A/N: The characters are OOC, but who doesn't love a sappy moment between two of the most heartless boys every once in a while?
COMFORT
"Bryan"
The said falcon turned around at the other calling his name, his brow rising slightly in question.
Kai stepped forward, his face firm.
Seeing him coming near, the falcon turned his back on him, gazing out at the endless darkness of the night from the balcony.
A hand came up and rested on his shoulder.
"How long?" the other's voice was merely above a whisper.
"Hm?" his face scrunched in question.
"How long are you going to keep it to yourself?"
His eyes narrowed and he shrugged off the hand.
"The fuck you mean?"
Kai gripped his shoulder before turning him around forcefully, staring right into the dull stormy orbs.
"How long, are you going to act all tough and pretend you're made of stone and nothing bothers you?"
The falcon looked the other away.
"Nothing's bothering me," he muttered, before matching eyes again with the dual-haired.
"You think you can fool me?"
Bryan sighed exasperatedly before turning his back at him once again.
Kai stared at the other's back, his eyes holding on a foreign look. His hands clenched into fists as he tried to urge the annoyance away. Instead, his lips formed a thin line before he continued,
"You don't trust me, do you?"
His words felt thick and heavy in the painful silence of the room, the other tensing up at the meaning behind them, but stayed quiet.
"You don't trust me enough to see your scars, do you? You think I'm going to judge you, don't you? That it will show how weak, how breakable you are?"
Bryan supressed the urge to shout at the other, tell him to shut the fuck up, but somehow, the words felt true.
"You always act like the bigger person. Taking care of me like I'm some gaddamned child. And when I try to do the same, you shy away like I'm some stranger."
Kai stepped forward, his gaze still fixed on the other's back, before reaching a hand forward, stopping, a mere inches away from touching him.
"You act like there's nothing in this world that can hurt you, like some fucking invincible immortal that you clearly are not. You try so hard to prove that you're made of stone, that nothing can ever break through you.
All this time, you've been hiding everything that could show your weak side, your human side, your normal side.
Behind that mask, that you entertain the thought that I can't see through, but you're wrong."
Kai lowered his hand, stepping away from the other, staring at nothing in particular, trying to understand what evoked him to question the other like this.
But he was tired of all the pretence. He could clearly see that the other was struggling with something, but the falcon just kept shrugging it off. He couldn't take it anymore, couldn't bear to see someone so close to him suffer alone.
"I don't understand you Bryan. Why am I always faced with this wall of ignorance and doubt when I even try to do the same? Am I just not worthy enough of sharing whatever puzzles you enclosed in that mind of yours?"
Silence was the only answer, just as he knew it would be.
He sighed tiredly, he couldn't deal with this shit anymore. This wasn't working out anymore...
Maybe it wasn't supposed to be.
Who the hell had given permission to heartless bastards like them to commit to something so intimate and pure they didn't even know the meaning of?
And why was Bryan always like this? Sure, he understood, of course he would, that opening up to others wasn't their thing. Leaning on someone was something akin to sin in their world, help another word for being betrayed.
But they had escaped that world, hadn't they?
They didn't live under the eye of a stone cold monster who was hell bent on squeezing the life out of them anymore. They were free, weren't they?
Then why, did their mind keep locking itself in that same cage it had occupied years and years before? Longing so long to get out of.
He sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, looking over his shoulder to give the falcon another look, who looked like he had been statued.
"If you feel so disgusted at the idea of sharing your problems with me, of showing that side of yours to me, why the heck do you get so offended when I keep something from you?"
Bryan had stood tense and stiff the entire time Kai had rented out at him, his eyes looking for something hidden in the transparent air. The words just having more effect on burdening him down.
Was Kai really going to end it?
He closed his eyes tightly, the other's words booming again and again into his ears.
Kai scoffed bitterly at the silence. Lately, he had been getting so used to being ignored.
His eyes glared a hole into the carpet on the floor as his mind ran.
"This is it, Kuznetsov. If this is how it is going to be, then I'm not even going to pretend that I can go along with this play of yours anymore.
All you care about is your fucking ruthless self. It'd be so pitiful telling me what's bothering you. Going around with that fucking fake mask everywhere, fooling me all the fucking darn time."
His eyes blazed as the anger seemed to get heavy on his mind, picking up the lamp from the night table and hurling it in the falcon's direction, it missing the other's head a mere inch and smashing against the window, where it broke into a million pieces accompanied by the shower of crystal shrads.
He stood up and glared hatefully at the other, who still kept up his annoying silence, which riled him up even more.
"What the fuck is going on, Bryan?! Why can't you fucking trust me?! Why can't you just let go of that fucking attitude and tell me what's the fucking matter with you?! When can't you just fucking shove all your fucking cool facades aside and show me your real self?! How hard is it going to be, Bryan?! How long do I have to struggle to fucking get anything out of you anymore?!"
He panted as the shouting made his throat burn, his breathing becoming irregular, before he flopped down again on the bed, raking a hand through his hair.
"What did I do wrong, Bry? Why don't you..." his voice faded into a whisper as he let the silence wash over them.
He didn't want to admit it, but the other's silence was hurting him more than it should have. He kept feeling like a stranger the longer it continued on, and honestly, after having spent most of his life without even the slightest bit of love, this feeling was not at all welcomed.
But what could he do?
He felt drained both physically and mentally. As if, no matter how hard he tried, things kept turning out wrong, and he couldn't bother anymore.
Maybe he should've just stayed with the bladebreakers, left the idea of coming to live with the Blitzkriegs, none of this would have happened.
As the other kept rethinking his decisions, Bryan finally turned around, his eyes landing on the other sitting on the other edge of the bed, his head bent as if in sleep.
He hadn't intended to hurt the other in any way, what with him being already stressed over his grandfather's case and the recent happenings with the BEGA, along with that fact that he was the most sensitive one out of all of them, but Kai had taken it the wrong way, of course.
He slowly padded towards the bed, before shifting over to the other and almost hesitantly putting his arms around him.
The other was so caught up in his mind that he didn't notice him coming up behind him until the arms were encircling him.
His head jerked up and he looked behind at Bryan, raising a confused eyebrow.
Bryan tightened his grip on him, pulling him closer to him, before landing a peck on the his soft silver hair.
Kai sighed before leaning back, letting his head fall on the other's shoulder and looking into his eyes, searching for something once again.
"I'm sorry"
Kai turned in his embrace, in order to see his face properly, before speaking softly, "I know that it's not easy for you, Bry. But you don't have to worry. I won't think any less of you."
His fingers traced the pale face of the other, who now looked down, struggling with what to say.
"It's okay, Bry. You don't have to say anything, just..."
Kai shifted a little more before lying down, pulling the other along with him, facing him as the falcon's arms still kept his arms around his waist.
He raked his fingers almost too delicately through the falcon's greyish hair, smoothing it out.
Bryan stared fixedly at him for some time, as if trying to communicate through looks, before Kai nodded and pulled the other's head closer, kissing the rough lips that now seemed shy to be given this privelege.
"Everything's going to be fine..."
Bryan clenched his eyes shut, trying to escape the reality, the cruel memories. Kai felt him tense up, rubbing his back to comfort him. Bryan clutched his waist almost too tightly that it became painful, but Kai didn't mind, a soft, barely visible smile lining his lips as the falcon buried his face into his neck, his breathe hitting his bare collarbone.
He would die rather than admit it, but the soft scent of Kai's body felt so comforting, so soothening. The other was treating him like a baby, rubbing his back gently while raking his hand through his hair, and a part of him wanted to push him away and maintain his – as Kai had called it – ruthless attitude, but another, love deprived part, compelled him to stay.
It wasn't that he didn't trust Kai. He just didn't know how to tell him. Even now, a part of him couldn't shrug off the awkwardness of being taken care of, something so strange, so unfamiliar.
The other seemed to be reading his thoughts, and erased all his possibilities of prying way by holding onto him tightly, pulling the blanket over them with a little difficulty before settling down once again.
No words were said anymore, they didn't seem to be required, just the actions were enough to calm the other, whatever demons he was secretly fighting in his mind.
Kai looked down as he felt Bryan's breathing becoming slower and slower, shifting a little to get into a more comfortable position, but finding himself unable to do so because of the other's death grip on his waist.
He smiled a little with amusement, before putting a kiss on the other's hair, his own eyes sliding shut not long afterwards.
Sometimes, there was no need to use words to get burdens off one's mind, sometimes, what one really wanted was just a hug, a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder, a convincing smile, maybe that helped a lot more than one thought it did...
Thanks for reading!