[Chapter 49 Reviews]
To LoamyCoffee, happy you liked the double-update. When it comes to Shizuru's "metamorphosis", I'm not sure what about the manga would make one think "Digimon", but she's definitely wanted to come out of her shell. In this case, Takei is just an added motivator since he too could "see her". As for the "Redshirts", that joke being brought up in Star Trek: Lower Decks made me chuckle, and it was fun adding it in.
To Theboblinator, I feel like Sorahiko would be a bit like Master Roshi in his downtime, and while part of his motivation for looking after Takei is as a potential successor for [One for All], another is that he gets to vicariously be a grandparent through the hard-working Lombax-like boy.
When it came to padding out the content of that chapter of Nurse Hitomi's Monster Infirmary, I just felt like where Yomi was concerned, and Kuromi by extension, that Thriller would be a good fit. Takei, being a Reincarnator from the 20th Century (circa 1991), would naturally leverage that knowledge to effect. As for Shizuru's lack of self-awareness in that moment, it can be a little bit excused since she's been "Transparent" for a long time, and was a little self-absorbed when people were able to see her "at all". Certainly more fun to write for than Toru's Quirk "glitching out" in response to lasers.
Speaking of Toru, while admittedly I thought about having it be a "familiar with the situation" kinda deal, when I really stopped to think about it, having two Invisible Girls pining over the same boy felt a little derivative, and a bit lazy. That Shizuru still gets to wear clothes while being Invisible was just icing on the cake, since I imagine Toru would be utterly miserable in the winter months.
To Raidentensho, while a Double Dragons cameo sounds interesting, and I have some idea about the Story (never played the Games), I feel like if they were part of this world's Lore in the same way Tiger & Bunny is (because I mean come on, how could that not be a "Prequel" to MHA with their Corporate-Sponsored Professional Heroes?), stuff like this would've occurred in the early days of "Paranormality", back before Vigilantes got assimilated into the legal framework of "Professional Heroes".
Not to say that stuff like this wouldn't happen outside of Japan in the current era; and the Heroes/Cops would have to be really shitty at their jobs to not only ignore a Kidnapping, but also to ignore the Mass Ass-Kickings aforementioned Kidnapping would've provoked. If anything, the "Buddy Vigilante" genre might've replaced the "Buddy Cop" genre in Hollywood; reason I don't include "Buddy Heroes" in the listing of potential in-world movie genres is because with Tiger & Bunny folded up into the world's Lore, the "Buddy Heroes" idea was a corporate framework up until the Corporate Hero gave way to the Commercial Hero.
But I digress.
[Chapter 50 Reviews]
To LoamyCoffe, while I did go a little dark at the start, it was also a bit of a low-brow statement piece about how Anime Perverts are treated in My Hero Academia. Also, given the last time I tried to write something high-brow and people threw a fit about it because it was "too high-brow"…
And yes, that bit of dialogue about him saving her from them "even in her dreams" was inspired by Goblin Slayer, which I have in LN format. If you love GRATUITOUS VIOLENCE, I personally recommend it in Anime/Manga/Light Novel formats.
As for the Yuyu Hakusho references to his [Reiki], functionally, Takei did go through something similar to Yusuke, only Takei was "closer" to the afterlife than Yusuke who hung around "the Living World" like a literal ghost. And while Nurse Hitomi's Monster Infirmary played the whole "Yomotsu Hirasaka" angle up for laughs, that My Hero Academia has "Vestiges" and some aspect of an Afterlife in the soft-lore, it felt too good to pass up elaborating the relationship between [Spirit Energy] and the world of Quirks. No reason Awakening can't have anything to do with some sort of Spiritual awakening as well. If pure physical (and/or emotional) duress was enough to trigger an Awakening, All for One would've farmed that shit like it were Harvest Moon; sorta like how Neo in Toriko would induce the "absolute pinnacle of fear" in his prey before eating them when all hope was lost, because the brain chemistry made them more-delicious to the Appetite Demon.
Tatsuzawa being a literal Fairy/Dragon-Type was also too good to pass up, since it's perfectly canonical to Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid, and how-well that joke works in relation to Pokémon.
To BryanV2, originally I was going to go with a "Henshin Belt", like out of Kamen Rider, but I just liked the look of the Dino Morpher much better. It also helped that there was a Super Sentai joke in Dino Thunder where there was a Japanese TV show of their adventures showing with talking Morphers. I don't know if that was actual footage taken from Super Sentai and shown in Power Rangers, but that bit really stuck with me, and him having a "Leviathan Morpher" seemed like a better fit; especially with how "OP" dragons in Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid can be when they put their minds to… anything really.
To Theboblinator, Takei just feels like most Heroes in that over-saturated market are about as Lame as the C-Rankers from One-Punch Man; this mindset is also colored by the snippet from Gigantomachi's rampage in the anime where that one guy has a complete meltdown and just quits in the middle of a disaster area! You know the one I'm talking about, the guy with the stupid hat that Ochako watches quit.
As for what happened to Shizuru, that's just a part of the writing process that took on a life of its own. Takei personally has a low tolerance threshold for perverts, doubly-so when they "act" on those urges toward non-consenting parties; emphasis on "non-consenting". The boy in his class with [Resize] he beaned with a rolled-up workbook because there was no other way to "spin" what he was doing with his Quirk while walking under the girls' desks (that's Canon by the way), and Takei more or less "scared him straight". As for the Third-Years, I feel like Shizuru would be "targeted" once people actually knew what she looked like; part of the whole "girls mature faster" bit.
Yeah, that "Jelly-Filled Donut" joke really stuck with me, even after all these years/decades. Seriously, if you aren't going to edit in a Donut, just call it a "Rice Ball". I really hope no-one was stupid-enough to think that the first Onigiri they ever saw IRL was a "Jelly-Filled Donut".
Takei's relationship with his own status as an "Isekai Protagonist" is a bit of a running gag for his self-reflection in this "Isekai Deconstruction" sorta story. Not sure if I'll bring up any native aliens, but I know if something like Unicron shows up through a big-ass Rift, that planet's going to be really fucking screwed.
As for the "Lagiacrus Trident", it's basically a trident made out of Lagiacrus parts in the vein of Monster Hunter; nothing too crazy about that. That Elma didn't waste all of the skin and bones like the in-game mechanic, just gave me more reason to have all the weapons made. And yeah, she's projecting her maternal instincts onto him, wanting him to wield a trident like his "Dragon Mama" XD
The Viking Stranger: This is fluffy and sickening. And i love it with all my black cynical heart. Take this compliment you mfing bstrd.
Re: Compliment received~
To Pathfinder097, the Lagiacrus Armor (from Monster Hunter) is called "Leviathan Armor" because phonetically it rolls off the tongue better, and the Lagiacrus is part of the "Leviathan" Monster Class; same way the Deviljho is part of the "Brute Wyvern" Monster Class, and the Rathalos is part of the "Flying Wyvern" Monster Class.
To ForeverTruthful95, yes, he'll definitely need the Staying Power come Canon, but this Power Crawl is also a part of the "Isekai Deconstruction" I'm kinda-sorta going for. In all likelihood he'll be "over-powered", but there'll be plenty of Quirks in Canon or that I can make up that'd give him a hard time. And don't forget, he isn't the sort to cause needless collateral like what Mt. Lady is worried about, and what Bakugou might not be. The only times he'll go full-bore to the point of Izuku-level self-destruction is when shit gets really, really, really bad.
And let's not forget that the Multivers is a scary, fucking, place. The bad guys are gonna have a slice of that pie too.
*Cough* Always open to suggestions, btw *Cough*
To oneoddtodd, always happy to hear when someone Binges my works~ Makes me feel warm and fuzzy~
Especially because it basically countermands what my Flamers say whenever they quit partway through. And a trend I notice with Flamers is that usually, they don't have any works of their own for me to bitch at in-turn, and if they do, it usually sucks as much as they think mine does.
But again, I digress.
*AHA*
Escorting Shizuru on Monday wasn't just me; Itsuka, Nobuko, and Kaneko were also in attendance. And the added support definitely did the girl some good, because compared to when it was just me, there were far less people leering at her. And after word got around about my little "episode", none of the higher-years even looked in her direction.
Of course, that didn't stop the death grip the formerly Transparent Girl had on my hand, though I was more than up to the task of returning the gesture. And not just because I had Reiki coursing through my veins and Dragon Soup in my stomach.
"So what'd you get up to this weekend?"
"A little camping. Did some Takigyo to cool my head after… Friday…" I returned.
"Takigyou? Really?" Kaneko blinked, his ears flattening at the thought.
"Honestly, getting under it's the worst part. It actually got easier as I got used to it," I replied.
"And it really helped?" Itsuka asked.
"Just a bit. What about you? That'd you get up to?"
"The girls and I hung out with Shizuru. I taught her a little hand-to-hand," she replied, raising her fist at a third-year who got caught leering at Shizuru's wetsuit-clad body.
"I just… I don't want to be scared anymore," Shizuru hummed as she leaned into me.
"Nothing wrong with that," I replied. "What those four did… It was unforgivable."
"Well, I heard three of them got suspended, but the fourth probably won't show his face for a while either," Nobuko hummed.
"Does an abalone even have a face?" Kaneko blinked, only for Nobuko to elbow him in the ribs.
"Honestly, how people think having Quirks like that makes them better than being Quirkless…" I sigh tiredly as we approach the school gates.
*AHA*
"Hey Takei! Check out this news bulletin!" Tetsutetsu grinned after homeroom as he held out his phone.
"Huh. Didn't know you cared about international news."
"Eh, content over continent," Tetsutetsu shrugged as I got a good look at the picture.
On it was shaky camera phone footage of a massive black-scaled wyvern riddled with bronze-colored spikes, breathing fire and burning buildings down somewhere innnn… Europe(?) with huge leathery wings keeping it aloft as the spines on its tail sent a "flying brick" sort of Hero pinwheeling with a ruined costume.
"HAH! Finally someone's gonna die to one of these things and it's not me," I grinned as the shaky camera footage was replaced with drone imagery of a Hungarian Horntail running rampant.
*AHA*
*SKREOOOOOONK!*
"DAMN YOU TORIYAMAAAAAA!" Takehiko Tokei cried furiously as he ran from a Paozusaurus, one that had breached containment in another town and had been terrorizing the countryside until "something", i.e. him, drew its attention and baited it into Asaka-shi.
Gible, sensing the plight of his partner, burst from his Dive Ball and lunged at the Paozusaurus, biting onto the cartilage around one nostril, only for the thing to whip its head, flinging the Land Shark through a storefront window.
What was worse, because Son Gohan hadn't made this specimen his protein source, it didn't fear humans. "Unwhipped" as it were, it was an apex predator, and because it was a living creature, a dinosaur of all things, most Pro Heroes were hesitant to do them any harm lest they look bad in front of animal rights activists; them or members of a future fanbase.
This, of course, was where the STMO's Taskforces came in. Armed with top-of-the-line hovercraft, granting them a superior mobility usually reserved for each country's top Heroes, when they weren't harvesting resources from inside the Rifts, they were fighting whatever crawled out that the RDA wasn't equipped to contain.
Locally, that meant Strega was involved.
Cue Sound:Side Vol.1 OST – Bubble Drive
"INCOMING!" Ingrid whooped eagerly as she flew in astride a broom, scythe in her free hand.
With knees practically scraping the ground, Strega's battle junkie zig-zagged before juking up behind the Paozusaurus' leg, slicing the tendon mid-stride and dropping it onto its side with a *THOOM!*, triggering half the car alarms on the block.
A moment later, Evelyn swooped in on a broom of her own, colored vials of potion levitating around her hand before she pulled a stopper and flicked her finger, the un-stoppered vial shooting through the air before landing in the Paozusaurus' nostril.
The thing's eyes going wide, with a shake of its head it sent an empty vial flying from its nostril, but this was enough of a distraction for Laura to swoop in on a broom of her own, decorated casket trailing behind her before the lid came open and a massive clawed hand of impure magic lashed out, striking the Paozusaurus atop the head and setting off the other car alarms.
END OST
"Whoo! Makin' bank!" Ingrid whooped.
"Wage garnishment upfront," Laura chimed in.
"Aauuuugh! You always say that!"
"Because it's always going to be true until you pay me back."
"Citizen! Are you okay?" 'Yuna Springfield' made a show of asking as she came down atop her magic staff.
"I think I need to change my pants," Takei answered laconically.
"They have a Spell for that!" Ingrid grinned.
"They also have a phone app for that," Laura deadpanned.
No, seriously, they did. It was called Smarty Pants; "For all your pants-related emergencies."
Because sometimes after a Villain attack, it's just more-convenient to have someone bring you a change of pants than it is to go home, change, and then double-back to whatever you were doing before needing aforementioned pants-changing.
"Here, cutie. Have a drink, relax, you'll be fine," Evelyn hummed holding out a magic potion.
"Evelyn! Don't give this complete stranger magic potions!" 'Yuna' chastised.
"That thing didn't touch me, so can I skip decontamination?" Takei asked as Gible waddled up to him and tugged on his pant leg, women's lingerie stuck on his horns and dinosaur blood on his teeth.
"Takehiko Tokei. Taskforce Strega. Please prepare for decontamination," an RDA agent announced as their own vehicle approached.
"I'll take that as a 'no'," 'Yuna' hummed awkwardly.
*AHA*
Of course, not all C.O.s are as unpalatable as a giant brown muscular dinosaur.
The Shabu-Shabu from Nishi Osamu's Mairimashita! Iruma-kun for example, was one such entity that looked quite palatable. And why, you may ask?
Because it looked like a living hodgepodge of ingredients; the head of a shark, a mustache made of kombu, neck frills made out of onions and Chinese cabbage leaves, tomato and carrot legs with pig's feet, a decorative ham hindleg and a regular pork hindleg, banana scales, and a shark's dorsal fin.
With all these sources of omega-3s and riboflavin, lycopene and beta carotene, collagen, dietary fiber, and must-haves for hotpot, embodied in meat, fish, vegetables, fruit, and stock, this "ultimate ingredient" looked closer to something out of Shimabukuro Mitsutoshi's Toriko than from out of a School Life manga about demons.
"Even though I despise fish, I feel myself getting hungry~" the Lion Hero: Shishido salivated at the sight of the thing.
"Umu. On that we can agree," the Killer Whale Hero: Gang Orca and official/unofficial rival to Shishido concurred.
"Then there's only one thing to say!" Shishido roared as he and Gang Orca clapped their hands together.
"ITADAKIMASU!"
The two "Villainous Heroes'" battle against the Shabu-Shabu would be legendary.
As would the amount of time they spent on the toilet afterward.
Thus was another cautionary tale The Administration would spread to stop people from eating food-like stuff from the Counterside.
*AHA*
Elsewhile at Yuuei…
"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT BUDGETARY CONSTRAINTS?!" the Excavation Hero: Power Loader shouted at his third-year students as an enormous yellow and white-striped war machine far bigger than the school's "3-Pointers" laid waste to Training Ground Beta.
"Th-That isn't one of ours!" the spokesperson for a group of third-years hiding behind their own creation cried out.
"If it isn't one of yours, how the hell did it get onto campus with no-one noticing?!" Power Loader cried before his earpiece chimed. "WHAT?! . . . YEAH, NO SHIT A RIFT OPENED!" he yelled pointing a claw at the thing. "Good news, you're all off the hook."
"And the bad news?" a young woman in a hard hat asked mid-cower.
"Extra credit: Whose robot can last the longest while I make a trap for this thing?"
"Goodbye, Mortar-kun. I knew you well…" a different young woman sniffled as she sobbed into the side of her own battle-ready robot, unimaginiatively-named because of the mortar mountings on its flanks.
"A part of me wonders what the heck our principal is doing at a time like this, while the other just wonders how-much extra-credit he can get out of this scenario," another student muttered to himself as he did some last-minute calibrations on a vaguely dinosaur-shaped robot.
Because of course someone in the Support Course was going to make a dinosaur-shaped robot.
*AHA*
Nezu, no surname by-choice, became known as the Educated Hero: Mr. Principal once he got his Hero License, following the acquisition of several PhDs in education and human psychology.
On the other hand, to those he murdered and/or maimed after breaking containment prior to getting his Japanese citizenship and GED, and also to those in the criminal underworld henceforth who became his prey, he was known as the alias "Murder Mouse".
Most would think that being the principal of a school would be a "conflict of interest" since he literally HATES HUMANS(!), but honestly, that didn't make him any different from the majority of school staff.
Not all that hard to believe, honestly...
As was the case with most Heteromorphs in possession of Mutant-Type Quirks, his "sixth sense" was far superior to those whose Quirks leaned more to the "Normie" side of things. In essence, whenever he felt like something was "off", it was usually more than the figment of an over-active imagination and/or paranoia and/or boredom (and/or Chuunibyou tendencies).
To that end, both he and Inui Ryo had ventured out into the woods surrounding Yuuei's campus in pursuit of what was raising both their hackles. Since this outing was more or less free labor without guarantee of hazard pay, or just "pay" since everything a Pro Hero did was hazardous by-definition, they forewent their usual Costumes. Ryu wore a plaid-patterned button-up and worn blue jeans, while Nezu looked like he was on safari since, due to a factory error, the collection of ensembles had been on sale at a major price-slash.
"You smell that too?" Nezu asked.
"Yeah. Smells… fake."
"Okay good, so I'm not the only one thinking 'clone'," Nezu hummed before whirling around and firing his paintball gun, the fluorescently-colored rounds spattering against something in mid-air before the 'mid-air' moved in agitation.
The color of foliage giving way to mottled white-and-gray reptilian skin, the two Pros looked up to behold a massive saurian shape, not really conforming to a single species. The theropod looked like a Tyrannosaurus Rex, but only in a "tilt your head and squint" kinda way; apart from that, its DNA looked like a sock drawer of Velociraptor, Carnotaurus, Majungasaurus, Rugops, Pycnonemosaurus, Quilmesaurus, Viavenator, Therizinosaurus, Deinosuchus, and who-knew what else.
"Clever girl… NOT~! HAAAA HA HA HA HAAAH!" Nezu cackled as he whipped out a military-grade Target Locator from his bag and 'painted' the mutated theropod with a green designating laser, momentarily blinding it.
The thing's hackles raising at Nezu's tone, Ryo picked his check-signer up by the scuff of his bag and threw him atop his back before bolting away on all fours, the mutant theropod giving chase.
Several seconds of thunderous footfalls later, the thing was bombarded by small-scale precision rocket-powered artillery, courtesy of Yuuei's point defense system.
"Hah! And the PTA said that small-scale precision rocket artillery support mountings were a waste of money~" Nezu chuckled. "SHOWED THEM~!"
"Er, Nezu…" Ryo said as multiple smaller theropods of the more-genetically singular variety emerged from the underbrush.
"Oh, please, don't mind me. Flee in terror," Nezu hummed in his encouraging 'teacher voice', feeling remarkably more-threatened by the colorful Utahraptors than whatever the steaming corpse he'd blown into an abstract art piece used to be.
*AHA*
Sasaki Mirai, otherwise known by the Alias of "Sir Nighteye", forewent the usual addition of a prefacing "Title" so as to obscure the inner workings of his Quirk, [Foresight], as much as possible.
That being the case, while his Quirk granted him a seemingly infallible ability to predict all of a target's future moves and actions for a full hour, what he gleaned from this ability sadly became blurry when it came to interactions involving "Counterside Radiation", similar to when he tried to exceed the "one-hour-after-contact" limitation and instead sought out "specifics" years in advance.
And why, pray tell, was that such a bad thing?
Because at the moment they were being chased by a giant centipede from Konohagakure no Sato's 44th Training Ground from Kishimoto Masashi's Naruto, circa October 3, 2002.
"CENTIPEDER! TELL THAT THING TO STOP CHASING US!" Awata Kaoruko, aka Bubble Girl, squealed as the sum of the Sir Nighteye hero office ran for their lives after responding to a 'cryptid sighting'.
Since most "cryptid sightings" turned out to be Heteromorphs drunkenly streaking, it wasn't completely implausible the call to have been "just another field call".
"OH WHAT?! BECAUSE I'M A CENTIPEDE MAN I UNDERSTAND WHAT ALL CENTIPEDES ARE SAYING!?" Moashi Juzo raged at her. "YOU BITCH!"
"I didn't use my Quirk on either of them and yet I still saw this coming…" Sir Nighteye sighed as he ran, putting in the effort to be faster than at least one of them at any given time.
*AHA*
Cue Benny Hill Theme
Of course, it wasn't only Takehiko who found himself being chased by horrifying monsters from other worlds. He was just one of the few they made a dedicated effort to transform into their next meal.
In what could be considered a real-life "Fail Montage Video", a forest of Cactuar from the Final Fantasy franchise had started sprinting through the streets of Tokyo, frightening pedestrians and terrifying motorists in neighboring towns after slipping the net.
The swiftest of Japan's Heroes were sent in to apprehend them, even All Might made an appearance, but the situation was just so-ridiculous that when all the footage was compiled later to make a series of hammy montage videos, the person who made the most-popular compilation video couldn't help but use the song Yakety Sax, jointly composed by James Q. "Spider" Rich and Boots Randolph circa 1963.
That the video was posted "anonymously", but premiered first on the Mon Squad's own website, left only a very small list of potential creators…
But that, is a story for another day~
"How the hell are these cacti faster than me?!" the Wing Hero: Hawks cried out exasperatedly as the vaguely humanoid succulent once more bolted out of his reach.
"CAAACTUUUUUS!" Endeavor howled furiously, a myriad of needles protruding from his buttocks where another had flanked him.
"Does that cactus have a mustache?!" the Rabbit Hero: Mirko gawped incredulously as the running-pose shadow loomed over them.
"RUN AWAYYYYYYYY!" the Shield Hero: Crust, screamed at the top of his lungs as the thing pinwheeled its arms, the 'tell' that it was about to launch its 'Ultimate Technique' where it fired 1,000 needles.
With the smaller Cactuar, it just looked like a needle truck tipped over, but with the Gigantuar preparing to fire a second volley, there would be even more spear-sized spikes littering the ground than there were already.
It was only thanks to the fact that the RDA had predicted when the Rift these things came through was about to open well in advance, as well as the "where" down to the meter, that the only collateral was to material goods and Heroes.
Well, that and whatever civilians refused to leave because they wanted to get "Hero v Villain" footage for FaceBook…
And it was pretty telling about the industry that whenever a Hero "failed" to save someone and the family sued, that the first thing investigators checked was what sort of footage the recently-deceased used to get popular on social media.
"DETROIT SMASH!" All Might shouted as he swung down, the resultant tornado arresting the needles' momentum.
The "Gigantuar" about to make a run for it now that its attack had failed, bridge cables suddenly shot out around the nearby buildings and bound its body in place before lifting it from the ground, wrenching away almost all of its leverage. Even just "nuking" a social media sight was damning in of itself if that much could be proven; which it usually could.
"Hngh!" the Fiber Hero: Best Jeanist grunted as he held the giant plantiform from the ground long enough for the industrial-grade winches flown in to reel in the slack. "And they said… keeping caches of bridge cables… in all the major population centers… was a waste of money!"
"I doubt they'll be saying that now," the Ninja Hero: Edgeshot grunted as he wrung succulent juice out of himself, his usual sure-kill Thousand Sheet Pierce utterly useless against these things.
"Glutes… burning… Thighs… cramping!" the Turbo Hero: Ingenium panted out as his [Engine]s sputtered to a stop nearby, having just exfiltrated another Hero gored by a giant cactus needle. Flipping up his visor and chugging grapefruit juice in a somewhat undignified fashion, the young man wiped his mouth with his forearm before seeing Best Jeanist and Edgeshot watching him, the Turbo Hero having the decency to blush.
"Well… Nice to see we aren't the only ones feeling exhausted," Edgeshot hummed as he chugged his own water source as well before downing some ration pills.
"You know, I played Final Fantasy titles as a kid, but I never thought those goofy-looking cacti would be such a pain in the butt," Tensei said making idle conversation as he picked a needle out of his armor.
"SOMEBODY STOP THIS THI-HI-HI-HI-HIIIINNNG!" the Buster Hero: Airjet cried as a cactus needle in his signature jetpack sent him barrel rolling uncontrollably through the air.
"Well, a Turbo Hero's work is never done," Tensei hummed snapping his faceplate back down before shooting off after his fellow Hero.
" . . . This all feels like some kind of absurdist fantasy…" Edgeshot hummed as he watched the chaos going on.
"Maybe… this is what people felt… like when Quirks… first appeared…!" Best Jeanist grunted as he was finally able to wholly restrain the Gigantuar's movements, allowing All Might to swoop in and nail it between the eyes with his-
"CALIFORNIAAAAAA… SMAAASH!"
Green succulent viscera scattered all about with a deafening *KER-SPLAT-AT-AT-AT-AT-AT!* that echoed off the surrounding buildings, the smaller Cactuar let out frightened squeals and began to scatter, Ingenium's more mobility-based sidekicks getting a real workout.
A crying shame this wouldn't net them any sort of bonus...
"Well, at least the big one's down," Edgeshot sighed, only to practically get blinded as a Gigantuar made of metal thundered down the street, the sun catching its shiny chromed skin and blinding everyone in the tri-prefecture area.
" . . . "
" . . . "
" . . . "
" . . . I stand corrected," Edgeshot deflated, the Buster Union peppering the thing with everything they had from their ridable four-rotor drones, only for the Kaiju-sized metallic succulent to brush them off.
*AHA*
"And that's why I was late getting back from the grocery store," Takei summarized for Elma as they walked through the streets of a remote hot spring town in pursuit of exclusive late-night snacks.
Definitely something Elma would go out of her way for.
"I wonder what Paozusaurus tastes like…" Elma hummed thoughtfully, a bit of drool running out of the corner of her mouth.
"Well, if I ever meet Son Gohan, I'll be sure to ask him," Takei sighed. A moment later, dozens of screaming people rounded the corner, if not went all the other ways at the intersection they were heading towards. "Ohhhhhh… That can't be good."
And it wasn't. The thing that stalked around the corner a few seconds later was a horrific beast resembling a chimera made of arachnid and lycan parts, possessing a bloated body with sparse, matted dark-colored fur and six wolf-like limbs. Its head was round and flat, its two gold-colored eyes peering out of the dark like large fireflies, its mouth filled with countless sharp teeth flanked by mandibles. Tangled up in its fur were human skeletons, and the thing's mere presence made every hair on Takei's body stand on end.
When it turned its attention on him…
"NOPE!" the Lombax-like teen summarized the bulk of his thoughts as he turned on his heel and ran for his life, the thing letting out a guttural howl as it galloped down the street after him with single-minded determination.
So single-minded it didn't see the slit draconian eyes regarding it until it was too late.
Cue One-Punch Man (Guitar Riff)
*BOOM-SPLAT!*
The thing's body exploding under the weight of the Holy Sea Priestess' punch, as cursed magic evaporated rapidly, a small trinket bounced on the ground before stopping at Elma's feet, the disguised Dragon stooping down to pick it up.
"Hmmmmmmm… I should probably keep this away from Fafnir," Elma hummed as she looked down at the malformed bone-like ring with its inset sapphire, the thing positively oozing eldritch power. "Don't worry, you're safe now, Takei-kun."
. . . . . .
. . .
"Takei-kun?" the Dragon OL blinked as she looked around, only to see a dot of blond hair in the middling distance vanishing into the night. "Takei-kun, wait! The snacks are the other way!" she cried as she ran off after him, heedless of the Deep Accursed viscera scattered around.
That and the flummoxed Hero who'd borne witness to the whole thing.
*AHA*
Minutes later, the Hot Spring Hero: Steam Man would take credit for the kill thanks to his Overclocked Steam Punch and the fact that all other potential witnesses had the wherewithal to run for the hills, given the general "inhuman" nature of this creature and its nonconformity to projected societal norms of "Villains versus Heroes" "etiquette".
He would almost-immediately be mauled by the thing's identical twin before the eyes of police and other local Heroes alike, and summarily avenged by the Nanahara Family Alliance out of Kyoto.
But that, was a story for another day.
*AHA*
I'd like to thank my friends on Discord for suggesting some of the content for "Multiversal Menagerie of Madness", formerly "Leg Day" before I realized that having all of these things chase Takei specifically would be a bit of a stretch given there's other stuff I wanna make stories about before the big "Run for the Money" chapter.
Sure, it's Filler, but not every day in his life has to have "some deep cosmic meaning" in-universe. Sometimes it can just be used to show that bad things happen to people other than Takei while having a good laugh and making some perfectly valid cameos.
And as a bit of a post-script, for anyone not following me on Discord server but is still interested in contributing to this story, I'm contemplating a wider How to Train Your Dragon inclusion after watching some "Horrible Ways to Die" videos on YouTube by GojiCenter.
So, if anyone's familiar with the franchise and has a Dragon they want to see, whether it be in the hands of Takei or as/with an Antagonist, give me a ring with the "What?" and more-importantly the "Why?", and I'll get back to you on that~
And until next time…
GOTTA BLAST!