~ Thank you, Fran. ~

Selfish

Love could be such a selfish act. Keeping someone for yourself, because you can't be without them.

How many chances had I had to get her out of this world of monsters?

I'd lost count.

I turned the handle and stepped into the dimly lit room.

The click of the door closing behind me. The beeping of the machines, humming and tapping. Her heart beating. Blood pulsing through her veins. An orchestra of sounds that would play in my head over and over again, until the end of time.

Like the moment I first saw her, spoke to her, kissed her, or made love to her, this moment too would be forever etched into my soul.

But it wouldn't be remembered fondly.

It would creep into the night to find me and torment me. To remind me just how selfish love could be.

Even now I couldn't imagine sending her away.

I stepped toward her taking in the sight of her lying still, undisturbed by the wounds that littered her her body.

They were hidden behind dressings and bandages, but I knew that they were bad.

I hadn't needed to be told how many stitches were used or how much blood she had lost, I could feel it in my gut when I looked at her. Carved down and drained.

I took her small hand in mine. My eye's trailing over her, my beautiful Bella.

For all the times I thought my heart had broken, something else would happen to prove to me wrong. Showing me that I hadn't truly understood the depths of those words. Those moments had been splinters in comparison to this.

Though I would never again tempt fate to prove me wrong.

But I had to wonder, how much longer would I have to live to feel an ache greater than this.

I kissed the side of her cheek. I kissed her dozens of times, over the side of her face that wasn't covered in dressing.

Whispering my broken and useless apologies, promises and vows. Pointless.

I couldn't think about what had put her in this bed. If I thought about his claws ripping through her flesh and the pain and fear she must have felt, I wouldn't be here.

No, I'd be killing him.

I'd rip him apart with my bare hands.

My chest tightened.

He lost control.

How could they even utter the words. As though this was some kind of unexpected mistake. As though it was a simple lapse.

They hid Jacob behind those words, the same words that Sam had used as a shield for his own acts.

For the first time I could see it. How incredibly reckless and stupid they were.

They shouldn't be around humans.

Do they not think I struggled with control every day?

I struggled every minute. But I did it.

For all the pain I had caused her, I never laid an unwanted hand on her.

And if I had? I wouldn't hide behind what I am, as though it were some kind of excuse. I would own it, burn it into my skin so that everyone could see what I truly am.

But Sam and Jacob wore nothing. They'd walked down the streets, and no one would know what they'd done.

That branding was Emily's and Bella's to wear. That burden was for them to carry.

Love could be such a selfish act.

The sun was only beginning to rise. Though soon after it left the horizon, it would be lost behind the thick clouds that covered Forks.

Bella loved the sun.

For a short while, I locked the door, opened the blinds and let the light wash over her. Bathing her in its warmth. Before the room fell back into darkness.

Soon after I unlocked the door again, I could hear Carlisle making his down the hallway.

He came in quietly and I remained unmoving, holding her hand in mine, just as I had been all night.

"Renee?" I questioned.

"Still nothing. But we'll find her." He told me regretfully.

Renee and Phil had been travelling across country in an RV.

Phil didn't have a cell and Renee in true form, had broken hers while hiking.

They checked in with Bella every chance they got. But there was no way of knowing when that would be.

"And the rest of it, Carlisle?" I asked coldly.

He didn't need to tell me he'd been to see Sam. I could smell it on him.

"They want to know what we plan to do." He explained carefully, concerned by what my reaction might be.

I laughed dryly and shook my head. "I imagine they do" I growled under my breath.

More selfishness, I thought.

"I wont feed her a story to save him."

Carlisle nodded, knowing the anger in my tone wasn't intended for him.

"I told him as much." He assured me.

"She made no promises to them. She owes them nothing." I added, looking down at her soft hand in mine. Grazing my thumb over her palm.

Staring at the splatters of dried blood on her wrist.

A part of me wished for her to wake up and turn everything upside down on us all.

For her to start a war, to reveal all of those deep and dark rooted secrets.

But I knew Bella.

She didn't lead with anger.

So, what would happen?

Nothing?

Would he go though life without punishment? Walk through the world unscathed, until this was nothing but a memory, just something he'd done once.

I couldn't bare it.

"What do you plan to do Edward?" Carlisle questioned; his eyes fixed on me. Urgent and fearful.

What could I do? What was I capable of? He knew exactly what I was.

I looked up at him and shook my head. Wishing I could lie to relieve his stress and calm his nerves.

But I was far to tired.

"I don't know." I confessed as though I had already committed the crime.