Devil May Cry: HelluvaVerse

by believingispowerful7

It's a Devil May Cry (Originally created by CAPCOM) second reboot story set in the universe of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss (Originally created by VivziePop). Dante must team up with I.M.P to destroy Mundus and the C.D (Corrupted Demons) that kills humans and normal demons. This story starts during and after the events of Helluva Boss.

9. Mission 09: Snake In The Goetia

DEVIL MAY CRY:

HELLUVAVERSE

Written by

Charlie Carvette McEvoy

Based on

HELLUVA BOSS

By

Vivienne "Vivziepop" Medrano

Based on

DEVIL MAY CRY

(Video Game Series)

By

CAPCOM

Mission: 09

Snake in the Goetia

(Flashback Sequence)

(Sub-text): Fourteen years ago

Location: Loo Loo Land

Area: Fun House

Dante and Loona were looking for Octavia.

DANTE (Ten Years Old):

Via! Via!

LOONA (Eight Years Old):

Where are you, sis?

Loona turned to Dante.

LOONA (Eight Years Old):

Why would she run off like that?

DANTE (Ten Years Old):

I don't know. But something in that circus tent must've scared her off and she's crying. We gotta find her before my uncle gets worried. But my aunt isn't worried. I wonder why.

Loona spotted Octavia riding in circles in apple-themed rail cars, crying.

LOONA (Eight Years Old):

There she is!

Dante saw Octavia, then he and Loona sat next to her.

DANTE (Ten Years Old):

Via?

Octavia saw Dante and Loona.

OCTAVIA (Five Years Old) (Sobbing):

Dante! Loona! I'm so scared! Very scared!

Octavia hugged Dante, while he was drying her tears with his hand.

DANTE (Ten Years Old):

What's the matter?

OCTAVIA (Five Years Old) (Sobbing):

I was in the circus tent with my parents and the robot clown looks scary! So, I ran away!

Dante comforted Octavia.

DANTE (Ten Years Old):

It okay, Via. Loona and I are here. Some clowns can be scary, especially robot ones.

OCTAVIA (Five Years Old) (Sobbing):

I was hoping my parents will find me, but I saw them fighting with each other! Is it about me?

DANTE (Ten Years Old):

Via, don't think like that. Your parents love you.

OCTAVIA (Five Years Old) (Sobbing):

I know Daddy does, but Mummy doesn't. Why doesn't she love me?

Dante didn't know what to say, but Loona explained to Octavia.

LOONA (Eight Years Old):

Well, if your mum doesn't love you, that's her problem. But Dante loves you. Your uncle loves you and I love you because we're a family. Families always stick together and they'll never loving each other. That's more important than you think.

DANTE:

That's right, Via. Never forget that.

Octavia looked happy after she stopped crying.

OCTAVIA (Five Years Old):

Thank you. I feel much better now.

Dante smiled.

DANTE (Ten Years Old):

Via, what do you say we leave Loo Loo Land now, and then we'll go out to eat?

OCTAVIA (Five Years Old) (Excitedly):

Pizza!

DANTE (Ten Years Old):

You want pizza?

OCTAVIA (Five Years Old) (Excitedly):

Yeah!

LOONA (Eight Years Old):

I heard they serve the Devil May Cry special at The Devil's Pizzeria.

OCTAVIA (Five Years Old) (Excitedly):

I want that!

DANTE (Ten Years Old):

All right. Let's go find my dad and ask him. Come on, Via.

Dante picked Octavia up and carried her. Then he and Loona got out of the rail car, and they were leaving the Fun House. Octavia looked at Dante, while he was carrying her.

OCTAVIA (Five Years Old):

You know, Dante? You look cute when you're happy.

DANTE (Ten Years Old):

Thanks. You're like my little sister.

OCTAVIA (Five Years Old):

And you're like my big brother.

DANTE (Ten Years Old):

I'm Chris Redfield.

OCTAVIA (Five Years Old):

I'm Claire Redfield.

LOONA (Eight Years Old):

And I'm Jill Valantine.

Dante, Loona and Octavia laughed together as they continued leaving the Fun House.

(Present Day Sequence)

Location: Imp City

Area: Paradise (Dante's Summer House)

In the bedroom, Octavia woke up by the sound of smartphone beeping. She stood up, picked up her phone and turn the alarm off. Octavia stretched her arms and yawned, happily.

OCTAVIA:

That dream brought back some memories. Dante was always there for me before he moved to the Living World. But now, me and my dad have been living with him for a week. I better get myself ready.

Octavia got out of her bed, then she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and had a shower. Then she put on her clothes, and she used her hair band on her hair to make a ponytail. Octavia smiled while she was looking at the mirror.

OCTAVIA:

I look good.

Octavia left her room, then she went downstairs and saw Dante on the phone in the living room.

DANTE:

Yeah, my usual pizza. With extra pepperoni with stuff crust cheese. Yeah, rush it. What? A female escort? Forget it! I don't want your pizza or your pussy! Fuck off!

Dante hung up his phone, firmly.

DANTE:

Damn hookers!

Daniel was in the kitchen making breakfast.

DANIEL DOLLARBILL:

I think you've accidentally dialled the nine hundred number, sir.

Dante looked at the phonebook and sighed.

DANTE:

Yeah, I did, Daniel. I'll order the pizza online later.

Dante looked happy when he saw Octavia.

DANTE:

Morning, Via. Did you sleep well?

OCTAVIA:

Better than ever, Dante.

Dante noticed Octavia's ponytail.

DANTE:

And I like your ponytail. You look like Claire Redfield.

Octavia looked blushed.

OCTAVIA:

Glad you noticed.

DANIEL DOLLARBILL:

Morning, Little Via.

Octavia turned to Daniel.

OCTAVIA:

Morning, Uncle Daniel.

DANIEL DOLLARBILL:

You look lovely today. And you're not wearing your black beanie hat.

OCTAVIA:

Well, I feel great without it. And my ponytail makes me look cool. I'm gonna make some coffee.

Daniel gently stopped Octavia and helped her sat on the coach.

DANIEL DOLLARBILL:

Oh, no, dear. Let me get that for you. You had a hard and depressing life. So, you just sit down here, and leave breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, tea and coffee to me.

Octavia smiled, while Daniel went back to the kitchen to make some coffee.

OCTAVIA:

Thank you. I'll just go play my video game.

Octavia turned on the T.V and played Resident Evil 2 on Dante's PlayStation 5.

DANTE:

You're still playing Resident Evil 2, huh?

OCTAVIA:

Yeah. I've finished Clarie's story, but not Leon's. But I know the ending will be like the original version, with a few changes. That game was the last thing your dad gave me.

DANTE:

I know, and we will see him and my mum again after I kill Mundus. But I hope you're not planning to play video games all day.

OCTAVIA:

No, I'm not. I'm going to do some sword training after this. So, I can fight like my character from the Devil May Cry series.

DANTE:

Who?

OCTAVIA:

Lucia.

DANTE:

Lucia. But she was only in Devil May Cry 2.

OCTAVIA:

I know. But the way she fights with her Cutlaseer swords, it was fucking cool!

Octavia sighed sadly.

OCTAVIA:

But I don't have my own Devil Trigger.

DANTE:

Yeah. It only works for me. But your sword and gun skills are very good. It's like you know what to do.

OCTAVIA:

Like I said, I'm a fast learner.

DANTE:

I remembered that.

Daniel came to the living room, while holding a cup of coffee and placed it on the table.

DANIEL DOLLARBILL:

Here you are, dear.

OCTAVIA:

Thanks, Uncle.

Mrs. Mayberry was on the phone at her reception desk.

MRS. MAYBERRY:

All right. I'll tell him. Bye.

Mrs. Mayberry hung up the phone and turned to Dante.

MRS. MAYBERRY:

Dante?

DANTE:

Yes, Matilda.

MRS. MAYBERRY:

We got someone coming to your house today.

DANTE:

Is it a video gamer who wants some hints?

MRS. MAYBERRY:

No. She wants to work with you. She posted me her profile yesterday. Take a look.

Mrs. Mayberry hand Dante the file, then he opened it and read it.

DANTE (Reading):

Barbie Wire. She's an imp demon. She was a circus performer. She likes all Capcom games and she's... Blitzo's twin sister?

MRS. MAYBERRY:

And it also said she was a drug addict before she went to rehab years ago.

DANTE:

I see. But I never knew Blitzo had a twin sister, and I bet they never gotten along, didn't they?

MRS. MAYBERRY:

That's right. Like you and Vergil. She said that to me on phone. And she also said she wants to share her feelings with you. She respects you and your family.

DANTE:

That's very nice of her. Maybe with my help, she might reason with her brother to work with me, and he'll be with my uncle again.

Dante looked sad.

DANTE:

But I doubt that will happen.

MRS. MAYBERRY:

How is your uncle? Is he still depressed?

Dante and Mrs. Mayberry heard the song Writing's on the Wall by Sam Smith coming from upstairs.

DANTE:

Does this answer your question?

MRS. MAYBERRY:

He's been listening to that song for a week now. I'm worried about him.

DANTE:

Me too. But he's not alone anymore. He's living with us.

Daniel walked up to Dante.

DANIEL DOLLARBILL:

I believe he meant he doesn't want to be alone without Blitzo, Master Dante.

DANTE:

I know. But I've called him several times, but he keeps telling me to fuck off. I don't think he's ever gonna sign my contract.

DANIEL DOLLARBILL:

When I.M.P gets out of business, Blitzo will have no choice but to sign it and work with you.

DANTE:

Well, I hope you're right, Daniel.

After the song stopped playing from upstairs, Dante and Daniel saw Stolas who was in his robe walking downstairs, looking depressed. After he sat down in the kitchen, Daniel whispered to Dante.

DANIEL DOLLARBILL (Whispering):

He looks depress, sir. I think he needs some cheering up.

DANTE:

Okay. I'll talk to him.

Dante went to the kitchen to talk to Stolas who's having his cereal on the table.

DANTE:

Morning, Uncle. How did you sleep?

STOLAS (Sadly):

Terrible, darling. All I did was wait for Blitzy to call me, but he didn't. So, I've called him all night, but he never calls me back. And all I get is an hour sleep.

Dante felt sorry for his uncle.

DANTE:

That is terrible. You really do love Blitzo, don't you?

STOLAS (Sadly):

Yes. We had a better life together until he found out that your dad is my brother and you're my nephew. But if he said he hates you and your dad, that means he hates me!

Stolas was crying loudly on the table, while Dante was calming him down.

DANTE:

No, no, no, no! Uncle. Please, don't cry like that.

STOLAS (Crying):

I can't live without my Blitzy! I missed him fucking me! I missed him sucking my cock! And I missed him being so kinky to me! (Yelling): I JUST WANT TO DIE!

Dante looked shocked.

DANTE:

Uncle! Don't say things like that! We don't know if he really hates. I'll tell you what. I'm gonna go to I.M.P today and ask Blitzo if he still loves you and I'll try make him sign my contract.

Stolas stopped crying and looked at his nephew.

STOLAS:

You will?

DANTE:

Yes. Because I can see how much you love him.

Stolas smiled and hugged Dante happily.

STOLAS (Happily):

Oh, thank you, Dante! Thank you! You always knew what I wanted!

Stolas let go of Dante.

DANTE:

Yeah. But I'm not how I'm gonna do it. Blitzo properly won't sign it after I.M.P is out of business.

STOLAS:

He will, my little nephew. I know Blitzy. Once he works with you, he'll realized that he had no reason to hate you. (Seductive): Then he'll have to come back to me, so I can fuck him.

Dante smiled.

DANTE:

Your mind's always dirty when you think about him.

STOLAS:

It's who I am, darling.

Dante put on his purple jacket, put his Ebony and Ivory in his holsters, and put his Rebellon on his back.

DANTE:

Well, I gotta go.

Dante kissed his uncle on the cheek.

DANTE:

See you later, Uncle.

STOLAS:

Goodbye, Dante.

DANIEL DOLLARBILL:

Have a good day, sir.

DANTE:

Thanks, Daniel.

OCTAVIA:

Bye, Dante.

DANTE:

Bye, Via.

Dante was heading to the front door, then he turned to Mrs. Mayberry.

DANTE:

Matilda, would you text me when Barbie Wire gets here, please?

MRS. MAYBERRY:

Certainly.

DANTE:

Thanks.

Dante opened the front door and left the house. Then he went to his car, got in the driver seat and took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Dante looked at the sky.

DANTE:

Don't worry, Mum and Dad. I'll be fine.

Dante went to Poxify on his smartphone and played A Brand New Day song from Capcom Arcade Stadium: Mini Album. Then he put on his sunglasses, started his car and drove off to the city. In the city, all the imps, hellhounds and succubi saw Dante driving by. They all smiled and waving at him. Dante parked his car next to a tall building where I.M.P Headquarters is.

DANTE:

Well, time to meet the boss.

Dante took his sunglasses off, got out of his car and went in the building.

Area: I.M.P Headquarters

Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie and Loona were in the meeting room.

BLITZO:

That half-breed is coming today. He's gonna make me sign his contract.

MOXXIE:

Maybe he won't if you just sign it already.

BLITZO:

And I told you, no fucking way! That Dante thinks he's so cool. With his cool guns, his cool sword. All the hellhounds like him and he acts like the character from that shitty video game!

MILLIE:

You mean you never played it?

BLITZO:

I only saw the walkthrough and it was fucking boring.

Millie rolled her eyes and sighed. Moxxie didn't look so happy.

MOXXIE:

Well, maybe all the hellhounds like Dante because he treats them with respect. And I'm sure Loona would agree with me.

Loona was looking at her smartphone.

LOONA:

He's a fucking dick, Moxxie.

Moxxie looked shocked at Loona.

MOXXIE:

Loona! Dante is...

Moxxie saw Millie making a signal for Don't say it in front of Blitzo. Moxxie looked nervous at Loona.

MOXXIE:

Uh... He's... Um... Fuck you!

BLITZO:

Hey, we don't disagree with Loony here. She knows what's best for her daddy.

Loona looked angry while Blitzo embraced her.

MILLIE:

Well, we need to go easy on him. His dad died a week ago.

BLITZO:

Go easy on him? Go easy on him?! His dad saved Hell and the living world from Mundus, then he was part of Goetia family and now he's up at Heaven with angel bitch wife!

MILLIE:

Don't have any respect of the Sparda family?

BLITZO:

No, and I'm not gonna start now. I'm just gonna talk to him and say no. Cause' I know that half-breed and his dead dad tried to make me sign their fucking contract for weeks. Once we've saved our business, we'll never need that Devil May Cry shit.

MOXXIE:

So, you think wasting Dante's time, will make you feel better.

Blitzo smiled at Moxxie.

BLITZO:

It definitely will.

LOONA:

The reason why Dante's so popular because he's retarded.

Millie looked angry at Loona.

MILLIE:

No, he's not, you bitch!

Loona snarled angrily, while Blitzo told Millie off.

BLITZO:

Do not talk to my receptionist that way! She's sensitive!

LOONA:

Yes, I am!

BLITZO:

Well, I'm gonna wait for that son of dead Sparda in my office, and if he ever calls me a fuckface, I'll rip his contract.

After Blitzo went to his office and closed the door, Loona apologised to Moxxie and Millie.

LOONA:

Sorry, guys. But you know my dad can't find out about me and Dante, yet.

Moxxie looked sad.

MOXXIE:

I know. I'm just sick and tired of Blitzo talking shit about Dante and his dad. I don't know how long I had to keep this up.

Millie tried to cheer up Moxxie.

MILLIE:

Now don't give up, honey. Dante will be here any minute. He'll find the way to make him sign his contract, so we can sign it.

LOONA:

And what if that doesn't work?

MILLIE:

Then we'll have to sign it first. If Dante's okay with that.

Dante opened the door and saw Loona, Moxxie and Millie.

DANTE:

Sorry, guys. The door was unlocked.

As Dante entered the meeting room, Moxxie and Millie looked happy when they saw him.

MILLIE:

Dante! It's good to see you again.

MOXXIE:

How's your uncle and your cousin?

DANTE:

My uncle is still depressed about your boss, and Via is okay for now. She's doing some sword training.

MOXXIE:

Sounds great. But I feel sorry about your uncle.

MILLIE:

Well, he's depressed about Blitzo. And he's also depressed about not seeing your dad because he's not allowed to visit Heaven. But you are.

DANTE:

I know, but it's still not fair for you guys, my uncle, Via and Loona.

Dante saw Loona using her smartphone and walked closer to her.

DANTE (Seductive):

How's my little bad girl?

Loona looked embarrassed as her cheeks turned red.

LOONA:

Dante, I don't think you should do that.

DANTE (Seductive):

Why? Because of your dad? I don't give a fuck about him. I give a fuck about you.

Loona was moaning with pleasure.

LOONA:

Oh, Dante! You always knew what to say to me.

DANTE:

So, what are you looking at your phone?

LOONA:

Oh, it's just some asshole posted a video on PornLube.

DANTE:

You mean PornHub.

LOONA:

No. PornLube. It's Hell's version of PornHub.

Dante read the title of the video.

DANTE (Reading):

Brother & Sister: Sex Camp. That's a weird name.

Dante was watching the video and he looked surprised as he recognised two imps who were having sex in front of everybody.

DANTE:

Is that Moxxie and Millie?!

MOXXIE:

Yeah. We were in disguise at Camp Ivannakummore. I was Moxxine.

MILLIE:

And I was Millerd.

DANTE:

So, Moxxie was pretending to be a girl?

MOXXIE:

That's right. We were investigating the camp counsellor who killed our client, and all the campers didn't like me when I was blending in.

DANTE:

Is it because they say you too fat to be popular?

Loona laughed after Dante insulted Moxxie who didn't look happy.

MOXXIE:

They never say that!

MILLIE:

Actually, honey. They did behind your back before we had sex in front of the campers.

Moxxie looked at Millie.

MOXXIE:

Oh. I never realized.

Moxxie turned to Dante.

MOXXIE:

Anyway, Dante. It happened two years ago, and that when I met Blitzo's twin sister. They never gotten along.

DANTE:

Barbie Wire?

Millie looked surprised.

MILLIE:

How'd you know her name?

DANTE:

Mrs. Mayberry told me she's gonna come to my house to work with me.

MOXXIE:

Barbie is gonna work with you?

DANTE:

Yeah. I've never met her, but I've read her file and it said she likes all Capcom video games.

MILLIE:

You two will make a great team like us. But Blitzo is not gonna like this.

DANTE:

Well, he's gonna have to accept it after he signs my contract. Anyway, where is he?

LOONA:

He's in his office, and I don't think he's gonna sign it.

DANTE:

Oh, I think he will. (Seductive): Because I don't want anything happen to my little bad girl.

Loona growled, sexually.

LOONA (Seductive):

You're so hot, devil boy. (Normal voice): I'm on smoke break at ten minutes.

DANTE:

I'll be back at five. (Seductive): Watching you.

In the office, Blitzo was sitting at his desk, and he saw Dante entering the room and closed the door behind. Blitzo smiled at Dante.

BLITZO:

Ah, Dante. We meet at last.

DANTE:

Hi, Blitzo.

BLITZO:

Take a seat.

Dante sat on a chair, while Blitzo put his feet on his desk.

BLITZO:

Okay, let's cut to the chase. I'm not gonna sign your contract.

DANTE:

You've been delaying this for a week now. You must sign it.

BLITZO:

Let me tell you how things work around here. You kill corrupted demons; I kill humans who killed my clients.

DANTE:

That's exactly how I do my job!

BLITZO:

Yeah, but corrupted demons and humans are two different things! So, you mind my business, and I'll mind yours. Then my clients won't have to pay me to kill the C.D's because I've killed one, and I never wanted to do that again.

DANTE:

But my dad said, if we work together, we can kill Mundus, and bring Heaven and Hell back the way they used to be thousands of years ago.

BLITZO:

Oh, your dad said that. (Yelling): YOUR DAD IS AN ASSHOLE! HE'S AN ASSHOLE! YOU KNOW WHAT AN ASSHOLE IS?! THAT'S WHAT YOUR DAD IS!

Dante didn't look so happy, while Blitzo was insulting about Dante's dad.

BLITZO:

Anyway, I'm glad your parents are in Heaven, and I'll be gladder if you stop contacting me and fuck off!

DANTE:

When you're out of business, you have no choice but to sign my contract. I'll be back.

Dante got up from the chair and was about to leave Blitzo's office.

BLITZO:

Oh, before you go, Dante. I just want to tell you not to flirt with my daughter.

Dante looked angry at Blitzo.

DANTE:

Do you mind if I ask, why?

BLITZO:

Well, I know you're not dating her, and I never want you to. It's just that all the hellhounds are really into you, and it really makes me fucking sick. Every time you show yourself to the she-hellhounds, they lifted their tops up, and start shaking their tits at you. I mean why? What else you wanted them to do to you? Use their titties to smother you? Sucking your dick? Or blow smoke in your face with a big cigar?

Dante looked surprised at Blitzo, then he smiled.

DANTE:

My friends were right about you. You are an asshole.

Dante walked up to Blitzo and started to insult him.

DANTE:

You're being a fuckface.

BLITZO:

Oh, no. Now don't call me fuckface. You know what happens when you call me fuckface.

DANTE:

Well, I'm calling you it now, until you sign my contract. Fuckface. Fuckface. Fuckface!

Blitzo covered his ears with his hands.

BLITZO:

Just as well I can't hear you. It's just as well I can't hear you calling me fuckface. You know what happens when you call me fuckface.

Dante grabbed a felt-tip pen and wrote fuckface in big letters on the whiteboard. Dante took the whiteboard off the wall and show it to Blitzo who got angry after he saw the word fuckface on it.

BLITZO:

Oh, no! Hell no! Didn't I tell you? Didn't I warn you what I would do?

Blitzo took his whiteboard away from Dante and put it on the side. Then he picked up Dante's contract from his desk and was about to tear it up.

DANTE:

No.

BLITZO:

Yes.

DANTE:

No!

BLITZO:

I'm tearing it up.

DANTE:

Don't tear it up.

BLITZO (Cheerful):

I'm tearing it up.

DANTE:

Don't you dare.

BLITZO:

Here I go.

DANTE:

Blitzo, if you tear up my contract, I'm never gonna help you out. Not now, not ever and I fucking mean it.

Loona walked up to the office door and placed her ear on it to hear Dante and Blitzo's argument.

BLITZO:

You think I need your help? You think I can't help myself for jerking everybody off? Well, I'm willing to do anything to keep my business, and I don't want you. Or your shitty weapons and your purple cum hair.

Dante was fed up with Blitzo.

DANTE:

Oh, shut your fucking face, uncle fucker!

Blitzo gasped, while he looked shocked.

BLITZO:

It was you. You vandalised my billboard last week!

DANTE:

That's right.

BLITZO:

Why the hell would you do that?

Loona looked scared in the meeting room, but in the office room, Dante lied to Blitzo.

DANTE:

Because you broke my uncle's heart. He loves you and you gave him what he wanted. And I don't wanna say this, but he misses you fucking him.

Blitzo sighed.

BLITZO:

I'm sorry about this, Dante, but you need to face the truth. I never loved your uncle. When I was a kid, my dad told me to pretend to be friends with him and steal his stuff for money. Then four years ago, I snuck into his palace to fuck him because your uncle is madly in love with me.

Blitzo showed Dante the grimoire.

BLITZO:

This book is all I ever wanted, and thanks to my break-up, I finally get to keep it. So, if I ever see your uncle again, I will cut his dick off and shove up his fucking ass! (Angrily): Because I never want to see that cum-eating, bird-shit, motherfuckin', bitch-ass cunt ever again!

Dante looked shocked, then angry.

DANTE:

My uncle will be devastated if he heard you say that!

BLITZO:

Well, I'm glad he's not in my life anymore. And I had a feeling, why you really vandalized my billboard.

Loona looked shocked, while Dante looked nervous.

DANTE:

You do?

BLITZO:

Yeah. You only did that...

Loona kicked the door, angrily, entered the office and grabbed Dante by the coat.

LOONA:

All right, asshole! You're outta here!

Loona dragged Dante out of the office, while Blitzo smiled and followed them.

BLITZO:

Thanks, Loony. That asshole was pissing me off.

LOONA:

Stay here, Dad. You don't wanna see this.

Loona closed the door after she and Dante left the meeting room. Blitzo turned to Moxxie and Millie.

BLITZO:

That's my daughter.

In the hall, Loona grabbed Dante's face and kissed him passionately.

LOONA:

Sorry, Dante. I didn't want my dad to find out about us, yet.

DANTE:

That's okay. I'm glad you dragged me out.

LOONA:

But he'll be watching us. So, play along.

Dante looked confused.

DANTE:

Play what along?

Loona saw Blitzo through the window, then she quickly bit Dante's neck, while he moaned in pleasure.

DANTE:

Ah! Oh! Loony, you're so bad!

Dante looked surprised because he knew what Loona meant by playing along.

DANTE:

Oh, wait! I get it!

Dante tried to push Loona away, while he was pretending to frighten.

DANTE:

Ah! Get off me, bitch!

In the meeting room, Blitzo, Moxxie and Millie were watching Dante and Loona fighting at the window. Blitzo cheered at Loona.

BLITZO:

That's right, Loony! Scratch his face! Bite his ass! Cut his balls off!

Moxxie and Millie were whispering to each other.

MOXXIE (Whispering):

They're not really fighting, are they?

MILLIE (Whispering):

No, but this looks hot!

Loona pounced Dante to the floor, and Blitzo believed Loona was choking Dante.

BLITZO:

Yes, Loony! Choke him, till his eyes pop out!

In the hall, Loona wasn't choking Dante, she was French kissing him.

LOONA:

Tear up my top!

DANTE:

What?

LOONA:

Just do it!

Dante ripped Loona's crop top, then she slapped Dante's face. Loona got up from the floor and pretended to be angry at Dante.

LOONA (Angrily):

If I ever catch you with my boss again, I'm gonna rip your fucking balls off and shove them in your fucking mouth! You got it?!

Loona smiled, then leaned closer to Dante and whispered to him.

LOONA (Whispering):

I'll see you again tonight.

Loona winked at Dante, while he was smiling, got up from the floor and start to pretend to be angry as well.

DANTE:

Well, fuck you, bitch! I never like your dad and his fucking fuckface.

After Dante went to the elevator, Loona went back to the meeting room, pretending to look injured.

LOONA:

That'll teach him.

Blitzo looked worried.

BLITZO:

Loony, what did he do to you?

LOONA:

I'm fine, Dad. I did what I had to do.

Loona sat at the table and Blitzo looked happy.

BLITZO:

Well, that will be the last we'll see that half-breed asshole.

Blitzo placed Dante's contract on the table.

BLITZO:

Loony, I want you to bury that contract outside and shit on it. So, no one, including Dante will find it. I'm going back to my office to please myself.

After Blitzo went back to his office and closed the door behind him, Moxxie turned to Loona.

MOXXIE:

He didn't sign it, didn't he?

Loona looked sad.

LOONA:

Sorry, Moxxie. I had to do something because Blitzo almost figured out why Dante vandalized his billboard. So, no luck.

MILLIE:

Well, I guess we're gonna sign it without him.

MOXXIE:

Are you sure about this, Millie?

MILLIE:

Hell, yeah! Like I said before, Killing C.D's is way better than killing humans.

Millie was flirting with Moxxie.

MILLIE:

And you did tell my parents we signed it, Moxxie. They might wanna see it someday.

Millie licked Moxxie's face, and he was blushing.

MOXXIE:

Whoa! You do have a point there, honey.

Loona smiled.

LOONA:

Fuck it. Let's sign it.

Loona, Moxxie and Millie signed their names on Dante's contract. Moxxie felt relieved.

MOXXIE:

Phew! Now, I don't have to worry anymore.

LOONA:

I gotta go.

Loona took Dante's contract off the table, rolled it up and went to the door.

MOXXIE:

Are you gonna give the contract back to Dante?

LOONA:

Not yet. I'm going to Stylish Occult to make myself look bad. He loves me being bad. See ya.

Loona left the meeting room and closed the door behind her. Dante left the tall building and went outside.

DANTE:

My Loony is a good biter. At least my neck is healing.

Dante came to a halt when he saw Vergil standing next to his brother's car.

VERGIL:

Hello, brother.

Dante looked angry.

DANTE:

Vergil. I had a feeling you will come.

VERGIL:

You don't seem very happy to see me.

DANTE:

How could I? You killed our mum, and our dad, you son of a bitch!

VERGIL:

I'm so sorry to hear that. I just came here because you've become the best C.D hunter and you've been protecting Hell and the living world. How good for you.

Dante looked confused.

DANTE:

How good for you? Wait a minute. Vergil would never say that to me.

Dante looked surprised.

DANTE:

Grandpa Paimon?

Vergil smiled and revealed himself as Paimon.

PAIMON:

Surprise!

DANTE (Happily):

Grandpa!

Dante ran up to his grandfather and hugged him. Paimon hugged him back.

DANTE:

I haven't seen you since I was a kid! Where have you been?

PAIMON:

I've been busy running a lot of errands over the years, but I've always watched over you. And I feel sorry for what happened to your father.

DANTE:

That's okay. Thanks. So, what's brings you to Hell?

PAIMON:

I just come to see if my son's all right. I heard he's very depressed.

DANTE:

Yeah. His boyfriend dumped him, and my aunt, she was kidnapped by Mundus.

PAIMON:

I see. I also heard that my son and my granddaughter are living with you.

DANTE:

That's right. Octavia is doing very well in her training, and your son is listening to Sam Smith songs.

PAIMON:

Ah, yes. He loves that human. Would you mind escort me to your mansion, grandson? I like to see how you're doing.

Dante was thinking.

DANTE:

Well, I don't know.

Dante's smartphone was vibrating in his coat pocket. He took out and saw a text message from Daniel. It said, Mrs. Wire has arrived, Master Dante. Come back as soon as you can. Dante looked at his grandfather.

DANTE:

Well, you're in luck. I need to get back home. I'll drive you there.

Dante opened the car doors and let his grandpa sit in the passenger seat, while sat in the driver seat. They both closed the car doors.

DANTE:

I have some people living there, grandpa. Mrs. Mayberry, my schoolteacher. She's a receptionist. Vortex is a weapons expert. And Daniel Dollarbill...

PAIMON:

You're human butler?

DANTE:

Yes. And Lady Luck. She's a djinn who makes wishes.

PAIMON:

Any wish?

DANTE:

Yes. Except corrupted ones. Like killing, make anyone to have sex and being back the dead.

Paimon smiled.

PAIMON:

Hmm. I guess I had to be careful then. To your mansion, please.

As Dante started his car and drove off, he noticed an antique necklace that Paimon was wearing.

DANTE:

Where did you get that necklace, Grandpa?

PAIMON:

It's been in the family for generations, Dante. I only wear it for special occasions. (Sinister): Very special.

Area: Paradise (Dante's Summer House)

At the reception desk, Mrs. Mayberry was interviewing with Barbie Wire.

MRS. MAYBERRY:

I'm so glad you could make it, Ms. Wire. My boss read your profile you sent me, and he found it interesting. But I need to ask you one important question. What's your favourite Capcom video game?

BARBIE WIRE:

Well, if you must know, my favourite video game is Street Fighter. I've bought the sixth game a few weeks ago. It came out last year.

Mrs. Mayberry smiled.

MRS. MAYBERRY:

Good! Street Fighter is one of the right five answers.

BARBIE WIRE:

Are the rest of the answers, Devil May Cry, Resident Evil, Dead Rising and Mega Man?

MRS. MAYBERRY:

Yes. And I have also notice on your profile that you haven't gotten along with your brother, Blitzo.

BARBIE WIRE:

And like I said on the phone, I would rather share that information with your boss. It's kinda personal.

MRS. MAYBERRY:

I know.

After Stolas left the bathroom, he saw Barbie Wire's shadow on the wall. Stolas looked happy because he thought it was Blitzo.

STOLAS:

Blitzy?!

Stolas ran towards the shadow.

STOLAS:

I had a feeling you'll come b...

Stolas looked surprised and sad when he saw Barbie Wire.

STOLAS:

Oh. It's you, Barbie.

BARBIE WIRE:

Hi, Your Highness.

STOLAS:

You don't have to call me that anymore. I've left the throne. For a second there, I thought I saw your brother.

BARBIE WIRE:

I know what happened, Stolas. I'm very sorry.

MRS. MAYBERRY:

Mrs. Wire, Dante isn't here right now. So, you'll have to wait for him.

Mrs. Mayberry saw Dante parking his car at the window.

MRS. MAYBERRY:

Well, that was quick.

Dante opened the front door, then he and Paimon went in the house.

PAIMON:

So, that's how you've got your demon form?

DANTE:

Yeah, I've died for a few minutes, and I've saved my auntie's life.

Stolas looked surprised when he saw his dad with Dante.

STOLAS:

Father?

PAIMON:

Stolas! My son. The owl boy.

Paimon walked up to his son.

PAIMON:

I was a little disappointed when I heard that you left the throne. Being a Goetia prince is a huge responsibility.

Stolas looked sad.

STOLAS:

I know, Father. But I had to leave because I don't like being alone.

PAIMON:

You have your butlers to take care of you.

DANTE:

He meant without Blitzo. Excuse me, Grandpa. But your son hasn't been himself since his boyfriend left him. That's why I decided to let him and Octavia to move in with me. It's what my dad would've wanted.

PAIMON:

Ah, yes. I understand. Well, I'm sure we could work things out, because I know that everything will be fine. (Sinister): Right, son.

Paimon's necklace was glowing red, then Stolas looked happy.

STOLAS:

Everything's fine, Dante. We'll work things out.

Dante looked confused, while Paimon smiled.

PAIMON:

Wonderful. I'll let you continue with your business, Dante, and I'm glad that you're taking care of my son. Now, if you excuse me, I'm going outside to smoke.

Dante saw his grandpa heading to the garden.

DANTE:

It's your health.

Dante noticed his uncle was looking dizzy.

STOLAS:

What just happened? Where's Father?

DANTE:

He went outside to smoke. Are you feeling all right?

Stolas felt confused.

STOLAS:

Uh... I'm just gonna go upstairs and lie down for a bit, Nephew.

Dante was worried, while he saw his uncle walking up the stairs.

DANTE:

Something's not right.

Mrs. Mayberry introduced Dante to Barbie Wire.

MRS. MAYBERRY:

Dante. This is Barbie Wire. She arrived here ten minutes ago, and her favourite video game is Street Fighter.

Dante and Barbie Wire shook hands.

DANTE:

Hello, Ms. Wire.

Barbie Wire smiled at Dante.

BARBIE WIRE:

Hey, Dante. It's nice to meet you.

DANTE:

So, you're a Street Fighter fan, huh? Who's your favourite fighter?

BARBIE WIRE:

Chung-Li.

DANTE:

Really? Mine's Ken Masters.

BARBIE WIRE:

Is his last name Bates?

Dante looked surprised, while Barbie Wire was laughing.

BARBIE WIRE (Laughing):

Ha, ha, ha, ha! I'm just fucking with ya!

Dante laughed as well.

DANTE (Laughing):

Oh, I get it! That's a good one!

Lady Luck magically appeared in front of Dante and Barbie Wire.

LADY LUCK:

Goooooood Morning, motherfuckers!

DANTE:

Lady, it's 1:30PM.

LADY LUCK:

Shit! I always missed breakfast.

Daniel was in the kitchen.

DANIEL DOLLARBILL:

I've left it in the fridge for you, Ms. Luck.

LADY LUCK:

Thanks, DB. So, Dan. What's all the laughing I've been...

Lady Luck looked surprised when she saw Barbie Wire, and they were both became in love with each other.

LADY LUCK:

Hi. I'm Lady Luck.

BARBIE WIRE:

Barbie Wire. Have we met?

LADY LUCK:

No. I'm just lucky to meet you.

Barbie Wire giggled.

BARBIE WIRE:

I guess I am, too. What kind of a demon are you?

Dante gently interrupted Barbie Wire and Lady Luck.

DANTE:

Barbie. Lady is a djinn, and she grants wishes.

BARBIE WIRE:

Any wish?

LADY LUCK:

Any, except three corrupted ones. Killing everybody, except C.D's. Being back the dead and make anyone fuck with anybody. (Seductive): But, if you wanna fuck me, you come and get me.

Barbie Wire smiled.

BARBIE WIRE:

Whoa! You're very horny.

LADY LUCK:

I'm also a party demon and a DJ.

DANTE:

That's true. Anyway, Barbie, I'll pay you a thousand a week, but I don't have a spare room for you.

BARBIE WIRE:

That's okay. I was hoping to share a room with Lady. If she's okay with it.

LADY LUCK:

I won't be okay with it. (Happily): I'll be fucking great with it!

Lady Luck used her magic to open the fridge and levitated her breakfast to her hand, while Daniel closed the fridge.

LADY LUCK:

I'm gonna go back to my room to watch stories. (Seductive): I'll be waiting for you, Barbie. (Normal Voice): Bye!

After Lady Luck magically disappeared, Barbie Wire's cheeks went red.

BARBIE WIRE:

She's fucking hot!

DANTE:

Looks like you got yourself a perfect roommate.

Daniel walked up to Barbie Wire and introduce himself.

DANIEL DOLLARBILL:

Good afternoon, Ms. Wire. I'm Daniel Dollarbill. The butler of the Sparda family.

BARBIE WIRE:

Yeah, I know who you are. And I also saw you as Alfred in Batman & Robin series.

DANTE:

You've watched our show?

BARBIE WIRE:

Hell yeah! It's way better than the movie version.

DANTE:

I know. Anyway, Daniel used to work with the Queen of England before he met my dad.

DANIEL DOLLARBILL:

I was her loyal butler before she passed away. God rest her soul. I went to her funeral after I've reunited with Master Dante and his father. It was beautiful.

Barbie Wire turned to Dante.

BARBIE WIRE:

Dante, can we talk somewhere in private? Just you and me.

Dante knew what Barbie Wire was talking about.

DANTE:

Oh, of course.

Dante turned to Daniel.

DANTE:

Daniel, would you prepare lunch for us? I'm taking Barbie to the training room.

DANIEL DOLLARBILL:

Certainly. The usual?

DANTE:

Yes.

DANIEL:

Very good, Sir. I'll call the Pizzeria. Oh, by the way. You might want to keep an eye on your grandpa. There's something strange about him.

DANTE:

I will. Thanks.

Dante and Barbie Wire left the living room, and they were having a conversation while heading to the training room.

DANTE:

So, Barbie. Now that we're alone. Tell me how you feel about your brother?

BARBIE WIRE:

You wanna know how I feel? All right. I fuckin' hate him!

DANTE:

You hate him? Why?

BARBIE WIRE:

Because he ruined my life. I've been trying to get away from him for years, but he wants to reconnect with me. (Angrily): Every time I see his stupid fucking face, I get fucking mad! It's his fault I've ended up in rehab! So, I've told him never to find me again!

DANTE:

It sounds like you never wanted to see him again. But you didn't mean it, right?

BARBIE WIRE:

Fuck, no! I'm just trying to make him feel guilty.

DANTE:

For ruining your life?

BARBIE WIRE:

For being super jealous of you and your dad! He always talks shit about you, he never respects your parents, he always wants to be better than your dad, and he gets pissed off when he knows you're a hellhound lover! I've told him to stop, but he never listens to me. That's why I fuckin' hate him!

Dante looked surprised.

DANTE:

Did you tell him that?

BARBIE WIRE:

How could I? He's being an asshole. I thought he had changed when he lived with your uncle. But Blitzo's been more than an asshole because he found out your dad is your uncle's brother! So, he left him!

DANTE:

I already knew that.

Barbie Wire calmed herself down and looked sad.

BARBIE WIRE:

Look. I know it's not your dad's fault. It's just my life went to deep shit after my girlfriend left me.

DANTE:

Left you for who?

BARBIE WIRE:

She didn't say. All she said to me was, we're done, you junkie bitch, and that really hurts me. During my depression, I got evicted from my apartment, and I was to go back on H-8, until I saw your flyer.

DANTE:

H-8. I heard that's a strong addiction to demons.

BARBIE WIRE:

And the only reason why I wanted to work with you because I need you to help my brother before he...

Barbie Wire sighed sadly.

BARBIE WIRE:

Becomes like your brother.

DANTE:

Did Blitzo killed your mum?

BARBIE WIRE:

No, of course not! What I meant was, I don't want to become corrupted like your brother. I know he killed your mum and I felt sorry for you.

Barbie Wire started to cry.

BARBIE WIRE (Crying):

I just wanted Blitzo to respect you, so I won't have to hate him anymore.

Dante looked sad, then he hugged Barbie Wire.

DANTE:

It's okay. I understand how you feel, and I'm glad you made the right choice.

Dante looked at Barbie Wire.

DANTE:

Working with me will help you feel better, and I'll try to do whatever I can to help your brother. I promise.

Barbie Wire smiled, while she dried her tears.

BARBIE WIRE:

Thank you, Dante. I really appreciate you. Oh, I heard you and my niece are back together. How is she?

DANTE:

Loona's fine. She forgot about me for four years, but now our relationship is back to normal.

Barbie Wire looked worried.

BARBIE WIRE:

You mean... She doesn't know?

Dante looked confused.

DANTE:

Know what?

Barbie Wire sighed.

BARBIE WIRE:

Dante, before Blitzo accidently burn the circus, he and I were spying on you and Loona. He's been telling me how much he wants to be a dad to her and making her forget about you. I thought he was joking, but I realized he was serious because the last time I've saw my niece, she never mentioned anything about you and your dad.

DANTE:

Wait a minute. Are you saying Loona forgot about our relationship because of Blitzo?

BARBIE WIRE:

Yes.

Dante looked shocked.

DANTE:

So, he's responsible for keeping her in the Adoption Center after my dad drop her back. How could he do that?! He can't make my girlfriend forget about me. I'm gonna tell Loona right now!

Dante was about to get his smartphone to call Loona, until Barbie Wire stopped him.

BARBIE WIRE:

No! It's better if my brother tells her himself.

DANTE:

I don't think he would, Barbie.

BARBIE WIRE:

He will. Trust me.

Dante smiled.

DANTE:

Okay. Well, come on. The training room is over there.

Barbie Wire followed Dante to the training room.

Area: The Training Room

Octavia sliced the dummies in pieces with her Cutlaseer swords and threw daggers at them. Dante and Barbie Wire entered the room and were watching Octavia training.

DANTE:

This is Octavia. She's...

Barbie Wire interrupted Dante.

BARBIE WIRE:

I know. I know. She's your uncle's daughter and your cousin. Everyone in Hell knows that.

Octavia stopped training and saw Dante and Barbie Wire. She walked up to them.

OCTAVIA:

Hey, Dante. I was busy training.

DANTE:

I can see that, and you were great.

OCTAVIA:

I told you I'm a fast learner. And who is this?

Dante introduced Octavia to Barbie Wire.

DANTE:

This is Barbie Wire, Blitzo's twin sister. She's gonna work with us.

BARBIE WIRE:

Nice to meet you, Princess.

OCTAVIA:

I'm not a princess anymore. Call me, Via.

Barbie Wire noticed Octavia's ponytail.

BARBIE WIRE:

Wow! I love your hair. You like Claire Redfield.

Octavia smiled.

OCTAVIA:

Thanks, Barbie.

BARBIE WIRE:

Hey, call me, Barb.

DANTE:

Via, Grandpa Paimon is in my house. But he went out to the garden to smoke.

Octavia sighed.

OCTAVIA:

I don't like him doing that but is nice to know he's here. I'll go see him, after I've finished my training. Thanks, Dante. See you later, Barb.

When Octavia went back to her training, Barbie Wire turned to Dante.

BARBIE WIRE:

Your cousin looks happy.

DANTE:

She's always with me, her dad and Loona. Come. I'll introduce you to Vortex at the Armory.

BARBIE WIRE:

You have an Armory?

At the Armory, Vortex was at his desk talking to his girlfriend, Beelzebub on his smartphone.

VORTEX:

I know, Bee. He'll be happy to see you again. I'll make sure to tell him you want to work with him.

Vortex saw Dante and Barbie Wire walking towards him.

VORTEX:

I gotta go. He's here. See you later.

Vortex hung up his phone.

VORTEX:

Dante, my man!

DANTE:

Hey, Tex.

Dante and Vortex shook each other's hand.

VORTEX:

Let me guess. Blitzo didn't sign your contract, didn't he?

DANTE:

No, he didn't. He's just being an asshole.

BARBIE WIRE:

Hey! He's, my brother. I get to say that.

DANTE:

Vortex, this is Barbie Wire.

VORTEX:

I know who she is. Verosika told me all about her. They were very close in rehab.

Dante looked surprised at Barbie Wire.

DANTE:

Verosika Mayday was your girlfriend?

Barbie Wire looked sad.

BARBIE WIRE:

Yeah. We became lovers because we both hated Blitzo, until she broke my heart.

Dante placed his hand on Barbie Wire's shoulder.

DANTE:

Barbie, I'm sorry. How did this happen?

BARBIE WIRE:

She said, I still care about my brother, and she's right. I guess she hates him more than I hate him.

DANTE:

Don't worry. We're gonna help you get through this. But if you had any problems, we will always be by your side.

Barbie Wire smiled at Dante, until Vortex cleared his throat.

VORTEX:

Ahem! Dante, can talk to you for minute?

DANTE:

Okay. Barbie, why don't you take a look at the weapons on the walls. I need to chat with my friend.

BARBIE WIRE:

All right.

While Barbie Wire was looking at the guns that were hanging on the walls, Dante walked up to Vortex.

DANTE:

What's up, Tex?

VORTEX:

I was on the phone talking to my girl, Bee.

DANTE:

Queen Bee? From the Gluttony Ring?

VORTEX:

She's throwing a party in her place tomorrow night, and she wants you and Loona to be there.

Dante looked nervous.

DANTE (Nervously):

Uh, I haven't been to her mansion since my dad dropped Loona back to the Adoption Center. I mean Bee is a great singer. She gave everyone junk food like cotton candy, and... and...

VORTEX:

And you fucked her.

DANTE:

Hey!

Dante started to panic, while he closed Vortex's mouth with his hand.

DANTE:

Keep it down, will you. You want everyone in Hell to know?

VORTEX:

Chillax, Dante. Everybody knows.

DANTE:

But not Loona. I made a big mistake because Loona is the first Hellhound I ever love, and she always will be.

BARBIE WIRE:

Dante, these guns look familiar. Where do you get them?

Dante was about to talk, until Vortex butt in and walked up to Barbie Wire.

VORTEX:

I'll answer that, Ms. Wire. I didn't get them. I built them.

BARBIE WIRE:

You built them?

VORTEX:

That's right. There's three selection of guns you might recognise. The first selection is from Devil May Cry. The second one is Resident Evil, and third, Mega Man.

Barbie Wire wasn't convinced.

BARBIE WIRE:

I recognised all the guns, but how could you build them? I mean the Mega Blaster and Axl Bullet pistols over there are not real.

VORTEX:

They are with these babies.

Vortex showed Barbie Wire some red orbs.

VORTEX:

These are red orbs. After I've built the guns, I pour the orbs inside, and boom! Those guns became a reality. Allow me to demonstrate.

Vortex picked up torch and placed it on his desk.

BARBIE WIRE:

A fucking torch?

VORTEX:

Watch.

Vortex pour some red orbs on the torch, and it magically transformed into a laser sword. Barbie Wire looked surprised.

BARBIE WIRE:

What the hell is that?

VORTEX:

It's a laser sword from Mega Man X and Zero, Z-Saber.

BARBIE WIRE:

Wasn't that weapon in Dead Rising?

VORTEX:

Yes, but that was before that.

Barbie Wire picked up the Z-Saber, pressed the button on it and a long blue laser came out of it.

BARBIE WIRE:

Wow! I heard that was in a movie about wars and stars.

DANTE:

That's where Capcom got the idea from, but with a different name.

Barbie Wire turned off the Z-Saber.

BARBIE WIRE:

Thank you for making that for me.

Vortex gently took the Z-Saber away from Barbie Wire and gave it to Dante.

VORTEX:

Oh, I'm sorry. I only made this for Dante. But I can make another one for you. I just need to buy another torch. So, for now, you can choose any guns on the walls. But first...

Vortex picked up the Mega Blaster from the wall and gave it to Dante.

VORTEX:

Dante, I would like you to use this Mega Blaster to shoot that target dummy over there.

Dante and Barbie Wire saw the target dummy.

BARBIE WIRE:

That's a shit-looking dummy.

Vortex showed Dante the knob switch on the Mega Blaster.

VORTEX:

This knob switch will increase the power. But I strongly advice you not to set it to high setting. There are still one or two things I need to fix. Set it to medium setting.

DANTE:

All right.

Dante wore the Mega Blaster and set it to medium setting.

VORTEX:

Now, to use the Mega Blaster is...

DANTE:

Hold the trigger and let go after is fully charged?

Vortex smiled.

VORTEX:

You're good, man.

Dante aimed the Mega Blaster at the target dummy, then it was charging up to a blue energy ball, while he was holding the trigger. Vortex turned to Barbie Wire.

VORTEX:

I stand clear if I were you.

Barbie Wire stood next to Vortex, while Dante released the blue energy ball from the Mega Blaster and blew up the target dummy. Barbie Wire looked surprised, while Dante looked happy.

DANTE:

Fucking brilliant, Tex! Moxxie will love that.

VORTEX:

So, he's a Mega Man fan.

DANTE:

That's what he told me.

Dante turned to Barbie Wire.

DANTE:

So, which weapon you're gonna choose, Barb?

Barbie Wire was thinking.

BARBIE WIRE:

Well, I think I want those two guns. Luce & Ombra.

Dante looked at his dad's automatic pistols on the wall.

DANTE:

Uh, you can't have them. They belong to my dad, and I've ready planned to give them to Loona.

BARBIE WIRE:

Oh, okay. I'll just take the Axl Bullets.

Barbie Wire took the Axl Bullet pistols off the wall and held them with her hands.

DANTE:

You sure you know how to use them?

BARBIE WIRE:

By brother's been handling guns for years, so, I do know how to use them.

DANTE:

Okay, I didn't mean to judge you.

Dante was pointing to the second target dummy that was next to the first one.

DANTE:

There's another target dummy over there that you can shoot. Just shoot the dummy. Show me what you got.

Barbie Wire used the Axl Bullet pistols to shoot the second target dummy rapidly and that made Dante jump. Barbie Wire stopped shooting her pistols.

BARBIE WIRE:

Here's what I've fucking got.

Dante stood still and smiled at Barbie Wire.

DANTE:

Feel better?

BARBIE WIRE:

Yeah, I do.

DANTE:

Great. Well, I better show you where Lady's room is.

BARBIE WIRE:

Actually, I'll find her myself. You go and do whatever the hell you're doing. I might get luckier if she eats my pussy and lets me squeeze her big tities.

Dante and Vortex watched Barbie Wire leaving the Armory.

VORTEX:

Looks like she's gonna fuck her.

DANTE:

Yeah. Vortex, can you make some new guns like the ones from Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League?

VORTEX:

If I can find enough red orbs, yes. Why?

DANTE:

Because I've played the game, and I fucking love it! And that will Moxxie and Millie very happy.

Vortex chuckled.

VORTEX:

All right, man. I'll do it. My dad would've been happy that I made weapons for you like he did for your dad. I missed my old man so much.

DANTE:

Did he die?

VORTEX:

No. He went missing after you moved in with your dad in Hell. My life was shit, until Verosika hired me to work with her.

DANTE:

But why did you quit?

VORTEX:

Because I saw your brother years ago. He broke us out from the police station after he killed all the cops during Spring Break. Verosika is in love with him and they're both working for Mundus. That's why I quit last week.

Dante looked surprised.

DANTE:

You've quit because you've saw Vergil?! Well, that explains why you've made the right decision.

VORTEX:

I never told your brother we're friends.

DANTE:

And I'm glad you didn't. But don't worry. I'll find your dad after I destroy Mundus. I promise.

Vortex smiled after Dante placed his hand on his shoulder.

DANTE:

Now would you excuse me, I've gotta go check on grandpa. And Thanks for the Z-Saber.

VORTEX:

Wait, Dante. I've ordered your strawberry sundae and put it in the fridge.

DANTE:

Thanks, Tex. I'll have it later.

Dante opened the door and left the Armory. Dante was heading to the door, until Vortex stopped him. At the upstairs hallway, Barbie Wire found a door that said, Lady Luck's Room of P&T. Barbie Wire smiled.

BARBIE WIRE:

I had a feeling I know what that means.

Barbie Wire slowly opened the door and entered Lady Luck's bedroom. Inside of the room was filled with purple lights, a disco ball, and posters of naked she-imps. Barbie Wire saw Lady Luck sitting on her bed playing Street Fighter 6 on PlayStation 5.

LADY LUCK:

Yeah! Kick his ass, Chung Li.

Lady Luck noticed that Barbie Wire was in the room with her.

LADY LUCK:

Oh, hey, Barb. I'm just playing Street Fighter 6 and I've beaten Ryu.

BARBIE WIRE:

I didn't know you like Street Fighter?

LADY LUCK:

Like it? I fuckin' love it! It has cool levels, new characters, and it has some good shit music.

BARBIE WIRE:

Yeah. The theme song is fucking hot.

Barbie Wire was looking at the screen from Lady Luck's T.V.

BARBIE WIRE:

Are you playing as Chung-Li? My favourite fighter?

LADY LUCK:

Hell, yeah! She's my favourite, too. You wanna play with me?

Barbie Wire looked sad while she sat on the bed.

BARBIE WIRE:

I love to, but I'm still thinking about my ex.

LADY LUCK:

Oh. Did you tell Dan how you feel?

BARBIE WIRE:

Not all of it.

Lady Luck paused the video game and sat next to Barbie Wire.

LADY LUCK:

Girl, you can tell me the rest. Pop off!

BARBIE WIRE:

First, her name is Verosika Mayday.

LADY LUCK:

That seductive bitch. Hate her.

BARBIE WIRE:

I met her at rehab, then we both became lovers because we both hate Blitzo. But she broke up with me because I still care about him.

LADY LUCK:

Well, that shows you that slut doesn't love you for you. She only loved you for hating your brother, like my dad only loved me for being his slave. Don't let that fucker Mayday make you feel bad. You should be furious for letting that succu-bitch ruin your life by breaking your motherfucking heart.

Barbie Wire realised what Lady Luck said, then she looked angry.

BARBIE WIRE:

You're right. Verosika is a beautiful singer, and she make humans want to fuck her. (Angrily): But she only loved me because I hated Blitzo! I've spent two years of my life with her, and she let me sing a duet. But all this time she never loved me for me!

Lady Luck encouraged Barbie Wire.

LADY LUCK:

That's right! Unleashed your true feelings, Barbie Girl! (Barking): Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!

BARBIE WIRE (Angrily):

If I ever see that whore again, I will rip her horns off and stick them in her fucking throat, so she never had to sing again!

BARBIE WIRE, LADY LUCK (Unison):

Fuck her!

Barbie Wire looked surprised and felt relieved.

BARBIE WIRE:

Wow! That felt good.

LADY LUCK:

You, see? You don't need that bitch. You need a friend who loves you for who you are. A friend who really cares about you. A friend like... me.

BARBIE WIRE:

Is that the name of a song?

LADY LUCK:

Ah, who gives a shit. What I'm trying to say is, I care about you, and I love you. Because you're very cute and you have a tight pussy.

Barbie Wire smiled at Lady Luck.

BARBIE WIRE:

Let me ask you something. On your door, does P and T stand for Pussy and Tities?

LADY LUCK:

Yes.

Barbie Wire came closer to Lady Luck, then grabbed and squeezed her boobs.

BARBIE WIRE:

Then, I love you too, because you're very magical and you have big tities.

Lady Luck was moaning with pleasure.

LADY LUCK (Moaning):

Oh, that feels so good, Barb. What are we doing?

Barbie Wire and Lady Luck looked into each other's eyes.

BARBIE WIRE (Seductive):

Why don't we just fuck and find out.

Barbie Wire and Lady Luck kissed each other passionately and started to have sex.

Area: Dante's Garden.

Paimon was sitting at the table smoking a cigar, then he saw Dante walking towards him, and sat at the table with him.

PAIMON:

Dante, your garden looks fabulous. But where's all the plants?

DANTE:

I don't have any, Grandpa. But Stolas is planning to grow some whenever he's ready.

PAIMON:

Like when his boyfriend comes back to him.

DANTE:

Yes.

Paimon took Dante's hand and held on to it gently.

PAIMON:

Anyway, Son of Spartan...

DANTE:

Sparda.

PAIMON:

Whatever. I appreciate for what you did, but you need to understand this. Stolas and Octavia must go back to the palace. The Goetia family are not very happy that they moved in with you. Octavia is the heir to the throne, and my son needs to finish his duties to serve Hell, until my granddaughter takes over. That's how we run the family business.

Dante slowly took his hand away from his grandfather's hand.

DANTE:

I understand, Grandpa, but I can't do that. Stolas was miserable at the palace, and he's happy in my house. But he'll be happier if his boyfriend, Blitzo comes back to him, and I'm doing everything I can to make that happen. And as for Via, she's happier living with me, but I didn't choose to let her, and your son move in with me. It was my father's choice, and you need to try to accept that.

Paimon didn't look so happy at his grandson.

PAIMON:

Yes. Your father.

Paimon looked at the ashes on his cigar.

PAIMON:

Do you have an ashtray?

DANTE:

Oh, sure.

Dante went under the table and took out an ashtray.

DANTE:

Here you go.

Paimon was about to flick the ashes of his cigar in the ashtray that Dante was holding. But instead, Paimon quickly stubbed his cigar on Dante's hand, which made him dropped the ashtray and shouted in pain.

DANTE (Shouting):

AARRRGGHH!

Paimon grabbed Dante by the coat and pulled him closer.

DANTE:

What the hell are you doing?!

PAIMON:

I... hate your father! I was friends with him when I was little. The Sparda family was the true rulers of the Pride Ring, where my family were just fucking slaves to them. And they always treated us with respect.

Dante looked confused.

DANTE:

That's sounds very good.

Paimon let go of his grandson.

PAIMON:

To you! But to me it was shit! So, I decided to make a deal with Mundus. He said, he'll let me become king of Hell if I kill your actual grandparents who were king and queen. And when I did, my family and I have everything that should've been yours, and your father become a slave to Mundus, until he betrayed him by becoming a fucking vigilante like that Bat-freak!

Dante looked angry.

DANTE:

It's Batman and he's not a freak! And I can't believe you betray my family and serve Mundus. My dad would be fucking pissed if he found out!

Paimon got up from his chair.

PAIMON:

Well, he didn't, and he'll never will. You think your father is going to hear my confession? It never works when you're in Hell. Taking your families' legacy was the first step of my plan. The second is helping your brother become the new Mundus. So, I can become the new Satan that rules the seven rings of Hell, then Earth and Heaven, and the entire universe! They will all be mine to command and everyone will be under my control! (Evil Laughter): Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Paimon stopped laughing and smiled.

PAIMON:

I haven't laugh like this for a long time.

Dante and Paimon heard Octavia's voice.

OCTAVIA:

Grandpa?

Dante and Paimon turned to Octavia who looked surprisingly shocked.

PAIMON:

Via! How long have you been here?

OCTAVIA:

Since you said, you hate Uncle Sparda, made a deal with Mundus, killed my uncle's parents, made him as Mundus' slave and took everything that belongs to Dante!

Octavia looked sad.

OCTAVIA:

Why would you do that?

Paimon walked up to his granddaughter.

PAIMON:

My granddaughter, the Sparda family stole our lives and I've only made a deal with Mundus to reclaim it. So, you see, little Via, I've done this for our family. Don't you believe me?

OCTAVIA:

Yes.

Dante looked surprised, and Octavia looked angry at her grandfather.

OCTAVIA:

I believe... That you are a fucking liar! My uncle will never do that! He saved Hell and the Living World, and my dad from Mundus. Sparda is a hero and you're a fucking thief!

Dante cheered for his cousin.

DANTE:

Well said, Via!

Dante, Octavia and Paimon heard Stolas' voice.

STOLAS:

He's not a hero.

Dante, Octavia and Paimon saw Stolas who was in a trance.

STOLAS:

He only became one to steal our families' kingdom. That's why he kidnapped me for ransom. But luckily, Mundus gave it back to us before Sparda banished him to the Demon World. The Sparda family are the ones who are corrupted, not ours.

Octavia looked confused.

OCTAVIA:

What are you talking about? He's your brother.

Dante looked suspicious as he walked up to his grandfather.

DANTE:

Tell him the truth, Grandpa. You betrayed my dad! You killed my grandparents that I've never met, and you've been working for Mundus!

Paimon was acting innocent as he stood behind his son.

PAIMON:

What? Can you believe this nonsense, Stolas? (Sinister): He's obviously lying.

Stolas was speaking weirdly.

STOLAS (Weirdly):

Obviously lying.

Dante noticed that his grandfather's necklace was glowing the same way as Stolas' eyes. Octavia looked shocked.

OCTAVIA:

Dad! What's wrong with you?

DANTE:

I know what's wrong.

Dante snatched the necklace off his grandfather and smashed it into little pieces on a rock. Stolas snapped out of his trance.

STOLAS:

Huh? Where am I?

Dante gave the broken necklace to his uncle.

DANTE:

Uncle Stolas. Your father's been controlling you with this.

Stolas was shocked when he saw the broken necklace.

STOLAS:

A Spellbinding necklace?

Stolas turned to his father.

STOLAS:

Father? What's the meaning of this?

DANTE:

Tell your son the fucking truth!

Paimon looked angry, but calm.

PAIMON:

You were having second thoughts on your wedding day. I've tried to reason with you, Stolas, but you forced me to take extreme measures.

STOLAS:

So, you hypnotized me.

PAIMON:

It was the only way to make you do the right thing for marrying Stella, not run away with Sparda and find your imp boyfriend.

STOLAS:

But I love Blitzy! Was my love to him my mistake?

PAIMON (Shouting):

YES! (Normal Voice): The Sparda family had corrupted me, and I had to kill Sparda's parents, so it won't happen to you. The Goetia family were not happy when you're with Sparda. They were talking shit about you behind your back.

Stolas looked angry at his father.

STOLAS:

The only one who's been talking shit about me was Stella. But the rest of the family were being nice to me because they respected my brother for saving our home from Mundus. We don't have the same blood, but I don't care. You're the one who hates the Sparda family because you're too fucking jealous, just like my Blitzy! And you know what? I'm glad I've left the palace, and Via and I are never going back. So, if you truly do love me, you need to start respecting my nephew, and accepting my choices. Or I don't need you in my life anymore. Do I make myself clear, Father?

Paimon looked surprised.

PAIMON:

Did you just stand up to me, son?

STOLAS:

Yes. Sparda taught me to do that years ago.

Paimon looked surprised, while Dante and Octavia were smiling like they're proud of Stolas. Then Paimon looked disappointed and slapped his son to the ground. Dante and Octavia gasped in shock, while Stolas looked scared.

PAIMON:

You don't fuckin' talk to me that way, Stolas! I made you, and I can destroy you! Now, stop acting like a Sparda, and start acting like a fucking Goetia!

DANTE:

Enough!

Dante pointed his Rebellion sword at his grandfather.

DANTE:

I cannot allow you to treat your son like that. If he wants to be a Sparda, that's his choice. If you can't respect my family's name, then why don't you show me what you made of. Or are you afraid to fight me yourself, you fuckin' snake in the grass!

Paimon made an evil smile and turned to Dante and Octavia.

PAIMON:

A snake? You think I'm a snake? Oh, I've been waiting years for someone to say that.

Dante looked confused.

DANTE:

What?

PAIMON:

Oh, Grandson, you've entertained me. If I'm so afraid, perhaps you like to see how snake in the grass-like I can be.

Paimon opened his mouth, and two fangs came out of it.

DANTE:

Via, stay back!

Paimon transformed into a giant black Mumba snake. Stolas looked scared when he saw his father.

PAIMON (Demonic Voice):

I am the black Mumba! And I will destroy you, Son of Spartan!

STOLAS:

Father! Don't do this!

PAIMON (Demonic Voice):

Quiet, you little bitch! I'll deal with you later!

Octavia took out her Cutlaseer swords.

OCTAVIA:

No, you won't! You maybe my grandfather, but you're being an asshole to my dad.

DANTE:

You sure wanna fight our grandpa with me?

OCTAVIA:

I must, Dante. I can't let anything happen to my dad again.

PAIMON (Demonic Voice):

So, this is how it is? Fine! You will die!

STOLAS:

Father, no!

Paimon opened his mouth and charged at Dante and Octavia, until they swiftly dodged him. Dante and Octavia slashed their swords at Paimon several times. While Octavia was throwing darts at her grandfather, Paimon pushed Dante to a big rock with his tail. Octavia gasped when she saw Dante on the ground unconscious. So, she rushed after him.

OCTAVIA:

Dante, hold on!

Paimon caught his granddaughter and wrapped her tight with his limbless body. Octavia tried to break free, but it was no use.

PAIMON (Demonic Voice):

I can see why you love your cousin so much! Now I will squeeze him out of you like a fucking worm!

Octavia was screaming in pain, while Paimon was squeezing her. Stolas looked shocked.

STOLAS:

Father! Let Via go!

Stolas started to look furious, then his body was covered in red and dark flames.

STOLAS (Demonic Voice/Yelling):

I said, LET HER GOOOOOOO!

Stolas angrily transformed into his demon form and charged at his father, which freed Octavia from his limbless body. Octavia landed to the ground and quickly ran to Dante, who regained consciousness. Dante and Octavia were watching Stolas and Paimon. Stolas scratched his father's face and pinned him down to the floor with his claws.

STOLAS (Demonic Voice):

Stay away from my daughter, or I'll kill you myself!

Stolas and Paimon changed back into their normal forms.

PAIMON:

Very well, Stolas. But you will regret this.

STOLAS:

I don't fuckin' care!

Stolas released his father and walked up to Dante and Octavia.

STOLAS:

Are you all right, Dante?

DANTE:

I'm fine. Just got knocked out.

Octavia looked surprised.

OCTAVIA:

Dad, you've saved me from my grandad?

STOLAS:

I couldn't watch you get squeeze to death, Via. You're very precious to me.

Octavia smiled and hugged her dad. Then Dante saw Paimon get up from the ground while laughing.

PAIMON (Laughing):

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

DANTE:

What's so funny?

PAIMON:

You may have stolen my family, Dante, but as least we're even.

DANTE:

What are you talking about?

Paimon took out Lady Luck's orb and show it to Dante who looked shocked.

DANTE:

The orb!

PAIMON:

Finders' keepers, grandson. Now I'm gonna get what I want.

DANTE:

Lady! No!

Dante ran after his grandfather, but Paimon disappeared before Dante could catch him. Dante looked sad while he went down on both of his knees.

DANTE:

No. I can't believe he took her. I'm sorry, Lady.

LADY LUCK:

Sorry for what, Dan?

Dante turned around and saw Lady Luck. He ran up to Lady Luck and happily hugged her. Then he looked confused.

DANTE:

Lady. How come you're still here. My grandpa took your orb.

LADY LUCK:

Didn't he?

Lady Luck showed Dante her real orb.

DANTE:

Wait. You still, have it? Then what did my grandpa took?

Location: Demon World (A.K.A Double Hell)

Area: Hade's Hellhole (Mundus' Castle)

Paimon magically appeared in his bedroom, smiling.

PAIMON (Laughing):

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It's mine. It's all mine.

When Paimon was about to rub the fake orb, it turned into dust. Paimon looked surprised.

PAIMON:

What? It's a fake! No! (Shouting): NOOOOOO!

Location: Imp City

Area: Paradise (Dante's Summer House)

Back at the garden, Dante looked surprised at Lady Luck.

DANTE:

That orb he took was fake?!

LADY LUCK:

That's right. I made it with my magic. And I always kept the real one with me all the time.

Dante smiled.

DANTE:

Why you clever little bitch.

LADY LUCK:

I'll take that as a complement.

Daniel ran up to Dante.

DANIEL DOLLARBILL:

Master Dante. I saw what happened. Are you alright?

DANTE:

I'm okay. Daniel, you knew Paimon is working for Mundus. Didn't you.

DANIEL DOLLARBILL:

Yes, sir. And your father knew, too.

DANTE:

Why didn't you tell me?

DANIEL DOLLARBILL:

Your father asked me not to, because he hasn't told your uncle.

STOLAS:

It's all right, Daniel. My father just told me.

DANIEL DOLLARBILL:

I'm sorry to hear that, Stolas.

Dante placed his hand on his uncle's right shoulder.

DANTE:

Uncle, I know it's hard for you to accept your father wasn't good enough for you and he's working for Mundus behind your back. But just remember, you're always a good father to Via, and a good uncle to me. And the Sparda family is your real family.

Stolas smiled.

STOLAS:

Thank you, Dante. That's all I needed to hear. But it would've been better if Blitzy here with me.

Stolas took out his smartphone from his pocket and saw the words Voicemail from Blitzy on the screen. Stolas looked happy.

STOLAS:

It's a voice message from Blitzy!

Stolas played the voice message, then he and everyone heard Blitzo's voice.

BLITZO (Voice Recording):

If I ever see your uncle again, I will cut his dick off and shove up his fucking ass! (Angrily): Because I never want to see that cum-eating, bird-shit, motherfuckin', bitch-ass cunt ever again!

Stolas looked sad, but Dante, Octavia, Lady Luck and Daniel looked shocked.

OCTAVIA:

Oh, my God!

DANTE:

Blitzo must've pocket-dialled you, while I was in his office. Uncle, I'm sorry. I've tried to reason with him, but he's too stubborn.

STOLAS:

It's not your fault. Blitzy only said those horrible things because he doesn't want me to be part of the Sparda family.

LADY LUCK:

So, you wanna leave?

STOLAS:

No. I just want him to respect you, so, he'll love me and fuck me again.

DANTE:

Blitzo still loves you. His problem is that he's afraid I'm better than him. But I'm not trying to steal his thunder. And like you said, he will have to work with me once I.M.P is out of business. You just need to be patient, and that's what love really is.

Stolas smiled at his nephew.

STOLAS:

You're right, Dante. I've been waiting for Blitzy since I was kid, and when I was a prince. I could wait for a little longer.

DANTE:

Bring it here, uncle.

Dante and Stolas hugged each other, until Dante's smartphone was ringing in his trouser pocket.

DANTE:

I gotta take this.

Dante took his phone out of his trouser pocket and answered it.

INTERCUT with Dante and Asmodeus.

DANTE:

Devil May Cry. We kill for the thrill.

ASMODEUS:

Dante! How's my handsome devil?

Dante looked happy.

DANTE:

Ozzie? Wow, it has been a while. And you're still calling me handsome.

ASMODEUS:

It's what I do, baby.

DANTE:

So, what's up?

ASMODEUS:

I want you to come to my tower.

DANTE:

Why?

ASMODEUS:

I'll tell you when I see you. Oh, and bring your uncle with you. He and I need to talk about his... human relationship.

Dante looked confused.

DANTE:

Human relationship?

ASMODEUS:

I guess he didn't tell you.

DANTE:

Well, he was about to at my birthday last week. We'll be at the Lust Ring about an hour.

ASMODEUS:

I'll wait for you. And Fizz misses you so much.

DANTE:

Tell him I'll be there.

ASMODEUS:

I will. Bye!

END INTERCUT

Dante looked at his uncle.

DANTE:

You had a relationship with a human?

Stolas sighed.

STOLAS:

I guess I have some explaining to do.

Dante and Blitzo narrated the ending.

DANTE (Narrator):

I can't believe my grandpa was working for Mundus and killed my actual grandparents that I've never met. Now my uncle and cousin are part of my family. But what does Ozzie want to tell me? And why did my uncle have a relationship with a human? That last part won't be there for another two missions. So, until next mission: Return to Ozzie's.

BLITZO (Narrator):

So, Fizz and Ozzie are gonna suck your dick, right?

DANTE (Narrator):

Shut up!

(End of Mission 09)