A/N – Thanks again for your patience. Lately I've been more distracted than usual. I took a vacation (my first since the pandemic began!) to visit family, and no sooner did I get back than I had to serve jury duty. I ended up being sworn in as juror #6 for a trial. The judge was ultimately forced to declare a mistrial as we could not reach a unanimous verdict.
Another part of the delay is that this chapter wasn't in my original draft (in other words, before I could revise & edit it, I had to create it first!). I hope future chapters don't take as long to get out, but I make no promises.
I now return you to your irregularly scheduled programming, the story you came to read…
Follow Your Heart – The Cook Chronicles
Chapter 9 – Wishing and Hoping
August 17, 1873
Dear Father and Mother,
Though the season is not yet officially over, I feel confident in stating that a summer in Philadelphia does not compare favorably to one in Boston or Colorado Springs. The mixture of humidity with heat is unpleasant at best, potentially fatal at worst. It has been exactly eighty years since this city's yellow fever epidemic, and my colleagues tell me that no doctor here breathes easy until the weather cools and the danger has passed. I can only hope that both it and the national cholera outbreak continue to remain distant threats.
You should know that I shared Mother's affliction with Colleen. She expressed nothing but empathy and concern, as is her nature. We both send you good wishes for your birthday next week.
Colleen's birthday is October 14. She will be nineteen this year. When I put it to paper it sounds young but to be honest, I hardly notice the difference in our ages. More often I am aware of the difference in our educational levels (professor versus matriculant), and in our divergent backgrounds (city versus frontier).
It will hearten you to learn that Colleen is enamored by city life. In fact, I would not be surprised if she were amiable to the idea of settling down in Boston one day rather than C.S. I've not yet discussed it with her, however, as it feels premature to do so. I only need to look in the mirror for a perfect example of plans changing.
Andrew
:
September 7, 1873
Dear Andrew,
Thank you for your birthday wishes. As always, your father treated me to dinner and cream pie at the Parker House and an orchestral performance at the Music Hall. The program this year was Mozart's Symphony No. 34 and Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 3.
I am gratified to learn of Colleen's reaction to my defect. It is a relief to know that she will not expect me to engage in extended conversation when we meet this December.
It pleases your father and I no end to learn that you may well be coming home for good at the end of your stay in Philadelphia. I understand your caution that matters are not yet settled in that regard, yet I cannot help but hope for such an outcome, and the future that might hold.
I received a letter from my brother George, responding to my own letter informing him of your news and Mrs. Quinn's forthcoming reception. He offered his congratulations but did not commit to attending the event. As one who knows well the uncomfortable stares of others it would not surprise me if your uncle chose to offer his regrets. His writing is less legible due to the tremors, and he admits as much, saying it is only a matter of time before he will require someone to take dictation. Nevertheless, it sounds as though he is making the most of his life in Saratoga. He maintains a regular correspondence with Dr. Charcot and has befriended several of the physicians in residence, serving as an unofficial consultant.
Mother
:
September 14, 1873
Dear Ma,
Andrew read about General Custer fighting the Indians in Montana near the Tongue River. Isn't that where Cloud Dancing goes when he's not in C.S.? We both hope he's all right.
I didn't realize the term was so short when you were in medical school. You talked so much about being there (here) that I thought it was a lot longer.
You were right – the heat was getting to me. I passed my Chemistry test with a 93. I did even better in my other classes.
It's kind of strange, thinking about when I was younger and trying to make friends. A lot of the girls say the same, that they felt left out growing up, that they didn't fit in because they liked science or because they wanted to become a doctor. It's almost like a different life the way things were before. Now there are so many of us, all with similar dreams. Even so, I still think of Becky sometimes, and how I'd be writing to her also, if she hadn't died.
Andrew and I are happy to hear Reverend Johnson is learning to read again, and that he and M.C. might start courting.
I don't think I've written yet about Reverend Greer, the pastor at St. George's Church. He's older with gray hair and glasses. He's nice but his sermons can be long. He's married. Mrs. Greer runs the ladies' auxiliary. My first time there she asked if I'd be joining, and I told her I wouldn't have time due to medical school. She looked confused, looking back and forth at Andrew and me before saying, "Oh, I see." She still looks at me once and a while and shakes her head. I know what she's thinking even though she doesn't say it. She only looks at me this way because the other girls aren't married. I wish people didn't judge other people just because they don't do what everybody expects them to do. Anyway, most of the girls from school go to this church, except the ones who are Quakers, like Fanny. Deborah also goes to a separate church; she says she doesn't mind, that it wouldn't feel right to her to go to a white church. I got to meet her pastor one day while I was on my way to the park. He and his wife are very nice and kind.
Please give Katie a hug from me and tell her that her big sister loves her and misses her. I miss everyone, but I look at the family photo from Brian and tell myself it's only temporary.
All my love,
Colleen
:
Late one afternoon Colleen received a telegram and shared its contents with Amanda, who was preparing dinner. "It's from Grandma, a reminder that she's coming for my birthday."
"Your birthday? I suppose she'll be taking you someplace fancy for dinner?"
"I don't know. We always celebrated with dinner and cake at home. Except Katie's first birthday. That was in the meadow." Colleen recalled that happy time, before all the trouble started – the riot, the raids, the worry, the deception… The family had managed to reunite at Thanksgiving, thanks to Daniel's resourcefulness, and then came the pardon for Sully right before Christmas. But we won't be together this year… or next, Colleen thought forlornly. The round-trip travel from Philadelphia would take too long.
Amanda noticed the far away expression on her tenant's face and guessed at the cause. "Feeling a little homesick?"
"I just remembered how long it will be before I see my family again."
"At least you can still look forward to that," the older woman reminded her.
Colleen was mortified at her insensitivity. "Oh, Amanda, I'm sorry… you don't even see your sister?" She knew the women kept up a regular correspondence but didn't know how often they saw each other in person.
"I couldn't possibly leave Dr. Cleveland. Between you and me, she takes on too much. Running the college, and teaching, and seeing patients, all with a husband and child to care for…" Amanda shook her head. "I fear she's working herself into an early grave. Oh, I shouldn't be such a chatterbox, I didn't mean to worry you so," she added off Colleen's alarmed look. "Tell me, what type of cake do you like?"
"Chocolate. But you don't need to-"
"Nonsense. It will be my present to you. If you end up going out with your grandmother, you can bring her back home for dessert." With a satisfied smile Amanda returned to her cooking, leaving a contemplative Colleen to try to get some studying in at the dining table before supper.
Sometime later Andrew arrived home from the hospital and Colleen took a break from studying to greet her husband. Immediately they headed upstairs to have a few minutes to themselves before dinner with Amanda. The time allowed Andrew to unwind a bit from any stresses of the day, shifting from his dual role of doctor/professor to that of husband. As he shrugged out of his jacket and hung it up, Colleen shared her news.
"She certainly is generous with her time, coming to see you again so soon," he remarked, joining her in their usual seats on the edge of the bed. "Since we're on the subject, is there anything in particular you want for your birthday?"
Colleen had her answer ready. She felt like Andrew had done so much for her already – giving up his practice in Colorado Springs, helping to pay her tuition and giving her an allowance, doing everything he could to ensure she earned her degree – that to ask for a gift seemed greedy. And, in truth, there wasn't anything she wanted – nothing that would fit into a package, at any rate. "Just a chocolate cake. Amanda said she'd make one and it would be her gift to me."
"There's nothing special I can get you?"
I wish you could. Because what I want most is to go home for the day, just for the day, to be with my family. But that's impossible. "No, really, there's nothing special."
"Well, good. I mean, I had something in mind, if you didn't have a preference. I thought we could go to a concert. The symphony, to be precise."
Colleen's face lit up in excitement. That sounded so very grown up, so sophisticated… so Boston. "The symphony?" she repeated breathlessly.
"It's how my mother likes to celebrate her birthday, and I thought you might enjoy it, too. If you like the idea, I could get tickets for a date after the fourteenth, so you won't miss time with your grandmother."
"That sounds wonderful, Andrew. I'd love to go." She sensed an opportunity to ask more about his life before she'd met him. "Did you go to the symphony a lot when you were in Boston?"
"Not as often as my parents did. I was in school much of the time," he explained, a small, lopsided smile emerging from the memory. "When I was younger, my mother insisted that I take piano lessons. She plays, and I think she might have been secretly hoping I'd become a concert pianist. One time when I was practicing, she asked if I enjoyed the piece I was playing. I told her I liked listening to the music more than I did playing it. So, we made a deal. She agreed I could stop the lessons if I promised to attend concerts regularly when I was old enough. Even when I was residing in the Harvard dormitory, Mother insisted I make time to attend if it was a noteworthy orchestra or composition to be played. There were times I would have preferred to have been studying, but other times I found it a welcome respite."
Colleen smiled at the story, happy to have this window into his childhood. Andrew seldom talked about himself, so that on the rare occasion when he did, it was something to be treasured. "I didn't know you played the piano."
"Not really," he scoffed, spreading his hands and looking down at them self-consciously. "I've been out of practice too long. Actually, I much prefer using my hands in other ways," he hinted, reaching one hand up to caress her cheek. His gaze darted to her mouth, and he leaned forward. Colleen did the same, their lips meeting in a tender exchange of affection. "Mmm… that's one of my favorites. Another is using them to eat. We should go down before Amanda comes up looking for us."
:
Autumn had begun to make its presence felt by mid-October. The air no longer stuck to the skin, and some of the leaves had started to change color, lending a shimmer of yellow and gold to the city environs.
On the day of her nineteenth birthday, Colleen did her best to concentrate. It was Tuesday - a school day - but her grandmother was coming! If she couldn't be with her immediate family, Elizabeth Quinn was the next best thing.
A card had arrived by mail two days before (sent early to compensate for any train delays). On the front was an image of a pretty bouquet of flowers and the words Best Wishes on Your Birthday. The personal note inside was penned in Dr. Mike's fine script: Colleen - We love you very much and are so proud of you! Happy birthday. Colleen displayed it on the dresser, next to the family photo Brian had given her as a wedding present.
Picking up the frame and staring at it, she couldn't help but wonder how much taller Brian had grown, how much bigger Katie had become. Katie had quickly remembered her big sister all the previous times Colleen had come home from college, but would the young girl still know who she was after a full two years apart? It saddened her to think Katie would find her a stranger, so Colleen set the picture down. There wasn't any use in crying about it. She had had to leave home to pursue her dream, there wasn't any other way. She needed to stay focused and remember that it would all be worth it in the end…
A cadaver was waiting in the Dissection lab after her Physiology class with Dr. Taylor. It was easy to get immersed in Andrew's demonstrations – no matter how many times she'd assisted Dr. Mike with a surgery, it was always fascinating to see the layers of skin tissue pulled away, exposing the inner workings of the human body - even if many of those workings were still a mystery. What was the appendix for, anyway? Why were there two kidneys when there was only one gallbladder, pancreas, and spleen? How could people have different skin colors, yet the blood was red for all?
Andrew became so involved with his demonstration that the time flew by, and Lizzie Bertolet came in to let him know that he and Colleen had a visitor downstairs waiting to see them. Andrew exchanged a puzzled look with his wife, as they had thought they'd be picking up Elizabeth from the station as before.
"Oh, uh, well, class dismissed." The girls hurried out, save Colleen, Lizzie, and a few other second-year students who were patiently waiting in the hallway to have their turn. Cadavers were a priceless commodity (and their odor became worse as time went on), so the students took advantage of working on them whenever they could.
Andrew set the instruments down and stepped away from the table. "Don't wait for me to clean up," he instructed Colleen. "Go downstairs. I'll be down in a minute."
Colleen favored him with a delighted smile of appreciation, then rushed out the door after her classmates. She made a quick stop at the cloakroom to check that she was presentable before hurrying back out to the lobby and…
"Matthew? Sully!" Colleen rushed to her brother's arms, hugging him fiercely, half laughing, half crying.
"Hey, little sister," he responded. Both he and Sully were dressed smartly in their city attire to blend in better with their surroundings, observing the 'When in Rome' philosophy. "Happy birthday."
"I can't believe you're here. It's like you read my mind." She pulled away to give her adoptive father a hug. "Pa."
"Happy birthday, Colleen."
"Did Ma and Brian and Katie come, too?" she asked eagerly.
"Your Ma wanted to come but Katie's not ready to travel yet without diapers, and Brian stayed to be the man of the house."
"Is there a hug for me, too?" Elizabeth had been observing the little reunion from just outside Amanda's office door, letting Matthew and Sully greet Colleen first.
"Of course, Grandma." Colleen gave her a quick embrace. "Why didn't you wait at the station?"
"I know how busy you and Andrew are, and your father and brother wanted to spend as much time with you as possible… even if that means in front of an audience." Elizabeth gave a nod of her head, and Colleen turned to see many of her classmates watching the family reunion from the vicinity of the library entrance. Having been noticed, the girls giggled and went inside, chatting excitedly about Colleen's good-looking visitors.
"How long are you staying?"
"'Fraid it's just for the day. I'm headin' to Washington tomorrow to meet with Senator Dinston and some other politicians, give 'em a report on my findings so far, see if we can't convince a few more congressmen to come out and visit."
"And I figured if Sully was comin' all this way, I'd join him and see for myself that Andrew's been treatin' you right," Matthew added teasingly. "Hey, Andrew," he greeted as the man in question approached.
"Matthew. Sully." Andrew's tone was half-surprised, half-welcoming, as the men shook hands warmly. "Mrs. Quinn. This is quite the surprise. You came all this way just for Colleen's birthday?"
"Not exactly. I'll tell you the full story on our way to lunch… unless you're needed here." Sully knew from personal experience how busy doctors were.
"No, since we were expecting Mrs. Quinn, I've already arranged to be free for lunch today," Andrew explained. "I'll need to return in an hour, but Colleen will be free to visit for a few hours until her next class."
"That will work out perfectly," said Elizabeth. "While the two of you are busy later on, we'll have a chance to return to the hotel to freshen up before dinner."
"Grandma, Amanda didn't know if you were taking us out tonight or not. We should tell her before we leave."
"I wouldn't dream of leaving out Amanda. I've already spoken with her, and made all the arrangements," she said cheerily before they stepped into the waiting carriage.
As promised, Sully explained during their carriage ride how he and Matthew came to be in town for Colleen's birthday. When Senator Dinston had requested Sully's presence in Washington, Michaela had noticed how close the timing was to Colleen's birthday, and that her last letter talked about missing everyone. It was Michaela's idea for Sully to stop in Philadelphia first before continuing to Washington, thanks to a new rail connection between the two cities. Brian suggested making it a surprise visit. Matthew decided to join the trip for a chance to visit with Colleen, see Independence Hall, and support Sully's efforts at the capital. After that, it was a matter of informing Elizabeth, so she could coordinate her arrival from Boston with the men's travel from Colorado.
Talk at the restaurant was mostly of Colorado Springs and its citizens. Sully assured Colleen and Andrew that Cloud Dancing was all right –the group of Indians he lived with in Montana when he traveled north for trade had no appetite for fighting and always stayed hidden whenever Army uniforms were sighted. One piece of news was a surprise – the town had a new postmaster, John Anderson. Without telling anyone in advance, Horace had requested a transfer to be closer to Samantha. He said he hadn't wanted anyone to try and talk him out of it, or make a fuss about it, so the town had all of one days' notice that he was leaving when John arrived to assume the post. Though everyone was caught off guard, they'd been supportive – even Michaela. While saddened to be losing a friend, she fully understood Horace's desire to be close to family.
"How's Preston doing? asked Andrew, more than a little curious. "Has he really turned over a new leaf?"
"Nothin' like a servin' of humble pie to make a man think things over," replied Sully, referring to Preston's financial troubles. "He's still got his big plans for the town, only now Michaela's helped him see there's a better way of goin' about it. Just a matter now of convincin' folks it's what's best for the town and not just what's best for him."
"What's his proposal?"
"Preston thinks we ought to add a whole new street to the town and build it up with properties for rent, with proceeds going to the city treasury for civic improvements," detailed Matthew. "He says the city should be more of a tourist destination than it already is, give visitors a reason to stay in town longer and put more of their money into the local economy. He also suggested we build a town hall that could be used for more than just council meetings, use it for things like trials and dances, instead of using the church."
"Sounds reasonable to me," said Andrew. "What did the town council think?"
"They didn't trust him at first, but Dr. Mike made 'em see that what he was proposing wasn't much different from what everyone pretended the town was like when they were courtin' the railroad."
"So, they approved it?"
"They were about to before Jake asked who was going to pay for it. Preston doesn't have the money, and banks aren't exactly lending out cash these days."
"But Preston came up with an answer for that, too," added Sully. "He thinks the town treasury should buy the lumber, and the menfolk build the buildings without pay. In exchange, the men who helped would be able to lease a building for free, in exchange for a percentage of the profits of their business."
"But most of the men are farmers or ranchers," Colleen noted. "They wouldn't need to have a building in town."
"You see the problem. The men can't afford to work without pay. Some of 'em are struggling to feed their families already. That boy you were friends with - Jared? His pa's already left to go find work in Denver, leaving Jared to run the farm."
The group grew quiet at the difficulties faced by the folks in Colorado Springs. Andrew took Colleen's hand and squeezed it in silent reassurance. He'd already withdrawn his savings from Massachusetts National Bank after reading about the bankruptcy of Jay Cooke & Company a few weeks earlier. Though the bank had an esteemed reputation, so had Jay Cooke – and after seeing firsthand the panic in Colorado Springs when Preston's bank had failed, Andrew wasn't about to take any chances that Mass National would be the next to shut its doors. Better safe than sorry. He also felt fortunate that as a physician, he would always have a job and be able to weather financial storms – in theory, anyway. If some people stopped going to the doctor to save money… well, he didn't like to think about that possibility. It could lead to more people dying.
"Well, that's unfortunate," Andrew offered, not knowing what else to say.
"Yes," agreed Elizabeth, also feeling uncomfortable with the topic. It generally wasn't polite to talk about money (especially when one had it and others did not), or the misfortunes of others. "Colleen, we haven't heard much from you. How are your studies coming along?" she asked to change the topic.
Colleen briefly shared that they were now talking about the vascular system - veins and arteries - in Anatomy and Physiology, and about germ theory and antisepsis in her Practice of Medicine class.
"You're startin' to sound like your Ma, talkin' like a real doctor," Sully said proudly at the end of the meal.
"There's still a lot for me to learn," Colleen answered modestly, but was secretly pleased by the compliment.
Andrew smiled at his wife. "And there always will be. A good doctor never stops learning." He turned towards the others. "Sorry to have to eat and run, but I've got to get back to work. I'll see you all tonight."
After bidding Andrew farewell, Sully addressed his mother-in-law. "Elizabeth, why don't you and me do some shoppin' while Matthew and Colleen do some sightseein'?"
"Shopping?" she repeated dubiously. That didn't sound like Sully.
"I, uh, could use your help picking out a gift for Michaela."
This time Elizabeth caught on to his intent - he wanted to speak with her alone. "Certainly. We can all meet up again later at Amanda's."
Matthew gave Sully a look of appreciation. "Sounds good," he said, then asked Colleen, "Which way to Independence Hall?"
"It's this way." Colleen had also been a little surprised that Sully was splitting them up, asking Elizabeth to go shopping with him, but figured he had his reasons.
Once the younger pair were out of earshot, Elizabeth inquired, "Something on your mind, Sully?"
"More like somethin's on Matthew's mind. He wouldn't have come all this way for such a short time without a good reason, and it's not to see the sights or keep me company. I gotta feelin' he wants to talk to Colleen. Somethin' he couldn't put in a letter."
"And you wished to give them some privacy. Now that you've accomplished that, did you really wish to go shopping, or would you prefer to see the sights?"
Sully smirked. "Who says it has to be one or the other?"
:
Colleen and Matthew walked side by side, Matthew looking around at all the activity of the big city, and Colleen glancing up at her brother now and then. "It's like Boston," he said finally. "People all busy going places."
"Yes, it is." When Mathew said nothing further, Colleen added, "I can't believe you came all this way for my birthday."
"Well, you know, I didn't come just for your birthday. All that studyin' I did on the Constitution tryin' to help Sully, I figured I should see where it all started."
He fell silent again, and Colleen thought how strange this was, struggling to make conversation with her brother. This wasn't the first time they'd been apart for months at a stretch, so why was it awkward now? Maybe because they weren't having to deal with a situation that demanded concrete action, as had happened so many times back home? Or was it because she had a new life far apart from his? Not in the geographic sense, though it was that, too – but she was a married woman now. She had experienced… certain things he had not. But she was still the same person, wasn't she? The same Colleen, the same little sister he could talk to about anything… or, she thought with a small smile, almost anything. There'd been that time she'd gone to her big brother, asking him why boys were so interested in girls' breasts. Matthew had struggled to answer the question, and Colleen had been frustrated by his stammering response. Of course, now that she was married, the answer was so obvious…
No wonder Matthew had been so flustered!
Colleen was startled out of her thoughts by Matthew asking, "Could we stop and talk somewhere?"
"Uh… sure. Washington Square." Colleen led them a few blocks to the shaded area, which was part cemetery, part public park. A private conservation wasn't likely to be overheard here unless someone was deliberately eavesdropping. "What'd you want to talk about?"
"I, uh, was just wondering… how you like being married."
Considering her musings of just a few minutes ago, Colleen wondered if he was a mind reader… but decided it had to be a fluke coincidence. This was Matthew being the protective big brother, always looking out for her welfare. And she couldn't blame him. After all, Jesse had seemed like a perfectly nice guy until they got the rude awakening that he wasn't what he pretended to be. Colleen knew Andrew wasn't putting up a false front – but until she reassured him, Matthew didn't.
"It was kind of strange at first," she admitted thoughtfully. "You wish and hope you could be together all the time, and suddenly you are together all the time, you don't have to wait until the next day… But the strangeness goes away, and it becomes normal to see each other all the time. It makes you so happy to be together, you forget there's sadness in the world."
"Good," Matthew replied, bobbing his head a few times in agreement. "That's good. I'm glad the two of you are happy together."
"Matthew, is something on your mind? Is there anything… specific you want to know?" As embarrassing as it would be to talk about what she knew, it would only be fair to repay him for that earlier conversation. And if she was going to be a doctor, talking about sensitive subjects would come with the territory. She better start getting used to it.
"Uh, no, no… nothin' like that," he replied hastily. "It's just… it's just I always thought I'd be the one to get married first, you know?"
"It's not a contest, Matthew. You'll find someone."
"There kinda is someone," he confessed.
"Really? What's her name?"
"It's Emma. Emma Morrison."
"Emma? She's coming back to Colorado?"
"Well, no... Not exactly."
Colleen frowned. "I don't understand."
Matthew heaved a sigh. "When I'm alone at night, trying to fall asleep, I… I think about her. It's like you said, wishing and hoping that we could be together all the time… as man and wife."
"Oh, Matthew… all this time?"
He smiled grimly. "Yeah. I thought… I thought it was for the best, you know, lettin' her go. She kept finding reasons for us not to be married, so I started doubting it myself, thinkin' maybe I didn't love her enough."
"Is that why you broke up?"
"Yeah… but having her gone, I just miss her so much. I feel like I missed my chance."
They fell silent again, save for the birds chirping in the trees and the sounds of the city surrounding the square.
"Is Emma still writing to you?" Colleen asked finally. Matthew had traveled all this way to unburden himself, the least she could do was try to help him somehow.
"Every now and then. Sometimes it's just a postcard."
"So, she's still thinking about you, too."
"Or she just feels obligated to keep writing, letting me know she's all right."
"Matthew, if Emma's still writing to you after all this time, it could be her way of letting you know she still cares about you and misses you, too."
"Do you really think so?"
Colleen shrugged. "Only one way to find out. You need to let her know how you feel."
"How? I can't write her a letter, she's never in one place long enough."
Colleen understood the problem, of trying to reach someone who was continually moving from place to place… and recalled the telegram which awaited Andrew when they'd first arrived in Philadelphia. "You find out Gilda's tour schedule. Preston knows how to contact her manager; you could ask him. Or Emma might have mentioned where she's going next in one of her letters. Once you know where she'll be on a certain date, you can send a telegram to the hotel before she gets there."
Matthew was aghast. "And say what – I still love you, please come back? I can't put that in a telegram! It's private."
"Of course not, but you could ask her when she'll be coming back to Colorado and say that you look forward to seeing her again. Then it'd be up to her to decide. If Emma misses you as much as you miss her, then she'll come back, and you can talk things over."
Matthew mulled over his sister's advice. "I suppose it's worth a try. At least, I'd know then where I stand with her."
Colleen gave her brother a comforting hug. "I hope it works out for you, Matthew."
"I hope so, too."
:
That evening, Andrew was notably absent for dinner, and after waiting a little while the others decided to start without him, knowing that doctors didn't always get to choose their hours.
"Sorry I'm late," Andrew apologized when he finally arrived, joining them towards the end of dinner and taking a seat next to Colleen. "There was something at the hospital that needed my attention," he said vaguely as he reached for the nearest serving dish, roasted carrots.
"No problem, Andrew," Elizabeth said. "Living with a physician, tardiness at the dinner table is to be expected from time to time. You must've endured the same with your own father."
"Yes." Andrew took a slice of ham from the platter Colleen handed him. Eager to change the subject and turn the focus from himself, he inquired, "Did I miss anything?"
"Colleen has an idea about how to pay for Preston's plan," Matthew announced.
"Is that so?"
"Yes. Remember I told you about Gilda St. Clair?" Andrew nodded, indicating he did, as Amanda offered him the plate of biscuits. "And she gave me her necklace for my birthday. I gave the necklace to Ma, but she could sell it and use the money to pay the workers."
Andrew looked at his wife, impressed. "That's a great idea, Colleen. Good to know it will be put to good use rather than lying in wait to cause harm."
Everyone stared at him, bewildered by his odd comment, and Andrew realized what he'd said. "I… I'm sorry, Colleen. I didn't mean to spoil your birthday. I tried to leave it at the hospital, I delayed coming home…" Distressed, he stared at his plate.
"Andrew?" Colleen placed her small hand over his larger one, concerned.
He drew strength from her support and let out a breath to compose himself. "A boy came in, seven years old, shot in the leg. He'd been playing soldiers and Indians with his older brother. The brother found their father's gun in a drawer."
Sully's voice was solemn as he voiced what happened next. "The gun was loaded."
"I did what I could, tied off the ligatures, extracted the bullet… but he'd lost too much blood. I had to tell his mother he didn't survive." There was silence all around the table, unsettled faces absorbing the news, and Andrew exhaled another deep breath. "I apologize for ruining everyone's evening. Especially you, Colleen," he added, gazing at her concerned expression. "I know this isn't the birthday you were expecting."
Colleen's heart went out to him. It was never easy, losing a patient, and this was the first one Andrew had lost since they'd been married. He'd tried to keep it bottled inside, for her sake – for her special day.
A day that was supposed to have been about joy and celebrating life was now a day marked by death.
"You're right," she said after a moment. "It's not the birthday I was expecting… but I wasn't expecting to have Matthew and Sully here either. Getting to have them here, and you and Grandma and Amanda… it's still a happy birthday."
Andrew stared at his wife. She was so beautiful in her kindness, her tender heart, forgiving him when he stumbled and faltered and spoiled her birthday - and on his very first chance to celebrate that day with her, no less. No wonder he loved her so... "Well, then, I, uh, I suppose I should finish my dinner, so I don't keep you all from tonight's special dessert," he said, trying to return the evening to normalcy after his inadvertent gaffe.
"With Colleen, that can only mean one thing. Chocolate cake," teased Matthew, following Andrew's lead. "When she was little, Colleen wanted us to celebrate her half-birthdays just so she'd have an excuse to have it twice a year."
"Matthew," Colleen complained, though she wasn't truly upset. It felt like old times, sitting around the dining table, telling stories. Maybe this wasn't the best birthday ever, but it wasn't the worst, either.
In the grand scheme of things, life was good.
:
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Author Notes:
-In the summer of 1793, refugees from a yellow fever epidemic in the Caribbean fled to Philadelphia (the seat of the federal government at the time). Within weeks, the disease had spread throughout the city of 50,000. Authorities ordered mass evacuations, but by mid-October 100 people were dying from the virus every day. Ultimately, 5,000 people (10% of the city's population) died within a span of just three months, most from yellow fever.
For further reading about that epidemic, there's a young adult historical novel you might enjoy – Fever 1793 by Laurie Halse Anderson.
-Colleen's birthday was never specified. The one time we saw it was season 5, "All that Glitters…", which aired on October 12. However, October 12 in 1873 was a Sunday, and I wanted her birthday to occur on a school day in this story, so I needed to pick a different date. College matriculation was on the 14th ("Having it All"), and Brian says she's been gone "a month", so I went with a literal month, October 14. (And there's an alternative justification for using that date. Erika's birthday is Nov 2 and Jessica's is Nov 26. The average of 2+26 is 14).
-The elegant Parker House Hotel (now known as Omni Parker House) dates to 1855 and is credited with introducing Boston Cream Pie. The dessert is technically a cake but was possibly named a pie due to being served in a pie tin.
- The Boston Music Hall was built in 1852, with an organ installed a decade later. Originally used for classical concerts (it was the first home of the Boston Symphony), it was converted into a vaudeville and mixed-use theater named the Orpheum Theatre in the 20th century. It is still in use today.
-"his life in Saratoga" – in my head-canon for this story, Andrew's uncle – never named on the show - was his mother's brother George. To explain his absence from "The Heart Within", I've given him Parkinson's Disease (named by British physician James Parkinson in 1817) and shipped him off to the spa resort town of Saratoga, NY. "Dr. Charcot" is Dr. Jean-Martin Charcot of France, considered the leading Parkinson's expert of the late 19th century (such as it was – they really knew very little back then).
- "General Custer fighting the Indians in Montana" – On August 4, 1873, one native and one soldier were killed near the Tongue River in Montana, the beginning of several incidents that summer between Custer's regiment and the indigenous Lakota/Sioux. The famous Battle of Little Bighorn – aka "Custer's Last Stand" – would occur 3 years later.
-St. George's Church dates to 1763, beginning as a Dutch Reformed Church before being bought by Methodists a few years later. The new Methodist Episcopal Church actually had both white and black parishioners and pastors, until overcrowding in 1787 led to the black members being segregated in the balcony. This situation led to the departure of the black congregants, who would go on to form the AME Church in 1816 (referenced last chapter). St. George's is still in use today as both a church and a museum.
- "thanks to a new rail connection between the two cities." – this is a reference to the Baltimore and Potomac Tunnel. According to Wikipedia, "…the tunnel opened on June 29, 1873. The B&P tunnel allowed the Pennsylvania Railroad (PRR) direct access to Washington, D.C., for the first time."
- "the bankruptcy of Jay Cooke & Company" - On September 18, 1873, Jay Cooke & Co (previously mentioned in chapter 3) declared bankruptcy. The institution - which had helped finance the Union effort during the Civil War - had lent over a million dollars to the Northern Pacific Railroad, which was attempting to build the second transcontinental railroad service across the United States. However, the railroad had trouble repaying its loans, and skittish depositors began to withdraw their funds in large numbers. Jay Cooke realized it was over-extended on credit and shut its doors. The prominent firm's failure set off a chain reaction of calamity. One fourth of the nation's railroads fell into bankruptcy, 18,000 businesses failed within two years, and unemployment soared, souring President Grant's second term. It would become the country's worst economic recession until the Great Depression in the 1930's.
-Emma's last name was never spoken on the show. It appeared on the envelope from Gilda St. Clair in season 5's "Last Dance".