UNITED NATIONS GLOBAL PROTECTION FOUNDATION
ANOMALOUS DESTRUCTION UNIT
MEMORANDUM
February 16, 2027
Forward From Director Liam O'Hanarahan of the ADU (Anomalous Destruction Unit)
Under the orders of Global Protection Foundation High command, this document has been compiled, simplified, and unsealed in order to provide transparency on the rise of Group of Interest 237, colloquially known as the "Church of Man". as well as the discovery of what the Foundation refers to as the "second world", a network of organizations, people, and entities which are consistent with mythological descriptions from various previously thought to be fallen religions, primarily polytheistic Hellenic, Egyptian, and Nordic religions, as well as possessing numerous Anomalous capabilities. The Church of Man, until relatively recently, has been reclusive, rarely appearing publicly or causing any major issues. Prior to Incident 05092025-5 , Global Protection Foundation knowledge of the church was limited, with the common belief by Division 3 of Foundation Intelligence being that it was a small fringe religious group. Incident 05092025-5 revealed the true threat the Church of Man poses to the Human species, and led to the revelation of the true nature of their existence, and thus I believe it is best we start by detailing Incident 05092025-5.
The events that preceded direct Foundation involvement in this incident are detailed by a series of journals and testimonies from those involved. Our information is limited by the fact that, due to the effects of Church integration, members of the Church of Man are incapable of breaking under interrogation, even with the use of enhanced interrogation techniques. We are thus reliant on recovered documents and the testimonies of allied Demigods.
Anyone reading this should keep in mind that the influence of the Church of Man can permeate even through online documents. Before continuing, it is advised to affirm belief in your god in order to avoid integration.
Glory to the Foundation.
End of Forward
The Next document is a section from the testimony of a Demigod Named Valerie De Luca. De Luca originates from Camp Half Blood on Long Island (previously operated under the cover of "Delphi Strawberry Service". As of recording on May 29, 2025, the Subject was 18 years of age. Hale stands at around 5'7, or 170 cm. De Luca is female, half human, half god, with the god being the Greek God Hermes. De Luca is of Hispanic Heritage, with dark hair, brown skin, and brown eyes.
Hi. Hey. Does this work? Thumbs up?
Ok. Thanks.
Guess I owe y'all an introduction. My name is Valerie. My friends call me Val. My mom is Lita De Luca, an ex-olympic runner from Texas. My Dad is Hermes. He's a deadbeat. Well, most Greek gods are deadbeats. Apparently they have rules against interference, which is bullshit. I almost died several times, and dad did…sorry. Need to focus. Back on topic. I'm a Greek demigod. I was brought to Camp Half Blood when I was 13.
Whatever. Not relevant.
This whole thing began with a retrieval mission. Whenever our Satyr protectors find demigods in the wild, they're generally able to get them to camp by themselves, especially since the monsters haven't been organized under any leaders until, well, now. Occasionally there are issues, generally monsters infiltrating the staff, and we go to wherever the kids are to make sure they don't die, and kill the monsters.
This little situation was different. The Demigod in question was older then most, 15, which is rare, as we usually get them younger. If we don't, they usually end up dead. Apparently she had seen directly through the mist, and immediately saw our protector, Fren Fermayster, as, y'know, a satyr, and was scared shitless. Fernmayster also reported a "strange scent" in the area (yes, it's as vague as it sounds, Fred did that sometimes). So, me and my friend Mateo Lanzo from the Apollo cabin were asked to go and retrieve the demigod.
We would've taken the flying chariot, but Carlos Guerrez and the rest of the Hephaestus cabin were trying to fix two bazookas to it, so we had to charter a van and drive all the way across New York, to this town in the middle of bumfuck, nowhere.
5 and a half hours later, we arrived at Keeseville High School. It looked like every other American High school, so boring as fuck, with red brick walls and square windows.
Mateo and I stepped out of the van, going into the back to grab our deadly weapons. Mateo grabbed his compound bow, which he had fixed a scope to. I'm more of a classic girl, so I grabbed my English broadsword, Barry (Yes, I named my sword) and strapped it to my side.
"A strange scent?" The hell does that mean?" I adjusted my scabbard, and grabbed a Greek fire vial.
"Monsters, probably." Mateo put a sonic arrow in his quiver. I hate those things. They leave your ears ringing like hell.
"No shit. But hasn't Fred been around long enough to recognize monster scents?"
"Relax. You're overthinking it. It's likely a laistrygonian or two. They smell horrible"
Mateo is very level headed. I've never seen the guy stressed about anything. He's just…cool. I like that. He's Spanish. From Spain, not Mexico. He likes to tell me he's the "original Spanish speaker". He's white, with brown hair that he likes to wear in a man bun.
Satyrs are supposed to carry walkie-talkies, so Mateo hailed Fred on his.
"Fred? Fred? We are here."
"Thank the gods!" Fred replied. "laistrygonians, I think! I lost track of the kid. Saw through the disguise. Did something with the mist."
I gave Mateo a side eye "did something with the mist?"
Mateo raises his radio as we begin approaching the double door entrance. "Uh, elaborate?"
"Called me a goat man. Threw a wall at me."
I sigh. Mateo gives me an incredulous look. "What does she look like? Where is she?"
"Auburn hair. Short. Very Jumpy. Female. I dunno where she is."
Fred had ONE JOB. Ugh.
As we reached the school entrance, I stopped Mateo. "Hold on. A wild demigod knows magic?"
"So what? She likely has just been manipulating the mist subconsciously or something."
"Don't they need training? You don't know shit about magic, Mateo."
"Do you, Val?" He raised an eyebrow.
He had a point. I stopped talking and we walked in.
The Woman at the front desk lifted her head from the show or something she was watching on her computer.
"Late. Go to the tardy desk in the commons."
I rolled my eyes. Mateo was a little nicer. "Yes ma'am."
We began walking down the hall. A janitor rounded the corner, with the big keychain they always carry clipped to his belt. I "accidentally" bumped into him.
"Watch where yer going, kid."
"Sorry!" I gave him a fake embarrassed smile. We continued on our way.
"Got it?" Mateo asked
I held up the keychain and smirked.
Mateo held up his walkie talkie "Any update on the kid's location?"
"I dunno. Somewhere. She ran off."
"Seriously? You have one job!" Mateo said.
"She chucked a wall at me! Ok, yea, yeah, it was an illusion. Still scary. She's all yours. Weird scents are still around. I smell Lastrygonian. Also something else. Unfamiliar."
We reached a fork in the hallway, with some sort of commons area. A desk stood at the corner, with a bored looking staff member manning it, likely the tardy guy.
"Guess we split up? I take left, you take right?" I said.
"Sure. Yell if you need help." Mateo made his way down the right hallway. We only had one radio. They came in pairs and Fred had the other one.
I started down the hall. As I passed one of the rooms, I heard a crash. I quickly made my way over to investigate.
"Stay there!" The voice was female.
"FOOLISH DEMIGOD! YOU THINK I AM ALONE?!" The other voice said. I had found our laistrygonian.
The door was locked, but I had stolen the key. So I unlocked it.
As I walked in, I saw a strange scene. On one end of the room was a short, auburn girl, with her hair tied up with some weird goth-looking…disc? On the other end was a very ugly specimen of a laistrygonian giant. It had a face only a mother could love, muscles, skin covered in boils, and was wearing a shirt that said, "KILL! KILL! KILL!, with a depiction of, well, you're better off not knowing. It was trapped behind a good 20 desks.
"GET OUT!" The girl screamed, turning towards me. "It's dangerous, it will…oh"
Her eyes drifted to my broadsword. "Who the FUCK are you?!"
"The Bitch that's trying to help you!" I retorted. "Listen, you're not-"
"Human. I know. Are you with the Satyr?" She looked tense, and was holding a notepad of some kind.
"Yes. Now, can we go before that thing frees itself?" I motioned toward the giant, who was beginning to free itself.
"Look, I don't know who you are, and If you're with…oh."
"Two for one lunch deal!" I heard a voice behind me say. I turned around to see another giant, about twice the size of the other one. His shirt said "JIM BOB, TARTARUS TOUR, 2024".
I sighed. This one was bigger. Tougher to kill.
JIM BOB ducked below the doorframe. "It's been too long since I've tasted demigods!" Which one first, oh, the choices!"
"Come here and try," I said, drawing my sword.
"I was hoping for stronger demigods! Where is Percy Jackson?" JIM BOB flexed his calloused muscles. Percy Jackson is some hotshot demigod who did a bunch of stuff years ago. Apparently he's married now, to a demigod named Annabeth. She's apparently a hotshot too. You should ask Mateo, he knows more about that kind of thing. "Oh well, you will have to suffice!"
The other one, behind the desks, said "EAT THE MAGIC ONE!"
I looked towards the girl. She was mumbling something under her breath.
I leveled my blade, prepared to send JIM BOB back to tartarus, when I heard a voice behind JIM BOB.
"Get out of my way." I saw a man in a suit behind the giant. He was dwarfed by it.
"Idiot Mortal!" JIM BOB lunged at the man.
The man grabbed JIM BOB, smashed him against the door with zero effort, then…tore his head off. JIM BOB disintegrated.
The girl let out a stifled scream, backing towards the back wall and the window there. "It's not…not human." she said, her voice trembling. The other giant yelled out in rage, struggling against the desks.
I backed towards the window. I doubted how useful my sword would be.
"MATEO!" I yelled. I turned towards the Girl. "Smash the window! I'll cover you!"
The man regarded me coldly. "Stand aside or die. I want the other one."
"Not happening." I raised my sword.
I heard the girl say something in Greek, then a loud BANG.
"RUN!" the girl yelled. The man stepped toward me. I jabbed forward with my sword. The blade embedded into his chest, going about a quarter inch before stopping. The man grabbed the blade with his bare hands and squeezed, snapping it in half and leaving me with just the hilt.
I swore, loudly.
I turned to run. The wall was gone, exposing the room to a courtyard, with a path leading to a door on the other side.
I felt the man lunge toward me. He grabbed the keychain, tearing a belt loop on my jeans with it as I ran. I had lost the keys.
The Girl and I made a run for the door on the other side. The man followed, calmly walking through the room and outside after us.
We sprinted across the courtyard.
"The door is locked." The man calmly walked after us. "Your magic is depleted, Harper."
The Girl, Harper, I assumed, tried the door. She looked exhausted. The man was right. I turned towards the man. He stopped in the center of the courtyard, looking directly at me. "And you. You are an unanticipated factor."
"What ARE you?" Harper said.
"I am a loyal servant of the one true God. I have associates that need to speak to you."
"What is it?" I hissed towards Harper.
"I don't know. It has horns, and red skin, or muscles..."
The man stepped forward. "Enough stalling." He looked at me. "Camper, you will die. Harper, you will come with me."
Suddenly the courtyard door behind us crashed open. Mateo and Fred stepped through, Mateo with his bow drawn and Fred wielding a golf club with nails attached.
Mateo let loose an arrow. The man caught it, then tossed it aside.
Fred let out an angry yell. He charged toward the man, Golf Club raised.
"NO" I yelled, but Mateo grabbed my arm and pulled me backwards.
We ran down the hallway. We had ended up in the commons area, not too far from the entrance. We ran for it. I heard Fred let out a scream, then heavy footsteps closing behind us. We rounded the corner, heading for the entrance. I turned my head. The man was closing. Fast.
Harper looked back at us. "I'm gonna stop it. I'm gonna pass out. Get ready."
Harper turned to face the man and chanted something in...Latin? I made out the word "Frost"
The floor the man was running on turned to ice. He slid, crashing into a trophy case. Harper collapsed. Me and Mateo grabbed her, dragging her outside as the man dug himself out of the pile of trophies. Mateo stopped and put a few arrows between the door handles. An improvised door bar. The van wasn't far.
We tossed Harper in the back and made for the doors. As we got in, I saw the Man crash through the front entrance like he was the Kool-Aid man. Mateo was driving, and I had shotgun. Literally, we had a Mossberg 500 in the passenger seat. Loaded with celestial bronze shells, of course. I grabbed it, rolling down the window. Mateo backed out of our spot as the man ran towards our van. I fired the shotgun. It kicked like a truck. The man stumbled backwards, holes appearing in his clothes.
Unfortunately for us, he soon regained his stance and continued running. Mateo drove us through the parking lot as the man gained surprisingly fast on our van. I racked the shotgun, chambering another shell.
I leaned out of the window and fired again, aiming lower as to hopefully trip him. The good news was that it worked, and he tripped. The bad news was that the recoil caused me to drop the shotgun on the pavement. I swore. Yes, I swear a lot. Sorry, not sorry.
Mateo pulled out of the parking lot onto the street. He sped up.
"Uh, I dropped the shotgun." I said, a bit sheepishly. It was his shotgun.
"Val, I saw that shot. He would've reached us. My shotgun's sacrifice will be remembered."
"And so will my sword's" I said, looking at the broken hilt in my lap. That sword had served me well since I got to Camp Half Blood 5 years ago.
"What was that thing? It caught my arrow"
"..And broke my sword. The girl, Harper, said it wasn't human. Something about horns and red skin. It knew her name. It called itself a servant of the "one true god"
"And she didn't know what it was? Or what it was referring too?"
"Nope. Either she was telling the truth, or she's a damn good liar." My dad is the god of Thieves. I can tell if someone is lying to me.
"Something's off about this demigod. Someone taught her that magic."
Mateo pulled onto I-87, heading south back to Long Island.
I leaned back in my seat. "Romans? Or maybe Circe?"
"We should look for a tattoo once she wakes up. Circe has been dead for years." Mateo looked at the dashboard. "Oh no. We need gas."
I leaned over. The van had about 30 miles worth of gas left. Whoever had used it last had forgotten to fill up the tank.
Mateo took one of the exits to look for a gas station. As we were heading down the ramp, I heard a bang on the back wall of the van behind me.
"Let me the FUCK out of here! Pull this car over! I'm rolling around like a pinball back here!" I heard Harper yell. She had awoken.
"Relax. You're safe." Mateo said. "We are pulling over at a gas station soon. We can talk there."
"So, where'd you learn that magic?" I asked.
"None of your business!" She sounded angry.
"It is our business. We saved your ass!" I retorted. Magic girl was starting to piss me off.
"You first! Are you from Camp Half Blood?"
I opened my mouth to say something rude, but Mateo spoke first. "Where did you learn about Camp Half Blood?"
"From my master. He told me you were all liars and self-serving pricks."
"That seems like quite a generalization. Who exactly is your master?"
"None of your business."
I had enough of that little shit. "You would be DEAD if we were not at that school. That thing would've gutted you like a fucking fish. So stop being a Bitch and tell us who the FUCK you are before we-" Mateo grabbed my shoulder, cutting me off.
"Val, relax. She's just a kid. She's scared. Take a moment, and let me do the talking." We pulled into a 7-11. "Val, fill up the tank. "
I decided to listen to Mateo. He was right. I had let my anger and stress take over.
"Harper, is it? We just want to help you. We came to bring you to a safe place."
Harper stepped out of the back of the van. She looked exhausted. "I'm not coming with you. I heard about your camp. I heard what you did to my kin."
"Your kin? Our goal is to keep demigods safe. I don't understand." Mateo sounded genuinely hurt.
"I heard about the war. I heard how the dogs of Olympus slaughtered children of the minor gods like they were cockroaches!"
"The...titan war? That was sixteen years ago. Before our time. I was two years old."
I finished filling up the tank, putting up the gas pump and paying with an old Lotus Hotel and Casino Card. We got a lot of those after we raided the place back in '22 (I lost a good 2 months for that).
"Don't lie to me!" The girl said.
I walked around to see the scene. Harper was sitting on the floor of the van. I looked at her arm. No SPQR tattoo. Mateo stood right in front of her, his quiver still slung around his back.
"This is a waste of time." I said "That thing-if we stick around and argue about shit that happened years ago, it'll find us."
"I-You're right. I'll tell you a little bit. My name is Harper Tsai. My mother is the goddess Hecate. My father...well, he's gone. My master has trained me for two years now. He-he doesn't have a high opinion of your camp."
I figured I should go in the back and retrieve a spare weapon. I also felt slightly guilty for snapping at her. "Harper, you can have shotgun. I'll stay in the back."
"No. I'll stay in the back."
I hopped in the back, with Harper right behind me. I grabbed a Kopis off one of the racks. Not my preferred kind of weapon, too wide, not enough stabbing power, but it would suffice.
I turned around to see Harper writing something on her arms with a marker. "Uh, what are you doing?"
"Protective runes. It should keep that thing away, or any other monsters." As she finished drawing a rune, it glowed green. She took a sip of Nectar, and the dark marks under her eyes began to alleviate. She continued drawing runes on her arms, just below the sleeves of her shirt.
Mateo started up the engine. The van rolled out of the parking lot.
Note from Dr. Bowers:
Later investigation of Keeseville High School revealed damage consistent with the above testimony. A portion of the floor was iced, the front door was destroyed, a portion of the wall in a classroom was missing and a Mossberg 500 shotgun with 7 shells consisting of a previously unknown isotope of bronze were discovered by agents of the Global Protection Foundation. The corpse of Keeseville High School Principal (Censored, at request of his family) was discovered, with the skin having been melted in an unknown process, in his office. Security footage showed (DATA EXPUNGED). The Man described by De Luca is consistent with descriptions of Principal (Censored).