Side Story: Shinichi's Dream

"Welcome back, Kudo-kun."

A very familiar girl voice echoed through the ears of the said detective.

Who was it? And where was this?

He was surrounded by blindness. He tried to recall everything that happened before he was trapped in here, but none came up.

"There isn't any abnormalities found in your blood, as well as your cells. The permanent antidote seemed to work perfectly fine on your body."

The same voice echoed again, clearer this time.

This harsh cold tone and the way she said his name– could it be?

Shinichi turned his back to the source of the voice. He was shocked to see her still in the child form, wearing her white lab coat and holding some papers that looked like reports.

Ai?

How come she was a child again? And why did they go back to the last name basis?

The blindness was slowly collapsed only to reveal the Professor's living room. Everything looked normal now except for the heavy silence between the two people in the room.

"You're free to go now, Kudo-kun." Ai smirked as she walked away, back to her underground lab. "Your Angel has been waiting for you."

Even so, Shinichi caught a glimpse of sorrow in her eyes.

"W-Wa…"

He tried to stop her from going further.

"Damn it, Haibara!"

However, another voice stopped her. It was his own voice.

Shinichi turned his head again in confusion. He hadn't said anything yet, so how come did he hear his own voice? Then he found himself standing in front of his very own eyes. He looked so young though, and angry. In that instant, he realized where he was and what this was all about.

Right, this was his own memory of the past from eight years ago. A memory which turned into haunting nightmares for the whole three years of his life– and he had to bear with those countless insomnia nights.

But why did he have this dream again now?

"We're not going to discuss this again, Kudo-kun." He knew Ai didn't show any slightest of her anger when saying this to him even though he could only see her back.

"Why?" He asked, his voice was softened. "Why didn't you give me at least a clue to what is going on in your head?"

Even the most cryptic one was fine with me. His inner self continued the talking.

She chuckled mockingly to no one in particular as she looked at his face from over her shoulder.

"What are you going to do when you knew the inside of my head anyway?" She asked with the coldest tone he had ever heard from her. Her eyes were showing hurt. "I'm not running away from my life again, Kudo-kun. But I'm not going back either."

With that, Ai continued to walk down the stairs to her dark laboratory; leaving the silent young detective on his own.

"No, Ai! Wait!" Shinichi called out to her but not a single sound came up from his throat. He tried to move his legs, but they were glued to the floor.

Damn it, why didn't you stop her again from leaving? He said in his mind to his young self in the dream.

He tried to call her name again, over and over, still with his voiceless voice. Cold sweats were starting to formed on his head; tears were piling up in his eyes, ready to fall anytime soon.

He realized this was only a very old dream– a very old real nightmare that he brought to his dream. Yet he was still terrified of it because he clearly knew…

…that this would be the last time he talked to her.

"Shinichi."

He heard her voice again, so much softer this time. As far as he recalled, no one had ever called his name when he dreamt about this part of the memory– not even her voice.

Then he noticed his little dream world was crumbling apart into the blindness, and not long after, his consciousness jerked him up. He suddenly felt pain on his forehead as if he had banged into something abruptly.

At once he realized he was out from his nightmare.

He raised his head and was relieved upon seeing Ai who was wearing a red yukata, leaning against the desk in front of him while caressing her head in pain. Did his forehead bang into hers?

Even so, he was so much relieved that he unknowingly embraced her tightly the moment she reached her hand to him to wipe his remaining tear.

He knew since day one that he always waking up crying with real tears every time he had this nightmare. However, he only knew it still did affect him that much despite how outdated this damn old scenario from the past about her– about them– was.

Shinichi smiled. He was glad that the first thing he saw after he woke up from the shitty nightmare was her. And he wasn't going to let her go for he knew now she was the reason why he had this dream again after so long.

And it was all because he loved her.

.

.

.

The-nineteen-years-old Shinichi clenched his lips into a thin line as he saw her went down the stairs and gone from his sight completely. His hands were tightened into fists. It never occurred to him that she would choose this path– the path that was so different from his. She was his partner, wasn't she?

If she stayed as Haibara Ai and he was back to being Kudo Shinichi, then how could they ever crossed in each other life?

They could never be more than neighbours now. And it made him lose a part of himself for unknown reason.

He somehow felt betrayed by her decision.

"Are you really okay, Shinichi?" Ran asked him as they walked together to their campus.

It amazed him that in spite of his two years of absence, he was able to graduate just in time and rolled into university. Now that he was back for good, he had also returned to his old daily routines except that he was dating his childhood sweetheart now.

"Ah, yeah. Just a bit tired from finishing a book the whole night." He told her sheepishly, which earned him a scolding from her.

Although he was lying to her. Again.

In fact, he had been sleepless for he didn't know how many days or maybe months, thinking about a particular nine-year-old-girl. While he should be happy about all this– with the organization was no longer exist and his life returned to normal– yet it infuriated him so much when he realized she had been avoiding him ever since the last wrecking conversation they had.

Barging into the Professor's house and (re)befriending the detective boys didn't help much either.

She always had the brain and her own ways to hide from him (without being obvious to the detective boys of course), locking him out from her life. Perhaps from her heart too.

He was already at the point where he had given up persuading her and tried to respect whatever choice she made. As long as she was talking to him again, he was willing to do anything.

But whatever efforts he made, in the end their relationship was going even lower than being normal neighbours.

He chuckled, aghast by how things turned out between them. All he could do now was to glance at her only from afar every time he caught a lock of her strawberry blonde hair by the corner of his eyes.

Ran saw that.

She saw how Shinichi was living his life but he was losing his soul at the same time.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Kudo?" Heiji was irritated by how his best friend was doing these days.

The Osakan detective didn't know his fellow friend was in this hellish state if he didn't come to see him personally. It had been a year since he returned to his original body and he sounded so perfectly fine on all their phone calls; he didn't lose his deduction skills either. However, Heiji noticed it whenever they were on a case together recently, that he had an odd habit to always look at his side or over his shoulder as if he was waiting for some remarks from a certain someone, only to find an empty spot.

He seemed lost after that, although he regained his composure a moment later. Yet he was back to being lost again once he had done with everything. Like how he slept on the floor right now, staring at the high ceiling of his study with his empty dark blue eyes.

Heiji could only stood beside his unmoving body, dismayed by how his friend looked like now. He looked like a living corpse– a soulless living human being to be exact.

"I didn't believe everything Kazuha said about you but it looks like she is right. That brain of yours has exploded and turned you into a mad mystery geek now." He leaned his upper body forward so he could say his words right into Shinichi's face.

He only laughed wryly in reply. Maybe Ran was making a rant to her about his recent oddity.

"And I won't do the case if the corpse was you, you hear that?" Heiji swore he won't even file the case if he was the first person to find his decaying body.

Shinichi was only humming in return. He just knew he won't die that easily just from being lost.

"What would you do if you was me, Hattori?" Shinichi finally replied with words, still staring at the high ceiling.

"What do you mean?"

"What are you going to do if someone close to you, someone who you trust suddenly left you?" He asked with sincerity in his voice. "Someone that is as close as a partner."

Or maybe more. His inner mind unwittingly said to himself.

Heiji sighed in frustration. Who was he talking about?

He answered the dumb question nonetheless.

"If I were you I would still be looking forward to everything ahead of me and walked my life with everything I had." He said with full of certainty in his tone. "Because I trusted my partner so I believed whatever that person did were all in regard of me, including the decision to leave me. Isn't it suppose to be like that, Kudo?"

Silence fell into the room again. Shinichi hadn't said a single word in reply to Heiji's answer. The latter understood well enough that his words had gotten inside his friend's mind now as he saw him smiling– the forced kind of smile at that.

No matter what decisions she made and whatever reasons she had, he had to keep his trust on her, huh?

But still, why did she do this? Shinichi said to the back of his head as he closed his eyes.

Why did she decide to leave him once he returned to being Kudo Shinichi? If there wasn't any chance for them to be partners again, then at least, couldn't they stay as close neighbours?

If what Heiji said was making sense, guessed he had to wait until she was ready to answer those questions on her own will. And he should keep believing that that one day would come because she was his partner after all.

At least that was how he regarded her deep inside his heart.

But before that time came, as he opened his eyes again, he decided that he would take his slow steps to regain his losing soul back bit by bit.

.

.

.

Shinichi let out a sudden unfitting chuckle against her bare shoulder which left Ai with silent questions. He ignored it though. Instead his lips continued tracing her neck as his fingers were playing with her bra strap, loosening it to drape around her upper arm. Even so, he knew she was still waiting for his remark on it.

He was too reluctant to part from her skin, nonetheless, he brought his lips to kiss hers before he pulled out only an inch from her.

"I suddenly recalled a very old memory from the past." He said with a grin.

Ai was discontent with his answer though; it still left her hanging with curiosity. But he didn't let her think further more than that as he kissed her again and messed her mind up with his skin on hers.

On the contrary, he was satisfied with how everything turned for both of them in the end. Perhaps this was his reward for keep trusting her decision all these years– that fate let him met her that day and got them tangled up to each other again in this pleasing mess.

Because if it wasn't for that day, he wouldn't know he was still missing one tiny part of his soul– the one that took him two years to recollect;

and if it wasn't for that day, he wouldn't know his heartbeat was still missing by a half of a millisecond.

Although neither did he or she had ever discussed about what happened between them eight years ago,

but now that she was finally his,

he felt everything was worth it.

Author's note: Sooner or later, I had to bring the story about what happened eight years ago between them, huh? I decided to tell it using Shinichi's POV because I wanted to show how important he regarded Ai once she left him, and in my eyes, he was actually the key point to every decision she made. However, she won't back away once she had decided.

And yeah, Shinichi and Ran didn't break up because he loved Ai or anything. In fact, he just realized his heart was beating for the strawberry blonde after the two met again (like what I wrote in Chapter 1). The detective and the Angel just had their own reasons for their break up which (maybe) won't be explained in the story since it was just a normal couple problems.

I hope this side chapter answered all of your questions about how our favourite ships didn't talk to each other despite being neighbours.

Do not forget to give your comments and reviews. Happy reading!

Disclaimer: All characters of Detective Conan are belong to Aoyama Gosho. I don't own any single of them.