Hello, friends!
I realize this chapter is a bit late, so my apologies for that. Sometimes non-climactic chapters are tougher to write than climactic ones. I had to rethink a few times how I wanted this paced.
But in the end, many of you are about to receive the gift of fluffiness:3 We stan healthy Anakin Skywalker.
I hope you all enjoy. Feedback, reviews, and constructive criticism is always welcome! (Not trolls who leave flaming reviews as guests like cowards)
"These things I have spoken unto you...in the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."- John 16:33
Chapter 52. Ye Shall Have Peace
So what's this about, Master?"
Anakin walked a slow, methodical pace to allow the old Grandmaster to keep up. Though Yoda sometimes employed the use of a hoverchair to conserve energy, today he was as spry as ever. Almost as though he was a youngling about to witness his first spar.
"A lovely day, is it not?"
So that's how it was going to be. An enigmatic avoidance of answering any direct questions bordering on the mischievous.
"Uhh, yeah. I guess."
In truth, it was gorgeous. Serene even. Though it had taken some time, life at the Temple was slowly returning to what it had been in the pre-war days as the scar of the dark side continued to fade. On days such as today, the full color of the flourishing light was plain for all to see.
Two younglings, no doubt sneaking away from the creche, giggled as they sped on by. The planet's sun burst through ornamented, multi glass windows in a dazzling array of color as the two Jedi passed through the vast, pillared hallways. Anakin recalled a reticent Obi-Wan giving him a grand tour in the aftermath of Naboo, who in hindsight was clearly struggling with the loss of his own Master.
Even in those years, a sinister unease moved about the Temple as whispers of the Sith persisted and political strife steadily increased. But this was something much different. Something he'd never experienced or considered before. The feeling nestled into his chest, warm and tranquil, mixing with a steady dose of anticipation. It only added to his confusion.
"So…what kind of training am I going to have?"
Yoda, humming quietly while hobbling along, wrinkled his already wrinkly forehead.
"Training?"
"Yes. The one you said we'd be doing together."
"Training…hmmm…know nothing of this training, I do. We are on a nice walk…yes."
Right then and there, Anakin realized Yoda was messing with him. Which either meant a reprimand or an esoteric lesson on some arcane topic. At least, past history told him that was so. Or maybe not. Maybe this was just a classic case of overthinking.
"Okay, I just thought that…" he ran out of ideas as the wizened Grandmaster gazed upwards. Honestly, how did a being that small manage to appear so big?
"Patience, Master Skywalker. No need to rush, there is. Enjoy what is around you. Take time to appreciate the present. To more serious matters, we will come to."
Anakin bit his tongue. This only added to Yoda's amusement.
"Oh, Skywalker. Always looking to the future, to the next great adventure."
He couldn't resist opening his mouth, thought better of it, and held back any urgent thoughts. The Grandmaster wasn't likely to give him answers on anything until they reached their destination. Even then, the prospect of straight talk remained dubious.
They reached the end of the main hall and the architecture transformed from classical to ancient. From marble to rough hewed stone. Cut through the stone was a small tunnel, just tall enough for the average person to fit through.
Anakin knew where they were, of course. He'd passed this place many times, even visited it a few times with Obi-Wan back in the day. But why did Yoda want to go to the Room of a Thousand Fountains? For the ambiance?
"All answers to your questions lay inside," Yoda said aloud, correctly ascertaining his thoughts.
Though a bit hesitant, he nodded nevertheless and gestured for the Grandmaster to go first.
"After you, Master."
The Force was strong inside the tunnel, almost as though it were compressed, squeezing the occupants who dared to enter. For this reason, younglings tended to avoid going in as they had not yet fully developed their abilities. Anakin, however, took the invisible weight in stride, allowing it to pass through him like a gentle rush of water. He took deep breaths in and out.
"Good. Good. Concentrating, you are."
He couldn't see Yoda's face, but he pictured a wide smile spreading across that green face. Just what did the old troll want?
They passed through the final step and entered a wonderland. A rush of green burst into view complete with immense trees, shrubbery, grasses, and wildflowers of all colors. Miniature waterfalls flowed from nowhere forming little pools at the edge of stone basins. The water was a deep, almost sapphire blue reminding Anakin of the lakes on the shores of Varykino. Wandering dirt trails weaved in and out of view, offering a variety of paths a visitor might take.
"Beautiful, is it not?"
"Certainly, Master."
The Room of a Thousand Fountains was a natural marvel found nowhere else on the planet made entirely of steel. As a child of the desert, Anakin had never seen so much as a stray leaf until he landed on Naboo for the first time. A place like this could calm the most troubled of souls.
Was that why Yoda wanted to take him here? To achieve some sort of personal tranquility?
"Struggled all your life you have, Master Skywalker," the Grandmaster again answered as though his thoughts were said aloud. "A great conflict rages. Much love inside you, there is. For your family, your wife, and friends. A selfless and noble Jedi Knight you have become, but experienced great tragedy you did…suffering, pain, yes far too much pain for someone so young. Unbalanced it has caused you to become."
Yoda took a few steps forward and gazed up at the wondrous overhead sky, breathing in, as though the air around him were life itself.
"The Force surrounds us, connects us. It binds all life together. A beautiful thing it is to feel." He turned back to Anakin, who felt even more vexed at where this was all going. "Never truly understood that, have you."
At one point in his life, a statement like that might aroused his resentment. But he'd learned a thing or two since the war and becoming a parent.
"It's not that I don't understand it's just…I can't seem to put all that into practice." Anakin flexed his right hand as the leather glove strained against the metal underneath. Physical gifts had been a source of pride for as long as he could swing a lightsaber. But the lost appendage was a reminder of those limits. Of what he'd lost because he didn't think before acting.
"For many years have I trained Jedi," Yoda grunted while hobbling back on his gimmerstick. "For many years, never did I question my methods. The Order thrived. Much credit was I given. But there is more than one way to learn." That gimmerstick stopped just in front of his chest, but not in a disciplinary way.
"A different approach we should have taken during your training."
"I-" Anakin tried to think of what to say to that. He'd always wanted to complain, stamp, and shout when the Council treated him unfairly. To tell them all that spiritual mumbo jumbo didn't matter as much as being the best duelist in the entire Order. This was the closest he'd come to hearing Master Yoda say the words, "I was wrong." And yet the need to say 'I told you so' wasn't there anymore.
"Important the spirit is, much more than this crude matter." And this time Yoda did poke him with the stick. "And that is the journey you must take."
"To become a better Jedi?" he asked.
"To find inner peace," came the grizzled response. Yoda settled his stick back down and said no more, looking at the lush foliage in front of him.
Anakin leaned forward to hear further instruction but when he received none, understood what Yoda wanted him to do. Slowly and steadily, black boots imprinting against the soft dirt below, he chose a path. There was no particular reason. Just pure instinct.
As the Chosen One treaded crooked stone squares and wet grass, he wondered just what this walk through the woods would reveal to him that classic meditation techniques and texts never had. A powerful Force nexus lay beneath all this greenery, the mountain upon which the Temple was built. But what the kriff was he supposed to do? Gaze at nature until an epiphany occurred?
Stop overthinking.
Taking deep steady breaths, he attempted to do as Obi-Wan had taught him many times before. Opening himself up the world around him, feeling the full flow of the Force. To achieve the elusive tranquility so many Masters spoke of growing up.
Feeling is not the same as connecting, came the words of his master.
Anakin pushed down a bulge of irritation. He tried not to dwell too deeply on past doubts for they had a nasty habit of catching up to him in dark ways. His surroundings were exquisitely beautiful. The air smelled of flowers and earth as Coruscant's powerful sun breathed life into them. He almost found himself…relaxed. Funny what you notice when you take the time to stop and look around.
A butterfly of swirling orange and black stripes gently flew by. He reached out to touch it, missing by mere fingertips.
Luke and Leia would love this place.
Their faces popped into his mind and a powerful burst of determination exploded from his heart. Whatever this journey had in store, whatever it took to fix the lingering darkness inside him, he'd do. For them…for Padme, who deserved to know the full truth of what had happened.
I will never be that man.
"Good. That is the first step towards self improvement."
The voice was one intimately familiar and its warmth came as a long, lost friend. Anakin turned around and saw the bluish-translucent figure of Qui-Gon Jinn.
"Master?"
The ghost gave a whimsical chuckle.
"Don't act so surprised, Anakin. You have felt my presence for quite some time now."
"But how-"
"-am I standing in front of you?" he finished for him with a smile. "The long and short of it is this: years before my demise on Naboo, I'd found a way to preserve my consciousness even after death. The specifics are abstract and you would likely find them quite boring. In any event, that is a topic for another time."
Anakin nodded, mindlessly accepting that explanation for now. More pressing subjects were on the forefront of his tongue.
"Why are you here, Master?"
"Why do you think I'm here?"
He couldn't giving a defensive reply. "My mother always said to never answer a question with a question."
"Your mother is a wise woman," Qui-Gon said, a smile slowly spreading across his whiskers. "But there is a purpose to my inquiry. Look around you. Take note of the here and now."
Anakin's eyes cast a wide net as he saw yet again just how marvelous the trees were. How their branches weaved an intricate wooden web around the enclosed habitat. The light danced about and flickered through lush thickets of jade and emerald. Exotic flowers opened their petals for buzzing insects. Soft sounds of water trickling sent pleasant tingles up his spine. The Force delighted in this oasis of vegetation.
He remembered the promise Yoda and Obi-Wan had made to help overcome his personal demons. And everything that preceded this moment.
"Inner peace," he said, repeating Yoda's words.
"Yes," Qui-Gon confirmed. "Or rather, the steps that must be taken in order for you to have a chance at that peace."
Anakin suddenly felt like he was a drop of poison soiling the beauty of the serenity around him. Hail destroying a meadow. A plague of famine upon a field. He did not feel worthy of a place like this.
"That is the first part we must address," Qui-Gon said with a sad cadence to his voice. "The root of your fears and how to face them."
The ghost walked (did ghosts walk? Anakin didn't know how to describe it) towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder. It was strangely comforting coming from someone who had no physical form.
"In order to achieve this goal, I will provide answers to some of the questions you have as well as insight."
Anakin perked up at this and in seconds, bombarded his grandmaster with everything that had been on his mind.
"Luke," he blurted out. "Where is he? Is he alright? Is he…with you?"
His heart pounded in anticipation. If there was any chance his son's spirit was alive…
"The Force holds many mysteries, and even I am not privy to all of them," the old Jedi Master started off cryptically. "But as far as I know, Luke Skywalker's consciousness did not remain after he became one with the Force."
"But-" Anakin's wheels spun and sputtered for another track to take. "I saw his memories. Yoda, Obi-Wan, myself…we all learned how to preserve ourselves somehow. He must have too."
Qui-Gon became contemplative, stroking his goatee, as though unsure as to how to deliver bad news.
"My guess is that he either did not learn of the technique before death or that the laws of time simply limited his ability to do so."
"How?"
Seeing Anakin's distress, Qui-Gon bade for them to walk the dirt path in front that snaked around the bend.
"The relationship between time and the Force is a peculiar one, Anakin. The latter resides in all living things, and all living things die. But where the Force is strongest, so is its power to transcend physical laws that otherwise may not be possible. Think of the planets that have a strong connection to the Living Force. More often than not they are sites of unusual legends and stories."
As you're aware, the stronger gravity is, the slower time goes. Gravity and the Force are intimately connected with one another. I highly suspect the Force has a similar effect on the passage of time. Though it is a vague subject, my belief is that Luke, being an extremely powerful being himself, was somehow able to find a Force nexus and harness its energy to travel through the World Between Worlds."
Anakin tried to keep up as best he could with the vague, sometimes esoteric terminology and theories Qui-Gon was espousing.
"Ahch-To…" he said slowly. "He used that as a last name."
"Thought to be one of the first ancient Jedi homeworlds," Qui-Gon added as he pieced it together. "Certainly powerful enough to use as a nexus."
"But that still doesn't explain why he couldn't come back as a ghost."
The two men stopped in front of one of the small fountains. A pair of birds chirped away happily as frothy bubbles formed in the basin of the pool. Qui-Gon gazed up at the sky in complete silence, content and peaceful.
"I think of time as ever present and yet simultaneously invisible. Elusive like sand going through a sieve, and yet when tampered with, it has enormous consequences. By traversing from the future to the past, Luke created an alternate branch in the timeline. Each one existed side by side as distinct possibilities."
"So…he made another universe?"
"In essence, yes. But though the laws of time can be temporarily broken it always seeks to correct itself. In other words, if Luke sought to prevent the future from whence he came, he would have also known that his success was not guaranteed. That is partially the reason that the Force, particularly the dark side, was so strong leading up to your confrontation with Sidious."
"The two timelines were merging?" Anakin asked, beginning to understand.
"Yes."
He gave a hard swallow.
"A world where I didn't fall, a world where I did."
Qui-Gon wrinkled his nose as he placed two hands behind his back.
"I wish I could spare you the pain, Anakin. But in the prior timeline, your fall to the dark side was a flashpoint in the lives of trillions. When Luke prevented that from happening, when the course of events permanently changed, he no longer existed by definition. Circling back to your original question, I think that is the best explanation why he was not able to sustain his consciousness when passing into the Force."
Seeing Anakin's dejected look, the wise Master smiled empathetically, placing another hand on his back.
"Contrary to how you feel, Luke isn't gone. His spirit lives within your newborn son. The Force has a way of reminding us that those we have lost are always with us in some form or another."
The sadness restricting Anakin's windpipe lessened a bit. Another question popped into his brain.
"Are they…the same?"
"Physically? Yes, they are as both were conceived by the same people. But I would be cautious in treating this version of your son as the one you met. The circumstances that led to their respective births are completely different. He will have his own experiences and choose his own path."
"I just…" the young warrior clenched a fist but released it just as quickly. "I wish Luke didn't have to sacrifice himself like that. I wish I'd made the right choice the first time." He thought of Padme, the images of his other, darker self strangling her in a fit of jealousy and rage. How was he going to explain that?
"One of the first lessons you must learn, Anakin, is that you cannot control the actions of others. Luke made his choice believing he had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Judging by what has occurred since then, it seems things are headed in a promising direction."
Qui-Gon's advice was well put but Anakin had no idea how to put it into practice. He resumed walking along the soft path of dirt and moss, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
"Tell me, Master. Has the danger passed? Or am I still capable of turning into…him."
"We are all capable of great good and great evil."
Anakin scoffed as politely as he could. "That's not a reassuring answer."
"It isn't meant to be. Reassurance to fear is wind to a wildfire. It only fuels the flames which in turn leads to more bad decisions. Sidious nearly ensnared you twice using this vicious cycle."
The visage of Qui-Gon vanished for half a second before reappearing in front of Anakin, who had the sense to stop despite his determination to run away from his feelings.
"There is no sense in avoiding this, Anakin." His tone was light and calm but with a touch of curtness. "Only by confronting your problems can you hope to overcome them."
Anakin wiped the tears away. Since collapsing into a pool of sorrow in front of his wife, pupil and master he'd found crying easier. That didn't mean it was enjoyable.
"Master Qui-Gon, you said that anyone can be good or evil. Why is it so hard for me to be good?"
"I would not say that is the case at all."
Anakin almost deflated in exasperation.
"How can you say that knowing what I've done? In two lifetimes!"
"I am only concerned with this lifetime, Anakin."
"Then you must know that I killed an entire village of Tusken Raiders."
Qui-Gon rubbed a ghostly hand over his goatee but otherwise appeared unbothered.
"I am. I was there at the time, trying to grab your attention in an effort to stop it."
"Wait…that was you?"
Anakin had remembered a tug in the Force before embarking on his murderous rampage. A plea from some unknown entity begging him not to do it. He'd been so angry at the time he hadn't recognized the source…
"I am not attempting to minimize what happened that night, young one. Making amends for that slaughter is something you may have to reckon with someday. But this is where I must emphasize that you cannot judge yourself too harshly. From the time of your birth, you have faced tremendous hardship others can scarcely imagine. I'm only sorry that I wasn't there to help."
Qui-Gon looked truly sad at the last sentence. Regret cast a shadow over his otherwise luminous presence. But he quickly regained a stronger, bluish hue.
"The point being, Anakin, is that we are all products of circumstance to some degree."
"But it's not the same," the Chosen One insisted. "You and Obi-Wan would never have fallen if you were in my shoes."
"Maybe not in the exact same situation. In others, however, I imagine we might be just as culpable. Take for instance, a world in which I survived Naboo and some time later, was approached by my old master to join him in his struggle to reshape the galaxy. As someone who considered himself a high minded idealist, would I have had the foresight to know that Dooku's offer would have enslaved myself to the will of Darth Sidious? I don't know with certainty."
Anakin only considered this thought for a millisecond before shaking shaggy locks of light brown hair into his face.
"Maybe. But this isn't about what you didn't do, it's about me and how my decisions have affected others."
Qui-Gon bowed sagely.
"I concur, my former pupil. Which leads me to my last bit of counsel."
The old Master gestured back towards a small dell of the greenhouse- sunny and brimming with plant life. At its edge stood another pool, this one much larger with three streams of water flowing into it. Numerous shrubs covered in blue and pink flowers tickled the edge of the intricately carved stone basin. When the two entered the circumference, Anakin immediately felt a rush of intense but pleasant warmth. His inner darkness fled before it.
"The path of the light isn't just the Force or some abstract idea in the form of a religion. It is the very fabric of everything sentient beings live for: kindness, companionship, joy, love…perhaps love most of all," Qui-Gon said with a beaming smile. "Stay true to these values, remember that there are people who care about your wellbeing as much as you care about theirs. Do this, and the dark side will never hold sway over your heart."
Anakin sensed that the conversation was coming to a close. Overcome with emotion, he squeaked out one more question.
"Will my wife and children forgive me?"
Qui-Gon, starting to recede from view, placed one one hand on the back of Anakin's head and to the latter's surprise, pulled him in close. This time, he did offer reassurance.
"I have no doubt they will. Believe in yourself and your family, and you will find true happiness."
And in a blinding flash, he was gone.
Obi-Wan Kenobi glanced down at his communicator. He'd messaged Anakin an hour ago and hoped that it was received.
"Where's your friend, Obi-Wan?"
The massive Besalisk, bumbling around in a grease stained apron, pulled up his cargo pants with one of his four arms.
"Oh, I'm sure he's taking his sweet time as usual. Anakin isn't one for punctuality."
In truth, he didn't know how long Anakin's training with Yoda would last. But it also wasn't unlike his former Padawan to be forgetful or become easily distracted by some other trivial matter. Why not order a delicious nerf steak with brown sauce in the meantime?
"Yeah? I remember when you used to bring him in here when he was just a young buck. Bit more sulky in those days, eh?"
Obi-Wan forced a smile to his face and hoped it came across as offhanded. "He was a teenager after all."
Dex chuckled heartily. "And those haircuts! You with that mullet and him with the braid! I think that's the funniest part about humans in my opinion."
When the laughter died down and the Besalisk noticed Obi-Wan was a bit distracted, he cleared his throat before a patron interrupted in a heavy lower class accent.
"Yo! Can I get another beer over here?"
"Pipe down!" Dex growled. "Hermione, fetch this lush an ale." He turned back towards his old friend. "Don't worry so much, eh? I'll fix something up for ya while you wait. Here's one on the house."
Obi-Wan nodded in appreciation as an enormous cup of jawa juice plunked down in front of him. Taking a sip of the tangy booze, he idly thought back to life before the war. How even as the dark side grew in strength and the Council lost their ability to use the Force to look into the future, things seemed normal. Not the dangerous precipe they were secretly teetering on.
Thoughts moved to Anakin and how far their relationship had come. Through all their scuffles, bickering, and arguments, they'd come to love each other as brothers. While the Council steadily soured on their Chosen One as the years went by, Obi-Wan went the opposite way, vigorously defending him, sometimes at the cost of his own reputation.
Never in a million light years did he ever think Anakin Skywalker would turn to the dark side. Raising and mentoring that nine year old boy to manhood had been a challenge and nothing short of the most important mission of his life. A mission he'd almost failed. In another lifetime, he had. Cold shivers raced up Obi-Wan's spine when remembering the colossal cyborg apparatus that his former padawan had been turned into…and that he'd been the catalyst for that transformation.
I am what you made me…
Obi-Wan settled his anxiety with an exhale into the Force. That future was a distant speck in the cosmos. Mere memory due to fade in time. He had a new purpose now: reforming the Jedi Order (as well as being a dutiful partner to Satine). Helping his best friend was intricately linked to that purpose…
His communicator buzzed.
B there in 2.
Ah, so he was on his way. Good. Hopefully he wasn't sending messages while driving. Obi-Wan took a swig of jawa juice to ease the parental instincts.
Soon enough, the automatic door wooshed open and Anakin popped in with about as much subtlety as usual. The wind had whipped his nearly shoulder length locks into a frazzled nest that settled into waves near the tips. He ran a hand through them in a lazy attempt at grooming.
"Skywalker! How are ya, my friend!"
The twenty three year old gave a good natured wave. "Feeling good, Dex."
"Wonderful! Say hi to the wife and kids for me."
Anakin smiled politely and quickly spotted his master. Several patrons turned their heads. A few whispered not so quietly. The tabloids refused to be silent or give the Skywalker family any sort of peace. Photographers climbed over themselves to capture a glimpse of the twins. So far he and Padme had been handling it well, but Obi-Wan could tell the stress of dealing with obnoxious paparazzi grated on him.
"There you are," Obi-Wan said wryly. "I was beginning to wonder if you'd gotten my message."
"I saw it." Anakin plopped down into the booth with a grunt. "Just forgot to respond."
"Until two minutes ago…"
"Right. Until two minutes ago."
"While you were driving, which I have told you repeatedly not to do."
Teenage Anakin might have rolled his eyes. This version gave a shifty grin.
"I'm here in one piece, aren't I? By that definition I'm the best driver in the galaxy. Multitasking."
Obi-Wan gave him a bored stare before tipping his cup in the air.
"You're special brand of logic never fails to amaze me, Anakin. Cheers."
It wasn't long until Hermione sauntered over with a complimentary beverage on the house (a Naboo Nectar, his favorite). They clinked their glasses together and took mighty swigs.
"You seem…different," Obi-Wan said to his protege.
"How?" Anakin asked.
"You're…lighter. Not as burdened."
Reading his best friend's mood had become a speciality over the mood. A picture painted by one thousand different indicators. What he saw was night and day from Padawan Anakin, Jedi Knight Anakin, or even High General Anakin.
His shoulders relaxed into a rested position. The jawline, often tense, was loose and his mouth did not chew on either teeth or tongue. There had been a noticeable spring in his step upon entering the diner. He moved quicker, as though a fifty ton weight had been removed. More distinctly, his presence had changed dramatically. Anakin often felt unpredictable in the Force- a blazing sun often blocked by thick clouds, which in turn could produce raging storms. His light had been darkened over the years (no doubt influenced by Palpatine). Slowly but surely, those clouds were retreating. The sun was free to shine.
"I do feel better," he admitted. "The mind-healing sessions, my family…it's been helping."
"And what about your training with Master Yoda? How did that go?"
Obi-Wan saw Anakin retreat a bit as he shifted in his chair, but to his delight, felt him overcome the hesitation and use the light side to calm himself.
"Good. I…" he paused. "I saw Master Qui-Gon."
"Did you really? I was wondering when that might happen." Obi-Wan couldn't resist a playful smirk as he sipped his Jawa Juice. Anakin's nonplussed expression was far too amusing.
"Wait a minute. Are you saying you knew I'd see Master Qui-Gon today at the Temple?"
"I knew nothing of the sort. However, he came to me not too long ago on Mandalore in a dream. He was the one who warned me that Sidious was about to strike and that Luke was a vergence in the Force."
Anakin sipped his drink and set it down. He stole a glance outside the long-oval shaped window, teeming with yellow-golden light from the mid-afternoon sun.
"I still haven't told Padme about Vader yet."
That was quite an admission. That he was saying the name 'Vader' out loud was a step in the right direction.
"Forgive me for sounding too much like an overbearing older brother," he said evenly. "But you should. And soon. She deserves to know. Especially after what happened the other day."
Truth be told, Obi-Wan felt a little nervous about the conversation they were about to have. But that was preferable to Anakin shutting down and refusing to talk about his problems. Difficult and awkward certain subjects might be, they had made progress in proper communication.
"It's just…hard."
Obi-Wan felt Anakin's pain acutely and tried to send a calming wave through their unshielded bond. He really was doing so much better. Closer to achieving balance than he had been in years…if ever.
"You are strong and wise, Anakin. I cannot even begin to tell you how proud I am that you've gotten to this point. So allow me to present one more thing I believe can help."
He reached into his pocket, pulled out a holo card with a built-in chain code and handed it to Anakin.
"What's this?"
"The name and address of a therapist. I've heard she's one of the best on the entire planet."
"Therapist?" Anakin still didn't take the holo card, staring at it as though it were some poisonous insect. "I already have mind healers, Obi-Wan."
"This is a different type of mind healing, my friend. One that does not involve the Force at all."
Still suspicious, Anakin finally took the card and activated it. Blue letters in Galactic Basic popped up of the doctor in question alongside a description and link to their holo website. "How is this supposed to help me?"
"It was recommended by Satine, actually. Apparently this kind of healing works quite well. The format takes the form of an hour-long session in which the patient discusses their problems to the therapist in question."
Obi-Wan thought Anakin was taking this concept rather well for the mere reason that he didn't outright dismiss it right away. Baby steps.
"So you just talk and that's it?"
"I imagine there are concrete steps towards solutions involved but in a nutshell: yes."
Anakin belched loudly after taking another swig of booze. "And this…Flora Gaanjal is supposed to magically solve my problems if I yap away about my life?"
Obi-Wan heard the deep skepticism in his voice and could almost visualize those mental walls going up as he set the card down on the table. "I know talk therapy sounds a bit…underwhelming. But I wouldn't be suggesting this if I thought it was dangerous in any way."
A rising tide of anger swelled into the Force. Anakin had begun to work his jaw again and for a split second, Obi-Wan thought he might have made a grave mistake. He didn't feel endangered but an outburst was coming as sure as the sun would rise the next day.
Then it stopped. The violent tide vanished and became a peaceful sea.
"Okay. I'll try."
A small smile graced Obi-Wan's lips. Right then and there, he knew his brother, his best friend in the entire galaxy, the man he loved above the Jedi Code, was going to get through this.
When Anakin returned home later that evening, the first sensation he felt was a cry in the Force…and inside his home.
Uh oh.
Luke and Leia were both wailing and he could hear it from the edge of the landing platform where he parked his personal transport. R2 whistled and buzzed with anticipation.
[Are the tiny humans dying?]
Anakin bit back a small laugh.
"No buddy, they're fine. You've heard them cry before."
R2 blew a large mechanical raspberry in response.
[Not like this]
"Fair point." Anakin leapt forward, taking long strides. He sensed no true danger inside, though anxiety pumped inside his veins all the same. The Senate was in recess after a record breaking 100 days. Obi-Wan had ordered him off any missions for three weeks. Everything should be okay. Force if anything happened to Padme or the twins…
…he stopped at the edge of the open, circular living room and the anxiety melted away.
"Hush, my angels. Sleep now…"
Padme held both babies in her arms. Threepio stood at a respectful distance (most likely on her orders). No handmaidens were in sight. It was just them. The twins were still crying but then something remarkable happened. She began to sing.
Anakin had never heard her sing before and hadn't known she could before this day. He thought it strange, considering they'd been married for over three years. The war drowned out all exploration of hidden talents and hobbies. But as he leaned against one of the pillars at the edge of the room, the sound coming from his wife put him into a trance.
It was a delightful lullaby. Soft, pretty, and full of love. As warm as a summer breeze blowing through a window. A song from a mother to her children. He couldn't understand a word and realized it must have been in the native tongue of the Naboo people. Whatever the language, it worked to perfection. Luke and Leia's screaming cries faded into soft babbles and coos. Within minutes, they were fast asleep.
Instinctively, he tiptoed over to join his family, kissing Padme on the cheek and took Luke into his arms. Each of them stood up and proceeded to take them into the nursery room.
Anakin pressed a gentle kiss onto Luke's forehead as he lay his son down into a soft crib, full of inviting toys, poofy pillows, and stuffies. His sister joined him seconds later. Padme pulled their blanket over while Anakin whispered words into the coming night.
"Goodnight little ones." His heart felt so light he could walk on the clouds themselves. "I promise, as long as I'm alive, as long as I'm your father, I will protect and love you until the end of my days."
Padme beamed. She nestled into his arms as they watched their precious bundles of joy sleep peacefully for a time before retreating into the living room. Anakin double checked to make sure the security alarm was active and the force fields were up.
Husband and wife joined each other in a happy but tired embrace on one of the elongated sofas. Both were content to stay silent and enjoy their respective companies for an undetermined amount of time. Anakin stared up at the ceiling and turned his head towards the West, as the last hues of pink and purple disappeared into the retreating dusk. He breathed in, the scent of Padme's divine mix of shampoo and perfume sent him into paradise. Her hand in his felt so right…so indescribably perfect.
Qui-Gon's words echoed into the Force.
Believe in yourself and your family, and you will find true happiness.
Was this what he meant? Was this what Master Yoda referred to as inner peace?
"I love our family," he said to Padme. Her curly locks ticked his chin as she turned upwards and pecked him on the lips.
"Me too." With a heavy sigh and an equally heavy heart, Anakin did something he'd never fully mastered before: let go. The time had come. Fear would not dictate his actions tonight. "Padme," he said in his softest voice yet.
"Hm?"
"There's something I need to tell you. About why I collapsed the other day."
She stiffened but sensing his vulnerability in a way akin to that of a Jedi, Padme snuggled closer and wrapped her arms around his neck. The tenderness in those brown eyes nearly melted him to the floor.
"You can tell me anything, Ani."
He sensed her eagerness to know the root of his distant behavior since Palpatine's death. But also the same kindness, compassion, and desire to help that defined Padme Amidala. If there was one person in this universe he could trust, she was it.
Anakin took in a breath, let it out, and began what would be the most difficult story of his life.
"Do you know the reason why Luke came back in the first place?" When she predictably shook her head, he explained. "Because in his timeline, I fell to the dark side. I joined the Sith and became a monster known as Darth Vader…"
Six years later, Mandalore
Showered? Check.
Clean robes? Check.
Shaved? Check.
Fancy cologne Obi-Wan gave him as a birthday present? Check.
Anakin ran a hand through his golden brown locks. Padme had forced a haircut upon him despite ample resistance. It was a moderate length, well above the shoulder but still touching the upper part of his neck. He'd allowed the barber to go no further than that. He still remembered how juvenile padawan braid made him look.
"All of this for a wedding," he said, half chuckling to himself.
There was a beep outside the automatic door but he already knew who it was. Padme entered in a huff. Naboo makeup and trappings failed to hide the frustration painted on her lovely face.
"Have you seen Luke and Leia?"
"Hello to you too."
Anakin loved teasing her like this. Padme was not the kind of person to poke when truly upset, but she was irritated not angry. He hugged her as much as that was possible (her dress must have had five layers at minimum) and planted a kiss on her cheek.
"Yes, hello my dear," she said, returning to gesture with a quick peck. "Now, have you seen our children?"
"Haven't a clue."
The lethal glare she gave in return would have skinned a gundark alive.
"Anakin, I told you to look after them."
"You told me to get ready!" he protested.
"Correction: I was getting ready because I have to wear this." She gestured to the multiple layers of fabric, her corset, elbow length gloves, elaborate updo, and the enormous hoop skirt covered by a draping gown of velvet purple. "You're a Jedi, where robes and a tunic pass for wedding attire. Surely you could have spared the time."
"I had to shower! I asked Dorme to watch them for fifteen minutes."
"Mhm, and as we all know, the twins have never escaped handmaiden supervision before."
The point was well made and the dripping sarcasm only punctuated it. Extremely Force sensitive children were not the easiest to look after.
"So it was technically Dorme who lost them…"
"Don't pin this on her. Not when it was your responsibility," Padme scolded. Her irritation receded with a sigh. She placed a hand on her forehead. "I'm sorry. But this is a big day and I don't want those two causing any trouble. Please find them."
"I will." Anakin meant it too. The children could run but they couldn't hide from their father, who was able to sense their presence in a Mynock minute. "I'm sorry."
She leaned in and kissed him. Apology accepted.
"I have to finish my makeup. Just make sure you locate them by the time the ceremony ends. We're the first family to greet the newlyweds."
Anakin found it odd that a Mandalorian wedding would be so minimal. The bride and groom said vows in private with no officiate or priest of any kind to witness. A massive party occurred afterwards with everyone involved. Satine had wanted a much more intimate affair but in the end, as a member of the Royal Family, she'd bowed to the political pressure of her sister and other high ranking clans. Marrying a Jedi was controversial enough.
Time to find the munchkins.
Unlike most royal abodes across the galaxy, the one on Sundari did not have much pomp or grandeur. Mandalorian austerity didn't allow for fancy architecture that you might find on the Core Worlds. Apart from the minimalist Throne Room and a simple balcony above a grand plaza, all bedrooms were located on a floor below the palace. Only a select few guests had been selected to stay in them, which gave the twins ample opportunity to explore.
He reached out through the Force, but subtly. The twins could sense him almost as well as he could sense them. They were close. A hunch formed.
Anakin traversed the expansive hallways and took the marble stone steps two at a time until he reached the top floor and took a sharp detour that he knew led to the entrance of the palace. With each step, Luke and Leia's signatures grew stronger.
The sound of snickering and whispering reached his ears upon reaching the main foyer which bordered the edge of the Palace. Two guards stood at silent attention, unmoving and stiff.
Anakin gave a polite nod as he peered towards the adjacent corner and moved slowly. He dampened his Force presence in what was basically amounting to a game of hide and seek. Clever as they were, the twins hadn't yet figured out that little trick.
As he planned to pounce, someone else beat him to the punch.
"Do these belong to you?"
Bo-Katan, dressed in full regalia, which for her meant polished Beskar armor complete with every weapon imaginable, emerged around the corner holding two six year olds in each of her hands.
Anakin tapped a finger on his chin as both children flashed piano toothed smiles. Guilty as charged.
"Hmm, can't say I've ever seen these two scamps before. I say throw them into the dungeon."
"Daddy!"
Leia's indignation broke first, whereas Luke burst into a fit of giggles.
Bo Katan's helmet was on, but Anakin could practically see the massive eye roll taking place underneath it.
"Please keep your brood in line, Skywalker. At least until the festivities start."
She released the twins with a plop on the ground. Both immediately scurried behind their father's legs.
The Duchess didn't bother waiting for a reply and ordered the guards to double their watch. Anakin took his children by the hand and led them away from the palace entrance.
"You know I told you not to run away from Auntie Dorme."
Predictably, Leia was the first to try and spin a tale clever enough to fool her father.
"We didn't run away," she protested in the most innocent voice possible. "We were just gonna go to the refreshers."
"Is that right?"
"Yes, daddy."
Anakin had to resist a snort at the blatant fib. His daughter was good at cover stories for someone her age, but not good enough.
"So I didn't just catch you trying to sneak into Uncle Obi-Wan and Auntie Satine's private wedding ceremony?"
Luke dropped all pretenses with a mild shrug.
"I wanted to watch them get married."
"Shhh! Luke!"
"What? It's no big deal. He caught us."
Anakin found a secluded corner by the marble stairwell and bent down to their miniature heights. He beckoned for them to listen, which they always did when daddy gave them the 'look'.
"You know mommy and I don't like it when you wander off like that."
Both blond and brunette cast their chins downward in avoidance. Anakin tipped them upwards again. "Look at me," he said calmly but firmly. "Tell me why you tried to sneak into the palace."
Leia might have been better at coming up with fibs, but she was also quicker to speak her true thoughts and feelings.
"It's not fair that we can't go to the wedding!" Leia shouted.
Luke, ever the calmer of the two, was less forceful in making his opinion known. "We just wanna see Uncle Ben and Auntie Satine."
Anakin allowed himself a small smile, though he reeled it in enough for his offspring to understand the consequences of their actions. "I know," he said sympathetically. "Sometimes there are things you can't do and we don't always like it. But it's for a reason."
"Why?" Luke's blue eyes sparkled with curiosity.
Anakin loved how innocently curious his son was. "On Mandalore, a wedding is just two people. They say vows to each other. It's considered rude for anyone else to interrupt."
"Does that mean Uncle Obi-Wan doesn't wanna see us?"
Anakin's heart dropped a few notches at his daughter's question which sounded more like a conclusion. Sometimes it scared him just how much they shared in common.
"Not at all, princess," he said, reaching out to stroke her hair back into place. "It just means he and Auntie Satine need to be alone for a little bit. Just like mommy and I need to be alone sometimes…"
"Is that when you guys wrestle? Is it like that?" Luke asked. Anakin nearly choked on his own saliva.
Leia was only too happy to correct her brother. "No, Luke. It means-"
"Let's not talk about that right now," he jumped in quickly. "All I'm saying is that Obi-Wan and Satine are expressing their love for each other. And when the ceremony is done, they'll share that love with all of us. Does that make sense?"
Thankfully it did and he was spared the awkwardness of having to answer any more questions about mommy and daddy's alone time. Leia's lower lip pushed upwards in an adorable pout.
"If I gotta wear itchy clothes, I wanna see the wedding."
Anakin couldn't resist a laugh. Padme delighted in dressing her children like china dolls, as was custom on Naboo, but Leia didn't always appreciate the gesture. Luke often got off easy- his attire only consisted of a silver pendant, light brown boots and a sky blue robe set that brought out his eyes. His sister on the other hand, was pampered in a billowing dress made of purple satin highlighted by puffy sleeves embroidered with sparkling stones. Completing the darling ensemble were white stockings, black booties, and a silver headpiece that kept her hair in a braided twist which formed an elaborate bun at the top. On average it took about an hour for the handmaidens to get Leia ready- excluding the time it took to sit her still.
"You're wearing those clothes for a reason, young lady."
Padme trudged up the stairs in her own cumbersome getup, but over thirty years of practice made it seem like she was wearing nothing at all. Her expression was stern, but not frightfully so.
"Now that we're reunited, I won't have to worry about any more misadventures, right?"
Luke and Leia flashed each other guilty looks. Luckily, Anakin decided to play super dad.
"Misadventures? They just got lost going to the bathroom. Right?" He gave the twins a sly wink and they giggled in return, nodding their heads vigorously.
Anakin saw Padme trying very hard not to smile and that was all the incentive he needed to grab her hand and place a kiss on it.
"M'lady."
"Ew! Dad!"
"Yuck!"
This time, Padme's lips widened just a little bit. She leaned down and brushed off Leia's dress.
"Even if the clothes sometimes itch, you look wonderful, Leia." She gave her a hug and then turned to Luke. "So do you, my precious baby boy." Luke pretended not to enjoy the doting but gave himself away with a blush and a grin. Leia teased him with a poke to the shoulder.
Standing back up and addressing her husband, Padme straightened in a regal manner. "Shall we greet the newlyweds?"
The Skywalker family obliged, making their way down towards the Great Plaza in preparation for Obi-Wan and Satine's arrival. Mandalorian ceremonies were notoriously short and their receptions legendary. It wouldn't do to be tardy for it.
A large crowd was already waiting by the time they reached the plaza. A whole host of familiar faces stood amongst the crowd: numerous representatives of the Mandalorian government, the heads of multiple clans, several Jedi including Ahsoka, Master Yoda, Plo Koon, Adi Gallia, Shaak Ti, and Quinlan Vos. Remarkably, almost the entire 212th division had shown up with Commander Cody at the helm. Captain Rex led a contingent from the 501st which included Echo, Fives, Jesse, Hardcase, Vaughn, and Appo. First Minister Organa was also there along with several Senators. Anyone who was anyone had gathered on this warrior planet to witness something one of a kind: the union of a Jedi and a Mandalorian.
Topping off the list of distinguished guests was a little boy, no older than four, with sweeping blondish-red hair, thin nose and cyan colored eyes. He stood in between Bo Katan and Korkie Kryze, the latter of whom had a hand on his shoulder. The boy waved at Luke and Leia, who waved back.
"Mommy, can we play with Jinn?" Leia asked.
"After dinner, sweetheart," Padme said, pressing a finger to her lips to keep them quiet as they took their places at the front of the procession. Of course, Anakin couldn't resist breaking that protocol.
"So much for no misadventures," he teased in a whisper.
"Asking three small children not to play with each other the entire evening is not only unrealistic but a recipe for multiple objects to break."
Her response was diplomatic but Anakin sensed Padme's personal desire to let loose and have a little fun. He held the distinction of being able to bring out that side of her.
"Fair point. I'll see you on the dance floor."
A loud horn rang out, signaling the vows had been exchanged and both parties would be exiting as husband and wife. Loud cheers rang out when Obi-Wan and Satine appeared at the edge of the balcony, each looking as though they'd won a million credits. Anakin might have been one of the few in the crowd that truly knew what that look meant. The kind so overjoyed at spending the rest of their life with the person next to them, it transcended happiness.
"Why did they wait so long to tie the knot anyway?" Anakin said above the clapping so Padme could hear.
"Love goes at its own pace, Ani."
Padme's response was measured but he heard the affection behind those words. The reminder that they had likely moved too fast when they first fell in love and just how thrilling it was.
Luke and Leia jumped up and down with glee as the lovely couple descended from the palace. With one in Jedi robes and the other in traditional Mandalorian armor, they made for quite a pair. The two greeted their son first, showering him with affection, before moving on to the Skywalkers.
Anakin gave the children a nudge and the family bowed respectfully. Positively radiant, the couple professed their gratitude.
"Thank you for coming. All of you," Satine said, tears welling her eyes.
"It's our pleasure," Padme said, failing to hold back tears of her own. No sooner had the women embraced in a hug, Obi-Wan and Anakin grinned at each other.
"My kids tried to break into your ceremony," the latter told the former dryly.
"Did they now?"
Obi-Wan pretended to be offended by raising his eyebrow at the twins, who shot their father betrayed glances.
"Daddy!"
With a laugh, Obi-Wan ruffled Luke's hair and touched the bottom of Leia's chin.
"So much like their father."
The men chuckled heartily and they too, embraced in a tight hug.
"It means the galaxy that you're here to celebrate this special day," Obi-Wan said into his ear.
Anakin pretended to scoff.
"Come on, old man. What kind of wedding would it be if the best man didn't show up?"
He stole a glimpse at his children's smiling faces, Padme and Satine looking on in deep affection, the nods of clan Kryze, a thumbs up from Ahsoka, and even silent approval from Commander Cody. Overlooking them all, just close enough to spot, was the blue ghost of Qui-Gon Jinn.
A rush of exhilarating euphoria overtook Anakin Skywalker. This was true happiness.
I can promise nothing but pure happiness at this point:)
Only a few more chapters left. Many of which will be much shorter. This is the last long one. Christ, what a journey.
A few notes:
A/N#1: Regarding the Vader suit, some of you had questions about the timing or that Vader's suit was created by Cylo spontaneously. In this timeline, I have Palpatine moving up certain contingencies, one of them being enforcing his will on Anakin if he was ever resistant to his whims. So he had Cylo and others create another version of the suit as insurance.
A/N#2: I double checked my notes and my story. Anakin did not tell Padme about the other timeline when the reunited in the aftermath of the climactic battle. So she had no idea what had happened before Luke came back.
A/N#3: Qui-Gon is not omnipotent. He was the intervention in the Force that assisted OG Luke and others throughout the course of the story. He has a broader conception of events. But he can't predict everything, nor does he know everything.
Anyway, that's all for now. I'll try to have the next update in late February. If not, early March. I aim to finish this by May.
Rock on!
~The Wasp