A/N: Happy Thursday Ladies! Hope everyone is doing okay and staying safe.

Please Be Advised. WARNING: This story has strong, bloody violence, strong language, contains material that some find disturbing, and contain scenes of sexual nature.

I do not have an editor so there are going to be blips and mistakes. Please be kind when reviewing. This is purely for entertainment and not real life.

As always all mistakes are mine. Enjoy!

CHAPTER FOUR

CHRISTIAN

"Forget to do laundry." Ray points at my neck where I'd usually be wearing a tie along with my daily suit. Normally, I'd be in a three-piece suit looking like I walked straight off a GQ photo shoot, loving the attention I'd get from women. But not now. Now a days I couldn't give two shits if I even rolled out in my running gear. I didn't feel like having a noose around my neck today, so I left the top two buttons undone instead. "Mr. Grey isn't going to like it."

I shrug because lately I don't give a shit anymore. Ever since I got back from visiting Anastasia a few weeks ago I've been in a mood. Things are different now and what once used to appeal to me, doesn't hold the same attraction as it once did. Bedding whores has become a chore and is becoming boring. Getting out of bed each morning is like a beating we used to get from Ma. She'd wait until I was fully asleep before delivering our punishment the wooden paddle. Jeez, for a small woman she really knew how to pack a swift hit. The older I got the smarter I was and wore extra clothing while I slept incase she'd come in the middle of the night. Except the older I got the larger the paddle was.

"Mr. Grey has a few clean up jobs on the list today." Ray continues to talk but I could care less.

"The usual, handsome?" Susie, the waitress, asks coming over to fill up our coffee mugs and taking the same breakfast order we get every damn day of the week.

We're sitting in the same diner we meet at every morning before checking off the to do list my Pop has for the day. After what Ray just said it seems like it's going to be a long-ass day.

"What's crawled up your ass and died, Prince?" He asks and I want to scream my head off at his name for me. He's done it since I was little and knows it rubs me the wrong way. First, he started calling me Chrissy but since Pops has made it clear that I'm his successor, Ray's been shoving that name down my throat anytime we're alone.

He must take my silences as a way for him to continue to rib me.

"I told you for years to lay off the hookers and blow, that one day it'd catch up with you."

Thankfully, Ray's phone starts buzzing and leaves me the hell alone in my thoughts. I down the last of my blistering coffee hoping to feel the burn. Hoping to feel anything. I've grown numb, complacent in my life and nothing is helping. Especially, not drugs or women. I stopped doing drugs years ago when that shit landed me in the hospital having to have my stomach pumped because I thought I was invincible. Ma made me promise to never touch that shit again and being the perfect son that I am and also a mama's boy, I've kept my word. The women on the other hand has been a revolving door since I was thirteen. Judge all you want but in this life we don't tend to live long so the rule is to start young and enjoy it while you're still alive. Ray's words not mine.

A set of fingers snap at my eyes jolting me out of my head.

"Pay fucking attention." Ray growls. "Jesus, I don't know how I got stuck with the likes of you. Let's go."

He stands shoving his large hands in his back pocket fishing out his wallet, then tosses several large bills on the table. He turns without another word and walks towards the door that leads out to the street. Like the good little solider I am, I pick up my black bag and follow him, but to just show I'm not a pussy I take my time to get into his waiting car by the curb.

Several hours later, I've delivered over half a dozen beatings after collecting the monthly dues and my mind is finally right where it needs to be. I'm focused on the task at hand and the physical aspect is therapeutic to my soul. Working out my aggression and anger finally loosens my muscles and gives me a sort of release. It's temporary but at least I get some type of reprieve.

"Boss needs you to clean up over at Hoover's place." Ray says as he chews on an apple after I get into the car and start to wipe the blood from my battered and bruised knuckles.

Clean up in our world means to wipe out the guy, exterminate him from this this world and make it look natural. We don't leave a trace unless Pops wants to send a message to someone.

The sun set hours ago as Ray and I wait in the back of the house for the last of the lights in the house next door to go off before we make our move. The last thing you want is for someone to hear something and come over to investigate. Just as the switch is flipped, we're out of the car and jumping the small chained linked fence. I've got my bag secured and ready for when we have Hoover contained.

"I'll take the front." Ray forces over his shoulder as he quickly makes his way to the side of the house not giving me an option of what I want. I'd been on my own for many years until Pop made it known that I'd be replacing him when the time came. He made Ray stay with me ever since to make sure I'm protected and left unharmed in the case someone wanted to take me down. I've known Ray my entire life and he's not a bad guy but lately everything seems to put me on edge.

My mind wonders back all those years ago when I was creeping into the back window of Anastasia's fathers house. I still to this day could describe every second and every action I made that night. Not because I can remember every kill I've had, but because she was there. She's been in my dreams ever since then and I can't shake the feelings I have, no matter how hard I try to cleanse her of my thoughts or how many whores I've bedded, she still stays right there in the forefront of my brain.

Lifting the screen off the window, I notice Ray has already made his way in the living room coming this way. The glass slides open and a hand snaps out, grabbing at my lapels dragging me across the windowsill.

"What the fuck is taking you so long?" He sneers checking his surroundings. "You've been off all day long and now is not the time to get one of us killed."

"Some of us just don't barge in like a bull in a china shop, we like to scope out our surrounds before we move." I adjust my suit jacket then move my hand to the back waistband for my gun.

"Get your head out of your ass and focus!" He whisper shouts, then leaves the room in search of Hoover.

Shaking my head to focus on the task ahead I follow through the same door Ray just exited and down a hallway. Ray is halfway up the stairs when I start to ascend. Not paying attention I step on something squishy then a loud squeak fills the house. My body stills as I look down at the offending noise.

A stuffed elephant.

"Christ almighty!" Ray murmurs.

Just then a door opens and out steps a tall figure. Hoover. When his eyes adjust to the two figures in his house late at night, he quickly tries to make a run for it back into the room he just came out of. Ray jumps into action grabbing him and locking him up against the wall with his hands behind his back. Ray is whispering to him where I can't hear it, but the nod of his head tells me that Hoover heard just fine.

"Take him downstairs." Ray orders then shoves him over to me at the top of the steps.

I give a quizzical look wondering why but I don't have a second to spare as Ray turns to continue to walk down the hall and I'm escorting Hoover down the steps.

Once I've secured Hoover in the wooden chair, his hands and feet bound in wire that'll cut through the skin if he tries to fight against it. Wanting to get this over so I can start my nightly routine, I pull out my hunting blade. I keep her nice and sharp, so sharp that she can slice through canned goods without any problem.

"I'm sorry Christian, I thought I could get you all the money, but I came up short. Please, just give me so more time and I'll have the full amount with interest." Hoover pleads but he has to know that if I'm the one here that's not an option anymore. I'm the last person people want to see. I'm the reaper that comes right before you meet your maker.

"You went to our rival and traded secrets for money, Hoover." I stop him from begging anymore. I hate having to listen to their excuses, like I'm going to say, 'sure just one more chance'. Pop might be a lot of things, but he does give certain people chances to make it right depending on the offense and how much money is at stake. "Carrick Grey doesn't give pity to those who've betrayed him or his people. You're lucky we're only taking you out and not your entire bloodline." I threaten, not that we'd kill innocent children or women.

His eyes widen at the mention of his family then whips his head towards the stairs.

Tired and ready for this day to be over, I walk over behind him with my blade tightly in hand.

"Mr. Grey demands and expects loyalty." I say then slice the blade all the way from one side of his ear to the other. The gurgle of blood filling his throat coats the room as the life that was once Hoover Downs leaves his body.

The stairs creek and I watch as Ray comes down the steps with scratches and traces of blood on his arms.

"What the hell happened to you?" I ask as I wipe my blood covered blade on Hoover's t-shirt.

Ray looks down at his arms then shrugs, "Killed the dog."

My brows pinch together. Why didn't I hear the struggle of any of it? Dogs aren't the quietist when being attacked.

"We done here?" Ray interrupts my line of questioning at the tip of my tongue. "I've got somewhere to be." He adjusts the gloves on his hands then walks past me towards the back of the house where our car is parked.

For a moment I almost go up the steps to see what the hell happened up there, but the sound of the backdoor opening stops me. Not wanting to be stranded, I make sure I've got all my equipment along with the wire I used to strap Hoover in the chair. His limp body hits the floor and I swing the bag over my shoulder not thinking again about the bad feeling I have in my gut.

Coming to terms that this is the life I'm destined to have; I step out into the night air and sullenly make my way over to the waiting car. I am the first son of a mob boss; this is what I've been groomed to become my whole life. I need to start acting like the next boss and not someone who daydreams about a girl he'll never have. I can get any woman at anytime, anywhere. One chick is not going to mess up my plans on becoming the next mob boss. My life is here, my family is here and it's time for me to step up, take charge and put my wants and needs aside.

So, why do I feel like I'm drowning?

"There's my baby boy!" My Ma exclaims as I walk through the front door of my childhood home. "What took you so long? The food is cooling, and you know how I expect a call if you're going to be late."

Home is an understatement, more like a mansion compared to other homes. The house is on the Sound that overlooks the water. It's more like a compound. Pop bought up all the surrounding acreage to build my Ma the home of her dreams. My house is situated down the shoreline but still included in the fortress. We have guys that patrol around the clock to make sure no one tries to gain access to the property. Decades ago a pissant group of wannabe mobsters tried to infiltrate our compound trying to take Ma so they could use her as leverage against Pop. Needless to say it didn't end well for those fuckers and their families. Ever since Pop made sure to have the property secured so that the enemy would have to go through at least two lines of defense before ever getting remotely close to her or the house he built for her.

"I'm not a baby anymore, Ma." I try to defend but she swats me on the arm with the dish rag in her hand.

"You'll always be my baby, Christian, I don't care how old you get. Now go and wash up, we waited for you. Hello Raymond."

"Good evening Mrs. Grey, it smells delicious." Ray sucks up to Ma but keeps his distance.

Every one of my Pop's men know not to make any contact with Ma or be placed on ice. One thing my Pop has always said to me is once you have the most prized possession you make sure that no one ever touches it. Two things that my Pop holds as his most prized possessions is his business and the other is my Ma. He might be a cold-hearted bastard but when it comes to Ma, he'd give everything up in a heartbeat if she'd ever ask. She never would do that, but she does hold a lot of power over him. Some might call him pussy whipped, but they are perfect together. Their relationship is what books are written about or countries go to war over. Grandfather wasn't happy about their relationship at first because he thought Ma distracted him and the goals that were set for Pop, but Pop didn't care and went head to head with grandfather over it. They were married six weeks after meeting and had me a year later. Elliott and Mia came much later. I'm twenty-eight, Elliott is about to turn twenty, and Mia who is our little princess is sixteen.

"Thank you Raymond." She leaves us and heads towards the kitchen telling Gretchen, the help, to prepare to serve dinner.

Ray and I wash up in the hall bathroom then make our way to the dining room that could set eighty people. Ma loves to host parties and have the men bring their families with them. She's the social butterfly where my father likes to isolate and rule behind his office door.

As we enter my father walks in from the south entrance where his office is located.

"Everything get handle today?" Pop greets us. He comes and swallows me in a hug then holds me at my shoulders with his large hands.

"Yes Sir." I nod and he gives me an approved squeeze.

"Good, good." Pop turns his attention to towards Ray then gives a nod. Conversation over.

"Dinner is served!" Ma comes in from the door that the kitchen holds carrying a plate of food and a tumbler of amber liquid.

We take our seats and Ma places the plate of food in front of Pop. For as long as I can remember my Ma has always served Pop first. We've always had staff who works for us and even though it is their job to wait on us, Ma has always been the one who waits and serves Pop, whether it be food or drinks or even the morning paper she makes the effort to be attentive to his needs. He has always made it known that she should be served first since she was the one who prepared it, but Ma never lets it happen.

"Carrick is the head of this family and should be always be put first." Ma said one time when I asked her as a kid.

But the one thing I know for sure is that Pop will always wait to take a bite after Ma takes her. She may not notice it, but I've watched them my whole life and it's the little things that they do for each other that tells me how much they love and respect each other. Pop seems to always know just what my Ma needs before she even thinks about it.

"Christian, honey, when are you going to settle down and give us some grandbabies?" Ma asks after we all tuck into the delicious meal. The bite I just took gets lodged in my throat and I choke. Ray beats my back with his hand thinking it's funny.

"Sweetheart, he'll find the right woman when he's ready. Let's not push him to soon or it might not work out and then we'll have to deal with only seeing our grandbabies every other weekend." Pop places his hand on Ma's. "Besides, Christian is busy learning about the business and making sure our legacy will be strong for the next generation that follows."

"I know, I just want him to have someone like I have you. He needs that woman in his life who will take care of him." They speak as though they are the only two in the room.

"He will, Tesoro." Sweetheart. The affection they show is such a contradiction to the cold-blooded killer that my Pop is. He treats Ma as though she's the sun that lights up the world but handles the rest of the world with an iron fist. Only a select few have ever seen my Pop interact with Ma in such a gentle manner. Most has never seen my Ma or siblings because Pop feels like you place a target on them when everyone knows your weakness, or you show it for others to use against you.

"Where is Mia tonight?" I ask hoping to change the subject from me to anything else.

"She's with some friends seeing a movie." Ma answers turning her attention from Pop to me.

Ray eats in silence like always. He is one of the only members of my Pop's business that ever eats with us on the regular. Pop trusts him more than anyone in the business and they are as close as brothers. Ray has been a fixture in Pop's life since moving to the U.S. when grandfather sent him over at eighteen.

After dinner Ray and Pop head to his office and I start to make my way home. Ma always has me come at least four times a week to have a meal with her. Yeah, I'm a mama's boy but when she starts the guilt trips about Elliott off to college and Mia being a teenager, I know that I'll give her anything.

"I just don't want you to be alone. You understand that, right?" Ma says as I pull on my suit jacket.

"I know Ma." If she only knew the woman I want is one that is unattainable. "One day."

She gives me a kiss on the cheek then pats then pats it.

"I know this life can be hard, Christian. When I first met your father I thought that there was no way I could deal with what he did for a living."

"What changed your mind?" I ask. Hope welling in my chest.

"When you love someone like I love your father there isn't anything that would stand in the way of being with them. You learn to love them in all their faults, even the bad. I know that he's done some bad things in his life but my life without him in it isn't a life I could ever imagine having."

"I hope that one day I'll find a woman who will love me as much as you love Pop, Ma."

"She's out there, honey, just give it time. You'll be happy knowing that you waited for the right one."

I take my leave because if I don't I run the chance of telling Ma all about Anastasia. Ma and I have always been close. I've talked with her with just about everything in my life. She listens and hears everything I have to say before she weighs in on what she thinks the best direction she'd go on. Which is usually the right direction. Grace Grey gives the best advice. The fact she has never judged my choices makes us have the best relationship. I don't know what I'd do without her.

"Thanks, Ma. I'll call you tomorrow." I kiss her on the cheek and walk out the front door to head to my house down a ways on the compound.

Even if Anastasia excepted the life I live, could I bring her here to be locked away from the world so that she could never be used against me? She'd have constant guards around her at all times. At any time she would have a minimal of five guards that surround her, not to mention when I take over how that will increase to even more. Even though I'm headed to my home and stay on the compound I know that there are at least three men out of sight watching and making sure I'm not taken out by an enemy. I grew up in this life, living it every day so I've grown accustom to it but will she? I'm the next in line as Don in the mafia when Pop decides he's had enough or dies. Could she be like Ma and live this life?

My head hurts thinking about this. I've made the decision but why do I have the worse regret of walking away from her.

Move on and let things be.

A/N: Thank you for reading and I hope you like my story! See you ladies next Thursday! Stay Safe. Next Chapter is Christian and Anastasia meeting each other! Stay Tuned.

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