So I managed to be on time this week!

Well here is chapter five, picking up directly from where we left off. I'm hoping this chapter shows a bit more of Emmett and Rosalie, and I'd really like to know what you guys think of them. :)

Huge thank you to those of you who have reviewed, followed and favourited!

Disclaimer: If I owned the rights to Twilight, well, I wouldn't have to write a damn disclaimer every week. So there you go.

Enjoy!

Chapter Five

JPOV

"Jay. We need to talk…"

Shit. Goddamn-fucking-shit.

Emmett grabbed my right hand and pulled me to my feet as I wiped the traitorous tears from my face with my left. Walking in silence back to the house, I trailed behind Emmett and Edward, looking at the dirt track we were walking on. In my periphery, I could see Edward trying to sneak glances at me. I really wanted to return his glance; I wanted to be able to muster up enough energy to give him just one smile that said I was fine. I just didn't have it in me though. Everything that had happened last night had left me emotionally drained, and, as much I hated to admit it, part of me knew that without the medication my doctor had prescribed in my system I was emotionally unstable as well. Most likely explained why I went from normal to angry to a blubbering mess in the space of an hour…

When we reached the house, Emmett stopped on the back porch and said, "wait here," before disappearing through the back door and returning a minute later. Edward and I lent against the railings that separated the porch from the grass and the forest, still not making eye contact, not that it was from lack of him trying. I made it hard by staring intently at the ground, looking up only when I heard the familiar click of a cigarette lighter. Emmett covered the cigarette from the wind and took a long drag, blowing the smoke up into the air. I frowned as I took in the sight. Emmett only smoked when he was feeling particularly stressed.

"So. Why no meds Jasper?" Emmett looked me in the eye and flicked the ash off his cigarette over the porch railing.

I considered answering sarcastically as was typical of me in tense situations, but I thought better of it when I realised Emmett had called me Jasper, not Jay. He rarely ever used my actual name, preferring instead to use the nickname he had given me when I was little, stating at the age of seven that 'Jazz and Rose sounded too the same, and that was just confusing.'

"I dunno." shrugging my shoulders, I broke Emmett's intent gaze.

"Yes you do." Edward stated matter-of-factly from his place beside me.

"So? What's the excuse this time?" Emmett questioned, silently reminding me of the other times I had stopped taking my medication. Those times hadn't worked out so well either.

"I… I just thought I didn't need them anymore okay? I hadn't had a nightmare in about two months; I didn't feel so… sad or anxious all the time. I just… I don't know, I just thought I could get by without them for a bit." I felt like I had disappointed Emmett after all he had done for me and I wrung my hands, trying not to look too pathetic, though I don't think it was working.

"You felt that way because of the medication though Jasper, why do you always do that? You get prescribed something and just when it starts to work, you stop." Emmett's voice was concerned, though I felt like he should be yelling. He was right, I did always ruin whatever progress I was making.

"It's just really hard to know what's me and what's not. It's so fucking confusing Emmett. If I feel happy, I can never tell whether I actually am, or whether the drugs are making me think I am. I don't like it… I feel like I'm losing my mind…" I said surprisingly calmly. Maybe I had cried myself dry or something, because all of a sudden I didn't feel the overwhelming sadness that had been in my mind a couple of minutes ago. This is what I meant when I said I felt like I was losing my mind. My emotions were always running rampant in my head, fighting for the driving position. I knew better than to think the feeling was gone, it was just biding it's time to come back and hit me full force when I least expected it.

"I know Jasper, I know. I'm just worried about you, and don't even start trying to tell me not to be like you usually do. I'm your brother; it's my right to worry about you. Same with Edward here." Emmett gestured to the silent figure that stood on my left. "He is your best friend and I can't stand here idly by until you try to push him away like everyone else. I know you hate hearing this bro, but you need help. We know that, you know that, and you shouldn't be so ashamed to admit it. You have all these people that want to help you Jay, you just have to let us. Mum and Rose included." Emmett spoke evenly and I tried my best to take in what he was saying.

"I know Em, it's just hard…" Sighing, I turned to Edward, "I'm sorry I got mad at you for telling Rose. She would've found out one way or another. That's what she's good at."

"That's okay, I shouldn't have told her anyway, it wasn't my place. You should've been the one to say something." Edward looked guilty, and I couldn't have that.

"No, no, I'm glad you told her. As Emmett said, I… I need help." It was hard to make myself admit it. "I need to get shit out of my head, and apparently I need a bit of a shove."

"As fun as all this is, it's starting to rain again and I've finished my smoke, so I vote we go inside." Emmett stamped out his cigarette on to the porch decking and headed back inside.

Sighing, Edward and I followed suit and made for the back door, though not before I picked up Emmett's burnt out cigarette butt. Putting the butt in the bin under the kitchen sink, I looked at my brother who was digging around in the fridge. "I thought you quit." I didn't like the fact that Emmett smoked, and I hadn't seen him indulge in his vice in months, though he usually didn't do it in front of me.

"Never said that." Emmett stood up and pulled a beer out of the fridge. Taking a swig, he turned and looked at the apparent disapproval on my face. "It's a dirty habit. You shouldn't start. It's really hard to stop."

"Can't be that hard." As strange as it sounds, the banter between us was comforting.

"Says you. Anyway, that was the first one I've had in two days. Be proud of me." Emmett had a shit-eating grin on his face and I couldn't help but laugh. "You staying the night Eddie?"

"Huh?" Edward looked up from his phone in his hand, clearly not following the conversation change.

I laughed at the confused look on his face, "He said are you staying over tonight?"

"Oh, uh, yeah probably. I've got nothing to do at home."

"Alright, sweet. You can borrow some of my clothes if you want a shower." Edward had a tendency to get lost in his own world sometimes, a habit he and I shared.

"Jay, you should probably call Rosie…" Emmett said from his place at the island bench. Along with calling me Jay, Emmett had adopted the habit of calling our sister Rosie, a nickname she hated with a passion. He openly admitted that he only kept doing it because it annoyed her so much.

Making my way up the stairs I told Emmett I would call her after I showered. All I really wanted right now was to have a hot shower to un-kink the muscles in my back after sleeping for so long. Locking the bathroom door behind me out of habit, I stripped off the clothes I had slept in and let the steam from the shower fill the room. I avoided looking in the mirror as I walked past in order not to see the broken mess I knew would be looking back at me, and focused instead on the warm water running over my body, trying to put the negative thoughts out of my head.

After getting dressed in a pair of grey sweats and a long sleeve shirt that was at least a size too big, I went down stairs to retrieve my phone, only to find Emmett and Edward sprawled on the couch watching Harry Potter.

"Really guys? Edward, we watched this yesterday. And Em, you've seen this movie about seven thousand times-"

I collective "shhhhh!" was the only response I got as I walked back to room laughing to myself.

Sprawling myself out on my bed, I scrolled through my phone and pressed the contact for my sister, somewhat dreading the conversation I was about to have. The phone rang twice before Rosalie's voiced answered in a fake professional tone, "Houston sperm bank, you whack it, we pack it. How may I direct your call?"

"Well, I was looking to talk to my sister, but I guess I caught her at work again. I know how she loves that place, if ya know what I mean."

"Hey, what are you tryna say!" Gotcha.

"I win." A running joke between my sister and I was to make the other crack first, and I usually always won. If she were here, she would most definitely smack the grin off my face.

"Dammit." I heard her sigh through the phone. "What's up Jazz?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to apologise for before…" I knew I could talk to Rose about anything and everything, but I still hated admitting to her that I was wrong.

"No need, I know better than anyone that I have a slight tendency to go off at people without actually thinking about what I'm saying. And I really did only ask Edward what was going on because I knew something was up; I should've asked you directly… But enough of that! I have news!" Sometimes I thought my sister and Edward's were secretly related, they both had the uncanny ability to talk at the speed of light and to drop one subject and pick up another as if nothing had changed. Probably why she and Alice got along so well whenever Rose came to visit.

"Good news, or bad news?"

"Well… good news for me, maybe not so much for you…" I could practically hear her grin through the phone and I started to worry what this 'news' might be.

"Okay… Well, hurry up and tell me then."

"Okay!" She sounded like she was gonna burst, "Ya'know that guy I told you about, Peter? He asked me to be his girlfriend." Rose very uncharacteristically giggled through the phone.

"You're right, that wasn't good news for me. Now I have to start thinking of ways to dispose of a body when this Peter guy hurts my baby sister. Though I guess Emmett would help, it's more of a two man job."

"Okay, for starters Jazz, Peter isn't like that. He's sweet and funny and I really like him. So no homicide. Any secondly, I've told you before, I'm not your baby sister. You're a couple of minutes older than me."

"Three minutes, and don't you forget it. Also, I'm taller, so my word is law." The thing I loved about talking to Rose was, even over the phone, we could still torment one another like we used to when we were growing up. To be honest, I missed her so much sometimes.

"Yeah, get fucked, your majesty. Anyway, what's the deal with you?"

"What'd you mean what's the deal with me?"

"Are you dating anyone?" That was unexpected.

"As if I wouldn't tell you if I was Rose."

"I'm not hearing a no Jasper." She said in a singsong voice.

"No, Rosalie. I am not dating anyone. There's no one worth dating here. I mean, there are a few nice girls, but none I'd really want to date. I think I learnt my lesson by dating Jessica anyway."

"The Great Skankini?" It was scary how fast information passed.

"You need to talk to Edward less…"

"Actually Alice told me that. But who said you had to look for a girl? I'm sure there are some fairly good looking guys-"

"I'm not gay Rose!" The fuck had that come from?

"I never said you were, I'm just sayin', it's an option-"

"I'm not gay Rosalie!"

"-I mean, Edward is a fine specimen if I don't say so myself. I wish he wasn't gay, I'd snap him up for myself-"

"Oh, my god! I'm not gay Rose!"

A laugh down the phone line was the only response I got before she said goodnight and hung up, leaving me more than slightly confused.