It had been two hours, two long hours.

I had flown back to Wammy's house and arrived a couple of hours earlier than my appointed meeting time with Roger. It was the perfect chance to work out the details between the two of us before the children woke up at eight for breakfast and schooling. We had seen eye to eye on everything except one issue.

"I see no problem with Near and Mello knowing why they've been trained to take over as L."

I started by stating my argument once more, beginning the circle again.

"I disagree, Miss. Petrillo, there is no need for them to hear about it."

Crossing my legs, I let out a heavy sigh.

Why the hell am I even asking? They were my children, so it should be my decision. The bureaucracy is old and tiring anymore when it used to make sense. I brought up the question about L's contingency plan that I had asked before.

"Does it say they can't know anything?"

Again, I am met with silence.

"As head of Wammy's house, I don't think it's necessary to even bring it up."

By the way, that means no and to shut up, I've heard it before.

I pushed a lock of natural golden blonde behind my ear out of frustration, about to remind the older man that unless he planned to manually hush me, there was nothing else to say. My tongue had begun to dance around, getting out the first few syllables, when a soft knock from the door muted the room.

First through the oak door was a young man with the whitest hair I'd ever seen, it hung around his face most familiarly. Even the black orbs studying me as he sat down on the decorative carpet in front of Roger's desk felt borrowed. I felt sick from the deja vu, watching out of the corner of my eye as he started to tinker with the puzzle he had brought in with him.

I fought hard to not wrap my arms around him, I knew I was a stranger to him.

"Near, this is Miss. Petrillo." Roger blurred out, probably noticing the shake in my legs as I had stood up minutes ago.

"Violet, please," I added, hoping my voice was heftier than it felt coming out.

"Hello," was all Near said, already halfway through his puzzle.

It stung unnecessarily and no one was to blame. I couldn't understand it, after all the emotional ups and downs I went through with L, this was going to be the thing to break my spirit. I had to place a hand on the back of the chair gently I was just sitting on, hoping I'd moved with enough grace to hide my true intentions.

"Near, do you know when Mello will be joining us?"

Like an incantation, another tap upon the open door rang out. Another young man taller than the first waited to be welcomed in before shutting the door behind him. If my legs shook at the sight of Near, then my heart skipped for Mello. He had a slight smile on his face as he walked over to join the conversation, but no matter what I couldn't look away because he was wearing my smile. It was my hair color, and my eye shape, he was my copy.

I wondered silently if L knew, if it intrigued him that our children were pretty much our carbon copies.

The only original thing on him was his blue eyes, crisp and light and staring right at me. I could read it on his face that he had noticed it too. Hot pricks burned at the corners of my eyes, trying to blur my vision.

"Who the hell are you?" Mello asked, becoming angry as he started putting pieces together.

I couldn't answer him right away, in fear of the dam in my eyes breaking. All I could do was swallow all the fire in my throat before it singed my vocal cords. I began to apologize, for nothing in particular and everything I was guilty of when a single tear slid down my cheek leaving a warm trail along my face.

"Miss. Petrillo, I thought we agreed-"

Roger tried to steer my decision, but I politely told him to be quiet. I was through with half-truths in the name of justice, it had cost me too much.

"I'm…I'm your mother."

Why was I having so much trouble now, when this was all I wanted for years? Those two very different pairs of eyes felt like they were drilling holes into me.

"You two are…Brothers, Twins…"

I didn't have to worry about Kira giving me a heart attack since all this bubbling emotion I was pushing down would help me meet my end.

Hell, was I even making sense?

"What does L think about your assertion?" Near asked a silky knee covered the part better of his face.

"If he was alive, he wouldn't approve."

"Wait!" Mello raged, drawing closer to me.

"L's dead? Did he name an heir?!"

Roger cleared his throat, gaining control over the room again.

"Yes, a few days before L executed his failsafe plan, Watari sent communications of who L had officially named as the next heir to the title."

I found myself holding onto the little bit of breath inside me, that intuition of mine leading me astray from the moment. What the hell had made me waver, the hard part was over right? I might have to answer some difficult questions down the line but that was to be expected.

Please don't prove me wrong, L.

I just kept thinking those words over and over again like a prayer, as Roger cleared his face of emotion to speak.

"Near as been named as the Heir of the L title."

It was getting quite tiresome of always being let down by someone you loved.

I looked over at Mello. The color was gone from his face except for splotches of heated blood decorating his young cheeks. The blue of his eyes clouded over with hurt and anger, the sight broke my heart.

"He has two sons…" I trailed off, looking around the room.

If L never planned on having the two of them work together, then he should have left them in my care. None of this was fair and for the first time in my life, it felt like the torch I've always carried for the man had lost some of its glow.

"Screw it. Congrats Near, but I'm out."

Everyone watched as he went to the door, stop for a second as if to swallow his feelings down, and turned to face the room.

"I'll go after Kira myself, and I will be the one to bring him down!"

I'm no fortune teller but I could see how it would end if Mello jumped headfirst blindly. Even knowing very little about both of them, I could understand already that I'd never be able to force those puzzle pieces together.

Without much thinking, I pulled out of my jacket pocket a small white card with midnight black printing on the front.

"I've built up a good relationship with the FBI, and he is expecting a call soon."

I looked down at Near as he took the card between his pointer finger and thumb.

"I'm not picking him over you…" I tried to spit out, hoping he'll understand.

Hoping to God that I wasn't speaking to another emotionally locked supercomputer.

"I understand," It felt like Near had more to say, but nothing came out.