A/N: Happy Thursday Ladies! Hope everyone is staying safe and starting to get back to 'normal' as best they can. I was hoping to post this on Tuesday, but my internet went out Monday and finally got it fixed this morning. I will do my best to get another chapter to you this weekend if I can to make up for all the short chapters. Don't worry the longer chapters are on their way!

Please Be Advised. WARNING: This story has strong, bloody violence, strong language, contains material that some find disturbing, and contain scenes of sexual nature.

I do not have an editor so there are going to be blips and mistakes. Please be kind when reviewing. This is purely for entertainment and not real life.

As always all mistakes are mine. Enjoy!

CHAPTER THREE

CHRISTIAN

SIXTEEN MONTHS LATER

Flying down to San Diego, I decided to make a quick weekend trip to check up on her. No one knew I'd left Seattle, they all thought I'd be hauled up in our local brothel binge fucking after the long ass street war that ended with a few of our crew dead and the Canadians completely obliterated. I needed some fresh air to take my mind off of everything and regroup after the months of bullets flying and sleeping with one eye open.

So, I came here to watch my little secret. A dirty little secret that still no one knows about but me. I've had more than enough opportunities to confess my sins about what had happened that night, but for once I wanted something that was all mine.

The moment I left the hotel after getting settled, I roamed the campus in my college gear in search for the brown haired, blue-eyed beauty. The campus is buzzing with a rival football game happening the next day. All the students were in spirit shirts with crowds chanting and cheering on every surface of the college campus. A thump on my chest made me realize how I never was able to experience something like this. From the beginning, I was groomed to take over the family business, so college was never even an option for me to consider. My younger brother is getting that experience right now and in a few years my sister will be heading off, but not me. No, I was always the one who would step up and take the throne when Pop decided he was retiring, or a body bag claimed him. I was sent over to Italy to train and learn from my grandfather and Uncle on how to become the next in line. They run Italy like Pop runs the West Coast. He was sent over here when he turned seventeen by grandfather to establish roots and move product throughout the U.S.

Watching the comraderies from every single person and the school pride had me wishing that I came from a different family. A normal one. To be so carefree and only having worries about what party to attend on the weekends. Of course, it's not like I can't get alcohol and pussy on demand but the vibe here is different. Like a rite of passage or something.

This is the first time I'd been on campus, but I made sure to study the college map on the flight down here, so I knew just about where everything was. She might not even be on campus right now and all this was for nothing, but I at least had to try, needing to stretch my legs after the hours spent on a flight. Just when I'm about to give up and head back to the room I saw something in my peripheral coming towards the common area right in front of the library, I saw her.

Anastasia.

There was no doubt in my mind that it was someone else. Her curly brown locks swayed as the balls of her feet bounced with the bands fight song. She had on the shortest shorts that displayed her toned tanned legs. Her college jersey was cropped and showed off her midsection. She was a walking wet dream. My dick immediately strained against the zipper needing more room. My mouth watered as she twirled in a circle with her hands raised in the air letting the jersey lift even more north so that I was able to catch a peek at the bottom of her black lacy bra.

Down boy, she's just a kid you saved. Woman. There's no doubt in my mind that she's all woman.

Even though it had been a while since I saw her last, she still reminded me that you can't change a leopard's spots. Right as she finishes her twirl, gravity kicks in and she fumbles over air and almost topples over. My feet make their way on instinct, but I'm stopped as a lame ass joker sweeps in and saves her from falling. He tucks her into his side with his muscled arms circling her body. It's almost a protection hold that has been a reoccurring thing for them. Familiar. He leans in to tell her something in her ear because the noise out here is too loud to have a conversation. Whatever he says makes Anastasia throw her head back and laughs. She leans in and pecks him on the cheek as he steadies her then releases his hold. From this distance it's clear that he hesitates letting her go. I've felt that buttery soft skin of hers and know exactly how hard it was to release her. Fuck!

And for some unexplained reason my blood boils to the surface. I flew here with no heavy metal or lead because this was just supposed to be a quick get in then out visit, but if I'd had my gun on me, I'd shot him dead between his pussy-ass manicured eyebrows. Who in the hell does this joker think he is touching what's mine? My fingers ball up into fists.

Mine?

Where the hell did that come from? She's not mine, just someone I saved.

She could be mine.

I shake those thoughts out of my head immediately, no way could that ever happen. She just some girl that I decided to show mercy to because it was the right thing to do. I had a moment of weakness and spared her life. That's all.

Then why have I been checking up on her all these years?

Disgusted at where my thoughts have gone and the pushy college kids, I halt my movement and carefully watch. I decide right then and there that this will be the last time I go out of my way seeing her. This is it. No more visits, none. She's fine and living the best life she was meant to have, and I gave that to her. This is that one good deed in my life that I can say I helped someone. When I'm standing in front of my maker at least I'll have less blood on my hands from it. This feeling in my gut is not going to sway me to continue to stalk this poor girl who has no idea that the reaper has been watching from afar for years.

That night the college was holding a Midnight Madness gathering to celebrate the big game tomorrow afternoon. After hearing Anastasia and her friends making plans on attending, I decided to go. I was leaving in the morning anyway so why not enjoy this last thing before having to get back to the grind working with Pops.

She and her friends were all congregated on the lawn with blankets as did all the other students. After a little while, I watched as Anastasia puts down her book then stood and made her way to the bathrooms not far from her friends.

My little bookworm.

Why is she going by herself? Doesn't this chick have any type of self-preservation in her body? Some psycho stalker rapist could be waiting to snatch her up to never be seen again. Or some human trafficker like her pansy-ass father could snatch her up and have her in a shipping container halfway to the Middle East before anyone could blink.

Deciding to make sure she isn't kidnapped; I follow slowly behind her. There's a bit of a line so I discreetly head into the men's side and do my business to kill some time as the women's side always takes forever. As soon as I walk out of the bathroom, I'm knocked into by a flash of brown curly hair.

"Oh, sorry." A voice I haven't heard from this close in a long-time, chimes in my ears.

Once I'm able to come to my senses I realize that I'm holding her so that our chests are touching. That in itself, sets my body ablaze. What is she doing to me? None of the other women I've bedded have made my body react like this. The air around us is thick and electric. Anastasia seems to bring all these emotions out in me and I'm not so sure how to handle it. I shouldn't even be here to begin with. I'm too fucking old to even be thinking these thoughts.

"Um, thanks for catching me." Anastasia speaks again and it brings me out of my stupor. It's then that I realize that I've just been holding and staring down at her for longer than necessary and not saying anything, like a total idiot. Never have I had a problem sweet talking women or laying it on thick with my charm. She seems perfectly fine with being in someone's arms and the thought of her being touched by someone else, like the scene I watched earlier today, makes me tighten my hold on her.

Get a grip, you fool. Next you're going to toss her over your shoulder then bang on your chest from the nearest building. How the hell are you going to justify having someone from your crew come bail your ass out of jail for kidnapping?

Easing up the strained muscles in my arms, I release her slightly giving her a chance to take one step back away from my chest.

"You barrel into people often?" I blurt out growling instead of keeping my mouth shut and letting her walk away. Way to act like a douche instead of just soaking up all the attention we've been given right now.

What if she recognizes my voice from that night?

She obviously doesn't hear me because her eyes are roaming all over me as she blatantly checks me out. My hard body flexes under her gaze having a mind all on its own. A sense of pride fills my chest as I see her eyes light up taking me in. My tattoos are on display in the short-sleeved shirt which are usually covered up with my dress shirt and suit I always wear. She's like a kid in a candy store for the first time, big eyes widening trying to decide where to start exploring first.

Go ahead, baby, take in all that I have to offer. I bet the sight of my dick will make you pass out.

"Huh?" She finally answers when her eyes sweep up to mine. It makes me chuckle but it's short lived as her palms come up and rest on my pecks. Like she's exploring as if I were a unicorn. The laugh is caught in my throat and my dick pulses at the same speed as my heartbeat under her contact. Her heat and pressure around us could turn coal into a diamond.

As if someone kicked her in the shin, Anastasia jolts and removes her hands from my body, and I feel a cold shiver where her warmth was just seconds ago. Does she know I'm the one who killed her father?

"I…I'm," She tries to speak but she's tongue-tied. Her cheek pinken as if she's thinking dirty thoughts. She traps her lower lip between her teeth making me want to have a turn. With eyes avoiding me I can see she's shy and her naivety is pouring off her in waves.

Damnit.

I decide to put us both out of our misery from the absence of her touch and reach for her hands. Her skin is soft to the touch and is so tiny in my large callus hands. Blood stained hands.

It's dark out and only the faint light from the flood lights on the buildings are on tonight.

"Thank you." She mutters but it comes out as almost a whisper.

I nod not trust my voice. Shit, I've become such a pussy, if Ray saw the way I was acting right now he'd never let me live it down or shoot me in the head for behaving like some limp dick. The chance of throwing her over my shoulder and heading back to my hotel room increases as the seconds tick by so I need to either make a move or end this.

Her eyes sparkle in the light and the innocence's shines through. I glance around to see if anyone is near. I could take her, and no one would notice. It'd be days before those friends of hers even started to seek her out. That's when it hits me. She deserves better than me. She has her whole life in front of her and not strapped to a man who kills and tortures people for a living. Someone who doesn't have choices and lives by a certain code. She'd never be able to live in my world and even if she could, Pops or Ray would eventually find out who she really is and kill her.

Huffing out, I make my choice. It's better for the both of us that I let her go now. Removing all contact from her body, I smile. Making the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life.

Goodbye, baby. Have a long and adventurous life.

Reaching up, I cup the side of her face in my hand, relishing the touch and feel of her and the life I'll never have with her. With one last wink, I force myself to walk away. It isn't easy but just like I did that night all those years ago, I give her the chance to live and not be put in a cage or worse, six feet under. I might be strapped to a life full of death and destruction, but she doesn't have to be. She is what is good in this world and I'd be the biggest dick if I tried to snuff it out.

I keep walking down the cement path towards the main street where my rental car awaits. With every cell in my body I know that if I turned around to look back I'd change my mind and steal her away. Away from everything that I've tried to give her since our first encounter.

Keep walking. Keep walking and don't look back. I chant as I make the final turn into darkness and away from the only good thing that has ever touched my life. If I look back and she's still standing there watching me I think my heart would explode knowing that I'm making the biggest mistake but on the other hand if I looked and she's already walked away I think my heart would crack into a million pieces.

Either way I can't afford to put us in that kind of danger. Keep walking. So I do what I've been trained to do all my life. Push my wants and needs aside and focus on what is best for the family, even if I die a little more inside because of it.

A/N: Thank you for reading and I hope you like my story! See you ladies next Thursday! Stay Safe. If you are wanting to check out my Online Women's Clothing Boutique visit:

.com

or look me up on Facebook at PigPen Boutique I do a LIVE video every night at 7pm(cst)

~Amber