A/N - Warning: Sloppy Editing Ahead. :(

Bear with me, please... Thanks for reading! 3

The flight back to California was a blur. Paige didn't usually drink on airplanes, because she liked to feel that she was in control, in case something happened. On this flight, though, she was drinking to escape the woman who was haunting her thoughts.

Aeryn.

In Paige's first year at Stanford, she found herself attracted to women who looked like Emily, at least in an abstract way: Bronzed skin, dark hair, almond eyes, swimmer's body. She didn't even realize that that's what was going on until she actually started dating one of those Emily lookalikes, only to discover that the woman didn't measure up to Emily's standards. It was as if the woman were wearing an Emily costume that didn't really fit right. Ever the loyal girlfriend, Paige was unwilling to break it off, though. She had been able to leave the real Emily, but that was only for reasons of self-preservation. She would never leave this substitute Emily - or anyone, for that matter - if it meant hurting her. In the end, she didn't have to leave. Amber was putting away some of Paige's laundry when she found the picture – the old faded snapshot that Aria had taken of Paige and Emily, arm in arm, still in their Speedos from practice. To anyone else, it might have looked like nothing more than a picture of two teammates, but Amber was able to put the pieces together – a picture of someone who looked remarkably like her – someone whom Paige had never told her about – hidden away in her underwear drawer. More telling than where Paige had kept the picture was the fact that she had kept the picture. It suddenly made sense why Paige had always seemed slightly emotionally distant, as if there were some kind of invisible shield around her heart. Amber had thought that it was just Paige's nature; dark, mysterious, aloof. It had been what attracted her to Paige in the first place. When she found the picture, she suddenly realized that Paige was still holding her heart for the girl in the photo and had only pursued her in the as a placeholder or substitute.

When Amber confronted her with the picture, Paige didn't deny her feelings. She just dipped her head and said that she was sorry, over and over. Amber ripped up the picture and threw the two halves at Paige before she stormed out of the door.

It didn't hurt nearly as much to watch Amber leave as it had hurt every single time Paige had had to watch Emily leave. If only it had been as easy to tape Paige's broken heart back together as it had been for her to tape the picture back together.

After Amber left, Paige found it easy to stay single, to her surprise. She had swimming and her studies to keep her busy. Once she blew out her knee in the weight room, sending her athletic career to a screeching halt, she filled in the time by doubling down on academics, . It was only after college and a few years of climbing the corporate ladder that she started paying attention to her heart again.

With Aeryn, Paige went in the opposite direction from Amber. Aeryn was short, blonde, and almost waifishly thin. She was easygoing; satisfied. Paige never felt that she was under constant scrutiny as she had with Emily; – that Aeryn was always on the lookout for some slip-up on Paige's part or some silly little excuse to break up with her. Neither was Aeryn on the lookout for a better alternative; someone to leave Paige for.

When Aeryn found out about Emily, she wasn't threatened or suspicious. On the contrary, she understood and even sympathized with Paige.

In many ways, what they had seemed perfect. Mainly, though, it felt boring. Paige knew that she it was time for a change.

Paige asked the flight attendant for another round and sighed as she rested her head against the headrest. She had run away to Stanford to put some distance between herself and Emily. Now, she was running back, to get a bit of distance from Aeryn. But she hadn't counted on Emily's reaction. In her wildest dreams, she hadn't expected that Emily would think that they could get back together. She should have known; Emily's thoughts always headed her way when she was bored or dissatisfied. Why should she have thought that would change, when nothing else changed in her life?

Once again, she had put herself in an impossible position: Stay out west and have to figure out how to deal with Aeryn, or move back to the east coast and figure out how to deal with Emily. Either way, it would be a bad decision. She really wished she had taken that job in Iowa when she had the chance.

Aeryn was smiling from ear to ear when she caught sight of Paige in the arrivals section. Smiling and waving her arms frantically, as if Paige somehow wouldn't see her or recognize her otherwise. It was just her quirky sense of humor.

"So, how'd it go?" Aeryn asked, once she finished pulled out of the terminal traffic and onto the interstate.

"Well," Paige said with a nod.

"Yeah? Well as in…"

Paige inhaled deeply, but as silently as she could. "No hassles."

Aeryn smiled good-naturedly and gave Paige's shoulder a quick rub. She knew that she wouldn't get anything further out of Paige in the car. Paige only liked to talk about serious subjects only when she knew that she'd have someone's full attention, and Aeryn's attention needed to be on the road. Aeryn turned on the radio to fill in the space for the trip home.

Aeryn was sitting on the couch, with one leg up on it, when Paige came into the living room. Paige sat next to her and extended an arm, and Aeryn nestled in.

"So, how do you feel?"

"Okay, I guess." Paige furrowed her brow. "A little confused."

"Confused about…" Paige didn't pick up on the thread, so Aeryn continued. "… your prospects in PA?"

"I guess you could say that." She shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I'm just not sure that it would be the right move, right now."

Aeryn stifled a chuckle. Swiveling slightly, to angle herself so that she was facing Paige, she asked, "This is about her, isn't it? Emily."

Paige furrowed her brow. "No," she began before pausing to give it some more thought. "Well, yeah, but… well, not in the way you're thinking."

"In what way, then?" Aeryn asked pointedly.

Paige pulled her knee up to her chest and hugged it there with her arm. "I just assumed that, after everything we'd been through, and after… God, what? 8 years? – I just assumed that Emily would have moved on a long time ago."

"But she hasn't?"

Paige shrugged her shoulders, as if she couldn't believe it either. "Apparently not."

Aeryn sat up and retreated to the armrest, putting some distance between herself and Paige as the reality of the situation hit her. "So," she said, her voice breaking slightly, "this was never about moving closer to Emily." She took a deep breath and tried to get control of her emotions. "This was about moving away from me."

Aeryn wouldn't have been able to move out to Pennsylvania with Paige for at least a couple of years, as she completed her residency. She had spent most of Paige's trip wracking her brain trying to figure out how to make the best of a long-distance relationship.

"Look, Aeryn, I…"

Aeryn shook her head to stop Paige from talking. She took her hand and caressed it. "I know, Paige. You're loyal. And that's" – she turned away from Paige's gaze with a sigh – "That's a noble attribute but… I don't want to be with someone who's only with me out of a sense of duty. I want to be with someone who with me because she wants to be with me."

Paige extended her arm and Aeryn took her up on it, pulling in close once again. Paige kissed the top of her head. "Aeryn, I want you to know that I never lied to you. I never said, 'I love you' without really meaning it."

Aeryn nodded her head against Paige's chest. "I know," she said sadly. Rolling her hands in front of herself, she explained, "You love me, but you're not in love with me."

Paige dipped her head. "It sounds so cliché, when you say it out loud."

"I know. But I know how you feel." Aeryn closed her eyes for a second or two, to get control of the tears. "When I was in high school, I used to sit with my neighbor's dog while she did her shopping on the weekends. The dog was old, and he didn't like to be left alone. I would just sit there and rub his belly" - Aeryn rubbed Paige's stomach - "for hours, sometimes. And, if my neighbor got home while I was rubbing still his belly, he would just lie there and let me, without a whimper or complaint. But as soon as I moved my hand away, he would jump up and run to her." Aeryn inhaled deeply. "He wanted to be with her, but he wasn't going to leave me until I was ready." Aeryn looked at Paige, to see whether or not the story was registering. Paige's eyes told her that it was.

"So, you're saying, I'm that dog?"

"No…" Aeryn laughed softly. "Well, yeah. I guess so, kind of. But what I'm trying to say is..." Aeryn bit her lip and nodded. "I'm ready. You don't have to stick around for my sake."

Paige didn't know what to say, so she just squeezed Aeryn a little tighter and rested her chin on top of Aeryn's head. She could feel Aeryn take a couple of irregular breaths, as though she were sobbing to herself, or trying not to. "Do… do you want to be alone?" she asked tentatively.

Aeryn shook her head. "I'm going to have plenty of time to be alone," she deadpanned. She looked up at Paige. "Sorry – I didn't want to make you feel guilty."

"I'm sorry," Paige said softly.

Aeryn sat up suddenly, thinking about why Paige had asked the question. "Do you want to be alone?"

Paige pulled her back in. "I'm okay."

"Honest?" Aeryn whispered.

"Honest. I've never lied to you."

They spent the night in each other's arms, first on the couch and, later, in their bed. It felt almost like every other night. But each of them knew that their world had changed, forever.