Chapter 159- Old Friends

Charlotte crept quietly into their bedroom and put a hand on Nathan's shoulder where he was sitting beside Liam's cradle. "Whenever I can't find you, I come here."

"I can't seem to stop watching him," Nathan admitted, staring down at their son, who was staring right back. Gazing deep into Nathan's eyes, mesmerized by the movement of his lips and the deep resonance of his voice. Little Liam was getting round and dimpled. And much to his family's delight, finally sleeping better at night. He cooed and wiggled at whoever would talk to him, occasionally causing a high-pitched, half-hiccup to escape his sweet mouth.

Charlotte wrapped her arms around Nathan from behind, settling her cheek against his as they watched their son. Liam flung an arm above his blanket in response and Nathan let his hand wrap around his index finger. In the couple months since the baby's arrival, Nathan was amazed at how he had become accustomed to Liam's gurgles, and his silent, sleeping presence in his cradle. Nathan listened for Liam to wake in the morning, or went, by reflex, to pick him up when he started to cry.

"It's impossible not to love him, isn't it?" Charlotte tightened her grip around Nathan's waist. As though seeing her husband and son interact in this way made her legs weaken and she needed to cling to him in order to stay standing.

"All those little expressions he does…" His voice trailed off, simply overcome with the emotion of it all.

"It's impossible not to love you too, Sarge." Charlotte twisted slightly and placed an intoxicating string of kisses and light nibbles along his jawline. "You are the most amazing dad to our kids, Nathan Grant. Watching you with them. It's pretty potent stuff."

Nathan pulled his gaze from their son in the cradle to focus on that of his wife. His heart rate sped, and his mouth went dry with the look in her eyes. He didn't need any more encouragement and turned, drawing her fully into his chest, with an arm around her waist. She gasped as he captured her mouth with his in a hard kiss. Her lips matched his in intensity and wonder. Masterful, rough, yet loving in their search and dance with one another.

As Nathan fingers reached for the first button of Charlotte's blouse, Liam let out a piercing cry, earning a groan in response from his parents. Their lips withdrew ever so slightly, resting their foreheads against one another, trying to steady their breathing while Nathan fought the urge to pull Charlotte back to him and begin again.

"I don't think Dr. Griffiths' book covered this particular growing pain of having a baby." Charlotte said, her voice rising to be heard over Liam's continued cries.

Nathan chuckled, brushing a loose strand of hair away from Charlotte's neck, the intimacy causing her to shiver with his touch. "Our son has about as good of timing as his Grandpa Bill." Nathan leaned in and kissed his wife. This time the kiss was tender and restrained. "That'll have to sustain us for now," he said when he withdrew his mouth from hers and reached down to pick up their son, handing him over to Charlotte. "I believe this is my partner's 'I'm hungry, Momma' cry."

"He's always hungry," Charlotte said in a sarcastic tone as she carried Liam to one of the rocking chairs in their room, settling to feed her son.

Nathan sat down in the chair opposite her. "He's also always stinky."

The two parents laughed and easily fell into a synchronized rhythm in their rocking chairs.

"I really wish that Warren could be here this weekend for Liam's christening," Charlotte whispered, almost to herself as she stared down into her son's blue eyes.

"Me too," Nathan reached across the small space that separated the chairs and took his wife's hand. "But Bill is going to stand in for him in the ceremony, and Allie will be there. I really think that we chose the perfect Godparents for our son. It may be a little unconventional having your older sister as your Godmother, but Allie and Warren are the right choice for Liam."

"When you talked to Gabe the other day, what time did he think they would be getting into town this afternoon?"

"He wasn't sure. He hoped it wouldn't be too late but said they may not get as early of a start out of Brookfield as he would like. It seems that both the sisters have been…"

Charlotte raised a brow to Nathan's sudden pause. "Have been?"

"It's nothing." Nathan picked up the book that lay beside his rocking chair, trying to hide his face behind it so Charlotte couldn't read him.

"You're not doing very well here convincing me that there is nothing more to tell."

"How so?"

Charlotte reached across and took the book from his hands, twisting it around to show him that he'd been looking at the novel upside down. "That's how so." She chuckled, returning the book to him right-side up. "Now, are you going to tell me what else you were going to say? Or do I have to guess?"

"I can't." Nathan groaned and ran a hand through his hair. "It's not my place to say and I swore to Gabe I wouldn't be the one to tell you."

"Fine." Charlotte studied him. "I won't push anymore. I would hate for you to break a promise to a fellow Mountie."

Later that day, Nathan and Charlotte waited for their daughter outside the schoolhouse as she finished up one of her last days of classes before summer vacation. Allie was thrilled to see her parents and little brother waiting for her on the path into town and ran to join them. Calling her friends over to see her smiley baby brother.

As the children came to greet little Liam, Charlotte took the opportunity to catch up on her students' lives over the past couple months. They filled her in on the books they were reading, the tests they were taking, and their plans for the summer. She missed them terribly, but knew they were in good hands with Elizabeth and Laura. Charlotte believed with all her heart she was where she was meant to be for this season in their family's life together.

Once the children dispersed, the Grants decided to go on a walk around the pond and then into town as they waited for those who were coming from Brookfield for Liam's christening.

"Sooo…" Charlotte whispered intimately into Nathan's ear as they strolled hand in hand following Allie pushing Liam in the pram. "When are you going to tell me your deep, dark secret with Gabe?"

Charlotte really didn't care if Nathan told her the 'secret' or not. She sensed whatever it was, wasn't bad news, just something Gabe wanted to share himself. Charlotte was simply enjoying teasing her husband. He knew it and played along.

"You are impossible," Nathan kissed her cheek. "And infuriating. I thought you said you weren't going to push me anymore?"

"That was earlier. Now, I want to know."

She almost skipped along beside him. In a joyful, playful manner that couldn't help but make Nathan smile. There were moments his wife seemed more like a schoolgirl to him than a grown woman. Her happiness carried on the rise and fall of her laughter and showed through her eyes as they twinkled with mirth. The woman beside Nathan was so unlike the woman he first met on these streets of town years ago and he hoped he played a part in bringing this exuberance into her life.

"How about I treat you to an ice cream?" Nathan asked Charlotte.

"Are you trying to distract me? Or bribe me to quit my interrogation?"

"If it works, does it really matter which one it is?"

They both laughed easily, but Charlotte nodded in agreement. A cold, sweet treat sounded good to celebrate summer's quick approach. Nathan informed Allie of his plan and kissed his wife's cheek once more before bounding across the street to get three ice creams.

"Ah... Nathan?" Charlotte called out after him.

"Yeah?" He stopped and looked over his shoulder at his family.

"Oh, forget it." She waved off.

"No. No. What is it?"

"Two scoops this time."

"Alright," Nathan turned to open the door to the ice cream shop.

"Hey, Nathan?"

"Yes…" He stepped back out onto the boardwalk.

"A cone?"

He shook his head side to side, realizing she was just trying to tease him a little longer. "You got it." He winked, earning a lilting laugh to carry from his wife.

Nathan turned back around to head inside the ice cream shop, almost colliding into a woman quickly stepping past him.

"Lottie?" The woman called across the street. "Lottie Thompson. I know that's you! I'd recognize that giggle from anywhere."

"Lottie Thompson?" Nathan mumbled under his breath, confused for the briefest of moments before he saw Charlotte running across the street towards them. Jumping onto the boardwalk and wrapping the woman into her arms. They held each other tight, swaying back and forth, a mixture of laughter and cries intermingling.

As Nathan watched the scene, a man came to stand beside him from inside the store. "You must be Sergeant Nathan Grant." He extended his hand forward in greeting. "I'm…"

Before the man could introduce himself, Charlotte exclaimed, "Matt!"

The man chuckled as Charlotte arms circled his neck in a hug. "It's good to see you too, Lottie. It's been too long."

"What? What are you both doing here?" Charlotte stepped back and looked between them. "I had no idea you were coming to town."

"We wanted it to be a surprise," the woman said, stepping cautiously closer to Charlotte's side.

"I think we succeeded, love." The man smiled as he took the woman's hand into his own and placed it onto his arm for support.

"Oh, my goodness!" Charlotte reached over to Nathan, suddenly realizing he was still in the dark about who exactly these people were. "Where are my manners? Nathan…" she pulled him to her side. "This is my old friends, Matt, and Megan Lane. I've told you all about them I know, but I just never knew that I'd get to introduce you all to each other. Matt. Megan. This is my husband, Nathan."

"Ah- yes." A mischievous smile across Megan's face failed to hide her girlish giggles. "Lottie got herself one of the West's knights in red-serge armor. A part of me always knew she would from when we read all those books growing up about Prince Charming."

As soon as Charlotte made the introductions, Nathan knew exactly who these strangers were. Megan and Charlotte grew up together near Longview. When the girls were in their teens, Megan was infected with scarlet fever. She survived but at the cost of her eyesight. Charlotte stayed by her friend's side, as the girl relearned how to live everyday life as a blind young woman. Sitting beside Megan as she learned how to read braille was what spurred Charlotte to pursue her certificate to teach blind students all those years ago. The certification that ultimately led her to Hope Valley. Megan and her husband Matt, who lived in the East, had been the ones to write to Charlotte and inform her that Beck was searching for her after she left Potter's Creek. The letter she received the day before Charlotte confided to Nathan about her troubled past.

By then, Allie had made her way with Liam over to where her parents stood. "And this beautiful, young woman…" Charlotte wrapped her arm around Allie's shoulders. "Is our daughter, Allie. Allie, this is my oldest friend, Megan and her husband, Matt. You remember me telling you about them, right?"

"I do," she nodded, reaching out to shake Matt's hand in greeting, before being engulfed into a hug by Megan.

"Allie," Megan squeezed the girl tighter. "It's so good to finally meet you. Lottie's told us so much about you in her various letters throughout the years." She stepped back slightly, her hands coming up on either side of Allie's face. "May I?"

Allie glanced over at Charlotte, unsure of what Megan was requesting. Charlotte squeezed her daughter's hand in gentle reassurance as she explained. "Megan has learned to rely on her other senses. One of the ways she can see is through touch."

"Oh," Allie said. She smiled and lifted her hands to rest on Megan's that were still gently cupping her cheeks. She then guided the woman's fingertips across her face and hair, trying to describe in detail her physical features to her mother's friend. The kind gesture made Charlotte's heart tighten with emotion and she glanced over at Nathan who was already giving her an all-knowing smile. When Allie finished, the girl then reached down and picked up Liam from the pram. Holding him, she introduced Megan to her little brother in much the same way she'd just done with herself.

"You have a beautiful family here, Lottie." Megan said, a subtle forlorn expression fleeting across her face. "I remember all those years ago, us sharing our dreams and ideas of our future and here you are, living everything you talked about having one day."

"I thank God for these three, and this town." Charlotte smiled as Allie placed Liam into her arms. "Speaking of which, you still haven't told me what brought you here. Other than to surprise me."

"Matt received a new job. The school for the blind that I have been teaching at, is expanding. They are wanting to add higher education courses and have hired Matt to be the program's director."

"Congratulations, Matt. But I'm still not understanding what that has to do with you traveling all the way to Hope Valley."

"Since we are now both in education, we decided to take the summer vacation time and do a little traveling before Matt became busy with his new position. We haven't been back to visit our families in Longview since just after our wedding, and when you wrote about Liam's birth and his upcoming christening, we knew this would be a perfect time to come and see you as well."

"I'm so glad you did. But we are going to have quite a house full with our friends from Brookfield also due into town at any minute."

"We can stay at the hotel here, if that is easier?" Matt gestured in the direction of the Queen of Hearts.

"I won't hear of that," Nathan spoke up. "You will stay at the ranch. We have plenty of room, we just may need to get a little creative with the sleeping arrangements."

"If, you're sure."

"You are Charlotte- or should I say Lottie's-" Nathan winked at his wife, "family. You will stay with us."

Later that evening, after the arrival of those from Brookfield, the Grants, Lanes, Kinslows, and Stewarts crowded around the dining room table. It was a lively meal filled with laughs and stories of the children finishing up the school year and Megan retellings of her own childhood shenanigans with Charlotte. Nathan found himself hanging on every word Megan shared of his wife's upbringing, enjoying the opportunity to know her younger years like he never had a chance to before.

When it neared the children's bedtime, Tess drove the two Brookfield boys, Vincent and one of the newer orphans, Theo, back into Hope Valley. They planned to stay with the Coulters and Fred to make room for Matt and Megan at the ranch. The girls, Mary Louise and Violet, meanwhile were tucked into Allie's room for the night and the adults listened to their continued giggles and laughter from their place downstairs.

"I've missed having that sound in the house," Lillian admitted from her place beside Charlotte at the dining room table. "It all feels so empty without all the children around."

"Any progress being made on getting your license back?" Nathan asked.

"Some. Randal. I mean, Mr. Andrews, the old children's bureau inspector has been trying to help us through some of his old contacts, but with not much success. He has little bits and pieces, but no way to connect them and clear New Hope's name."

"I'm just thankful that the children were able to stay in town, with the help of Tess." Grace added, squeezing Chuck's hand in hers. "It's nice to still be near them and even see a few more be adopted into some very loving homes. I think the remaining children are all excited to be adding a couple more into the family before Christmas."

"Oh," Charlotte twisted her head slightly. "I didn't think you would be getting any more orphans until everything was cleared with your licenses." Grace and Lillian glanced at each other, a glow radiating from within that Charlotte instantly understood. "Wait! No! Both of you? At the same time?"

The two sisters nodded in sync. "We are."

Charlotte smiled at Nathan, who wore his own sheepish grin. "Is this the secret you couldn't tell me earlier?"

"Maybe?" He reached over and took Liam from Charlotte's arms, setting her free to hug Lillian and Grace and their husbands in congratulations.

Something caught Charlotte's attention as she moved between the expecting parents. When she looked up, she saw that it was Megan quickly leaving the room with the help of her walking stick. Her friend disappeared into the hallway a moment before Charlotte heard the unmistakable sound of the front door opening and closing. She was mystified at her friend's reaction before her eyes connected with Matt's. He started to rise to follow his wife, but Charlotte signaled him to stay. She looked over at Nathan and he seemed to understand, nodding his agreement that she should follow Megan's path outside.

When Charlotte reached the front porch, she saw her friend standing in the corner, leaning against the railing at the far end. Barely illuminated from the light within the house. She walked slowly to Megan's side, suddenly unsure of what to say.

Finally, Megan turned slowly, and Charlotte saw the tears that streamed down the woman's cheeks. "I'm sorry," she said with a weak attempt at a smile. "I knew this may be hard for me. Meeting your little family. Holding your beautiful baby. He really is perfect, you know." Megan's eyes were downcast, seemingly studying her hands that twisted nervously in front of her. "As are Allie and Nathan. They are all you ever said about them and more. I'm so happy for you, Lottie. Truly." She lifted her chin, and Charlotte was able to study her friend a little closer and was shocked to see that Megan looked careworn and older than her years.

With another effort at a smile, Megan went on. "I'm sorry. I really am. I just wasn't prepared emotionally to hear about everyone else's good news of expanding their families." She wrapped her arms around herself. A gesture that seemed to both comfort and protect. "I didn't know it would be so hard. I mean, I had no idea I'd react so foolishly. I'd… I'd love to have a baby. My own, you know. Well, I did. I mean- that is, I have had babies of my own. Three, in fact. But they've not lived- not any of them." Her voice trailed off, then her expression hardened.

"I didn't know… You never told me about that."

Megan swiped at her tear-stained cheeks as she gave a bleak laugh. "Well, it's not really something you write about in a Christmas card each year, is it?"

Charlotte took a deep breath for control and laid a sympathetic hand on Megan's shoulder. "I'm so sorry," she said softly. "It's not easy. No parent should ever have to…"

"The last one…" Megan was again weeping in broken, heartrending sobs. "We lost him at almost five months along. It was the farthest I had gotten in all my pregnancies. I had started to let myself hope…"

"Megs…" Charlotte slid her arms around Megan's shaking shoulders and pulled her friend close.

"It happened right after you sent word about Liam's birth. I was so excited to tell you that we were going to have babies together of about the same age, but it wasn't meant to be. And then tonight when Lillian and Grace announced their pregnancies, I just…"

The two were silent for a long time until Megan was able to quiet her sobbing. Comforted by her friend's presence. Charlotte pulled back slightly and worked to smooth Megan's beautiful copper hair back off her face. "Megs…" She began again. "I don't want you to think that I know everything you are feeling. Nathan and I haven't been married nearly as long as you and Matt have. I haven't buried three babies… but… I do know the loss of a child."

"What?"

"Like you said… It's not really something you write about in your Christmas card each year."

"You had a miscarriage too? You and Nathan?"

"Yes." Charlotte swallowed the lump that grew in her throat. "But it is a little more complicated than that." Megan's eyebrow raised in question and Charlotte looped their arms together and guided them to sit on the steps of the porch.

And with that she told her friend the whole story. The one that hadn't seemed right to spill out on the pages of a letter, but here, right now, in the light of the moon and under a blanket of stars, Charlotte shared the parts of her past that still darkened her from time to time. Living in Potter's Creek. Her doomed relationship with Beck. Her attack and escape. Meeting Nathan and Allie. The baby and the wildfire.

It was a loss that she knew would always be with her. The child she would never have the opportunity to know or raise. The baby she wouldn't see Nathan hold, or Allie cuddle with in the big chair beside the fire. It was a sibling that Liam would never play beside. It was a pain that stung the corners of her eyes and wretched at her heart at the most unexpected moments. But sharing the hurt with her oldest friend brought a sense of peace. They weren't in this alone. Talking about it didn't bring their children back to this earth, but it did have a way of helping both women keep their memories alive. Their babies existed. Their babies had been, and would always be, loved.

Sorry, after all the joy of the last chapters with Baby Grant's arrival, that I'm bringing in a little bit of this heavier storyline. But I think it's important to remember and talk about. My heart and prayers go out to anyone of you who have experienced this loss in your life or struggled with infertility (I think the statistic is one in four women have- so it hits home for many).

Please always remember that last line of this chapter. Your babies existed. Your babies had been, and would always be, loved.