Author's Note: I started writing this story almost four years ago, shortly after the finale aired. Unfortunately, although the early chapters flowed fairly easily, I found coming up with original ideas for later chapters was more difficult than I had anticipated, so I have picked it up and put it back down several times over the years because my muse or real life got in the way.

Because the beginning was the easiest to write, it has been mostly complete for quite some time, but because I have never been comfortable publishing a story that wasn't finished, I was unwilling to post it. Finally, I decided to break it into multiple, smaller stories, so I can post what I have finished while I continue to work on what I haven't.

This story follows series canon so anything you recognize from the television show belongs to those responsible for that production. It also incorporates the aspects of Steve and Catherine's history I've introduced in many of my earlier stories but most especially Righting a Wrong, Enough for Now, and Full Circle. If you haven't already read those, it's probably not vital that you do, but there may be references in this story that will make more sense.

I still occasionally receive requests to post this story, so I suspect there are still some out there in this fandom who are interested in reading. I want to thank those readers for their encouragement and hope they will feel that it was worth waiting for. Although I have read and re-read it obsessively, I have no doubt there are still mistakes that I didn't catch, and I apologize in advance for any you might find.

I hope you'll enjoy reading!

Finding Peace – Part 1

Chapter 1

Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett woke to a bit of a stiff neck and a warm weight against his right side. He looked down to see Lieutenant Catherine Rollins nestled against him and couldn't help but smile. He still couldn't believe she was in the seat next to him.

The aircraft cabin's lighting was dimmed, and the window shades were drawn, so he checked his watch, which was still set to Hawaii time, and calculated that they would be landing in California in a little over an hour. He decided to let Catherine sleep for as long as she could and closed his eyes again.

He was still amazed to have her again by his side; that they'd found their way back to each other after so many years of being apart. He no longer had any doubts that they were meant be together. Despite all that had happened between them, she was it for him, the love of his life; he didn't want to be with anybody else. She was the one, had always been the one.

Even after their relationship ended – he couldn't let go of her, couldn't get her off his mind. He'd tried to move on, to find somebody else, but nobody else fit in his life quite the same way. He'd given his heart to Catherine a long time ago and he'd never gotten it back. He knew now that was because he'd never truly wanted to.

Once upon a time, he'd thought he'd never see her again, but he believed now that fate had other plans for them. He could still remember the first time he'd seen her after she'd left him utterly devastated and with a broken heart.

He'd been anxious, not having laid eyes on her for more than a year but had not been prepared for his heart to flutter the way it had.

Part of him had known, even then, that there was more to come between them, although he hadn't been sure at the time that he'd wanted to admit it. But the ensuing mission they'd worked together to free his mother from CIA detention in Morocco had been the first step in repairing what had been broken between them.

He was pulled from his musings by the pilot's announcement that they were beginning their descent into Los Angeles which also caused Catherine to stir at his side.

"Good morning, Lieutenant," he greeted with a warm smile.

She looked up at him. "Good morning, Commander." She stretched as much as she could in her seat. "Did you sleep at all?"

He nodded. "Enough." He gazed at her for a moment. "I still can't believe you're here."

"Me, neither," she admitted softly and tipped her face up to give him a gentle kiss.

"You know what I was thinking about? When you came to my house before Morocco."

She smiled softly. "I remember. I was so nervous about seeing you."

"Yeah. Me, too. But I'm glad that it happened, and I guess we have my mother to thank."

"I guess we do."

He chuckled. "You know, if it wasn't so preposterous, I'd wonder if she arranged it on purpose to bring us back together."

"She hinted to me more than once that she hoped we'd work it out. I think she'd be happy to know we're together now."

He smiled sadly. "She probably…" he trailed off as something occurred to him. "That cipher, was it, a, uh, a pretty common code?"

Catherine was confused at the change in topic but went with it. "No, it's actually pretty obscure. I probably would have struggled with it but luckily, I've had experience with it before."

"Did my mother know that?"

"What? That I know about ADF GVX ciphers?" Catherine thought for a moment. "Actually, she might have." She followed his train of thought and looked over at him in wonder. "You don't think…"

"That she, what, sent me a message from the grave with an obscure cipher that you are an expert at cracking in hopes that I would reach out to you?" He chuckled. "She had no problem interfering in my life when she was alive, so, yeah, I wouldn't have put it past her."

"Wow. She really was something," Catherine commented softly.

"Yes, she was," Steve agreed.

"Are you angry that she did it?"

He grinned and shook his head. "No, actually. Not this time."

"Good. Neither am I." She stretched to kiss him softly. "I can't wait to see Mary and Joanie, although I'm a little nervous. Your sister probably hates me."

He shook his head. "She doesn't hate you. She hates what happened between us and how it affected me, but she knows what you did for Doris and for me after Joe—"

"Wait, you told her about that?" she asked, surprised.

One side of his mouth quirked up. "In general terms only. What matters is she knows that we're in each other's lives again. I've told her I was hoping to look you up at some point, I'm pretty sure she read between the lines."

The pilot announced they were on their final approach, so Steve opened the shade and they both turned their attention toward the window. Once they had stopped at the gate and deplaning began, Catherine retrieved from the overhead compartment the small carry-on Steve hadn't realized she'd brought, and he wondered if that was all her luggage.

"I also checked a bag," she said with a smile, answering his unspoken question.

They waited patiently for the plane to empty from the back to the front and when it was finally their turn, he retrieved his bag and followed her down the aisle. As soon as they exited onto the jet bridge he reached for her hand, and they walked side-by-side toward the terminal. After they both stopped in the restroom, he procured two coffees and a pastry from a nearby vendor and then reached for her hand again as they headed down to baggage claim. While they waited for the luggage, he called his sister and told her Catherine would be joining them for breakfast and that he'd answer all her questions once they arrived. Once they'd retrieved the suitcase, they boarded the shuttle bus and settled back for the ride, hands firmly clasped and resting on her leg.

Upon getting to the rental car they loaded the bags and programmed the GPS before departing the airport for the drive to Mary's condo. As Steve drove, he reached over for her hand and held it, resting both of their arms on the center console. Catherine couldn't get over the changes she was already seeing in him. He was so relaxed and couldn't seem to stop touching her. She knew their happy little bubble wouldn't last forever and a return to real life - albeit a different life – was inevitable. She suspected he would eventually settle somewhere in between his current state of serenity and the intense Navy SEAL and head of Five-0 he'd been for the better part of two decades. The idea made her happy.

"I can't remember the last time I saw you this at peace," she said quietly. "I've been thinking about you a lot, recently, worrying about you a lot. Especially after Doris... I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. I wanted to be."

He glanced over. "You were working. I understood that."

"I know you did. The thing is… I'm not sure I understood it. And that's when I started to really question whether the job was worth it anymore."

"Yeah," Steve agreed softly. "For me, too. After Joe and then Doris, losing her the way I did. If I hadn't forced the issue…"

She squeezed his hand and reassured gently, "You are not responsible for what happened. It was a no-win situation, and she knew that. She'd been making plans, contingencies, for months. Like that cipher."

"Like that cipher," he echoed with a sigh. "You know, that cipher almost cost Danny his life."

Her brow creased with concern. "But he's okay, right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, he was released from the hospital yesterday. He kind of moved in with me and Junior a while back so he's at the house. He's up and about, although it will be a while before he's back at work."

"Good. I'm glad he's going to be okay… How was he with you leaving? Did he try to get you to stay?"

Steve sighed. "He's known for a while that, uh, that something was going on with me," he said quietly, his voice deep, "and I think he understands why I need to take a step back. But I-I know he wishes that I was staying there." He glanced over at her. "Would you believe he was actually extolling the virtues of Hawaii?"

"No." Her surprise showed on her face. "Danny?"

Steve raised his left hand. "Swear to God."

"Wow, it really is his home now."

Steve nodded slowly. "Yeah, it is. I think, uh, I think this is maybe going to be harder on him than it will on me."

"I think you're probably right. But you'll keep in touch." She studied him for a moment. "How did everyone else take it?"

"Pretty well, considering. There were some tears, lots of tears actually."

"Lou?" Catherine asked with a knowing smile.

Steve smiled. "Mostly, yeah. That man can cry with the best of them." He sighed softly. "I'll miss him. I'll miss all of them." He squeezed her hand. "I love how well you know me, how well you know the people in my life."

"You're important to me," she stated easily. "You always have been."

He nodded with a smile. "I know. I know. I feel the same way about you."

"So, how long do you give them before they start calling you?" she asked.

"Actually, I asked them to respect my decision and to give me thirty days. Of course, it's possible they'll stalk me from the office," he chuckled. "I think Junior will probably keep track of me, even if he keeps it to himself."

"Yeah. He probably will." She looked down at their joined hands. "I think you're like an older brother or-or a father figure to him."

He looked over sharply. "Father figure?"

She shrugged. "What is he, mid-twenties? It's not that far-fetched."

He realized she was right and groaned. "Okay. Now I feel old. Thanks for that."

"Not old, definitely not old." She cocked her head. "Wise, maybe," she teased.

He laughed. "Okay, not helping."

She chuckled. "I'm right up there with you, you know."

"I know." He brought the car to a stop at a traffic light and his eyes settled on her face and stayed there. "We've known each other for eighteen years, that's almost two decades."

She nodded. "Almost half my life. Would it be presumptuous to say that I hope we have at least another eighteen years together?"

He smiled. "Not at all." His eyes stayed on her until the light changed and he turned his attention back to the road.

"So, what's the plan for today?"

"Breakfast at Mary's before we head out; last I knew she was talking about Disneyland. I think dinner back at her place because of Joan's bedtime, but I was thinking I might pick something up, so she doesn't have to cook. Then tomorrow she has the afternoon off and she's going to pull Joanie out of school early so we can do something in the afternoon. I'm not sure if there's a plan. The following day she's at work all day and Joanie's at school so I was going to drive down to Coronado for the day and come back for dinner."

"Ooh, I haven't been to Coronado in years. Do you think that restaurant is still there?"

He chuckled. "You mean the one where we had reservations that time?"

Catherine laughed and nodded. "What was it called?"

Steve checked his mirrors and changed lanes. "Something Italian. Giorgio's, maybe?"

"Yeah, I think that's it." Catherine pulled out her phone. "I'm going to see if it's still there… On Orange St., I think… it is!" She swiped at the screen. "Oh, they're not open for lunch," she said, her disappointment obvious. "Oh well, another time."

She replaced her phone in her bag, and he reached for her hand again then glanced over.

"Maybe we could have breakfast with Mary and Joanie and, uh, have dinner down there," he suggested.

"With the drive time we'd barely get to see them, though. It's no big deal, really."

"I don't know… I'm, uh, I'm pretty sure I still have a pretty big tab for all those favors you did for me."

She looked over and shook her head. "Oh no, Steve, that was wiped clean a long time ago. And you know, I never actually intended to collect, right?" She smiled broadly. "Besides, it never really bothered me when we missed a meal because we were in bed."

"Me, neither," he agreed with a grin.

"It was about the only time I could get your undivided attention," she teased lightly.

He knew she was teasing but realized there was probably some truth to her words. He had always struggled with balancing the job and his personal life and the latter had typically suffered because of it. He vowed anew to prioritize Catherine and their relationship as much as possible, no matter where life took them or where they ended up.

She studied his profile for a moment and squeezed his hand. "Hey, you know I was kidding, right?"

He nodded. "I know," he replied and glanced over, flashing her a quick smile.

When they arrived at Mary's condo, Catherine hung back a little bit as Steve greeted his sister and his niece. He beckoned her forward to introduce her to Joan. "Joanie, do you remember Catherine? It's been a long time since you've seen her."

Joan studied the brunette for a moment. "You're my auntie, the lady from the pictures!" she said.

Catherine looked at Steve and he looked at his sister, confusion creasing his brow.

"We have some photos from that Thanksgiving," Mary explained, not having to elaborate. "We look at them sometimes and talk about our 'ohana in Hawaii."

"I am the lady from the pictures," Catherine said with a smile. "You used to call me Auntie Caff. It's nice to see you again, Joanie. You've gotten so big."

Joan reached for Catherine's hand. "Will you help me with my puzzle?" she asked, indicating the colorful image that was partially assembled on the table in front of her.

Catherine glanced over at Steve. "I'd love to," she said as she took a seat to the girl's left.

"Joan," Mary said, "I'm going to talk to Uncle Steve for a couple minutes. You keep working on your puzzle, okay?"

Steve quirked an eyebrow at his sister, then bent to kiss the top of Joan's and Catherine's heads before following Mary into an adjacent room. The diminutive brunette fixed her brother with a look.

"I always liked Catherine, you know that, right?" she said quietly.

He nodded.

"Why is she here?" she asked in her no-nonsense way.

He sighed. "She surprised me on the plane. She heard that I took a leave from Five-0 and was leaving the islands and bought the seat next to me on the same flight. She flew into Honolulu yesterday morning and waited seven hours so she could surprise me."

"Okay, wait. How did she know what seat you were in? And why didn't she just call?"

"How did she know what…" He had never told Mary what Catherine actually did for work, only that she had a government job based out of D.C. and traveled a lot. "She worked for the government, Mare, I'm sure she checked the flight manifest. "

"So, why not just call?"

"I was nervous," Catherine answered from the doorway, "and I felt like it would be better to wait until he'd left the islands. Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop. We finished the puzzle and Joan was looking for her doll."

Steve extended his arm to her and when Catherine took his hand, he tugged her toward him and pulled her into his embrace, her back against his chest. "I was very happy to see her," Steve told his sister from over Catherine's shoulder, "and I'm very happy she's here now. I was going to look her up eventually, she just beat me to it."

Mary eyed them appraisingly for a moment.

"I quit my job and I'm back to stay," Catherine reassured softly, her voice contrite. "When I left… some of what happened was outside my control, but that's no excuse. I will never be able to forgive myself for the hurt I caused, but I'm ready to move past it and do better this time. No more lies. No more leaving, I promise you." She turned her head to include Steve standing behind her. "Both of you." She turned back to his sister. "I think Steve's forgiven me and I hope you can, too."

He placed a gentle kiss on her temple. "I have," he said softly.

"I really want us to be part of each other's lives," Catherine said to Mary, "I don't have any siblings, so I'd love to have an honorary sister. I know it might take some time, but I…" She shrugged.

"Aunt Deb would be happy," Mary said quietly. "She always liked you. I think she always believed you two would get back together someday."

"She did?" Steve asked, his surprise evident. "I didn't know that."

"She didn't want to talk to you about it," Mary told her brother. "But she told me, a bunch of times." She turned her attention to Catherine. "Don't break his heart again."

"I won't."

Mary stepped forward and reached out; Steve withdrew his arms so Catherine could move toward her, and the two women embraced. "Make him happy, okay?" Mary whispered in Catherine's ear.

"I promise," Catherine whispered back.

"I'll get the doll," Mary said as they broke apart.

Catherine shook her head. "No, I will. Just tell me where. You two should spend some time catching up."

"Are you sure?" Mary asked.

"Yeah, absolutely," Catherine reassured.

Mary smiled. "Last I saw it was in the toy basket in the corner of her room. If it's not there, I'm not sure," she admitted.

Catherine smiled. "We'll find it. Search and rescue happens to be a specialty of mine," she said and then headed back into the kitchen.

"You sure about this?" Mary asked her brother when they were again alone.

"Yeah, Cath's great at search and rescue," Steve said lightly.

Mary just rolled her eyes at him.

"Yes," he finally answered her question. "I still love her, Mare. She's it for me - the only woman I can picture a future with, and I want that. I think I'm finally ready, and I think she is, too."

"I thought you were ready five years ago. You were going to propose."

"I was," he acknowledged, "but I don't think I was really ready then. Not like I am now."

She studied him for a moment. "You look happy."

"I am," he confirmed. "You have no idea, Mary. And it's only been like eight hours."

She moved forward to hug him. "I expect to be invited to the wedding," she said into his chest.

He smiled. "You got it."

A/N: It's exciting to me to have finally started posting this story. Part 1 is complete, so you can expect regular updates.