Chapter 12: Freaky First Day
Chapter Summary: All Hell has broken loose! A series of chance encounters leaves Naruto in an out-of-body experience with the foe!
Words: 6,633
-Roswelll
i wonder how will sasuke curse mark will affect the time.
i love it!
Without spoiling... You're about to find out how the curse mark plays into this ;)
-scotty26
I like the chapter but there's one glaring mistake I saw and that was that you mention Choji was team 8 instead of team 10 but damn. I think this is the right length to write each chapter. Took me a while to get use it o your writing.
My mistake about Choji! :P
I appreciate your feedback on the chapter length, it'll help me out going forward!
And I'm glad you're getting used to this fic!
-Tawny779:
A Single Letter :P
A person who only thinks, has nothing to think about, but thoughts.
-iacopo. passerini:
Bello!
Complimenti!
Thanks!
Without further ado, on to the chapter!
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Forest of Death
Anko leapt across the canopy of trees.
I can sense his color. That, that, that absolute scum!
As if the exams aren't stressful enough in and of themselves, with all the villages being civil for once, I gotta deal with Satan himself jeopardizing our diplomatic relations!
The strength of the color she felt steadily increased, and she changed course every time it even slightly weakened, in an effort to stay on track.
Her blood began to boil as she finally caught up to the source.
It's that kid who gave me my knife back!
An animalistic rage took over the woman as she sprinted faster and tackled the supposed genin.
The genin, in an unsettling voice that resembled a man mimicking a woman, hissed, "I'm disappointed to see that it took you so long, Anko...".
The genin wriggled free, and tossed Anko off.
He rolled to his feet and his shape suddenly deformed.
Anko's eyes widened as what was once a slim and healthy young woman grotesquely transformed into a lanky, pale, inhumanly white-skinned, long-black-haired man.
He's...
The mysterious man immediately dashed towards Anko, who began to fend him off.
She tried to stab him, but only succeeded in accidentally nailing her own coat to the tree behind her.
She bit his hair to hold him in place and attempted a murder-suicide technique, only for the man to rip out those locks of his own hair.
Anko canceled the technique, as the man grabbed her by the wrists and pinned her against the tree.
Anko spat, "Orochimaru, you son of a bitch -- the other jonin already know you're here!".
Orochimaru tuanted, "Let them come...".
"They'll catch you, even if you kill me now!".
"Oh, I don't plan on anything so drastic...".
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Elsewhere in the Forest
Naruto feigned a struggle to escape the snake's mouth.
Gotta see if this bastard wants to take me somewhere...
In a desperate maneuver, he pulled out a kunai and dug into the roof of the snake's mouth.
As the snake shrieked in pain, Naruto latched himself onto a tooth and stabbed again and again.
The snake writhed in pain, rolling around and slamming its head to disoriented Naruto.
Did I go too far? No way...
Nonetheless, the boy continued to stab and push forward until he saw light shining through.
Definitely too far. Well it's the stupid snake's fault for taking too long! I'm beginning to think it really wants to kill me!
He used the kunai to stay stuck on the snake, as he summoned shadow clones.
The clones broke the snake's teeth, at which point the animal finally spat Naruto out, covered in snake saliva.
Gross...
The snake began to curl up and groan in pain, before disappearing in a puff of smoke.
As Naruto composed himself, he began to gag at the stench and sensation of what he had been covered in, so much so that he clenched his fist over his thumb to withhold the reflex.
Just gotta find water, I'll clean myself and then find Sakura and Sasuke. Ugh...
The boy climbed up a tree, hoping to find a source of water.
There's gotta be a pond, or a teeny little spring...
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Not Long After
Sakura and Sasuke tried their best to catch up with the snake, but neither genin was fast enough to keep pace.
Fortunately, the massive snake had created a destructive trail that led them to where it had been going.
Traversing through fallen trees and grooved paths, Sakura inwardly panicked.
A giant snake! We haven't even been here for a whole ten minutes and Naruto's been eaten by a snake! I hope he's fine...
After a few more minutes, the two had arrived at the point where the leveling had ended.
Upon arrival, they first noticed the absence of both the snake itself, as well as the same of the boy they had been attempting to save from it to begin with.
Sakura shrugged and looked at Sasuke for any help, groaning.
She whined, "Leave it to Naruto to just disappear on us and--and leave us alone like that!".
Instead of Sasuke, a horrid unfamiliar voice responded, "Oh, you're not completely alone...".
Sakura jolted forward before turning around to face the person.
Who's this?!
Orochimaru laughed.
He gruffly sang, "It doesn't matter how far you run, you won't escape me!".
Sasuke rushed towards the man, growling, "Get away from her, you freak!".
Then, just as Sasuke leapt, Orochimaru caught him and grabbed him by the neck.
He hissed, "It's not her I want, it's you!".
His face began to contort into something even less human, as he bore his fangs and began to emit putrid purple chakra.
Although he didn't see the man's mouth move, Sasuke could've sworn he heard him whisper, "Take my gift, Sasuke; it will give you all the strength you need.".
However, before Orochimaru could proceed, Sakura had run up to Sasuke and pulled him down.
In a blind frenzy, Orochimaru grabbed the first thing he could and bit into it, releasing the chakra into the flesh.
When his vision returned, he saw that the genin he had just bitten was Sakura.
No, no, no! I was supposed to take Sasuke, not the girl! I wasn't told about the blindness!
He threw Sakura into the floor.
The girl's eyes had gone white, as her expression became completely blank.
Seeing her condition, Sasuke froze.
His eyes went wide and he trembled, still lying on the ground since he had fallen.
Sasuke noticed three tomoe on the back of her neck, where she had been bitten.
Now having reverted to his original form, Orochimaru's face was still riddled with scorn.
He shouted, "You see what happens, Uchiha?! You see what happens when you make things difficult for me!".
He picked the boy up by his throat, and tossed him across the clearing.
There's still another way... I just have keep my head cool!
Orochimaru marched towards Sasuke and kneeled, keeping his knee on the fallen boy's shoulder.
He licked his lips and quietly uttered, "I know you want to kill Itachi. See how easily I incapacitated your friend? Imagine what you can do once you've trained under me... Sasuke. That mark I've adorned upon the girl should be yours, your strength...".
Sasuke squirmed in an effort to escape.
Alas, he was trapped. The older man's leg was much too strong to overcome, and the boy was already weakened by his frightened state.
Sasuke questioned, "Who the Hell are you?".
Orochimaru answered, "Just someone rolling the dice of fate... The name's Orochimaru.".
He pulled the boy close, insisted, "Think about it.", and grabbed Sasuke in a blood-choke, cutting off just enough air supply to render him unconscious.
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A Few Minutes Later
A freshly clean Naruto, via the Flying Thunder technique, returned to his team - - Sakura, specifically.
The boy swiveled his head around for a second, trying to find the girl.
He looked down, and saw the unconscious state that she was in.
What the Hell? Who could've done this?!
He dropped to his knees and rolled the girl over onto her back.
He opened her eye and noticed the blankness, prompting him to try and shake her awake.
"Hey, Sakura, wake up!...".
He checked her pulse, and breathed a sigh of relief when he felt the steady thump of her heartbeat.
She's alive...
The boy got up and scanned the clearing for Sasuke, finding him slumped at the base of a tree, eyes wide open.
As Naruto began to make his way there, he felt his own body shake slightly - - the oncoming laughing from the technique he used.
He was able to stave it off, but the effort forced him to choke on air, as his eyes began to tear up at his coughing.
He stumbled down to check on Sasuke, once again on his knees.
Can he even see?
Naruto waved a hand in front of his peer, who then snapped to look at him in the face.
I hope Sasuke can tell me something.
Sasuke stammered, "S-S--S--S--S-S--"
Naruto chuckled and interjected, "What's the matter, Scaredy Cat?".
Sasuke's head dropped, and he refused to speak.
Naruto began to walk back toward Sakura as he beckoned to Sasuke, "Come on, let's make a tent so we can nurse 'er until she wakes up.".
At the mention of that, Sasuke scampered up to his feet and commanded, "Hold on, I'll set it up! You just keep guard...".
Can't let Naruto find out about that mark...
Naruto scoffed.
"So, you're finally admitting you're weaker than me! I gotta revel in this for a while!".
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A Few Hours Later
It was late in the afternoon.
Naruto and Sasuke had a small tent set up near a tree, in which Sakura was rested on a straw mat, with a fire burning only a few feet away for warmth.
Team 10 watched on from the bushes.
Ino whispered, "I told you I could track Forehead's chakra color anywhere. She's taking a nap right there!".
Shikamaru sighed.
"But we don't even know if they're the team that impersonated you.".
Ino snapped, "Shut up, of course it was them! I bet Forehead colluded with that retard and had him disguised as me.".
Choji munched on cookies as he suggested, "Maybe it was Sasuke?".
Ino hissed, "No! Sasuke would never do that! Besides, I had my eyes on him the whole time -- he was just standing around.".
Shikamaru rolled his eyes.
"That's totally not creepy at all.".
Ino reprimanded, "Shut it! Instead of arguing, let's just watch Team Seven and wait for the right moment to strike.".
In the tent, Sasuke sat in the corner, eyeing what he could of the mark on Sakura's neck.
That mark should have been my strength? What could that possibly mean?
When Naruto came waddling back to the tent, the Uchiha scrambled to place a pillow under Sakura's neck to cover the mark.
Sasuke asked, "Where have you been, Dope?".
Naruto answered, "I employed the tactics from one of Sakura's books... Did you know she's got a whole plan for setting up traps in this exact situation? I guess I shouldn't be surprised, since the whole tent's her design, too, but still, it's unbelievable how good she is at this...".
Cute and dangerous. Isn't that Jiraiya's taste? Barf. Still hot, though.
Naruto kneeled and placed a hand on Sakura's forehead.
"Her fever ain't as bad as it was an hour ago. Think we can carry 'er to the tower?".
Sasuke chortled.
"I never took you for such a lame jackass. I mean, really-- carry her?".
Naruto retorted, "Not all of us are emotionally retarded, asshole.".
Sasuke shot back, "I don't know about emotionally, but you're definitely mentally retarded, Retard.".
The blonde frowned.
"Whatever.".
A group of genin landed in the clearing.
When Naruto and Sasuke turned to see who it was, they saw that it was the Sound team who had attempted to harass Sasuke earlier.
Naruto cried, "Hey, how'd you get past my traps?!".
Dosu told him, "A legless, armless, deaf, blind baby with one lung could've avoided those traps.".
Naruto blushed.
Dosu then turned to Sasuke and taunted, "Now, Sasuke... We didn't get to finish our conversation earlier; let's fix that.".
He swayed as he slowly approached Team 7.
Naruto rose to his feet and said, "We're not in the mood for your stupid conversations, oh dear Pharaoh.".
Dosu ignored him once again, speaking directly to Sasuke.
"On behalf of Orochimaru...".
Naruto's eyebrow rose.
That name... I've heard it before, haven't I?
Sasuke gasped.
That's the man who attacked me...
He put a hand in front of Naruto and ordered, "Back off, Dope. I have some business to deal with.".
Naruto argued, "What, with King Tut? He's bad news, ya know!".
Sasuke ignored him.
He cautiously stepped closer to Dosu, who mimicked his actions in his own mysterious manner.
Once the boys were no more than a few inches away from each other, the conversation continued.
Dosu whispered, "You didn't get Orochimaru's gift, did you?".
Sasuke scoffed.
"Tch-- No, and I don't want it either!".
Dosu leaned in.
"Will you be so adamant about that when you see what it can do?".
Sasuke shoved the older boy and stepped back.
He affirmed, "I have no need for anything from you or your ilk.".
Dosu backed off and chuckled lowly.
"We'll see.".
Both boys retreated to their respective team.
Dosu ordered, "Kin, it's time for plan B.".
Kin smirked.
"I was hoping it'd come to this.".
She pulled out an object from her pocket that Naruto could not discern.
He shouted, "Hey, what're you doing?!".
Kin replied, "Is there a problem? It's just a lighter! Can't a girl have a smoke?".
Naruto shouted back, "It's bad for you!".
Kin responded, "Well, it's worse for you!".
This is for kicking me, Twerp!
Kin lit the lighter and tossed it at the tent.
In a flash, the entire tent was set afire, forcing Naruto and Sasuke to scramble for their belongings.
Frighteningly, as they turned, a ring of fire formed around Sakura's body.
From the source of the tent fire to the fire they themselves had made, the wall stood meters high - - unnaturally big for a fire with such small sources.
Sasuke fell back and watched in horror.
Team 10 found themselves frozen.
Meanwhile, Naruto attempted to run through the fire to retrieve Sakura, but found himself stopping short due to the heat. He'd gotten too close, to the point that he could feel his own eyes searing.
If I just hadn't taken her pouch, I could've gotten her out of there by now!
The fire began to turn a thick, venomous, purple color. Its intensity was so great that the entire clearing was now covered in a faint purple glow.
Suddenly, a hand shot out of the wall of fire and grabbed Naruto by the throat.
What?! It looks like--
He was violently thrown across the clearing, and found himself unable to counteract.
I feel so weak... What's happening to me?
His head smashed into a tree and he immediately fell unconscious.
The wall of fire roared with even greater might, such that it blinded Team 10 watching from the bushes.
Out of the ring of fire walked Sakura.
Her clothes were tattered, and her skin was enveloped in innumerable tomoe. Her eyeballs had gone black, and the irises of her eyes were yellow. In addition, her skin was paler than before, and she pushed her hair all the way back.
As if she were feral, she spotted the genin in the clearing with her.
Before any of them could blink, she knocked Sasuke down with a punch, instantly dashed over to Kin, giving her the same treatment, and was about to give Zaku the same treatment when Dosu frantically slapped a sealing tag onto her skin.
Upon application, the tag turned purple, as Sakura's skin reverted to its normal color and texture, as well as her eyes, as she stumbled backwards and fell into the arms of Sasuke, who had gotten up to stop her.
She sleepily opened her eyes and saw the boy, muttered, "Sasuke?...", and fell asleep once again.
The mystical blinding from the fire hadn't worn off Team 10, but Ino was petrified.
Is Sakura okay?
Though most of her vision was spotty, she was able to detect Naruto lying at a tree nearby.
This is gonna be so gross, but I don't know what else I can do!
She brought her hands together and utilized her mind transfer technique, sending her spirit into Naruto's body.
Jesus, why's it feel so crowded in here?
Ino, now in Naruto's body, rose and used his clear-seeing eyes to witness what was occurring in the clearing.
She saw that Sasuke had engaged in battle with Dosu, as the ring of fire had faded and Sakura was asleep on the mattress again.
Kin laughed.
"Don't be too rough on the guy -- you don't wanna ruin such a handsome little face like that!"
Ino used Naruto's hands to make the sign for her technique again.
Time to even the odds!
As Dosu pinned Sasuke to the ground, Ino found herself in control of Kin's body.
She shouted, "Hey, you with the bandages! Stop fighting Sasuke right now, or the girl gets it!".
Dosu looked up at the voice, and saw that Kin was holding a kunai up to her own neck.
Quickly understanding what was happening, he simply remarked, "If you do that, you'll only be hurting yourself. I know how that technique works.".
Ino, as Kin, threatened, "Oh, really?! You must be real confident that a secret maneuver doesn't exist to bypass that effect!".
Dosu laughed.
"Of course I'm aware of that possibility. What I am confident in, however, is that a snot-nosed little kid like you couldn't possibly know something so advanced, if it even exists.".
Ino stamped her - - Kin's - - foot and announced, "Fine then, I'll do it!", and slowly pressed the knife against her neck.
Dosu permitted, "Go ahead...".
Ino pressed the knife further to scare Dosu and Zaku, but neither boy budged an inch, besides Dosu keeping the squirming Sasuke pinned under his knee.
Even after breaking skin, neither Dosu nor Zaku moved at all.
At that point, Ino relented," Oh, fine! You got me!".
Don't worry, Sasuke, I'll find a way to help you!
She transfered herself back to her own body via the Yamanaka secret jutsu.
Yet, Kin still looked displaced. Her eyes were wide, and her posture became more tense than before.
Noticing her strange stance, Zaku asked, "Hey, Kin, what's wrong?"
Kin hesitated to respond. She looked down and brought her hands up to her breasts, pushing them up and watching them fall.
Even Sasuke was watching in confusion at this point.
Finally, 'Kin' shouted in a completely different accent, "Why the Hell am I this arsonist bitch?!".
Sasuke gasped.
That tone of voice...
He squeaked, "N-- Naruto?...".
Similarly, Dosu's eyes widened as he demanded to know, "Hey! What happened to Kin?! Who the Hell are you?!".
'Kin' yelled, "I'm Naruto, you moron! Now tell me how to get outta here!".
Zaku suggested, "That Yamanaka girl, she must've done this as some sort of failsafe!".
Dosu let go of Sasuke, kicked him in the stomach, and looked beyond Kin at the tree Sakura had thrown Naruto towards.
Naruto's body was now standing tall, with a sinister smirk on his face as he began to speak.
His voice now spoke in a more refined accent, as he said, "Finally, I'm free from that Hellscape you call a mind! I'm going to have some fun!".
He turned around and ran into the forest.
Naruto, stuck in Kin's body, followed suit.
It must be Fuuka!
A feminine voice responded to his remark.
Who's Fuuka?
As Naruto ran, he began conversing with the voice.
You must be the girl this body belongs to! What's your name again, Bean? Lean? Teen?
It's Kin, you imbecile! K-I-N, Kin!
K-I-M? Isn't that 'Kim'?
I said it's Kin, with an N, damn it!
Although Naruto came close to losing balance due to his new center of gravity, he found himself able to run faster, longer, and more agile due to the toned body he was in.
Whatever your name is, you've got a great bod! Show me your trainin' regiment when we're all good, okay?
Screw you! As soon as I'm back in control, I'm stabbing you!
Good luck, bitch, you'll need it!
I'm not a bitch!
Are too!
Am not!
Are too!
Am not!
Fuuka, in Naruto's body, tripped.
Thus, Naruto was able to catch up to her and grab her in a tackle, pinning his own body down.
He demanded, "Alright, put me back in my body!".
Fuuka spat, "What are you talking about? I didn't do this!".
She suddenly kicked Naruto in Kin's stomach, forcing him to keel over in pain. She then threw a flashbang and ran off.
Naruto complained, "Damn it all!...", as he gave chase again.
Ugh, I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel right with this voice.
And just what exactly is wrong with my voice, pray tell?
What? No, nothin'! It just ain't me!
That's right, because it's me!
That's my point!
You have no point!
You don't neither!
Do too!
Do not!
Do too!
Do not!
Do-- ah, forget it! Listen, we need a plan!
I have a plan -- catch the bitch!
You caught her-- him-- you?-- whatever! -- before, and all you succeeded in was getting my stomach bruised!
Nuh-uh! I also succeeded in figuring out that she isn't the reason we're in this situation!
I already know why we're in this situation! That stupid Yamanaka kid messed up her technique!
How does that get me in your body?!
She obviously went through your body first! But who could've known that you're a damn schizophrenic?!
I'm not a schizo! And that could just be a distraction!
Then how do you explain all of this?!
It's complicated!
Moron... I bet you don't even know.
Do too!
Do not!
Do too!
Explain it, then!
No!
Well, I'm older, so you have to listen to me!
Do not!
Do too!
Do not!
Do too!
Do not!
Just listen to me, it can't hurt!
Yes it can!
Cannot!
Can too!
Shut up! I'm tired of this constant arguing! Just listen to me!
... Say 'please'.
No.
Then I won't listen.
What? No, come on!--
What's that? I didn't hear 'please'...
You-- fine! Please listen to me?
That's more like it.
I have senbon in my pouch, I want you to grab the ones that are silver -- they cause temporary paralysis, so you can use them to stop your body from running while we figure out a solution.
Naruto reached into the pouch and pulled out three senbon.
Silver, okay. I've got it, Kin.
Good, now just aim center mass and throw!
Naruto obeyed.
He found that Kin's eyes and hands were much better trained for ranged weaponry, and almost saw a target on his body's back as he automatically tossed the senbon with perfect form.
The senbon found their target, and Fuuka collapsed directly outside the edge of a river.
Alright, time for answers.
Naruto rolled his body over, only to see that Fuuka was unconscious.
Kid, you used the silver ones, right?
What kinda question?... Of course I did!
Then why is your body unconscious, as opposed to paralyzed?
You tell me!
Oh, dear... You moron, you used the gray ones!
The gray ones?!
Yes, the gray senbon!
I threw silver!
You threw gray!
How am I supposed to tell the difference?!
Silver isn't gray!
Is too!
Is not!
Is too!
Is not!
Is too!
Is not!
Naruto punched the ground, and immediately felt a sharp twinge of pain.
That hurts a lot more in this body!
It should hurt anybody!
Not me! I heal fast!
Well, I don't!
Naruto hung Kin's head down and sighed.
Okay, fine. I'm sorry. I should be more considerate. Happy now?
Whatever.
'Whatever'? Whatever.
Naruto opened Kin's eyes and looked at her reflection in the running water.
He absentmindedly stated, "It looks just as alien to me as my real face...".
Feeling her stomach rumble, Naruto sat back and roused her pockets.
He found and applied hand sanitizer, as well as a wrapped tofu sandwich.
"Tofu? Yuck... But she ain't got anythin' else...".
He unwrapped and bit into the sandwich.
To his surprise, the taste was immaculate.
"Mmm, oh, man-- must be 'cause of her taste buds.".
He happily chomped down on the sandwich, devouring bite after bite until it was done.
"What a great meal, whoo!".
He stood up and stretched her body as best he could, feeling every inch of relief after a hectic and stressful day.
"Heh, I wonder what else is different about this body...".
With an evil grin, he brought her hand down and pulled her shirt forward, admiring the top-down view of her chest. He then began to reach inside the shirt.
Don't you dare!
It's nothing I haven't seen before!
Then you don't need to see it again! Besides, what happened to being considerate of my body?!
Okay, fine! I'll stop.
Naruto let go of the shirt.
And don't get any more funny ideas.
Hey, what if we need to pee?
Hold it in.
You'll get an infection.
I don't care.
That's what they all say, but hindsight is 20/20.
Fine, if we need to pee, just close my eyes and I'll guide you through it. Don't get handsy, though, Pervert.
If you think I'm a pervert, you're a real sweet summer child, y'know.
Waiting for Fuuka to wake up, Naruto leaned back and sat against a tree.
Can you stop manspreading, please?
Manspreading?
Yeah, it's that stupid thing that men do whenever they sit anywhere. They spread their legs wide like some animals.
I can't speak for every guy, but I spread my legs to spare my balls from getting crushed.
Well, I don't have balls, so stop spreading!
Fine, fine!
Naruto brought Kin's legs together, leaving no space between her thighs.
That's better.
It feels kinda empty.
Because it is empty. You know what girl parts are, right?
Of course I know! I got a C in biology!
You gotta see in what?
Biology.
How do you see in biology?
I meant C! A C!
A.C.? What are you talking about?!
I'm-- you're messing with me!
Hahaha, you bet I am!
I'm shuttin' you out.
Can't shut me out of my own body.
Can't hurt to try.
Don't you dare.
Naruto sighed again, looking at the sky. In his boredom, he stimulated himself by lazily slapping his - - Kin's - - legs together back and forth.
Y'know, this is a lot more comfortable without anything to squeeze in between.
You mean, guys really have to worry about squeezing their... Thing all the time?
What? No, not really. We just unconsciously avoid doing that. Why are we even talkin' about this?
You spoke first.
Just then, Naruto heard his real body begin to groan. When he looked towards it, he saw that it was barely moving besides the breathing, and realized just how quiet the groaning really was.
Even your hearing is better than mine. What's your secret?
Would 'girl power' work for you?
No. You don't expect me to believe that guys and girls have different ears, do ya?
Well, our ears are different in some ways, but fine, I'll admit that girl power isn't the reason my hearing is so finely tuned.
Then, what is it? The reason.
State secret.
Lame.
I know it is. Still not sharing.
Fine. I'm, uh, sorry, by the way.
What for?
Getting your stomach bruised. It's gonna hurt in the mornin'.
Then I'll just wake up at noon.
Naruto laughed.
Think it's time to interrogate the body-snatching bitchnaz?
Can't hurt to try.
Amen.
Naruto rose and approached Fuuka.
He placed a hand on his body's throat, feigning a threat of strangulation.
In Kin's authoritative voice, he commanded, "Tell me what you did, now.".
Fuuka reiterated, "I already told you that I'm not the one responsible for this!".
Naruto grunted, "Quit lyin'! This whole thing is a little convenient for ya!".
Fuuka implored, "Listen to me, I'm not the one who did it!".
Naruto groaned and decided to take action.
He began slapping his own body back and forth, speaking between slaps.
"I... Said... Stop... Lyin'... You... Stupid... Woman!".
Hey, what do you mean 'stupid woman'?
I mean she's a stupid woman!
Do you mean she's stupid because she's a woman, or that she's a woman and she's stupid?!
Of course I mean the second one! What's with the third degree?!
I know how men are, don't mess with me!
I don't even know what you're talking about!
Bullshit!
It's actually absolutely zero shit!
At that point, Naruto noticed that he'd been slapping his body the whole time. His cheeks were now red, and Fuuka had once again fallen unconscious. Consequently, Kin's hand had gone red, and hurt from the constant slapping.
Oops.
Yeah, oops.
Look at what you did! How are we ever going to get any answers when you're such a colossal idiot?!
It's not my fault! You distracted me!
It's your fault for getting distracted!
Nuh-uh!
Naruto whined, "Gahhhh!", and sat down in frustration.
Sitting around and moping won't help.
Can't hurt to try.
Yes, it can.
Can not!
Can too!
Can not!
Can-- no! I'm not doing this. Just-- when your body wakes up again, be smarter about what you do. It's no fun being a prisoner in my own body.
I hear ya. As fun as it is being you, I'd much rather be myself. No offense.
Wh-- yeah, none taken.
Hey, you said that this might be Yamanaka's fault, right?
'Might be'? I know for a fact that it is!
Yeah, okay, whatever. I'm just saying, since any injury sustained by the victim of the Yamanaka technique is also sustained by the Yamanaka's original body, doesn't that mean that a connection still exists between the technique's user and their soul?
That's actually an interesting line of thought. I don't see why not.
So, maybe there's some way to get back into my own body without the Yamanaka technique.
That theory might just hold some water...
You really think so?
Yeah! Hey, you know the story of Snow White?
I'm not kissing myself.
But--
No.
Just--
I said 'no'!
Fine! Maybe there's some other chakra connection you can use.
Chakra connection? Like, connect my-- er, your chakra -- to my body?
Yeah, and since you're the one in control, it should be easier to connect.
Right... Maybe I can use the same idea behind walking on trees and water, just on a psychic plane rather than a physical level.
Exactly.
Alright, here goes nothing.
Naruto kneeled beside his body and placed Kin's hands around his head.
Through a strained effort, Naruto attempted to create synergy between his body and the mind he was occupying.
The color of the chakra he felt was inhuman - - it felt as if he was watching poison flow through his veins.
"Ugh...".
Nonetheless, Naruto knew what he needed to do.
In order to create the synergy that he needed, he would have to accept the evil in his body.
Hey, what's taking so long?
I-- I dunno if I wanna do this...
Well, you can't stay in my body!
I know I can't! And I won't, I swear! It's just-- you weren't completely wrong about calling me a schizo.
What do you mean?
State secret...
Bite me.
I totally can right now.
It'll hurt!
You'll be more hurt once I'm outta here!
Alright, fine, I'll pipe down! Just don't do anything rash.
I'm glad we've settled this amicably.
Naruto once again concentrated on uniting his spirit with his own body, finding it somewhat easy due to the bond between the two.
With a heavy exhale, he unleashed all the chakra in Kin's body through his psyche, simultaneously exhausting her and thrusting his spirit through the chakra.
When Naruto opened his eyes again, they truly were his own.
Although he couldn't see any part of his body yet, he knew in his heart - - his own heart - - that he had truly succeeded in his return.
When he tried to get up, he felt a heavy object weighing down on him.
A look towards his chest revealed that it was Kin's body.
Using all her chakra must've tired her out. Hope she's okay.
Making sure to protect Kin's head, Naruto used all his might to roll over, such that her back was on the ground, and he was comfortably above her.
He asked, "Hey, Peen, you awake?".
Kin's eyes fluttered. She muttered something, but Naruto didn't understand.
He leaned in closer, requesting, "Could you repeat that?".
She shouted, "I told you before, it's KIN!".
Naruto blushed as he jumped back, profusely apologizing.
When the air was calm again, Kin teased, "Admit it, you liked being me.".
Naruto replied, "Oh-- well, uh-- I can think of worse things than bein' a chick, but I don't really wanna be a girl as much as I wanna be with a girl, y'know?".
"Yeah, I get it...".
Naruto sat back and questioned, "So, what was with the whole arson thing? You could've really hurt Sakura.".
Kin deflected, "No way, the whole thing was a demonstration of the power she has.".
"What?".
"Oh, you didn't see... Well, I've said too much. State secrets.".
The blonde frowned.
"I'll tell you my secret if you tell me yours.".
Kin's expression turned curious.
"You first.".
"Okay... So, the reason that my body ran off on its own is because...".
"...".
"I'm a human experiment. I said you were almost right about the schizo thing, and what I meant was that a secret subdivision of the Leaf's military implanted chakra from a frozen departed soul into my body when I was young, and she's gained some semblance of sentience.".
"A secret military subdivision?".
"Yeah, and it was all illegal, too. Old Man Hokage busted them personally and saved me. That's why I became a shinobi, out of loyalty to the village!".
Please buy my bluff, come on...
"Boy, that's real interesting. I lied, by the way; I'm not telling you anything.".
Naruto cried, "You can't do that! That's unethical!".
Kin mocked, "Come on, I know we spent some time together, but I'm not about to risk my life for you just yet!".
Naruto sighed.
At least she bought it. Hope that built some rapport... Now I just gotta push the envelope a bit.
Naruto rose and began to feign anxiety.
He stammered, "H--hey, so you're not gonna try to kill me or nothin', a-are ya?".
Kin rolled her head over to look at him and responded, "No; don't be crazy...".
She asked, "Hey, Blondie, you know the hokage personally, right?".
Naruto gulped and answered, "Yep, I got his number and everythin', and we hang out sometimes.".
Kin pressed, "Are you lying?".
"What?".
"Are you lying?!".
"No, I'm not lying! I can prove it!".
"Then prove it, right now!".
Naruto flimsily pulled a small flip-phone with an antenna out of his pocket.
No signal here, though...
"This thing, it's got a little camera in it -- it's crap, but it works, just look through the gallery!".
He tossed the phone to Kin, who promptly caught it.
She scrolled through the gallery.
So, this is what phones with cameras are like? It's a lot more pixelated than film, but the fact that it works is a marvel on its own!
She slowed the scrolling down when she came across a selfie of Naruto aiming a rubber band at the hokage's crotch.
This is how he treats his leader?
As she scrolled through, she found a few more photos of Naruto and the hokage, all clearly showing that they were close with each other.
Naruto watched on as Kin analyzed the phone.
Why does she wanna see the Old Man so bad? He's old, and wrinkly.
Kim choked up, and tears began to fill her eyes as she finally sat up.
She brought herself to her knees, and then her feet, handing the phone back to Naruto, clasping his hand.
She pleaded, "Please, Kid, you gotta help us -- me and my team, I'm begging you!".
Naruto asked, "Help you with what?".
She told him, "The Sound is a shithole! A-and our government is just a school of puppets for an evil S-O-B named Orochimaru; he's the one who told us to set your camp on fire. Please, help my team defect to the Leaf!".
Naruto wriggled his hand free and stepped back.
"Defect?... I mean, I can't guarantee anything, but I can try...".
Kin fell to her knees and clasped her own hands together.
She begged, "Oh God, thank God for you-- you'll be saving our lives!".
Naruto began to feel discomfort.
He kneeled down similarly and held Kin's hands, his eyes piercing through hers.
He requested, "Look, the whole begging thing is making me uncomfortable. Let's just sit for a bit and have a drink of water or somethin'.".
Defectors from the Sound? It's not unheard of, but I've heard about how hard it is to get outta there.
With great unease, the genin sat next to each other at the edge of the river, as Naruto handed her a water bottle.
Then again, treachery isn't unheard of, either.
He turned his neck to watch as she peacefully drank the water, with her glistening sweat shining under the light of the setting sun.
Blushing, Naruto looked back down, watching his reflection in the river.
Uncertainty captured his very soul as he scoured the depths of his mind for any semblance of clarity.
After a while of sitting in silence, the rustling of fauna signaled new arrivals.
Naruto and Kin stood up, to gratefully find that it was their respective teams, along with Team 10, all shying away from animosity between each other.
Beyond that, they were all covered in dirt, scratches, and small cuts all over -- every single one of them.
Naruto's eyes then darted towards Sakura, who was clearly the most exhausted, with her eyes dim as she continued to breathe shortly.
Naruto asked, "What the Hell happened to you guys?".
Sasuke huffed as he replied, "Oh, huff seems like you're back to normal. huff We were all brawling for a while...".
Zaku continued, "Then we dragged out Team 9 after finding them, huff and we fought them, too...".
Dosu fell to his hands and knees and added, "We stopped fighting after a while, just to find you guys...", before collapsing.
Naruto and Kin looked at each other.
They both stated, "And I thought we had it bad!".
My birthday came and went as I was writing this chapter.
Thanks for reading, please review! (It's how I get my nutrients)