"...really?"

I look down at the dress I'm wearing. A simple indigo lace fit. "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing," Mom quickly says. "I just thought that since we're headed out, you might want to dress up a little more formally."

"This is formal."

"But it's a bit plain, no?"

I shrug. That's the point. Tonight, I want as little attention on me as possible. This event is no longer about me. And I'm glad for that. Having the spotlight on you is sometimes really weird. I wouldn't mind fading into obscurity after all of this is over. Just being plain old Tati. it sounds great.

Mom is still talking as she zips me up. "...and Serafina is still upset because now I won't be paying her God knows how much to plan the wedding. Honestly, Tati! You should've said something earlier."

I sigh. Maybe it's a good thing Mom's being Mom again. It means nothing has changed between us. But I don't know if she realized she wasn't going to please everyone when she suddenly announced that Cordin and I wouldn't be getting married. But that's life, I think. You can't make everyone happy at the same time.

Dad pokes his head out from my parents' bedroom. "Well, be glad that she did speak up, Art. And you need to get ready."

Mom starts pulling curlers from her hair. "I need to check on Aquilo-"

"I'll do it. Go get dressed."

Mom takes Dad's place in their bedroom, closing the door behind her. I sigh and Dad shrugs at me. "You know she always gets like this at the end of the Games."

"I can't help but feel like it's personal this time."

"Don't worry about it. Just let her get it out of her system now, and tonight, she'll be all smiles. Now, is your brother ready yet?"

I worry about sticking out as I make my way backstage. And honestly, I might; I'm underdressed as hell. Where do all these stylists get these clothes from? I guess they make the outfits themselves, but why are there so many here? Shouldn't they all have gone home after the tribute interviews? It doesn't take this many people to dress up one person.

But everyone seems too busy to notice me and I decide I'm fine with that. I hike up my dress and look around. They're not here. Are they in the dressing rooms? Where are the dressing rooms anyway? Well, I found the stage. That's not what I want.

"Tati?"

I turn around. Cordin has shoved their hands into their pockets. They wear a faded pink suit with lavender accents and a black tie. Their hair has been smoothed back and I can tell makeup has been caked onto their face.

"...um…"

"I know," Cordin sighs. "It's fucking ugly. But what are you doing back here? Should you be in the audience or something?"

"I wanted to talk to you personally." I find myself unable to meet Cordin's gaze all of a sudden.

"Oh. Well…I guess now's as good a time as any, then."

I take a deep breath. So do they. And we both say "I'm sorry," at the same time. Then look at each other in confusion. Huh?

"It's me who should be sorry," Cordin says quickly. "For ruining everyone's plans. If I hadn't won, you wouldn't have made that rule change. Bit tells me people are really upset in 3 about it."

I shake my head. "You have nothing to apologize for. I do. I should've talked to my mom and convinced her to make the rule change earlier. Or never have gone through with this stupid twist at all. Then you wouldn't even be here and I wouldn't have wasted six months lying to myself and being too much of a coward to stand up to her."

Cordin lets out a bitter laugh. "As someone who was also too much of a coward to stand up to my own parents, I'd never fault you for that. They would've found out and gotten mad eventually. I feel like there's nothing I would've been able to do."

"People suck," I mutter before I even realize it.

"Yeah. People do suck."

We fall into an uncomfortable silence. I don't know what else I can say. Am I trying to make myself feel better, or Cordin? I don't know if I'm doing a good job of it, though.

"So…" Cordin breaks the silence. "Do I get to stay in the Capitol?"

"I think that's the plan. Mom and I agreed we have to give you some kind of prize since she technically promised one. And if we were married, you'd have to live here anyway. Um, unless you want to go back home?"

"No!" Cordin blurts out, so loudly that several stagehands stop into their tracks to look over at us. "I mean, I…I don't wanna go back home! My family made it clear I'm dead to them and useless now that I'm not the Head Gamemaker's daughter's boy toy or something. Um…no offense."

I have no idea how to react to that statement.

"I killed four people and let down another home. I don't think I could face any of the districts knowing that. I don't feel like I deserve to be one of them anymore. So I wanna stay here. Can I stay here instead?"

I nod. "I think you deserve more good things than you realize. But yeah, sure. You can stay. I think I could use someone who knows how things feel better than other people do. Some of them just don't get it. If that makes sense?"

"Yeah," Cordin agrees. "You guys here seem more accepting than back home."

"For the most part we are. But if my brother gives you any shit, let me know. I'll take care of it."

Cordin laughs again. This time, it's genuine. "Sure thing. Ace buddies?"

"Ace buddies."

Up on that stage, where Extro is excitedly gesturing to them, Cordin suddenly seems to lose all composure and they freeze up. Then we lock eyes and I smile at them. They smile back, and that seems to give them the confidence they need to walk forward and shake hands with Extro.

"First of all," Extro begins after helping Cordin sit down. "I think some congratulations are in order. Look at you, Mx. Sanchez! You've done what only 149 other tributes did!"

Cordin nods rapidly. "Yeah. It feels very surreal. I'm still getting used to it."

Extro just grins reassuringly. No doubt he's had his fair share of nervous interviewees before. "Well, if I get a tad too carried away, be sure to bring me back down to Earth. Let's talk about your Games."

Cordon hesitates. "Um…okay. What do you want to talk about?"

"Why don't we start at the beginning? Losing two members of your alliance almost instantly…how did that make you feel?"

Cordin shifts around in their seat. "I feel terrible. Braydyn never understood how much danger she was in and could never do anything about it. And I liked Kaydyn. I got along with him the most out of any of my allies. I wish we hadn't ended things on such a sour note."

They continue to shift as Extro asks them even more questions. Cordin's voice shakes and wobbles. "I did what I had to do to defend myself. I didn't want to die."

"Of course," Extro agrees. "Now that you've won, and have been granted permission by President Glacier and Head Gamemaker Tremblay to take up permanent residence in the Capitol, how do you feel?"

"I feel grateful." Cordin seems much more relaxed now. "I think I really needed a fresh start, after everything that happened at home. If I had to fight my way through the Games to prove that I'm deserving of being loved, then so be it. But I know I am. And I don't want to live my life afraid anymore."

The crowd gives them a standing ovation. I jump to my feet without any hesitation and clap as loudly as I can.

"Well, would you look at that!" Extro chuckles. "They love you here, bud!"

Cordin briefly turns their head away, but not before the cameras pick up the blush spreading across their cheeks.

"Okay, go over it one more time?"

"Again?"

"Just to make sure I got it!"

Cordin rolls his eyes as he looks up from his papers. "How you made it to second year without my help is beyond me."

"Says the guy who's literally copying my old notes word for word."

"I started late. You don't have an excuse."

The two of us are sitting together in the Romelia Crane Memorial Library, studying for our respective upcoming tests. Or attempting too. Cordin has made very little progress on finishing his notes, and I've done even less work. I crumple up a sticky note in annoyance and throw it at his head. It lands in his hair and gets stuck.

"I can't believe your classes are actually cool," Cordin complains. "Dark Days literature and Peacekeepers reformation. I'm stuck on memorizing Games Victors. It took us two classes just to cover the Quell Victors."

"So? It's not even that hard."

"Easy for you to say! Your mom's a Gamemaker."

I make a halfhearted attempt to skim my textbook again. I hate Peacekeeper Reformation with Dr. Mylos. "Treasure it now, because once you hit second year, they really start throwing all kinds of information at you. I really wish I had taken another elective this year. Just to make things interesting."

"What did you end up taking?"

"Public Speaking 101."

"Good for you," Cordin grins. "I'm glad to see you getting out of your shell more, Tati."

"Yeah, I thought it might help me be more confident. And better at talking to crowds without having a panic attack. I think Professor Luna really likes me because I did not deserve that 96 I got on the first performance. But I won't complain about a boosted grade."

Cordin shrugs. "Electives scare me. Back home, our university offered only three kinds of programs and that was it. There weren't electives or performing arts or even history. There was some science, but it was very basic."

"Yeah, the selection here at GSC is a lot. But I like it. I think I'll take the follow up to Astrology 101 next year. Professor Cheng is an easy marker."

"Xe is." Cordin finishes scrawling stuff down on his notes. "Okay, what's the part you're stuck on?"

"This part is about the initial conception of the original Peacekeeper unit and I hate it." I groan and flip through the textbook. "Like, I get it. But I don't get it. Something just isn't clicking."

Cordin turns my textbook to face him so he can read it. The library starts to empty out; it's late and most students want to go home. A few stare at us as we pass by, but both of us are used to it by now. Cordin did once admit he felt like an outsider in the world of colourful Capitol fashion. I told him that as someone who only ever dyed her hair, I felt the same.

But these days are easier to bear. Weights have been lifted off my shoulders and I feel as though I can get up again. Sometimes, it's still hard. I have to force myself to swallow my medicine or take a shower. Every once in a while, it's absolutely fucking difficult.

But I didn't expect things to improve overnight. Just being able to wake up in the mornings and feel that I can take on the day with a smile on my face is more than enough. I don't have to hide my sexuality from my family anymore. I don't have to get hitched to someone against my will. I have an in-person friend, a proper friend who accepts me for who I am.

And for once, I feel I can wait eagerly for what comes next in my life.

And that concludes the end of Tati's story! Thank you so much to everyone who read, reviewed, and sent in a tribute! This story was a very personal project for me, a chance to let out my thoughts and frustrations, and I'm honoured to share it with you all. It means a lot that so many of you stuck along for the ride.

Enjoy life, fanfiction, and please remember to always take care of yourselves. You matter, regardless of what your sexuality is how you identify. You are so much more than that and you deserved to be valued and treated as a person for it.

Take care everyone,

-Vr