Eep. It's been while hasn't it? My bad.

I feel like while this chapter doesn't necessarily progress the story massively, I think it's important to see things from Edward's point of view, seeing as he is being affected by these things just as much as Jasper if that makes sense. Also – I tried not to repeat myself too much from Jasper's pov, hence why I skipped over part of the scene. I tried to write it, and frankly it was uninspiring and I didn't get far, so I hope that's okay.

But enough rambling, onwards!

Do I even need to claim I don't own Twilight, I mean really?

Chapter Fifteen

EPOV

It had been nineteen whole days since Jasper had spoken a word to me. I'd counted. Nineteen days since my best friend had kissed me, freaked out and run away. Nineteen days, and I still had no idea how to even start processing anything that had happened.

Everyday I woke up hoping that today might be the day I got an explanation or something, something to help straighten out the clusterfuck that had become my relationship with Jasper. But everyday I was met with the same cold distance as the days before; where instead of seeking me out, he avoided me; instead of looking for me, he looked through me. And everyday I got a little bit angrier.

Why should this be my fault? Why should I be the one feeling guilty? He was the one that didn't have the guts to face what he did. He kissed me. I was perfectly happy ignoring my feelings towards him in order to preserve the friendship that I held so dear. Jasper apparently had no such qualms when it came to blowing a gigantic hole between us, and then running away with his tail between his legs. No, fuck him. I'd spent too many nights not being able to sleep because I missed him so much it made my chest ache. This isn't fair.

Part of me wanted to beg and plead that he talk to me, give me some sign that this could be okay again, but then there was a bigger part of me, a part that had me sitting in my mum's car clutching the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turned white. That part was telling me to march over to Jasper's house and demand an explanation, and/or punch him in the face. After a few minutes of stewing in my own frustration, I finally turned the key in the ignition and make my way down the familiar road to Jasper's house.

He wasn't at school again today, which I know for a fact is because he didn't have the energy to get himself out of the house. He has days like that occasionally, where things get too much and he stays in bed all day in order to try to escape what's going on. Usually they only last a day here and there, but recently he hasn't been at school hardly at all, and the days that has does show, he's so vacant that it can barely be classed as attendance. As much as I am seriously mad at him, a larger part than I would like is really worried about just how much time he's spending at home. I know from past experience that Emmett will turn a blind eye to Jasper having a day off every couple of months or so when he gets like this, but more than that and Em will call in the big guns. Mama Whitlock is awfully persuasive for someone not even living in the same state. So for Jasper to have had this many days out of action, he's either on his deathbed, or not even his mother can get him up. Neither is really an option I want to consider.

In the time it takes me to drive to Jasper's house, I'm past concerned and back to angry. I'm angry that he wont even give me a chance to fix this, I'm angry that he is doing this to himself, and certainly angry at the fact that he was the one to kiss me, leave me fucking breathless and weak-kneed like a pre-teen having their first kiss, only to turn around and ruin any chance we could've ever had of becoming more than friends. I hate the fact that he managed to raise my hopes so much in the space of an hour, only to change his mind and freak out over having kissed me. Or having kissed a guy, I don't know which, and I wish I did, because it's a distinction that would let me know how to feel, whether I should be angry, or fucking furious. Because if it comes to be that Jasper flipped his shit because he kissed a guy, if he really is so homophobic that the thought of him even having a slight attraction to me caused him to act like this, then I really might punch him.

I pull up in front of Jasper's house and park next to Emmett's Wrangler; Jasper's bike is parked in its usual spot in front of the porch, confirming my suspicions that he probably hasn't left the house today. It's just going on six in the afternoon and I can hear the faint muffling of the tv as I step onto the porch and knock three times on the wooden door. Normally I would think nothing of just walking in and making myself at home, as I've done a million times before, but right now I'm slightly anxious about how my presence will be met, so I think knocking is the least I can do.

I'm just about to knock again when Emmett opens the door with a sincere smile on his face, "God am I glad to see you. And since when do you knock? You made me get up for nothing."

"Uh, sorry." Emmett gives me a 'don't worry about it' gesture as I follow him inside.

I must be tenser than I realise, because when we round the corner to the living room Emmett addresses my unspoken question, "Don't worry, he's upstairs. Don't think he's planning on coming down anytime soon."

Emmett and I take a seat, him in his recliner and me on the couch, and he gives me a serious look, one I knew was coming the moment I walked in the door. "What's going on with my brother Ed?"

"I don't know." I replied meekly. It's partly true, I have absolutely no idea what is going on with him as of the past nineteen days since he left my house because he's spent the whole time avoiding me like the plague.

"You must know something. Should I be worried? I feel like I should be worried. I mean- he came home at nearly midnight sporting a pretty nasty black eye that he said he got from some kid that kissed you at a party, and then he wouldn't tell me anything after that. The next day he didn't come out of his room until dinner, and that was only because I went in and got him. He's barely left his room at all since then, only when he's gone to school, and even then he comes straight home, has a shower then goes to his room for the rest of the night. He's not eating, Edward." Emmett's voice sounded exasperated as he recounted Jasper's actions, and I couldn't help but feel guilty for being part of the reason for his concern. "I don't know what to do, usually he pulls himself out of this when things get bad, but this time he's just shutting everyone out, he won't talk to me and he just gets pissy if I try to talk to him about it."

"I really don't know what to say Emmett… I haven't spoken to him in weeks, or rather he hasn't spoken to me in weeks. I've tried, I've tried calling him and talking to him at school, but he openly avoids me." I stared at my hands, unable to meet Emmett's gaze. I felt like I should be able to offer an explanation, or better yet a solution. I wish I could fix everything so that Jasper and I were friends again, and so his brother had no reason to be concerned for him.

"What happened between you two? You're like, two peas in a pod usually, and now you're not even speaking to each other. It's freaking me out a little, to be honest." Emmett ran a hand through his hair and slumped back against his chair. He looked defeated, a look I didn't think was capable of belonging to Emmett – he was indestructible, or so I had thought. Nothing really got to him the way it did to other people, though I got the feeling sitting here with him now, that the maybe he wasn't as stress-free as he made out.

"Well Jasper, he…" I trailed off, unsure of whether I should 'out' Jasper to his brother by telling Emmett that he had kissed he. I wasn't even sure whether or not this was an issue regarding sexuality or not, and because of that I reasoned that it should be up to Jasper to tell Emmett that art of the story

"He what Edward?"

"Uh, nothing. I think I can get this sorted out if he would just talk to me."

"Well, you're welcome to try, he is right upstairs. Dunno how far you'll get, every time I've tried to talk to him I get nothing."

Emmett was right, he was right upstairs, and after all wasn't the reason I came over here in the first place to confront Jasper about all that gone on? Fuck it, at this point I don't think things between us could get any worst, so I really had nothing to lose my march up the stairs and busting into his room, which is exactly what I planned to do.

Each step I took closer to Jasper, the more my anger and hurt came back tenfold. I wanted nothing more than to throw open the door and yell at him, and that desire scared me. I had never wanted to be the one that put Jasper in a hostile position, I was the one that prevented other people from doing this to him, yet here I was, stood outside his bedroom door fists clenched and jaw set.

Fuck it.

~ bfoso ~

Half an hour ago we were on the brink of catastrophe, and now we were laying together on Jasper's bed, with the feeling of his lips still burning on mine. This is insane - it made no logical sense whatsoever, and yet somehow it was the most natural feeling in the world.

It wasn't the first time I had held Jasper in my arms, but as I lay here feeling the rise and fall of his chest against mine and thought over everything that had happened in the last 30 minutes, it felt monumentally different. From this point on, everything would change, and I couldn't bring myself to care. The warmth of his body radiated against me, his arm draped across my torso and his head resting on my shoulder. I could almost feel the calm that had settled upon the room as we lay here in contented silence, neither of us prepared to break the spell we were under. In the dimmed light of the room I could only make out the shadowed shapes of his face, his eyes were closed and a contented look fell over his features. It was a look that was usually fleeting on his face, but right now it looked infinite, as if so long as we stayed like this, he would never have another worry in the world.

How I wished that were true.

As much as I dreaded it, there was a persistent nagging in the far reaches of my mind, the parts that weren't still reeling from his touch, which told me I was treading in dangerous waters here. It wasn't that I didn't love Jasper, because that I could say that I did with absolute truth, but I knew things about him that he trusted me with, and I felt a certain responsibility came with that knowledge, such as being the one he confided in and sort comfort from. I couldn't mess that up for him, not that I had any intention of doing so, but I made a silent promise to myself at that moment that he comes first. Always and no matter what, he comes first.

As I made the vow to myself, Jasper stirred in my arms, both not quite asleep and not quite awake and I heard a faint growl that I could only assume came from his stomach. My suspicion was proven when Jasper untangled himself from me slightly and groaned in annoyance.

"Hungry?" I teased, as he lifted his head from my shoulder, not yet opening his eyes.

"Shuddup, I haven't eaten in a while." He peaked at me through one eye, as unwilling as I was to move from this spot on the bed.

What was meant as teasing on his behalf suddenly had me worried. Emmett had said that Jasper hadn't been leaving his room much these last few weeks, and I was concerned at just how little sustenance Jasper had actually gotten himself during that time.

"How long is a while Jazz?" I sat up fully on the bed, momentarily ignoring Jasper's protests, and looked at him. He looked thinner than usual, and even in the minimal light I could tell that he had heavy circles under his eyes, telling me that he probably hadn't been sleeping too well either. He looked like crap, and I made it my sudden mission to fix that as best I could.

Semi-reluctantly I made the effort to fully untangle myself from Jasper and stand up of the bed, offering my hand out to him. He took it without argument and stood up, allowing me to lead him out of his bedroom and down the stairs towards the kitchen. Jasper followed silently behind me until halfway down the staircase where he stopped dead in his tracks, dropping my head from his grip. I turned to give him a questioning glance and got one word whispered in response.

"Emmett."

For a second I was unsure what he meant until it dawned on me that while I was openly out aloud and proud, the matter of Jasper's newly found sexuality had yet to be discussed, let alone revealed to anyone other than me. The look on Jasper's face was unsure, yet somehow determined, as he passed me on the stairs and made his way to the living room where Emmett was watching TV. I hurried to follow, anxious to know what he was planning, if anything.

"Em?" Emmett looked back and forth between Jasper and I when we entered the room, and a wave of tangible relief washed over his face, probably happy to see that Jasper was out of his room.

"Jay-jay, you're up!"

"Yeah, Edward came into to see me." Jasper's voice sounded hesitant, and while I knew why, Emmett remained confused as to his brother's sudden recovery.

"So, you're okay? I mean, the two of you?" Emmett stood from his chair, and even thought he stood well over six foot, something about him seemed small, as if tenseness and worry he had been carrying had weighed him down.

Jasper looked over his shoulder at me and silently beckoned me to his side. "Yeah, we're okay. Kind of better than ever, actually." A shy smiled played on Jasper's face as he confidently took my hand in his, lacing our fingers together. The contact surprised me at first, but I recovered quickly and squeezed his hand in reassurance, as Emmett looked between the two of us questioningly.

"Wait- are you saying what I think you're saying?" Emmett's brow furrowed and I felt Jasper's grip tense in worry about his older brother's reaction to what he was trying to convey.

"What do you think I'm saying?" Jasper's voice shook ever so slightly, I wouldn't have noticed except for the fact that I was hanging on every word between the twp brothers, wary of the consequences of this revealation.

"You two," Emmett guestured between Jasper and I, "are you like, an item?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess you could say that we are." Jasper looked to me for reassurance, and I did my best to convey how right being with him felt. "Is that okay with-"

Before Jasper could finish his sentence Emmett had the both of us wrapped in his massive embrace, squeezing us together hard enough to break a rib. At Jasper's protest he released us with a massive grin on his face and started laughing. I stood slightly dazed to the side as utter confusion played over Jasper's face.

Emmett finally got ahold of himself after a very confusing minute, and he apologized for the outburst before pulling first me, then Jasper into a normal, non-bone crushing hug. As he pulled back from his little brother in wiped his eyes before finally saying something. "Fucking finally. Damn, I promised myself I wouldn't cry."

"Um, Emmett?" Jasper looked at his brother as if he had sprouted a second head. I understood the feeling. "Care to explain what hell you're talking about?"

"Okay, okay – sorry." He took a seat back in his armchair and Jasper and I followed his lead, taking a seat next to each other on the adjacent couch. "It's just, I mean c'mon. I've been waiting for this for years now. You two took your damn time." As he took a swig of his beer, Emmett continued. "It was kind of obvious to those of us with eyeballs that y'all would end up together, though I had to admit you had me worried these past few weeks, I thought you might've broken up or whatever."

The Emmett I knew and loved was back in full force now, seemingly unfazed by the utter confusion coming from the two of us. Gone was the tense, fretting guy from before I went upstairs. Had I really been that obvious with my affection towards Jasper that Emmett had known?

"Wait, you knew? No, but you couldn't have known, I didn't even know!" Whatever confusion I had, Jasper had three-fold. He seemed utter perplexed with Emmett's claims. To be honest, it was kind of cute.

"That's 'cause you're oblivious to matters of the heart Jay-jay. Cleary, seeing as it took you this long to realise that Eddie here has been smitten since day one." Emmett shook his head at us as I dipped my head in embarrassment as I felt a warm blush creep over my face. Apparently I had been more obvious than I thought.

When I finally did look back at Jasper his eyes were slightly wide and he looked at me questioningly. "Is that true Edward?"

"Maybe somewhat true…"

"How long?" I shook my head in embarrassment, but Jasper refused to let it go. "How long Edward?"

Sighing, I finally gave in. "Since I sat with you in the cafeteria on your first day and you said that Lauren Mallory seemed to be personally trying to combat the dreariness of the town by being loud and peppy. Happy?"

Jasper bit his lip to stop from smiling and looked down at his hands in his lap as I recalled our first meeting, leaving out the part after where I had spent the whole next week after that trying to find excuses to either talk to him or about him. Emmett broke the moment laughing at our awkwardness.

"Ugh, if you two get any sweeter, I'm going to have to brush my teeth. Now, I know I'm supposed to being supportive brother and shit, but the game is on, so I'ma have to make this quick." Emmett turned to us and put on a mock-serious face. "Jasper, if you're gay, bi, whatever, that's awesome, and if any fucker says different they'll have to take it up with me. And Edward, you hurt my brother and I'll hurt you, got it?" I had no doubt that despite his joking nature Emmett was serious about the last part, so I promptly nodded. "Good, now either shuddup or get, I gots me some football to watch."

Jasper and I took the less than subtle hint and left the room, laughing as we went. We were half way to the kitchen when Emmett yelled back to Jasper.

"Jay?"

"Yeah?" Jasper yelled from the other room.

"Yaknow I love you and shit right?"

A grin broke out on Jasper's face as he laughed. "Yeah, I love you to Em."

"Dude, that's so gay."

Jasper and I couldn't keep in our laughter as we gathered up some food in the kitchen, all the while I thanked whoever might be listening that tonight had gone better that I had ever expected. When I glanced over at Jasper, my boyfriend, as he put together sandwiches for the both of us, I couldn't believe just how lucky I was to be here right now. So many things could've gone so wrong between us, between Jasper and Emmett, and as I wrapped my arms around Jasper's waist and placed a kiss on his cheek, I knew that despite everything we still had to go through that we would have each other, and some how it would be okay.

Sooo? Let me know what you think pretty please! The next chapter will move things forward more, I just thought the boys deserved a little bit of fluff after all the angst lately. Oh, and please let me know what you thought of Emmett! xx