A/N : a bit of comfort... and a lot more hurt.

Why won't you let me out !

Viktor was exhausted. The checkup and discovery of Razor Hugh's systems had been more trying than expected; the man had implants and synthetic muscles of such high grade that Viktor had only heard about them, in the best-case scenario. Still, he had noticed some obvious flaws and possibilities for sabotage. They were so apparent that there would be no way of discreetly executing them. He didn't yet know what the Animals would ask of him, but he was sure of one thing: no matter what it could be, anyone inspecting Razor's body after him would immediately make the connection and trace it back to the ripper.

Pushing the gate open, unsure and scared of what he would find inside, Viktor was relieved to see that the lights were still on. However, he froze in his tracks in front of the scene unfolding before him.

"You'll never cease to amaze me, kid," he finally said with a smile.

"Hey, doc," answered V with an equal smile, chewing on a protein bar, still half-naked with only her Samurai jacket on her shoulders. "Judy told me you patched me up again. Thanks."

"Ah, don't sweat it, V. I'm just really, really happy to see you up and eating. Considering there was a hole in your stomach," the doc said as he let himself fall into his desk chair.

"Yeah, that probably explains why everything hurts. Judy gave me the deets. She went out to get some water, by the way. She'll be back in a sec."

V lowered her head, her smile vanishing behind a long strand of hair.

"I feel like shit, doc, but I'm alive. I just… I'm not sure what to do with this info. My lungs might collapse in an hour? My heart might rip itself in two next week? Did I get this right?"

"That's the gist of it, yes."

"And those pills? I feel better since I took them."

"It's a good sign then, but there's only so much they can do. They will give you a few days at best. If they work, which I cannot guarantee."

"Might be all I need, Vik. Just need to get Misty out, and then… then… Then it will be okay."

She tried to give him a warm smile but failed to convince him.

"V," he said with the grave voice he used for all kinds of bad news, "You gotta understand. The only reason I didn't pull your cyberdeck out of your brain is that I strongly believe half of your grey matter would have come out with it. That overclocking stunt you pulled, kid… Couldn't have done anything more stupid than that."

"Yeah, not my finest moment, sorry. I was a bit under pressure, and I didn't think it would… you know."

"Set fire to your organs and accelerate the consequences of your unique condition? Sure, how could you have known?"

"Hey, don't make fun of the sick! I'm dying here, be nice!"

"I am nothing if not nice to you, V," Viktor replied.

Her voice became soft.

"I know, Vik. You're the best man I've ever met. No questions asked. I owe you so damn much…"

"Stop it, you're gonna make me blush," Viktor chuckled, brushing off the praise.

She pushed her gratitude further into teasing territories. "If you'd have boobs, I might have had a crush on you!"

Judy chose this moment to enter the workshop. "What is it I'm hearing? A crush on Viktor? Boobs on Viktor? The hell did I miss?"

V welcomed her girlfriend with a laugh, which quickly turned into a grimace. "Ouch. Ah. Damn, that hurts. Okay, no laughing, got it."

Judy deposited the pack of bottles under the operation table and tried to heal V's pain with a gentle kiss. Her lips still tasted metallic, bloody, but they felt warmer, more alive, at least.

"Jokes aside, V, anything else I should know? Dizziness, nausea, difficulties moving?"

V looked awkward for a second, long enough for Judy to get concerned and to know something was up.

"V?" she asked. "Spill it."

"I, um… It's hard to explain. I see Johnny, sometimes. I hear him too."

"Silverhand?" questioned Viktor.

"Yeah."

The ripperdoc immediately pivoted his chair toward his computer and inspected the logs from his previous diagnostics.

"It should not be possible. The Relic is gone, his construct has been wiped out from your data. He's not here anymore."

"I mean," she tried to explain. "It's different from before. It's not like he's here and we're talking liek we used to. I don't know, it just feels like glimpses. I hear some stuff he said before. Like memories. It lasts a second or two and it's gone."

Viktor continued to scan his data. "I don't see anything in there. We can run another full scan if you want."

"Do you think it's possible that he's still here? That he's been locked inside my head this whole time and we didn't know?"

The doc shook his head slowly. "Sorry, kid, but no. I don't think it's possible. Not without the Relic. I think it's just… hallucinations. Your brain's going mad, kid, and it tries to cope however it can. Considering that, technically speaking, your body has been rewritten as Johnny's… It makes sense that you feel like he's still here. But he's not."

V's shoulders collapsed a little. "I see. Thanks, Vik."

Standing up next to her, Judy leaned gently on her, arms around her shoulders, scared she might break her girlfriend in two if she pressed her too hard.

"I didn't know you missed him this much," she said in her ear. "I thought you hated having him in your head."

V shrugged.

"I did, but… you know. By the end, he was a part of me. Quite literally. I'd be lying if I said I'd have made it without him. Even us, Judy. He helped me deal with my… feelings for you, in his own way at least. So yeah, I miss him."

Judy recognized there was a big part of V's life she had been excluded from. Jackie, for once. V's best friend, the incarnation of all her dreams, who died in a blaze of glory. V kept saying she'd love him, they'd get along, they would have a great time. They would never know for sure. Then, Johnny. Literally with V 24/7, both the angel and the devil on her shoulders. He was a part, if not the main component, of her fight for survival, while Judy… She was only here. Waiting. Doing her stuff, hoping V would come home at some point.

These dark thoughts had been chased away when they both joined the Nomads on the road and became part of the Aldecados family. Now their lives were really entangled. Together.

But less than two days in Night City, and it was back to the old ways… V fighting her battles alone, and this damn Johnny Silverhand already back on the table.

V seemed to have caught a glimpse of her shameful jealousy.

"Babe? You know it doesn't change anything, right?"

"I know," she sighed. "I'm sorry. I just feel useless. Can't help you the way Johnny did, can't follow you the way Jackie did."

V brought her closer, ignoring the pain in her muscles when she moved.

"I know. That's what I love so much about you. You're not bathed in blood the way we are. You're my way out. Johnny, Jackie… as much as I cared about them and as much as I miss them… my life would be nothing but fighting. Blood, bullets, and glory. With you, I got love. I got peace. I'm happy. Ain't much better than that."

Viktor cleared his throat loudly.

"Well, it's not that I don't appreciate a touch of romanticism, but my shop is hardly the place. V, you really should rest. You had massive damage to several vital organs, for fuck's sake. You should…"

"No can do, doc. Still got an Animal to find and squash. I'll rest when I'm dead. So probably very soon. Gotta find Misty first."

"Vi and Caitlyn are on it, calabacita, there's nothing we can do until they get back to us."

V shook her head. "How did it go on your side, Vik? With Razor Hugh?"

The old man shrugged. "Well, he's wired from head to toe, and his tech is more advanced than anything I'd ever seen. Your Relic excluded, of course. And your Cyberdeck. Well, anything except you. You catch my drift."

"No contact from the Animals yet?"

"Negative. I don't know what they will want me to sabotage, but I could see several options. None good for me, though."

"Don't sweat it, doc. It won't come to that. The fight will never happen. We're taking him down before that."

"You should call Panam," says Judy.

"What for?"

Judy stared at her with her right eyebrow arched in a "you know what I mean" way.

"You really like them, don't you?" concluded V with a satisfied smile.

"What do you want, they grow on you."

"That they do. Come on, help me up."

It took a lot of efforts to stand on her own two feets, and even more to get to the door, but when she finally stepped outside, the breath of fresh air, no matter how polluted it was, felt like a rebirth. She nodded at Judy, then took a few steps further on her own. The line only rang for a few seconds.

"V?"

"Hey, Panam."

"You're done? Did you help your friend? On your way back?"

"Sorry, boss. We're gonna have to skip our duties a bit longer."

Panam only smiled in response.

"What do you need?"

"Panam, I… I need a favor."

"Sure, hit me."

"I need you to promise me you'll take care of Judy."

Panam's immediately turned in anger.

"V, you better not mean what I think you're meaning."

"I won't make it back, Panam."

"Fuck. Fuck, V. Fuck you. You can't drop that on the phone. You're getting your ass back here right now."

"Please, Panam. She really likes it with you, and I know she won't say it because of how things went with the Mox, but... I know she'll be happy with you guys."

"God damn it, V. Of course we will take care of her. She's family. Same as you!"

"Plus," she added with an attempt at provocation, "Rachel has been eyeballing her since she joined camp. So if you don't want a cuter and younger model to steal your output, you better come back."

V wanted to scoff but only produced a small bubble of blood at the corner of her lips.

"Oh, fuck, V. Fuck. Okay, don't move. Stay put. I'll be here in a day."

"Panam, stop."

"Stay put."

"Panam!" she almost screamed. "Listen! I don't have long, and the clan needs you. Just, listen. I wanted to say thank you. To all of you. You gave me a family like I never thought possible. I owe you so damn much."

"Shut up, V," hiccuped Panam, fighting tears.

Emotions swirled in V's throat, and a drop ran down her cheek, a drop slightly red.

"V," repeated Panam. "Stay put. I'm coming to get you. Mitch can handle things for a day or two. You girls are my sisters. I'm bringing you back. By the skin of your ass if I have to. Stay put. I'm coming."

The line went dead.

"You're the best, Panam," whispered V to the void.

"I take it things didn't go as you expected?" asked Judy with a smirk.

"Tsss. I know you planned this."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Then, after a quick pause, "When is she going to be here?"

"A day, I'd say."

Judy then noticed the dried bloody tear on V's cheek, and her gentle smile quickly turned to a grimace of concern.

"V, shit… you're crying blood."

"That's metal, isn't it? Pretty sure Johnny would make some jokes about me going emo or something. Or write a song about it. I'm still not sure."

She dug her hand into her right pocket and took out a pill from Viktor's bottle.

"I got a feeling I'm going to chug on these like they're candies. Need to ask Viktor where I can buy more, I'm going to run out very fast."

As soon as the pill started dissolving on her tongue, she felt a wave of relief rushing over her body, as if every single stretched cell came back to its original place.

"Any news from the Brits?" she then asked her partner.

"Not yet, no. I'm not sure if this is good or bad news."

V rang Caitlyn's line, then Vi's, but both stayed dead.

"Say, V," started Judy with her voice full of uncertainty. "Have you really changed your mind? About the prototype?"

V stared at her for half a second, long enough for Judy to wince.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because… " She sat on a dirty crate, creaking under her weight. "Since I've known you, you have always hid things from me. Which is fine, it's part of the job. But the stunt you pulled on me yesterday, leaving without me… You scared the bejesus out of me. Not to mention that I'm still pissed at you, and I'd have smacked your head if I wasn't so scared it would detach itself from your shoulders."

"Judy…"

"No please, let me finish. I don't want to dwell on that. Not right now. If you're… If… If you're minutes away from dying, I don't want to spend them mad at you. But I need to know. Do you really intend to try? To get the prototype and save yourself? Because I'm telling you right now, if you just said that to get me off your back, and it was all a lie… I will never forgive that deception, V. Never. So if you don't intend to use it, I need you to tell me right now. I'll beg if I have to. I just need the truth."

She expected another fight, V's voice to raise, or worse, to go deep into the abyss of her exhaustion and despair, as it sometimes happened. But V only smiled in front of the little pearls making their appearance in the corner of her eyes.

"I promise, Judy. No bullshit. I'll do what I can to get my hands on it."

The young woman was taken aback.

"Really? I mean… That's kind of a 180 since yesterday…"

"I know, but since then I almost died, then started liquifying from the inside. That gives perspective. But truth is… I remembered a promise I made. Something Johnny said."

"Never stop fighting?"

V was now surprised.

"How do you know?"

"You kept mumbling that when you were out cold. You repeated things like I never stopped fighting, Johnny."

"Ah, I see. Well, I was wrong. I did stop fighting. I did just lie down in the dirt and waited to die. Because I was comfortable, in your arms, with the family… Johnny and I, we had different opinions, on a lot of things. Might have called me a coward or a sell-out for wanting to stay peacefully with my output in a caravan in the desert, and leave all that shit behind… But if there's one thing we both agreed upon, it's that you have to fight for what you want. And I want that. I want to keep lying peacefully in the dirt with your arms around me. So I'm gonna fight for it. Like he said."

Judy smiled and swooned in front of such romanticism, before a grim reminder imposed itself to her brain.

"What about this Corpo war you feared so much? You really seemed adamant it was not worth the risk."

"I still do. But… I also figured the secret would be best kept with the prototype on me rather than this Deckard using it openly. And I don't know… It's weird because she's a Corpo, but I trust Caitlyn. She said they got it covered, and I want to believe her."

Judy nodded.

"I feel it too. It's because of Vi, I think. You two are so much alike, and not just by name. There's something about her, about you… "

"Street incarnate," whispered V to the wind. "Something I heard, once, when I was young. A guy who said he wanted to be the street incarnate."

"Yeah, exactly. You both have that vibe, and if she trusts Caitlyn…"

"I feel like I trust her too."

Judy's eyes suddenly lit up blue.

"Speaking of the devil…. Caitlyn? Yes, she's awake. She's doing… surprisingly well for now, but it won't last. We really need to find Deckard. Please tell me you have some good news."

Her eyes locked on V's face, and she suddenly smiled. The merc waited for some very, very long seconds, on the edge of her metaphorical seat.

"Awesome. Thanks. We're on our way."

"They got him?"

"They found him," she confirmed with a smile. "She said we're not ready for this. We need to join them at your apartment at Corpo Plaza."

"Alright. Let me check out with Vik and we're on our way."

V popped up her contact list in front of her eyes and selected a number she hadn't called in a very long time.

"Miss V!" said a robotic voice with delight. "What a pleasure hearing from you again."

"Hey, Del! Long time no see."

"Indeed, Miss V. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I'm at Vik's clinic and need to get home to Corpo Plaza, but my usual ride is somewhere on the docks."

The white-skinned AI on the camera gave her a big, commercial smile, which she knew was as sincere as an AI smile can be.

"Don't worry, Miss V. Delamain has your back. We will be picking you up in six minutes."

"Preem. See you soon, Del."

V nodded toward Judy, something that meant "I'll be right back" of sorts, then she entered Vik's den again.

The old ripperdoc was sitting in front of his computer, reviewing an endless stream of data, scrutinizing for something he clearly wasn't finding.

"Vik? Everything okay?"

The man sighed and turned back toward her.

"As okay as I can be, with Misty taken, and you halfway to the grave, I guess."

"Grim, doc. Very grim."

"Ah, my apologies. Rough day is all. I was checking the data from your latest scan, but it just confirms what I thought. There's nothing left from Johnny Silverhand in there. I suspect it's just some kind of memory, maybe made more visible by your dying brain."

"Maybe. Say, where can I get more of those pills? They seem to work but not more than an hour."

Viktor shook his head.

"Sorry, I'm all out, that was all I got. But you can probably get some in the Corpo District if you can pay for it."

He forwarded an address to V's inbox.

"Thanks, Vik. You're the best. How much do I owe you?"

He snorted.

"Come on, kid, you should know by now. I don't need anything from you."

This time, however, V sat in front of him, rather than just accepting the generosity.

"Vik, listen. Maybe I got a chance of getting out of this, but it's more likely I'm just gonna flatline. And when I do, all my eddies won't mean shit to me. That cash will be more helpful to you, or to anyone, than it will for me. So let me pay you."

After a few seconds, he smiled.

"Alright, kid. Alright. Here's your tab then."

She discovered the numbers and could not hold back a laugh, despite the searing pain in her sides.

"Holy shit, Vik. How were you just giving up on this pile of cash? That's… Ah well. I guess I'm just happy to finally be good for it. Here. You earned it, and not just with your skills. You're a good man, Vik. Too good for this place."

"Shut up, kid. No need to get all mushy."

"I get mushy if I want. I'm dying, remember? Now, the Brits say they found Deckard, so I'm on my way to meet them. We're getting Misty back, Vik. I promise you."

"I know, V. I trust you."