Hope is a Dangerous Thing

Ten

2008

'Well, how did it go?'

Minerva peered expectantly over her glasses as her deputy headmistress took her seat next to the bed. She was fairly sure Hermione was aware she had been manipulated into travelling down to The Hog's Head. No doubt Severus was aware too.

Marvellous what one could get away with on their deathbed, she thought, wryly.

To her surprise, two red spots of colour appeared on the cheeks of her young friend.

'What—have you reached an understanding already?'

'No!' Hermione shook her head vehemently. 'Of course not; it is not that simple—he is practically a stranger to me now.'

Minerva scoffed loudly, but when she received a hard look, she decided not to push that point any further.

'Let us just say,' Hermione continued, 'that I accept his apology and I fully support his desire to change his life and to be at ease with himself. Though I hasten to add, I would have supported that at the outset.'

'That's it?' Minerva tried, but couldn't hide her utter disappointment.

'Yes.' Hermione folded her arms primly. 'What else is there?'

Minerva stared at her, shaking her head with impatience. 'What else is there? My dear Hermione, please, do yourself a favour and allow yourself some happiness.' She reached over and squeezed her arm. 'Severus is not the only one with demons to slay, I fear.

'Do you not think it is time to forgive yourself for what happened to your parents? You did what was right at the time. You know the Death Eaters would have killed them. You couldn't have known the charm could not be undone.'

She watched as Hermione's bottom lip trembled slightly.

'I should have known,' she muttered fiercely.

'Hermione, they have not suffered, but you have. Punishing yourself by being alone will not change anything. You do not deserve to be punished, just like Severus does not deserve it. He, like you, insists upon it.'

There were several moments of silence and Minerva observed the conflicting emotions passing across Hermione's face. She decided to push a little more.

'It is quite obvious there is something between you, but I can't understand what the dithering is about.'

Hermione chewed on her bottom lip, seeming to struggle with what she wanted to say. In time, she spoke in a quiet voice, 'I am not sure I can trust him.'

'Because he hurt you?'

'Yes. I deserved better than that.'

Minerva could not disagree, but she could also see the bigger picture. 'You did not deserve to be ignored, but Hermione, do you not think you may have been saved from even greater heartache? You would have been forced apart once he was exiled. How much more difficult might it have been had your relationship continued through his stay in Azkaban?'

'Maybe things would have been different had he allowed us to help.'

'No, dear; Severus made a choice, and whilst it hurt both of us, it was never about us. It was his life, his choice, for once.'

Hermione groaned in frustration. 'I know, I know; I accept that, I do.'

'Do you want to trust him?'

'Yes.'

'Then, Hermione, please give him a chance—the stakes will be completely different this time. We both know he is capable of great loyalty.'

They both suddenly sensed the irony and caught each other's eye at the same time, breaking into a few chuckles of sheepish laughter.

'Well, yes, and capable of great deception, too,' Minerva continued, smiling, 'but he will not wish to deceive you.'

'Do you think he wants a chance, then?'

Minerva almost laughed aloud, but swallowed it when she realised Hermione was asking the question quite seriously. For someone so intelligent and capable, and so outwardly confident, Minerva was always struck by the lack of inner belief she sometimes displayed.

'I should not be so bold as to speak for Severus, but of course he does!'

Hermione dropped her gaze at that and they subsided into companionable quiet for a time, Minerva sensing they both needed a few moments with their thoughts.

'Everything will work out,' Minerva assured, smiling.

Hermione stirred, looking at her thoughtfully. 'What will I do without you?' she asked quietly.

Minerva felt her own lips suddenly start to tremble. 'My dear, you are a strong woman—you will be just fine.'

Hermione shook her head in disagreement, swiping at her eyes. Then she took in a sharp breath. 'I'm sorry; please, ignore me.' She gathered her things together and then leaned over, giving Minerva a kiss on the cheek. 'I should go; he will be here shortly.'

No sooner had she said it than there were footsteps sounding up the stairs.

'Have a good night, dear,' said Minerva.

Hermione moved towards the door as it opened. 'Hello,' she said to the dark figure who entered, offering him a small smile.

'Good evening,' Severus replied, as she passed by. He closed the door behind her and then took his spot next to the bed. 'She looked upset,' he observed quietly.

Minerva sighed. 'I'm worried about her.'

'Why?'

'She has never allowed herself to get over the loss of her parents—what she did to them.'

He said nothing.

Minerva sighed again, at length, deciding it was time to be frank with him too. 'Severus, I must know this is resolved between you.' She gave him a serious look. 'There are few concerns I shall carry with me to my grave, but what should become of two of my favourite people is one of them.

'There is Hermione, who has many friends, of course, but has no one where she is the first in their affections, and you, Severus, you have tried your best to prove you need no one, but in doing so it has prevented you reaching your true potential. That the answer lay in bringing you both together, to take care of each other, well I am only sorry I never thought to engineer it sooner.'

A truly bitter regret, she thought suddenly. If only she had known!

A brief glance at him told her she had rendered him speechless—he looked vaguely dazed.

'You're going to have to make some sort of gesture, Severus—'

He recoiled suddenly. 'What, Minerva—'

'Yes! You let her down; Weasley let her down… You need to give her something that she can take confidence from.'

'I can't do grand gestures.' He stared at her as though she had two heads.

'You are good with words. Just tell her how you feel; proclaim your undying devotion if you must.'

'Have you overdosed on pain relief?'

'No!' She exclaimed with a weak laugh. 'I am simply running out of time.' She looked at him, hoping her sadness was not too visible.

He huffed out a breath. 'Minerva, this is not your responsibility.' He reached out and touched her arm. 'I know you have worried for my well-being in the past, and I am grateful for your concern, but you should not worry for me anymore. I am quite sure Hermione does not wish you to worry on her behalf, either.'

She stared at him, vision blurring. She had worried herself in the past, but she sometimes wondered if she had worried enough. She was reminded suddenly of the first time he had returned to Voldemort following the disaster that was the Triwizard Tournament. Dumbledore had been his usual, serenely unbothered self, and she had sat there feeling sick, fairly sure that Voldemort would send Severus's Snape's dead body back to Hogwarts as an unequivocal message.

It had always pricked at her that she might have done more to convince Dumbledore to release Severus from his perceived obligations.

Unwilling to dwell further on that, she instead turned her thoughts back through the years to the moment Dumbledore had sent her to receive their newest recruit. She could see the pained look even now when he had seen that it was she descending the stairs into the Entrance Hall, rather than the Headmaster. She felt a smile pull at her lips.

'What?' Severus asked, bemused.

'Do you remember the Christmas break when you started here as a teacher and Dumbledore made me train you up?' She started laughing, putting a hand to her face. Merlin, they had had some fractious moments, particularly during those first few months, but he had always been respectful.

'Of course,' he agreed in a deadpan tone, 'I always take great pleasure in saying everything I know about teaching I learned from you.'

'I'm flattered,' she chuckled. 'I soon knew I'd created a monster when Slytherin started winning all those House Cups. And Quidditch Cups, come to that.'

'And then you bought Potter a broom, just to get back at me…'

'Exactly, you drove me to it!'

She closed her eyes with a sigh. Those simple days when house points and trophies were their main concern. Still, she was grateful that all of those days—simple or otherwise—were now long behind them. And whilst she might not have many of her own days left, it was enough to know that the prospects for those she cared about were far more positive.

Another bubble of laughter began to rise up from her chest and she quickly tamped it down, but failed to conceal the accompanying smile. 'I still think you need to make a gesture though, Severus.'

'No…'

'Please?'

A mutinous glare was his only response.

Minerva said nothing more—she knew she didn't need to. The seed was planted and she knew his cogs would be whirring. And whilst Hermione may not get a grand gesture, she was fairly sure she would get something.

Ask for the world and accept a small country—that was more than good enough for her.

A/N Thanks for reading : )