A/N: Hello! Hope everyone is doing great and staying healthy. I've completed chemo and radiation and about to start the reconstruction phase of this journey. Thank you for all the kind and positive words while I was going through this! Cancer sucks but I'm thankful to be recovering and moving forward with my life.

I was able to meet up with the beautiful and talented ff authors: Storietella2, Diamondchild & t traveller this past Friday and had a blast sitting down and visiting with them over dinner. They are absolutely fantastic and amazing! You can find our outing in a LIVE post over in the FSOG Fanfic Followers group on Facebook.

Please Be Advised. WARNING: This story has strong, bloody violence, strong language, contains material that some find disturbing, and contain scenes of sexual nature.

I do not have an editor so there are going to be blips and mistakes. Please be kind when reviewing. This is purely for entertainment and not real life.

As always all mistakes are mine. Enjoy!

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

ANASTASIA

Snick!

The sound of the lock puts my racing heart a little at ease even though I know for a fact that Christian could shoulder through this door in one try. At least I have a barrier between us to think. He's always given me space if needed during our time together.

My mind flashes over the past twenty-four hours and I can't help letting a whimper creep out. Putting my hand over my mouth I silence the noise. My free hand finds the light switch and illuminates the bathroom. I can hear Christian talking to someone, so I quickly move towards the shower and turn it on.

I can't believe that this time yesterday I was having my last day of school with my kids and now I'm…shit, where the hell am I?

Shaking my head I drop my clothes and jump in the steaming water. The water pelts against my skin as I stay under the shower for as long as I can trying to wasting time before I have to face Christian again.

What is going to happen to me? Are they going to keep me here forever and never let me go? Do I try to make another run of it? Why does everyone have guns if they're all family? Should I play the perfect wife and gain their trust until I can find help? Do I get a phone call? Who the hell are these people?

Knock! Knock!

"Breakfast is here!" I hear Christian's voice over the water.

Shit! Am I ready to face him? I have so many questions racing through my mind that I can't focus on one topic. His dad said he killed Frank? Was that true? Was he the one who was at the house that night?

Knowing that he hates for me to skip meals, I know I need to prepare my big girl panties and take control over this. Right!? Turning off the water I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Holy hell, I look like I've been put through the wringer.

After another ten minutes of trying to make myself look less frightened and add more questions to my already overflowing cup of questions I slowly unlock the door and carefully peek out.

Christian is typing on his phone but snaps his neck toward me upon hearing the door open.

"Hey baby, I've got all your favorites this morning." He motions to the balcony where I tried to escape before. I'm about to tell him in my most confident voice to shove the food where the sun don't shine but my body becomes my biggest traitor and growls.

Thanks a lot, stupid stomach.

So, instead of giving him my attitude I decide to hold off for a bit and let him lead me out the door and onto the balcony where a table and two chairs have been magically placed because I swear they weren't there last night or I'd have definitely tripped over it. Although I wasn't exactly viewing the landscaping to pay any attention.

Christian and his impeccable manners pull my chair out and then helps me slide the chair up closer to the table. Geesh! Why does he make it so hard to not swoon over him. Focus, Ana stick to the gameplan. We are furious with this man and need answers!

"You look beautiful this morning." He compliments as he sits down and starts plating food then sits it in front of me.

"Hmm," is all I give him but when I look up at his face I see him frown at my reaction. Seeing him look so sad twists a knot in my belly and chest. "Thank you." I quickly add.

After Christian plates himself a large assortments of food we eat in silence and let the tension build. I notice out of the corner of my eye that men are walking the large property at a distance.

"I know you must have a million questions, please talk to me babygirl. I can't keep this silent treatment up with you not speaking to me."

"I'm not even sure where to begin." I answer after a beat. "You killed Frank?"

"How about you ask me who my family is? And then we'll go from there and will walk through every step." He eases forward and lays the gentlest hand on mine.

I feel like my entire world is about to be blown up just as the day I found out my mom had been killed when I was younger.

You can do this Ana! Let's test out our big girl panties.

Squaring my shoulders, "Okay, who are you and what kinda of freaking family do you come from?"

There is a slight smirk on his face when I say freaking instead of the cuss word. Being a teacher limits your vocabulary and my brain is still trying to play catch up.

"This isn't the time to be funny Christian!" I try to pull my hand back, but he keeps me in his grasps.

"I'm sorry Anastasia, I know this isn't. I can only imagine what you must think of me and this entire situation. But please know that I love you with all my heart and everything that has been done on my side has been because you're my whole world."

Good. God. This. Man!

"Well!"

What Christian does next surprises the hell out of me. He lets go of my hand and promptly stands. I think he's about to start to pace but instead he scrapes his chair over to my side then turns my chair to face him so that we are knee to knee and eye to eye. He reaches for both my hands in a tight clutch.

"There's no easy way to put this so here goes, my family is in the Mafia."

Of all the things he could've said. Before I can contain it I burst out a giggle. This man!

"Christian, stop this right now and tell me what is really happening here." I demand.

His face is so serious the hairs on the back of my neck stand. Oh no.

"You're serious?" My eyes bounce back and forth between his eyes looking for any type joking.

"I wouldn't joke about this. I promised to be honest with you and I'll tell you everything you need to know and understand about me and my, no, our family."

Mafia? Is that still a thing? I look around at our surroundings and pause.

"Where are we?" This doesn't look like New York or Las Vegas.

"Seattle, Washington."

"But I thought the mob was in Las Vegas or New York?"

He tries but fails to stifle a chuckle.

"Babygirl, you and Kate watch way too many gangster movies."

His frown matches mine at the mention of Kate. My head is wadding just barely above water with all this that I forgot about her.

"Did you…"

"I had no idea that she was working for my father." He answers before I finish my sentence. "Had I known she wouldn't have gotten within 500 yards of you."

Betrayal.

Again.

Just when I think I've gotten my life on the right track and have the family I've always wanted the rug seems to be pulled out from under me again. Why can I never have a steady life where I'm not thrown a curveball at every turn?

Christian reaches for my chin and cups my cheek.

"I'm going to make this right. I'll earn your trust in me again." He promises.

He starts telling me all about his family and the dynamics of their business. From there he recalls us meeting in Frank's house.

"It was you? This entire time, you were the one who threaten and terrorized me that night." I whimper recalling how scared I was. "Do you have any idea what I went through? Every night I barricaded my door and window at school terrified that the person who held me in that pantry would come find me and kill me like I found Frank that night."

Startling both of us I tip the chair back, letting it fall over as I start to pace away from Christian. He must think I might bolt down the stairs located near us because he rushes over to me matching my steps the length of the balcony.

"Meeting you at the pool wasn't a coincidence was it? You've been stalking me." I accuse. My mind is starting to become clear, and the events of our entire relationship is coming into focus.

"I wouldn't say I've been stalking you. I've kept tabs on you over the years since the Frank drama. I tried to leave you alone, I truly did but there was this pull you had on me. I couldn't shake it." His eyes are pleading with me to believe him but right now I can't trust myself to because I feel on shaky ground.

"I can't believe this." I run my fingers through my hair and pull at the roots trying to wrap my mind through everything he's told me so far. Somehow I don't think we've even touched the tip of the iceberg of the entire situation. "What else have you done that put you on my radar since Malibu?"

Christian huffs pulling at his own hair, letting me know that I'm not going to like what he has to say next.

When he finishes telling me every little detail about our time together up until yesterday, my body is shaking. I feel so stupid about being so naïve about everything and how I had no clue at what was happening right under my nose. How Carson was living on our property as protection. Christian's real job was underground gambling not some desk job.

"This whole time my life has been one big lie. You've…"

"No," He rushes over, crowding me. "My love for you has never and will never be a lie. I've loved you for so long. Please don't say that. Yes, our meeting might not have been as random as you thought but everything that has happened between us once we met, and our feelings have been true. We can't fake that."

"I wasn't given that chance to pick you or all of this!" I yell in his face breaking down.

Before I can register what my body is doing, my hand has snapped out and made contact with Christian's cheek. My heart starts to pound against my ribcage. Holy shit! My hand stings and I bring it up to my mouth in shock. What did I just do? Oh my gosh!

"I-I didn't mean to do that. Oh my God! I'm so…"

He doesn't take his eyes off of me, "I deserved that and much more. If you need to do it again to make you feel better then do it." He steps closer to me using his hands to rub my upper arms. "What I can't take is you leaving me."

"Leaving? Do I even have a say if I want to leave?"

He shakes his head as his jaw ticks.

"I've been without you and that is not something I'm willing to live with. You could leave but I'd find you. The best and safest place for you is by my side. Being in the Mafia is hard but you'll get used to it."

By the time he finishes telling me about being the next in line to take over for his father my body feels as though I've swam over a hundred laps in a pool. The sun is high in the sky and several hours have passed. My head is hurting from all the information, and he has answered every one of my questions that I've asked and then some. My hope of escaping dims more and more.

"So how does Ray fit into all this? Is he my biological dad, the one my mom spoke about dying in the military?"

"Ray was never in the military. I think that is a conversation that you should have with him. I was given a very brief rundown last night before you fled and can't really answer what you are looking for. I'll be with you if you want when you're ready to speak with him."

I rush of air leaves my body and I sink back into my chair. My muscles are tight and ache from all the tension.

"I don't know if I'm ready to even have a conversation right now on that subject." I say honestly.

Christian squeezes my hands.

"I know this is a lot to digest."

Understatement of the year.

There is a knock on the French doors of his room and Christian stands to answer it. Just as I'm rubbing my fingers over my temples I hear a familiar voice that brings on a rush of tears.

"Honey, are you okay?" Dr. Collins comes rushing over to me and another flood of tears come bursting out of me. She holds me tight, and I fall limply into her. "Lets get you inside so we can talk."

I lean on her as we head back into Christian's room. She helps me sit up against the headboard as she makes herself comfortable on the side of the bed. When I start to look around I see Christian is nowhere to be found.

"I thought it might be better if it was just the two of us for a while." She assures me.

"How did you get here?" I whisper afraid that this might be a test and Christian might have the room bugged listening in on our conversation.

"Christian called me this morning and briefly told me that you needed me here. He set up transportation for me to fly here as soon as possible."

Looking around the room I lean in to speak, "You have to help me get out of here. I'm not sure it's safe for you to even be here."

"Tell me what is going on first and then we can determine about safety. I'm almost one hundred percent certain that Christian would never put you in any type of danger."

"You don't know him Collins. He isn't what I thought. I've been set up."

"Set up? For what?" She questions.

"He's been stalking me."

Collins takes one of my hands and holds it in hers. "Why don't you start from the beginning and tell me what is going on?"

I start from the beginning but leave out some details not wanting to involve her too much in this mess. This way she can't be implicated and called to witness if something happens.

As I'm telling her about Christian knowing me the entire time and how we met wasn't an accident, I notice that she doesn't seem to be shocked. She's calm, too calm, for my liking.

I pull my hand from her.

Wait, "Did you know about this? Do you know Christian and his family?" My voice goes up and octave hoping I'm wrong.

"Ana what I can tell you is that Christian came to see me shortly after your return from Malibu as a patient."

What the hell?

"What I can tell you is that if I thought you were in any type of danger of him I'd one hundred percent tell you to run and never look back."

"You knew?" The accusation is bitter in my belly. Is there one person in my life that hasn't been keeping something from me?

I feel as though I'm just a puppet following along to the beat of someone's show. How did I not know that all these people in my life didn't meet organically? That they were placed to sway me into a certain direction.

"You were thriving Ana. You'd opened up and were living your life like I'd never seen you do before when you came back from Malibu. When Christian told me who he was and that he left this life behind to have you, I made it perfectly clear that you were my main priority. If I thought he was going to hinder any part of your life I would've told you. He knew this and promised me that he would die before anything from his past would touch you. We spoke about his life here, but we mainly spoke about what he could do as your man to make you the happiest."

She pauses briefly so that I could absorb everything she just told me.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you honey but I truly believe that he loves you and wants to give you the world. Did he leave a huge chunk of his family history from you? Yes. Did he keep his true identity from you and only give you a small piece of who he is? Yes. Are you two going to have to work on building that trust back? Yes. But Ana, can you honestly say that this is something that the two of you can't work through once you've had some time to think over then talk to each other about? Are you truly going to walk away because he couldn't help being born into his family? Are you proud of your father growing up? You don't talk or tell anyone about that time or mention your name change that often, if at all."

She leaves the question floating in the air but all I can think about right now is getting away from this crazy house I feel trapped in.

"I want to leave this place." I admit. "I want to go home." I feel like no one is listening to me or understanding the situation around here. Do I even have a home? I moved in with Christian shortly after meeting him.

"Then leave. Get up and walk right out the door." She states easily. "I can guarantee you that you are not a prisoner here."

Did she not listen to me telling her what happened last night when I tried to escape?

A knock on the door cuts my reply off. Grace walks in and takes in the room with a friendly smile on her face.

"I just wanted to come and see how you were and if you'd like to go out for a late lunch in the city? I think a girls day seems to be much needed."

Grace seems like the most nurturing woman on the planet besides Collins. If we'd met under different circumstances I might wish to get to know her more. As it is I'm planning on leaving and not be involved in any mafia related situations.

"I think that sounds lovely don't you Ana?" Collins answers then looks over at me for my response.

"Sure." I offer. My mind is working on overload at the thought of leaving the house.

Grace brings her hands together in a clap. "Wonderful! I'll make the arrangements." She takes her leave just as Christian taps on the doorframe.

"Hi." He says quietly almost unsure if that is the right word to say to me. He stays outside the room filling the entire doorway. "Dr. Fulton is here to get some blood for his files and to restock your inhaler."

I watch as Collins nods and stands from the bed.

"I'll go and help Mrs. Grey with the lunch plans." Collins says to the room then turns towards me bending down. "Offer Christian mercy and grace. He might not have gone about your relationship the standard or correct way, but I do believe that he has your best interest at heart. If after you have thought about everything and see it through his eyes and situation and still can't cope or handle it, then I'll help you in whatever you'd like to do." She cups my cheek giving me a soft smile before taking her leave, but not before halting at the doorframe and speaking with Christian in a low conversation that I can't hear. His body tenses and his spine straightens.

When she steps out Christian closes the door and turns around to face me.

"What'd she say?" I ask wondering if he'll really tell me or change the subject.

"She told me that if I don't turn this around and brings back her happy and loving girl and to fix it this that she'll personally make sure that she helps you run and hide where no one will find you."

I can't help the tiny smirk that forms. I've never seen anyone stand up to Christian the entire time we've been together. Everyone always seems so afraid of him but not her.

Another knock and an older gentleman walks in the door holding a black medical bag.

"We met again, Sweetheart!" This must be Dr. Fulton. "I'm just glad you're awake this time"

My eyebrow raises in confusion.

"Last night you'd passed out from shock and this one was ready to come out is his skin." He chuckles. "Can't say that I've ever seen him like that before."

I watch as he sets out a needle and a few vials on the nightstand.

"You've known Christian a while?" I find myself asking. It's hard to find people who knew him since we were only around each other in California.

He lets out a chuckle. "I've know that boy since he was in diapers wreaking havoc on the entire staff. He'd run through the halls setting off alarms in the middle of the night after he somehow snuck out of his crib." He continues to chuckle with a wetness forming in the corners of his eyes. "His teenager years weren't much better. Christian was always up to something."

My eyes move over to the end of the bed where Christian stands watching us. He has a smirk on his face and is shaking his head as if trying to not to laugh.

"I did have a few rough years, huh."

"A few? My boy, they set up my office down the hall from your room because you never went a day without hurling yourself into something or needing stitches."

"I wasn't that bad."

"Not that bad?" Dr. Fulton gasped as if that was the craziest thing he'd ever heard. Turning back to face me he said, "One time he managed to find the roof access and proceeded to jump off the roof and into the pool. I thought heads were going to roll that day by Mrs. Grey because she had to make a short trip into the city leaving him in the care of his father and Ray. Of course, he was an angel around his Ma, it was only when others were watching him that his mischief came into play. I always knew when Mrs. Grey was away that I was needed."

Christian laughed and it was the first time since all this began that I saw a glimpse of my Christian. It even forced a smile out of me without realizing it.

"Ok, sweetheart, let's get the tough stuff out of the way." Dr. Fulton said bringing his attention back to me. "I'll just need to take some bloodwork to have on file and to get a full workup so that I can better assist you if you should ever need it."

"You mean in case I'm shot like the man last night…"

"Baby," Christian tries to cut in, but Dr. Fulton speaks.

"Well, that was an unfortunate situation." He sighs as though it was a normal event that plays out regularly around here.

He takes my upper arm and ties a band around it. Just before he sticks the needle into the vein I have the worst thought.

"Wait, how do I know if you're really going to take my blood and not inject me with something that will kill me? Or try to change my DNA?" I start to panic as I realize I just let a stranger close enough to me and not question any of this. Isn't this how I got into this ordeal in the first place?

"Baby, I'd never let anyone hurt you. You and Kate watched way too many crime shows." Christian tries.

Dr. Fulton turns to Christian, "You guys did a number on this poor girl in the last twenty-four hours." He bites before turning back to me. "Sweetheart, I swear that I'm not going to harm you in any way shape or form. I know that you've been through a lot over the last day or so, but I can promise that I'm here to help. Medically speaking." He's quick to say. "I'm only going to draw blood and nothing else."

I finally nod and let him take the sample. Once he is finished and puts a Band-Aid over the puncture, he taps my leg and gives a soft smile. "I'm here anytime you need me. I'll text you my number shortly so that you can call me whenever you need it. Also, here are some extra inhalers to keep around here and on you. Please call if you continue to have attacks, there might be something going on if it continues and we'll need to do a more thorough check."

When Dr. Fulton cleans and picks up his things he leans over and presses a light kiss to my forehead. Behind him I hear a low growl and as much as I don't want to feel any which way at this very moment, I feel warmth spread across my chest. It didn't matter where we were if someone of the opposite sex ever even looked in my direction Christian's possessive side came out. Which happened a lot.

"Call if you need anything sweetheart, don't let this young man keep you locked up in the castle too much. Enjoy what Seattle has to offer."

Dr. Fulton retreats out the door leaving me here with just Christian. He quickly makes his way over and starts to examine my arm where the bandage is in the crease of my arm.

"It wasn't painful was it?" His thumb gently slides over the area where the blood was drawn.

"I'm fine, it's not like I've never had my blood taken Christian. I do donate blood a few times a year remember." I can't help the edge in my voice and pull my arm out of his reach.

"You're still mad."

Thank you Captain obvious!

"I'm a lot of things Christian! I'm mad, hurt, sad, but mostly confused." My hands cover my face to try to hold off the headache I know is coming from everything that has happened and still happening. "You have no idea chaos that is running through my head right now. I don't know which way is up or down or if this is some sick and twisted joke that someone decided to play on my life. I'm questioning everything and everyone. All these conversations I'm overthinking that maybe they are just feeding bullshit. And it's a total mindfuck! What I thought was the most stable and happy time of my entire life has been one enormous lie and the person I thought was my rock has been lying to me not only for the last year but has been stalking me for years."

"I know it's been a lot to digest but baby, everything with us has been true and real. There is no faking what we have. I've wanted to tell you so many different times, but I was scared. Afraid that you'd look at me as though I'm not the husband that hung the moon with you. That the thought of you thinking that I was anything but perfect for you was like swallowing cactus. You deserve the best that life has to offer, and I wanted to make sure to give that to you."

"I don't need perfect Christian!" I yell. "I need someone who is completely honest with me. Someone who won't hide things and make me question everything. Trusting that when you say you're going into the office to handle a paperwork mix up that it's really what you're doing. How am I ever going to not question you?"

Christian grasps both of my cheeks in his hands forcing me to look into his eyes.

"I'm never going to keep anything from you ever again. I swear on my life. I will tell you every single thing and never hold back. You want to know if those jeans make your ass look big? I'm going to tell you. You want to know where I'm going if Carson calls? I'll tell you and exactly what I plan to do when I get there. I know once trust is broken that it takes time to get it back and I promise to spend the rest of my life proving to you that you'll never have to question whether I'm telling you the truth. Every day. Just promise me that you won't give up on me or us."

Before I can answer Mrs. Grey and Collins come in.

"Ready to go, Ana?" Mrs. Grey asks.

I nod turning my attention back to Christian who is pleading with his eyes for me to answer him. I'm not even sure I have an answer right now. I need time to think about everything before I can even think about my next move.

Moving swiftly around Christian, I make my way over to them.

"Yeah, sure, let's go."

And for the first time ever since being with Christian, I leave without kissing him goodbye.