Chapter 15: A Thousand Years?
Swords clashed against swords and shields. Loki, Sif, and the Warriors Three were training in the courtyard while teaching Kelsey the basics. Sif provided Kelsey with a tad heavy armor for her and even lent her a short, ruffle skirt and leggings to run around instead of tripping in a long dress.
"You must keep your arm up," Sif instructed, swinging her sword against Kelsey's.
"I'm trying, but this sword is too heavy," Kelsey grunted, dropping the shield to hold the sword with two hands instead of one. When Sif clashed against Kelsey's sword, Kelsey dropped it and quickly jumped back to keep a safe distance from the blade. How the Asgardians could tolerate the weight of these weapons remained a mystery to Kelsey. Swinging the sword was like swinging a dumbbell.
"Maybe sword training isn't what Kelsey needs, Sif," Fandral suggested, sheathing his sword. "I am sure her world does not use weapons as we do anymore."
"No," Kelsey agreed, massaging her sore, shaky forearms. "we only use firepower and combat training."
"That is exactly what you need!" Volstagg spoke up, lifting his finger at her.
Kelsey perked up at his words, stretching her arms and mentally preparing for the lessons, "I'm in. Are you going to teach me?"
"No," Loki spoke up, standing behind Kelsey to peer over Volstagg with an amused smirk. "Volstagg won't be teaching you. He is much better with an ax rather than his lard belly."
Uh-oh. Kelsey raised her brows briefly before she pressed her lips together to hide the nervous smile. A breathy laugh escaped through her nose, preventing the noise from coming out. Once again, she wasn't prepared for Loki's choice of words. This wasn't funny, and everybody knew it.
"I beg your pardon, Loki," Volstagg asked, his grin slackened slightly.
"Oh, did I offend you, Volstagg?" Loki blinked and put his hand on his chest. "Forgive me, my friend. I meant no disrespect." Volstagg raised a brow, debating whether or not the god of mischief meant it. "I hear you express yourself with the synonymous description repeatedly. I figured it was alright to say it - my mistake." Kelsey breathed out through her mouth in relief. It was good that he apologized. However, most of the group didn't believe the sincerity.
Volstagg scoffed and dismissed the apology with a wholehearted grin, "No need to fret, my mischievous friend. I know I have gained a few pounds," Volstagg patted his stomach to prove a point, "and I may not have your stamina and size. Although, I do have the muscle and the axe to kick your arse."
The rest of the group snickered or smirked at Volstagg's comeback, ignoring the trickster's fallen reaction. Kelsey grinned on the outside, but on the inside, she thought, 'Uh-oh. Here we go.' She could almost hear the bell ring in her mind whenever a wrestling match was about to begin.
"Perhaps," Loki agreed, "though not nearly as strong as Thor and his bloody hammer, isn't that right, Sif?" He smirked at the raven-haired goddess, who silently narrowed her eyes at him.
Uh-oh. Kelsey could see where the line was drawn among the group. A part of her didn't want to be here to witness this altercation. At least Loki wasn't taking a jab at her - his friend. She didn't understand why Loki wanted to belittle each one; they didn't do anything wrong today.
As far as she knew.
"And what of you, Loki?" Hogun challenged. "What do you have to offer?"
"I studied magic and capoeira."
Kelsey furrowed her brows at Loki questionably, "Capoeira?"
"It's a fighting style," Fandral explained, rolling his eyes.
"Never heard of it," Kelsey stated honestly.
"Hardly anyone does," Hogun agreed.
"I learned it from my mother," Loki stated proudly. "Which is why I shall instruct you, Kelsey, instead of Fandral with his alleged skills."
Uh-oh. It's on for real. Kelsey surveyed the arena, finding a corner or seat to keep a safe distance.
Fandral blinked in disbelief, "Did you say alleged? I do have the skills to fight, Loki, better than you!"
"Did I not say 'agile'?" Loki narrowed his eyes challengingly. "Maybe it is your self-perfecting conscious that suggest otherwise?"
"You did not say 'agile'!" Fandral cried before turning to address his friends. "Did you all hear that word slip from his silvery tongue?!" Sif was the first to state her testimony by raising her hand and avowing the truth. Then Hogun.
"What? What was the question?" Volstagg honestly didn't pay much attention, for he was too busy celebrating his own roast of a comeback to the trickster.
"Kelsey?" As if two witnesses weren't enough, Fandral couldn't help but drag Loki's friend into the debate she didn't want to be a part of. This seemed familiar - the time when Kelsey's parents had fought, and they, too, dragged her into the middle to settle the debate. She was Team Mom seventy-five percent of the time.
The girl raised her hands in surrender as many eyes turned her way.
"Leave her out of this, Fandral," Loki ordered, baring his teeth in a near snarl.
Fandral frowned, stepping closer to Loki, "Are you challenging me, my dear friend?"
"Stand down, men," Hogun commanded, but his words meant nothing, for neither man moved an inch apart.
Loki pursed his lips, "I would if your alleged skills were a challenge."
Oh, shit. Kelsey wanted to hide or find someone bigger to break up the fight. She did neither of those things. Instead, she froze and spaced out as best she could, pretending to be in another world.
Fandral poked the British god's shoulder, "You listen here, Loki, I - Ah!" Fandral was cut off as Sif flipped him over the shoulder, letting him fall on his back.
Loki stood there with mock expectancy as Fandral winced from the collision on his back, "I'm listening." He smirked at the flipper who approached him next, "I'm quite surprised, Sif, that you decided to - Ah!" Sif also flipped him, causing the rest to laugh in the men's dismay.
"What was that for?!" Fandral demanded, getting up on his feet.
"That was completely unnecessary, you mewling quim!" Loki barked at Sif. "How dare you!" Kelsey could see that hateful look in his eye as if he was ready to kill. She needed to steer clear of it. Looking at Sif, she wasn't affected by Loki. The woman had grown accustomed to his tantrums.
"I want you both to stop acting like a couple of two-hundred-year-olds!"
Kelsey raised her brows. Two-hundred-year-olds? How old are they currently? She knew that birthdays didn't matter to them, considering they were immortal.
"He started it!" Fandral jabbed a finger at the trickster.
"And you tried to finish it," Hogun added.
"Listen, there are four - five of us with many different skills," Sif addressed the group, stepping away from the humiliated men to wrap her arm around the mortal. "Instead of competing with one another, we should all work together to teach this young woman how to fight. I am willing to share what I know with her. Could you men do the same?"
The four men looked at each other, then at Kelsey standing there and waiting for their response. Eventually, Volstagg lifted his arm over his chest, Hogun, Fandral, and finally, her friend.
"For you, My Lady," Fandral told Kelsey, bowing his head to her.
The teen smiled, excited to learn more martial arts, "Sif, can you show me how to do the flip again?"
Sif laughed, agreeing full-heartedly before addressing the men with a question, "Who wants to help me demonstrate?" Neither man volunteered. Instead, they pointed at each other, arguing why the individual should help Sif demonstrate.
"Men," Sif rolled her eyes at the cowardice. They all refused to sacrifice their pride for a simple lesson.
"Tell me about it," Kelsey grumbled. She quickly trapped the goddess's arm by holding her sleeve while she wrapped the other around her back, grabbing the holster. Kelsey bent over to flip Sif over by clumsily sliding her body off Kelsey's back, catching the goddess off guard and silencing the men. It took them a moment to process this display: Sif was lying on her side while Kelsey was hunching over with her hands on her knees. Sif reacted by laughter, still lying on the ground.
Kelsey let it out, and her face flushed red, "Did I... Did I do it, right?"
"We don't know. Maybe you should flip her one more time," Fandral suggested lightly. He, too, couldn't help but snort, which shifted into snickers. Everyone was sharing a moment of playful fun except one. Kelsey caught Loki smirking at her as if he was up to something devious. It might be her imagination, but she could've sworn he winked at her. Loki was proud of her. Whether it was payback for Sif flipping him or the so-called flip itself, her face couldn't get any redder as the butterflies fluttered vigorously in her stomach.
~000~000~000~
Darcy and Garrett were chilling at the diner, taking a break from the sweaty work inside the lab. AJ returned to summer school, much to his dismay. Jane was working her butt off to create a wormhole device with Thor assisting her. Erik suffered a hangover and slept through the day at the motel. Garrett was surprised to see Thor walking into the lab, unaffected by the alcohol. He supposed Thor could hold his liquor better than Erik, for they drank the same amount.
The weather became more humid than usual thanks to last night's rain. Fans - both handmade and electrical - were out, and air conditioners blew a degree lower than normal - sixty-two degrees.
Izzy served Garrett a hamburger with fries while Darcy finished onion rings and chicken salad. She had an unopened Coca-Cola can on the table and didn't think to bring extra for Garrett—typical Darcy.
The owner offered her condolences about Kelsey and promised to keep her eyes peeled and have the child in her prayers. Word spread quickly about Kelsey's disappearance. It was on the news - both on TV and in the media. Jane had to scare away a few reporters, threatening to call the police if they didn't leave the premises. Garrett did tell Jane that she required curtains for the glass windows. Agent Coulson had a few choice words with one reporter who tried investigating the crime scene, promising that if one tried to cross the fence or bother the family, that person would be prosecuted for interfering with a federal investigation.
Both young adults thanked Izzy as she moved on to another table.
Garrett hummed with satisfaction, "This food is much better than ju-uh-um-" he stopped himself from adding an unflattering location. "School."
"No surprise." If Darcy was suspicious from the near slip-up, she didn't show it as she was too busy eating her face. "Just like the waiters, I'm sure the lunch ladies would spit in your food if you act like a bitch."
"Nah. The ladies were great. Said I was their favorite customer - a real charmer."
"Really? Are you sure they're talking about you?" Darcy murmured, her mouth stuffed with chicken salad.
Garrett ignored the insult, "School has its perks and all, but I'm glad to be done with all that."
"So does everyone else," Darcy swallowed and placed her fork back in the container, "As much as I hate high school, I do miss attending Friday Night Football."
"You mean, you miss watching the jocks tackle each other?" he argued, licking the mustard off his face and fingers. "Don't Culver U have a team?"
"We do," Darcy shrugged, "but I prefer they tackle the other team instead of one their own. Most girls drool over a battered champion athlete, begging for a prom proposal."
"I bet you were one of the cheerleaders who would love to lick up their sweat."
"For your information, I was captain of the chess club. Thank you very much."
"You? Play chess?"
"Most guys chase after brains for grades."
Garrett wouldn't call it brains. Darcy was more of a strategist than intelligent.
"I did have a basketball uniform," he began.
"But you're not a champion athlete," her comment earned an eye roll from Garrett.
"Neither is Culver U."
"Touche," Darcy admitted.
"You think I was a loser at high school, but little did you know, I dated the prom queen and had a scholarship to Houston."
"What happened?"
"What do you mean 'What happened?'"
"Well, you've been using the past tense a lot, meaning you did have a scholarship, yet you're still here and not over there," her eyes raised to the side, not caring if it was the wrong direction to Texas.
"It's summer!"
"And," Darcy continued as if Garrett didn't interrupt her, "you admitted that you did have a prom date, but the problem is, you're here, kissing up to Jane but not your girl."
"What's your point, Lewis?"
"She dumped your ass for the prom king, didn't she?"
"No!" Garrett denied answering quicker than he should've. Darcy's smirk extended. "The breakup was mutual. We were going on our separate ways, and I was... It just didn't work out, is all—nothing to it. Although, if I had to be honest, I would much rather go to prom with... someone else," Garrett daydreamed about the woman back in the lab.
"And you and I both know that would only happen in your dreams!" Darcy gave him a reality check. "Quit making googly eyes on my boss - she's ten years your senior. It's weird."
"No, what's weird is that Jane is allowing the dumb-ass Viking to stay there, and everyone is fine with it, even Erik!"
"Shh!" Darcy hushed him. "Not so loud, you idiot. Do you want everyone to know you've gone crazy?"
"I'm not crazy!" Garrett hissed at her. "You and I both know what happened. People know that Kelsey has gone missing. Her face is all over the local news! Her story beats the armed robbery in Roxxon!"
"Yeah, but we have no proof. If you make a scene about Kelsey getting sucked into a tornado-that's-not-really-a-killing-tornado or Thor being an actual god, you'll be the one wearing a straitjacket instead of a jersey..." Darcy paused at that thought. "On second thought, keep talking. It might actually happen."
Garrett groaned, leaning against his seat and folding his arms over his chest, "I still don't understand why Jane is letting him stay."
"Because Jane thinks he's useful, and I don't blame her. I could sit and stare at that washboard all day or..." she raised her brows and licked her lips teasingly, "maybe lick his aftershave that you so graciously suggested." Garrett snorted. "Seriously though," the teasing dropped instantly, "you need to date someone your age."
"I'm nineteen years old," he retorted. "I can date anybody I want."
"You want to date an older lady? Go to a retirement home."
The bell rang as someone entered the diner.
Garrett looked up and instantly covered his head, "Shit."
"What?" Darcy was about to look over her shoulder, but Garrett swiftly grasped her wrist, forcing her to look back at him.
"Don't," he commanded. "Eyes on the table, then maybe he won't notice us-"
"My friends!" the hunky blonde man approached their table, sitting beside Darcy. Garrett mentally cursed himself in despair.
"Hey, hunk in plaid!" Darcy greeted him flirtatiously, circling her finger around the rim of her unopened can.
"Darcy," Thor bowed his head at her, then at the young man sitting across him. "Sir Garrett."
"What are you doing here?" Garrett demanded with narrowed eyes, earning a kick in the leg by Darcy. "Ow!"
"Be nice, Brad," Darcy scolded him.
"Why are you here?" Garrett questioned Thor; his tone didn't alter, "Aren't you supposed to be aiding Lady Jane?"
"She sent me out on a special quest."
"Which is?" Darcy asked.
"To pick up lunch for us. I didn't realize you two were here."
"Doubt it," Garrett grumbled, quiet enough for Thor not to hear. Then again, the man's eyes suspiciously narrowed at Garrett, causing the boy to shift his seat, fighting the urge to slide underneath the table.
"Aren't you supposed to be in school?" Thor asked, pointing at the teen.
"He cut class," Darcy spoke.
"No! I graduated, plus it's summer vacation," Garrett corrected, angrily glancing at Darcy. She opened her mouth to make another witty remark, but Garrett knew what she would say. "I don't have to go to summer school."
"I don't blame you if you have ditched a day of education," Thor smiled in a dream-like state. "I remember when I was 120 years old..."
The young adults blinked in disbelief. Darcy nearly choked her onion ring, while Garrett almost dropped his burger, though the mustard-covered pickles fell onto the plate. They allowed Thor to continue his tale, oblivious to the man stealing a fry from Garrett's plate.
"My brother and I had a tutor. Easy on the eyes but cold at heart. I desired a break from the witch, so my brother and I hatched a plan to fake an illness so we could sneak out and race on horseback. I won each time, of course." He let out a laugh, "Good times."
"120?" Garrett breathed.
"How old are you?" Darcy asked.
Thor shrugged, stealing another fry, "About to be 1,046 years old."
Darcy swallowed her bite down the wrong tube, making her choke. Her cure for that was drinking Garrett's soda. Meanwhile, Garrett was oblivious to the thievery, for he was stunned by the revelation.
"One thousand and... Dang, man, you should be as old and cranky like my great-grandma Gail. God knows she needs your moisturizer for those wrinkles."
Thor blinked, inspecting his arms to see they were not flabby - all muscle, "Uh... Thank ye, Sir Garrett?"
"Wait, you have to learn many languages?" Darcy asked.
Thor's smile returned, "Why, yes. To become the protector of the Nine Realms, one must understand every native's tongue." He stole two more fries from Garrett's plate.
"Quick! Speak French!" Darcy challenged him.
Thor cleared his throat before speaking, "Ces choses filandreuses que je mange sont délicieux." (These stringy things I'm eating are delicious.)
Darcy smiled dreamily, resting her head on her hand. "I don't know what you just said, but you sound so... sexy."
Garrett rolled his eyes, "I would like him to speak something hard, like Chinese."
Thor lifted a fry and asked, "这个字符串是由什么组成的? 土豆?" (What is this string food made of? Potatoes?)
Garrett widened his eyes at Thor in disbelief. This guy spoke Chinese too? What can't he speak?
"Russian?" Garrett challenged.
"Я должен рассказать своим друзьям об этой струнной картошке, которую я ем. Это хрустящий картофель, как. Когда я стал королем я буду иметь его на завтрак, обед и ужин!" (I must tell my friends about the stringy potatoes I'm eating. It's crispy and potato-like. When I become king, I'll have these for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!)
Garrett leaned back against his chair in defeat, "Well damn." He was about to eat, realizing his fries were almost gone. He looked back at Thor to see that he was the fry thief. "Dude!"
Thor paused in mid-bite, looking at Garrett innocently, "Something wrong, Sir Garrett?"
"You damn right, something is wrong! Are you serious?! You're eating my fries!"
Thor grinned, looking at the curly fries in his hand, "Ah! So that's what these stringy things are called."
"They taste a lot better with ketchup," Darcy explained, taking another fry from Garrett.
Garrett's jaw dropped in disbelief, "W-Wha-"
Darcy poured the right amount of condiment onto a napkin and swiped the fry across the ketchup before taking a bite.
Thor did the same and moaned in satisfaction, "How right you are, Darcy."
"Stop eating my fries!" Garrett cried, protecting his arms around his plate, "Go buy your own!"
That's when Izzy appeared by their table, pouring a refill for Garrett, "You know if you want more fries, you should've asked instead of causing a scene. Your dad might eat like a pig, but let me tell you something, he isn't clean like them." She shook her head, "No, sir. Can't think of the day your father didn't skip the most important step after using the bathroom."
Darcy grimaced, looking like she was about to puke. She immediately dumped the stolen fries back on Garrett's plate, wiping her tongue with a napkin and planning to rinse her mouth with disinfectant later.
"But I know your momma raised you better than that." After placing the bill on the table, Izzy left the scene while Garrett's mouth parted in shock. He immediately objected to one of her implications.
"I do so wash my hands after using the toilet!" Garrett clarified. Once again, he received negative attention from the patrons.
"Good for you, kid," one diner praised. "Be sure your dad does the same if I ever decide to shake his hand tomorrow."
"Great," The teenager concealed his flushed face. To think, his high school days sucked.
"Aww," Darcy cooed. "Brad is blushing. How cute."
"Lewis, shut up," Garrett hissed at her angrily, "or I will make a bigger scene."
Darcy snorted in laughter, "I like to see that. It would be entertaining."
"Darcy enough." Garrett didn't expect the man to speak up for his defense. Darcy closed her jaw and stared at Thor, silently asking if he was serious. "It's obvious that Sir Garrett does not take kindly to your jests. Leave him be," Thor returned the remaining fries to Garrett's plate. "My apologies, Sir Garrett. Allow me to return these fries to you. I promise this has nothing to do with your hygiene."
Thor's gesture took Garrett off guard. Did the crazy dude apologize? The anger Garrett had for Thor melted away slightly. Instead of replying to Thor, Garrett focused on his refilled glass of soda. He picked up the drink, reaching it to his lips.
Thor watched the bubbles fizz rapidly in the drink with suspicion. Drinks don't usually have that color, not to mention the bubbles popping on top. Thor had come across many liquids before, but not like Garrett's. Could it be that something deadly was poured into his drink? If Garrett sipped it, would he be poisoned? Thor didn't want to take the chance. He whipped his hand across Garrett's hand, causing the glass to fly out from Garrett's grasp and shatter onto the ground. The eerie noise captured everyone's attention.
"Dude!" Garrett cried. First, he stole my fries. Now, this! What the hell is his problem?! How many dishes is he gonna break?! Although, after what Izzy blatantly said about his dad in front of everyone, why not fight fire with fire?
"Not again," Darcy mumbled before she peered at Izzy, who was clearly frustrated by the decreased number of dishes. "Sorry, Iz, Brad's a klutz!"
Garrett sent daggers toward Darcy's way before he left the table to clean the mess Thor had made.
"Thor," the teenage boy shook his head, trying to remain calm. "Have you lost your mind?"
"The woman poisoned your drink, Sir Garrett! It is her mind that is lost," Thor stated, pointing at Izzy accusingly. "I had to save you."
"What?!" Izzy exasperatedly cried.
Garrett blinked at Thor's explanation, "Say what now? Why would Izzy poison my drink?"
"Maybe she's sick and tired of your family's lack of sanitation," Darcy grumbled, chugging the rest of her drink out of spite.
"I do not know," Thor admitted, "but I do know with absolute certainty that glass," he pointed at the bubbling liquid on the floor, "has been tampered with."
"Where the hell did you get an idea like that?"
"The bubbles, not to mention the peculiar color. Are you not grateful?"
"Grateful for what?" Garrett was tempted to punch the man silly, "Thor, you didn't save me! I was drinking coke! A carbonating soda! It's supposed to be fizzy and bubbly, fool!"
Darcy laughed, amused that Thor had never tasted soda before.
"I heard nothing of the sort!" Thor argued.
"You should drink it, Thor; it's the best thing ever," Darcy suggested.
"Did you once claim coffee to be the best thing ever?"
"Depends on the day and craving," she offered her can to Thor, who didn't take it. Once again, she was Eve tempting Adam to eat the fruit. To Garrett, this woman was dangerous behind the specs. "Now, you can't say you don't like it if you never tried it. Now come on." Thor hesitantly took it from her hand and swiftly gulped a sip. The room was quiet, waiting for Thor's reaction to the drink. Thor clicked his tongue several times, staring intently at the can.
"My tongue is tingly," Thor commented quietly.
"I know!" Darcy exclaimed, slamming her hand on the table. "That's the best part. You can feel the caffeine energizing your system. Just give it a minute." Thor heeded her advice, taking a couple more sips. He pulled away, and as before, he clicked his tongue again. After what seemed like an eternity, he reacted.
Thor full-heartedly laughed, patting the boy's shoulder, which made him grunt in discomfort, "You are right, Sir Garrett! This drink isn't poison at all. This is better than that drink you mortals call coffee!"
Garrett huffed and continued to clean the glass on the floor. He'd been receiving questions from the other diners about Thor. If Jane were here, she would've lied and said Thor was a distant cousin from a different country, and that's precisely what he told the diners. Garrett didn't know how long he could take this. It's terrible that Thor had to stay, but now he has ruined his lunch, which was supposed to be the cafeteria's job. Jane and Thor's plan to contact this kingdom better work, and it better be soon.