Hello friends, I hope you're all doing well and enjoying this journey. Please be lenient with me when it comes to updating. I'm going back to school to get my B.S., so I can only write when I don't have homework or school. Don't worry though, I'm attached to this story and have to see it through to the end.

Also, I have received both good and bad feedback on the attention to pronouns. I want to be as respectful as I can, but finding a way to introduce every character's pronouns organically can be tedious and difficult to write. I'm trying to find an appropriate balance between natural assumption and respect.

This chapter will begin with Katniss's point of view, and end with Johanna's. I have to be honest, I blasted through the trip to District 2 at light speed in this chapter because I was tired of writing from Katniss' POV, and I wanted to get to the rescue mission sooner. Thank you to everyone who has left kudos or reviewed this piece of fiction! Take care of yourself, find ways to love life, let yourself be vulnerable. Empathy is power.

L'appel du vide (French) - The call of the void.

Katniss

When we make our way off of the ship, the first thing I notice is the overall condition of our surroundings. It's terrible. I don't see a single building that's completely intact, and there are small fires scattered about the area. They usher us into a larger structure resembling a warehouse of sorts, and my senses are bombarded with the sights, smells, and sounds of the hundreds of people within. The sight of them either running around or lying on the ground, the smell of blood and medicine, and the sound of people crying or screaming in pain. It appears to be a makeshift hospital building.

Several people turn to look as we make our way in, and it's not long before a quiet falls upon the crowd, with whisperings trickling throughout. A few of the soldiers immediately begin assisting the nurses, and Boggs leans down to say "Go on, get acquainted with the people." before giving me a slight nudge. I take a few steps forward and begin a slow pace around the hospital.

I notice Cressida and her crew following me at different angles while trying to get a good shot on the cameras. Boggs attempts to look for the leader here, and Gale follows a few steps behind me as I walk. Most people stop what they're doing when I get close enough, pausing just to gawk. They all look so lost and battered.

A young kid stops me in my tracks with "Katniss Everdeen?" I turn in their direction, and they continue "What are you doing here?"

I know what I need to be doing so I respond, loud enough for everyone to hear, "I came to see all of you."

One woman a few rows away shouts "What about the baby?" and I'm struck by the recollection that everyone thinks I'm pregnant. I had forgotten about Peeta sending everyone into a frenzy when he claimed I was, attempting to put an end to the games.

There's no reason to keep up that charade anymore, but I don't know if people would be upset to find out we lied about everything. I decide to fib and hopefully just neutralize the situation, so I reply "I lost it.."

She and several other people in the crowd's faces fall in sadness, and there are a few murmurs of "I'm so sorry" throughout the rows. Before I can continue walking, a teen with short black hair and a makeshift bandana around their head steps out of the crowd and in front of me.

"Are you fighting, Katniss?" They have a determined look about them, eyes filled with anger. They rephrase the question, stronger now, "You here to fight with us?"

Everyone's eyes are on me, and it's gotten so quiet that all of my other senses flare up, my skin prickling. I squeeze the string of my bow on my chest, then look at them with my head and eyes steady.

"I am…I will."

The teen lifts his hand to his face, kissing three fingers before holding them up in the salute that I haven't seen in so long. One by one the people in the crowd repeat the gesture until everyone is flashing their support at me. I fight back the urge to cry, instead doing the salute myself before nodding and turning to leave. The crew as well as Gale, Boggs, and a woman from District 8 that goes by Commander Paylor who was conversing with Boggs earlier, follow me out of the building.

We exit the building, and after we've walked for a bit Gale says, "Your mom's gonna be proud when she sees the footage," with a smile. Then he looks at Cressida and asks, "Will this play in the districts?"

She laughs, "It'll be tattooed on their eyes".

Suddenly Boggs has us on the alert when he remarks "There's a problem," with enough urgency that the entire group's body language shifts. Gale is the first to respond, "What kind of problem?"

Boggs looks down at his device before uttering, "Incoming bombers from the north, we need to find cover, now."

Commander Paylor speaks up, "There's a bunker in there!" and she points towards a building, or what's left of one. We hop over the broken windows one at a time and start running towards a door at the far end of the building.

Before we make it to the door, the noise of gunfire breaks out close to the hospital, and the sound of people shouting reaches us. I immediately change course and veer towards the side of the structure in which I can see more of what's going on. Everyone is shouting behind me for me to stop or wait, but I can't just run and hide if there's someone we can help.

I'm hoping I can pull more people into the bunker with us, but right as I make it to a hole in the wall, I see a ship fly overhead and drop a bomb on the building right next to this one. The blast knocks back both me and Gale, and it takes about ten seconds for us to get our bearings and shake the ringing out of our ears.

'What do I do? This is obviously the worst case scenario. But how can we help anyone?'

Before I can think any further, we look up at Boggs shouting to see a giant twenty-five story stone column falling over the building we're in.

"Move!" Boggs himself backs away in the opposite direction. Gale and I sprint to the right as fast as possible while the column crashes through the ceiling and bricks and debris go flying apart on the ground, shaking the earth beneath us. We both give ourselves a quick once over, and once we know for sure we're both unscathed, we keep moving away and around through the rubble to the side of the building to get a better view of what's going on.

"I knew it Gale, Snow knows we're here." I grab the now dusty material on his arm aggressively, looking at him with sparks filling my irises.

He ignores the comment in favor of the pressing matters at hand, which I'm grateful for. "They're going after something to the south.." His brows are furrowed as he watches the ships zoom overhead.

My eyes widen, "That's towards the hospital…"

The ships fly over the hospital area before making a sharp turn back around. "They're circling back around…come on!" I shout at Gale and pull him along with me, running towards the hospital. We run up the stairs and through the door of a taller building, hoping to get a better line of sight. We have to duck behind some rubble when bullets rain down on the now open top floor that we've made it to.

When we raise our heads again, it's to see a big explosion in the west, and my heart drops. "That's the hospital, they're targeting the hospital!" In a flurry of fury and rage, I pull off and wield my bow, while drawing what I know to be a red arrow. I take a few slow steps around the flooring that remains, attempting to get the best angle. I know it's a bit of a long shot, but if they fly low enough they can be hit. Gale follows my lead and raises his crossbow, aiming at the two ships now approaching us and heading for the hospital again. As they get closer, all I can feel is the string of the bow against my lips and my heartbeat in my hands.

The ships begin firing bullets on the ground in a line directly in front of us, closing in quickly. I can't see Gale fully, but neither of us waver, and I keep my breathing as steady as possible. On one final exhale, I release my arrow and Gale fires the crossbow simultaneously. The shots were successful, and the two ship's back-ends erupt in an explosion of flame and smoke before they spin and crash into each other, careening to the ground in a ball of fiery metal. They crashed near the hospital, and we take off in a sprint towards that area.

When we arrive, we're stopped in our tracks by the sight ahead. The only people that appear to have survived are a few soldiers and the crew that left for the bunker. The entire hospital is a burning pit of destruction.

'All of those people…those wounded and hopeful people…that kid…dead.'

My vision starts to spin, and all I can seem to do is scream "Help them! Get them out!" as I look around at the others helplessly. Cressida approaches me with the camera and says, "Katniss! Katniss, can you tell everyone what you're seeing right now?" She pans the camera around for a second before coming back to me. "Katniss, what do you wanna say?" Everyone around me is just standing, staring, in shock. It slowly dawns on me that there's no one left to save, and that's why they're not making a move to help anyone.

In this moment I feel an unexplainable calm overtake me, my stance steadying, and I know just what I want to say to the camera, to Snow. I take a breath.

"I want the rebels to know that I'm alive. That I'm in District 8, where the Capitol just bombed a hospital filled with unarmed men, women and children. And there will be no survivors." I clench my teeth and force back the wave of emotion that wants to bring tears to my eyes before grounding out, "If you think for one second that the Capitol will ever treat us fairly, you are lying to yourselves! Because we know who they are, and what they do. This is what they do! And we must fight back." I turn to the crew member behind me with the camera helmet, pretending that he is Snow himself. "I have a message for President Snow. You can torture us, and bomb us, and burn our districts to the ground. But do you see that?" I turn and point to the burning heap that was once the two bomber ships.

"Fire is catching. And if we burn, you burn with us!"

Having delivered the last thing I'd needed to say, I turn back to the destruction, hoping it provides a silent signal that I'm done with the filming right now. I allow myself to grieve the loss of the people I never got to know. The people who supported me and were willing to fight with me, for me even. I fall to my knees and don't resist the tears that come.

The hovercraft we came in was thankfully undamaged by the explosions and gunfire, having been guarded by a thick steel wall. We gathered the supplies that we could find before boarding for take-off. Commander Paylor decided to come back to 13 with us, since there was nobody else left in 8.

The ambience on the ship was bleak, with everyone quietly in their own thoughts. I'm exhausted, and I can feel the ache in both my muscles and brain. I assumed we were going back to 13, so I'm surprised when Boggs approaches me, grim-faced, to tell me that we're making a stop in what's left of District 12.

"Why would we need to go there? I thought there was nothing left?" I say with my brows furrowed.

"We recently sent a crew there to further investigate the remains of the district, as well as salvage anything that may be useful to us. However, their hovercraft was damaged upon landing, and they haven't been able to leave for a few days. We're going to pick them up on the way back to 13." He states matter of factly, and I'm grateful for his straightforwardness.

"Okay, thank you." I nod my head at him and he jerks his down in return, and walks away. Before I can even make it to one of the seats against the wall to consider whether or not I want to see what District 12 looks like, Cressida approaches me from the side.

"Katniss, I know it's already been a lot today, but we were hoping that while we were in 12 we could get some footage of you and Gale among the remains…?" Her smile looks more like a grimace, and I have to force my face not to contort into a snarl.

"Don't we have enough for the day?!" I bite, before swallowing and attempting to reign in my anger, "Look, I'm tired, and I don't even know yet how I'm going to react when I see what's left of 12. I'm sure you can imagine it's not very comfortable to have your raw emotions and vulnerabilities displayed for everyone to see." I give her a pleading look, but she only returns one of guilt. I realize that this probably isn't up to her, this is coming from higher up. This is the order of Coin.

"Katniss, I'm so sorry, but it's that emotion that fuels a great deal of this rebellion…It's believed that the footage of what happened in District 8 combined with footage in 12 could help sway some undecided districts…and we'll stay out of sight, and only use helmet cams so it feels more organic. You don't have to do anything special, just act naturally and we'll use what we can." She puts her hands together in a prayer gesture and questions me hopefully with her eyes. I'm aware that even if I said no, it wouldn't matter. She knows this too, yet she has the decency to ask and make it seem like it's my choice. Like I'm doing her a favor by saying yes.

I sigh, accompanied by a rolling of my eyes, and just respond with a drawled out "Fiiine" before giving her a miniscule smile. She beams at me and pats my leg before leaving me to my thoughts.

We arrive in District 12 faster than expected, and seeing the remains definitely strikes an emotional chord in me. Thankfully, Gale ends up leading the team over the ruins and speaks for the camera about what happened here. He talks about how he got people out, and did what he could amidst the destruction. I have a respect for Gale now that I never used to possess, and I'm grateful to have him in my life.

We eventually came upon one of the places in 12 that Gale and I liked to spend the most time, a small pond constantly agitated by a large waterfall. The nostalgia fills me up as we all sit to rest and take it in.

Pollux is sitting next to me, and a bird lands right behind us. He points to it, then taps the mockingjay pin on his shirt while smiling at me. I smile back and say "Yeah, that's a mockingjay."

He brings his fingers to his lips and does a quick whistle to the tune that was once a signal for Rue and I in the first games, and is now a symbol of the rebellion. The bird repeats the tune, which causes an eruption from the other nearby mockingjays with the melody.

Gale purses his lips in annoyance, "Great, now they'll never shut up."

Pollux is unfazed by his comment, and smiles at me once more before gesturing from his mouth out into the air.

"What…you want me to sing?" I say with one eyebrow raised. He nods his head enthusiastically, and I consider the request. There aren't many songs that I actually know, but while filled with nostalgia from being in 12 there is one that comes to mind. It's a song that my dad used to sing to Prim and I as small kids, though it's not the lightest of tunes. I take a small breath before beginning,

"Are you, are you, comin' to the tree

Where they strung up a man, say he murdered three

Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be

If we met, at midnight, in the hanging tree"

I continue the song with its interchanging second lines, and everyone is quiet and pensive for the entire thing. I know that they must have filmed me singing, but I don't look behind me to confirm it. We all pack up our things and head back to the ship for departure.

When we board for the final time, I'm caught off guard by someone grabbing my right arm and pulling me into a hug. I jerk back to see their face, and I let out a garbled mess of sound when I see who it is.

Effie Trinket is staring back at me with a wide smile and barely any makeup, fretting over my face and clothes with her hands, all the while nagging me. I'm so relieved to see her that I yank her back in for a real hug.

"Oh! Goodness, well I'm happy to see that you're opening up more, dear." Effie says with teary eyes, and I laugh in response, wiping away my own tears.

"What were you doing here?" There's concern in my voice for the only woman that has been like an aunt to me. The last time I asked Prim where she was she only said that 'she had to leave for something' and would be back. I'm kicking myself for not pursuing the matter further.

"Well, they wanted to send a team here to gather resources after the bombings, and at this time you were still recovering from the games you see, so I knew we needed someone to stop by Victor's Village to check for your family, Peeta, and Haymitch's belongings. I'm sure none of these brutes would handle your things properly." She turns her nose up in the air before continuing, "Then we had to go and get stranded, ah! Do you know how long it's been since I've had a shower?!" Her face contorts into one of dramatic horror.

"Thank you, Effie. I appreciate you doing that for us, and I'm sorry you got stranded. Did you find anything useful in the village?" I'm hopeful that some of my clothes or items from the house made it.

"Actually, yes…in fact, it appears that Snow intentionally left the village completely intact. We managed to recover medicines and clothes, as well as some toiletries and kitchenware. This was also found in your room…" She reaches behind her and pulls something from a satchel she has wrapped around her. It's a single white rose.

I grit my teeth when I see it, the faint scent it produces wafting past my nose briefly. It's hard not to feel as though Snow destroyed 12 solely because of me. Fighting off the guilt hasn't been this hard until now, and it's probably because I had convinced myself that Snow would have done it anyway, with or without me in the picture. But that's not right. He destroyed District 12 because that's where I'm from. He wanted to send me a message, and the message has been received.

I take the rose from her and hold the bud in my right hand while gripping the stem in my left. I'm thankful that his attempts to break me only further my determination to destroy him.

'I won't let him take any more people that I care about.'

I squeeze my right hand as tightly as possible, crushing the rose and feeling it break apart beneath my fingers. I open my hand and let the petals fall, before stomping on them and twisting my foot.

"Thanks again Effie. I should tell you, while you were gone Coin agreed to let me go on the rescue mission for Peeta, Johanna, and Annie in a few weeks. As long as I continue to follow orders and record the propos. Will you help me with the aesthetic stuff when the propos recording time comes?"

She literally jumps in place before grabbing both of my forearms, "Of course I will! There's nothing I would like better, especially while living with all of these drab…people. No sense of fashion I tell you, none!" I give her a small smile and a nod, and we make idle talk while the ship takes off and begins the course for 13.

Once we're back in the underground district, Gale, Boggs, and I make our way to Coin's room for a debriefing. We finish telling her everything and are dismissed to our chambers for the night. I want nothing more than to just collapse in my bed and sleep off this day. I know I'll have to get up early for breakfast and training, so I want to give my muscles some much needed unwinding. The low churning squelching from my stomach causes me to get up and change my clothes, in order to go get some food. Before I leave the room, I notice something on my desk that wasn't there when I left. It's a small deer that was carved from wood, and was given to me by my father when I was six. Effie must have grabbed it from my room when she was there. I'll have to do something for her soon.

Dinner was nothing special, another bland meal. There was barely anything left by the time that I made it there, so I had to settle for a roll and some gravy. I sat with Haymitch and Effie, who gossipped about some of the trouble-makers down here. Effie gifted me a journal that she gained through bartering, and I barely had enough energy to stay present, but I thanked her and took it.

When I got back to my room, I didn't bother taking off my clothes or brushing my teeth, and just fell upon the small bed. I slept deeply and without much tossing, turning, or surprisingly nightmares. When I opened my eyes again to the beeping alarm clock, I realized I didn't even get under the blankets, and I was in the same position I collapsed in.

I got up to take a shower, and changed into a new set of training clothes. Prim was at the door waiting for me, and we walked to the cafeteria to have breakfast together while she asked about my day yesterday. It was tough to tell her everything, and she was saddened to hear about District 8. Still, talking to her always made the weight a little bit lighter.

After breakfast I met Boggs on the bottom floor to begin my new training regimen. It was insanely difficult, and I barely made it through still breathing. He assured me that I did great, and that I was to stick to this regimen every day of the week except Mondays.

When I make it back to my room, I decide to pass the time by writing in the journal Effie gave me. I wrote out everything that happened yesterday, only briefly mentioning the…private time I had before napping. Dinner came later, and I made it in time to get more than just bread.

They broadcasted the propos to the districts as well as the Capitol. I overheard someone talking a day after it aired, and the revolutionaries in District 5 apparently decided to destroy the dam that supplies power to the Capitol. A few days later word got around that District 10 was joining us, and that they had cut off supply of crops and meat to the Capitol. District 7 also chose to fight back and blew up all of the peacekeepers that were overseeing them. That's where Johanna is from…

'I wonder, if I can sway her district, could I also sway her?'

That only leaves Districts 1,2, and 3 not yet aiding in the revolution. In retaliation, Snow made sure to air their own propos, involving Peeta and Caesar as the interviewer. Peeta looked absolutely emaciated, with a nearly completely faded light in his eyes, giving them an overall dull look. His cheeks are sunken in and he has dark half-moons under his lower lids. His hair and skin are covered in gel and makeup, giving him an unnatural look. My heart lurches in guilt and disgust, but also hope. He's still alive, which may mean the others are too.

The things he's made to say sting, and his call to cease fire for the rebellion is received poorly from everyone. They label him a traitor, and nobody is keen to hear that he will be a target for the rescue mission when Coin announces it to 13. I defend him when I can and try to get people to see reason, but it's difficult.

The days continue on like this for two weeks. Wake up, go to breakfast, then training, dinner, and writing in my journal or finding ways to kill time with myself or others. Trying to ignore any broadcasts that the Capitol makes, only focusing on Peeta's condition. I spoke with Coin, and she left the decision on whether or not to take Finnick on the rescue mission to Boggs. So Finnick joined me and Gale in training every day.

The training was grueling at first, but after four or five days I began to get used to it. Even looked forward to it. It was something to do that benefited me in the long run, and I reminded myself that these skills would help us recover Johanna and the others.

The weeks passed quickly, my anxiety creeping up a step with every day that passed, and

before I knew it, I was being summoned to Coin's room for another mission briefing. This time it was to District 2, to capture the Capitol's headquarters for offensive military operations, a large mountain called "The Nut", and simultaneously film propos.

The mission went by all too fast, from meeting the soldiers in District 2 along with Commander Lyme, discussing strategies with everyone, Gale suggesting that we should just cave them all in and bury them alive, me going off on him about suggesting that - to everyone actually agreeing with the plan, having the exception that we would leave the train routes open for the people inside to escape. When they make it to the square, our soldiers would be waiting for them and push for surrender. If they don't concede, they'll be killed.

I hate it but we go through with it, and a few hours later I watch the explosives on top of the mountain go off, causing an avalanche that totally smothers the Nut. It was a success. We go to the square to wait and see if any trains come, our soldiers at the ready in case they don't want to surrender.

To my relief, a ton of people exit the trains, and we take them all in with their hands up. That is until one man begins acting suspiciously, holding a dark object in his hand. One of the soldiers orders him to stop and put his hands up, but he only steps forward and raises an arm with the object. The soldier fires on him, hitting him in the leg. He falls to the ground and something comes over me in that moment. I rush in to stop them from killing him, shouting "Wait! Just wait! He needs help!" as I step in front of him. I lean down to say it's okay and hopefully de-escalate the situation, but he reveals the object in his hand to be a gun, which is now pointed at my throat.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't shoot." He's shaking, the white of his eyes extra prominent. His whole demeanor reads desperation.

I look at him for a few seconds, thinking as rapidly as I can. "I can't. I guess that's the problem, isn't it? We blow up your mountain, you burn my District to the ground. We each have every reason to want to kill each other. So…if you want to kill me, do it. Make Snow happy. I'm tired of killing slaves for him."

This seemed to strike a nerve, "I'm not his slave." he says with his brows furrowed.

"I know. District 12 and District 2, we have no fight. Except the one the Capitol gave us. Why are you fighting the rebels? We're your neighbors. We're family." Finally he lowers the gun, and I feel like I can breathe again. He seems to have come to a peace, and I realize that I can help people in this way, I can sway them. I stand back up before turning to the crowds. I need to address them, I need to say something.

"These people are not your enemy! We all have one enemy, and that's Snow. He corrupts everyone, and everything. He turns the best of us against each other. Stop killing for him. Tonight, turn your weapons to the Capitol. Turn your weapons, to Sn-" Before I can finish saying his name, two shots are fired and I feel the pressure in the right side of my chest and shoulder before falling to the ground, everything going dark.

Johanna

It's been a couple of hours since the ringing stopped, and I can still hear it in my head. The fatigue is getting to me, and the whiplash of emotions I've had lately hasn't helped. I managed to fall asleep successfully for three hours before I was awoken by the guards at my door.

"So Mason, what's your answer? Snow said for us to retrieve a yes or no from you, and gave us instructions to act accordingly." The sleazeball has his head tilted back in arrogance.

"Tell Snow that if he wants a yes from me, he can come down here and let me fill his rectal cavity with my entire leg while I shove his head in alligator-infested waters." I laugh at my own creativity, and this garners a scowl from the guard.

"I'll take that as a no then. Oh well, that's what I was hoping your answer was anyway." His face twists upwards as they unlock the door and approach me. I let them grab my arms, and I'm too tired to resist wherever they're taking me. Until we go through a door that leads down into the basement research area. This is where they take Peeta when he comes back looking the worst, when he's broken. I know I don't have much fight left in me, but I'd rather risk it than go through what they're about to put me through. I turn on my heel and kick the old asshole in his crotch, and when he keels over clutching it, I grab his head and slam it down into my upwards flying knee. I feel his nose break, and while he's reeling I kick him in the face as hard as I can, causing him to slam into the brick wall of the hallway. Before I can make another move, I'm struck in the back so forcefully that I hit the ground prone. I gasp for air and try to lift up on all fours, but the large peacekeeper takes this opportunity to kick me in the side, knocking me a couple of meters away. I land on my side, and when I'm able to take some ragged breaths, I cough up blood in front of me. "Damn….fuck you, you giant freak of a bastard."

He doesn't speak, has never spoken a single day that I've been around him, he just calmly makes his way towards me. I'm aware that in the condition I'm in, I'm no match for this dude, and I don't have any time or a weapon to fight back with. 'Wait! The sleazeballs utility belt!'

With everything I've got left, I jump up and begin sprinting towards the downed peacekeeper, and when the large guy steps in my path to stop me I step once to the left, then the right. This causes him to spread his legs in order to cut off both routes, and I use that opportunity to slide under his legs. 'Son of a bitch it worked!'

I manage to reach the guy lying unconscious, the gun on his belt wedged between his body and the floor. I roll him over and unholster the gun, spinning to blast this guy in the head, but as my arm comes around it's met by the force of him swinging a beater like a bat in the opposite direction. It knocks the gun out of my hand as well as breaks at least two of my fingers. I scream but I still attempt to kick him in the knee, before he uses the opening to bring the beater down on top of my head.

It's enough to make my vision go cloudy, and all the fight I had left leaves me.

The big guy radios for back-up to pick up the downed peacekeeper, then picks me up and carries me into the room they've been trying to get me into. It's a room with a single chair, and an entire wall that's a screen. While he's strapping me into the chair I let my head lull back, and I notice another feature of this room.

There are at least thirty dark birds in cages suspended in the ceiling. I have a bad feeling in my gut about this, and my whole body is still ringing with pain. The peacekeeper says nothing, only presses a button on the side of the screen, then leaves the room.

When he hit the button the screen wall lit up, at first just a sea of static black and white. Then footage began to play of the 74th hunger games.

All of the scenes at first were of Katniss and Peeta, their fake lovey dovey moments. I can't help but to roll my eyes. But eventually right after they would show a scene, they would add in footage of either Katniss getting shot, or me slaughtering the other tributes in my games. With every word spoken in the clips, the birds above, which I now know to be mockingjays, repeat them with a near perfect copy of the original voice. It's maddening. Every scream, every threat, sigh, whistle, shot- all set on a loop. They began to intermingle footage of what appear to be recent bombings in the Districts. Images of Katniss running from gunfire and explosions, then me hitting her in the back of the head before holding her down and cutting out her tracker.

Just when I think I can close my eyes and drown it all out somehow, I feel a prick in my arm. I look down and upon closer scrutiny I can see a syringe attached to a tube that leads behind the chair. They've just injected me with something, and it doesn't take long to figure out it must be tracker jacker venom.

The room suddenly feels unstable, the chemicals making their way through my bloodstream and to my brain. I may be imagining it but the volume of the videos and birds seems to increase, screeching across my senses.

I attempt to keep my breathing steady, trying not to let myself really feel the itch under my skin, or the desire to scream and claw my eyes out. That's when the hallucinations start…

At first it's just a plant or piece of rubble materialized from the videos on the floor in front of me. Then it becomes more immersive, and suddenly it's like I'm there, in every clip, my surroundings now the scenes themselves. Every time it changes, it's as if the chair I'm in zooms forward, pressing me harder against it.

The sheer chaos and gore in front of me is difficult to stomach, and I clench my teeth, trying to look anywhere that's not the past in front of me. The venom is somehow making it impossible for me to close my eyes, and eventually I can't move my hands or any other part of my body anymore.

After what felt like hours, a new setting materialized around me. One that I was quite familiar with, nostalgia rolls over my consciousness. In the short distance, there's a small house that looks like it was built by hand using longleaf pine logs. A clothesline runs away from the right side of the house, and a woman is pulling wet clothes from a bucket and hanging them.

A sturdy looking man chops wood on a large stump in front of the house, stacking the split pieces on top of one another. Two dogs, one small and one larger, both graying in the face, lay on the porch enjoying the breeze. But then something alerts the dogs and they jump up, beginning to run in my direction, barking and snarling their heads off. Yet, that doesn't make any sense, because I know these dogs. I know these people.

'This is my old house…my family…'

I'm not sure anymore if this is video footage or just my own personal memories. It's so real… It's hard to keep the tears from spilling over when I see them alive and in front of my childhood home. However, I'm sure this is footage and not a memory now, as the perspective of the camera carrier becomes clearer. White clothes with white gloves and a large flamethrower in hand, a peacekeeper walking towards my house looks to their left and right, revealing several other soldiers with guns and flamethrowers.

The one with the camera attached turns back to the dogs sprinting in rage, pulling the handle. Flames spill out of the barrel like bright red water vapor, dousing the dogs, and they quickly turn tail and run back towards the house, still on fire. My mother and father attempt to help them by throwing wet laundry on their bodies. The peacekeepers don't stop their approach.

My father stands up and grabs the axe, threatening them to stay back and leave their house alone. Someone to the right of the camera carrier fires two shots directly into his leg and he drops to one knee. I can see the agony on his face, battling with himself over staying to fight or running to live.

He clenches his teeth and uses the axe to prop himself back up onto his feet, blood gushing from the two holes in his leg. "Winnie, take the dogs and go…Now!" He intends to fight.

My mother sobs as she wraps the dogs up in the wet clothes and hesitates to leave, rushing up behind him and grabbing his sleeve. "Let's just go, Tolga, together! Please honey!"

He grabs her arm and forcibly wrenches it free from his sleeve, grabbing and holding both of her forearms in one large hand as he jerks her in close. "This is your only chance to get away, Winnie! Just do as I say and go! I…I love you so, so much, don't forget that." And with that he smashes his lips against hers, and she can only keep her mouth closed for a millisecond before howling in anguish upon his lips. He pushes her away and turns on the peacekeepers, who for whatever reason allowed them to have their moment. I can't help but wonder if their sick brains wanted to let my parents believe that my mother had a chance of escaping, before ripping that chance away.

My father spins once and throws the axe vehemently towards the camera carrier, nailing them in the head. The body falls to the ground but the way they land allows the camera to still see the scene. The others riddle him with bullets, making him drop to his knees. He spits out blood before smiling and raising the middle finger on his right hand towards them. Then one steps forward and lights his body aflame. My mother had only made it a few yards away when they shot her and the dogs dead.

The peacekeepers took their time burning every single thing in the area, until there was nothing left but black and white ash.

I've never actually seen that footage before, and I wasn't nearby when it happened. I was told that there was an "accidental" fire in my house, and that no one and nothing survived. But that was a lie, and this is the truth that I had suspected. I try to drown out the mockingjays screeching "Please honey!" and "Just do as I say and go!" in my parent's signature voices.

The footage changes again and it's the same as how it started when I first came in here. It starts playing the same series of chopped and stitched footage as before, eventually coming back to the burning of my home. Over and over…

Now I know why Peeta looks like such shit when he comes back from this room.

'I'm gonna go mad in here…'

I don't know how long I was strapped to that chair, but I also don't remember being unstrapped and carried to my cell. Eventually the tracker jacker venom wore off and I passed out. My body aches and I feel as though all the life energy has been drained from my limbs. The things I saw in that room attempt to push at my mind, but I fight it off when I see there's a plate of slop on the ground by the steel bed, as well as a small cup of water that has a tan/brown hue.

I slide to the edge of the bed and gingerly reach down to grab some of the food scraps with my hands and push them through my lips. I pick up the cup and smell it first, which isn't the best idea. It had a putrid scent, but I know I need to drink it.

'I have to stay alive. Despite the pain and mental exhaustion. I won't be broken.'

I scrunch my face into a grimace as I quickly knock back the cup of, hopefully, water. The hand holding the cup shakes, my eyes glued to its jagged rim. Thoughts creep into my mind of what my future holds here. If they haven't come by now, I doubt the rebellion will try to rescue us. Escaping would be outrageously difficult, and would require me to be in a condition to fight and run, which I certainly am not. That big oaf really shook some of my organs around with that kick, and my fingers are still pulsing in broken pain.

The only hope I have seems to be biding my time and gaining my strength for an escape attempt. Possibly with Peeta if I can get him on board, but then what about Annie? And how would we even get out? I don't know the area that they're holding us in, and we don't have the strength or resources to make it very far.

I don't have the energy to think about it anymore, and the cup clangs to the floor as my lids close and I succumb to sleep.

When I open my eyes, I'm strapped to the chair again, staring at the same large screen. The peacekeeper buckles the last strap before going behind me to press the button and shut me in. I struggle against the bindings and try to scream expletives at him, but the struggling initiates the tracker jacker venom injection, and the hell begins.

I slowly become aware of my surroundings, this time on the floor of my cell. They've taken me to that room at least five times now, but I can't remember exactly how many. My physical wounds have started to heal as best they can, yet the mental gashes grow. I've started to see hallucinations even when I'm out of the room, and the tracker jacker venom feels like it never leaves my veins.

Any moment of peace I have, I use to try and clear my head to think of a way out of this. The problem is, I can't think of one. I'm so weak, and it's so hard to think of something that would actually work. It hurts to think of Katniss and the others, and I'm not actually sure if any of them are alive. I won't let my body be used as a plaything by the Capitol, and I also won't give in and tell them anything, but I don't know how much more of this torture I can take.

My eyes linger on the thin metal plate lying beside me, the only option I can now imagine flickering through my mind. I grab the plate, tilting it so all of the gross muck can slide off and onto the floor. I use the steel beams holding the bed up to bend the plate in half one way, then back the other way. I repeat this until the plate breaks in half.

It's just as I thought it would be, the plate's edges are sharp and jagged where it's been broken. I run my thumb over the breakage just once, realizing that the edge not being smooth would make the act rough and messy. For a long while I just hold the piece of the plate, staring. It's so tempting. My mental fortitude is withering away, and the escape of death would be better than staying here. Better than going back into that room, or eating rotten onion peels and leftover mystery meat fat until they decide to kill me. Or worse, drug me and sell my body to all those looking for a piece of victor to pass around…

Still, it wouldn't be better than living to see Snow die, or eating a really delicious meal again, or laughing with Finnick at other people's expense, or getting to see Katniss…if even just one more time. If there's even a 0.01% chance that I could experience those things again, then I have to try. I have to try something.

My head hurts when I think of Katniss, and the images from the room try to force their way into my consciousness. I shake my head hard and pick up the cup of liquid that they left me for the day, taking it over to the door.

I take a breath and kick the keypad until the glass covering breaks up, before throwing the water on it. It immediately short-circuits and rings an error sound. I know the peacekeepers will be on their way to figure out what's going on, so I grab one piece of the plate off of the floor and tuck it into my pants, then grab the other piece and hold it in my hands. I stand beside the door and wait for them to get there.

I can hear their footsteps coming down the hall, and I grip the plate as tightly as possible.

"Mason? What in the hell is going on with your cell? If you are fucking things up I am finally going to get my payback on you for breaking my nose the other day." He's complaining as he's retrieving the key that will manually open the door. My heartbeat's in my esophagus as the lock turns over, the door coming away from the wall.

"I know your ass won't try anything, or else you'll go back to the ro-"

I lunge forward with both hands on the plate to drag it through his throat, and it's enough force to cut him halfway. He gargles on his own blood before dropping to the floor, immediately dead.

I still have to face the larger one, but that victory has given me wings. I reach for the gun on the downed keepers belt and manage to pull it free. The big guy has started towards me but I fire at his outstretched hand, the bullet forming a perfect hole as it flies through it.

He hollers before drawing his own gun, and I squeeze the trigger repeatedly, in a panic as I move towards the door. He ducks and tries to shield himself with the body of his peacekeeper pal, firing off a few bullets of his own. His bulletproof vest protects him from the bulk of my lousy shots.

Soon the gun clicks in a telltale sign of being empty, and I sprint out of the doorway before attempting to find someplace to hide. There's a food cart with various plates and cups littering it, and it's big enough for me to get behind.

'Which is exactly why I shouldn't get behind it, that's where he'll think I've hidden!'

I push the cart just so that it's right in front of one of the other cells, and I lean into a space across the hall from that cell. Between each cell door there's a slight jutting-out of the wall, and that leaves a crack just big enough for my malnourished body to fit into. I pull the other half-plate piece out of the back of my pants and wait with bated breath.

I can hear him breathing through his mask, the rustling of his clothes letting me know that he's not far now. A few more steps and I can see his foot, just before I see his hands holding the gun. They're pointing the gun at the cart, and with another step his body comes into view. He's so focused on what's behind the cart, he doesn't see me poised and waiting. 'It worked!'

I lunge forward, slicing at his side and successfully cutting through the material of his shirt and straps of the armor. The vest sags to one side and blood can be seen right away through the tear in the clothes as he screams in pain, clutching at his side with one hand. I take this opportunity to slice at the wrist holding the gun, and manage to cut through his forearm before I slam my other fist down on the gun. It comes loose from his hand and clatters to the floor a couple of yards away.

Before I can even move for it, he decks me across the face with his fist, causing me to stumble backwards into the drink cart. Then he comes at me with his arms up in a pre-strangling gesture, snarling beneath the mask. I plant my left foot firmly then kick him directly in the crotch, sending him back a few steps, but not to his knees and he doesn't seem affected in the least.

I hold the plate out threateningly, and we slowly circle each other. He plucks the beater from his waist belt and grips it in his non-cut arm. He pulls his arm up at the same time he steps forward and swings the beater diagonally at me, so I move to the right to avoid it and thrust towards his chest with the plate. He grabs my arm and pushes hard so that I'm slammed into the wall, and fall to the ground.

The big bastard brings the beater down, breaking the bone of my left leg. Then hovers over me intending to strike me in the head, and I use my good leg to kick up towards his neck, but end up knocking the helmet off instead. This results in my absolute shock, and I freeze for a moment.

It's a woman. She has long blonde hair and she's absolutely huge.

"Oh shit! I gotta admit, I was not expecting that." I say while trying to gain some distance through slowly crawling backwards.

She makes a *tsk* sound before turning her head and spitting on the ground. The vest hanging half-hazardly from her now prominent chest gets ripped off by her good hand, and thrown down. She begins towards me and I hold my hand up in a gesture for stop, which she surprisingly does. I try to keep talking as I discreetly inch back.

"Well I guess it makes sense now as to why you seemed so much calmer and smarter than your idiot companion heh heh."

She rolls her eyes, not finding it as funny as I did. I've almost backed up to the gun.

"Seriously though, I'm surprised that someone like you bows to the will of a sickly old dog like Snow. Are you sure you're on the right side of this fight? Why not join the rebellion? Help me and my friends escape, and you'll have a secured ticket to the fight for freedom. I can tell that you don't love doing this, the torture. The hurting people. That's why you only ever use force when necessary and attempt to knock me out quickly. Without much of a fuss."

Her eyes flashed with vulnerability for a second at the mention of not loving the torture, and my hand hesitates behind my back on the gun. 'Maybe she actually can help us escape, and the tank of a woman would be quite the asset to have on our side'

She opens her mouth and it seems like she'll actually reply this time, but anything she would've said is drowned out by the shouts coming from behind me. "Drop the gun! Put your hands in the air!"

I turn my head to see more peacekeepers have arrived several yards down the hall and they're all armed, moving slowly towards us with guns pointed at me. I close my eyes and sigh, turning my head back towards the giantess.

'So close.'

They address the woman in front of me. "Keeper Hajek, what is going on here? Why is the prisoner not in her cell?"

The blonde woman pauses before me, unsure of what to say. Eventually she settled, "This prisoner attacked my partner and was attempting an escape, so I was apprehending her." Her voice isn't as deep as I was expecting, and is in fact quite feminine and light.

"An escape!? We should kill her right now then!" One of the peacekeepers shouts out, the sound of rustling clothes reaching my ears as I presume they step forward with the gun.

The woman named Hajek responded, "That would not be wise considering she possesses valuable information for President Snow. He would have your head."

'Well at least I won't get shot in the back of the skull…'

They're not having it though, as the one from earlier screams "I don't care what she has! We're too lenient on these prisoners, and this bitch will never talk anyway, Keeper Gemein told me all about her. Don't worry, you won't get in trouble. I'll take care of this -".

I close my eyes and wait for the shot to ring through my ears, but it never comes. This is because Hajek literally steps right over me and blocks me, spreading both arms out to her sides, one of them dripping with blood. She has the guts to turn her back on me, knowing I have a gun. 'I'm not gonna shoot this crazy beast now though, I bet the bullets would bounce off her back!'

"What happens to this prisoner is up to me, as she is under my order and duty to deal with, and if you intend to break ranks here, then I will have no choice but to put you in your place." She drops her arms and retrieves the beater from where she had re-holstered it on her waist. I'm shocked that she would intend to fight them here with no gun, and as I slowly spin around, I consider shoving this one up into her hand when the same peacekeeper responds. A shorter fellow with a slight shake in his arm. He's definitely intimidated by her.

"You may be big Hajek, but no one is going to be scared of you when it's seven against one, and the one has no gun. Besides, nobody here actually believes that you're good at this job or belong here. You can't even perform the duty of giving public lashes, what makes you think you could be a peacekeeper? Honestly, I think we would be doing Snow a favor by being rid of your freak ass. So fuck it." He steps forward and aims the gun at Hajek, finger poised to pull the trigger, "What do you say boys? Let's kill this big bitch and that crazy dy-" *BOOM!*

Out of nowhere an explosion causes giant pieces of stone and wall to come flying towards us from behind the peacekeepers, and immediately crushes four of them like grape tomatoes. As another large chunk topples towards us at break-neck speed, I grab the waistband of Hajek's pants and yank her to the ground. The stone misses us by an inch, but it slams into a wall behind us causing some of the ceiling to collapse. I try to grab her arm and pull her up but it's the arm I cut, and the blood causes my hands to slip off. I stumble backwards several feet and narrowly avoid a deadly piece of rubble with iron bars inside stabbing through my neck.

The blonde tries to get back on her feet and move forward but only makes it a few paces with a quick crawl before her leg is smashed by a falling piece of ceiling. She shrieks in suffering, and the finalities of the crumbling come to an end around us.

Dust is still hovering in the air, and the peacekeepers that survived and are closer to the exploded opening in the wall start shouting for backup. Gunfire ensues next from more than just the peacekeepers. I can just barely see their bodies drop to the floor through the hazy smoke.

I can't remember the last time I've actually been outside. Not in a fake 'outside' like the arena made by Snow's engineers, or the hotel room with LED scenery on the walls, but actually outside. It feels like we began that hunger game ages ago, and I've been in here for months. I've lost track of the time of day, but I can see now that it's night time, as no light is streaming in through the giant hole in the wall other than the lights from a large ship. Suddenly my internal clock rights itself, and I feel normalized somehow.

The dust and debris mostly clears away, and I can see it. Soldiers in black, a color which I never thought I'd be so relieved to see, cautiously moving down the hall, unlocking what remains of the prisoner cells and helping survivors onto the ship. Shouting for everyone to move quickly so they can get out of there.

Unbelievably, I hear my name ring through the dusty atmosphere like a beautiful bell, intermittently chiming for me and Peeta.

Katniss emerges swiftly from behind the soldiers, skidding to a stop when our eyes make contact.

Thank you everyone for reading, I hope that you didn't find this chapter to be too boring.

Also, how did y'all feel about Keeper Hajek? Do you want her to join the side of the rebellion, or have her killed? Her fate is in your hands! Let me know what y'all think.

Until next time,

Your Stressed-out-and-gay author.