Title: Funny Valentine
Rating: PG/K+
Originally posted: February 2018
Originally written for: inalasahl, based on her prompt, for Chocolate Box 2018 on Dreamwidth & AO3
Characters/Pairings: Bucky/Nat & Steve
Notes: none

"In case you were wondering, you're not funny."

"Natasha? I just woke up, I don't-"

"I'm telling you, Rogers, I know you probably think you're amusing or cute or something, but you're really not, at all," she told him sharply.

Sitting up in bed, Steve put a hand to his forehead and tried to get his bearings. Clearly something had upset Black Widow, and that was never good, but for the life of him, he had no idea what it would be or how it could be his fault.

"Nat, whatever it is you think I've done to offend you, could you please just tell me what it is?"

No sooner had he asked the question than Bucky came rushing into the room, startling Steve completely. He was waving his arms around like a crazy windmill, even as Natasha started to explain herself in Steve's ear.

"Fine, I'll play along," she said, sounding pissed yet. "Today is Valentine's Day, and suddenly I seem to be the owner of a large heart-shaped box of chocolates, an over-sized teddy bear, and so many flowers I feel like I won the Kentucky Derby."

"And you think I sent those? As a joke?" asked Steve, grinning like a Cheshire Cat as he put it all together.

"Well, I'm hoping you didn't send them as a serious attempt at romance," said Natasha in his ear. "You're cute, soldier, but a little vanilla for my taste."

"I don't think I'm the soldier you're looking for, Nat," Steve told her, trying not to laugh, even as Bucky face-palmed, belatedly realising he had done so with his metal hand, and immediately regetting the action. "You wanna talk to the real culprit? Although, honestly, I don't think any of this was a joke to him."

Bucky looked defeated as Steve fought with the cell phone, clearly trying to remember the instructions given to him at least forty times by Stark. Eventually he had the phone on video chat and was aiming the forward facing camera at his friend.

"I'm gonna grab a shower, let you two love birds figure this out," said Steve, faking a punch at Bucky's shoulder as he ran out of the door.

"You?" said Nat, staring up at Bucky from the phone screen. "You seriously did all this?"

"Seriously, yeah," he told her, pushing his hair back off his face. "I know it's dumb, to you, anyway, I just... the first time I did this, this was how you showed a girl you liked her."

Nat bit her lip, and if she had the ability anymore, she probably would've blushed.

"You like me," she said, a statement not a question because she got it now. "Okay. So, flowers, candy, stuffed animal, I'm guessing the next thing is you showing up at my door in a tux to take me to dinner? I mean, that's how it was done back then, right?"

"Right," Bucky agreed, face breaking out in a grin now that he realised she was actually asking him to take her out. "So, uh, I should come pick you up at seven?"

"You definitely should," Natasha told him, smiling back at him. "Don't keep me waiting, Mr Barnes."

"A gentleman never keeps a lady waiting, Miss Romanoff," he told her, seriously. "Of course, I'm not always a gentleman," he reminded her.

"Oh, I'm counting on that," she told him, eyebrow raised, before she ended the call without another word.

Bucky could not stop grinning. He had never looked forward to a date so much in his entire life.