4: A Lesson in Balance

"I think we've almost come to the end," Volo said, though it sounded like a casual observation, not a grumble.

The two travellers were wandering along the bottom of the valley, among the trees, at the foot of the horseshoe ridge. Akari ran her fingers along the rock here and there, trying to see how solid it was, looking up in search of any potential footholds. Volo kept an old compass in his hand, checking it now and again. Behind them, Akari's Samurott and Clefable were standing guard, scaring off any bugs that got too close.

It seemed like they weren't getting anywhere. They had tried, and debated various potential climbing points, but the ridge had always been too high, too steep, or some combination of the two. Akari couldn't help thinking about how easy it would be, if the Noble Sneasler could just come and give them a boost, but she wasn't going to bring that up again.

Akari sighed loudly, fighting the urge to punch the rock in her frustration. "I think you're right."

They had started at the other end of the ridge, hoping they could climb up as close as possible to north-east on the compass. Then the Mountain Camp would be so much closer. But the height and angle of the ridge had made it impossible.

Now they were close to the exit from Wayward Cave. All they'd done was wander around in a big semi-circle. That was energy spent with nothing to show for it, and Akari's 'logical' shortcut was starting to look like a stupid idea.

But she couldn't let go of it now. She was too invested, too attached to that moment when Volo had seemed to think it was a great plan. Now it sounded like he was cooling off it, like he didn't care either way. That hurt, but Akari decided to let it fuel her.

She made her way to where the ridge looked the shortest, not far from the cave. Here, she laid her hands upon the rock and looked up, determined.

"No," she said firmly. "We have to try."

She reached up and found a good hand-hold. Then a place to put a foot. Climbing was nothing more than that, she told herself. Just hands and feet, over and over again.

She was breathing hard. Sometimes, there was no rock to grab onto, and she had to back down and find another route. Sometimes, she tried to use a branch growing out of the ground, or a thick clump of leaves, only to pull it loose and nearly slip.

But, even though her ascent was slow, the top of the ridge was getting nearer. She wondered if she might be imagining things, but no, eventually she knew she could reach the top. Her fingers met the top of the ridge, and when she got a bit higher, she could pull herself up. Her arms had gotten stronger recently.

On the other side, when Akari pulled herself up high enough to see, she found a death drop. She caught a quick glimpse of that bridge they'd been standing on that very morning, looking up at the twin waterfalls. She saw the river, where she and Torterra had been training, where Volo had set the fishbones adrift. All of that lay a few hundred feet down.

Samurott could not see what his trainer was seeing, but he started barking, like he knew she was doing something risky. Akari tried to laugh it off, but she was too tired, and there was no point in lying. For now, she retreated a little, carefully lowering herself back down to her last secure footholds.

Well, we should probably talk about this, since it involves a risk to life, and all that.

There was a reason why Akari had never dragged Volo along to her fights against the Nobles, and why she'd try to dissuade him from staying too close, when Dialga and Palkia had showed up through the space-time rift. She didn't think anyone else should suffer as a result of her lack of self-preservation. But now it had come to that.

"It's seriously high over the other side. But I think the top is wide enough to stand on. If not, we can always shuffle on our ass-…uh, backsides."

"You think it's wide enough? That isn't very reassuring, Miss Akari!"

Let's just do it.

Akari climbed up again, this time getting a little higher, pushing herself up with even more strength, until she could swing one leg and then the other onto the top of the ridge. She didn't want to stand up. She thought the butt-shuffle idea would have been absolutely fine, even if it wasn't the most dignified thing to imagine.

But she did stand up, moving as slowly as she could, taking care not to lock her knees or lean even slightly backwards. It helped to look down - not at the drop behind her, but the other way, down at Volo and her two worried Pokémon. Most of the time, though, she kept her eyes on her feet and the ground that was holding her up. She hoped it wasn't as crumbly as the honey cakes they'd eaten earlier.

"See? I did it!"

Volo had one hand clamped over his mouth, the other upon his stomach, like he was about to lose his lunch. Akari thought that was rich, since he wasn't the one standing on a narrow clifftop. But it wasn't funny, because if Volo couldn't do this with her, then her shortcut idea was dead, and they were heading off to deal with the Ursaring and the quarry.

"Volo! You're not scared of heights, are you? If you are, I don't think this will work."

Kinda should have mentioned that before you agreed to this idea, buddy.

With a shake of his head, Volo put his compass back into his pocket. He used the lining of his long cloak to wipe his hands, then tucked the ends into the tops of his tall boots, presumably so he wouldn't trip.

When he started to climb, Akari had to hold back a laugh: the rock face was only about twice his height. His backpack always looked heavy - though Akari couldn't imagine what was in it, or why he even needed it, if he wasn't merchanting right now - but he had long arms and legs to make up for it. He didn't seem to be having fun, but he was faster than she had been.

Akari couldn't recall seeing Volo in such a physical situation before, but he was obviously a lot stronger than his willowy build suggested. He never lost his grip, never seemed to struggle. She figured that years of hiking around Hisui with heavy wares to sell might do that.

I wonder if he could have fought the frenzied Nobles. Could he? Would he…?

Volo lifted himself up onto the ridge, landing belly first next to Akari. Now, finally, he seemed out of breath. He lay there for a few seconds, his backpack rising and falling with each inhale and exhale.

Akari instinctively reached down towards him. Then she realised she couldn't risk helping him up, in case she lost her balance.

Fortunately, Volo didn't seem to need the assistance. He glanced over the side, down towards the river, but he didn't seem any more afraid than the average person would be. No phobia of heights, then. But Akari hoped that he wasn't brand new to this, because if he was, and if anything happened to him, she'd feel respon-

Dude, no. Don't even think about that.

Akari realised that the tables had turned: now she probably looked more scared than Volo did, as he began to stand up. He was so much taller, and with the added weight of his backpack, his centre of gravity must have been a lot higher than hers. But he seemed to know it: he stayed low, keeping his back hunched and his hands on the straps of his rucksack so that it wouldn't slide to either side and - the weight, it would pull him right over the edge…

Stop thinking about it.

Akari couldn't risk reaching out to give Volo an encouraging pat, but she had to say something, to get rid of all the tension in the air, and the unwanted thoughts in her head.

"Uh…did you see how easy that was? I swear, Volo, you'll be thanking me, before we get done! And in the future, you'll be like, 'wow, remember that fun trip I had with Akari?'..."

Volo glared at her in a way that Akari had never seen before. It was a glare that, under any other circumstances, would have made the girl question her choices and rush to apologise. But for now, she thought, it was understandable.

Akari withdrew Samurott and Clefable, since they no longer needed protecting from the bugs on the forest floor. Then, with the tiniest and shakiest of steps - more of a delicate dance than a walk - she turned on the spot, so that she was facing in the direction that they needed to take.

Volo was behind her, but Akari figured that was for the best. She wouldn't block his view in the same way he would hers. Whether he was ahead or behind, she would worry about him, so it made little difference in that sense.

For a good while, they didn't say anything. Even Akari's dislike for silence was overshadowed by her need to concentrate on where she was putting her feet. She would find herself holding her breath, like her brain was too focused on her legs and her balance to keep giving orders to her lungs. So, every few paces, she had to stop and remind herself to breathe.

When they got into a rhythm, she finally dared to speak again.

"Hey, Volo! At least it's Summer!"

"What does that have to do with it?"

"If there was snow or ice up here, it'd be impossible!"

Talking about snow and ice reminded Akari of the time when she'd run into Volo in the Icelands. She remembered, now, that he had shied away from the chance of seeing the Noble Avalugg, despite his curiosity. 'Not at the cost of my life,' he'd said with a nervous laugh. Akari supposed that answered her own internal question from earlier, about whether Volo would have gone toe-to-toe with the frenzied Nobles, if she hadn't done it.

I guess nobody would ever have asked him, though. Merchants don't do that.

"Well, don't speak too soon, Miss Akari."

He has a point, Akari thought.

The ridge's peak was jagged, sometimes steep, and horribly narrow in places. Akari could already tell that this walk would leave an ache. She couldn't speak for Volo, of course, but she knew that she'd be paying for their shortcut with pain tomorrow. She could tell by the way she was holding her whole body tense, pressing her thighs together so that she couldn't take too large a step, making her feet landed squarely, using her arms for balance.

Any unintended movement felt too dangerous. Akari could not even allow herself to shiver from the cold, and that only created more tension in her bones, from her teeth down to her toes.

If there was snow or ice up here, it'd be impossible.

Akari wondered if she should just cut that word out of her vocabulary. She didn't believe in jinxing things, so it wasn't that. It had just crossed her mind that, if someone had fallen back in time, out of a hole in the sky, and had spent the last few weeks fighting creatures from legends, maybe they should rethink what's possible.

Akari had been changed. She knew that she had, because the old Akari would not have been where she was now. It wasn't that she'd become fearless - with every step along the ridge, she felt fear - but somehow, she had found the ability to sit with it. That cliché motivational quote about how you should 'feel the fear and do it anyway' had become her life.

Maybe Volo hadn't been tested before, she thought. Surely he must have been tested in some ways, just from growing up in Hisui. But maybe his trials had been different. Akari thought about how terrified he'd looked, before making that climb. For a minute, she'd thought he'd never do it. Or, if he did, she'd expected him to throw up over the side, change his mind, and climb back down again.

But now he was behind her, and Akari was glad. She was…proud of him. But she couldn't say that to a grown man, could she?

"How are you doing, Volo? Just one step at a time. That's how I - "

"Let's not talk," he answered abruptly, and Akari thought that was fair enough.

As the pair went along, the sun seemed to move in the sky, faster than they did. And so their shadows, too, seemed to move more than they did. Akari wondered if this was how it felt to be a sundial.

Now and again, she would look up to see how far they had left to go. Most of the time, it was not a good sight. She told herself not to look up too often, so that she wouldn't keep being disappointed. Until the time when she looked up again, and she could see the very tops of the Survey Corps' off-white flags, blowing in the wind.

Unable to keep the victory to herself, she pointed eagerly, and turned to look at her companion. "Volo, look! That's the Mountain Camp right - "

That was when she fell.

It happened so slowly, and yet so quickly, she wasn't even sure it was happening.

She felt her stomach drop first, and for a fraction of a second, she thought that was all it was. A sudden jolt of vertigo, maybe.

Then everything began to spin, mountains and sky blurring together, and she knew it was real. She just didn't know how. It seemed unfair, really. For someone who had survived so much, she should have been accident-proof. But apparently not.

She scrambled for something to blame. The promise she'd made to Volo about not using the Celestica flute…? No, it didn't matter. It was too late, anyway.

Akari waited for the rush of air, the weightlessness, wondering how long it would last before she hit oblivion. She hoped it would be quick. She'd once heard that people who were falling from a great height would lose consciousness before they reached the ground, and just as she was hoping that it was true, it happened. She knew that she didn't close her eyes, yet her vision went blank.

But only for a moment.

Then it felt as though everything was reversing, and she came back to her senses.

Did I just imagine all of that?

Akari realised that one of her feet was still on the ground; she could feel it, solid, beneath the sole of her shoe. The other was hanging over the edge, hovering over her grave. She must have been falling, then, but…?

The scarf of her Survey Corps uniform was tight around her throat. Akari realised that Volo had her scruffed, like a feral young Pokémon. She could feel his knuckles pressing into the back of her neck. His hand was shaking violently, but he had her. His other hand must have been hooked into the back of her belt, causing another faint line of pressure at her waist, but not quite so tightly as the one that held her scarf.

Just my scarf.

Just a strip of red, long enough to wrap around her neck several times and still have some to spare. Akari always left that part trailing down her back. She realised that Volo could just have grabbed that loose end, and the scarf would be all he was holding right now. Its coils, not secured by any kind of pin, would have unravelled as she fell to her death. Despite how quickly he'd reacted, he'd managed to grab her so that she didn't fall.

He saved me.

One of Akari's hands, too, was holding something: in that terrifying moment, she must have reached back and grabbed whatever she could, and now she could feel the scratchy fabric of Volo's cloak. She was holding on so tightly that it was hurting her skin.

Blinking away tears, and with shuddering breaths, Akari let go of Volo's cloak. She tried to plant her loose foot in front of the other, desperate to feel her weight on both legs again.

As she tried to move forwards, her scarf got tighter. She could feel it pressing against her windpipe.

She realised that it wasn't only her own breathing that she could hear, but Volo's, too. He sounded and felt too close, like he'd yanked her into his chest when he'd stopped her from falling. And now he wouldn't - or couldn't - let go of her. She was safe, but he continued to twist her scarf between his fingers, like he just couldn't release his grip.

Because I just scared him half to death, probably.

"Volo…?" Akari could feel herself getting woozy. "You can…"

Let go.

Just she was about to reach up, desperate to claw her scarf away from her throat, she felt the pressure lifting, air rushing into her chest. Volo's hand was still warm on the back of her neck, like he couldn't bring himself to fully break contact with her. And, for a moment, Akari didn't want him to.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." The words flew out of her mouth in gasps, again and again.

"Don't be sorry, Miss Akari," he said, his voice low and shaky. "Only please be more careful."

For Akari, the remainder of the ridge went by in a thick, hazy blur. They certainly weren't going any faster; if anything, they must have slowed down. She couldn't think straight.

Volo said nothing. Sometimes, Akari wanted him to speak, but she didn't know what she was expecting him to say.

As she slowly regained the ability to think beyond herself, she realised it must have been awful for him, too. She'd had the feeling that she was falling, and that she was about to meet her end. But Volo must have seen it. She could only be thankful that he had, and that his reflexes were so fast, so accurate. But the sight of it must have sent his adrenaline through the roof, too.

After a while, the deadly drop was behind them. The ridge curved around, away from it. Down to their left, to the west now, was the sparse forest near the lake where they'd rested earlier in the day. In the other direction was a much shorter drop than before, to the plateau where the Mountain Camp lay.

Falling in either direction, now, would not have meant death. But Akari didn't like the idea of breaking an arm, either, so she continued to be careful. The Mountain Camp continued to get closer. And that moment continued to replay itself in her mind. Whenever it did, she could feel her world spinning all over again.

When the ridge had widened enough that it didn't seem quite so dangerous, Akari slowed to a stop.

"Can we sit down for a sec?" she asked. "I know we're nearly there, but…I keep getting dizzy…"

"Of course, Miss Akari. I hope you'll forgive me for not sitting with you. It's much further for me to travel, you see."

Akari wasn't sure what he meant, until she looked up from her now-seated position and saw the vast gulf between them. Volo was still standing, looking down at her, holding out one of his water flasks.

"Little wonder you're dizzy, my friend, since you don't drink enough," he said, shaking the flask. It sounded like it was almost empty, but he was right.

Akari took it and drank as much as she could stomach. It hadn't been purified, but it tasted fine. Anyway, she already felt nauseous enough. If she was going to be sick later, she'd be sick, and it might not be the water to blame.

As she handed the flask back to Volo, she realised she still hadn't thanked him - not for the water, but for what he'd done.

"Thank you for catching me earlier. I'm sorry if I scared you. Scared me, too."

"So I should think! I must say, Miss Akari: your carelessness makes your bold achievements thus far all the more impressive."

What does that mean?

Just to fill the silence, Akari laughed quietly, although she wasn't sure if that was the right response. Her mind raced, trying to decide if Volo had meant it as a joke, a compliment, or an insult. It was difficult to see his face from here; his head may as well have been in the heavens, for how far away it was.

Based on past experience, she knew he was probably being nice. He'd been throwing praise at her ever since she'd landed in Hisui.

She hoped he was still being nice. It wasn't like she couldn't take a joke, but the idea that he might have been poking fun at her right now was…

Akari felt her eyes burning. She tried to hold it back. When she couldn't, she tried to hide it, at least. Soon she had no choice but to reach up and dab at her face, with the loose end of her scarf. She hoped that Volo wouldn't notice, from all the way up there, but he was far too observant for that.

"What's the matter, Miss Akari?" His voice was soft. He reached down to touch her shoulder lightly. "If it's about what happened earlier, may I give you some advice? I find it best not to dwell on past troubles. I prefer to think about what I might learn from them, and how I might do things differently in future!"

I guess that's a polite way of telling me not to come up with any more stupid shortcuts, Akari thought.

Though his tone was soothing, she found herself crying even more. As she hid her face behind her sleeve, she realised that she felt more relieved than anything. Relieved that she hadn't fallen. Relieved that Volo wasn't angry at her. Once she'd processed those thoughts, she wiped her face one more time, then tried to smile again.

"I think you're right, you know? It's a wonder I've survived this long. I'm just…I dunno. Livin' on a prayer, I guess." Even without looking up at him, Akari could imagine the question mark that must have been on Volo's face. She was sure her face turned hot enough to evaporate any tears that were left. "Oh…no, that's…Livin' on a Prayer, it's a song. From my time. Well, kinda before my time, I think…? It doesn't matter."

"A song? I see."

Akari thought she must have sounded like she was talking nonsense, half the time. She did try not to use modern references, but sometimes they just happened, when she wasn't thinking about her choice of words.

At times, she could be more forgiving of herself, because she wasn't sure whether or not something existed yet. This was not, however, one of those moments. Akari was quite sure that classic rock music didn't exist yet, anywhere, in any form.

Not for the first time, she wondered whether she could pre-emptively write songs from the future, or maybe even invent things that shouldn't exist yet. For her first few days in Hisui, she'd been so afraid of things like that, scared that she would somehow cause a universe-terminating paradox, or that she'd be punished by some deity for claiming things that were not her own. She wouldn't have done it, in any event.

But those fears had faded away so quickly - in the face of everything else she'd been given to fear - that they were funny now. Funny enough to make her laugh out loud.

"That's much better," Volo remarked. "Much better than seeing you weep, Miss Akari."

Akari was glad that he hadn't asked what she was laughing at, because she didn't know if she could explain it.