Follow Your Heart – The Cook Chronicles
Chapter 2 – The Newlyweds
Colleen awoke to the pale light of dawn. Waking up early wasn't unusual for her, for it was a familiar habit. What was unusual was her attire.
She wasn't wearing any.
And yet, she wasn't cold. The stove's fire had died out, but underneath the covers there just happened to be another heat source.
A rather large heat source.
Colleen angled her head to look at the sleeping figure beside her. His breathing was deep and regular, his face peaceful in slumber. It was a far cry from the last time she'd watched him sleep, that time he'd been seriously ill with spotted fever. Yet this morning Andrew wasn't sick, nor was he sleeping alone. He was now her husband - her husband! – and Colleen had shared his bed.
Instantly, her body began tingling at the memories of last night. His warm hands, his warm lips, his warm chest pressing against hers, his…
Blushing now, Colleen hastily reminded herself why she had woken up in the first place - she needed to go. A chamber pot was stashed under the bed, but what if Andrew heard her and woke up? Last night they had shared their bodies with each other, but surely this activity was still private!
Carefully withdrawing her hand from his, Colleen slipped quietly from the bed. The cool air nipped at her skin, producing an involuntary shiver. Hastening to her carpet bag, Colleen donned her nightgown and robe, trying her best to ignore the mess on the floor. Though Andrew had thoughtfully draped the wedding dress on the rocking chair in the corner, and a few of his clothes were hung up on the door pegs, the rest of their wedding attire had ended up haphazardly strewn about. It was an embarrassing sight to wake up to, but she didn't have time to straighten up just now; she'd just have to take care of it when she returned.
:
Andrew, meanwhile, had been having the most wonderful dream.
Colleen was coming down the aisle on Sully's arm, an angelic vision in white… the Reverend was joining their hands… Andrew was sliding the ring on her finger… he was kissing her in the church… and it was suddenly darker, though he was still kissing her, more passionately now, and it was warm, delightfully warm… until Colleen pulled away, and it grew colder…
Groggily, Andrew curled up on his side, tugging at the covers in an attempt to restore warmth. The bedsheets rubbed across his bare skin, triggering additional images to flit through his mind.
Most pleasant images indeed.
Her soft skin… her captivating curves… her body beneath his…
The dry, dispassionate medical book had covered the mechanics of the act – the arousal, the coupling, the finish – but by its very nature it had not conveyed – could not possibly convey – the immense pleasure of it all. The pleasure had been expected, and it did not disappoint.
What Andrew had not foreseen was the emotional effect of their physical union. He loved Colleen, yet somehow consummating their marriage vows had managed to deepen his love for her. That she would make herself so vulnerable, trusting him, giving herself to him this way as an expression of her love and commitment - it was a gift. A most precious and remarkable gift that he would honor and cherish forever.
With a low moan, Andrew opened his eyes and found himself facing the bureau and mirror from the night before, instantly calling up the memory of caressing her hair. A smile of complete happiness spread across the young man's face, and he carefully stretched out his nearly six-foot frame to roll over, not wishing to disturb his bride if she was still sleeping.
Colleen wasn't sleeping.
Colleen was gone.
Puzzled, he spotted the door, now open, which he distinctly remembered closing last night to hang up some of his clothes. Off to the outhouse, he surmised, which sounded like a good idea for himself. It would be an embarrassing start to their marriage for his wife – his wife! – to return to a closed door while he was using the chamber pot.
Andrew pushed aside the covers and sat up, taking in the clothes scattered about the room. Normally he would have been appalled by the mess, but this morning it served to return the grin to his face.
Locating his drawers and trousers from the floor, he slipped them back on, as it seemed rather pointless now to dress in the nightshirt packed in his suitcase. Speaking of which… he ought to rekindle the stove, as it would be good to have heat this morning while they dressed.
"Andrew."
Andrew turned away from watching the flames ignite. "Good morning, Mrs. Cook," he said happily, closing the distance between them and taking her hands in his. "Did you sleep well?"
Oddly, she didn't answer him and appeared to be avoiding his gaze, staring intently at his chest.
Frowning, Andrew's clinical instincts took over. He knew Colleen had experienced some discomfort last night - perfectly understandable for her first time and his own lack of experience in such matters - but that shouldn't have disturbed her sleep. Had she discovered something amiss this morning at the outhouse, such as soreness or spotting?
"Colleen, are you alright?"
"I, um…" Colleen was finding it difficult to think straight.
She had seen men shirtless before, of course - Indians, Sully, patients during surgery. But somehow that hadn't prepared her for the blatant display in front of her. The broad expanse of Andrew's skin served as a stark reminder of last night, of how they would be repeating all of that during their upcoming honeymoon, night after night…
Colleen swallowed and forced her gaze upward. Andrew's brown hair was amusingly disheveled and there was a faint hint of facial stubble outlining his jaw and mouth, yet there was also the familiar concern in his soft blue eyes.
"I'm fine," she said finally.
Taking her at her word, Andrew relaxed. "I must look a sight first thing in the morning. You, on the other hand, are quite beautiful."
Colleen knew she should be flattered, as Andrew rarely gave out compliments like that, but his words only made her self-conscious of her current appearance. Her plain robe certainly wasn't anything frilly or fancy to look at, and her hair hadn't been brushed, much less arranged. "Andrew, I'm not dressed yet," she protested.
"It doesn't matter," he replied, raising a hand to caress her cheek. "Dressed… undressed," he said brazenly in a teasing lilt, which brought a fresh flush to Colleen's cheeks. Andrew had never been that forward before - then again, they had done nothing bolder than kiss before last night! "You'll always be beautiful to me, Colleen."
Andrew kissed her then. He only meant for it to be a short, simple kiss of good morning, but found he couldn't help himself. It simply felt too good, and it was cathartic being alone like this, able to kiss her as much as he wanted to. So, the basic kiss immediately morphed into a longer one.
"Andrew…" she admonished again, "that scratches."
Andrew sighed in resignation. Colleen wasn't the only one urging him to knock it off. His body was inexplicably at war with itself, wishing to both continue the amorous behavior and insisting that he had a more urgent matter to attend to right now.
"You're right, Mrs. Cook. We'll need to continue this another time." Andrew searched around for his shirt. He picked it up and slipped it on, commenting, "You should know that normally I'm not this messy, but last night wasn't exactly normal." Andrew cringed as he realized how that sounded, and immediately tried to course correct as he sought out his footwear. "That is, it wasn't my normal routine… what we did together, that was perfectly normal, of course." He sat to quickly don socks and shoes. "And clearly I haven't had my morning coffee yet," he added apologetically. Retreating towards the door, Andrew grabbed his jacket, foregoing the vest and tie. "Excuse me a moment, I just need to use the outhouse."
Colleen stared at the empty doorway, bemused. In the blink of an eye Andrew had gone from bold confidence to his ordinary Andrew self. He hadn't been that self-conscious since their picnic several months ago, and Colleen found it comforting. Marriage may have changed Andrew somewhat, diminishing much of his Boston reserve, but the man she had first fallen in love with was still there.
Underneath all that bare skin.
:
Upon returning to the room, Andrew paused in the doorway. Colleen was currently clad in her unmentionables, standing at the washbowl brushing her teeth. His first instinct was to step away and give Colleen her privacy while she dressed, as he would anyone else, until he remembered that he was entitled to be there and had seen far more of his bride last night. Alas, by leaving the room he had missed an encore of that view in the light of day...
Andrew pushed aside the shameless thought and stepped in, noting that Colleen had gathered up the remaining items from the floor. He focused on retrieving his shaving kit from his suitcase, keeping his eyes off his scantily clad wife as she continued her morning toilette. The sight was far too distracting, and he needed to concentrate if he did not want to slice his neck open with a sharp blade in his hand.
While Andrew was preoccupied at the mirror, Colleen got dressed. After her stockings and boots were on, the young woman donned her petticoat and corset. The latter garment had been a requirement of her college's dress code, and now she was used to putting it on whenever she was about to get on the train and leave home.
Leave home… she was leaving home. She'd done it before, many times in fact, commuting to Denver for school - but this time was different. There weren't any medical schools for women west of the Mississippi River, so this morning with her family would be the last time she'd see them for two years, as the distance was simply too vast to accommodate regular visitations. However, if she let herself think about it this morning she would cry, so while she was dressing, Colleen took furtive peeks at Andrew shaving to distract herself. His shirt was off again, exposing his back to her. The sight brought to mind pleasant thoughts of last night's anatomy lesson… until those thoughts roamed to what had happened after that, of how Andrew had touched her, of how she had touched him… Colleen found her fingers fumbling with the corset and knew she needed to find a much duller distraction - like recalling the speech she'd given at graduation just over a week ago.
Once Andrew had finished shaving and brushing his teeth, he stepped aside to let Colleen – now fully dressed - use the mirror again to arrange her hair. The pair silently exchanged smiles as they switched places.
As he donned a fresh suit on the other side of the bed, Andrew couldn't help but watch as Colleen brushed her hair.
When they had first met two years ago, Colleen was still young enough that she regularly wore her hair down. Once she'd gone off to college, however, she'd mostly been wearing her hair either tied back in a bow or pinned up in a variety of styles. Seeing her hair down again, the memories of that first magical summer came rushing back: Colleen offering her hand when he'd fallen in the street; her assistance and unwavering support as he ran Michaela's clinic; her determination to teach him how to ride a horse. It was the summer when Andrew had first started developing feelings for her, though he hadn't recognized it at the time. And, he supposed, it was why he had an affinity for her hair being down. That first summer with her had been the best summer of his life.
Colleen flipped her hair over to brush the other side and caught Andrew's stare. Self-conscious, her hand froze in midair.
"Oh, I- I apologize. It's just that I seldom see your hair down anymore. It's pretty that way... not to say that I don't find it attractive when you wear it up, which I do find to be attractive as well," he hastily amended, not wishing to insult her more mature look. Andrew smiled politely, but inwardly he was cringing again.
Amused at the return of Andrew's awkwardness, Colleen regained her confidence. "Well, now you'll get to see it down every day… when we're alone." She turned back towards the mirror and resumed brushing.
When we're alone? Andrew found it a thrilling reminder of their new life together as husband and wife, how he'd be waking up with her each day, bedding her each night – well, each night during their honeymoon, that is. Such a decadent schedule would be unwise after that, what with Colleen focused on her studies and the need to minimize the chance of an accidental pregnancy. Still, though their marital relations might not be as frequent as the typical pair of newlyweds who didn't have such concerns, there would be regular opportunity to gather Colleen in his arms and kiss her to his heart's content before peeling off her nightgown…
Andrew groaned softly. These carnal desires kept returning like a persistent fly, and he and Colleen hadn't even had breakfast yet. Was he to be tormented like this the entire trip east while they were cooped up together on the train for days - and nights - on end?
It was going to be a very long trip indeed.
:
The newlyweds finished dressing and packing up their belongings, save for the wedding gown and matching white boots that Colleen had borrowed from her mother. While Colleen remained upstairs to change the linens, Andrew tossed the dirty water from the washbowl and carried their bags downstairs. He also took this opportunity to restock his medical bag and add two new items he normally wouldn't carry around.
The hotel clinic had provided him with what he'd needed last night; however, he would require more for their first nights in Philadelphia. Thus, he entered the storage room to retrieve two small boxes which were kept hidden from public view. They were plainly wrapped in brown paper to further disguise their contents, but he knew which was for his use and which was meant for Colleen's by the shape of each box. He didn't know if Colleen would ever want to try using the woman's product, but he wanted to have it on hand in the event she expressed interest. Knowing her innate curiosity, she was bound to ask about it sooner or later. Andrew left behind more than enough cash to compensate Michaela for the major inconvenience of depleting her supply. She would need to obtain replacement stock, largely necessitated by the girls entertaining across the street.
Reuniting downstairs in the main room, the newlyweds turned to glance around Michaela's clinic one last time. So many memories… many happy outcomes… but some which had been sadly tragic. Mindful that Colleen had many more years of memories of this place than he did, Andrew waited an extra minute before prompting her that it was time to leave.
"We should go, darling."
Colleen looked at him oddly. "What did you say?"
"We should go," he repeated.
"No, I mean after that."
Andrew had a bashful look on his face. He had been attempting to find a term to express his fondness for her and had sifted through several possibilities. He knew that in Boston society couples often used 'dear' or 'my dear', but that didn't feel right to him, as too stuffy and formal. Michaela already used 'sweetheart' with her children, and 'honey' just reminded him of the food. So, like Goldilocks, he had settled upon 'darling' as being just right and had decided to try it out.
"Darling. It, uh, seems appropriate, now that we're married. Do you mind?" he asked worriedly, fearing it had been a mistake.
Far from minding, Colleen was delighted by the idea. Andrew had always found it difficult to share his feelings, and the fact that he now wanted to use a term of endearment made her love him all the more. "I don't mind it at all," she replied tenderly.
Andrew returned her smile and resisted the urge to kiss her again, this last moment alone before they set foot outside, as he didn't want to get carried away again. Instead, he followed Colleen out the door and locked it behind him.
Much to their surprise, Wolf was the first face they encountered. "I hope nothing's wrong," said Andrew as Colleen bent down to retrieve the slip of paper tied around the animal's neck.
"We left Wolf in town to ensure no one disturbed you," she read aloud. "Come to breakfast when you're ready."
Colleen exchanged a self-conscious look with her husband but was glad for her parents' forethought in warding off anyone who might have wanted to partake in a frolicsome shivaree.
"I didn't see him when I went out earlier… he must have been off getting his breakfast," remarked Andrew good-naturedly, also relieved that the family pet had been on sentry duty.
The threesome headed around the corner towards the livery. Robert E was just finishing hitching up the buggy for them, and when he spotted the young couple, he broke into a grin. "Mornin', folks. I hope you had a good night's sleep."
"Good morning, Robert E," said Andrew. "It's a beautiful day." He hoped that and his smile was sufficient enough to answer the smithy's query, as the sky was still overcast with clouds.
Andrew loaded up the buggy with their belongings and assisted Colleen before climbing up to join to her. He took up the reins, but Colleen placed a hand on his arm. "I think Wolf deserves a rest after taking care of us last night, don't you?"
Andrew caught her meaning. "Absolutely."
Colleen called out, "Wolf? Come here boy."
Wolf didn't need to be asked twice. He leapt into the buggy, prompting laughter from his human companions, and Andrew signaled the horse to pull forward.
Robert E chuckled to himself as he watched the young newlyweds depart. The Cooks weren't the only ones who were in good spirits this fine day. He was still on cloud nine from yesterday's news that his own wife was expecting a baby.
:
That morning was a merry one at the Sully homestead. Colleen and Andrew opened their wedding presents with 'help' from Katie, whose birthday they would be missing. Some of the smaller items they would take with them immediately, such as the framed photo of the family from Brian. Other gifts and personal effects they would need to have shipped later, since they didn't know where they would be living just yet beyond their honeymoon stay at the Liberty Hotel. Finding a permanent address would be one of Andrew's responsibilities once they reached Philadelphia.
Matthew watched his sister and brother-in-law open their gifts with a touch of melancholy. He was happy for them, naturally, but it was a fresh reminder of his own unfilled dreams of having a family. First Ingrid had died, then Emma had left… he wondered, not for the first time, what might have been with Emma. He missed not having her around to talk to. Of course, he had his family to talk to, and the guys around town like Daniel and Robert E, but it wasn't the same. Now she was off somewhere with Gilda St. Claire… and he had encouraged her to go. It had seemed the right thing to do at the time, but there had been times since when he wondered if it hadn't been a huge mistake…
Michaela kept herself busy this morning, trying not to think about Colleen's imminent departure. While immensely happy and proud that her adopted daughter was fulfilling her dream, she would miss the young woman tremendously, having been part of her life for six years. Not to mention she was leaving as a married woman… though that conversation would have to wait until they could sneak a moment alone at the train station. So, during breakfast, Michaela encouraged Brian's chatter about the Constitutional Convention and General Washington crossing the Delaware before taking up paper and pencil to record the wedding gifts and their givers for the sending of thank you notes.
"Hate to break up this little party but Colleen and Andrew have a train to catch," Sully announced after another check of the clock on the mantle. That produced a scramble to gather on hats, coats and shawls while Sully hitched up the family wagon, already loaded with Colleen's trunk and a crate of Andrew's things. Colleen and Andrew took the buggy to return to Robert E's. Sully, Michaela, Brian, Katie and Wolf drove in the wagon with Colleen and Andrew's baggage, with Matthew accompanying them astride his horse Scout.
:
Once at the train station, Colleen turned to her husband. "I need to send some telegrams."
"Of course, darling," Andrew replied. He paused to gaze lovingly at her, reluctant to be parted even a short time, before dutifully turning away to verify the loading of their heavier luggage in the freight car.
Colleen approached the ticket window. "Good morning, Horace."
"' Morning, Colleen. Or should I say, Mrs. Cook?"
Colleen smiled at Horace's kind greeting. The man had had a rough time, his own marriage dissolved, and his child living in another city. She hoped that he would find happiness again.
"Horace, I need to send some telegrams to Philadelphia." She handed him her messages, already composed.
"Let's see here," he replied, checking the slips of paper. "This one's to the Woman's Medical College… your new name… all right, and this one's for the boarding house, 'can no longer use room'… oh, do you know where you're gonna be living then?"
"Not yet. Maybe we'll find something during our honeymoon," she replied, fishing money out of her purse to pay for the wires.
"Well, I wish you luck with that, and with medical school."
"Thanks, Horace. I'll miss you." Fondly, Colleen placed her hand on his. Not only had the lanky telegraph operator been a frequent patient at the clinic, but he had remained in quarantine with the Cooper children when Matthew had typhus, helping to calm an anxious Colleen.
"I'll miss you, too, Colleen. I'll miss you both."
Knowing there were people in line behind her, Colleen turned and looked for her mother. She spotted Dr. Mike holding Katie and walked over for a final, private conversation.
The two women had spoken the night before the wedding. Colleen had already read – and reread many times over - the clinical description of conjugal relations, and years ago her grandmother had given her some basic information about her wifely duty, too, so Colleen hadn't sought knowledge about what to do. But she still had some butterflies at the thought of being intimate and had gone to her mother for reassurance.
"What's it like?" Colleen asked.
"Being with a man?" Michaela sighed, searching for how to respond to that. One thing she knew for sure – it wasn't like brushing your teeth! Then again, for Myra, that was exactly what it had become like… a chore. A duty. That's how Elizabeth Quinn had felt about it, too. And yet Dorothy and Grace had disagreed. Clearly, each woman's experience was different. Michaela could only share how it felt for her, and hope that Colleen's experience with Andrew would fall along similar lines.
"It can be many different things, Colleen. It can be hot like a fever… or cozy like a warm blanket… it can feel like a giant wave crashing over you… It can even be comical at times, when you get twisted up in the sheets," Michaela added lightly as Colleen listened, captivated. "But truly, it is unlike anything else to express your love for one another that way."
Colleen nodded and fiddled with her hands.
Machala smoothed Colleen's hair. "Are you nervous?"
"A little."
"It's perfectly natural to be nervous the first time. I certainly was."
"Really?"
"Oh, yes. Horribly nervous. But I talked with Dorothy, and then when it was time Sully helped put me at ease," she said with a sly smile of remembrance.
"But Andrew's never been married."
"Sully said they'll have a talk tomorrow. You know, I wouldn't be surprised if Andrew's more nervous than you are."
"More nervous?" Colleen found that hard to believe.
"Well, if I'm not mistaken, it will be his first time, too. And he might be worried about hurting you, since your body won't be used to how… how it feels. But no matter which of you is more nervous about it, I'm sure your love for each other will help you through it. That's what marriage is all about, Colleen - loving and helping one another. Your love will show you the way."
Although the activity around the train diverted people's attentions, Colleen still spoke softly. "You were right, Ma. It hurt a little bit."
Michaela rubbed Colleen's arm in sympathy. "Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry. It should be easier next time."
"Ma… the rest of it… I didn't know that it would feel so… so nice," Colleen said in wonder. Nice was completely inadequate a word for it, but admitting to anything more than that seemed scandalous, and she knew her mother would understand what she meant.
Michaela smiled, knowing just what her daughter meant. "I'm pleased to hear you find it agreeable, Colleen. I hope you have many more 'nice' moments on your honeymoon."
"Me, too." Colleen giggled.
Michaela smiled warmly at her daughter, and the pair embraced.
:
During Colleen's talk with Michaela, Andrew was having his own side conversation with Sully.
Yesterday, before changing into his wedding attire at the clinic, Sully had stopped by the boarding house at Andrew's request.
"Sully, thank you for coming."
"What's on your mind, Andrew?" Sully asked, as if he didn't know.
"I was hoping I could ask your advice. Regarding…" Andrew hesitated. This wasn't an easy request to begin with, and it didn't help that this was Colleen's own father – but he'd come to respect and trust Sully, and the older man had been through this twice before, making him, in Andrew's eyes, the perfect source. "Tonight."
Sully's opinion of the young doctor rose. It was rare for a man to admit to their inexperience, let alone seek advice about it. Sully was impressed that Andrew wanted to do right by his daughter.
"Best thing to do is follow her lead."
"Follow her lead?"
"I know you're the one who's supposed to be leadin' things, but for her sake, you want to be doin' as much followin' as you are leadin'. Just pay attention to what she says and what she does, and let it guide you."
Andrew gave a nod that he understood. When Sully remained silent, he prompted, "Anything else?"
Sully shrugged. "You're a doctor. I figure you know the rest. 'Sides, the explorin' is half the fun."
"What's the other half?" Andrew blurted without thinking. At the mountain man's expression, Andrew felt sheepish. "Oh, uh… yes. Of course."
"Sully, I want to thank you for your advice," Andrew said at the depot. "It was most helpful and… productive." He pursed his lips as if debating whether or not he should say anything else.
Sully sensed the younger man's unease. "But?"
Andrew glanced around and lowered his voice even more. "The urge. I thought it would have subsided this morning, now that we… but it hasn't. I can't stop thinking about it."
Sully smirked and clapped the younger man on the shoulder. "Trust me, Andrew, the time to fret is when it's been too long since you've thought about it." He glanced over to where his wife and daughters were huddled. Colleen was giggling, and he watched the women embrace. "Take good care of her, Andrew."
"I will, Sully." The men shook hands.
WHOO-WHOO signaled the train, calling everyone's attention that it was time to begin boarding.
Everyone knew it would likely be two years before the couple would be able to return, so a sizable crowd was gathering around the platform to see them off. Even Preston came, though he hung back unnoticed in the shadow of the livery while everyone else's attention was on the train.
He didn't know how to say goodbye. He didn't want to say goodbye. And he definitely shouldn't be feeling this emotional about it, as Andrew had been his employee, nothing more… but if he was being honest with himself, Andrew hadn't been a mere employee for some time. Andrew had been a companion, a friend, the only person in town Preston felt comfortable confiding in and - in the wake of the diphtheria epidemic - someone he literally owed his life to.
Thus, Preston felt bad about having skipped the wedding, having followed with some amusement the couple's prolonged dance around one another. But Lodges didn't have time for sentimentality when dealing with a crisis. Ever forward, it was the Lodge way… though from where Preston stood, Andrew appeared to be the one moving forward with his life, taking a wife and setting out for new opportunities, while he himself was… well, dammit, was getting nowhere, with nothing to show for his three years of effort, a Sisyphus returned to the bottom of the hill.
He needed a drink.
Preston took a last look at the well-wishers gathering around the train, Andrew no longer visible from his vantage point. "Good luck, my friend," he said quietly into the air before heading off towards the saloon.
:
Grace hurried up to the platform where Colleen and Andrew were preparing to say their final goodbyes to the family. "For your trip," she announced, handing a small bundle to Colleen. "Don't eat 'em all at once." The unmistakable smell of freshly baked oatmeal cookies waffled from within.
Colleen beamed and gave the woman a warm hug. "Thanks, Grace."
"Yes, thank you, Grace, for all you have done for us," said Andrew, offering his own hug. The picnic lunch which had reignited the spark between he and Colleen a few months ago would not have been possible without Grace's cooking.
"Any time," she replied cheerfully, happy to have done her part to bring the two lovebirds together.
Robert E stood beside his wife, offering a handshake to Andrew and a hug for Colleen. "Have a safe trip. Gonna miss ya both."
Andrew next shook Matthew's hand before Mathew unexpectedly brought him in for a friendly embrace. Such demonstrations of affection were not part of the Cook family makeup, but the Sully-Quinn-Cooper family had no such reservations.
"Take care, brother," said Matthew, "and keep her safe for me."
"I will."
The handshake and hug were repeated with Brian. "Thanks for saving Ma," said the teenager, catching Andrew off guard. Of course, that would be on Brian's mind. If it hadn't been for Andrew (and the quick actions of Hank and Cloud Dancing in bringing Michaela to him), the Cooper siblings would have lost another mother.
"You're welcome, Brian. Take care."
Andrew and Sully shook hands again, though no words were spoken. They'd already said all that they needed to say.
Andrew reached Michaela, holding Katie. "Bye-bye, Katie," he said sweetly to the little girl.
"Bye-bye, Dew."
Andrew hesitated as he stood before the woman who had taught him so much about medicine and what being a doctor truly meant. Perhaps the most important lesson Michaela had taught Andrew was how to stick up for what you believe in. It wasn't always a straightforward matter of diagnosing a problem and treating it. Sometimes it meant going with your gut instinct despite what others said – even if the other was a colleague - or contrary to what traditional medical science deemed appropriate. He would be forever grateful to her, both professionally and personally.
Andrew removed his hat and looked down at it in his hand, searching for the words to tell Michaela what she meant to him.
Michaela knew how he felt. Andrew had come to her two years ago fresh out of medical school, an eager diamond in the rough, full of book knowledge, talent and promise. They'd had their share of disagreements and awkward situations, but they had become good friends as well as colleagues. And now that they were family, Andrew was almost like another adopted son.
The only way she was going to get through this was to keep it professional.
"Andrew… thank you for all the help you've given me at the clinic. I don't know how I would have managed that first year with Katie if you hadn't decided to stay, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate all the other times you were there for me… when I most needed it."
Andrew simply nodded, knowing all too well what she meant by most needed. When her sister lay dying. When she'd suffered a miscarriage. When she'd been shot.
Michaela continued, "I know you'll do well in Philadelphia. And, um, if you ever need a consult, I'm just a telegram away."
Andrew put his hand on her arm in appreciation. He didn't want to stumble with his speech again as he had with Colleen earlier, so he kept it simple. "Thank you, Michaela, for everything. And you have my word, Colleen will earn her medical degree."
Michaela nodded, grateful for his reassurance. Since they were now family, he leaned down for a quick peck on the cheek before stepping aside to let Colleen have her turn saying goodbye.
Saying goodbye was another familiar routine for Colleen, as she'd done it often enough these past two years every time she left to return to college in Denver. But this goodbye was different - it would be the last one for a long time. Thus, Colleen took her time with these final farewells, savoring these last moments with her family.
She tried to reassure her older brother. "You don't have to worry about me anymore, Matthew. I have Andrew now."
He shook his head. "No way. I'll always worry about my little sister," he replied, hugging her. "Love ya."
"Love you."
She stepped in front of her little brother, who wasn't so little anymore in height. Only the heal on her boots kept her an inch taller - for the time being. "I'll make sure Ma keeps sending you the Gazette, so you know what's going on," said Brian. "And I'll watch out for Katie, too."
"You'd better." They embraced tightly. "I love you, Brian."
"I love you, Colleen."
Next came Sully. "Don't you worry," he said. "The time will go by fast, and you and Andrew will be back here in no time." He wrapped his arms around her for a hug.
"Thanks, Pa. I love you."
"Love you, Colleen."
Michaela handed Katie to Colleen one final time. "'Leen go," said Katie, familiar with this ritual yet too young to understand how long this separation would last.
"Yes, Katie. I have to go."
"Bye-bye."
Katie's simple words proved to be Colleen's undoing, and the tears began to form as Sully took the child out of her hands.
WHOO! WHOO-WHOO!
"All aboard!" came the distinctive call, along with the clanging of the bell, signaling the train's immediate departure.
"I love you, Ma!" Colleen cried as they embraced. There wasn't time to say anything else, but there was no need. Despite the rough patch they had experienced this past week, love would always be the most important thing between them, the most important thing to say.
"I love you, too, sweetheart."
Mother and daughter parted, and Colleen hurried to a waiting Andrew. He helped Colleen step on the train and climbed up himself – the final passengers to board.
The great locomotive began pulling out of the station, spewing smoke as it slowly gathered speed. The newlyweds waved goodbye to Colorado Springs, to the little frontier town that meant so much to them.
A new adventure awaited.
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Author's Notes:
-We saw the town outhouse once, during season 3's "Fathers and Sons," when Hank and Jake are playing practical jokes on one another. It appeared to be located behind Jake's barbershop and was presumably rebuilt.
-Though "contraception" and "birth control" were not yet part of the vernacular, products to prevent pregnancy existed in the Victorian era (though the show managed to avoid the subject, my personal head-canon counts Michaela's blink-and-you-miss-it "things for Myra" in season 2's "Where the Heart Is" as an oblique reference). Rubber condoms date to 1855. Sponges and an early version of the diaphragm called a "womb veil" (1863) were options for women. I felt contraception an appropriate choice for the scientifically-minded Andrew - and from a narrative standpoint, it's more interesting than simply saying "they were careful." You'll see why in a later chapter.
-If a portion of this chapter sounds familiar, it's because I used the Colleen-Michaela discussion as the core of a one-shot, "The Night Before". I told you I've been working on this story a long time!