My heart pounded louder than the car radio I was fiddling with, finding something for my idle hands to do. I hadn't been in this part of Virginia in a very long time and I couldn't help but wonder if I'd be welcome.
The lawns neighboring the one I was parked in front of were covered in children's toys. They ranged from different ages but were outside in the summer downpour nonetheless. Not my yard though, it laid flat and bare except for its grass and rose bush showing off its colorful red flowers.
The sight alone was enough to dampen my eyes, but I didn't want to get caught sobbing like a crazy woman so I dried up painfully.
I watched the dining room lights go out, checking my wristwatch to see it turn seven o'clock on the face. It was endearing that they kept the same schedule after all this time. A large breath of nerves escaped from me, and the warm flooding of memories pump back to my vision. All the meals I'd shared with the occupants of the house after my combat training, trying not to get blood from that day's injury on the white placemats.
Deciding I'd spent enough time going down memory lane, it was time to face the music that might play out. I hadn't spoken to Steve Mason since my work with L, and I was sure I had a lot to apologize for.
Even with a small hesitation, my balled-up fist hit the matching rose-red door quickly. It was scary how much the knocking felt so much like my heart trembling.
The sound of locks turning answered me, and the awareness that I would be face-to-face with hopefully Steve hit me like a truck head-on. The door creaked open to that rounded face and body I'd missed. Black bags that hung under his eyes the last time I saw him through a computer screen seemed to have fainted now. I cracked a small smile when I noticed that was the only change I could see.
"So, the rumors are true…"
I knew what he was talking about, everyone on the world wide web thought L was dead and his replacement was a secret Kira supporter with the way the case has been dealt with for the last four years.
All I could do was nod, trying not to let out any more tears on the subject.
"Come on in, Violet, you're going to get soaked."
I thanked him as I walked through and placed my wet shoes on the mat to dry. As my stocking-covered feet touched the cooled beige wood floors, a feeling of long-needed comfort rushed through me like adrenaline.
Swallowed up by the homemade chemical reaction soaking through my brain, I didn't notice Steve call out to his wife until her reaction to seeing me reached my ears. I could hear the tears coat her voice as Josephine cried my real name and planted kisses along my cheek.
"I haven't seen you since you were eighteen! Oh, you're never allowed to leave me again!"
I hugged the late middle age woman, her long salt and pepper hair tickled my neck from our contact. Her motherly love forced me to let my sadness go and sink right into her arms for what seemed like forever. I burnt every feature into my memory bank, her slender manicured hands to her petit frame wrapped around my torso. I wasn't sure if these two hadn't changed too much or if I'm not the same person anymore.
"Excuse us, dear, we have some business to take care of," Steve said, putting his television remote down on their glass coffee table, by the still streaming cup of tea.
Josephine reductively let go of me, thought from the shine in her eyes I knew right away she wasn't done with me yet tonight.
Mothers, I tell you, you disappear for over ten years and they get all clingy.
I mentally giggle at my own words to still the butterflies in my stomach. Steve led me down the hallway, the opening sat perfectly between the dining room and the living room. It never looked like it from the outside, but this house always had enough room for comfort. The beige wall coloring felt like memories as I quickly ran a few fingertips along my walking speed. I hadn't been aware of how much I had missed everything until now.
Steve waved to the lonely oak sitting chair facing his desk. I followed his lead and took my seat, crossing my legs to make me modest.
"I should congratulate you on your promotion," I started, giving a small smile.
The last time the two of us spoke, I had used the SMPTE bars to try and block the second Kira's messages to the first. Doing so gave away my illegal use of American technology to aid L. Throughout the last four years as I worked day and night to reconnect my long-lost ties to the FBI, I was able to repay my debt to him.
"I know what working with L cost you, but I made it right in the end."
Steve Mason lost his position of Director and after some heavy lifting, I heard through the grapevine that yesterday he was repromoted back to Director of the FBI.
Steve sighed.
"You never owned me anything, Violet. I've always acted out in your best interest."
The words were soaked in like poison, stealing my breath. Even with my selfishness, he still acted like my father.
"But, that's not what I brought you in here. You know by now I've reinstated your FBI profile?"
I did, I had the same access as I did before ever getting involved in the Kira case. I had worked under the presumption that my new reconnections had pulled through, not that my father figure had undermined everything first day back in charge.
Steve pulled out the top drawer, digging a little until his rounded fingers pulled something out to give. I knew right off the bat that it was an FBI badge, laminated with its lanyard. It would help me get information and the ability to go into the actual FBI Headquarters if I ever wanted.
The name on it read Violet Petrillo, I stuffed it into my jacket pocket. The reinstatement was the reason I had to pop up in Virginia.
"I need a favor, well two." I began.
"One you can do tonight, the other down the road."
"I'm listening," Steve offered, putting back together his torn-through desk.
"I need you to change my name on the profile. To a Sara Higgins."
Steve looked up at me carefully, trying to read me.
"That name sounds familiar, why?" he asked.
"She was the agent who died two years ago from a drug overdose."
Sara worked out of New York mostly in the civil rights sector, or at least accounting for her personal files I came across while name-hunting the other night.
"I'll have it done by tonight before bed, but the reason for this is…?"
I chewed on the inside of my cheek, trying to figure out how much to say. I didn't think it was safe to admit the L title was under control by the first Kira, and I would bet my life that Light Yagami was the first Kira. Hell, I had no proof of any of it, but it was the best working theory right now.
"Never mind, Violet, I can see that look on your face. Even in death L has you keeping things from me."
The words hurt but it was all true.
"Don't trust L, you've seen how he's acting now." I blurted out of guilt.
The cases that would have drawn in the real L, my L, were being turned away. That was something I could prove with my research from the last few years.
A noise from my inter jacket pocket interrupted the silence and my train of thought. Out of habit, I pulled it from its hiding place to glace over. It was a news clipping from a couple of months ago. The headline read terrible accident on LA freeway. It was a story about a young woman who crashed her motorbike into the back of a semi-truck on the I-76 in Colorado. It goes about how it looked like the female had a heart attack before the crash, written like that one little fact makes the outcome better. Like she was lucky her heart stopped just before her helmet-covered head collided with metal.
It never mentioned the woman's name, so I wrote it down on the back. We all deserve a name at the end of it all, and Mary Kenwood now had hers. I only knew it from the file I used to keep on my desk, thankful I got to spend as much time as I did on the Kira case. I either read it somewhere or heard it from someone that only our enemies leave roses and it has stuck with me ever since. I just never dreamt that it would be I to lay the bouquet at anyone's wake, especially Wedy's.
"What's the other favor? The 'down the road' one you mentioned."
I looked up from my lap, slipping the clipping back in place. Glancing over to the digital clock sitting on his desk, I noticed we'd been sitting in here for close to an hour.
Pretty soon Josephine was going to break in here and scoop me up.
"Near and Mello…" I started, but the words felt like bricks in my chest.
"They are about to set out, leave the nest if you will. I don't trust anyone but you to help them out."
We locked eyes, I wasn't sure how I looked at him at this point, but Steve looked at me with a soft face. He looked at me like a father. The little coloring I had in my cheeks drained out, painting me ghostly. The box of guilt I'd buried deep felt like it was going to rip open and leak.
I wished like hell I was a better daughter to him.
"I'm sorry…" The taste of tears touched my tongue.
For a man of his age and figure, he sure did move quickly when he needed to, wrapping his arms around my sitting body before I knew it.
"I've never had any regrets when it comes to me and you."
A small ache in my chest started to burn.
"Violet, you're my child. I'll never hold anything against you. I'll risk everything again to help you…"
He trailed off, and the split second of nothingness was way too heavy.
"You can count on the FBI to aid Mello and Near in the Kira investigation, Unofficially."