck that Elliot reassured her that he was not just leaving, even if was his own apartment. She kissed him softly on the lips, laying back down to sleep. Elliot looked back at her for a second and headed out. He drove to the cemetery where Kathy was buried. Holding the flowers he had gotten for her, he placed them next to the gravestone. Elliot felt the tears on his face, and he looked at his wife's gravestone.
"I suppose you want an explanation, huh? Kathy, I never cheated on you with her; you have to know that, because it's the truth. But, I was in love with her for years while married to you. And if Eli didn't exist, we wouldn't have gotten back together. I don't regret our son; I could never. The thing is, when I left New York, part of me stayed here with Olivia. A part of me that you never knew. I should have said goodbye to her; and I never should have let you write that fucking letter. But, I get it; and I suspect so does she. That letter wasn't about her. It was about you and me. You were the one who deserved the kind, faithful, devoted man; and that wasn't me. Not when I was in love with another woman for too many years to put a number on it. I wish I had let you go years ago, for all of our sakes; you'd probably still be alive. If she says yes tonight, I promise that nobody will forget you or try to take your place. I just had to come here and say I'm sorry and goodbye, Kathy. You will always mean the world to me."
When Elliot turned around, he didn't expect to see Olivia standing there with tears in her eyes. She had followed him? He walked over to where she was, reaching his hand out for her. She took a deep breath before speaking, her eyes never leaving his.
"You could have told me that you were coming here, Elliot. I wouldn't have been jealous that you wanted to give your dead wife flowers for Valentine's Day. It's okay to miss her, El. You were married for forty years; that doesn't just go away just because she died. I was worried about you; cause El, who goes on an errand in New York City, at five in the morning? Are you okay?"
Elliot didn't know what he did to deserve this woman. He was sure if things were reversed, he'd probably be insanely jealous if Olivia was putting flowers on a dead spouse's grave. She was definitely better than him. Elliot looked at her, nodding his head.
"I'm okay, Olivia. I just needed to say goodbye and try and explain in words what I'm sure she has so many questions about. The letter, I figured it out a couple days ago – she wasn't writing about you and me in the beginning line. She was the one who deserved the kind, faithful, and devoted man – Olivia, she was the woman who knew her husband was in love with a different woman for god knows how long. That he had to leave the continent to contain that love, to barely contain that love. All I did was bury it, here. Because I left it with you, when I left you. I didn't leave you, because I couldn't love you – I left you because I did. It was killing me to love you; because I'd never be able to do anything about that love. Not without breaking my vows to Kathy; and we both know I wasn't going to do that. More importantly, we both know you'd never love me anymore if I had done that."
Olivia was speechless. Elliot had just said everything that Olivia had been feeling this past month – without her even saying it to him. This 'so in sync' thing was really insane sometimes. She kept her hand in his, and couldn't believe she was going to do this at his wife's gravestone. But, maybe that just made the most sense when it came to them.
"Elliot, you're right. I never would have let you cheat on Kathy with me. I cared about Kathy. And I'm sure she died not believing that, but I think if heaven is real and there really is a place where those we lose go and watch us live our lives here on Earth, she knows I did. My opinion of both of us would have changed if anything had ever happened between us while you were a married man. I don't sleep with married men; I just fall in love with one right? I think it was easier to not have you in that way when we were partners – because I still had you in a way that even Kathy couldn't. I knew you differently than your wife knew you. I even can understand why Kathy wrote that letter. I wasn't actually ever really mad at Kathy too much for that letter. I was fucking infuriated at you for giving it to me though. My anger on the letter was definitely more directed at you than at Kathy."
Olivia pulled Elliot closer to her, whispering in his ear.
"Let's go home, Elliot."
Elliot and Olivia drove separately back to the apartment, in their respective cars. What did she mean by home? What did he mean by 'if she says yes?' They each had several questions rolling around their heads.
Once they got back, Elliot immediately pinned Olivia against the door and kissed her like she was the only air in the room. Olivia melted into him, wrapping her legs around his waist, her hands gripping his hair. He was definitely the only air in her room. Elliot pulled his lips away from hers, looking into her eyes, which were clouded over with lust. He was sure his eyes looked the same.
"Stay with me. Move in for good. You and Noah. I know that might seem fast, but Liv, I swear to you, it is not. I have wanted this for so many years, and you know that."
Olivia didn't need time to think about her answer. She was surprised at how easy of an answer it was.
"Yes, Elliot. Let's do it."
Olivia moved her head back towards his, reconnecting their lips. She had a feeling this was going to be the best Valentine's Day ever.
The author of this SVU - Love Lead You Home story will be revealed in March