January 21st, 2019, 9 months since their break up:
Walter belched and groaned in discomfort as he sat at his computer desk. Of course he had heartburn before but what he had been experiencing the last two months was more like someone built a bonfire in their stomach, it was horrific. All the little meals he ate to maintain their nutrition really seemed to prolong each attack. He'd read so many articles on pregnancy but none of them seemed to truly relate just how uncomfortable it was. He'd thought all the talk about urination issues had been exaggerated but he found out first hand just how truthful and possibly downplayed they were.
He tried drawing on Paige's memory of being pregnant with Ralph but found that her memories didn't compare to what he was experiencing each time he was in control. He had a side project he worked on, he was beginning to believe that some process following birth must degrade the memories to help facilitate species propagation. Or that biologically, women, in general, have developed some process that made the development process leading up to birth not as bad compared to how he felt it. Because he knew if he had been a woman he'd never have another child after the first one.
The weight of the baby and embryonic fluid was bad enough on their body, but when the baby moved or kicked…It reminded him of the first time he watched his Mom make fresh bread. All that twisting and pulling of the dough.
It didn't help that when Paige was conscious but he was in control, she'd laugh and carry on over his complaints.
He'd thought he'd get revenge when she was in control but Paige, while annoyed and obviously aware of what was going on, didn't really seem as bothered by them. That really disappointed Walter.
"Hey, new record!" Toby grinned as Walter belched again.
"What?" Walter looked up at him.
"That was your forty fifth belch in the last sixty minutes." Toby grinned. "That's a record for you. And you still have eight minutes to go!"
Walter rolled his eyes as he grabbed the giant bottle of berry flavored Tums and took four of them. He was thankful Cabe had gotten the bigger bottles from Costco.
"I wish I had gone with Cabe to get Mom and Dad." Walter groaned while rubbing their belly.
Sylvester as always, when discussions of how Walter was doing came up, sat at his desk, half afraid and half entranced by Walter's condition.
"No sense in getting direct exposure to all those germs. Not to mention you have gone to the bathroom three times since he left." Toby grinned.
Walter shook his head as he turned back to his laptop.
Walter smiled and struggled to get up as the door of the Garage flew open and Louise moved quickly inside.
"Mother." Walter said warmly, still struggling to finish standing.
"Walter." Louise said fondly as she hurried across the floor towards him. The many video calls over the months helped to keep her in the mindset of Walter now inside of Paige's body.
Just as he got his feet firmly on the floor and standing up straight Louise was there and they embraced tightly.
"How have you and our daughter been?" Louise asked.
"We've been well, Mom." Walter smiled. "Though I have to admit, experiencing this pregnancy like this has been so challenging. I don't know how you women do this."
Louise laughed as she pulled back and kissed his cheek.
"Probably the worst part for me though is when I've been out of the Garage and random people kept trying to touch our belly." Walter complained even as Louise nodded with a smile.
"How have people reacted to Paige being alive?" Louise asked.
"That's been a bit difficult." Walter explained. "While Richard was able to buy Beauchamp's eradicator, we had to agree not to sue Beauchamp over what happened too."
"That isn't right." Louise frowned.
"Well there is a stipulation." Walter started. "If we can't be separated or either of us die trying to separate then we can sue."
Louise shook her head.
"How's Paige's friends handling it?" Sean asked after hearing their conversation.
"Father." Walter said as Sean finished walking across the floor towards them. "They were shocked to say the least. They call and stop by quite often. They are usually upset if I am in control."
"My boy." Sean grinned.
Walter went to hug him even as Sean reached out his hand to shake his. They both paused and looked a bit embarrassed before Sean reached out and pulled Walter in and hugged him briefly.
"Shame on them then, you are a good person and someone people should want to know. But, it looks like you're both doing fine." Sean said as he pulled back and looked down Paige's body.
Louise slipped up to Sean's side and he put his arm around her.
"Thank you." Walter blushed. "It has been a real adjustment to this experience, to say the least." Walter nodded. "I just wish this heartburn would go away."
Walter belched and carefully sat back into his chair before grabbing the Tums bottle and getting out several more of the pills.
"Aye, your Mom, she had a devil of a time with heartburn during the last trimester with you." Sean grinned as Walter chewed them.
"Have you found out what sex the baby is yet?" Louise asked.
Walter laughed and shook their head no.
"We wanted to wait and be surprised." Walter told them, watching as they both became disappointed. "While I am curious about it, I'm really kind of hoping Paige is in charge when that time comes."
Sean laughed and Louise slapped his arm.
"How are things going with figuring out how to separate you two?" Louise asked.
"Slow, but steadily." Walter explained. "Because of how often Paige is in control it is mostly her and Ralph that have been doing the heavy lifting for it. I do a lot of double checking of their work and between Sylvester and I we're designing the systems based on the math. We have three days a week where we are at Richard's working on everything."
"Will you be ready to separate after the birth?" Sean asked.
"No." Walter shook his head. "Maybe sometime after. But I wouldn't bet on anything before Summer, at the very earliest. If we feel it is safe enough to risk it, that is." Walter flinched and began rubbing their lower left ribs.
"The baby kicked?" Sean grinned.
"Felt more like a flying leap kick." Walter laughed. "Excuse me, I've got to get to the bathroom." Walter said as he struggled to stand.
Sean stepped up and gave him a hand to stand.
"Thanks." Walter smiled and then turned and began walking back to the back of the Garage.
"I'm so glad the judge accepted the blood test between Ralph and Walter as proof that he was Ralph's Father." Sean told the gang.
"Yes, it helped that when they ran Drew's DNA with Ralph's it came back as no chance of him being Ralph's Father. Drew was fit to be tied." Cabe told them. "It helped Walter had gotten a real bulldog of a lawyer."
Sean nodded.
Louise looked back at Toby.
"Are they really doing okay?" Louise asked.
"They are." Toby nodded. "I've kept a very close eye on them. It has been a challenge keeping a diet that supplies all they need for good health, but as you can see, they've put on a bit more weight than I'd like."
"Hey!" Happy slapped his arm. "They've only gained thirty six pounds, that isn't bad for this stage."
"Yes dear." Toby sighed as he nodded. "But it is at the higher end of average, I'd like them to be closer to twenty six pounds at this point."
Happy just glared.
Louise and Sean both laughed.
"As you can see, Happy's become a Mama bear over it. But I'm glad you both are here though. Walter's been a bit…of an ass, if you forgive the expression."
Louise and Sean both frowned.
"He won't let any of us help him." Sylvester told him.
Toby nodded.
"You can thank the O'Brien side of his family for that." Louise glared at Sean. "Biggest batch of "I can do its" that ever existed. Could be standing there with their arm dangling off their body and they'd be like, "I can drive to the doctor's." Louise shook her head.
Sean laughed as he nodded.
"Aye, we're a prideful bunch, that's for sure." Sean told them before he turned and grabbed the suitcases from where Cabe had set them and began going up the ramp to the Loft.
"So is the farm all transferred over now?" Cabe asked Louise.
Louise nodded.
"My nephew Grady O'Sullivan is taking it over and will carry the farm forward in the name of both families." Louise smiled. "And if some day in the future if a child of Walter or Ralph's wants to be a farmer, they will be co-owner with Grady and his kids."
"That sounds like a reasonable solution." Cabe nodded.
Paige's consciousness really seemed to dominate their time Louise noticed. While Paige reported that Walter was awake and would pass his messages to everyone, he was only in control once every four days. Toby had offered to try the hypnosis to bring him out more but Walter refused. He was adamant that their time was to be decided by who was conscious first.
While they had worked so much on their relationship through this connection, Walter still felt guilt over what happened to Paige. They'd been going to Dr Rizzuto over it all. And for some reason, the man was completely unfazed by their situation. He had a good time talking to whoever was the dominant one when their appointments came up. He did ask that whoever wasn't dominant during the appointment, for them to write down the answers to questions and about their feelings when they were.
Walter struggled mightily to keep his guilty feelings hidden. One day he had finally figured out how to keep those thoughts and feelings of guilt hidden from their merged consciousnesses and he kept that metaphorical door, leading to them, locked tightly. Only letting them out when he was sure Paige was unconscious.
Letting her have the lion's share of time was his way of apologizing for what he felt was his fault.
A week after Louise and Sean returned to be with Walter, Paige and Ralph, Louise came down the stairs.
"Walter?" Louise said.
Walter looked up and his eyes opened wide at the book she had in her hands.
"What are you doing with that?" Walter nearly yelled. That brought everyone's attention to him and they saw he looked white as a sheet.
"Walter?" Cabe said as he stood up and moved towards him.
"I was running the vacuum in your bedroom." Louise explained as she looked at the fear in his face. "When I bumped the nightstand this fell to the floor. What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything." Walter said as he grabbed the book from her. He shoved it into the center drawer of the desk and closed it.
"Hey 197." Toby said as he began walking over. "What's got you so spooked about that book?"
"Nothing." Walter told him flatly. "It's private, that's all." Tears began running down his face.
"Nothing?" Louise asked. "Walter, when I picked up the book, the page said that all of this is your fault. Why would you say that? How is this your fault?"
"I thought we dealt with this Walt…" Toby said. "None of this is your fault. It is our fault, including Paige."
"Just, leave me alone." Walter told them angrily.
"Hey." Toby said, sitting down next to Walter's desk. "I'm not about to leave you alone over this. We had a deal. Have you been hiding something from us? From Paige?"
"Just leave me alone." Walter's anger turned and he began weeping. "Damn mood swings." Walter said, grabbing the box of tissues.
"Look, if you want to sit somewhere else with me and talk, fine. But we're going to talk about this." Toby said with steel in his voice. "We have come so far together in the last eight months. I'm not willing to let this go off the rails again."
Walter tried his best to glare at Toby as he continued crying.
"Guys." Toby said and looked around. "Give us some space." He knew it was far easier to get everyone else to leave than to get Walter to go to another place and talk.
Cabe nodded as he gestured at Sylvester and Sylvester left with him to go to Kovelsky's restaurant. Louise slowly nodded. She laid her hand on their shoulder before going back up to the Loft. Happy continued to work in her area.
"What is going on Walt?" Toby asked softly but with an edge that told Walter he wasn't moving off the subject.
"Nothing." Walter said as he blew his nose and finished drying his tears.
"Then what is this book you are hiding?" Toby asked.
Walter sighed as he realized Toby wasn't giving up.
"Look, just like you guys can feel guilt over everything from time to time, so can I." Walter said, trying to get back to the design he was working on.
"Feeling some guilt over it is fine, but that isn't what your Mom said." Toby told him pointedly as he poked his finger into the desktop. "Why are you feeling like it is all your fault?"
"Because it is, no matter how many things in between led to that happening…" Walter swallowed hard. "I am still the one that chose to purposely lie to Paige." Their hand came up and poked into their chest. "I had the opportunity to come clean and tell her the truth and I didn't. I made her feel embarrassed. I made her feel like she wasn't worth the truth, when she knew I always said I only state facts. I did that, not you, not her, not Happy or Sylvester, I did that."
"And what about how Happy and I made you feel guilty?" Toby asked softly. "We made you think you had done something bad, really bad. You can't tell me that didn't have a factor in you not telling the full truth." Toby's fist thumped the desktop. "We've had a number of sessions over all of this now, not to mention your time with Rizzuto. I thought we had this covered. Have you been lying all this time?"
"I can't help what I think about in the hours when no one else is around." Walter said quietly. "So I write it down so it isn't in my head for when Paige is conscious with me."
"Damn it Walter." Toby swore as he stood and began pacing. "Fine, get up. We're going to see Dr. Rizzuto."
"What? No, how would we explain it?" Walter said.
"I don't care how you explain it. Either you promise me here and now, that you will sit down with me to talk about this whenever these thoughts come up or I'm telling Paige." Toby told him. "But you need to start telling her what is going on. That's a crucial part of your promise to each other."
"I know." Walter said before he carefully began to try and stand.
Toby moved around and gave him a hand getting up.
"I'm going to lay down." Walter told him.
"Fine." Toby said as he watched Walter get the book out of the desk and then move over and up the ramp to the Loft.
Paige woke up to the smell of lamb cooking. She smiled at that thought.
"Walter?" She said softly. She sighed as she didn't hear his thoughts back to her. She sat up on the side of the bed and saw the note on the nightstand. She smiled as she picked it up.
"I love you." Walter's words told her. "Since just after the start of our third trimester, I've been concealing something."
Paige frowned as her eyebrow rose up.
"I've been feeling guilty a lot lately, over what happened to you. I know we agreed that we all share in the responsibility of what happened. But in the quiet hours, by myself, I can't seem to get over the fact that as the first link in the chain of responsibility, if I had just been honest with you, we wouldn't be going through this. Anyway, in the nightstand is a small green notebook. Journaling has been my way of trying to deal with the thoughts. And if you want to, I want you to read it. But, just you. You and our children are the most important things to me." Paige smiled reading his words. "And just so you know, I didn't come to this decision on my own. The book was found by Mom and she confronted me. That got Toby involved and I could see why I should have told you this a long time ago. I hope you can forgive me. These emotions and hormones are murder."
Paige smiled before she kissed the note.
Greetings! I hope this finds you all well! Well, I've been having bad nights sleep wise and I figure with it being almost 3:30 in the morning, I would go ahead and post this now so I don't over sleep tomorrow if I get to sleep. As I explained previous, we've had several time jumps now. If it works out, chapter 24 should be the end of this story, for now...if not, chapter 25 should end it. Sunday the 4th of Feb we should be back in Callan! Forgive me for not replying to comments, my brain is a bit befuddled. lol I'll do my best to respond to last chapter and this chapter next chapter!
To the Adventure! -Tim